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*client calls in*
Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: my ip is blocked, could you unblock it for me?
Me: certainly! What's your ip address? Then I'll have a look.
Client: I'm not giving you my ip?! That's too privacy sensitive.
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: sir, I'm very keen on my privacy myself but without that information I can't do much for you 😬
Client: ah so you're refusing to help me?
Me: not like that, it's just very hard to lift an ip block for me when I don't know the ip address.
Client: you just don't want to help, fine.
*click*
😶32 -
Client: I dont want you to rush. Okay?
Me: Okay sir.
Client: But I need it tomorrow.
Whaaaaaaat????8 -
Interviewer: "Do you know Xamarin?"
Me: "I mean I know C# but not app development"
Interviewer: "You're hired!"
Thats pretty much how my interview went12 -
Friend: Dude, css is so cool and amazing. I love it
Me: Erm ye, okay...
Friend: I think, im gonna make a css program to save data to database. That would make it even cooler!
Me: ye, okay. Wait what?! Hahahahaha
Friend: ??? Why u laughing13 -
I still believe more people would use the voice assistant if they replaced "Okay Google" with "Operator".
6 -
This might sound cliché, but my dad. I called him Pop. He was a COBOL programmer, and he taught me the fundamentals. He would bring home his work and debug on paper, and I was his rubber duck.
When I got older, we were each other's rubber duck. Whenever I was stuck, he'd throw a suggestion out that might have seemed off base at first, but was somehow related to what I was working on.5 -
Me - okay mom im going to sleep don't bother me.
Mom - okay goodnight sweet heart.
Me - *puts on headphone , have a cup of coffee and begin to code*13 -
Don't BS your managers or peers about your understanding of a topic.
It is okay to not know something. It is not okay to pretend that you do.3 -
[Extremely off topic]
Hi, Michelle's back and alive. You probably don't remember me, but that's okay. :)68 -
Probably isn't a righteous rant... But there's a new guy who shakes his leg... All day... Makes my screen wobble... All day... Trying to think about about my code... But thoughts being shaken to the floor... All. Goddamn. Day.
*sigh*20 -
Client: My email not working
Me: What error message you getting
Client: Nothing, it's just stuck on Outbook
Me: Is your Internet working?
Client: Yes, of cause am not that stupid
Me: No! No! just asking as checkup
Client: Okay
Me: Open your Internet Browser and goto Google or Facebook
Client: Okay hold on..I am getting message "There is no Internet Connection"
Me: Yea, your Internet is not working that's why email can't be send. Talk to your IT Guy or Internet Provider about it.
Client: Okay, thanks!3 -
Emailed client asking for access to his Magento storefront.
Client emailed me the following response.
Yes, what is your email?9 -
VP: We're going to have HR join the call.
Me: Okay. *Shrug*
(HR Joins)
VP: I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. I'll need you to return your laptop.
Me: Okay. *Shrug*
VP: ...
HR: ...
HR: Do you want to know why we're letting you go?
Me: Nah. Bye.
After five years of working in terrible conditions for terrible to mediocre people, I accepted losing my job without worry. In a way, I was thankful.
I wanted to quit so many times.
I'm much happier these days.6 -
I’ve had a complicated relationship with my mother for as long as I remember and made the decision years ago to more or less cut her out of my life. I thought if anything happened to her, I’d be okay, that it wouldn’t affect me.
But my mum died on Sunday.
And I’m not okay.15 -
Okay.. that was much more than what I had asked for..
Courtsey : An Indian vehicle manufacturing service request portal..
3 -
Mom: "What's this thing?" *hands me her phone*
Me: *sees dialog saying something about com.google.gms or so draining battery with obvious okay button*
Me: "...just press Okay."5 -
What do you think about a digital assistant made by the NSA, for example for people with dementia?
It would be accessible everywhere and it would know everything
and it could result in some nice dialogues:
>> "Okay NSA?"
"Yo, I'm always listening."
>> "I forgot to take some nice pictures from my last vacation, do you have some for me? D:"
"Of course, here ya go."
And you could even trigger it without a keyword.
>> *Walks to the fridge*
"Hey, you've already been at the fridge 45 minutes ago and since then you haven't bought anything."
>> "Thank you NSA"7 -
Why do people talk so much in the real world. I'm okay with yes/no questions. Talking face to face is exhausting for me. Leave me alone. I'm okay with chat too.
Can't tell these to anybody for real tho.
Sighs.7 -
deadmau5 exclusive on tidal streaming.
Fuck, okay.
*Sign up*
>> enters email, password
>> redirect to different signup page
>> enters email, password
>> redirect to original signup page
>> ????
>> enters email, password
>> redirect to second signup page again
>> ????????????
>> try to login
>> enters email, password
>> nope
>> listen to preview of album
>> please enable flash
>> okay, fuck you, deadmau5.9 -
!rant
Storytime!
I'm on the phone with an elderly customer.
Customer: Yes, I just got my computer back and now it's not talking to my monitor.
Me: Okay, and the monitor cable is plugged in?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Okay, I think I remember that you had a graphics card. Do you have a horizontal blue port?
Customer: No.
Me: Okay. So let's look near the middle of your computer. Do you see a blue port?
Customer: I don't know. I know the blue monitor cable is plugged in, but I don't know what color it is.
Me: Alright, let's unplug the cable for a second.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now let's look for those two blue ports...
Customer: I only see one.
Me: And it's near the middle of the computer?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Okay, let's plug the monitor in.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now does the monitor come up with anything?
Customer: Let me get to where I can see it... No, there's nothing.
Me: Even if you wiggle the mouse a little?
Customer: What?
Me: Does the computer talk to the monitor if you move the mouse a little?
Customer: How do I do that?
Me: ...You take the mouse... and move it from side to side
Customer: Oh! I understand. Um, no. Nothing.
Me: Okay, well let's bring the computer in. I think I know what the problem is, I just need to put a piece of tape somewhere.
Customer: Oh, okay. Fine.2 -
X: What do you wanna earn?
Me: Well the average is $$$.
X: Okay. We will pay you $.
Me: ... okay.... .... ... ... -_-''5 -
Boss: I have a demo NOW, but there os an error message on that page.
Me: okay, give me sometime to elaborate the problem..
Boss: No No please, this is urgent
Me: Okay..
My code:
5 -
Me : it is 12 A.M. now. I should sleep.
Mind : Okay. 10 more minutes.
Me : (At 12:30) Okay. I will sleep now.
Mind : 10 more minutes, please.
Me: (At 4 A.M.) i should sleep now.
Mind : LOL. 10 more....2 -
OKAY MICROSOFT EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE FUCKING FUCK WINDOWS CREATION TOOL WILL ONLY DOWNLOAD TO THE C:\ DRIVE?
12 -
Story of my life when I am really interested in a company:
Company: let's have a call to get to know each other.
Me: okay.
Company during the call: takes a technical interview
Company *a few days later*: now let's have a technical call!
Me: okay
Company during call: asks to design GOOGLE in GOOGLE DOC (??!!?!)
Company *a few days later*: now let's have a Development Test!
Me: okay
Company *sends an email* asking to complete a task which should take a week to develop in a few hours
Me: okay...
Company *a few weeks later*: Sends a generic email saying they got another person who is a better fit.
Me: ffs..16 -
Not Dev
My passport appointment date was 26/03/2021 and i saw only 26.
Travelled 100 kms for this mistake yesterday. 😭😭3 -
-Problem
-searching everywhere
-complicated algorithms
-almost there ...
My little sister: hey! Can you install this game on my tablet?
Me: no! I'm busy right now
Sister: mom!!...
Me: okay! okay!
<installation process >
...
What was I doing?...
That's how everything gets ruined :/7 -
Today, during deployment on server without remote access:
Me (on the phone calling our data centre Admin): "There's a permissions mismatch. The following paths need write access from the following users..."
Admin: "Okay, okay, slow down... I'm still in the elevator." - 10 minutes later - "Okay, ready."
And I gave him the paths and he said: "Try now."
And I tried and it still didn't work. And then we tried all that again. And again. And finally he said:
Admin: "Okay, I give up, I'm going back down to get the screen."12 -
Landlord sends me an invoice through GitHub.
Landlord: I've pushed this year's rent.
Me: Okay, successfully pulled.
Landlord:
1 -
Me : "Hey, your class is internal, I can't call it remotely"
Other team : "Oh okay, wait *change it to public* Done, you can call it now"
*some days later*
Other team : "*switch back*"
Okay then, I guess it's a way to say "Fuck you" with commits2 -
DBMS teacher flunked me mostly because of bad handwriting. :|
It's okay because I already earn more then he does. :)6 -
To fellow OnePlus users:
If you're using OxygenOS (maybe even the preinstalled Cyanogenmod of the OP1), OnePlus is spying on you with a very creepy level of detail.
Full story (and a way to disable it): https://fossbytes.com/oneplus-spyin...14 -
!rant I pity anyone who may have overheard my interaction with a gecko that managed to sneak inside my house when I went to get a package on my doorstep last night around midnight
“Hey little guy, let’s try to get you to go back outside, okay? Nonononooo not that way, fella. Down the wall. DOWN. DO NOT CLIMB BACK UP. Okay. Yeah, see, there you go. Good job. OH MY GOD DO NOT DO THAT. Listen, I think you’re fucking cute, okay? BUT IF YOU CHARGE AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU TRIGGER MY FEAR RESPONSE AND YOU MAKE IT REALLY HARD FOR ME NOT TO KILL YOU. Hooooooly shit, little dude. You were so almost dead. Okay. Okay, yeah, go out the door. Door. Yesssss.”
closes door, only to realize little dude’s tail is still on this side
“OMG LITTLE DUDE, are you okay?!!” opens door, little dude sneaks back inside
“Noooooo you need to go outside. Come on, you know you want to go outside”
Finally managed coax him out the door and confirmed he’d cleared the doorway before closing and locking it.5 -
Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"
Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU3 -
Okay this XSS is actually pretty cool. And LiveOverflow obviously doesn't make it any worse 😉
https://youtu.be/lG7U3fuNw3A1 -
Am I the only one, who likes to hate the tester for sending back your code, when I should be greatful for him/her for finding bugs?
Replies from me by the amount I get my ticket back:
1: okay, sure, thanks
2: all right
3: oh, okay
4: what? still not okay?
5: how did you even catch that?
6: what the fu** is wrong with you?
7: you again???
8: die already!
9: <singing the frozen theme> Let it go, let it go!1 -
Okay then, everything's fine, I'm sure this is normal... Windows went to sleep mode while applying an update.3
-
I'm learning for a certification and found this while flipping through the glossary. Uhm... okay :D
5 -
ummm okay?
Can't blame them really. Most of the people are too stupid to understand that they have to press okay to proceed.
5 -
!rant && !dev
I am finally back home. My car was okay, house was okay, and I had electricity. Bad news: no internet connection. Looks like I have to use my phone for stack overflow.3 -
Was logging in my student account to check whether the system actually registered my admission and here I go.
And this is not just some college. This is a website every engineering student shall use throughout the country.
Also this is not the first time this happened.
1 -
Okay but consider this: hackerrank (or any other coding game), but you can use your favourite IDE.1
-
Work Computer antivirus marked FireFox as a remote code injection and blocked it. Okay then. Chrome it is?8
-
The four day rewrite of my codebase did... nothing...
No improvement. No detriment.
Just nothing...
Okay then.10 -
We want one system for all our branches with booking and (inserts 73 huge features crucial to business operations)
- okay, *sends quotation*
You know, we just want a custom made website with (insert 23 major features)
- okay, *sends quotation*
You know, we want a wordpress site, we can expand late
- ...2 -
javac *.java
28 errors? Okay..
Oh I closed my class too early.
javac *.java
Okay, only 8 errors.
Oh I forgot to close my switch.
javac *.java
19 errors?!
I can see why some people don't like Java.. >.<3 -
Okay okay, who really uses vim? I can barely finish vimtutor.
It’s dope but I don’t know if I could see myself doing any sort of web development efficiently on it.
Seems like it would take a solid month to be able to zip around.10 -
For the first time in a very long time, I am out of a software engineering job. I have no idea why I am handling this so well. I literally have no idea if I will get another job or not but for this month, I am working on myself and learning more on FP which is really fun btw. Is this maturity?9
-
Colleague: The user said this [Total line] is not the average she expected.
Me: Okay? But she knows that averages are weighted?
Colleague: I'm gonna call her.
... 30 minutes fast forward
Colleague: Okay she wants an average, but she wants us to divide it by something else.
Me: Okay? But she knows an average is the sum of one thing divided by the sum of another thing and not just anything?
Colleague: Yeah, she said she wants it to be kinda this in relation to that.
Me: Okay, so rather some percentage value?
Colleague: To be honest, she just wanted to reproduce this old Excel formula.
God has left this planet ... and I admire my colleague for not completely freaking out in the face of the user.3 -
Okay, I want everyone to write code related to the holidays below! I look forward to seeing responses6
-
Waiting for my demo video to finish compiling and trying not to think of awful reviews I'm gonna get on my paper next year. 😐 #AnxietyIsConsistentlyFun4
-
Convo b/w me & lecturer.
Me: Is one line that explains exactly what it does okay?
Him: No.
Me: Okay I'll make it a paragraph explaining it a lot more in detail...Is that okay?
Him: Nope, you need to elaborate for laymen.
I don't know what more I can add. Sick of useless documentation. Any one else have this problem?1 -
"npm i {name} - - save-dev"
-ERROR: "{name} needs {dependency} v5.0.1"
"Oh, okay, I install that one then, no problem"
"npm i {dependency@5.0.1} - - save-dev"
-ERROR: "{dependency@5.0.1} needs {dependency} v3.1.1}
"Oh, okay, makes sens I guess, I'll" install that one to then."
"npm i {dependency@3.1.1} - -save-dev"
ERROR:"Nah"
"Son of a.."8 -
Okay, managed to negotiate with my manager to deploy our first Lambda + Golang service. Muehehe. Let's have some fun!!!5
-
My manager sent me a Desktop screen without informing me and I also didn't ask for the same. Now, he wants me to use it. And i am like, WTF 😡😡. Who the fuck told you in ur dreams to send me this shit.8
-
Okay kinda excited today.. I am building my first android app on android studio.. any suggestions? Or comment/ feedback?8
-
You !
Yes You !
Relax your forehead.
Unclench your jaw.
Straighten your back.
Okay, you can now continue scrolling.9 -
Okay, okay, blockchain-powered communism per se is a bad idea. We can do better. So, hereby, I proudly present you...
Fully automated, luxury, blockchain-powered communism!8 -
Okay so kotlin is basically just scala with some of the features removed and nobody can change my mind.1
-
okay, can someone suggest a good series.
IT related, science fiction. something like that. good actors and events.14 -
My fellow developer was given a responsibility of writing unit test cases.
And instead of mocking the db calls he ended up making actual calls to db and adding realtime data to firestore everytime a test runs. Also he used mocha for the same. When i told him that we need to mock the db calls he said he will use sinon.js for the same and for code coverage his plans were to use istanbul.
I was like FUCKKKKKKK. , why the fk you aren't using jest. I mean whyyyyyyyy. WHAT THE FK4 -
I am tired of switching my role at a startup where I work. I was primarily hired as a backend developer but some times i have to handle sprints, i have to become machine learning engineer, a devops engineer and now even frontend. Yuck. I am sòoooooo tired..6
-
The owner of a github repo has added me as a contributor but haven't given me write access, so i can't push commits.
When i asked him, he said i have to make PR. The fork button is also disabled. So i guess i can't make a PR also.
Now WTF i am suppossed to do now?
No write access, fork disabled . Still i have to push my commits ....ughhhh2 -
The thing I dislike about Devrant is that our rants end up on Google. I know that you can use it on the web but I wish we just had the privacy of our rants just being in the community.9
-
So if you're invited to your "friend's" wedding, is it okay to say you can't / don't want to come?8
-
Okay, I know that osTicket, code-wise, is a fucking joke but know what? We upgraded our server to PHP7, osTicket stopped working. Okay, I need the newest version that it works, I downloaded it. It failed at database migration cause it's not PHP5 but I need it cause it should support PHP7...Wtf??!
-
me: When is it okay for you to scream out "RARRR!😡" in public?
also me: When your privates get caught up in your ZIP.
me: ohhhhh. Okay. -
Interview Question:
Are there other options to make this go any shorter?
if (john == doe == max == paul == stella == false)
return "Not Okay";
return "Okay";
I did...
return (!john && !doe && !max && !paul && !stella) ? "Not Okay" : "Okay";
That was the shortest i could come up with... Maybe there is something shorter, dunno.6 -
Is here anyone who really thinks that there is any benefit of participating in hackathons?
Acc. to me, hackathons doesn't makes a good developer but only a good resume(only if u win them)9 -
Use Linear gradient ...
No use rgba
Arghhhh...okay rgba looks OK...wait linear gradient is better...no wait
Hallelujah!!!!!2 -
Merry xmas to all
Witnessed the first ever world cup won by my country via cinema.
It can't be any better -
👋 to all my fellows working on saturday.
Let's spill out the real reasons. I will go first :
Working because my manager wants to justify the salary. He wants the team to work more before going to december holidays. Although this one day doesn't make any difference 😑 😑😑😑😑😑😑6 -
If you are asked to give a referral to a candidate for a job, what are the things that u r gonna focus on his/her resume ?2
-
Scenario: Enabling yet another python test suite on vscode. No big deal.
I start the test init and discovery. Says it cant find the test files. Okay; usually the issue is there's no __init__.py in the test directory. It's okay we can fix that.
Oh wait it's still not working. Okay well this isnt good... After about an hour of searching, i finally find out that the file that vscode is discovering tests with doesnt exist... In fact the whole testing directory doesnt exist!
Okay so now what do i do... Reinstall? Doesnt work. Reinstall and delete the extension directory? Yes! Victory!
Dont know how i got a half-baked extension download but hey... Could've beem worse. -
PM: hi, how are you?
Me: Okay, Not okay
PM: same here --- Okay and not okay.
PM: Also, I see three items are still pending with you. can you give it closure today?
Me: Okay, I will look it now and try to close it.
-
How are you building your products today?
-> What is your tech stack?
-> Your reasons for choosing them?
-> Any pain points you can help other indie hackers avoid?
I will start with mine -11 -
Does anyone else has this 20y old college student who is coding Facebook for "xyz"? I mean ...come on, do some new shit... okay, I write google for "xyz". Damn. Okay. I STFU.
-
Watching Invincible with my son:
Me: Son, I can't fly.
Son: Okay.
Me: Son, I can't run faster than a cheetah.
Son: Okay.
Seemed relevant at the time. -
task: building classes for "yes, everything done and tested, okay"-API-Request1
result: the undocumented shit is broken, what a surprise.
alt.task: classes for request2
result: there is no controller named "ABC"
-.-*** -
The worst project i work on is my actual project, this is not a dev project but a "Run the Bank" project !
check 3 times a day that servers are okay, logs are okay, unduserssolvedunderstand and give the "how to fix" to the dev team #pan1 -
I am so fkd up in my current job that i don't have time to even switch the job or give interview to other company5
-
I am making a WYSIWYG text editor for my next Product. Is there anything that I should include and is currently lacking in text Editors of Medium, Hackernoon etc.
-
Has anyone here tried spacehey.com. Recently, i checked there are now 50,000 people on spacehey. If someone has tried it, i just want to know why people are registering themselves there? 🤔1
-
Hola community!! Everyone going over this, please read this once and honestly answer my query.
I am on a probation at a startup. When i will be full-time, then the startup has promised me to provide CTC of 7,50,000(inr) i.e 10,000$ (usd).
Now I want to switch this startup company. Here are my reasons -
1. Less people, more work. - Well, that's what we call a startup. The tech team consists of 3-4 members only and we ourselves have to do the whole thing from end to end. This consists of designing the architecture, PR reviews, qa testing and coding ofcourse.
2. I see myself that I am capable enough to earn 1.5 times more than the above CTC. Also, all my friends are earning 2x the above ctc.
3. Also, there is no senior in the team except founder himself. This really seems awful as can't learn from anybody.
4. Also, i have plans of higher studying due to which i have to entrance exams. So i need to prepare them too. Switching to an established company can mean more money and less work.
Now, can anyone suggest me whether my reasons to switch are legit or vague??1
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