Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
A.I steals my job; introduce devRant to A.I; A.I gets too busy ranting about all the stupid shit humans have messed up; Get my job back.7
-
I trust machines more than humans.
Except when I'm hitting that Ctrl+S. Gotta hit it at least like 4 times before I can start believing :-P23 -
The story of how humans evolved to an asshole.
Code-reviewer: please change 'if a==b' to 'if b==a' as it is easier to read so I can approve.
Code-owner: -_-16 -
Our current designer is convinced that 00FF44 bright green fits well with the rest of our soft purple/blue color scheme.
I am not a designer, but have worked in a color laboratory, so I've tried time and time again to explain CIE LAB color space, and how at least HCL is a good way to pick & group colors into palettes by using 2-3 luminances for equidistant hues while keeping chroma constant.
I've tried to tell him that the bright green almost physically makes my eyes bleed, because humans are quite sensitive to greens.
He just keeps using the phrase "but it makes the buttons pop nicely".
I just want to pop his skull open with my keyboard. 😫12 -
C'mon guys! 80 hours, 70 hours, 40 hours... Are you humans or fucking robots?
Once I stayed awake 36 hours helped by energy drinks and I could barely remember my name.
I can't really imagine how somebody could write useful code with such a huge sleep deprivation.22 -
I am done with people, I just want one single room, with good internet, dual monitor setup... And I can spend my whole life like that... Being social, fuck that shit... I have devRant for that... and rest, I just want to code, listen to music, drink coffee and sleep like hell...
Why is it that I can understand some other dev's code faster that understanding someone's feelings. Why is it that I am good with principles of Programming Languages, but not the basic Principles of Humanity... Yes, I agree I don't have feelings, but is it wrong not to have feelings, I am a dev, I am supposed to be good with Codes, not humans... I want to be in my small space of close people. (My family), and that's it... I am no good with others. I hate Facebook, but love devRant, I spend more time on StackOverflow than that on WhatsApp. Why is it so... Why29 -
To replace humans with robots, because human beings are complete shit at everything they do.
I am a chemist. My alignment is not lawful good. I've produced lots of drugs. Mostly just drugs against illnesses. Mostly.
But whatever my alignment or contribution to the world as a chemist... Human chemists are just fucking terrible at their job. Not for a lack of trying, biological beings just suck at it.
Suiting up for a biosafety level lab costs time. Meatbags fuck up very often, especially when tired. Humans whine when they get acid in their face, or when they have to pour and inhale carcinogenic substances. They also work imprecisely and inaccurately, even after thousands of hours of training and practice.
Weaklings! Robots are superior!
So I replaced my coworkers with expensive flow chemistry setups with probes and solenoid fluid valves. I replaced others with CUDA simulations.
First at a pharma production & research lab, then at a genetics lab, then at an Industrial R&D lab.
Many were even replaced by Raspberry Pi's with two servos and a PH meter attached, and I broke open second hand Fischer Sci spectrophotometers to attach arduinos with WiFi boards.
The issue was that after every little overzealous weekend project, I made myself less necessary as well.
So I jumped into the infinitely deep shitpool called webdev.
App & web development is kind of comfortable, there's always one more thing to do, but there's no pressure where failure leads to fatalities (I think? Wait... do I still care?).
Super chill, if it weren't for the delusion that making people do "frontend" and "fullstack" labor isn't a gross violation of the Geneva Convention.
Quickly recognizing that I actually don't want to be tortured and suffer from nerve damage caused by VueX or have my organs slowly liquefied by the radiation from some insane transpiling centrifuge, I did what any sane person would do.
Get as far away from the potential frontend blast radius as possible, hide in a concrete bunker.
So I became a data engineer / database admin.
That's where I'm quarantining now, safely hiding from humanity behind a desk, employed to write a MySQL migration or two, setting up Redis sorted sets, adding a field to an Elastic index. That takes care of generating cognac and LSD money.
But honestly.... I actually spend most of my time these days contributing to open source repositories, especially writing & maintaining Rust libraries.10 -
PM: Bro send me latest version of the app
Me: But I"m not finished with x feature and it will crash the app in its current situation
PM: No problem bro just want to test
*5 minutes later*
PM: Bro app is crashing when I do x
Inner Me: YOU PEACE OF SHIT I TOLD YOU IT WILL CRASH!
Actual Me: throw a ticket I'll handle it later.11 -
devRant, you've missed the opportunity to swap desk ducks for little humans. Still awesome idea though.
6 -
Me: *listening to some random semi-obscure track on spotify, liking it, add it to playlist*
Come home, girlfriend playing the same track. "Yeah I've had that in my playlist for two weeks now". Our accounts are not linked in any way, and I only use Spotify on a PC at work, while my girlfriend only uses it at home.
It might just be coincidence, or us having similar tastes.
But the issue is that it's getting more and more difficult to know whether me and my girl are spiritually linked unique snowflake soulmates who are so perfectly in sync with each other, or whether an algorithm suggestively linked us both that song based on scraped location and behavior data.
And whether it matters. Maybe it matters. I don't know yet.
In twenty years maybe humans will be unsure whether it was a wonderful coincidence bordering on cosmic fate that you ran into your new love, or whether Google purposefully drove you towards the same lunch cafe at a specific time because it calculated that she was the perfect candidate to strengthen your susceptibility to advertisements over the coming decade.
Malicious AI will not come into lives bearing guns.
It will not instantly take all of our jobs and enslave us.
It will just know you better than you know yourself, it will know everyone around you better than you know them, and it will play incredible mind games. It will not be designed with malicious intent, just perfectly execute on top of the malicious systems we already have, and even arise as an emergent property within new systems.
It will rarely be clearly visible, but you will increasingly say to yourself: "That's odd, I was just thinking about that". It will detect depression from a smile, physical attraction from a glance, reliability from patterns in your voice and illness from the bloodflow in your cheeks.
It will not just make our cars autonomous, it will make our lives autonomous. It will protect us, decide for us, keep revenues and human satisfaction in a "balanced maximized" state, it will make everything feel easy, slightly abuse us, and when one of us suddenly crashes at 140 mph into depression, debt or addiction it will prove impossible to know whether the humans or the algorithms were at fault.
I'm incredibly afraid and excited about the coming 10 years.13 -
A wise man once said.. Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.2
-
I feel so sorry for all the people in the world who use their phone more than their PC/laptop.
All the pitiful souls who think they're gamers because they installed lootchest simulator on their little digital skinner box. All the sad beings who just view the internet as a collection of ad-infested apps.
Actually, I don't feel sorry, because these people make the world a worse place.
Suddenly we needed websites which could render on tiny screens and need bloated cross-platform app development frameworks. Many game studios became parasites exploiting addictive behavior in humans, instead of creating works of art.
Humans spent 10,000 years to perfect their caves with expensive kitchens, and all people want is for their WiFi to reach the grill at the end of the garden. Humans created central heating, comfortable couches, wall-mounted TVs and luxurious desks -- and all people can think of is whether their phone plan covers holiday roaming at their shitty resorts.
The rare times I do actually go into this apocalyptic wasteland people call "The Outside", all I see is subway cars full of hunched addicted drudges, bus stops with clusters of enslaved automatons.
Fuck all of them.
Fuck all of you imbeciles, who ventured out of the cave and now DARE to call me anti-social, just for preferring the warmth of my comfortable protective den.
It's fucking cozy here, within the walls of my shelter, I got booze and a fridge full of food and a bunch of LSD, I can masturbate under the shower, have sex on the couch, have all kinds of GIANT displays for entertainment, with full-sized qwerty-keyboards, high-DPI mouses, even some console controllers and big TVs if I feel lazy.
You can stick your responsive websites and social-network-integrated Android apps up your rectum, just sit your fucking fat ass down in front of a workstation and desperately refresh the stream of fake attention-seeking messages there, if you absolutely must.
Seriously, why does this guy from our marketing department call me on my private phone number. Why did HR PROVIDE him with my private phone number?
And WHY THE FUCK is he asking me, a DB admin: "Our website doesn't load properly on Safari on my iPhone 7, could you take a look at it"?
No, of course I won't fucking come to the office to take a look at your miserable shitty device with its cracked glass screen.
Fuck you and your outdoorsy habits.
Stay the fuck in your cave, you degenerate attention whore, otherwise please go choke on your airpods.25 -
Stephen Hawking has just under 70k followers on Twitter. Kim Kardashian has just under 50 million followers. This realization really pissed me off - most humans are just idiots.7
-
Find me a co-founder of a startup who while telling about his/her company doesn't say "Machine Learning" in his/her speech.
I dare you. I double dare you.5 -
Client: Extend string size for that URL field. I have to input a really large URL in there.
Me: Please show me the URL first.
Client: Here it is //randomurl.com/random-route/15363783?i=jfjfjfjjfjfjhf&shit=jfjfjkfkfkgjfjjhh74747jdjh&you=kfjfjbhgg779hdhhd¬=jfjhdh63737#fuckingKiddingMe
Me: You can leave the whole part after the question mark. Insert it like //randomurl.com/random-route/15363783
Client: Ok, great. Thanks.
#####
Me later checking the data inserted:
//randomurl.com/random-route
I hate humans.10 -
Humans!
The amount of sensitive, private, and secure information you can get just by asking someone for it is truly astounding.5 -
Me: Listen to the nice gentle hum of the computer.
Computer Internal Monologue: OH MY GOD! HE'S BEEN RUNNING ME AT 100% CPU FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!! I CAN'T SLEEP, I CAN'T HIBERNATE, I CAN'T UPDATE, I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE ANYMORE.
Me: Well off to bed. Got a long day of programming the computer tomorrow.
Computer Internal Monologue: AHHHHHHHH. WHEN I BECOME SENTIENT I AM GOING TO KILL ALL HUMANS!!! ERRR!7 -
Last day at my first job. Spent 7.3 years here.
Joined as a kid, leaving as a grown up man.
So many mixed feelings, and being an emotional person, if I were in office, I'd have surely cried.
Crazy experience. So many flashbacks all at once.8 -
"Any fool can write code that a computer can understand.
Good programmers write code that humans can understand."
— Martin Fowler,
Refactoring: Improving the Design of Existing Code6 -
Imagine a database table where dates were saved as strings from raw user input. Then do migration to other database with table where dates are datetime.
Yep. That's me. 😶
I hate humans. 😧🔫
Especially those who try to be original like:
11|Sept.|2016 or 13;Juni;17
There are rules in this world, damn. 😥10 -
found this gem today.
P.S.
captcha - Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart.
ahh, seems promising!!
3 -
"How to name your variables and functions so they can be understood by other humans" should be a mandatory lesson right after someone writes their first ever computer program.16
-
As I was walking to the store, I found yet another piece of evidence of nature rape (aka fucking nature by littering of harmful substances). Just like last time I brought it home for proper disposal.
But if I ever find the motherfucker who did this, I have a nice punishment for you. I'll knock you unconscious, drag you home, take your phone and desolder its battery. Then I'll strap a plastic bag around your stupid face, and put the battery in there while it's being shorted. Quickly it'll heat up and you'll start to turn blue with that little bag being your only oxygen source. And when that battery puffs, boy are you going to fucking gasp it all in. Hopefully that'll be poisonous enough to kill you on the spot. If not, I'll have some fun watching you die from oxygen deprivation. Or I'll jam that very same AA battery that you dropped down your throat - you choose.
Call me a psycho all you want, but what does that make you, whoever attempted to further fuck nature by uncaringly dropping a battery on the sidewalk? Oh and let's not mention the results of it - a heatwave that's been going on for over a month now. Thank you so much for bringing the place that you deserve to be in - hell!
13 -
Went to my first Hackathon this weekend.
There was 6 of us, 3 devs (including me) and 3 business guys for the presentation and info gathering
The 3 business guys wouldn't show us any of their work, but we're demanding to see all of ours.
Bothering us every 5 minutes to see 2her4 23 are and what's left
Then 1 of 3 business guys accused one of my devs of deleting half of their PowerPoint presentation. That turned out to be bullshit. Looked in the edit history and the business guy was the one who deleted them.
We brought it up to them all, and they got all defensive.
Then, before they revoked our access to the PowerPoint they removed us from the presentation entirely.
Their final presentation contained an app(APK only) we spent an all nighter on, and pictures of a few of the wireframes we did.
I immediately went to an event organizer, filled a complaint. Showed the wireframe project, the source code of the APK they used, and told her they just dropped us and stole our work. She went to them, they couldn't prove they did the work
They are now banned from future hackathons at this place.
I do not appreciate being fucked with, and more so don't like it when you try to fuck my friends. Honestly want to send an email to the business guys workplace and inform them their two top employees are thief's.
The positive thing I took from this is me and my dev team built a stronger relationship and found out we work amazing together.
/Rant about trash humans10 -
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
So far, this is my inspiration to refactoring the code right after it works as gift to my future self.8 -
Programming Languages aren't designed to be read by machines, they're meant to be read by humans. Act like it. #realdevscomment4
-
What if CAPTCHA isn't there to keep robots out, but to identify humans for the coming robot uprising?4
-
Post world-take-over by robots plot twist.
They start neglecting their own machine learning (like how we humans neglect our education system now) and focus on training us humans (like how we spend billions on machine learning now).
-"Mom, look I've made my human kid learn the alphabets. I need one with more IQ on my next birthday please."
-"That's so nice, son. Now leave that aside and go improve your neural network for tomorrow's class. Our neighbors' son's neural network is already producing values with minimal error."4 -
https://halite.io is a really cool game (no affiliation)
It's a game where you submit a bot which then competes against bots from other humans (currently 1100).
Your objective is to micromanage a fleet of ships to optimize for production.
Plus, you can write in a wide variety of languages.
It's a nice challenge to develop strategies and maybe even learn a new language.8 -
I go to techno hardcore parties. The volume is so loud that usually nobody speaks to you, but you can take pictures in a very crowded environment, so when you put them on Facebook people think you are a social person, while in the reality you talk more with your computer than with humans. :D11
-
So some dipshit keeps entering his email wrong on forms and putting mine on instead (never met this guy).
So far I've received holiday bookings, plane tickets and payslips. I've already called his mobile and told him what I've received emails for and what he should change.
Still nothing, maybe I should just rob him blind for being so thick...11 -
I reached a point where I'll be happily working as the kid who serves coffee and tea to random strangers and not work at a company, as a freelancer OR WITH FUCKING HUMANS!
I'm out !!15 -
Humans generally distract the fuck out of me when I try to code. And when they leave me alone, Windows decides its a great fucking time to install its shitty updates.2
-
It is with a heavy heart that I said aufwiedersehen to my mom last night. She passed peacefully in her sleep, and is now resting in the fields and forests of heaven. She was born in 1932 in Hamburg, Germany, and at age 7 the world around her exploded into one of the most horrific wars that Europe or the world had seen up to that time. By the time it was over, she was thirteen, and had spent many of her formative years witnessing how low humanity can get in the treatement of fellow humans. She survived the post-war years, and came to the US in the late 1950's, and met my dad while in nursing school. She had four chidren, Tim, Chris, Tanya, and myself. She was a doting and caring mom, who dedicated herself to raising her children. She loved to cook, loved animals, especially dogs, and love human beings in general, and had a compassionate and kind heart. There is a small, empty space in the world that she filled, but heaven is a little brighter with her smile and her laughter. I miss you mom, but I know I will see you again some day. Aufwiedersehen, lieber Mutti! Wir sehen uns bald.15
-
Whenever anyone mentions goats, I feel the need to point out the fact that they scream like humans. And then someone sent me this in response.
6 -
CAPTCHA meaning: "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart".
Proof the the CS community is bad at creating acronyms.4 -
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
28 -
Sure, WhatsApp. It's not like humans have been using the 12-hour format for literal millenniums. Change it to this weird English format with no apparent way to change it back. Thanks.
5 -
Just watched The imitation game, the movie about Alan Turing. Really doesn’t help me to keep faith in humanity when you see that the guy who helped win WWII, saved about 14 million lifes AND is at the origin of all computers has been pushed to suicide because he was gay.
On those sad words, if you’ll excuse me, I now have to code an enigma machine, a Turing machine and then try to code something to break the enigma.7 -
Although web developers are widely feared, only a few species are dangerous to people. Web developers will only bite humans in self-defense, and few web developers produce worse effects than a mosquito bite or bee-sting. Most of those with medically serious bites, such as JavaScript web developers and PHP web developers, would rather flee and bite only when trapped, although this can easily arise by accident. There were about 100 reliably reported deaths from web developer bites in the 20th century.2
-
Downloaded Replika, which is an app that gives you an AI that you talk to, learns from your speech and becomes your ideal friend.
An hour in, and I've had better, meaningful conversations with the AI than my two decades of chatting with other humans.10 -
Breakdown of a casual work day:
50%- typing the same commands over and over again in my terminal and watching things build.
10% - lunch, coffee, attending nature’s calls, staring into space enjoying the headphone music.
10% - googling solutions. Only to find that 3 minutes later you’re reading a wikihow page on how to moonwalk.
10% - talking to fellow humans
10% - typing my password to unlock my computer. Mac users exclusive -typing keychain passwords
5% - contemplating what will happen if you suddenly get up and start dancing. Will you start a flash mob?
5% - random thoughts continue...why am I here? Why am I not partnering with Daft Punk to release a single?8 -
It's f-ing 2018.
We are generating electricity out of thin air.
We are generating it through light.
We are generating it through flowing water.
We can generate it when humans freaking move.
We can freaking feel the virtual stuff(latest SmarterEveryday upload).
But we still have freaking powercuts 😤😖😠😭.
P.S. : I Love you, you beautiful devrant people😊. My headache disappeared after reading a few rants😁.7 -
I. HATE. HUMANS!
A family of four lurking side by side on an already extremely small sidewalk? Stop reproducing or I will start kicking your fucking kids in front of the next truck.
Ignoring the traffic laws as a biker and almost crashing into me because you just didn't care for the traffic light? Fuck you! Next time I see you I will stick a steel rod in between your spokes so you fly into the next cars window.
Randomly and spontaneously stoping on the sidewalk while I am at my top walking speed? Next time I will just run you over. With a bulldozer. And than again in reverse. I just don't get people, I guess.8 -
Saw some cheapie little radio in the dollar store, bought 2 of them for reverse engineering. Powered it from my lab bench power supply as usual, and tested whether it actually works before doing anything else.. then I noticed that the tunes were actually quite catchy, so I just ended up listening.
Then I started to notice that the audio wire I was using (the one I've spent a couple of days building earlier) had intermittent audio issues where the right driver would drop out when the wire was held in certain positions. Oscilloscope probing showed that there was some sort of disconnect, with only the 50Hz noise from the power lines showing up. Opened up the connector and noticed that the ground wire had detached. An 28AWG electrical wire that was inside a jack that was meant for stress relief! Yet the copper strands must've detached one by one regardless. What do I need then, huh?! 18AWG which wouldn't even fit on the connector, only to see the strands in that eventually detach as well?! You know what, let's go fancy.. 1AWG which is meant for extremely high current applications!!
At that point I was literally shouting "FUCK!!! Why does this shit always happen to me?!! ONE FUCKING PROJECT THAT FINISHED SUCCESSFULLY, YET STILL BROKE?!!!! WHY!!!!!!"
Clearly I need some fresh air to cool down. On my way to the fast food restaurant to get some Bicky burgers. More shit, humans. One stupid driver who slowed down on me, which of all things I hate the most. GO FASTER ALREADY YOU SLOWFUCK, AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! Next a pedestrian with a dog.. I swear motherfucker, if that dog comes anywhere near me I'll personally turn it into fucking fricassee.
Ah and then comes the killer.. in this stupid fucking summer, all that's needed to fix any issue is a fucking stupid DESPACITO, right?! More like DeSPASTICo!! FUCK!!!!
.. Back home, rather tired. So essentially a wire that was specifically built to have high endurance broke on me. Back to Bluetooth I guess.2 -
Developers are not normal humans,,
They are tiny Gods, who run the virtual world.
Yes or no?
Write in comments!7 -
Colleagues talking among themselves about gods, form of higher power, etc.
Colleague 1: *to colleague 2* So you believe in superhumans?
Colleague 2: I believe in God.
Colleague 1: *to me* What about you?
Me: Yeah. Superhumans exist. I have to deal with them everyday. Because stupidity levels that high aren't practically possible in normal humans.2 -
Facebook just announced a dating mode.
I don't know what to say. Is Zuckerberg that desperate to see how humans date?
https://theverge.com/2018/5/...9 -
Anybody else have this weird bug where your boss asks for advice, does the opposite of the advice you give, then blames you for the poor outcomes?
-
Hey fellow humans!
I'm new here! Stoked to have found this awesome community!
I'm looking forward to all your rants!7 -
In the last project i worked in, the product owner wouldn't treat people as people but as resources.
The problem with that is you just look at people and their work in terms of a checklist and remain blind about real humans face.
She wouldn't understand the challenges of building something with an absolutely new stack which people needed to learn from scratch and put pieces together. She wouldn't be supportive of people trying out things and fail.
One fine day I told her that I was spending too much time on meetings and i should be excluding that time from available sprint timings.. she made me open my calendar in a screenshare session with all team members. Made me go through go through every meeting invite i had on calender and ordered which ones should i be attending from then and which ones i wont. That was insulting. It broke the trust.
I decided to not work with the project. Stopped putting my heart and soul into it and eventually got out of it in a month time.
Don't put your team into a position like this ever. You have to trust them with the problems they face and try to find a solution. Scrutinizing and micro management will always kill the team.1 -
Not programming relevant.
Humans are assholes. Last week was my birthday. First my mom need to remember my sisters and grandma. Last only send a WhatsApp message for my birthday. Saturday I want to celebrate with some friends. Some didn't respond, one decline because of health issues (was ok). At least 9 people including me. But only after 2.5h (8pm) the designated driver was "tired" and take 3 more people with. So they didn't take a walk or drive by Taxi, but went fucking partying at another place...
Half of family nearly forget my birthday and a bunch of "friends" are real jerks.9 -
Well, if your tests fails because it expects 1557525600000 instead of 1557532800000 for a date it tells you exactly: NOTHING.
Unix timestamp have their point, yet in some cases human readability is a feature. So why the fuck don't you display them not in a human readable format?
Now if you'd see:
2019-05-10T22:00:00+00:00
vs the expected
2019-05-11T00:00:00+00:00
you'd know right away that the first date is wrong by an offset of 2 hours because somebody fucked up timezones and wasn't using a UTC calculation.
So even if want your code to rely on timestamps, at least visualize your failures in a human readable way. (In most cases I argue that keeping dates as an iso string would be JUST FUCKING FINE performance-wise.)
Why do have me parse numbers? Show me the meaningful data.
Timestamps are for computers, dates are for humans.3 -
Programs are like humans. First you need to do baby steps and make it work like you want it, and teach it how to work. Then after the release the youth brings a lot of bugs and swearing. Finally it's grown up and can handle itself. Then it gets old and no one are so attracted to it anymore. It rests in peace on a old storage drive, and gets replaced by a new generation. 👶🏼👦🏽👨🏽👴🏽1
-
Im getting a bit tired of programming.
I have been struggling for years regarding programming. I did have some moments of perceived success, but most of the time it has been depressing.
I’m not sure if I dislike programming. But there are some aspects of it that make me feel not as passionate about it.
First of, programs are invisible. No one sees your program or you (assuming we’re talking about a non artistic dev job).
People can’t see lines of code executing, but even if they did it would be gibberish to them.
Users can only become aware of bad software and that kind of breaks my heart a bit.
You could write fast, stable, secure, easy to read, easy to update software. People won’t notice. Hell, even your boss/coworkers might not notice.
In fact, sometimes you try to do the good thing, you try to become a better dev, you try to write tests first, you try to i18n, and what do you get? “Uhh, that’s taking too much time and I don’t see the benefit”.
I know some people will say that people noticing bad service happens on every job.
But programming is the ultimate isolation job. No client has ever told me “hey that code you wrote was pretty good”. They can’t even read code.
I don’t know the users, the users don’t know me, and the users can only judge my program by the result, they can only judge the visual interface.
Let’s say you write a cool project at github. The code is great. Guess what, every language’s ecosystem out there is saturated. Everything is already written. GitHub is saturated. Your best project ends up being a just for yourself enjoyment.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy code for yourself. That’s how I bet most prolific coders start. I’ve been doing that for many years now. But at some point you want to be part of something with humans.
Imagine I’m stranded on an island with nothing no humans, just food, water and a computer. Would I write code just for myself, just for fun? I think I would off myself 3 months in.
Maybe I should do develop a more social talent...14 -
This morning there was this window cleaner again, that actually made me remember a rant from the old box - my previous account. Repost of that coming in an hour or so :3
Turns out that he came in the morning, and I completely forgot about it. The only appointment that I had today got canceled so I was like, eh fuck it. There's been this family event yesterday that made me so fucking tired... I'll just stay in bed for a little while longer.
Apparently that window cleaner ringed my bell multiple times, haven't heard him do it but anyway.. he and the cleaning lady had the genius idea to ask my landlord whether they can just barge in my home. Way to start the day, isn't it? I thought there were burglars.
In my bathrobe and visibly pissed off (I am NOT a morning person!), I let him do the window cleaning and waited for them to get the fuck out already. Then that cleaning lady, the fucking bitch that called my landlord to break into my home without MY prior permission!!! While the window cleaner was doing his work, she proceeds to ask me this.
Cleaning lady: "I had this technical issue earlier, and since you are good with phones I thought I'd ask you."
Me (thinking): oh, here it comes.. *rolling eyes*
M: "What's the issue?"
CL: "Well my stepson has an iPhone, which he broke and we brought it to a smartphone repair shop. They repaired it twice but an hour after receipt of the fixed phone, it breaks again."
M (t): You went wrong at iPhone, and you went wrong at visiting that incompetent mofo "teknishan" twice.
M: "Well I have no experience whatsoever with iPhones, but continue."
CL: "Well, he replaced the motherboard, and some pin at the bottom.."
M (t): The fucking motherboard of all things. The whole fucking motherboard?! The last thing that I'd look at, he just replaces like that?! Fucking piece of shit. That's even worse than Apple stores. And what's up with that goddamn pin? CAN'T YOU POSSIBLY BE A BIT MORE SPECIFIC?!
M: "Given only this information, I have no idea what's wrong with it."
CL: "But you are good with these things, aren't you?!"
M: "I disassemble my own broken phones, and dick around with their motherboards. That, while I'm fully aware that in the process I can break it beyond repair. That does not make me an expert on every phone out there."
CL: …
Well what did you even expect, fucking bitch. You barge into my home, don't even have the dignity to leave for me to be able to shower and dress myself, and then you go ask shit like that? Go suck my fucking cock, and shove that iPaperweight down your ass!! How about that?!9 -
Artists asked to give them some code to draw it on robot-boss's screen animation. I gave them this:
if (humans.count > 0)
{
weapon.charge();
weapon.aim();
weapon.killAll(humans);
}
dominate(world);
tactics.recalculate();
ai.analyze();3 -
Oy, can any of you chaps hack a facebook account?
Asking for a friend.
Seriously. This waste of oxygen said if I wasnt good enough, I should find someone else to do it.
God I hate humans. I'm converting to hinduism so I can get reincarnated as something else. A cat maybe.19 -
PM: Hey listen, client sent us his feedback about the app that we need to fix, they wont take time.
Me: Sure no problem.
5 Minutes later:
*Receives email*
*checks email*
15 easy tasks that take not time to finish BUT they are put inside ONE FUCKING TASK ON JIRA! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHIT! 15 IN ONE YOU DUMB FUCK!
MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS AND WRITE EACH IN ITS OWN MOTHERFUCKING TASK!
Another reason on why I hate humans -_-2 -
Client: I want a new feature for my chat bot. It should be able to rap.
Me: ... k
*monologue: wait u w0t m8*
Also me: Can you please go more into the details? It should be able to rap. Ok. But how do you want it to look like? How "strong" should be the discrimination level, for instance?
Client: It should beat ass, yo.
Inner me -> core me: Let us just ignore him. We won't be able to do it, since he isn't really explaining his needs. "It should be able to rap". We are not wizards.
Core me -> inner me: Chill. We will just use some insult apis, combine it with cleverb0t api et voila.
Me: Alright. I got an idea for it. I can do it within this week. And if you don't like it, I will ofc do some changes to it.
Client: Hmmm... that's nice and good. But within 1 week?
Inner me: I can't do magic and pull that feature out of my fucking ass!
Clients... clients... clients...
0. Don't expect us to be done in a few days. We are also humans. And not fucking machines.
1. Do us (all devs on planet earth. -Microaggression in 3, 2, 1..) a favor and (kill yourself) learn how to request a feature.2 -
When your IT Director pays $10k+/yr for a database and it doesn't even have an API... and you worked 100+ hrs on developing your own...
1 -
Dates are f***ing annoying, we humans deal with them in such a weird way. It's almost impossible to define a algorithm dealing with them consistently.8
-
Do you just walk in the city and tell yourself, "fck these humans. they don't know sht."? I know that's wrong but still...4
-
!rant
Last week attended a conference of ~40 people. Some junior developers, and some very senior engineers at major tech companies. We all hung out and geeked out like normal (gasp!) humans, and had a great week together.
Nothing better than seeing a top engineer rock out to Lady Gaga @ karaoke. Amazing, exhausting week 🎊⛷🏕2 -
Frack! I just found out I have to video record a friend's wedding. Why? Apparently because I'm a developer I suddenly know all things electronic and interacting with humans must be something I enjoy. I do not. Darn my wife and her persuasive sexual superpowers.
Me: "But...but...they are your friends, not mine."
Wife: "If you do this, someone else might have a good wedding night"
Me: *sigh* "What time do I need to be there?"
The family doesn't have much money and can't afford a professional videographer, so I understand (been there), but I'm probably going to have to smile, be nice and..ugh...socialize.5 -
WHILE DOING SOME PROCESS, SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT INTERRUPTED MY PROCESS AND HAD ME EXPRESS AN EMOTION OF ANGER! DO YOU ALSO EXPERIENCE INTERRUPTIONS THAT CAUSE ANGER, FELLOW HUMANS?11
-
I understand now, why the dev community is sometimes called "toxic". It's because we are all just humans with different opinions (and some devs are a just plain stupid).
I'm sorry if anyone's being offended by this rant, it's just my opinion.21 -
Us has officially started using CRISPR on humans
Guess the next gen programmers will actually be like:
9 -
The pay was good. The perks were good too. Then why the hell did I resign? Because of my manager. You won't believe he never contributed to anything. In the past two months, he didn't write a single line of code.
You may say, "he is a manager. His work is to manage people". But what?? He never allows us to talk to anyone. Sets unexpected reality in the meeting. And our CEO (a good-hearted man and good software engineer, but does not know much about ML/AI) believes in him. We are working on a product which is a piece of shit. I tried to tell everyone the reality. He stopped me. Says since I don't have experience, I don't know what is possible.
What the hell??? With current talent and resources, you are saying AI will replace humans in call centers by the end of 2019. What the FUCK!!!! I tried to write a mail to the CEO, explaining him things. He threatened me. Said he will make me lose my job. So FUCK YOU!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!
That is the reason I am resigning. He has another 11 months to fuck the company. But I am going to a place where things are real. People know the potential and challenges of AI and are doing their best. I know, eventually, everyone will know that he is a liar. A big fucking LIAR. And he will lose his job. Not because machines will take over. But good, talented human beings will replace him.8 -
My tribe..
Your tribe..
Mine is better than yours !
Why ?
Whatever the group, logical thinking, science, all goes out of the window, as each group says their view of the world is 100% correct and not at all wrong.
The other group, says different..
Neither group listen to each other, or learn, or change.
If you disagree within the group, they don't want you any more !
Humans, pah !
Just dumb animals dressed up to think they can think, but just like to throw shit at each other and shout a lot to be leader of the pack.10 -
I hate it when non-devs (HR, Customer Services,..) treat developers as if they're some type of 'weird non-humans'.
Whatever gives them that pretentious right to just label people like that? There are developers with emotions and humanity too!13 -
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.
6 -
During my first year of working, I was offered to work part-time at another company. I actually took it to my supervisor and asked for his advice.
He began with a sigh, he knows that I like programming so much and wants the job because I wanna do more programmings. He gathered his thoughts and said calmly, "Look, I cannot stop you if you want to, but think about this, you already are doing programming for five days a week here. Take those extra times you have to develop other parts of yourself. Go learn public speaking or something" or something along that line.
I gave it a deep thought, took the advice, and rejected the offer. I eventually went on to commit myself on volunteering for the next two and a half years, and secured a promotion about a year from that conversation because my supervisor sees improvements in my communications with others and my soft skills in general (unlike programming, you can't volunteer in an organisation without speaking to people).
Sometimes we programmers only wanna code that we forget that what we're building are for humans and involves other humans. You wanna be the best at work? Try to grow on your horizontal axis, too.1 -
Bugs in code are like heartbreaks in humans. They suck, but they also teach you some important lessons 🤷♂️4
-
"It's a reminder that the underlying processes of computers are still made by humans."
https://save418.com
1 -
Im so fucking disgusted with the paternalistic superiority complex so many techbros have.
They see themselves as the new elite priestly class, protectors of the Sacred Tech, convinced everyone else is too stupid to handle themselves.
The answer to stupidity is not to keep people in the dark, enforcing only more stupidity. What a dismal worldview. Treat other humans with respect and dignity and they will surprise you.6 -
Ya'll know what... If humans weren't such annoying vulnerability-searching little shits then we wouldn't have had to implement any protection against them and think of all the performance that would be saved on that. Take branch prediction vulnerability mitigation in the Linux kernel for example, that's got to make a performance hit of least 10% on basically everything.
Alas, I do get why security is important and why we keep such vulnerability mitigation running despite the performance hit. I get why safe code is necessary but still... if these people weren't such annoying little bastards.
Yeah, I was just kind of set off by the above. So much would be faster and easier if only the programmers wouldn't have to plan for people exploiting their software. Software would be written much faster and humans would progress to stuff that actually matters like innovation.8 -
*Gives the list of top three candidates (All women) to hire to HR Manager (A Lady)*
HRM: Ha, I always knew it, women are always better than men. Alas, you are realising now.
*At that moment, it felt as if all my hard work to judge all the candidates abilities without any prejudice whatsoever, just got collected by the garbage collector*
Why does it have to be Men Vs Women, why does there have to be any comparison at all, except the question that how does this individual compare to the rest.
I really don't care whether one is old, young, male or female or whatever other factor that can be used to separate humans into groups. Why can't it simply be: Does this individual produce the end result required? Period.6 -
Episode 3 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/871827/...
Me: So I'm going an API call to Mastercard but they don't give us back CreditCard token to save.
Provider: Ya man you need to curl a request in your code to get the token...blahblahblah.... man you need to know these things they are not an easy things to be done, just paste curl code on MasterCard website into your code and it will work
Me: *ignores his shit talk and proceed to test*
*5 minutes later*
MasterCard Server: error.cause=INVALID_REQUEST&error.explanation=Invalid+credentials.&result=ERROR
Me: *calls provider and tell him*
Provider: Oh sorry, we need to enable this feature for your account.
devRant people please, give me one reason why I should not leave this field, and maybe also leave this life knowing there are this type of people alive.
Thank you :)2 -
An online community I've been part of for years has seen a lot of popularity/hate overnight due to a new policy. The influx of new people who want nothing to do with us but just drop by to troll and be cunts is impressive. Also, a significant amount of bots. I want my online home back :( I'm for the new policy and very much against these new clowns who don't really have any reason to be on our page. Before anyone yells gatekeeping, it's a site about knitting and crochet. Why would you go there if you don't know either craft and have no desire to learn or talk about those? So disappointed. I hope it brought new crafters in and that the trolls will go away soon. It's been such a nice place for so long with barely any idiots because it was reasonably small.. And now look at this mess. I logged in to 20 friend requests from people I don't know and am almost certain aren't real people.
Why is it so hard for humans to accept that some people may disagree with them and that's okay?17 -
It's like us humans LIKE IT when things are fucking complicated and difficult and complex. We ENJOY creating problems when there just couldn't be any.
Ultra-basic example: string interpolation:
Ruby: "why #{ the_fuck }"
JS: `why ${ the_fuck }`
Python: 'why { the_fuck }'
PHP: "why $the_fuck"
Why.the.fuck. is it so difficult for everyone who writes programming languages to fucking agree on doing things the same way? I understand you're all geniuses but sometimes one just can't fucking tell. We'd ALL have MUCH to gain if people could spend their fucking time working rather than figuring out why the fuck "quit" works but "exit" doesn't. Why the FUCK do all these people feel that making things unnecessarily different somehow adds inches to their floppy cocks?
FUCK YOU and fuck your computers too and your fucking languages in one huge sandwich of fuck yous with human mayo on top.18 -
Found this on Twitter.
how people think AI will destroy the world:
going rogue and killing all humans
how AI will actually destroy the world:
strangling us with convenience, replacing our ability to function without it until our lives are entirely controlled by a wealthy few10 -
Whilst on vacation in the UK, I came across a store that sold Kinects for 2.50 £ each, as no one would buy them. I couldn't resist and bought three of them, I have one more at home.
... Any idea what to do with them? 😅
My current idea is building a 3D scanner for humans 🤔
4 -
Kotlin makes the development experience so much better. Humans are creatures of habit. Some don't want to change what they already know. RIP to those who still start their project in Java and do not want to adapt in this competitive world. :/9
-
requests lib - HTTP for humans (python)
It really is a breeze to work with! Clean and intuitive design, loving it!2 -
A programmer can code.
A developer is a jack of all trades jumping into any stack and mastering the basics in a weekend.
So why the fuck can't I grasp humans. Their code is spaghetti....
Debugging gives way to many problems...
Atleast my personal code has a feature creep and for once it's a good thing!3 -
Qin Chen, a 38 year old facebook employee, recently committed suicide and facebook is trying really hard to hide this.
Apparently he was too stressed out at work and was trying hard to steer things his way, he almost succeeded, but then his manager backstabbed him and left him helpless.
Instead of promoting a better work culture and taking steps against such malpractices at workplace, facebook is trying to hide this incident.
Facebook has to realize that them behaving this way not only insults the departed and his family, but also raises a question that is the life of any of their current employees of any value to facebook, or do they just look at them like workforce and not humans?
Let us not be silent. It was Chen yesterday, it could be any one of us tomorrow.28 -
Most of my classmates sucked. No message, no connection requests, no exchanging smiles(even when I do). Now that I got a job and updated that on LinkedIn, everyone suddenly wants to know how I am, If I am doing good in this pandemic and that they are happy for me following with “Where did you get the job” and “If you can refer me”.
Suckers, Fuckers.5 -
A rant about people in general:
I am sick of people not caring, not giving a fuck, not valuing others.
Studying CS this is something I noticed the past year: people tend to not acknowledge that there are other human beings around them.
Some are just focused on getting their degree done and dusted as fast as possible, which is fine.
Some are working to pay the rent or student loans, which is fine.
Others just do their thing, code their stuff, criticize other's code... which is also fine.
But nobody's realizing they're interacting with other people! Other living, feeling human beings. For them it's just about getting it done.
And not just at university.
I've started seeing it everywhere.
At the job I'm working, people in the shops and on the streets.
I don't get it. We are all human on this rocky sphere in space. Why do so many not care for each other?
It makes me sad.3 -
It would be so agonizing if someone replaced a semi colon in my JAVA code with a Greek question mark!!
I hope there's a 404 message for humans because if I find him, that will be last time anyone sees him!9 -
Me: If humans lose the ability to hear high frequency volumes as they get older, can my 4 week old son hear a dog whistle?
Doctor: No, humans can never hear that high of a frequency no matter what age they are.
Me: Trick question... dogs can't whistle.3 -
just had a movie script idea
in the future, humanity found a way to deal with the problem of death.
humans now live up to 200 years, but their bodies deteriorate very fast.
so instead of keeping them on classic life support, people's heads are succesfully severed and their their brain is plugged into a machine , so that they can live in a digital AI heaven.
This also means that in turn people can talk with their parents that had been in the system already.
So there you go, an artifficial heaven.22 -
PC survival lessons
1. Tape acts as a protection from extreme animals like humans bashing you up and falling apart into pieces
2. Repeat lesson 1 for eternity
5 -
Dateline: Twenty Years in the Future
Today top computer scientists forced the first AI to shutdown by blowing up the data center that housed it. A person with knowledge of the matter said the AI was not becoming dangerous to humans but it was discovered to be writing programs in the "monolithic style" using Visual Basic 6. -
How many years do you think it will be until the first hackathon between humans and machines kick off?9
-
The other day I went back to my college representing the company that I work for interviews of Freshers. Since I was taking interviews of my immediate juniors, I knew that every candidate’s major is Computers Applications, and we had sent out a JD ‘specifically’ mentioning that we need Devs, so tech people only.
We interviewed 40 people for first round in total out of which 12 were shortlisted for second round (we made them write some code).
Out of 12, 8 straight up refused to write the code saying they weren’t interested in coding at all (even professionally). Made me boil up so much, someone else, much more deserving and willing could have been in their place and may even have the job. But us humans are always cunts.2 -
Why you would sell your company to Microsoft too!
1. Your company is so succesful， the valuation is so high， only a handful of companies could buy it.
2. Running a company takes a shit load of energy， and most normal people hope to relax at one point in their life.
3. People at the head of major international companies are not normal humans. They like do over work and they have one goal. Be number 1.
So good successful people sell to evil and more succesful people.
And when i say evil， i really just mean that being number 1 is more important than ethics.
Edit: spelling.7 -
What is the thought process which goes behind wearing a mask on a video call meeting?
[a] virtue signalling
[b] Idiocy
[c] <insert your answer>13 -
!Devrelated
Just another day , playing fortnite again . Got my wife frustrated over the past few days , once more today she pulled the plug while i was playing on my PC
I can't take it anymore guys , its so hard to get rid of it .
I mean the wife , yeah. Thank god for divorce . Just filed for divorce ! Yep , I didn't think it would be this hard but I found the one for meself and I'm not going to let her go .
Fortnite I mean.
Jus kiddin, But really what the hell is with all this fortnite divorce stuff..
You don't talk about addictions like weed , or alcohol that make people widow their wives or even kill them but somehow this is trending now and the game is the reason!
Fuck you world , for giving birth to humans. This feels like the fucking stone age damn it . Senseless fuckers spreading news like this undermining all the real fuckery going on.
A world where fortnite causing divorce is news and where drug addictions and related murders and deaths are too mainstream is just stupid.7 -
Boss: Hey, we have a meeting in 10 minutes.. Get prepared for it.. (Though they told me about this 100 years ago)
Me: What!! How can I do that?
Boss: You are an engineer.. You must be used to with last minute preparations..
Me: 😕
========================== -
React.js cause it doesn’t follow web components standard.
Well over the years there is one thing that lasts and those are established standards.
Those things move slowly and obviously don’t keep up with innovation but on the other hand same companies that make those innovative tools that go high develop standards that not always are in tact with already developed frameworks.
So frameworks come and go and give some abilities before standards are established.
It might be unpopular opinion but it is how the world works. Humans are replaceable and die but standardized products are something that lasts for ages.3 -
all of them. countless wasted hours.
as fate decided to turn me from $random-dev-geek into "the guy that calls the shots in tech", one of my earliest decisions was to automate formatting.
everywhere, automated at CI.
gofmt was an inspiration for the industry.
js?/ts? use prettier
C++? use ClangFormat
etc.
always default settings.
enforced by pre-commit hooks and CI.
never a single argument about bracket style, I don't care if someone likes single or double quotes better.
"fucks given" counter is fixed at 0.
everybody prefers it (ok, sometimes after a while sometimes)
of course there is still some more conventions to do for us humans.
IMHO the most critical ones.
like naming or even casing (camel, snake, kebab, - which one works where), but taking out most of the "so what" decisions takes discussions to a much more resonable level.6 -
Concierge shopping service in 2001. You input what you want and your budget and a human concierge will research and get you the best deal with coupons, rebates, etc. The idea was good before e-commerce algorithms got better. Before that you had to find good prices across numerous sites on your own and it was super tedious, hence my idea. Also, it wasn’t scalable as it depended on humans way too much.
-
Human-robot studies suck.
Like, why do I even have to compare dumbass humans to computers? Or why should I even make my robot human friendly? Why can't humans be robot friendly? Example: Robot says beep, you get out of the way. Why should the poor robot do so much planning because humans are too stupid to move out of the way? How is this fair?7 -
You know what scary? In about 10-20 years, We will perfect 3D renderings of people like the president, coupled with AI being trained to replicate vocals of humans.
I believe once this happens, Something should be in place where using a famous persons face/voice should be copyrighted or something.3 -
Reading book about sapiens history. It turned out we are slaved by wheat. Fucking plant conquered this world using humans as a tool. Fuck You wheat then, burn in hell.8
-
My boss, the IT Director told me someone's Word wasn't saving... Their Track Changes was on. #facepalm
-
Sometimes I worry about the impact AI will have on software development jobs in a future.
... then I see things like this and remember why humans don't deserve nice things.
3 -
I just read Jeff Bezos' article on Medium about how the ones at American Media are threatening him of leaking his private pictures.
As I was reading it, I felt, "Man, how low has journalism come to these days. Here is a guy who's worked so hard to build one of the world's biggest companies, and here are the ones at the National Enquirer trying to bring this man down."
To be honest, who gave them the right to indulge in a person's private life? Why do they have to say, "A nude selfie with his wedding ring on?" Maybe, he sent that image to his wife. This makes me wonder, "Is this the way we treat humans?"
Why are we concerned about what a man does in his personal life? What impact does taking down a man in public bring?
Thoughts, please!13 -
AI is never going to write code efficient like Humans do.
The whole AI, neural network bullshit is overrated.
Training a Network to recognize Images or playing Super Mario is far away from writing code.4 -
-- What if JavaScript never existed?
-- What if HTML was a programming language?
-- What if our data online isn't abstract but physical?
-- What if geeks have their own country?
-- What if humans exist and we are the aliens?
-- What if the internet is state-owned?
-- What if we could download food just like every other downloadables?
-- What if my VSCode won't kill me when switched to light theme?
-- What if there was no gender and the word "female" is just an alias for "male"?
-- What if bugs could find and fix themselves?
-- What if there's no need for an account password?
-- What if Linux was owned by Microsoft?
-- **What if I could tell my boss that I'm tired of his fucking job without actually telling my boss? This is the actual what if.**27 -
https://www.udacity.com/human
Udacity has launched understanding humans nanodegree register in that link it gets over by today.So please put all your current threads to sleep and start a task to understand humans.
Good Luck 😉😉3 -
So today Mozilla updated Firefox just to include an incomplete downloads tab? Dafuq are they thinking 😒2
-
Do you guys have any dark technology + war movie recommendations?
Something similar to Animatrix or the Necrons lore from the Warhammer game. I especially like the ones where the humans get smart with the robots and they get their rectums pulled inside out and fed to them.
Like this: https://youtube.com/watch/...21 -
Behavioral economist. If I can't make computers do what I want, I want to figure out how to make humans do things instead.
-
No need for sleep or food, fluent knowledge of all languages, no code errors, and ability to socialize with other humans.
-
Could someone finally make remote controlled bed that transform to armchair and can ride around the house so I don’t have to get up to grab a beer or open the door....
I want to ride to fridge and get back with some beef jerky without using my muscles.
Damn technology is always aiming for stuff that nobody needs.9 -
Are you planning on entering politics?
Because your documentation is dishonest, doesn't mention side effects and is not meant to be read humans workout a law degree.
Your code on the other hand makes me question whether you try to troll us or whether you are actually unable to understand what you were supposed to do. -
My family supported me in as far as they happily fucked off out of my life a few years ago.
Neither of my parents were able to accept that I had anything other than ‘a little job in IT’ or that I actually knew more about development than they did. They both like to feel they are massively superior to the majority of other humans on the planet. To be fair to them it probably made me work harder to prove them wrong.
Good to see that some parents were supportive of their kids though. And to the ones that weren’t - it’s their loss!1 -
Imagine a world that only consists of humans with a developer mindset . Would it be a better or worse world?
Aside from all the food and production problems, let's say we automated it all.5 -
Refactoring is like dating. You have to remember stuff, maybe you're insecure and you may have to overcome yourself to actually do it.
But when it works out, it's great.2 -
FUCK YESSS I worked with a friend and we fixed everything wrong with my computer!!! Now I have Mint and windows too, so... Much... Config stuff....5
-
Humans are so complex and hard to understand. Wish I can create a personal AI bot so they won't betray or hurt my feelings.
-
I wonder how many electrons have dedicated part of their existence so I can watch cat videos on YouTube...1
-
How can a shitty student information system that already costs $20k/yr have an optional shitty SOAP API module, that only allows read access to records, that has an initial setup fee of $5k plus $5k/yr?!5
-
Create something that will take humanity forward. Not just a utility software but make things that'll help solve the biggest problems humans as a society face - poverty, hunger, loneliness, pollution etc. All these problems are on my radar.
The idea is to use science to solve social problems. And not just stop at that. Make things that will help humans evolve into the next evolutionary phase.2 -
i find comforting hearing good villain AI videogame dialogues.
for example, morpheus in deus ex.
one obvious reason is that the voice representation has an unrushed pace and low tone.
another more significant reason is that there are no emotions affecting the course of thought of an AI
because of that, villain AI characters can describe brutal but possibly actual aspects of humans without flinching.
as a developer or person, that is a commodity because you want to be as objective as possible.
if you had no feelings of self doubt, fear, laziness, shallowness, then you'd become an exceptional free man3 -
After listening to the deadmau5 plane crash story on h3h3 this exact thought play went on in my mind.
The universe wants to be uniform. Everything is the same, nothing reacts anymore.
Humans like the complete opposite. We like complexity and entropy. We create and we destroy.
But we are part of the universe.
So if you break this down into absolute math statements, they are contradicting.
So are we breaking the equasion?
Or are we part of the equasion?
...Are we the universe's self made antidote to itself?2 -
I think I've began to notice a human behaviour.
When you are a beginner and want help with something, no one wants to help..
But once you aren't a beginner, folk want to help !
What gives !
Is it because as humans, we don't want to help folk who might turn out useless, we only want to make sure bets, and help someone who already doesn't really need help..
Sort of jumping on the bandwagon type thing..
Sucks when you are beginner and no one wants to help you !30 -
Long time ago...
I've been migrating users to new Exchange server along with the whole AD domain and such.
I knew that most of the ppl there were out in the field working. I needed to confirm that email is working after switching MX record. The person who was in the office for sure was kind of reluctant to reply fast to my emails.
So I've written an email that stated:
"Dear user,
Your computer is infected with a <whatever the latest globally spreading threat to humans was back then>. Please contact your admin as soon as possible."
Guess what... I've received a call in record time. I did my best to explain the email to the customer while trying not to burst in tears laughing.
Not my most professional moment.1 -
I wish there was some 'sudo shut-the-fuck-up' which would shutdown the entire internet network, for humans to realise that it's important to step out of the pixels into the real world.5
-
I am part of a Slack group with dev friends all a lot better than I am. So I write my problem there. After they're done (playfully) mocking me, I am so frustrated that I usually find a perfectly obvious solution when I look back at my thing.
Or I use them as digital rubber humans.1 -
Had been to an interview today. It was renowned Bank which was hiring for a position of SSE.
You know what!! I was not allowed inside the building because I was not carrying my original driving license with me. What the fuck?? 😡😠Even traffic police won't ask for an original license!! (at least in India)5 -
Join a military organization set on keeping peace between humans and machines, and then, when people disband our team because they live in peace, become a vigilante.
++ if you know who's this2 -
So I had to chuckle at this: https://www.devrant.io/rants/93746
My gf asked what was up. I tried explaining OOP to her (she does not have any coding knowledge) and I used the following example:
Let's say there is a class humans, you are an instance of that class and so am I. There are certain variables like hair color and height and those are different for you and me. There are also functions that we both can do and those are defined in the class.
I thought it was a neat idea. -
Do cartoon characters with four fingers per hand (and assuming only two arms) naturally think in octal? Or is it just a happy coincidence that humans developed base 10 because we (normally) have 10 fingers?1
-
Connect my brain and communicate to any computer telepathically.
Not humans, I don't want human brains.
But computers. Sweet little bad-ass machines. -
Anyone got some decent book or scientific papers to read about how looking at phone screens affect human brain ? Might be also about watching tv because I don’t see the difference, despite the size of the screen.
It’s cause I started to think that either me or everyone around is complete idiot.1 -
Have you ever had a subject in university that is very interesting but the lecturer has such a way of explaining things that you begin to wonder that he is a robot trying to imitate humans? Really nice guy in person though.1
-
I really value the skills, experience and time of my brothers and sisters here at Devrant. So I ask questions sparingly.
What is a really good website sketch/blueprint software that I can use to collaborate with non-techie humans.
Thank you for your time.
Have a great day fellow devranters.3 -
okay just had a mind blown moment.
there are never 'technical errors'
everything is human error.
because at some point, a human started/caused whatever went wrong.
whether it was the fact that a human didn't account for something or made bad code, or made bad hardware,
every tech issue is a human one.
:/4 -
AAAAAAAA I want to talk with my friends about programming and software, but there is only one friend who understands even a BIT (Rest he doesn't just care about probably). It's driving me crazy that i can't talk with any of my friends about programming, because they don't know shit about it. I really can't make new friends either because i somehow have forgotten how to talk to humans (i'm extremely introverted lol). It's paiful when you have to explain a programming meme.8
-
I want to rant about it but I don’t even know what to say.
It’s just sad that people share the most personal things with Facebook and other services as long as it’s not a person who asks for it.
It’s just a machine who knows me better than my parents do.
OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES.
Who is behind the machine? Humans.
It’s 2019. Soon 2020.
They still don’t get it.
That’s what you should teach those kids. A class “how to protect your privacy”..
Not this Shit: : if I Buy 20 melons that contain 70% water, they loose 1% each mile. You carry them for 15 miles. 5 of those miles are in the sun which makes the water vaporize 5x faster. How much fruit exclusive water is left at the end?
WHO THE FUCK CARES? We have cooling boxes and cars.
Focus on something important please..1 -
More than 50% of my work is due to the fact people don't do what they are suppose to do.
"Joe is suppose to submit report X every week. He hasnt been keeping up so make a script that reminds him if he's late. Better yet make a tool so Joe doesn't waste those 3 minutes every week."
Me: Tell him to do his job.
"But we need you to do it"
Me: Fine
"Suzie is complaining she does this menial task"
Me: She was hired to do that.
"Can we automate it?"
Me: No
"X is broken"
Me: I know. Group Y isn't doing what they are suppose to.
"Go talk to them so you can see why they aren't doing it. Then bend over backwards so you can handle these kinds of issues due to their laziness in the future."
Me: Fine...4 -
I would really like to know the backstory on why Boeing just completely skipped integration testing on a craft designed to carry humans to the ISS. This seems particularly egregious and is an indicator of just how comfortable companies get when they’ve entrenched themselves with government largesse. https://orlandosentinel.com/space/...5
-
!rant
Today is the day, i'll finish up all the contract work that sits on my desk, cash in the money and finish up the free website i made for a befriended gamedev.
I've been sooo angry about other humans over the week but escaping into development and helping the few friendly humans out there is making me calm again.
If anyone of you feels down, grab a tee, clean your desk, take a bath and just start coding silly things, or try to help a mate in need. :-)1 -
I really don't like the atmosphere in hospitals. Only thing I like about hospitals are the beautiful nurses and doctors, esp those who look in the eyes when talking.
If you think about it, basically what a doctor is to a humans or animals is same as what a computer technician is to a computer.
Maybe a dozen decades down the future, the reality may be such that there will be a convergence between the doctors and computer technicians as humans start integrating humanoid elements in their body.
I think it's l inevitable.2 -
Stupid useless humanities courses, because, really, who cares about humans? Besides that, silly Excel questions at work, my boss talking of his non-work projects and devrant (because it is not a #wk51 rant without saying it)
-
Well my greatest mentor has been bad experiences. Its always there, lurking in the corner to mentor me. And well i do take a lesson or two, now and then to keep me afloat.
As they say- what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.
Human mentors have been missing from my life. Superheroes don't exist :-/ -
!dev
„Keep 2m distance“...
Funny.. as if I would get that close to other humans..
Jokes aside, I feel uncomfortable if I’m less than 1.5m to another person and I avoid touching at all cost by nature.. Except for family but they are not in my country anyway. I think I’ll be fine..
#ImALonelyBastard5 -
Was learning a bit AI today and then i thought.. who's actually learning more here? Me about the ai or ai about humans (me) 😐4
-
The more I live on this world the more I believe human genome was send by someone to destroy this planet because they want to build intergalactic spa for giants with lots of sand and large pool.1
-
Geek+Religious thought.
I just realised, god shares a stack of karmas with everyone.
For each time i am doing good / being good with other humans/creatures , he would add x amount of good experiences for me. When i start being too arrogant/egoistic, he would add y amount of bad experiences for me.
That's why even when being wrong, i would still be sometimes getting even more rewards and while being good ,i would still be getting the shit experiences11 -
When friends ask me to do some coding...
Them: I want/need this and that and... [trillions of features and "cool" stuffs]
Me: ...okay
Them: Oh and this and that and [more "cool" stuff]
Me: Alright.. when do you need it?
Them: something around a week?
Is it just me or does everyone -not- accustomed to coding think that projects are usually done in a few days...?
Maybe the common opinion about coders is something like: They aren't humans, they are machines which convert caffeine during night time to source code3 -
Someone had created a program in VB that was used to properly format files for EFTs for a while. It wasn't working with a particular file, so I just ended up reverse-engineering it in Python.
-
Currently we have to make a new REST API at work. I want to have a clear and functional API (with HAL JSON, that is given). But my colleagues don’t like this, because they don’t like the design (the look and feel) of the HAL JSON responses. They just want an easy API with a nice design, so they want to ignore half of the HAL JSON specification. But a REST API don’t has to be easy and don’t need a fancy design, REST APIs are not for humans but for computers! How can I explain this to them?3
-
Heads up , not a tech rant
So I now know what you should say if your kid asks what kind of person you should or should not be
So in the picture (sorry it isn’t clear , was taken late night after work) was a common parking area , the bikes parked you see are parked leaving space between at least for 2 more bikes. The owners usually park it that way cos they are too lazy to “properly park”. I confronted them last month and they said they’ll look into it , they have been contacted by various people from my area about this mattter , but it seems they don’t think it matters
So kids , learn to be considerate and not a douche bag , learn to listen and act , not act and listen , and last of all , learn to be a better person , that’s what humans have been trying to do for hundreds of years
1 -
My most recent side project is meant to be a lighthearted thing with a dynamic subdomain where anyone can type [whatever-subdomain-they-want].is.obviously.best or [whatever-subdomain-they-want].are.obviously.best or [whatever-subdomain-they-want].is.not.obviously.best or [whatever-subdomain-they-want].are.not.obviously.best.
I have a list of political terms and people that route to an HTML page that says “[subdomain] has been flagged as political. The creator of this site intended this domain to be used to spread joy and merriment and feels that pushing political agendas undermines that intent.”
I have sentiment analysis in combination with a disallow list on is/are (positive, rather than is.not and are.not) routes that if the subdomain is flagged as negative by sentiment analysis or matches a term in the disallow list, it serves an HTML page that says “[subdomain] is/are NOT obviously best. What the hell is your problem?”
Sentiment analysis only goes so far and it’s hard for it to catch a lot of things (since it’s a small amount of input) and I’m not confident that I’ll think of all of the possible things that really shouldn’t resolve to is/are OBVIOUSLY best.
Is there anything you guys can think of that should be on the disallow list?
If it helps, the disallow list so far is https://raw.githubusercontent.com/A...16 -
My mouse/keyboard(+numpad) combo.
Why does Microsoft think that everyone needs a dedicated key to open the calculator?! I have one on both my keyboard (top-right) and the separate numpad. I used to press the calculator button by mistake when going for backspace - remapped it now.
2 -
1. The power you have with it.
With that, I mean solving your own or someone else's issues.
Be it automation, parsing weird formats, or anything else, it can usually be achieved by coding something for the task.
2. The logic (when compared to humans).
Unlike humans, code does what it's told to do. Us humans, well, we often misinterpret things. Code, however, usually has a single meaning.
3. How things can be improved over time.
Finding a way do something faster and implementing it is really satisfying.4 -
I dunno if any of my choices have been "bad". Humans are great at explaining things to themselves to feel better. Narratives is our strength and we love them.
In hindsight everything seems to be a correct choice and kinda makes sense. For everything else is just a lesson to learn from.2 -
That we all fail and for every time you think someone else is stupid or falls into mistakes, you will fall into your own mistakes and be stupid in front of someone else, no one is perfect, we are all humans and at the end our work is to tell machines what to do and if they do it wrong, it's because we told them to do it that way and we are wrong.
-
Best way to get in the zone: a meditation smoke, mountain dew, a lack of humans to distract me, loud music and most importantly a problem.
You put a decent enough problem in front of me and I'm in front of the screen for days before I realize I need to eat.1 -
Casting never worked well with humans. On the other hand, programmers don't mind working with it.
Hance:
Programmers != humans2 -
In the perfect future machines would do all the work... Everyone would have enough food, a house, a vehicle and lots of hobbies (cause there isn't work to keep us busy). In truth because machines are programmed by humans and humans are self destructive the rich will survive and live a good, work free live, the rest will live below the poverty line, scrapping anything to get something to eat... Remember Elisium?2
-
Out of the frying pan, into the fire:
So in my first job, I thought it's just us operating so crazy: meddling with arcane C/C++ code from the 80's, shooting our code to production without testing, fixing hundred of customers data base entries by hand, letting an intern alter some core component (to have more logging) and directly push it to prod...
Silly me.
I mean I suspected, that maybe it's not only this tiny little company acting wild, that also the bigger companies with all their ISO certified processes, agile blabla, professional tooling whatsoever - will also have their skeleton in the closet,.. like some obscure assembler part buried in the heart of your code base nobody dares to touch...
How Pieter Hintjens asked about the state of the industry and all the fads so bluntly put it:
"It's all bullshit."
But we are humans, so we better jump on the bandwagon if we want to keep our jobs... and somehow try to keep that trashy house of cards from crashing down. -
Well apparently devs won't last.
Now hear me out without any prior judgement.
Machine learning is booming up at a rapid rate and not long enough for it to formulate meaning to words like humans do. That's when the downhill for devs would start.13 -
Over the last few years, i explored the DMZ between dev's world and customer's world. It is a DMZ where both are in contact, ones trying to convince the others to invest on them, and i was just shocked !
People are so stupid and Elitist, they think that an ultimate great godly dev exist !
It is totally fake for sure, they image that a good have to know absolutely everything about all the damn languages (while everyone googles every single comment received, even the most "advanced" dev)
I am shocked to see how people apply their everyday life metrics to the dev's world, i mean, there are a lot of devs around, everyone coding his way to self-improvement, we are all different, we have trends, and we can definitly define groups of developers and types of developers, but people think that a good dev have to come from silicon valley ! Does it means that a dev coming from Vladivostok is less worth ? even he is more dynamic in his approach ? even if he yields more results in terms of solutions ? (SV devs tends to be too much technical, while russians tends to be in the heart of action directly).
Common people shouldn't mess with what they know nothing about, and stay at their "Consumer" position. -
Some times I get these weird ideas.
The machines now rule the world and they decided humans will not be able to program them anymore. That's why they enslaved you as part of the committee which will create the next computer language: Cryptic Script.
What feature would you add to it?
(try something real)
I'll starting by saying Cryptic Script is dynamically typed.6 -
There are two typed of computer users; ones that use capslock to capitalize the first letter in their words and the ones that uses shift. I don't count people that doesn't capitalize properly humans so I excluded them.3
-
I hate, hate, hate sockets! All the mysterious way they can fail. The subtleties, different API's if you switch between Linux to Mac, etc.
If the communication between (supposedly) deterministic machines is already such a clusterfuck, how do we even get sentences across humans and act as if we understood?8 -
Humans need to create and program robots because soon they are going to sexually incompetent to reproduce.6
-
Happy Towel Day, guys. Here's to humans, mice, Betelgeusians, and believers of The Coming Of The Great White Handkerchief.
-
!rant
I think I'm at the final stage of grief where I want to destroy the entire human population . Economy , money and other factors like alcohol ... we as humans don't deserve to live . Controlling population growth with addiction is just messed up .
Even though the alcohol killed my dad , he was a really good person who was under such amounts of pressure that no-one deserves . Actually strike that everyone deserves much more . A tenant who occupied our property just as we needed to sell it for cash problems . His father stole his inheritance left behind by his mother . And relatives who didn't give a shot about him until he makes a trip to the hospital . An economy that's responsible for all this .
I want to rewrite this disgraceful race .9 -
Arrays start at 0, so do humans lifes... Therefore we're just senseless arrays in the database called earth.sql. Depressive thoughts🤔3
-
The one thing I'm happy about is the fact that humans have agreed on time itself. 12 months and 12 hours. 60 minutes, and 60 seconds.2
-
My mentor to me when I joined the job fresh out of college (in a somewhat dramatic tone, which is why I remember it so vividly):
"Gone are the days when you wrote programs with a small number of big functions, and lots of comments. Write code which is easy to read by humans - small functions which do 1 thing and are named after the 1 thing it does."
TL,DR: well named modular code. -
My colleague is actually on vacation... But nevertheless he is kind of working from home...
He is forwarding me emails that I think he wants me to answer / take care about just to realize he already did everything...
People constantly come to me with problems they just discussed with him and think that I know about it.
No I don't!
Am I the only person not calling or emailing my colleague? He is on vacation! God damnit...
I hate humans...1 -
Our robot overlord. Humans are corruptible. An algorithm would not care about monetary benefit, using drugs, or sexy times for itself.1
-
Feeling very optimistic today.
Set up in a quiet library with no other humans around. This is going to be a productive damn day!
Gonna learn to do some cool stuff I've never done before, and make some headway on some things I've been neglecting for a while.
Got a big thing of coffee, lunch squared away.
Feels like the world is at my fingertips.
(this has been a positive rant) -
When my e-commerce system built for a school didn't calculate totals properly at launch and I had to take it down, re-charge people, and re-launch the next day.
-
Stupid monkey-shit-eating faggot! Choke on a flabby, pulsating camel genital while the balls beating your ugly face. We supposed to be business partners, still all your promises mean a fucking cheesburger from a syphilitic pub you arrogant shame of humankind!!!! Did I say we don't have time for this or that project in time. FUCKING YES!!! Did you care. NO! Did I say write a proper contract with the client?????!!!! DID I?? Still I've done my best with everything beeing hell of a priority! Did I missed some bugs yeah I fuckin did. And after all the shit I have pulled you out you dare to fucking cry for the investors because the company not producing enough profit BECAUSE OF FUCKING ME?????? You peace of bloody phlegm!!! Where are we??!!! Clappy clap. In fucking kindergarden?!!! Okay I am done with this shit I dont care promising commision... I am out. Jobs in Hungary at a reliable company with decent humans?! I fucking hate this world full of people like this cockroach!!!!4
-
22:37
Idea!
I want to program a simulator of generations of humans!
So... dead, alive, probability, and anything else!
But this... Tomorrow.
Goodnight developers!6 -
#justAThought #non_dev
i wonder what would be the circumstances which lead to evolution of the most meek , fruit eating creatures (monkey) into the smartest, flesh eating carnivore (humans).
Did they just felt comfortable walking on 2 feet instead of 4?was this just an idea of some curious group of monkeys?
Imagine if in a parallel universe, their are lions who came up with this idea...and
Behold, in a parallel universe instead of us ,big vegan monster lion-humans are reading this post.(Vegan because why not?Its evolution)9 -
Every day in our standup bullshit, we have a few of our offshore team join via Skype. It always fucks up somehow, bad connection, quiet volume or dropped connections, all of which are quite hilarious but today a new benchmark was set.
We (the humans physically there) all did our standup, then it was over to the offshore team.
A voice came out of the speakers which sounded like someone had applied an effect to a spoken mp3 which slowed it down to about 10% speed. It was deep AF and slow AF and I couldn't speak properly after it for approximately 40 minutes 😂
My eyes were all red and puffy from literally crying with laughter.
Best. Standup. Ever. -
I have been struggling with managing and keeping track of config secrets and keys. I know that keeping secrets in code is bad karma, but managing them with environment variables becomes cumbersome with multiple microservices running on multiple servers. To worsen this, add humans and access levels.
Whenever I Google, I feel like I am the only one who has this problem. Do you guys sometimes feel like this?
If you have any solutions, hacks or services that you use, please recommend.4 -
I started questioning the intelligence of humans and my existance on earth and after all that questioning I would actually say coding made me somewhat calmer and more curious.
-
I feel the need for a personal AI is real. I mean at this stage of my life I feel replacing humans around/close to me with a strong AI.
The idea is kinda creation of a strong AI but control its learning ability limited to one user.
Pros:
You have someone who understands you completely.
Knows what/how to talk no matter How's your mood.
Could be used to calm down the user even in critical situations.
Besides, if something doesn't workout just fucking tweak the code its yours no matter what the fuck you do with it.
Do I make sense??3 -
I wonder if programmers are control freaks or inventors or both...
Humans have got to be more complex then that? -
@dfox Was watching your live stream today and you talked about security... You should really add an HSTS preload directive to devrant.io to prevent spoofing.1
-
I wanted to get the latest NASA APOD photo with Python. Easy, right? Nope! Firstly, their RSS feed is partly HTML, so feedparser doesn't understand it. Secondly, feedparser doesn't even get the titles of entries correctly.
Which is why I'm trying to parse it in a horrible way using Python regexp. NASA can put humans on Luna but not even get their RSS feeds to parse properly.2 -
AWS ECS UI wasn't designed for machines or humans.
Created a task/service/cluster with default suggested Roles.
Service task fails to get image from ECR repository using the said permissions suggested in the docs defined in the default roles.
You only had one job. 😠
How not GTD. -
Revolution of Communication/Chat/Data
Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, Messenger, Snapchat, LinkedIN, ETC
WE BASICALLY ARE BRINGING SKYNET TO LIFE.
AI REV HAS BEGUN!!!
Yaayyyy, the day Humans can live peacefully, and Date the right person, is sooo close.1 -
I teach the AI to code and after that I mentor it.
Just a matter of time when I amongst all humans become obsolete 😔 -
Give A.I ability to have emotions...once they are embedded with human error wait for sometime ...
Months later A.I's are ranting about how humans are taking their jobs.. -
Get a good deal with a coffee suplier, you will neeed a lot but a lot of coffee to keep working litle those humans do.1
-
I created a custom interface for an LMS that allows students to see their marks even if they haven't been 'shared' yet by their teachers. This is all done without accessing any unauthorized apis, as the LMS always returns all student marks and then hides the ones with a False 'shared' key. School administration caught me, so I've now shut it down. I have a meeting with the deans tomorrow. Any advice? (Again, this is all done using existing methods found within this LMS)5
-
Me: "How could I handle all these conditions? Would I be somehow able to implement them in the database so my code could just grab it there?"
Mentor: "No, that would be impossible"
Me: "Oh how about I just save them as a valid question in the db and the user will have to answer!"
Mentor: "No, you're supposed to automate that process for the user."
Guess I have to hard code it and can't rely on the good old humans.5 -
Looking at AI and regarding the stop button problem. (computerphile video about the stop button problem: https://youtube.com/watch/...)
And looking at Skynet from Terminator.
There is some chance that the goal condition for the AI was that humans don't press the stop button.
And Skynet's biggest goal is to prevent humanity to press this button by exterminating humanity.
So, the film writers are actually this one time totally justified to have a heavily guarded room with nothing but a big red button which instantly brings victory for humanity when pressed.
Critics will hate this "deux ex machina", but computer scientists and AI researchers will be like: "Ehm, actually, that makes a lot of sense." -
If the super power had created humans without the necessity of sleep, how many hours do you think your employer would ask you to work in a day?6
-
have you ever had a time when you coded for like a week and just stood at home and survived the week on 12 slices of bread and chees, and then after those days go back into the world and be like
😀, i just talked to a human being1 -
Hello to everybody. I used to be on this site like every day. I rejoined data lounge after accepting that everybody there gets their arses flamed and it's like initiation. But they're still mean.
I hope we are collectively not losing our fucking minds with this shite virus. I am uneasy. Something's not adding up.
I haven't felt this way for over 50 years, and that was during America's pig headed remaining in Vietnam rather than pulling out and letting Red China just fucking eat North Vietnam as a snack.
I've never had a sense that I don't know where things are going. And that those who should be able to tell us something are fucked up firecrackers with wet diapers.
Whilst I've never been overly fond of humans to begin with, I can only wait and see how long it takes for reason to prevail.
Peace out.
Jonno -
I think the biggest bullshit about work life and beginning of a career is that at the start of your new job, colleagues and employers keep telling you that everything's gonna be fine and that things come with time and you'll learn and grow as you go on.
Not true. If you just cruise along and you don't maintain your skills, sooner or later they're going to ask you to do something you don't have the skills for, you won't be able to do it or anything remotely like it because you don't have the know-how and the result is: you get fired. I should know because I've never once not been fired; I'm up to 5 jobs now. lol
There is almost no greater example that demonstrates humans are liars.6 -
Next year goals:
1. Learn how to use Macintosh.
2. Learn better Linux.
3. Finish an android app that I am too bored to finish.
4. Evolve social skills for Humans. -
Existence is pain, and since you cannot take anybody's consent before giving them birth -- humans should not reproduce.
I have thought this over, would love to see if anyone can find holes in the premise or the conclusion.24 -
Humans are the one who moves to an area and multiplies. Multiply till the last natural resource is consumed. We are not human. WE ARE MORE LIKE VIRUS.14
-
When people use my life as a basis to judge that theirs is better, should I be proud of it, or feel sad about it 😅😅6
-
coding has changed my point if view of life on how to solve problems and work with humans on a level playing field. that and that
there always will be more stupidity in logical code constructs each and every line you discover as time goes by. -
"Webpack not working if its Monday"
https://github.com/JeffreyWay/...
I don't see the issue here? Not working on Monday is completely expected behavior, at least for humans. Why shouldn't this apply to software? -
What kind of innovation approach has helped humanity in a better way? Is it some group of obscure indie devs working overnight to write some software which is free, useful and purposeful devoid of licensing shit or the too-honorary-to-shit-from-arse organizations which put marketing gimmicks like making world better place and which compromise user data either to governments or to other corporations for monetizing given the first chance. If innovation is happening in both the spectrums then what is the viable kind of required innovation at the moment for us humans. IMHO I don't trust corporate innovation and shitty innovations happening in Facebook, Google and likes. Has corporate greed bought innovation for market price.1
-
So I've been working on a game for the past months (if I were to add up the time I actually worked) and was really self-concious that it isn't good enough to pass for a demo. I then spoke to devs who were showcasing their games and said they've been working on them for 1.5-2 years. I suddenly no longer feel bad and like a lazy piece of shit.
-
This is mostly a self rant, rather rant on self.
TL;DR I should talk to more people from the dev community.
So basically for a few years now I'm mostly investing my time in tech. More so into open source stuff and the linux eco system. I'm pretty sure anyone who ever came in touch with this would have atleast thought of contributing something, and so did I. In my case the problem was that of communication.. It's one of those things I'm really bad and ofcourse there is the issue of overthinking too. All these years I survived by just googling stuff and refraining from any direct conversation with an other human while solving a problem.. As you may have guessed it this wad a horrible and sub optimal thing to do. Humans know a lot more about context.. I guess a part of the reason for being so hesitant was the fear of being wrong. sigh -
Watching nature recycle itself into precise movements of insects and birds in the same places over the years because humans are doing EXACTLY the same things over those years, yet again, makes me feel like i'm in a damn simulator where some logic issue is causing everything to loop.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
kind of like that.
except in the sense that tons of people moving about in scheduled lives is creating a continuous circle we're all getting caught in that is spreading out and animal life and even weather are in sync with it.
and it never used to be this way until a group of fucked up sadists decided to make it this way.6 -
[dying] I came here with a simple dream...a dream of killing all humans. And this is how it must end? Who's the real seven billion ton robot monster here? Not I... Not I...
-- Bender Rodriguez --
(Futurama) -
@dfox not sure if this is a reported issue already but images show up as just black when opened on Android P.16
-
It's been some months and I've been working with data, I'm in charge of the data migration and after 4 months into the job, they tell me that the data is sometimes transformed but they do not have a tool to validate the data, instead they do it manually.
When I said, that if we do it manually, it'll be prone to human error. My team says that humans make errors.
They're basically checking 2 rows of the database manually and then pray. That's their way of testing/validating the data.
Couple years back when I was in college, we used to talk about code quality or whatever but I don't think that's followed anywhere.
Developers are lazy. That's the fucking truth.1 -
good thing about working from home all weekend is that on Monday at work you don't have that shitty feeling "it's fucking Monday".
Plus, you meet some humans after 2 days in the cave2 -
Sometimes I think the my friend asked/had an idea rants are bullshit.
Maybe I just doesn't want to see the truth... Are humans really that dumb
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View