Dat ass

Friend: So you're a programmer? You must be good in hacking WiFis and sht.
Me: Uhm..
Friend: Can you hack my PayPal account using HTML?
Me: Say no more.

Taken from Reddit 😂😂😂😂

Dark theme is soothing 😋

Taken from Quora

Hehe right on point....glad I managed to take a screenshot :P

When you spend too much time doing JS...

Me: so glad it's Friday!
Coworker: it's Wednesday...
Me: FUUUUCCKK. This is bullshit

Unnecessary optimizations everywhere

JS memes are the best

Happy Christmas.

I once asked "in web development, what does CSS stand for?" some answered "Counter Strike Source"

Fuck you java for forcing me to catch an exception which will never occur -.-

Anyone else get a little freaked out when someone tells you a website works BEST on IE?

*Me feeling productive on a day
Today I am going to start working on the complex part of my proect. Spends 1 hour deciding what all technologies to use , how to implement it, which design patterns to use .

Let's do it

*15 min later
Making some tiny css corrections

*3 hrs later
Making some tiny css corrections

*An eternity later
REALISED DIDN'T SET THE SIZE OF THE PARENT CONTAINER TO 100%

So much for thinking about being productive for today :(((

Guy I just met: so what do you do?

Me: I'm a developer

Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)

Me: so what do you do there?

Guy: sales

Me: oh...

Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.

Ctrl+Q instead of Ctrl+W in Firefox. Yup happens every time.

They have no idea.

Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug

What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.

LONELINESS IS REAL
I am a freshman in a university ( about to complete my first year ) with a girl to boy ratio of around 1:10. During my first semester I was spending a lot of time with friends, chatting up with people and making connections. Due to this my productivity as a dev, if I am even capable of being called that decreased ( I was not a developer before joining , but I had an aim of being one , esp at least the best in my batch ) after 1st year. In retrospect I did nothing productive till 3 months out of 4 in my first sem and the guilt hit me hard . During the last month I had to catch up with my much neglected studies and all I had done was a little bit of html and css, and barely scratched the surface of js( please don't judge me for this :) , I had to start somewhere < although I learned a little bit of C++ > ). BUT I WAS A HAPPY CUNT, and had no sign of lonelines. Now during this sem , I had made progress ( learn js with es6 syntax and still learning, did c++ and extended my knowledge ) . Currently I am working on my Vue full stack app ( along with express and some websocket library , TBD ) < yeh I learnt some backend too > , and increasing my knowledge of dsa using clrs. Although my productivity has increased manifolds but I know feel the need of closure. I am kinda happy with the fact that I know a lot of people around here ( thanks to my extroverted 1st semester ) but sometimes it hits me hard at night when I don't have a monitor to drown my eyes and thoughts in. I have increased my academic performance too but I need someone to share and express my feelings with. I could have made a girlfriend earlier but now most of them are taken and I have lost touch. But believe me, all I want is a companion to spend these lonely days and night ( not talking about as a friend ). Staying away from home isnt easy you know...m :(

KUDOS TO DEVRANT FOR DEVELOPING A COMMUNITY WHERE PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN FEEL SAFE IN OUR NATURAL HABITAT. I COULDN'T HAVE EXPRESSED MY FEELINGS ANYWHERE ELSE EXCEPT IN A PERSONAL BLOG ( where no one would have read it )

PS1: I apologise if I sounded arrogant about any of my skill, I didn't mean that way. I ain't even that good, just kinda proud of myself a little for achieving something I couldn't have thought.

PS2: Any type of suggestions and help is much appreciated ( considering I am a college student who went into some serious development 4 months ago , I am pretty impressionable ;) )

PS3: Please don't confuse this with depression. I am HAPPY BUT LONELY

PS4: Is there a way so that I can change my username?

Does balding scare the shit out of anyone else here? I am 19 and have started showing signs of male pattern baldness *sigh*. Just hope to make it to 25 without balding completely.

I hate it when your non dev friend uses top notch hardware and I am stuck with a piece of shit junk

!rant
Wrote my first unit test. Strangely feels satisfying.

Do you just walk in the city and tell yourself, "fck these humans. they don't know sht."? I know that's wrong but still...

Thanks to devrant , now I can be one those people trying to look social in one those so called meets with personal touch where everyone is scrolling their Facebook (still)

!rant

When people listen to a complete story and then ask who the villian was..

DEVS : It's like reading JavaScript and then asking what is "this"

Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods

When you are trying to be supportive to a colleague but he sees your act as condescension on your part. BITCH I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU SO PLEASE KNOW THE BARE MINIMUMS TO DO THE TASK. Also he complained to others that he was offended . He was tryna learn react before knowing es6 and nodejs , doesn't know asynchronous and was strongly suggesting that our whole fucking team move to React and I just suggested some topics to look to. I carried his ass once , and seems like now will have to carry it once more :(

What the user says and what they mean are rarely the same thing.

So first of all.. Fuck perl.. Actually, that's all I have to say

Naming variables with meaningful names

Was interested to learn about OpenGL and WebGL. Just found out no fucking drivers exist for my graphics card on Ubuntu.
WTF AMD !!! Atleast provide some compatibility for your product if I am purchasing it !!!

My laptop's back is rugged and rough so I can't apply any sticker...
Imagine the horrorrrrrr

Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.

It's 1:00( 1 am) here now...I wanted to get some coding done since 20:00(8 pm for the weird people ;P)
Got distracted by Dev rant all the time -.- and didn't write a single line of code...fml

Is it just me or should devrant have codeblock syntax?

Dumb ass

Does anyone here just wake up and feel shitty for absolutely no reason why ? When I say absolutely no reason means none whatseover from previous day etc . I wanna know if it's just me 😅

Just tested in production and sent over 3000 leads that shouldn't be sent. Ooops. ;-)

Programmers Bike

Spent hours troubleshooting an internal app that had zero logging today. It would just terminate, no exceptions, no feedback to the debugger, NOTHING.

Turned out to be the damn corporate virus scanner blocking "malicious" behaviour. Good thing my desk is so heavy or I woulda flipped it...

Talking to our helpdesk guy, our financial services controller emailed an 'emergency' restore from backups of 'missing' documents, stating they (the networking dept) violated company file retention policy and opened the company up to fines and other regulatory prosecution if we were audited. Once the files were restored, she wanted a system review of the policy to make sure this never happens again. She made sure she cc'ed VPs and other managers.

He found the files, they were moved one directory up and the log showed she had moved the directory earlier in the morning. He moved the files back and let her know.

Her response, "OK, Thanks" (funny, she didn't cc the VPs and other mgrs on the reply)

Glad I'm not the only one subject to end-user bat sht over-reaction craziness.

Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.

Agile what? We don't do any of these. We just do sht our way. RIP

When hosting company changes mysql host name from localhost to mysql. And you spend hour to see why your app does not connect to db because you don't wanna call support. &#-+_$&#&

1.Working on a repo's 20 day old version without pulling the changes first
2. Then blaming me to not tell him
3. Ultimately sending me a see screenshot of his code to incorporate in my code ( which he himself didn't write, but asked a coworker to do it)

WTF DUDE. Atleast you could have realised your mistake and not blamed me for it

Thoughts on Apple making their own processors for Macs. Ready, go!

You are paid to build sht, not to answer questions.

- Eli the Computer Guy

!rant
After 4 - 5 months of learning webD, I am trying to build my first fullstack web application (simple chat one ).

My stack :
FRONTEND:
Vue.js + Materialize

Backend:
Express ( handling routes )
Mongoose/MongoDB ( Database )
Socket.io ( web sockets for real time connection )
JWT

Had dreamt of this 2 months ago where I built a basic front end using html and css, and now porting it to Vue is like a breeze.

Wish me luck and let's hope it doesnot become one of the unfinished projects. ( My university semester exams are coming up , would have to complete this as fast as possible ). I am also learning DSA + STL and aim to learn basic python syntax before holidays so that I can focus my time on ML during them. It's so fucking overloaded that I have my doubts ::((

Trying the look on my phone

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When systems throttles your bandwidth during load tests and doesn't tell you, and you waste an afternoon investigating

I can't read a documentation 'til the end. I, on the first few parts, would be like: "Oh this documentation is so good. Why would someone need a tutorial for this?" And then suddenly: "What the fck is this sht? I don't understand life anymore." So I end up buying a course on Udemy cause all the other YouTube tutorials are rubbish.

i hate you, you and you AHHHHHH

This doesnt have to make sense.
This is a freakin rant for god's sake, not a pull request. I'm not tryna be the best ranter?? Dont mind this rant. Just scroll. B if u can only hear my scream right now from the other side of the world, it sure can cause another big bang.

F u, this sht, (oh ya it's profanity, i got no better term for what im feelin, gahh please rip my head off) and that too, and this one too, all of u

I HATE ALL OF YOU. I BLAME ALL OF YOU FOR ALL MY INCONSISTENCIES. YE, IM TIRED OF TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY. F THAT SHT COZ IT JUST RAISES EXPECTATIONS. I CAN'T EVEN MEET THE DEADLINES I SET FOR MYSELF.

The hell are ambitions and all that "dream life" they tryna sell. Those won't even matter when I can barely get my sht together. UGH. I haven't even seen my friends, the SUN, trees and all normal people things. Dang, I want fried chicken. I haven't had one for a while. I guess I should end this rant here and order one.

I must just be hungry, no?

Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass

Well, f*ck off Salesforce database system. :-)

All i ever want!

"feel free to choose which ever size pixel you prefer because you get the same great experience on both we don't set aside better features for the larger device"
-Google

What programming language did you study in high school? In my country they teach us Pascal for what ever reason, me coming from c++ I can t support it

Every time I check my old codes i start insulting my self..... How the fuck was i that stupid..... Still Stupid tho but i m progressing :D

I m learning to code by myself without any instructor :').... I wanna use unreal engine but i forgot how to code with cpp since i m only using C# now.. made winform apps and installing xamarin to learn about cross platform devloppment :)

Took me a day and a half deciding which ide to choose sht

It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.

When you accidentally send a screenshot of a chat to the person him/herself. Lot of shitload to get out off .. FYI I blocked the person. Would have to deal with it 1.5 months later when I actually meet her after vacations. I need luck :(

3ds Max Python API Documentation.

No function has a single word explaining what it does.

The Documentation seems like it is completely auto generated and while writing the API they forgot to add Docstrings....

My class team picks me for a competition.
My team tells me to do everything and doesn't give me an outline of what they want for the code or design.
They have 7 members. + me, 8.
I have to design and code the whole app on android.
Furthermore it was my first time with library stuff.
I had to develop from 10pm to 6 am with short rests in between. Almost no sleep.
It's impossible sht. I continue with it.
When it was time for school, I just went to school as per usual.
When it was the interview someone just had to roast the judges.
Our idea was very sophisticated; was to help track down elderly or child with a gps tracker and the app.
Didnt got in the qualifiers because of the leader being an asshole to the interviewers.

Started porting one application written in php to:
Golang(and some libraries to make certain sht simpler like GORM and Gorilla amongst a couple of others, most shit is STD shit already built in)

Java Spring(I know it well, but wanted to try this particular app in it, lots of boilerplate although the coded is solid AF)

.NET Core API, which I separated in a series of modules for the domain interface, the persistence logic, the actual api etc, I really dig it. It has a basic React frontend in Typescript whereas the other 2 versions are using the standard Go html/template package and the Twig interface for Spring.

My favorite thus far is Golang. I find it extremely easy to extend, the language reads good enough for a retard like myself to make sense of it fairly easy, really easy to test and experiment with it, any idea I get for something to add(say users and stuff) took me less than 30 mins to figure out while reading the actual documentation, as in the base documentation or just the source code.

I know the language is retard proof, and I am highly enjoying this. Not to say that the other two are bad, not at all, been using C# and Java for years now, but I highly appreciate being able to concentrate on functionality rather than all the fucking architectural boilerplate needed to run basic shit in the other two frameworks. Thus far Golang has been a breath of fresh air the likes Clojure gives me, while not even being a profound or mind blowing language in terms of features(since other than the interface{} and goroutines i can't think of shit) and have not reached a scenario in which I am stuck or dying to have generics one bit for the overall business logic.

The app is growing like crazy in terms of code since the original php application was huge to begin with, but dear me this shit is as simple as it can get without being too technical. Might move it to production once all usability tests pass and force the rest of the staff to learn it. I have one lead dev that damn near refuses to touch anything other than php, and a very eager to try shit out content administrator that comes from a Java and C# background.

all I want to say is how much I love go haha

So, for a few months, as my finals are comming near, I was wondering is it a good idea to re-format my SSD and put Ubuntu on my laptop.
Reason? So I can't play games on my laptop and focus more on coding.
Downloaded Ubuntu, format, install, I was happy.
Soon as it installed, I downloaded all the sht I need (slack, discord, VSCode, nodejs, pixie dust and unicorns...), and did a 10 minute setup so the OS feels "nice".
After few hours of "trying" to work, I noticed it runs rather slow (vscode keeps freezing, app I'm developing stutters in chrome...), so maybe Ubuntu is being a douche to my laptop.
Downloaded xubuntu, did mostly the same (less work has to be done since xubuntu feels nicer than ubuntu (thanks xfce (mouse <3)), and started doing the same.
I realised that I can't use any of my Logitech stuff (mouse, headset (and by "can't use, I mean I can't use the Logiteh gaming software to set the DPI, mouse speed, buttons, nor set up the headset, so they sound like jack shit)).
Frustrated, I went to fix all the stuff manualy, with no success.
Also, the OS froze 3 times completely.
Luckly, I made a whole Windows 10 backup so I've spent a few hours more just waiting for it to restore.
Oh, did I mention I can't tether my Android device internet via usb on ubuntu?
Do I have so much to learn or this is how my life is going to look like when I start working as a developer?
*insert Sad panda gif here*

Have you ever hit Ballmers Peak, only to fly past it but still keep coding? Sometimes it's an adventure looking at the code the next day. Three steps forward, one step back I say!

I am a pentester.
'I am a pentester.
'Iam a pentester/n/r"
'"Iamapentester\/n\/r-- '"''
'"'/>alert(1):</script>
%68%65%6c%6c%6f

It really bugs me out when your co workers start working on a project without telling you. Makes me feel undervalued. I would not complete their sloppy seconds this time for sure

Starting my first dev job next week (except for freelance work) and I'm crazy nervous that I'm going to make some huge mistake and look really stupid. Did anyone else have these fears before their first dev job and, if so, how'd you stay at least a little confident?

Being a university student who is about to complete his first year, is being a google certified mobile web specialist worth it?? ( More about my background : I have been into front end developement for around 4 months and this has been my first exposure to " production level coding ". I have been improving my JS skills and am currently learning Vue. I have a fair understanding of backend and am trying to build a full stack app using express, Vue and sockets . I have an interest in algorithms , dsa and machine learning although I an not able to devote my full time on it but hopefully would be able to do it in 2 to 3 months. I also have an interest in Linux and all. ). Please suggest something . Thanks in advance.
PS : I know my interests are very random , but I am just exploring my options and being a freshman , I am confused A lot . So trying to figure out something that will help me in future too

Working in a team for first time. Spent 8 hours just setting up the project locally - happy Friday!

how can i change my stupid username please ?

Getting my Code fix On my Phone! Bought a small laptop not long ago, few weeks, and within a couple of days, it threw a blue screen of death. What a crock pot of stewed sht. Now, thankfully, I am pain-stakingly coding on my Android. The good news is, my Asus should be here any day!

So here's the thing.
I'm a junior-developer in a small company and have quite few experience working on big company projects. We have this old massive project which is not very well written. At all. A couple weeks ago I finished small cms project which lets you deploy sell sites. And now my manager assigned me to refactor this old project which is thousand times more complex then the one I developed to use the same concept as mine.
I have no experience managing other programmers, I don't know how are you supposed to separate tasks and how to plan all project till the end. I've never worked in a team where you have lead developer and who gives you technically explained tasks. Mostly it's just "place a button here to export this graph. And please be fast, it shouldn't take more then an hour." when in reality you only spend hour trying to figure out what tables to use and how this graph was created in the first place.

I'm overwhelmed and totally stuck.

Told my friends about this awesome app. It used to be my safe place earlier, but oh well... Kinda happy and sad about it at the same time. Hope they don't recognize my handle 😅

For those of you who DO use PHP, regardless of whether you like it or not, have you ever used something like PEAR? And what are your thoughts?
I'm writing a fairly basic internal web app for our PMs and I'm looking for something similar to npm to save me some time/effort. I should also mention that my supervisor insists it be in PHP...

Ugh, fuck the SSRS web service. Spent all week trying to consume the service with PowerShell, doesn't make it any easier when there are undocumented behaviours. TypeName property has to be Type, for instance, when creating a search condition, TOTALLY contrary to the documentation.

Want to change the data source for a report you uploaded? Gl;hf! Back to it next week, think I'm close to having a working deployment script...so close.

!rant

How do you find a list of your favourited rants on the Android app? I can't for the life of me find it.

Making sht for Family Guy production. I will settle for South Park if Family Guy doesn't want me.

I truly believe that a back end needs to know about front end as much as a front end needs to know about back end.
And a more serious belief is that project managers / owners need to know about both. Thank you.

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