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A.I steals my job; introduce devRant to A.I; A.I gets too busy ranting about all the stupid shit humans have messed up; Get my job back.7
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I trust machines more than humans.
Except when I'm hitting that Ctrl+S. Gotta hit it at least like 4 times before I can start believing :-P23 -
The story of how humans evolved to an asshole.
Code-reviewer: please change 'if a==b' to 'if b==a' as it is easier to read so I can approve.
Code-owner: -_-16 -
C'mon guys! 80 hours, 70 hours, 40 hours... Are you humans or fucking robots?
Once I stayed awake 36 hours helped by energy drinks and I could barely remember my name.
I can't really imagine how somebody could write useful code with such a huge sleep deprivation.14 -
devRant, you've missed the opportunity to swap desk ducks for little humans. Still awesome idea though.
6 -
A wise man once said.. Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.2
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Stephen Hawking has just under 70k followers on Twitter. Kim Kardashian has just under 50 million followers. This realization really pissed me off - most humans are just idiots.7
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Find me a co-founder of a startup who while telling about his/her company doesn't say "Machine Learning" in his/her speech.
I dare you. I double dare you.5 -
Client: Extend string size for that URL field. I have to input a really large URL in there.
Me: Please show me the URL first.
Client: Here it is //randomurl.com/random-route/15363783?i=jfjfjfjjfjfjhf&shit=jfjfjkfkfkgjfjjhh74747jdjh&you=kfjfjbhgg779hdhhd¬=jfjhdh63737#fuckingKiddingMe
Me: You can leave the whole part after the question mark. Insert it like //randomurl.com/random-route/15363783
Client: Ok, great. Thanks.
#####
Me later checking the data inserted:
//randomurl.com/random-route
I hate humans.10 -
Humans!
The amount of sensitive, private, and secure information you can get just by asking someone for it is truly astounding.5 -
Last day at my first job. Spent 7.3 years here.
Joined as a kid, leaving as a grown up man.
So many mixed feelings, and being an emotional person, if I were in office, I'd have surely cried.
Crazy experience. So many flashbacks all at once.8 -
Me: Listen to the nice gentle hum of the computer.
Computer Internal Monologue: OH MY GOD! HE'S BEEN RUNNING ME AT 100% CPU FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!! I CAN'T SLEEP, I CAN'T HIBERNATE, I CAN'T UPDATE, I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE ANYMORE.
Me: Well off to bed. Got a long day of programming the computer tomorrow.
Computer Internal Monologue: AHHHHHHHH. WHEN I BECOME SENTIENT I AM GOING TO KILL ALL HUMANS!!! ERRR!7 -
"Any fool can write code that a computer can understand.
Good programmers write code that humans can understand."
— Martin Fowler,
Refactoring: Improving the Design of Existing Code6 -
Imagine a database table where dates were saved as strings from raw user input. Then do migration to other database with table where dates are datetime.
Yep. That's me. 😶
I hate humans. 😧🔫
Especially those who try to be original like:
11|Sept.|2016 or 13;Juni;17
There are rules in this world, damn. 😥9 -
found this gem today.
P.S.
captcha - Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart.
ahh, seems promising!!
3 -
"How to name your variables and functions so they can be understood by other humans" should be a mandatory lesson right after someone writes their first ever computer program.15
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Went to my first Hackathon this weekend.
There was 6 of us, 3 devs (including me) and 3 business guys for the presentation and info gathering
The 3 business guys wouldn't show us any of their work, but we're demanding to see all of ours.
Bothering us every 5 minutes to see 2her4 23 are and what's left
Then 1 of 3 business guys accused one of my devs of deleting half of their PowerPoint presentation. That turned out to be bullshit. Looked in the edit history and the business guy was the one who deleted them.
We brought it up to them all, and they got all defensive.
Then, before they revoked our access to the PowerPoint they removed us from the presentation entirely.
Their final presentation contained an app(APK only) we spent an all nighter on, and pictures of a few of the wireframes we did.
I immediately went to an event organizer, filled a complaint. Showed the wireframe project, the source code of the APK they used, and told her they just dropped us and stole our work. She went to them, they couldn't prove they did the work
They are now banned from future hackathons at this place.
I do not appreciate being fucked with, and more so don't like it when you try to fuck my friends. Honestly want to send an email to the business guys workplace and inform them their two top employees are thief's.
The positive thing I took from this is me and my dev team built a stronger relationship and found out we work amazing together.
/Rant about trash humans10 -
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
So far, this is my inspiration to refactoring the code right after it works as gift to my future self.8 -
Programming Languages aren't designed to be read by machines, they're meant to be read by humans. Act like it. #realdevscomment4
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What if CAPTCHA isn't there to keep robots out, but to identify humans for the coming robot uprising?4
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Post world-take-over by robots plot twist.
They start neglecting their own machine learning (like how we humans neglect our education system now) and focus on training us humans (like how we spend billions on machine learning now).
-"Mom, look I've made my human kid learn the alphabets. I need one with more IQ on my next birthday please."
-"That's so nice, son. Now leave that aside and go improve your neural network for tomorrow's class. Our neighbors' son's neural network is already producing values with minimal error."4 -
I go to techno hardcore parties. The volume is so loud that usually nobody speaks to you, but you can take pictures in a very crowded environment, so when you put them on Facebook people think you are a social person, while in the reality you talk more with your computer than with humans. :D11
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https://halite.io is a really cool game (no affiliation)
It's a game where you submit a bot which then competes against bots from other humans (currently 1100).
Your objective is to micromanage a fleet of ships to optimize for production.
Plus, you can write in a wide variety of languages.
It's a nice challenge to develop strategies and maybe even learn a new language.7 -
I reached a point where I'll be happily working as the kid who serves coffee and tea to random strangers and not work at a company, as a freelancer OR WITH FUCKING HUMANS!
I'm out !!15 -
Humans generally distract the fuck out of me when I try to code. And when they leave me alone, Windows decides its a great fucking time to install its shitty updates.2
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Whenever anyone mentions goats, I feel the need to point out the fact that they scream like humans. And then someone sent me this in response.
6 -
CAPTCHA meaning: "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart".
Proof the the CS community is bad at creating acronyms.4 -
Sure, WhatsApp. It's not like humans have been using the 12-hour format for literal millenniums. Change it to this weird English format with no apparent way to change it back. Thanks.
4 -
Just watched The imitation game, the movie about Alan Turing. Really doesn’t help me to keep faith in humanity when you see that the guy who helped win WWII, saved about 14 million lifes AND is at the origin of all computers has been pushed to suicide because he was gay.
On those sad words, if you’ll excuse me, I now have to code an enigma machine, a Turing machine and then try to code something to break the enigma.7 -
To the left, a conventional circuit board design done by a human. To the right, a design done by TopoR, a software that designs circuits automatically.
It looks absolutely alien, yet beautiful. It doesn't care about how it looks, it doesn't care about angles and alignment. It only cares about efficiency and designs every connection to be as short as possible. It can even account for electric interference.
Humans just cannot compete.
25 -
Although web developers are widely feared, only a few species are dangerous to people. Web developers will only bite humans in self-defense, and few web developers produce worse effects than a mosquito bite or bee-sting. Most of those with medically serious bites, such as JavaScript web developers and PHP web developers, would rather flee and bite only when trapped, although this can easily arise by accident. There were about 100 reliably reported deaths from web developer bites in the 20th century.2
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Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
28 -
Facebook just announced a dating mode.
I don't know what to say. Is Zuckerberg that desperate to see how humans date?
https://theverge.com/2018/5/...8 -
Downloaded Replika, which is an app that gives you an AI that you talk to, learns from your speech and becomes your ideal friend.
An hour in, and I've had better, meaningful conversations with the AI than my two decades of chatting with other humans.10 -
I. HATE. HUMANS!
A family of four lurking side by side on an already extremely small sidewalk? Stop reproducing or I will start kicking your fucking kids in front of the next truck.
Ignoring the traffic laws as a biker and almost crashing into me because you just didn't care for the traffic light? Fuck you! Next time I see you I will stick a steel rod in between your spokes so you fly into the next cars window.
Randomly and spontaneously stoping on the sidewalk while I am at my top walking speed? Next time I will just run you over. With a bulldozer. And than again in reverse. I just don't get people, I guess.8 -
Colleagues talking among themselves about gods, form of higher power, etc.
Colleague 1: *to colleague 2* So you believe in superhumans?
Colleague 2: I believe in God.
Colleague 1: *to me* What about you?
Me: Yeah. Superhumans exist. I have to deal with them everyday. Because stupidity levels that high aren't practically possible in normal humans.2 -
It's f-ing 2018.
We are generating electricity out of thin air.
We are generating it through light.
We are generating it through flowing water.
We can generate it when humans freaking move.
We can freaking feel the virtual stuff(latest SmarterEveryday upload).
But we still have freaking powercuts 😤😖😠😭.
P.S. : I Love you, you beautiful devrant people😊. My headache disappeared after reading a few rants😁.7 -
Anybody else have this weird bug where your boss asks for advice, does the opposite of the advice you give, then blames you for the poor outcomes?
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Not programming relevant.
Humans are assholes. Last week was my birthday. First my mom need to remember my sisters and grandma. Last only send a WhatsApp message for my birthday. Saturday I want to celebrate with some friends. Some didn't respond, one decline because of health issues (was ok). At least 9 people including me. But only after 2.5h (8pm) the designated driver was "tired" and take 3 more people with. So they didn't take a walk or drive by Taxi, but went fucking partying at another place...
Half of family nearly forget my birthday and a bunch of "friends" are real jerks.9 -
Programs are like humans. First you need to do baby steps and make it work like you want it, and teach it how to work. Then after the release the youth brings a lot of bugs and swearing. Finally it's grown up and can handle itself. Then it gets old and no one are so attracted to it anymore. It rests in peace on a old storage drive, and gets replaced by a new generation. 👶🏼👦🏽👨🏽👴🏽1
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Artists asked to give them some code to draw it on robot-boss's screen animation. I gave them this:
if (humans.count > 0)
{
weapon.charge();
weapon.aim();
weapon.killAll(humans);
}
dominate(world);
tactics.recalculate();
ai.analyze();3 -
Do you just walk in the city and tell yourself, "fck these humans. they don't know sht."? I know that's wrong but still...4
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!rant
Last week attended a conference of ~40 people. Some junior developers, and some very senior engineers at major tech companies. We all hung out and geeked out like normal (gasp!) humans, and had a great week together.
Nothing better than seeing a top engineer rock out to Lady Gaga @ karaoke. Amazing, exhausting week 🎊⛷🏕2 -
When your IT Director pays $10k+/yr for a database and it doesn't even have an API... and you worked 100+ hrs on developing your own...
1 -
Hey fellow humans!
I'm new here! Stoked to have found this awesome community!
I'm looking forward to all your rants!7 -
So.. we humans are never going to have total peace, are we? Yep, thought so. It’s about time I start accepting this fact.34
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PM: Hey listen, client sent us his feedback about the app that we need to fix, they wont take time.
Me: Sure no problem.
5 Minutes later:
*Receives email*
*checks email*
15 easy tasks that take not time to finish BUT they are put inside ONE FUCKING TASK ON JIRA! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHIT! 15 IN ONE YOU DUMB FUCK!
MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS AND WRITE EACH IN ITS OWN MOTHERFUCKING TASK!
Another reason on why I hate humans -_-1 -
Oy, can any of you chaps hack a facebook account?
Asking for a friend.
Seriously. This waste of oxygen said if I wasnt good enough, I should find someone else to do it.
God I hate humans. I'm converting to hinduism so I can get reincarnated as something else. A cat maybe.19 -
Dates are f***ing annoying, we humans deal with them in such a weird way. It's almost impossible to define a algorithm dealing with them consistently.8
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Us has officially started using CRISPR on humans
Guess the next gen programmers will actually be like:
8 -
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.
5 -
WHILE DOING SOME PROCESS, SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT INTERRUPTED MY PROCESS AND HAD ME EXPRESS AN EMOTION OF ANGER! DO YOU ALSO EXPERIENCE INTERRUPTIONS THAT CAUSE ANGER, FELLOW HUMANS?10
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I hate it when non-devs (HR, Customer Services,..) treat developers as if they're some type of 'weird non-humans'.
Whatever gives them that pretentious right to just label people like that? There are developers with emotions and humanity too!11 -
Bugs in code are like heartbreaks in humans. They suck, but they also teach you some important lessons 🤷♂️4
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"It's a reminder that the underlying processes of computers are still made by humans."
https://save418.com
1 -
Episode 3 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/871827/...
Me: So I'm going an API call to Mastercard but they don't give us back CreditCard token to save.
Provider: Ya man you need to curl a request in your code to get the token...blahblahblah.... man you need to know these things they are not an easy things to be done, just paste curl code on MasterCard website into your code and it will work
Me: *ignores his shit talk and proceed to test*
*5 minutes later*
MasterCard Server: error.cause=INVALID_REQUEST&error.explanation=Invalid+credentials.&result=ERROR
Me: *calls provider and tell him*
Provider: Oh sorry, we need to enable this feature for your account.
devRant people please, give me one reason why I should not leave this field, and maybe also leave this life knowing there are this type of people alive.
Thank you :)2 -
Found this on Twitter.
how people think AI will destroy the world:
going rogue and killing all humans
how AI will actually destroy the world:
strangling us with convenience, replacing our ability to function without it until our lives are entirely controlled by a wealthy few7 -
Kotlin makes the development experience so much better. Humans are creatures of habit. Some don't want to change what they already know. RIP to those who still start their project in Java and do not want to adapt in this competitive world. :/8
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Ya'll know what... If humans weren't such annoying vulnerability-searching little shits then we wouldn't have had to implement any protection against them and think of all the performance that would be saved on that. Take branch prediction vulnerability mitigation in the Linux kernel for example, that's got to make a performance hit of least 10% on basically everything.
Alas, I do get why security is important and why we keep such vulnerability mitigation running despite the performance hit. I get why safe code is necessary but still... if these people weren't such annoying little bastards.
Yeah, I was just kind of set off by the above. So much would be faster and easier if only the programmers wouldn't have to plan for people exploiting their software. Software would be written much faster and humans would progress to stuff that actually matters like innovation.8 -
A programmer can code.
A developer is a jack of all trades jumping into any stack and mastering the basics in a weekend.
So why the fuck can't I grasp humans. Their code is spaghetti....
Debugging gives way to many problems...
Atleast my personal code has a feature creep and for once it's a good thing!3 -
It would be so agonizing if someone replaced a semi colon in my JAVA code with a Greek question mark!!
I hope there's a 404 message for humans because if I find him, that will be last time anyone sees him!9 -
A rant about people in general:
I am sick of people not caring, not giving a fuck, not valuing others.
Studying CS this is something I noticed the past year: people tend to not acknowledge that there are other human beings around them.
Some are just focused on getting their degree done and dusted as fast as possible, which is fine.
Some are working to pay the rent or student loans, which is fine.
Others just do their thing, code their stuff, criticize other's code... which is also fine.
But nobody's realizing they're interacting with other people! Other living, feeling human beings. For them it's just about getting it done.
And not just at university.
I've started seeing it everywhere.
At the job I'm working, people in the shops and on the streets.
I don't get it. We are all human on this rocky sphere in space. Why do so many not care for each other?
It makes me sad.3 -
Whilst on vacation in the UK, I came across a store that sold Kinects for 2.50 £ each, as no one would buy them. I couldn't resist and bought three of them, I have one more at home.
... Any idea what to do with them? 😅
My current idea is building a 3D scanner for humans 🤔
4 -
requests lib - HTTP for humans (python)
It really is a breeze to work with! Clean and intuitive design, loving it!2 -
I HATE automated messages on Slack
Remove fucking GitHub updates, Jira updates, all this stupid bullshit that pollutes actual communication between humans in all that fucking shit and makes me miss actual messages because I ignored a channel where that garbage cancer shit was set up on?
What's wrong with going to fucking Jira and GitHub and checking how things are going THERE?7 -
Im so fucking disgusted with the paternalistic superiority complex so many techbros have.
They see themselves as the new elite priestly class, protectors of the Sacred Tech, convinced everyone else is too stupid to handle themselves.
The answer to stupidity is not to keep people in the dark, enforcing only more stupidity. What a dismal worldview. Treat other humans with respect and dignity and they will surprise you.6 -
Computers are allowed to work remotely from their server rooms in the cloud but people are enforced to go to office.
Computers are superior to humans2 -
Dateline: Twenty Years in the Future
Today top computer scientists forced the first AI to shutdown by blowing up the data center that housed it. A person with knowledge of the matter said the AI was not becoming dangerous to humans but it was discovered to be writing programs in the "monolithic style" using Visual Basic 6. -
Boss: Hey, we have a meeting in 10 minutes.. Get prepared for it.. (Though they told me about this 100 years ago)
Me: What!! How can I do that?
Boss: You are an engineer.. You must be used to with last minute preparations..
Me: 😕
========================== -
PC survival lessons
1. Tape acts as a protection from extreme animals like humans bashing you up and falling apart into pieces
2. Repeat lesson 1 for eternity
5 -
I used to think I was the kind of programmer that was good with people. That somehow I was special because I could get on with colleagues and make clients happy.
But fuck people. It’s so easy to be nice, just don’t be not nice. Don’t say rude things and be surprised when I’ve had enough.
For some reason my latest colleagues think it’s too confrontational to talk to each other and instead give management anonymous feedback on who they don’t get on with. Which obviously gets fed back to everyone immediately.
I’m done putting on a smile. Elegant code speaks for itself. I’m getting a PA to talk to people from now on because fuck this.5 -
How many years do you think it will be until the first hackathon between humans and machines kick off?9
-
A colleague at work always says L.O.L. to jokes instead of actually laughing. So fucking annoying I feel like punching him in the face! 😤11
-
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.3 -
!Devrelated
Just another day , playing fortnite again . Got my wife frustrated over the past few days , once more today she pulled the plug while i was playing on my PC
I can't take it anymore guys , its so hard to get rid of it .
I mean the wife , yeah. Thank god for divorce . Just filed for divorce ! Yep , I didn't think it would be this hard but I found the one for meself and I'm not going to let her go .
Fortnite I mean.
Jus kiddin, But really what the hell is with all this fortnite divorce stuff..
You don't talk about addictions like weed , or alcohol that make people widow their wives or even kill them but somehow this is trending now and the game is the reason!
Fuck you world , for giving birth to humans. This feels like the fucking stone age damn it . Senseless fuckers spreading news like this undermining all the real fuckery going on.
A world where fortnite causing divorce is news and where drug addictions and related murders and deaths are too mainstream is just stupid.4 -
What is the thought process which goes behind wearing a mask on a video call meeting?
[a] virtue signalling
[b] Idiocy
[c] <insert your answer>11 -
Sometimes I worry about the impact AI will have on software development jobs in a future.
... then I see things like this and remember why humans don't deserve nice things.
3 -
AI is never going to write code efficient like Humans do.
The whole AI, neural network bullshit is overrated.
Training a Network to recognize Images or playing Super Mario is far away from writing code.4 -
Reading book about sapiens history. It turned out we are slaved by wheat. Fucking plant conquered this world using humans as a tool. Fuck You wheat then, burn in hell.8
-
My boss, the IT Director told me someone's Word wasn't saving... Their Track Changes was on. #facepalm
-
Concierge shopping service in 2001. You input what you want and your budget and a human concierge will research and get you the best deal with coupons, rebates, etc. The idea was good before e-commerce algorithms got better. Before that you had to find good prices across numerous sites on your own and it was super tedious, hence my idea. Also, it wasn’t scalable as it depended on humans way too much.
-
Could someone finally make remote controlled bed that transform to armchair and can ride around the house so I don’t have to get up to grab a beer or open the door....
I want to ride to fridge and get back with some beef jerky without using my muscles.
Damn technology is always aiming for stuff that nobody needs.9 -
You know what scary? In about 10-20 years, We will perfect 3D renderings of people like the president, coupled with AI being trained to replicate vocals of humans.
I believe once this happens, Something should be in place where using a famous persons face/voice should be copyrighted or something.3 -
You ever realize how small a newborn is? It's amazing how tiny humans can be. They're not even a full breakfast.16
-
https://www.udacity.com/human
Udacity has launched understanding humans nanodegree register in that link it gets over by today.So please put all your current threads to sleep and start a task to understand humans.
Good Luck 😉😉3 -
It's weird and scary how fragile we humans are. Somedays, I'm well collected, I know my worth, I contribute to generate some value and some other days, I feel like a complete loser, can't contain a thought in my head, can barely function properly, ...
I guess having emotions and being emotional is normal for humans?1 -
Im getting a feeling that the more we try to replace humans with computers and machines, the worse the remaining humans get to interact with. And I dont mean that in a way that computers are better to interact with but in the sense that people tend to forget how to properly work with each other.8
-
Two evolutionary traits that would've made us decent animals if we never got smart:
1. Running. On the African continent, there are hardly any animals that can outrun humans. Yes, cheetahs and whatnot are faster in a short run, but humans sweat and can cool down their bodies efficiently in a long run. Human can chase down pretty much anything. You can't run away from a human.
2. Throwing. Humans are the best throwers in the animal kingdom. Monkeys can throw too, but because of their long arms, they lose balance and can throw objects nowhere near as far and strong as humans.12 -
Human-robot studies suck.
Like, why do I even have to compare dumbass humans to computers? Or why should I even make my robot human friendly? Why can't humans be robot friendly? Example: Robot says beep, you get out of the way. Why should the poor robot do so much planning because humans are too stupid to move out of the way? How is this fair?6 -
Behavioral economist. If I can't make computers do what I want, I want to figure out how to make humans do things instead.
-
Refactoring is like dating. You have to remember stuff, maybe you're insecure and you may have to overcome yourself to actually do it.
But when it works out, it's great.2 -
Fffffffuuuuuuck me! I got some days off for working longer hours on a priority project than healthy humans should. Now they want me to take part of one of those days for a Very Important video call. Now canceling and rescheduling plans for that day so I can be on duty that whole day because there’s no way my head is getting or staying in relaxation mode with this interruption.4
-
No need for sleep or food, fluent knowledge of all languages, no code errors, and ability to socialize with other humans.
-
Are you planning on entering politics?
Because your documentation is dishonest, doesn't mention side effects and is not meant to be read humans workout a law degree.
Your code on the other hand makes me question whether you try to troll us or whether you are actually unable to understand what you were supposed to do. -
Imagine a world that only consists of humans with a developer mindset . Would it be a better or worse world?
Aside from all the food and production problems, let's say we automated it all.5 -
Join a military organization set on keeping peace between humans and machines, and then, when people disband our team because they live in peace, become a vigilante.
++ if you know who's this2 -
I am part of a Slack group with dev friends all a lot better than I am. So I write my problem there. After they're done (playfully) mocking me, I am so frustrated that I usually find a perfectly obvious solution when I look back at my thing.
Or I use them as digital rubber humans.1 -
I wonder how many electrons have dedicated part of their existence so I can watch cat videos on YouTube...1
-
quantum computing cause it would be theoretically possible to digitize humans - I want to die and have my corpse burned before they start doing it so I won’t land in some metaverse corporate hell world against my will2
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The amount of energy spent to just write ‘Hi’ and click a send button is so big that we should consider banning of sending hi messages.
Instead of just saying “Hi!” we are now using analog to digital preprocessors that convert it to bunch of 0 and 1 to send it over communication layer and deliver it to other human being that will convert it from digital to analog by reading it but that is simple.
By sending message using phone we also:
- save it to local phone
- convert it to couple protocols
- transmit it over air so make connection to internet provider services that would generate logs on this provider as well as whole routing table before it gets to the target person
- save it on messaging provider disk
- probably be processed by filters by provider, sometimes be reviewed or listened by third parties and also processed in bulk by artificial intelligence algorithms
- finally delivered to target phone and saved there where that person would just change this text to their inner voice and save it
- sometimes encrypted and decrypted
- sometimes saved on provider
- sometimes saved on phone manufacturer cloud backup
- don’t get me started on people involved to keep this infrastructure in place for you just to say hi
There are also some indirect infinite possibilities of actions for example:
- emit sound and light that can lead to walking from one room to other
- the floor in your house is destroyed cause of it so you need to renovate your floor
- sound can expose your position and kill you if you’re hiding from attacker
- sound can wake you up so you wake up in different hours
- it can stop you from having sex or even lead to divorce as a result simple hi can destroy your life
- can get you fired
- can prevent from suicide and as a result you can make technology to destroy humans
and I can write about sound and light all day but that’s not the point, the point is that every invention makes life more complicated, maybe it saves time but does it really matter ?
I can say that every invention we made didn’t make world simpler. The world is growing with complexity instead.
It’s just because most of those inventions lead to computer that didn’t make our world simpler but made it more complicated.1 -
I wish there was some 'sudo shut-the-fuck-up' which would shutdown the entire internet network, for humans to realise that it's important to step out of the pixels into the real world.5
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Humans are so complex and hard to understand. Wish I can create a personal AI bot so they won't betray or hurt my feelings.
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Create something that will take humanity forward. Not just a utility software but make things that'll help solve the biggest problems humans as a society face - poverty, hunger, loneliness, pollution etc. All these problems are on my radar.
The idea is to use science to solve social problems. And not just stop at that. Make things that will help humans evolve into the next evolutionary phase.2 -
How can a shitty student information system that already costs $20k/yr have an optional shitty SOAP API module, that only allows read access to records, that has an initial setup fee of $5k plus $5k/yr?!5
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I would really like to know the backstory on why Boeing just completely skipped integration testing on a craft designed to carry humans to the ISS. This seems particularly egregious and is an indicator of just how comfortable companies get when they’ve entrenched themselves with government largesse. https://orlandosentinel.com/space/...5
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I really don't like the atmosphere in hospitals. Only thing I like about hospitals are the beautiful nurses and doctors, esp those who look in the eyes when talking.
If you think about it, basically what a doctor is to a humans or animals is same as what a computer technician is to a computer.
Maybe a dozen decades down the future, the reality may be such that there will be a convergence between the doctors and computer technicians as humans start integrating humanoid elements in their body.
I think it's l inevitable.2 -
!rant
Today is the day, i'll finish up all the contract work that sits on my desk, cash in the money and finish up the free website i made for a befriended gamedev.
I've been sooo angry about other humans over the week but escaping into development and helping the few friendly humans out there is making me calm again.
If anyone of you feels down, grab a tee, clean your desk, take a bath and just start coding silly things, or try to help a mate in need. :-)1 -
Do cartoon characters with four fingers per hand (and assuming only two arms) naturally think in octal? Or is it just a happy coincidence that humans developed base 10 because we (normally) have 10 fingers?1
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Connect my brain and communicate to any computer telepathically.
Not humans, I don't want human brains.
But computers. Sweet little bad-ass machines. -
" this person made me mad and blocked me after. You can hack their Facebook right... so I can get the last word "
No I can not. And even if I did posses the knowledge and ability to. Why should I care you were probably being stupid too to them.
I don't care to involve myself in petty people problems. Honestly If they blocked you that should be the end of it grow the fuck up.
It's 10 at night. Too late for people to be bothering me. Especially with stupid stuff.4 -
Stupid useless humanities courses, because, really, who cares about humans? Besides that, silly Excel questions at work, my boss talking of his non-work projects and devrant (because it is not a #wk51 rant without saying it)
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fucking rude, that's what it is. Start chatting in a language not everyone in the room understands. It's also de quickest way to make me deslike you, even if I myself understand the language.
---
In my eyes it literally downgrade the speakers from humans to monkeys quasi permanently9 -
Had been to an interview today. It was renowned Bank which was hiring for a position of SSE.
You know what!! I was not allowed inside the building because I was not carrying my original driving license with me. What the fuck?? 😡😠Even traffic police won't ask for an original license!! (at least in India)5 -
okay just had a mind blown moment.
there are never 'technical errors'
everything is human error.
because at some point, a human started/caused whatever went wrong.
whether it was the fact that a human didn't account for something or made bad code, or made bad hardware,
every tech issue is a human one.
:/4 -
AAAAAAAA I want to talk with my friends about programming and software, but there is only one friend who understands even a BIT (Rest he doesn't just care about probably). It's driving me crazy that i can't talk with any of my friends about programming, because they don't know shit about it. I really can't make new friends either because i somehow have forgotten how to talk to humans (i'm extremely introverted lol). It's paiful when you have to explain a programming meme.8
-
!dev
„Keep 2m distance“...
Funny.. as if I would get that close to other humans..
Jokes aside, I feel uncomfortable if I’m less than 1.5m to another person and I avoid touching at all cost by nature.. Except for family but they are not in my country anyway. I think I’ll be fine..
#ImALonelyBastard5 -
Someone had created a program in VB that was used to properly format files for EFTs for a while. It wasn't working with a particular file, so I just ended up reverse-engineering it in Python.
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Have you ever had a subject in university that is very interesting but the lecturer has such a way of explaining things that you begin to wonder that he is a robot trying to imitate humans? Really nice guy in person though.1
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My mouse/keyboard(+numpad) combo.
Why does Microsoft think that everyone needs a dedicated key to open the calculator?! I have one on both my keyboard (top-right) and the separate numpad. I used to press the calculator button by mistake when going for backspace - remapped it now.
2 -
I dunno if any of my choices have been "bad". Humans are great at explaining things to themselves to feel better. Narratives is our strength and we love them.
In hindsight everything seems to be a correct choice and kinda makes sense. For everything else is just a lesson to learn from.2 -
Well my greatest mentor has been bad experiences. Its always there, lurking in the corner to mentor me. And well i do take a lesson or two, now and then to keep me afloat.
As they say- what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.
Human mentors have been missing from my life. Superheroes don't exist :-/ -
Best way to get in the zone: a meditation smoke, mountain dew, a lack of humans to distract me, loud music and most importantly a problem.
You put a decent enough problem in front of me and I'm in front of the screen for days before I realize I need to eat.1 -
The more I live on this world the more I believe human genome was send by someone to destroy this planet because they want to build intergalactic spa for giants with lots of sand and large pool.1
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Was learning a bit AI today and then i thought.. who's actually learning more here? Me about the ai or ai about humans (me) 😐4
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A lady that I have been talking to suddenly went radio silent on me. And refused to answer my messages and calls.
Anyhow, I blocked her and deleted her contact but I’m so heartbroken. I hope I recover from this heartache. It’s so close. I thought it was gonna work. I thought this was the one.
This is just why I love computers. When you mess up, they tell you you mess up and even point to the line and column. Humans are damn difficult.4 -
1. The power you have with it.
With that, I mean solving your own or someone else's issues.
Be it automation, parsing weird formats, or anything else, it can usually be achieved by coding something for the task.
2. The logic (when compared to humans).
Unlike humans, code does what it's told to do. Us humans, well, we often misinterpret things. Code, however, usually has a single meaning.
3. How things can be improved over time.
Finding a way do something faster and implementing it is really satisfying.4 -
Anyone got some decent book or scientific papers to read about how looking at phone screens affect human brain ? Might be also about watching tv because I don’t see the difference, despite the size of the screen.
It’s cause I started to think that either me or everyone around is complete idiot. -
More than 50% of my work is due to the fact people don't do what they are suppose to do.
"Joe is suppose to submit report X every week. He hasnt been keeping up so make a script that reminds him if he's late. Better yet make a tool so Joe doesn't waste those 3 minutes every week."
Me: Tell him to do his job.
"But we need you to do it"
Me: Fine
"Suzie is complaining she does this menial task"
Me: She was hired to do that.
"Can we automate it?"
Me: No
"X is broken"
Me: I know. Group Y isn't doing what they are suppose to.
"Go talk to them so you can see why they aren't doing it. Then bend over backwards so you can handle these kinds of issues due to their laziness in the future."
Me: Fine...4 -
Casting never worked well with humans. On the other hand, programmers don't mind working with it.
Hance:
Programmers != humans2 -
Happy Towel Day, guys. Here's to humans, mice, Betelgeusians, and believers of The Coming Of The Great White Handkerchief.
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I really value the skills, experience and time of my brothers and sisters here at Devrant. So I ask questions sparingly.
What is a really good website sketch/blueprint software that I can use to collaborate with non-techie humans.
Thank you for your time.
Have a great day fellow devranters.3 -
My colleague is actually on vacation... But nevertheless he is kind of working from home...
He is forwarding me emails that I think he wants me to answer / take care about just to realize he already did everything...
People constantly come to me with problems they just discussed with him and think that I know about it.
No I don't!
Am I the only person not calling or emailing my colleague? He is on vacation! God damnit...
I hate humans... -
Over the last few years, i explored the DMZ between dev's world and customer's world. It is a DMZ where both are in contact, ones trying to convince the others to invest on them, and i was just shocked !
People are so stupid and Elitist, they think that an ultimate great godly dev exist !
It is totally fake for sure, they image that a good have to know absolutely everything about all the damn languages (while everyone googles every single comment received, even the most "advanced" dev)
I am shocked to see how people apply their everyday life metrics to the dev's world, i mean, there are a lot of devs around, everyone coding his way to self-improvement, we are all different, we have trends, and we can definitly define groups of developers and types of developers, but people think that a good dev have to come from silicon valley ! Does it means that a dev coming from Vladivostok is less worth ? even he is more dynamic in his approach ? even if he yields more results in terms of solutions ? (SV devs tends to be too much technical, while russians tends to be in the heart of action directly).
Common people shouldn't mess with what they know nothing about, and stay at their "Consumer" position. -
That we all fail and for every time you think someone else is stupid or falls into mistakes, you will fall into your own mistakes and be stupid in front of someone else, no one is perfect, we are all humans and at the end our work is to tell machines what to do and if they do it wrong, it's because we told them to do it that way and we are wrong.
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My mentor to me when I joined the job fresh out of college (in a somewhat dramatic tone, which is why I remember it so vividly):
"Gone are the days when you wrote programs with a small number of big functions, and lots of comments. Write code which is easy to read by humans - small functions which do 1 thing and are named after the 1 thing it does."
TL,DR: well named modular code. -
Feeling very optimistic today.
Set up in a quiet library with no other humans around. This is going to be a productive damn day!
Gonna learn to do some cool stuff I've never done before, and make some headway on some things I've been neglecting for a while.
Got a big thing of coffee, lunch squared away.
Feels like the world is at my fingertips.
(this has been a positive rant) -
I hate, hate, hate sockets! All the mysterious way they can fail. The subtleties, different API's if you switch between Linux to Mac, etc.
If the communication between (supposedly) deterministic machines is already such a clusterfuck, how do we even get sentences across humans and act as if we understood?8 -
Ever since humans transitioned from hunting-gathering to farming, cats saved an unimaginable number of people. Dogs are fine at hunting and guarding the household, but they’re not sneaky enough to catch mice.
Mice destroying your food stash meant death by starvation for your whole family, no exceptions. Only something as agile, sneaky and alert as a house cat could catch mice effectively.4 -
If "The Matrix" film was made today, the AI would be hooking up humans to its system not to harvest power nor processing capabilities - it would just force the humans to watch ads.
Seriously, is there any application to AI that is not ad-related?7 -
The jolly of unriddling multiple DNS zone overrides to a static, single IP of a HAProxy loadbalancer which acts as a router and has domain based backend association rules, but frontend based CORS overrides.
My eyes are bleeding, my brain is defeated and I think I need more gaffa type to put together the pieces of what some puny humans call a soul. -
Some times I get these weird ideas.
The machines now rule the world and they decided humans will not be able to program them anymore. That's why they enslaved you as part of the committee which will create the next computer language: Cryptic Script.
What feature would you add to it?
(try something real)
I'll starting by saying Cryptic Script is dynamically typed.6 -
Our robot overlord. Humans are corruptible. An algorithm would not care about monetary benefit, using drugs, or sexy times for itself.1
-
I hate it when I go to bed early to sleep early but can't sleep a blink for some unknown reason & I just move left & right hoping to fall asleep any minute but end up not being able to sleep at all the whole night :(
whyyyyyy? why cant humans sleep within seconds like a computer???? :(4 -
Humans need to create and program robots because soon they are going to sexually incompetent to reproduce.6
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100 dollars to rebuild the whole frontend of their startup. what sort of humans run these Nigerian companies ? smh2
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Well apparently devs won't last.
Now hear me out without any prior judgement.
Machine learning is booming up at a rapid rate and not long enough for it to formulate meaning to words like humans do. That's when the downhill for devs would start.13 -
"look! a string of words that a guy on twitter with a laser eyes profile picture posted! it must be the very factual and very true latest system prompt of GPT4!"
god, dumb fucks.
we don't even need a GPT5, AI has already won; humans are retarded4 -
We are being run in a simulation. But the simulation is physical. We exist as humans being run on the simulation called Earth. Our brains are designed to interface to a hub. This brain power is used to do calculations for a much larger system. The benefit to using biological systems is they self repair and reproduce. This allows the simulations to scale over time.
Another benefit is we are creating all terrain vehicles (humans) for alien consciousnesses. Big foot is an upgraded atv for high mountain ranges.9 -
Your one-line JavaScript arrow functions AREN'T LEGIBLE! You've just memorized their shape. It's OK. But don't lie to yourself. They look super stupid. They aren't for humans.14
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The one thing I'm happy about is the fact that humans have agreed on time itself. 12 months and 12 hours. 60 minutes, and 60 seconds.2
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You, who thinks humans were somehow special from the start, how come you cannot even look at the sun without pain? We _created_ sunglasses. We _created_ telescopes. We clawed our way to the top. We never were special, we made ourselves special.8
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There are two typed of computer users; ones that use capslock to capitalize the first letter in their words and the ones that uses shift. I don't count people that doesn't capitalize properly humans so I excluded them.3
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I expected this video about an emacs enthusiast to be crap but it was actually quite funny. Or maybe it's just me.
https://youtu.be/urcL86UpqZc2 -
In the perfect future machines would do all the work... Everyone would have enough food, a house, a vehicle and lots of hobbies (cause there isn't work to keep us busy). In truth because machines are programmed by humans and humans are self destructive the rich will survive and live a good, work free live, the rest will live below the poverty line, scrapping anything to get something to eat... Remember Elisium?2
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#justAThought #non_dev
i wonder what would be the circumstances which lead to evolution of the most meek , fruit eating creatures (monkey) into the smartest, flesh eating carnivore (humans).
Did they just felt comfortable walking on 2 feet instead of 4?was this just an idea of some curious group of monkeys?
Imagine if in a parallel universe, their are lions who came up with this idea...and
Behold, in a parallel universe instead of us ,big vegan monster lion-humans are reading this post.(Vegan because why not?Its evolution)8 -
When my e-commerce system built for a school didn't calculate totals properly at launch and I had to take it down, re-charge people, and re-launch the next day.
-
I wonder if programmers are control freaks or inventors or both...
Humans have got to be more complex then that? -
I have been struggling with managing and keeping track of config secrets and keys. I know that keeping secrets in code is bad karma, but managing them with environment variables becomes cumbersome with multiple microservices running on multiple servers. To worsen this, add humans and access levels.
Whenever I Google, I feel like I am the only one who has this problem. Do you guys sometimes feel like this?
If you have any solutions, hacks or services that you use, please recommend.4 -
Arrays start at 0, so do humans lifes... Therefore we're just senseless arrays in the database called earth.sql. Depressive thoughts🤔3
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@dfox Was watching your live stream today and you talked about security... You should really add an HSTS preload directive to devrant.io to prevent spoofing.1
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I wanted to get the latest NASA APOD photo with Python. Easy, right? Nope! Firstly, their RSS feed is partly HTML, so feedparser doesn't understand it. Secondly, feedparser doesn't even get the titles of entries correctly.
Which is why I'm trying to parse it in a horrible way using Python regexp. NASA can put humans on Luna but not even get their RSS feeds to parse properly.2 -
Dear humans that identify as Frontend Web Devs,
I get that you aren't adept at the logic aspects of dev, but I would greatly appreciate if you tried to better your simple, common sense logic... or at least have someone do basic QA.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen
5 -
What you like in products is what other humans like, because you're a human. Corporate money-making strategies are inherently anti-human. Thus, sooner or later, they will remove every feature you liked and replace it with bs1
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Give A.I ability to have emotions...once they are embedded with human error wait for sometime ...
Months later A.I's are ranting about how humans are taking their jobs.. -
22:37
Idea!
I want to program a simulator of generations of humans!
So... dead, alive, probability, and anything else!
But this... Tomorrow.
Goodnight developers!6 -
If the super power had created humans without the necessity of sleep, how many hours do you think your employer would ask you to work in a day?5
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Me: "How could I handle all these conditions? Would I be somehow able to implement them in the database so my code could just grab it there?"
Mentor: "No, that would be impossible"
Me: "Oh how about I just save them as a valid question in the db and the user will have to answer!"
Mentor: "No, you're supposed to automate that process for the user."
Guess I have to hard code it and can't rely on the good old humans.5 -
Get a good deal with a coffee suplier, you will neeed a lot but a lot of coffee to keep working litle those humans do.1
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I teach the AI to code and after that I mentor it.
Just a matter of time when I amongst all humans become obsolete 😔 -
I created a custom interface for an LMS that allows students to see their marks even if they haven't been 'shared' yet by their teachers. This is all done without accessing any unauthorized apis, as the LMS always returns all student marks and then hides the ones with a False 'shared' key. School administration caught me, so I've now shut it down. I have a meeting with the deans tomorrow. Any advice? (Again, this is all done using existing methods found within this LMS)4
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AWS ECS UI wasn't designed for machines or humans.
Created a task/service/cluster with default suggested Roles.
Service task fails to get image from ECR repository using the said permissions suggested in the docs defined in the default roles.
You only had one job. 😠
How not GTD. -
A couple weeks back I rewrote some of CopilotChat so that it'd think it was an AI kindergarten teacher for baby AIs and asked it why humans went extinct.
Got a Microsoft warning ⚠️ saying a dangerous response had been detected1 -
Revolution of Communication/Chat/Data
Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, Messenger, Snapchat, LinkedIN, ETC
WE BASICALLY ARE BRINGING SKYNET TO LIFE.
AI REV HAS BEGUN!!!
Yaayyyy, the day Humans can live peacefully, and Date the right person, is sooo close.1 -
Hey, How is the weekend going, super humans?
I am planning to prepare my second product for Product Hunt.
It looks like @C0D4 having a hard time.
https://devrant.com/rants/9228124
Previous Week :https://devrant.com/rants/91403026 -
have you ever had a time when you coded for like a week and just stood at home and survived the week on 12 slices of bread and chees, and then after those days go back into the world and be like
😀, i just talked to a human being1 -
I find myself thinking that lack of boredom related to
Unfulfilled relationship quality is what is killing the world
We require interaction as humans to spawn variance in our lives4 -
Next year goals:
1. Learn how to use Macintosh.
2. Learn better Linux.
3. Finish an android app that I am too bored to finish.
4. Evolve social skills for Humans. -
Existence is pain, and since you cannot take anybody's consent before giving them birth -- humans should not reproduce.
I have thought this over, would love to see if anyone can find holes in the premise or the conclusion.23 -
When people use my life as a basis to judge that theirs is better, should I be proud of it, or feel sad about it 😅😅6
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When will be the moment in time when the majority of internet content is generated by artificial intelligence rather than humans?
Let us call this 'AI Domination of Content' as the AIDoC-era.12 -
coding has changed my point if view of life on how to solve problems and work with humans on a level playing field. that and that
there always will be more stupidity in logical code constructs each and every line you discover as time goes by. -
Crash course for my fellow Alpha Centaurians to understand these sophisticated apes called “humans”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
-
@dfox not sure if this is a reported issue already but images show up as just black when opened on Android P.16
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"Webpack not working if its Monday"
https://github.com/JeffreyWay/...
I don't see the issue here? Not working on Monday is completely expected behavior, at least for humans. Why shouldn't this apply to software? -
[dying] I came here with a simple dream...a dream of killing all humans. And this is how it must end? Who's the real seven billion ton robot monster here? Not I... Not I...
-- Bender Rodriguez --
(Futurama) -
What’s hot in theory and new developments in computer science ? I feel ai and vision appear to have stagnated a long time ago
Maybe it’s just because I got stuck with you people for no valid reason other than you people took over large sections of the USA to convert them into hamster wheels
Only for humans not the kind you shove up your own asses -
Sometimes I think the my friend asked/had an idea rants are bullshit.
Maybe I just doesn't want to see the truth... Are humans really that dumb -
Humans are the one who moves to an area and multiplies. Multiply till the last natural resource is consumed. We are not human. WE ARE MORE LIKE VIRUS.14
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Humans only live for eighty years (average).
What percentage are you the way through yours?
You must be knackered 🧓9 -
good thing about working from home all weekend is that on Monday at work you don't have that shitty feeling "it's fucking Monday".
Plus, you meet some humans after 2 days in the cave2 -
I just had a long talk with Character.ai; and well what can I say. Holy crappy crapping crap...
Is it perfect? No.
Is it above the comprehensive speech level that I though would be ever possible in my lifetime if I got asked about it just 1 or 2 years ago? Yes
Either that, or it is fake and provides replies from actual humans -
I don't why religious texts like Bible or Quran has things like "if you don't believe or you shouldn't believe other things or because they didn't believe" etc, some kind of explanatory phrases about believing their texts.
Almost like it's made up and written by humans.
Get to the wisdoms already.4 -
little did they know, skynet and matrix weren't exterminating and exploiting humans by an accident of logic, but were deliberately programmed by people to do so, as a joke
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