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Search - "critical"
The smallest utility made its way to being the largest companies must-have, the most critical part of the whole development landscape.
Using just plain C, Git can shred huge amounts of data insanely fast. It never gets old.
Git is a developer's scalpel.12
Client: the platform isn't sending emails
Dev: I'll look into it
(Finds all emails are being sent without issue)
Client: I just tested and I'm not receiving emails. This is obviously a site wide bug and I'm upping the priority to "Critical". I'm also getting everyone over here involved.
(Looks into clients account)
Dev: you didn't turn the setting on to allow emails to be sent to you.
Client: this is still a site wide bug that is affecting everyone.
(Provides screenshots showing emails are being sent and opened. Client closes ticket and doesn't respond anymore)12
Yeah, Sex is fun. but have you ever done debugging critical production issue when you're high on alcohol ?12
We were all 16 once right? When I was 16, my school had a network of Windows 2000 machines. Since I was learning java at the time, I thought learning batch scripting would be fun.
One day I wrote a script that froze input from the mouse and displayed a pop up with a scary “Critical System Error: please correct before data deletion!!”. It also displayed a five minute countdown timer, after which the computer restarted.
I may or may not have replaced the internet explorer icon on the desktop with a link to my program on the entire student lab of computers. Chaos.12
Fuck you, devs who quote Knuth:
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil"
I agree with the spirit of the quote. I agree that long-winded arguments comparing microsecond differences in performance between looping or matching constructs in a language syntax is almost always nonsense. Slightly slower code can even be preferable if it's significantly clearer, safer and easier to maintain.
But, two fucking points need to be made to you lazy quickfix hipsters trying to sell your undercooked spaghetti code as "al dente", just fucking admit that you had no clue what you were doing.
So here we go:
1. If you write neat correct code in one go, you don't need to spend time to optimize it. Takes time to learn the right patterns, but will save you time during the rest of your career.
2. If you quote Knuth, at least provide the context: "We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time [...] Yet we should not pass up our opportunities in that critical 3%"
YES THAT CRITICAL 3% IS WHERE YOU MESSED UP.
I'll forgive you for disgorging your codevomit into this silly PR.
BUT YOU'RE QUOTING KNUTH IN YOUR DEFENSE?
Premature optimization is the root of all evil... 6300 SQL queries to show a little aggregate graph on the dashboard... HE WOULD FUCKING SLAP YOUR KEYBOARD IN HALF IN YOUR FACE.5
Yesterday: Dear Diary, today the client changed their mind on a critical part of the project.
Today: Dear Diary, (see yesterday).5
Yeah, there are other more earth shattering, mission critical projects that save lives and drive humanity foreword etc. etc.
Boss: Something urgent has come up, can you take care of this.
Me: Okay.... But I am already working on X and it's a critical thing.
Boss: No, X is no longer of priority. You need to now pick up Y.
Me: But I was already........ Never mind. Yeah sure I will start working on Y.
Boss : What is the update on X?
Me: I was working on Y, also wasn't it de prioritized.
Boss : I think I was very clear when I communicated to you that X is very critical. Also you need to learn to manage your time.
Me: FUCK MY LIFE19
Not so much screaming as staring in disbelief, mumbling profanity in his direction...
When my department lead said "I don't think this unit testing hype or code reviews make much sense, it's more efficient to just make a checklist and test the application yourself"
This was the QA department of an aerospace company, we wrote NDT software to do image recognition on xrays of alloy welds and micrometer laser measurements on fuel tank surfaces. Software which is quite mission critical, a single misrecognized welding fault could literally cost up to half a billion dollars — not to mention that it's a very sabotage & espionage sensitive industry.
After raising some hell he was replaced though.3
So I've been screaming for months that push notifications are not reliable enough to build critical functionality on top of. Management won't listen and keep pushing ahead with making teams use it because its cheap and easy.
Been debugging an issue on/off for several weeks. Turns out someone in management asked the backend team to cut the expiration time of items down to 5 minutes to increase throughput (without telling mobile). Notifications are regularly taking +4 mins to get to the phones, leaving our users with barely any time to react. They are now complaining.
I swear if there is a single IQ point available between the whole team i've yet to see any evidence of it8
Boss: we are going to build a blockchain. ( he is smiling proudly)
Me: we are doing data visualization boss!!! Why we need the blockchain?!?!?
Boss: I am disappointed in you!!! You don’t read any Tech news or follow the market trends? BlockChain is tending nowadays... ( showing angry emoji using his face)
Me: it is not related to our work by anything!!! What we will visualize? A success of the transition? The amount of it? A visualization of the nodes?
Boss: (shouting) there are a lot of opportunities using the BlockChain in our days, and it is critical to our business...
Me: boss, there many opportunities using the ******* BlockChain, and I am leaving this company by the end of the month... find a ******* BlockChain developer to visualize the ******* process...
Boss: ........ (silence)
Me: .... (already resigned)7
1. If your contract allows it (and it should), get more involved in public dev community. Your employer benefits greatly from making a small closed source core product, with a giant open source ecosystem around it. Write public articles. Working in a community larger than one single business is fun.
2. Start a company coding club, a "labs" division, work in a slightly more exotic language. Great if your employer gives you time, but using some of your own is worth it too. Work on non critical tools, creative experiments. Sometimes you stumble onto incredibly valuable ideas which would never have popped up if you had strictly followed stakeholder requirements.
3. Listen to your body. If you feel restless, go for a run. If you feel tired, take a nap. If you're stuck, wander around the company. If you feel down, go find a place with more than a dozen trees. And always have a notepad nearby for doodling!3
Come back from vacation to find that 80+ e-mails were sent out to the entire team for a critical process that was failing to run due to an incorrect password. No one did anything for a week. Fixed it in 30 seconds.6
Bossman freaks out over every little thing (ironically unless it's important).
Bossman also just set our papertrail 500 filter to forward him a copy of every "critical alert."
He has zero technical knowledge and zero reading comprehension. He literally forwarded one and said "This has one lots of info in it. explain it to me." (It was a log usage notification. in plain English. It had maybe three numbers in it.)
There's lots of useless "500"s in the list we don't care about. API Guy used the finer as a debugging alert system, and peppered his logs with "500 internal hey look at this." In fact, none of the 500s were even interesting; all but one was spam.
All day I've been tending to freakouts and accusations of me not doing anything. Ugh.8
Got an interview invitation from HR.
Accepted it without looking at the interviewee's profile (rookie mistake).
Finally looked at his profile. He was 5 times, 5 times more experienced than me. Had a STRONG resume.
Was under pressure a lot of pressure. I realized I was not at all suitable for being this guys interviewer.
Just one good thing. It was his first round and was going to be a telephonic round after which we were going to fly him down.
Clock ticked 6. Time for interview. More nervousness.
Called him. Guy picked up. Introduced myself. In a calm voice he says, he is busy with a very critical bug. Can we reschedule?
Now this will generally piss me off. But this time I was relieved 😅8
Devrant has a critical performance issue. It kills my performance. I believe more users can be affected9
Manager: Give me an estimate for this project.
Me: It will take end to end approx two months.
Manager: Can you do it in a day. Make some magic happen. This is high critical for business.
Me: Sure. I have a small requirement from you to achieve it.
Me: Please get me the 'Limitless' capsule.9
15 mins after finding out a critical bug (we are releasing 3 days from now)
Me: Have u found the root cause of the bug?
Me: So, are we fucked?
Teammate: Teammate is typing...
*Closes chat window*
*Locks the computer*
*Flies back to home country*3
So apparently two "senior" "laravel-engineers" spent a total billed 35 hours trying to figure out a "critical bug" which "doesn't happen locally".
I went to the dev-console, saw it is generating http urls (fronted by cloudflare https, running on http server-side) and fixed that in maybe ~15 minutes, fucking morons.10
A critical vulnerability was detected in Electron and I urge all the devRantron users to update their app manually.
Please go to https://www.devrantron.com get the latest version which has the necessary patches.
Due to a request, we added compact mode in the app, which can be used to view a distraction-free mode of the UI. Notifications screen is a little bit more readable now. The read notifications are now greyed out.
Again, the auto update will not work for this version. Please manually update as soon as possible.6
Client: "the content is pretty confusing and inconsistent. Would you say the frontend is ready?"
Me:"please do not ask that way."
Client: "i just asked a question. What do you mean?"
Me: "well.. you basically say that is bad and then asked me if I thought it was bad."
Client:" i was asking a question. It is your problem if you find that offensive. You were to deliver a finished design until 3pm. "
Me:"you just reviewed it and came up with new input..and apart from that there were just some buttons in the wrong shade."
Client:"yes but I expect that kind of critical input from the developer. "
Me: "I understand, but this was a tiny project for 300 cash. I can't go all out on a budget like this. "
Client:"but all the other jobs I gave you lately were paid much better.."
Me: "yes. Those were other jobs, right? Should I feel obliged to work overtime I eager expectation of more and different work?"
Client: "you used to be more excitable...."
- I'm forced to do dev on Windows with no admin because security
- We receive patches to critical systems from outside company on FTP secured with password "asd123" and install them without reading because fuck security2
--- URGENT: Major security flaw in Kubernetes: Update Kubernetes at all costs! ---
Detailed info: https://github.com/kubernetes/...
If you are running any unpatched versions of Kubernetes, you must update now. Anyone might be able to send commands directly to your backend through a forged network request, without even triggering a single line in the log, making their attack practically invisible!
If you are running a version of Kubernetes below 1.10... there is no help for you. Upgrade to a newer version, e.g. 22.214.171.124
Url shortener seems to be working well enough as for the features without interface yet, still doing testing but it's looking good (few minor non-critical bugs but that's it as far as I can see)
Now the frontend/interface.
First fucking night of being on call again.
Normally I set an alarm at 3 to check if any critical disruptions have been going on.
But why the fuck would I need that if I woke up every fucking hour at night anyways?
I'm fucking tired right now and agitated as hell.5
The way things are prioritized:
Fuck sakes.. 😣12
Way back when, someone named a critical table in our schema as plural, not singular. So it's a Dogs table not a Dog table. No other table is like that. In any case that forced our Hibernate entities to also be plural.
Dogs dogs = new Dogs() ;
List<Dogs> dogss = blahblah
You get it. And yes dogss is what collections of Dogs entities are called.
Today I found out why the table is plural. It never dawned on me before, but the name of the table is Orders. The name of the table is Orders, you see, because Order is a reserved word in SQL. So clearly, there is no way to name your table that.10
follow on from my last rant.
I've finally gotten my new Jira project. Only thing I seem to have access to change is the Kanban board columns. Still has 50+ fields when creating a ticket etc.
Asked the support team handling the request if this was a mistake. He said no, i'll need to open another ticket to have those changes requested.
Opened and got a reply. Currently there are 2 versions of Jira running. They are working on consolidating them atm and won't help me right now until this is done. I've been asked to re-open my request after the consolidation is done in March 2019.
5 ... fucking ... months, so I can have a competent ticketing process.
He pointed me to a page explaining the move and listing all the changes taking place. Well lets look at the changes they are making that are so critical:
Change 14: Rename "More info" status to "Needs more info".
... Oh pardon me. I didn't realise such critical show stoppers were being addressed. Please do continue. Don't mind me, i'll just be over here taking 4 hours to create an Epic and 6 stories. As you were10
It's really fascinating how managers can act surprised over a critical prod issue especially after the whole dev department warned them repeatedly.3
What I would define as a critical bug:
- System doesn't respond
- Functionality is broken
- Client data is all wrong
What QA defines as a critical bug:
- Typo on this page in the QA environment2
I committed a bug fix that was about 4 lines changed but a full day of critical thinking.
The next day my boss tells me, that I clearly wasted company time and that I should be producing at least 200 lines of code a day. When will people learn that lines of code is not an accurate measurement of work accomplished?3
Did you know?
Critical error notifications in production are not a problem if you don't give a fuck.5
Pro tip: As great as your product is, it's 1000x harder to pitch to my boss when it has a goofy-ass name.
Me: Hey boss, I came across some new software that'll help manage our mission critical database system.
Boss: Oh yeah, what's it called?
Me: WoolySocksDB Enterprise Edition
Boss: 😐... No.4
So hey we found a critical bug in our software after release.
Ok fine, which version is that? Oh we don't do version numbers, only file modification datetime.
OK cool so what changed since the last point? Haha well we don't do changelogs here.
So we can look into repo hmm? Yeaaah we don't really do version control.
Can we at least revert back to a working version? Let's seeeee. We'll fix this but introduce back a critical bug from earlier.
So we are fucked right? Hmm we could compile now from current source but cannot guarantee what's gonna happen.
Guys I think I need a new workplace.10
Non IT people controling the IT departments and ruining the development culture.
No one (where i am from) anymore considers the software life cycles, initial r&d work, normalized relational db or using proper algorithms. All this stuff is critical for critical systems but people just want the softwares to work on the front end and make money, no matter if its all duct taped underneath. And I strongly believe this is happening because of non IT people and marketers sitting on top of IT departments.
Computer science people have kind of lost all respect. They are constantly yelled at by non IT people and asked to do year's job in months.
This makes me sad19
Surprise surprise, that unrealistic deadline you set even when the engineering team told you that it wasn't going to work has backfired! Maybe you wouldn't be so stressed if you learnt to listen? It's a pretty basic skill, or at least I thought so.
Oh and when you say "we have two options, stay late or work weekends" you have a critical bug in your conditional. Your missing option 3, go the fuck home. Time to enjoy my weekend with friends and family.4
Screaming at a coworker?
The INTJ in me has prevented that pretty well in almost every critical devSituation.
BUT one time in the past, I was really close to a level 9001 scream:
This fucker, despite having been told about code formatting guidelines and DRY/KISS multiple times, had the balls to commit such utterly crappy and unreadable code that I almost bursted.
He quickly realized his mistake after I reset the repo to before his push, disabled his Gitlab account and wrote him a simple email containing the text:
"IF YOU EVER COMMIT SUCH SHIT AGAIN, THERE WILL BE UNFORESEEN CONSEQUENCES. GFYS."
After a peaceful coffee and a croissant I decided to re-enable his account. He did good after that.5
$ npm audit
> found 19 vulnerabilities (10 low, 5 moderate, 3 high, 1 critical)
$ npm audit fix
> fixed 0 of 19 vulnerabilities in 11987 scanned packages
> (use `npm audit fix --force` to install breaking changes; or do it by hand)
$ npm audit fix --force
> npm WARN using --force I sure hope you know what you are doing.
Me too, buddy. Me too.1
So the company I work for had a critical project they needed done in 8 days.
We told our boss it wasn't possible because of the scope of the project but he went on with motivational speeches about how anything is possible. So he hired 12 devs for 8 days.
The scope of the project is already big enough but everyday upper management either add 10 new features, modify 2, or delete some already.
We basically sleep 2 hours a day and today is the last day. 5 minutes ago we just had a meeting that we're supposed to change a core feature. We don't even have a stable system yet and everyone is fucking pissed.16
Yesterday, after six months of work, a small side project ran to completion, a search engine written in django.
It's a thing of beauty, which took many trials, including discovering utf8 in mysql isn't the full utf8 spec, dealing with files that have wrong date metadata, or even none at all, a new it backup policy that stores backups along side real data.
Nevertheless, it is a pretty complete product. Beaming with pride I began to get myself a drink, and collapsed onto the floor, this caused me to accidentally hibernate my computer, which interrupted the network connection, which in turn caused an OSError exception in one of my threads, which caused a critical part of code not to run, which left a thread suspended, doing nothing.
From the floor I looked at my error and realised my hubris and meditated on my assumptions that in theory nothing should interrupt a specific block of code, but in reality something might, like someone falling over...7
It happend again.... Saturday, nice weather.....
And I am at the airport again because of a critical bug.... Goddammit why......5
Got a critical bug in foreign component. Could not contact the other team. 😞
Contact established today. Bug isn't reproducible anymore. 😐
What The Fuck?! 😡9
Ah finally, the moment when being a web developer is full of joy.
☑️ Server-side rendering
☑️ Inline critical css
☑️ Add progressive image loading
☑️ Minify everything
☑️ Automate release process in CI
☑️ Lint everything
Now that the strucutre is up, time to code the actual website. This is gonna be good!8
Apple flips the bird to devs again...
So I go to release a new version of my app (critical updates and bug fixes from mgmt) and I had just updated my phone. Yeah, that was a fucking mistake.
“This version of Xcode is not compatible with the new version of iOS.”
Ok... update Xcode...
“The new version of Xcode is not compatible with your version of OSX”
WTF?! This version isn’t that old? Fine... update OSX. 5 hours later...
“Hey, just wanted to let you know that we decided to break every one of your web development tool setting and basically nothing works on your computer now, oh yeah, and we’re Apple so FUCK YOU.”11
One of our newly-joined junior sysadmin left a pre-production server SSH session open. Being the responsible senior (pun intended) to teach them the value of security of production (or near production, for that matter) systems, I typed in sudo rm --recursive --no-preserve-root --force / on the terminal session (I didn't hit the Enter / Return key) and left it there. The person took longer to return and the screen went to sleep. I went back to my desk and took a backup image of the machine just in case the unexpected happened.
On returning from wherever they had gone, the person hits enter / return to wake the system (they didn't even have a password-on-wake policy set up on the machine). The SSH session was stil there, the machine accepted the command and started working. This person didn't even look at the session and just navigated away elsewhere (probably to get back to work on the script they were working on).
Five minutes passes by, I get the first monitoring alert saying the server is not responding. I hoped that this person would be responsible enough to check the monitoring alerts since they had a SSH session on the machine.
Seven minutes : other dependent services on the machine start complaining that the instance is unreachable.
I assign the monitoring alert to the person of the day. They come running to me saying that they can't reach the instance but the instance is listed on the inventory list. I ask them to show me the specific terminal that ran the rm -rf command. They get the beautiful realization of the day. They freak the hell out to the point that they ask me, "Am I fired?". I reply, "You should probably ask your manager".
Lesson learnt the hard-way. I gave them a good understanding on what happened and explained the implications on what would have happened had this exact same scenario happened outside the office giving access to an outsider. I explained about why people in _our_ domain should care about security above all else.
There was a good 30+ minute downtime of the instance before I admitted that I had a backup and restored it (after the whole lecture). It wasn't critical since the environment was not user-facing and didn't have any critical data.
Since then we've been at this together - warning engineers when they leave their machines open and taking security lecture / sessions / workshops for new recruits (anyone who joins engineering).27
Can we talk about this for a second? I mean WTF, how is Windows XP still a thing. Wasn't there a ransomeware attack recently, so every last sys admin should have some motivation to upgrade their shit?
Sure, I hear you say, it's just an information display. No critical stuff.
Well guess what, it was at an airport. Most likely not connected to any critical infrastructur, but still it's a computer, stuck at the boot screen at 11 a.m. running windows XP, connected to an airport network.
And I was standing there like: fuck me!14
Have been trying to setup Netdata as a monitoring system for a while now and finally got it working!
Instead of the built-in webhooks I just did a curl to a url containing a php page/file which error logs the status and description (just for testing).
It took me way too long to get it to work but BAM.
Immediately made a new cpu load rule (one minute high load):
The satisfaction of getting an error message in the php logs containing my custom rule as warning and a minute later as critical 😍
Five US quarters are about 1oz in weight and should hold down most keys on most keyboards.
I knew this because we had an error on a server with a pop up window that was only "ok". We couldn't kill the process because critical so we left a stack of change on enter until it it was done running and we could leave for the night.3
As much as I love opensource I hate really hate some of its actvie community members (read this as "freetards" <-- see urbandictonary). As a .Net + web devloper with minimal C experience (I just started learning it) and literally no Python experience its not really easy to contribute for me to many (most) opensource software for linux. I am using some <unnamed software> and I found a <critical bug>, it was easy to reproduce and I wrote for list of possible solutions, found it in a code and linked and basically wrote a docummentation longer than any other I ever wrote for every single project I did ever, combined. This <software> was critical for my server and since owner of github repo and few other people there were really active, I hoped that this bug with pretty good documentation will be solved fast, I went to my bed with a heroic feeling of an open source community contributor that helped saving world. I was horribly wrong. Tomorrow, I got 3 passively agressive responses from owner and other 2 freetards that summed up said <other1>:"oh thats nice, fix i yourself and commit it", <other2>:"have a sex with yourself" in a nice way, and <owner>: "fix my softwate and create mrege request". After replying that I have no experience my Python skills are not on a level requied for such an action, he messaged me on twitter I have linked to my GitHub profile saying even less nicely that I am a "retarded c*nt" and that I should learn Python and fix it myself. This makes me stay with my Windows based Server for some time now, fuck this. I googled his github nickname and guess what. Our main freetard is admin on an <unnamed linux forum> and mebmber of many other "computer help" with literally half of his posts just slightly toxic posts about how everyone should use linux and how supreme it is ober anything other, the other hals was crying why linux has only 1% of market share. Oh boi I am not sure why but ITS MAYBE BECAUSE OF FREETARDS LIKE YOU.
And the funnies thing is, hes not only freetard, he is just fullstack retard. One of his posts is "helping" to some <noob windows user> installing Linux. tl:dr for this las part: Freetard basically wiped all data of that <noob>.
PS: Bless everyone who do not respond "oh nice, now you can do it yourself"11
We have a pretty simple rule in our team:
Do not deploy to production on Friday.
Well thanks to the client being very slow to reply to me, they only signed off on launching the app at 15:30 on Friday, for a big campaign the app was built to facilitate starting Saturday.
Guess who had to bite the bullet and launch a new app into production at 15:30 on Friday.
Guess who got a text from his boss at 19:30 that there was a critical change required tonight.
Guess who was making code changes and deploying to production at 21:15 on Friday night while drinking Gin and tonic...
Nb This was a project only i was assigned to and came in as a rush job at the last minute.9
Attempting to access my colleague's NFS directory on his VM, don't know the VM's IP address, hostname or password:
- 2 minutes with nmap to narrow the possible IPs down to ~30
- Ping each and look for the one with a Dell MAC prefix as the rest of us have been upgraded to Lenovo. Find 2 of these, one for the host and one for the virtual machine.
- Try to SSH to each, the one accepting a connection is the Linux VM
- Attempt login as root with the default password, no dice. Decide it's a lost cause.
- Go to get a cup of tea, walk past his desk.
- PostIt note with his root password 😶
FYI this was all allowed by my manager as he had unpushed critical changes that we needed for the release that day.6
Anon thinks about replacing Car ECU with Raspberry Pi 3
>>Other anons think that there is only one ECU and its only used to control critical functions
/g/ is a weird gold mine 😂😂😂2
When you boss marks everything critical and you respond with "when everything's critical, nothing's critical." And he scowls.1
Boss came to me earlier
Boss: There's a critical issue with this release version for this project. Make sure it doesn't get deployed to our test/live environments!
Me: Err, that release went live 3 months ago...
Me: * Browses devRant for about 10 minutes *
Phone: 0 notifications
Me: * Puts phone in pocket *
Phone: * seizures in pocket *
Phone: 3 new Jira issues, 9 Sentry warnings about critical bugs, 2 emails from my boss, roughly 60 Whatsapp messages and 3 new notifs on Slack
Why does this happen so often :/4
That moment that you get some kind of pretty critical error/bug/crash in an application in production and you can't reproduce it anymore and you're just sitting there praying that it won't happen again 😥4
MY SERVER JUST DECIDED TO RESTART TO DO WINDOWS UPDATES!!!
Yesterday evening I stayed up late to install some critical updates manually as I obviously have auto updates disabled.
I didn't quite get everything done so I wanted to continue the next evening when noone was using the server.
Apparently that removed the rule to never ever restart automatically...
I have my damn router and app server running in a VM on there!!!6
When your PM calls you on Sunday to quickly solve a critical bug,
But you were busy happily working on your own personal project
flailing startup layed off my entire team without warning...
...and no one asked us how our custom tools work or how we performed our business-critical tasks. #goodLuck10
Do you know what kind of shit fucks become HR?
Those who use hashtags in comments for most ridiculous words.
'Hey! I was wondering who all are glad... Only if more people use #Glad, it would be easier for me to figure out this critical information'8
So recently I have been working on an open-source project where all the mains devs are too busy to give a stream of patches and new features. I offered to do this job, but as soon as there was an 'official' patch all my changes would be wiped, I was ok with that, I have my own fork of the project so I could just implement it there. What I didn't ask for was my work 'buddy'. Instead of following what the client said (only patch critical bugs) they went on the project forum and got all these great ideas for new features which he gave tocme to implement. He had absolutely no idea about how to program and expected me to do all of it. To top it all off he messed with my code when it 'didn't work' didn't test it, then put it in to production. Even unfinished features with bugs galore were put into producton withot even contacting me and I was left to take the shit! Thank god today is the last patch I have to do.1
I swear, if I ever were to develop a support ticket system, I'd require credit card credentials for P1 tickets - "for covering potential costs to get the developer to the computer at this point in time". Let's see how many of your fucking tickets are Business critical after all!6
US House Intelligence Committee: we can't trust equipment made by Huawei and ZTE since they may collaborate with the Chinese government
A black hat hacker: If you pay me a hundred bucks a month, you can use my infrastructure to monitor all communications and web traffic from any specific handset registered to a US Telecom. They discovered the breach nearly a year ago and haven't cut my access or sought to patch any of the vulnerabilities I utilized
US House Intelligence Committee: The only way to ensure the operational security of our government and safety of our citizens is to continue relying on American hardware and critical communications infrastructure and also let the FCC further deregulate it4
There's only a fine line between a critical issue and a dramatic client.
And by fine, I mean (the size of yo momma + the distance between earth and mars) / the teeny weeny fraction of the fucks that I give.3
Going live on Friday afternoon.
- no way, too many critical bugs! - I said
- we will - the Key account manager said.
Friday is here, still many critical bugs, I was right, it's impossible.
The Key account manager just dropped all functionalities with critical bugs and tricked the customer into thinking it's ok.
So we go live.
He was right, we can.
I spent the last 3 months trying to hire new developers for my team. I found someone experienced who is great and a graduate, who is, well, a graduate.
For some reason he thinks he knows everything about our framework he has never used and seems to think he knows how everything works in our codebase which he has never seen.
That’s fine. I’ve had my share of cocky developers.
But what confuses me is that when I ask him what critical bugs are left, he reels off two significant ones. I ask what it will take to fix it. Of course he says he knows how to fix it. So I say great. Then fix it and let’s move on to a more fun part of our project.
Suddenly he didn’t know where he problem was and so I told him he had to investigate and come back with something concrete.
It’s just frustrating managing this developer who is deceitful.10
When I was a young boy and I was writing my first programs, I remember I was sad because they were fast, unlike other applications I used daily and admired, with their long splash screens and the hard drive constantly making noise whenever you performed an action. At that time for me, 'slow' meant 'serious'.
It's fun to see how things have changed today: ensuring performance is a critical part of my job, and DAMMIT WHY HASN'T THE WEB PAGE LOADED YET?!?2
I fucking swear the servers in the data center know when the fuck I'm going on vacation.
YOU CHOOSE TO DIE NOW YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?
It's okay. It is no longer a critical box, but gah dammit.2
If you're going to request CRITICAL changes to thousands of records in the database, and approve it through testing which is done on an exact replica of production, then tell me it was done incorrectly after the fact it has been implemented and you didn't actually review the changes made to the data or business logic that you requested then you are an idiot. Our staging environment is there to ensure all the changes are accurate you useless human. Its the data you provided, I didn't just magically pull it from thin air to make yours and my job a pain the ass.9
`npx create-react-app blah`
`cdls blah && npm audit`
good fucking job.
To be fair, they're all minor, but they're all *exactly* the same, caused by the same freaking package. Update your dependencies already!
`npm i --save formik && npm audit`
68 vulnerabilities, three of them critical.
Some non-IT people wrote a crappy software tool. Others have started using it for business critical processes.
Asshats: "People are starting to use our tool and that means it's production ready!"
Me: "If and when this breaks are they going to call you to fix it?"
Asshats: "Well it's really just a proof of concept."
They want the glory but not the work that goes with it. And they dont want anyone else to develop it. They have been a huge pain for me lately.6
I've always been critical of python as a development language because of it's efficiency issues and the fact that it's essentially pseudocode. However, today I had to reflect 200 coordinated over the line x=355 for a course lab and I hella didn't feel like doing it in my normal languages. Wrote it using python in less than 2 minutes. It might be a bad language for efficiency, but it's one hell of a scripting language. Sorry, python. I never fully appreciated you until now.17
Today at work:
- Oh a new critical update for windows
*installing the update and restart*
System crashed and i have to reinstall windows -.-
Now i know why they call it „critical“ update for windows ;)1
A project I'm working on uses Elastic for internal monitoring and logs. The customer asked to access those logs - not something we'd normally do, but it's isolated from other things we use and there's no critical data there, so what the heck, let them have it.
Ever since, we're getting tons of questions like "There are tons of [insert random info message] all the time, do you have any plans to resolve them?" and it gets to the point where I'm just about ready to scream back "NO, SUZAN, BOOKING NOT COMPLETED MANS THE USER F###ING CANCELLED IT, IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN FIX IN THE CODE"
Edit: the customer's name isn't actually Suzan5
I’m a team lead in the tech team, myself and another team lead manage the on call processes for the department, so when stuff breaks we need to fix it. I assume there is sufficient documentation available for me to fix a process that is not mine.
one of the other managers processes breaks. He’s on annual leave and is away for another week. I attempt to fix the process. No documentation. What do i do?
I go to my manager the next day and tell her the process is broken and I can’t fix it because there’s no documentation and I don’t know what the full impacts are. She agreed we should leave it until he comes back from AL.
He comes back a week later. I tell him the process is broken and it’s been failing since he went on AL.
Him: we had a handover before I went on holiday
Me: no, you showed me where the ‘documentation’ was. Said documentation is not defined enough and is out of date. I didn’t want to break it further by trying to repair it when it’s not completely critical
Him: but it is critical, it has to run every day
Me: so why doesn’t it say that in the documentation?
Me: can you fix it please
Him: no, I’ve got too much to do having just come back from holiday
Me: more critical that a process that has to run EVERY DAY and has been failing for the past 10 DAYS??
Him: I’ll see if I have time
2 hours later...
Him: Lets put in some time for handover so you can understand the process. Is an hour long enough?
Me: I don’t know, you tell me, it’s your process, you know what’s involved and how long it should take to explain
Him: well is an hour long enough?
Me: I don’t know, it takes however long it takes you to explain it
Him: I’m asking you
At this point I’m getting more and more angry, how can you not know how long your process is gonna take to explain when you’re the one that wrote it?! I fully well know that it’s gonna take longer than an hour because it’s an SSIS package that looks like a plate of spaghetti, you spend 15 minutes working out what box flows to where before even looking at any SQL, and he’s still asking me how long it’s gonna take and distracting me from my ACTUAL critical work
Man is a waste of space, so quick to give you work that isn’t his but never takes responsibility for his own... honestly have no clue whatsoever how he became a manager....
This rant doesn’t seem like much reading it back but I swear it’s the last in a looooonnngggg like of his fuck ups that other people have had to deal with 🙄🙄3
Best part of being a dev? Rock star status when things are going well: had to get a fix out by 18:00, boss walks by as I'm watching something on YouTube and tells me the client called and wanted to be sure we'd have it done in time, told him not to worry and went back to my video. Pushed the fix at 17:30, and tomorrow I'll be in the same position: every last minute fix delivery only grows my reputation for getting critical last-minute fixes out in time... As skeptical as my boss was at the time when he walked past and saw me on YouTube he had to he polite because he knows how crucial I am to this project
I think tomorrow I'm going to work on my own project and slack off, no one will be able to tell me different2
Boss: Did you get that trivial change I requested completed?
Me: No, I've been busy trying to fix a critical issue with a production app.
Boss: I don't want other people dictating how you spend your time.
Let it all burn down, then, I guess!
I cannot submit my app and I have a very critical app.
this is shit, here we don't celebrate Christmas, so maybe apple needs to fuckin consider that !!26
It's 17:55... Did much work that day since I came in earlier than usual, so I could leave in time and do some shopping with the girlfriend.
A colleague comes in to my room, a tad distressed. He had accidentally ran a fixture script on a production environment database (processing a shipload of records per minute), truncating all tables...
Using AWS RDS to rollback the transaction log takes up about 20m. I had to do that about 5 times to estimate the date and time of when the fixture script ran... Since there was no clear point in time...
Finally I get to the best state of the data I could get. I log in remotely run some queries. All is well again... With minor losses in data.
I try to download a dump using pg_dump and apparently my version is mismatched with the server. I add the latest version to aptitudes source list of postgres repo and I am ready to remove and purge the current postgres client and extensions...
sudo apt-get remove post*
Are you sure? (Y/n) *presses enter and enters into a world of pain*
Apparently a lot of system critical applications start with post... T_T4
More often than not, I hear that the mission-critical stuff in Linux is done by paid people, the folks that work from 9 to 5 with a fixed time/resource schedule. Is software in Linux all like that? Say for example, Linux (kernel), systemd, Xorg, all the desktop environments, LibreOffice, Mozilla, Chromium and such.
The reason why I'm asking is because I kind of feel like the premise behind Linux "free, libre, *philanthropic*" and such is kinda wrong. Especially the latter. Do the people in the mission-critical stuff really care about its stability any more than commercial software devs do? Sure the projects driven by personal needs that are published are philanthropic in their nature, I'm having some of those too. But those are all non-critical and maintained as such. The stuff that's behind the steering wheel however? I'm not sure...
In essence, is the mission-critical part of the Linux ecosystem - however open-source it is - any different from other commercial software products QA-wise?8
"a 5% feature (used by less than 5% of all users) is a distraction for all the other users, and is better removed, unless it’s really critical (a small number of users do need to cancel service, for example)." - Neil Hunt8
Fuuuuck this corporate bullshit. I'm basically sitting around twiddling my thumbs waiting for some jackass to grant me access to the server that my boss moved my code over to. Why the hell did you put my app on a production server that runs every 30 minutes...THAT I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO?? Now there's a critical bug and a $50K order in limbo because I can't push any fixes. Fuck me. The worst part will be in the next hour or so when dozens of people are calling, emailing, and attacking my cubicle like rabid animals about why orders aren't moving and I'll have to explain that production is a train wreck because reasons. Just end me.2
pms always tell the higher ups that I"don't have passion". I don't know how to show passion for their photoshop mock ups, one line requirements with no definition of done, their talking for hours about "leveraging" and name dropping about the top brass they are schmoozing with. I just ask if we are going to show our MVP to real users and she morphs to the bride of chuckie. I say we ought to pair program and she says it cost double to make a feature. Testing and code reviews are taking too much time but they hover over your shoulder while you try to fix a "mission critical bug" that occurs because they wanted us to skip practices that could have prevented the bug. Woo I feel better now!3
Pretty fucking sure it’s Monday... Critical Server KO’ed during hours... Going to be a long day....
Sucks not having the funds to implement preventative maintenance and redundancy... Thank god for fucking backups.
To the Level C’s in our company.... take this as a wake up call you incompetent, undereducated, no dick-having-ass’, spitfucks!4
I've had some analysis assigned to me. A pretty critical stuff. I have pretty much no idea why some third-party process does not work if one specific feature is activated, nor I don't know how to integrate the new version of that third party component so that it will be correctly built into the system image with all the required libs and such.
Wrote several messages/letters to several people who have parts of the information I need.
And what would you think?
NO FUCKING BASTARD ANSWERS TO ANY MESSAGES! NOT EVEN ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
I'm fed up. If they don't think it's critical enough to answer (well, critical device hanging up is not a big deal, yeah? /s), then I don't think it's critical enough for me to sweat about it. Fuck that shit!
*Watching YouTube and not giving a shit unless someone answers me*2
I try and try and try to teach my coworker critical thinking skills, proper programming techniques, and standard git etiquette. Then I add 4 booleans to solve one problem, use strings instead of ints to find unique SQL Server entities, and push right to the development branch.
I am a real asshole, but at least I am not fake.5
I always overestimate by at least 300%.
Boss: "How long would it take you to implement [not so trivial feature but big enough]?"
Me thinking: "two weeks without interruption but I know the usual bulls it sooo"
Me saying: "6 months"
Boss: "that's too long maybe we don't that feature that much"
Hehe and now I have time to fix critical bugs7
"Don't worry with that problem today, it's not critical"
And this is said in less than a week of deadline
BOSS and Client IT’S URGENT IT’S CRITICAL
ME: IT’S 4:30pm on FRIDAY AND THIS IS THE FIRST I’VE HEARD OF IT IT IS NOT THAT HOT2
Anyone want to build me a smart robot capable of determining what to keep and what to donate (or recycle) so I can stop packing and injuring myself? Would have to me capable of critical thinking and tetrising the shit out of stuff and boxes...
I'm only partially joking... would buy a packing robot pretty damn quickly5
We had a course where we, the students, got connected with companies who could pitch ideas for us to choose. So we were to develop something for a company for free, but that probably won't be so bad, right? When the course was over we told the company we would fix any critical bugs that appeared after the final prototype was developed. We only had 8 weeks to complete the project, and that includes documentation (project plan etc) and other "school stuff" like an essay on what we've learned and so on. In other words, didn't have enough time to develop what the company was really looking for. Still those guys is bugging us about minor bugs they want fixed or "could you just implement this feature" . The course is over, they have all the source code so they could hire someone else to do it (or us, you could pay us you know?) but nooooo they think we owe it to them. We gave them a fully functional application to use, free of charge, but that still isn't enough. And they threaten with "but you can use this in a future resume" (yea we had to sign a NDA). Fuck it, am I being a whiny bitch?4
Testers be like "button is slightly too blue and four pixels too far to the right"
Siemens Step7 code block protection (PLC's).. It was designed to lock code that you don't want others to be able to read. All blocks are in a dbf file, so you just need to find the block record and uncomment one line, voila - source code available.
Given the massive use of Siemens PLC's on plants all over the world, and the simplicity of hacking via S7 protocol, usually Internet connected, it's a breeze to steal or modify the controllers code with possible critical implications.
Never buy crappy, consumer-grade SSDs for use in production servers/RAIDs. This might sound obvious but at the company I used to work for, through a series of bad decisions by management and cheapness, we ended up with the cheapest consumer SSDs you can imagine powering all of our storage.
This turned into a nightmare spanning years of failed hard drives and a continues cycle of ridiculousness. Drive failed after a few days, gets taken out, sent back to manufacturer and then replaced with another equally crappy drive destined to fail within days/weeks.
Our ops people were going to the data center multiple times per week to replace failed drives. Lesson I learned: cheaping out on system-critical hardware and software can have long standing consequences and in the end usually doesn't end up actually saving money when you account for time employees have to spend dealing with issues that result from it.
TechSuppDept: There is a critical antivirus upgrade we need to do...
Me(email): can you give me 48 more hours, ive already spent 7days processing my data... cpu, mem already at 97% utility
TechSuppDept: Please explain your email.
It was a nightmare about a nuclear attack, I was afraid and looking for some cave or basement to hide from radioactive winds.
Then I woke up to find 5 missed calls and emails about a critical bug in production.7
As usual a rather clickbait title, because only the chrome extensions (as always) seem to be vulnerable:
"Warning – 3 Popular VPN Services Are Leaking Your IP Address"
"Researchers found critical vulnerabilities in three popular VPN services that could leak users' real IP addresses and other sensitive data."
"VPN Mentor revealed that three popular VPN service providers—HotSpot Shield, PureVPN, and Zenmate"
"PureVPN is the same company who lied to have a 'no log' policy, but a few months ago helped the FBI with logs that lead to the arrest of a Massachusetts man in a cyberstalking case."
"Hijack all traffic (CVE-2018-7879) "
"DNS leak (CVE-2018-7878)"
"Real IP Address leak (CVE-2018-7880)"9
Need help. Just realized that I have been responding to every interaction I have had lately in a negative way. Not sure what's going on, but I just seem to always respond with a negative response. I consider myself a critical thinker, and a devil's advocate. From a previous comment on this site, to a random facebook post of someone sharing an animal rights post. I usually just ignore them and move on, but I ended up responding with poor intention.8
Last Sunday, we deployed 300 major application/service configuration changes, 60+ load balancer changes, DNS cutovers, changes to mission critical SQL servers, and informatica connection changes. This impacted every line of business, all customer facing apps, and all internal apps.
6 days from DEV to PROD, which includes all developer effort.
The most recent that comes to my mind is from one of my previous projects. Our team is already overloaded and frustrated working for this garbage client. One fine day, out of the blue, the client once again revises the list of go-live critical development objects.
Our project manager takes this issue up with the client, and then with our management when the client does not listen.
The response he gets from our management is along the lines of, "But it's just forty development objects. Why are you complaining? Just get it done."
Needless to say, the motivation levels of the entire team went on a downward spiral soon after.1
Is it just me or is systemd 240 royally fucked up?
My containers running Arch don't get connected to the network and systemd-networkd fails to start. On my laptop, the network is also unable to connect sometimes. And it consistently fails to complete shutdown without hard poweroff. The only viable temporary solution was rolling back to a snapshot in ALA that still has 239. Is that really supposed to be how a critical system component like the init is supposed to behave and get taken care of its issues?
Fuck QA, amirite 🤪.. seriously, that's even worse than Windows' "features" 😒13
that fucking fellow dev who knows nothing about what he's doing yet makes it look like he's doing something critical -_-
WordPress uses 25+ MySQL connections per person. MySQL limit is set to 100. 4 people can bring down a critical component of the company. Only fix is to write custom MySQL connector using PDO and persistence connections. Added a Resistor cache just for good measure.8
A few people on here enjoyed solving my previous puzzle, so I made a new one!
DLSS KVUL, FVB'CL ZVSCLK AOPZ WBGGSL.
Rome was build on [...] hills and had [...] kings. [...] played a critical role in the events that led to the demise of the Roman Republic and the rise of the Roman Empire.
Good luck! Post your answer in the comments.5
When they want to take a business critical app that is using Enterprise Oracle running on Exadata, and move it to community Postgres running on Amazon RDS, because "it will be in the Cloud, and it will save us money..." No, no it won't.2
Come back from a week's vacation, 3 apps in review. Sit down, set up Xcode, pull latest changes. Run code for the first time, tap through two screens, find a critical bug and I have to reject all 3 apps and resubmit.
5 business days away and I found an obvious bug in 5 minutes.
Someone's not doing their job...
Need some advice -
I have over one month spare time before joining the company. I have always wanted to learn an instrument but I'm also 'thinking' of joining a gym but I don't have any fantasies for big biceps and I am a big time foodie.
I have read that learning new instruments would help you in critical and out of the box thinking which is a definite plus while programming. While joining a gym would be a good way to keep myself fit in this hectic world of programming.
I'm torn in choosing between these two options. Which one should I join as a developer? What would my fellow devs suggest? 🤔22
We love to freak out about critical infrastructure that's still running MS DOS in 2018, but tbh the scarier thing is that trying to upgrade all of it might be just as catastrophic as any exploits. Lots of this shit is so old that you'd have to rewrite any programs from scratch since they weren't even intended for modern x64 systems and the original documentation got lost in a rolodex from a dude who's probably dead. While we're totally unequipped to handle an advanced attack on our air traffic control systems or telecoms grid, it's a guarantee that any attempt to update the hardware SWIFT uses would cause a financial crisis.
Looks like it's time to update the old CV... Christ have I really been here for 8 years.
It's been fun, the most fun time of my life but with new owners breathing on everything stuffs starting to fall to shit.
To use a SysOps analogy there are category 1 - critical warnings ringing in my ears.
I can accept a lot, but I'm genuinely concerned for the future of this place, and after trying to fix things for long enough to realise the new owners are the ones drilling the holes in the ship it's time to sink or swim, and I don't feel like sinking.
To quote billy Joel,
It seems such a waste of time
If that's what it's all about
Mama if that's movin' up
Then I'm movin' out1
On Tuesday my client states she will get me one more piece of info I need to launch the site.
On Wednesday, nothing.
On Thursday, nothing.
On Friday she berates me that the site is overdue and demands it be launched before Saturday so she can send the announcement email.
I remind her that I was waiting for the information.
She responds, testily, that the info wasn't mission critical after all and to just insert something as a placeholder. Oh, and that there had been a religious holiday and so nobody would have been available to respond to the information request anyways. Like I'm just supposed to know all that without anyone telling me.
I'm now trying to get the attention of our overseas developer, who is the only person who can pull this off, but he's likely clocked out for the weekend.
I'm so mad right now I'm about ready to burn the whole site to the ground, cut my losses, and just walk away. But that would damage my reputation.3
All my tasks was development, last week our boss gave me a testing task, and I completed it.
He said that the developers will hate me if I keep reporting every expected/unexpected, small/big, normal/critical bugs , so that he sent me back to the development team.
I just wondering if I misunderstand the word "testing"!!?1
So fucking tired of priority shifting. How the hell is anyone supposed to get shit done with 500 fucking meetings and between each one you're told do something different?
This is critical you must do it now! No this!
My response, fuck you I'm going home my head hurts let me know what you'd like me to code and when you've decided add a day for annoying me.2
How do you deal with a boss that is not very intelligent, but fights you, your team, executive management and project stakeholders on critical system design decisions?
Everyone else is worn out, the project is long overdue and I'm running out of energy, myself. Do I just do what everyone else does and let him have his way and prepare myself to deal with the imminent problems ahead, or do I keep fighting for a well designed system that customers will enjoy using?16
Dev gets told in the morning there's an emergency fix needed due to a critical issue with the app that's in production and that the fix needs to be in the release that will be cut this evening.
Dev drops everything he/she is working on, works frantically all day to get it in 2 minutes before the deadline.
Release gets cut.
Next day release gets trashed because some exec did not like the size of the font used in some obscure part of the app even though it's been this way for 6 months...1
I always love getting yelled at by a client about a feature that they “use everyday” and critical to their business is just not working. Go back and look... it appears that it broke a while ago (in this case a couple months).
It’s my fault, but I do start to question other blanket statements they make.
PM: "This is a critical bug fix needed before we submit to Apple."
Me: *reads bug story*
Me: "Wait, this is only repo on a Galaxy S5?"
PM: "Yup! It's stopship."
Me: 😑 "No."
How to write bug free code:
_loop() # all logic here
This will not cause any difficulties ever. Remember to pipe output to /dev/null, make this script a critical but undocumented part of your infrastructure and tell no one about it.
An interesting perspective considering how much of their code could literally mean life or death.
Colleagues: I hate when the client wants to make last minute design changes the day we are supposed to launch when they have had MONTHS to bring them up..
Me: we are supposed to launch our site today (our own agency site that we have been working on and reviewing as a group for about a year), so please take some time to go through and make sure there are no GRAMMATICAL errors.
Colleagues: *send huge lists of minor design changes that are CRITICAL*
Few months ago I was working on something rhat wasn't mission critical for the current sprint. Near the end of the month I was asked to help the BD team (which usually do the testing) with testing the webapp as well as the mobile versions. First day of me testing ever, found more bugs by myself than the 5 BD people did in the entire week. Really felt like a boss. Next month they asked me to help again. And again. And again.
This is how my desk looks nowdays (the 3 phones are behind the laptop charging)
Exactly when I do NOT need to be doing updates because system stability is critical to meeting deadlines, suddenly...5
Randomly reviewing a coworker's c++ codebase revealed he was locking at the beginning of a critical section, but explicitly calling unlock for each and every error-handling branching within it. And yes, he forgot to unlock at several places.
That's just not RAIIght.
Do you know guys why a programming bug is called so? It's because the very first time a software crashed it was because of a bug ( a real bug stuck in a bus on the machine!) That caused that 😂 imagine if something else was stuck instead! Like someone'sfinger : hey I fixed that finger but still got 2 critical fingers and 4 small ones7
Why does a "senior" developer have a git repo for a critical application that makes our company money, never push to it? I checked it today and it's empty.4
I used to work at a startup company that was so mismanaged that they lost track of when the Visual Studio licenses expire.
So during a critical week, the Visual Studio instances stopped working, and they have to scramble getting new licenses, which took a while.
In the end, the client lost confidence, pulled the plug on the project. I also lost confidence in the company and bailed out. Less than a year later the company went totally bankrupt.2
Any embedded systems software engineers out there with practical experience in writing/designing safety critical applications? (think DO-178B/C) I've got a few years embedded experience under my belt between internships, my projects, and now my relatively new job at a major aviation company, but I feel like I'm behind on this topic of safety and code that can't fail. It's simply not taught and I really want to learn more. Partially it is out of personal pride because I want to make a great product, but more importantly, what I work on is protecting a human life. I really really really want to feel confident in what I build. Is there anyone out there who's got some years under their belt that can point me to some good references? Or maybe some helpful tips? Much appreciated. If it helps, all my work is in C.10
Massive cyber attack hits Europe. Hopefully everyone is patched and secure. Critical infrastructure, banks... impacted.1
Going to release the biggest feature I have implemented for Product I work on. Change in more than 150 files and it is very very critical.
Wish me luck..3
PM: Page load times are up. It might be your API blocking requests.
Me: Possible, though most of my load testing was performed against a random sample of requests at nearly 5 times the expected average per minute rate. I can add some logs but I think this is a red herring theory.
PM: Yes add logs, and New Relic and get it released ASAP.
Me: To confirm, you want me to make a bunch of diagnostic changes to a mission-critical API the day before Holiday break...
I felt like that guy from the Apollo 13 team warning Gene Kranz that the LEM was not built for this and I can make no guarantees... Released an hour before we went home for the weekend.
So i moved house a while ago and noted down the root admin's username and password along with all the critical directories including root db location and slapped the sticker onto my personal cloud.
I Just haven't gotten around to set it back up again.
So there's that...4
Project Manager logic (the best kind).
PM: Here are a list of the tickets we need to address next.
Architect: Hang on, didn't X raise a number of critical bugs yesterday? They were serious, we need to fix the critical bugs first.
PM: ... but he marked them all as critical
(so that means they aren't an issue? cool, i've been doing this wrong all my life)2
Our Excel file of critical bugs to fix before live went from 18 to 11 today. I was super happy... then I asked my colleague how he was getting on with his "Points from the designer" task.
It's another document which had 25 new points added to it this afternoon.
Hello devs, I need help from database devs.
The company where I'm interning is a non IT company, so they planned to migrate to a SQL Database from their older MS Access Database.
Since I'm the only IT intern, I'm up against the major devs and hot shots from where my company outsources IT solutions.
They suggested SQL Express.
I have a meeting tomorrow with them, please help me so that I can get better results for my company.
Basically I have to question them about how their decision works better for our firm and why didn't we go for MySQL Enterprise Edition or anything which is much better and cheaper and such critical questions.
Please help me.
The Database would be used to store information about the products manufactured and their parts' history so that in future if there's a problem with the product, it can be looked up in the database so that there can be further replacement or repair processes.10
I love working on legacy products. You just need a good shower and possibly a therapist after.
- Sensitive data sent over the internet encrypted with DES (not even 3DES). Guess it doesn't matter that the key (singular, for the last decade) is basically 0123456789ABCDEF.
- Client databases with open default port, admin/admin superuser.
- Critical applications (potential for substantial property damage, maybe loss of life) with a single point of failure and without backup.
Suggestions, to slow down a bit with sales, so we have time to rewrite this steaming pile of crap are met with the excuse: be more pragmatist, this is standard industry practice.
Some of this shit can be fixed on my own time if my conscience nags too much, but others would require significant investment of time from multiple developers, which would slow down new business.
Guess the pay is ok, so that's something...
"what's the update?" - Team Lead
For every fucking idiotic task given, every 3 hours, as if the world is gonna end, while all you did in that time was have a tea, chat for a while, send a few mails, sat with a few co workers and checked up on them.
And then he gives me all these "tricky issues", which are apparently critical, and demands updates with a higher frequency! Never sat with me to solve even one of them. Not one.
I never thought that I lacked the basic common sense to update you as soon as I fucking have one.
Ooh, also loop in the senior manager right before annual appraisal. There goes my hike!3
In the middle of 2 critical bug fixes and your boss 'volunteers' you for a meaningless 4 hour training session.....WTF????
This is the LAST TIME a critical PC component will fail me in the middle of a project. Wtf is up with hardware makers these days? Why can't you make a video card that will last for more than a year, AMD?? FFS!
Desktop for gaming, laptop for code. Now to redo my workstation AGAIN. 😭7
Three days ago my focus was shifted from a development role to a support role. I was shifted to replace another support guy who had used fraud to get the position. I have no experience with this role but there was decent KT and I'm catching on fine. During onboarding and KT I'm serving as the first contact for new tickets and whatnot...
Today I got a ticket with an error on our production instance that no one had ever seen before. It prevented the guy from using our service entirely. I tried to reproduce it and... I couldn't use the service either. No one could. Everything was down. I could see the sweat building on my manager's forehead.
Thankfully another member on my team has done a bit of support before, so we collaborated with each other and other teams throughout the day to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it. I'm listening to them chat remotely as we speak - so far I've been working on it 9 hours straight.
This service is used by everyone - it's a business critical service with due dates on actions and escalations to managers... Imagine if the support ticketing service for your company crashed. That means a lot of people are asking what's wrong, requiring extensions, etc. I've been answering to managers and seniors in the business throughout the day.
The best part? We figured out why the server went down, and the reason is fantastic: someone updated the server's code without telling anyone, and all they had done was remove critical parsing code. Just took it right out, pushed, redeployed. We don't know who did it or who even has access to do that. I guess I have some detective work cut out for me after we've fixed everything that was broken by that.
I miss coding already.1
Ran the build today 4:30 and found out our grunt file is missing some pretty critical error checks without even logging a warning. A dependency was unavailable and it was pushed to production. The site was down for 30+ minutes.1
Manager signed up an affiliate last night to our affiliate tracking software around 11pm. I get an email at 10am asking why I don't have them added to our internal database yet.
"because I was sleeping n shit"
I also explained to him it's not mission critical because it takes 3-5 days before an affiliate will start sending traffic anyways.
When you find that one critical piece of documentation that you need causally mentioned in a github comment somewhere. They'll never know how happy they made me :D
dev vs QA rant (n + 1)
So our QA is done by China team so naturally time difference is quite irritating,
I cannot change code
I cannot debug for issue
So today I fix a critical issue and before pushing it my seniors send the to the QA
> QA unavailable
> I wait for QA because nobody notifies if the code is tested and I can work ahead
> I get review that my issue fix generated another issue (page gets redirected)
> I'm angry and astonished, I check on same link, same circumstances and no such issue is found
> My seniors say read the issue properly and I do it, no positive response when I contradict the QA
> QA leaves for home on Friday and critical issue still remains in live
I cannot believe the laziness of QA, I mean it's their loss at the end of the day.
> top of that I waited 2 hours for QA to check the issue3
So easy to DOS a whole software company.
Someone (accidentally) started a script or similar, generating so many requests on StackOverflow that our IP got banned.
In the company chat people already joking how they cannot work. This is "critical infrastructure" in 2018: faulty IP in our network is taken offline. Let's see if we can access SO again today.2
On this Saturday my first full project is going to production and I am unable to resolve one fucking critical bug without db hit. Well still trying..3
My team and I are working on a huge project that's been in development for years.
First deadline was in the fall last year. We were never going to make that.
Then we were supposed to be ready just after the summer holidays (months ago). We didn't make that either.
Then we were supposed to launch last week. Didn't happen, still too many critical errors and unfinished, untested features.
Now we are having daily meetings to discuss whether we'll be ready to release... that day!
Meanwhile, stability issues and other critical errors keep popping up. The product is barely finished and has not been through rigorous testing with all the latest features and bug fixes. Not to mention that we don't really have a deployment pipeline either.
And here's the kicker: The customers don't know this is coming. It's highly anticipated, but only internally. It is a replacement for an existing product, which strives towards not changing the frontend too much.
Why do we rush it so? I get that a deadline can help motivate you to reach your goal, but how motivated will we be if the launch fails and we get buried in bugs and missing features?
Would it not be better to launch it with at least the confidence of knowing that we've tried to test it properly?9
Me: Alright, new week, back from vacation fully rested and focused, lets get productive.
Apple(safari 10.3 update): Fuck you.
Basically the change log was:
*fixed critical security bug.
*added more bugs to fix later.
Well fuck you too safari... You disgust me.
The least the fucking imbeciles, or monkeys, behind safari can do is add a fucking css prefix. For fucks sake.
CoWorker: so when are you going to be out?
Me: taking 1 week off Oct 1. I need a break from production issues and all these critical tasks...
CW: ah OK yea, you deserve it. So where you going?
Me: well I'm planning to just stay home unless the weather is really nice. I'm going to try React Native to build a mobile app and maybe look for some open source projects... O yes gotta look into my investments too...
CW: Oohhhh... Ok.... (We go on talking about Trump and why somehow the markets haven't crashed yet...)2
Show stopper issue raised,
10 minutes to home time,
Critical service goes down,
Current facial expression2
Recently, I was hired by another company. It's a huge change for me and my career, so I'm looking forward for start in my new position.
By then, in my current company I just started a high-prioritary-super-important project for the company. So, I asked to my new company some extra time before join them in order to finish some stuff on that project and to make a good project transfer.
Today, halfway throught that extra time, boss anunced me that super critical project is no prioritay anymore due bussines decisions, so only we have to do is usual tasks (which my junior coworker can do without me).
I feel like newbie in the world of work.5
Someone : this is not critical, if you have more important task or deadlines, prioritize it first.
Me : doing my more important task/deadlines
Someone, chatting me every hour : Is it ready? I need to submit it ASAP!!!!
What a pain in the ass!!!!
New in my job
Start to work on a abandoned project for one of our client not very happy cause the lack of update
Go for a critical issue which exists since 2 months where everyone was telling me that they passed a huge time working on it with no answer
The code is so fucking much not DRY so I was able to see the same 4-5 incriminated lines elsewhere
*see that the request is lacking of one parameters just has the error suggests*
*copy paste the missing line*
I’m now a hero for them but they become fucking peasants for me
(In addition, when code reviewing, some one had the nerve to tell me that “haha it was nothing much finally, it was easy”
To him : fuck you, eat my 💩)
me: yes..hurray I fixed 5 of 25 critical bugs. Its turning out to be a great day.....
...checks the bug list....
"There are 29 critical bugs in the list"1
So, I'm looking into something and end up on Stack Overflow. Someone posted the question:
This question was old as shit, all they way from 07/25/09, and about an Adobe Air application. (Remember that? Me neither...) It had a great, accepted, and still accurate answer, posted the same day the question was asked. Now, fast forward 8 years and on 12/08/17 (A mere 7 months ago...) the following answer was posted. I don't know what they were thinking, but here it is, complete and unabridged, with my comments in square brackets:
"I'd like to post this as a separate answer as it somewhat contrasts the accepted one: [Somewhat contrasts? More like completely contradicts...]
Yes, it does make a performance difference as it reduces parsing time - and that's often the critical thing. For me, it was even just simply linear in the size and I could get it from 12s to 4s parse time by minifying from 3MB to 1MB. [First off, your parse time should NEVER be THE critical thing, but secondly, and more importantly, WHO THE FUCK HAS 1MB OF MINIFIED JS ON A PAGE!!!]
It's not a big app either, it just has a couple of reasonable dependencies. [THERE IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING REASONABLE ABOUT ANYTHING HE JUST SAID! What dependancies is he using?! You could use minified and not even gzipped jQuery, AngularJS, Vue, Ember, React, AND Dojo libraries on the SAME PAGE, AND have 118k of application code, AND STILL NOT HAVE HIT 1MB QUITE YET!!!]
So, yeah, I'm at a loss for what this guy was thinking, but the thought the people like this exist, and that my browser might one day be subjected to their horrific nightmare of code terrifies me...2
Either a very tired dev or a really really critical bug fix whose details cannot be revealed
I'll choose the first2
Has anyone ever had the joy of dragging their employer kicking and screaming into the 20th century?
I've been here a little over a year, and slowly but surely I'm moving us forward.
We implemented git via GitLab (our it department already had an on premise installation), I've got us up and running with basic pipelines, I'm pushing TDD, im leading the move towards APIs for new development, and I'm implementing new projects to streamline our work, mainly by automating tasks which currently can take hours with hundreds of manual changes.
It's slow going, and there's lots of legacy business critical apps which we won't be able to change, but we're getting there.
If things keep going smoothly then I might even ask for a ride to reflect my benefit to the business, and extra responsibilities I've taken on which are far beyond my official job as an SQL Developer5
Time to switch to offline and hide in some dark corner to get work done. Tired of all the IM’s and coming over to my desk from 1 person for “critical” work. If they’re all critical then none of them are truly critical. If you sit on the data for 2 months, and then today is the day it becomes critical and the compliance issue is because of your ineptitude then its a you problem not an IT problem. Then on top of that you submit your data to be loaded in the incorrect request form and spreadsheet format you can go fuck yourself asking this be done in an hour. It could be done in 15 minutes if you had it in the correct format as specified in the 20 meetings over the past year which removed all manual analysis and automated the entire process you idiot. Now I have to get it into the correct format in that hour so I don’t have to do the analysis for you.
I have other things to do besides your etl tickets, like finding the actual problems in our actual critical applications. You know the ones where the VP’s of this giant corporation start calling if they go down.
Sorry for the rambling guys.
Having a manager and client and boss who know no programming is frustrating because when they post issues on the repo as bugs and critical but its neither of those, the terms lose all meaning because whats really happening is
THEYRE REALLY BAD AT USING COMPUTERS.1
'we have a critical bug'
'Look, it's out of my hands, we would fix it but we do Agile, it needs to wait for grooming, planning, and then get in to the next sprint'
'how long will that take?'
'not long, 2 week maybe, 4 at most'
Is it good or bad that I forgot to push an critical buggfix to production just before I went home?
Hopefully I can update from home (think one of our servers has an backup of the ssh keys)4
People get so defensive about their code! Especially, code that becomes redundant. Suddenly, they get all activist type, as if their puppy is being put to death, and come up with the most convoluted of reasons why it is very critical code.2
I had a coworker that NEVER restarted his computer or installed updates of any kind. Any time he showed me some code I got distracted by the "new updates are available" popup that was always there in his IDE.
I can't even imagine the backlog of critical security updates that were waiting to be installed when we left after 3 years.3
One day every 2 week, we got to spend the Friday just learning and trying stuff. No working on projects unless it's critical.
On these days, I feel like I learn much more than in the rest of the weeks.
Today I built (normally Python developer) a web service using Rust.
It's 1:15 AM and I just got gome from work after 16 hours working on some really difficult mission critical things and deploying.
I think it's 16 hrs, my mind doesn't really work anymore. Good thing I drove home safe...1
Why is every one of these marked critical!? Every month or two they have an update that is critical and they are usually just security improvements. Is their security really that bad to always mark as a 'critical' update.
- Bug-Report -
If you go to the comments section on your profile and click on an comment you made to a collab, devRant will load it as a normal rant instead of a collab and, therefore, nothing is shown.
- Device: Phone
- Android Version: 6.0
Steps to reproduce:
- Write a comment to a collab
- Go to Profile -> Comments
- Click on that comment
- It will load it as a normal rant (See image)
Show as normal rant
Show as collab
I hope you can reproduce...
Asus critical update! Fucking handwriting recognition... So they're now employing the same tactics as criminals trying to get you to install a virus.
"Whoa, critical? I'd better stop whatever I'm doing and update, I sure am grateful that they tabbed me out of whatever unimportant crap I was doing before and shoved this popup in my face!"
-no one, ever
That shit is about as critical as birth control to a nun. Kindly fuck off with your pop ups and go work on something actually critical like my battery not exploding 6 months after buying it.
I have had to work on a project with a pc104 stack running yocto. I have had this since December last year and the image has always just randomly crashed 🤔. Yesterday I found out why!!
I am able to read the sensor of the cpu temp this has never been over 60/70 degrees C (yes I am English), however after running multiple tests and finally hitting my last wits I made the Kernel output over serial as no msg was shown on crash.
The company we have got the HW from always said this board won't over heat it throttles the cpu blag bla bla... And you guessed it in the mid of nothing but mess was a message "thermal_zone0 critical temp 127 degrees shutting down"
I didn't know if I was happy or about to cry as I didn't know if after working on this project for the last 6months I was back to the drawing boards as I need new HW or my gut at the start of not trusting the Company we are using!
Needless to say I have no idea what Monday will bring, I will keep you all posted as we all do care!
-> Had to remap all api endpoints on the backend...
-> The system architect raised a critical bug, saying he can't delete reports from the GUI even though the back-end is returning HTTP 200 (for now, say we also save some sort of reports in our DB)...
-> While remapping, I had returned get in the delete call xD
-> He thanked me for not doing the other way round, delete function in get call xD1
I need your advices!
Some good resources for teaching child and prepare them for programming and logical/critical thinking?5
Imagine an annual $50k+ enterprise software package that didn't distinguish between a null and an empty string in valuing critical data. Not noticed for years - wtf?3
Dev: When can we deploy these changes that will improve the services?
Managers: Later, we're at a critical point right now.
..said every day for last four months
When offshore overwrites your (100% to spec) content and then logs a critical defect because the incorrect content is showing...1
How do you guys handle receiving criticism to things you think you're doing well (or maybe not)?
I've been in my current role at my company for almost a year and I think I'm seen as good talent, but I have a hard time translating critical feedback from "we're telling you this so we can see you grow" and instead I hear "you are doing that wrong, do this instead."
It drives me nuts because I always think I'm failing.1
Windows 10 insider preview had a critical bug like half a year ago where most browsers would freeze the PC. I've reported it multiple times but my feedback didnt get any attention. The bug made it to production months later...
Now, the story is repeating. I've discovered a bug. Everytime there's a software update for apps that with a built-in updater in the main .exe (JetBrains IDEs, VS etc.) the updater fails, program is corrupted and needs to be reinstalled. For instance, there's a minor bump in Android Studio version, if you try to use autoupdater it will corrupt your Android Studio and you'll have to reinstall.
Been trying to reach out to them but the only "real issues" that are highlighted are "no CPU temp in task manager" or "pls improve automatic problem resolving"
Why the fuck do you even have a feedback program if you're ignoring the people who are reaching out to you, you pieces of shit4
I hate ot when your client has access to new relic and they panic and start creating critical issues when the linux db server is is 80% memory..
After a 2h conference call the client said he was going to contact a 3rd party dba because he didn't believe it was normal.
1. I like critical thinking and problem solving.
2. Coding feels like the only thing I know how to do well.
3. It's fun!
So I ended up going with antergos and xfce DE on a cheapo 4gb ram i5 laptop.
It works, sometimes it hangs because of ram, but the thing that is infurating me the most is javaFX with animation loop (school course) whenever I run it, it works for a minute then oh good fucking Lord what happened to you!!!
It hangs, mouse doesn't work, and it takes like 10 minutes for it to respond back and somehow forcefully close the application, running that with task manager asude, I don't see anything critical, unless I'm reading this wrong
CPU averages around 10% and sometimes spikes to 70% few times
Ram is around 50%, swap is 50% too
What could the issue be in this case? I'm sure running the whole thing on windows this wouldn't have happened, what am I missing here?3
Windows containers with Kubernetes on AWS and Azure are thing now.
What does that mean? Is it now possible to containerize system critical windows 3.1 legacy software from the 90ties (like the ticketing software at Airport Paris Orly) and orchestrate it in the cloud?
Do you know any use cases for Microsoft Windows in the cloud?2
Sooooo our department boss (the CTO) just announced his resignation, handing over his responsibilities to the lapdog of the CEO (who is very fickle on process micromanagement). Seeing as our offshore team was the CTO's idea, we're kinda expecting retrenchment to hit us in a few months once said lapdog starts throwing out our (soon-to-be-former) CTO's initiatives and projects for her own...
Quite frankly, I wish we'd get redundated now instead of later. I'm starting to hate my job (an increase from before, when I simply began to dislike it) because of my team lead's incompetence (she can't even attend a meeting without hijacking it for some other unrelated topic/issue) and lack of transparency (she never shares everything, keeps a lot of critical knowledge to herself). You can smell her lack of trust from miles away.
Anyways, yeah, I'd like to get retrenched/redundated please. I could use the money, honestly.
Critical Error: Webpage responded with: 404 Upvote button not found
(also happens to rants, not just comments)
(also don't look at the image for too long it's a pretty gross jpeg)5
Worst documentation I have ever dealt with is my own. I have gone back to programs, looked at it, and went, what the heck is even this. I've broken business critical programs just because I didn't know the extent of what I was changing. I've gotten better, because of events like that. OMG!!!!
When the guy you are relying on to do an export for an app during a MISSION CRITICAL downtime exports the wrong data and drops offline... Then you find his number in an email... then you find out he is driving somewhere and will not be back at his computer for 30 minutes...
Thanks for staying up with me @joeygreen
I just got a call from Satya. He informed me that Microsoft has successfully acquired the Linux kernel and all future development will be closed sourced.
Here's a sneak peek of the official announcement:
There will be a newer version released tomorrow that will include the Windows desktop environment as well as patch a critical 0-day security flaw that was recently discovered in all versions of Linux.
To prevent exploitation, we will activate a kill switch which will disable all systems running any flavor of Linux next week.
Thus we advise you upgrade ASAP, existing users can get the latest version online for $500.8
So, if I do the work of two people, shouldn't I get two salaries?? Deadweight strikes again. Jesus tittyfucking Christ I'm about on my last nerve.. this guy sits on issues until they're critical, then they get passed to other people. Good for him, bad for everyone who's actually FUCKING WORKING AND EARNING THEIR GODDAMN KEEP REEEEEEEE
This more of a tifu but to be short and concise..
4 months into the job, still learning the hang of docker, exposed a critical port that collided with a node, crashed our entire internal docker ecosystem. What a day...
I got the Aero15. Had to send it in because ctrl+alt+shift+s (IntelliJ Preference menu) and some others critical shortcuts weren't working. Got a reply a week later.
"Thank you for using our service. The explained fault isn't actually a fault. If you want to use that button combination simply remap the FN key. Mind you this will disable any FN key combinations."
"What about all the other combinations?"
"Ok we returned it to the technicians who will do their best to repair it."
I await their response. But seriously, for a company that makes GAMING keyboards this is pretty embarrassing. I'm surprised it hasn't gotten more attention.
"You have changed what??? WHY DID YOU CHANGE THAT WHEN WE TOLD YOU NOT TO CHANGE IT!!! " newbie that changed critical process source on a financial system causing havok....5
Getting tired with the assignments being thrown at us especially the research paper type. The lecture just give us the topic, expect us to complete and submit it. Voila, here's your mark. I'm tired of chasing marks for cgpa instead of for the sake of knowledge. The fact that my scholarship is dependent on the cgpa really stress me out. It also didn't help that all the lecturers are only concern with completing the modules. The fact that I'm a kinaesthetic learner just make the whole learning experience a hell. Memorizing theories for the tests are the worst. Is it so hard to be able to learn happily while still provoke critical thinking? The education today is so monotonous.
Love this kind of humor, coworkers output into a log on errors begins with "Found Unidentified Critical Keyerror". Took a while before I noticed the genius message in this error! My colleague deserves a cookie!1
I updated NDK, which resulted in some critical errors, because of outdated Gradle used deprecated NDK features.
I read about it, and decided to fix it properly, not hacking around - updatig that old gradle 2.2 to 4.10.2.
I spend about 6 hours fixing all problems and warnings that gradle had because of that, and then some.
At the end, some things still didn't work, but i was clearly missing some code from version control. I clicked update and left it for an hour.
THIS FREAKING BUGGY TFS PLUGIN RUINED ALL MY FILES I N THE PROJECT. WHY ARE WE STILL USING THAT F*King TFS???
Literally, I'm left now with .iml files in folders.
And my updated gradle files are gone too.
That feeling when you spend a week evaluating IDE software, providing lots of critical evidence as to a clear winner, and the company refuses to spend any money to improve the tools.1
"Instead of using languages we all master lets choose language none of us knows and lets use it to build our time constrained business critical platform. Don't worry about the fact we are about a year past deadline" argued leads of another project.
Yeah. About that...2
A Dell laptop, specifically the Inspiron one, they never sleep, so I had to do the crime, multiple times a day, it craps itself, it's AMD chip is shit, it's drivers are the word, and last but not least, this laptop was replaced like 6 FUCKING TIMES, and sometimes I used to be in critical situations where I had to use a laptop and guess what, it didn't want to turn on.
So dell, never again.
One day, I was traveling back home from college, and had my laptop in my bag, and guess what I found out when I got home, the plastic parts in the bag fucking melted, ruined my notebooks, and my bag.
Not to mention it's terrible performance thanks to it's drivers while developing shit with Android studio, you know how it is.
In short, don't buy a Dell product. Ever.4
just yesterday, commiting a pile'o'shit code which u know is pile'o'shit but you had to do it like that because correct non-hacky solution wouldn't meet non-negotiable, client-critical deadline, and getting back a code review criticising precisely all the points which you are aware of and want to kill yourself for but you had no other option under the circumstances.
p. s. still under probation because it's a new job, and the review ends "no time right now but we need to talk at the end of next week"
p. p. s. second best job i ever had. week of fear of losing it commences.1
Program: Meets a critical bug, potentially crashing the whole system.
Administrator: Presses the "Emergency stop" button.
Emergency stop program: Meets a critical bug in itself.
Admin: X . X
Say, you have a huge system with tight memory constraints. Almost every programmer who's created an instance of any object now has that instance in contention for resources on this system. The free memory is going lesser and lesser and other resources are also facing the heat. The garbage collector is not very effective (as garbage collectors we know are). There is a very large pool of objects that do not have any reference and are left to their own. Now instead of instantiating your own objects, you can simply request one off the pool and work with it however you like (regardless of what type the object was) and change its type to the type you want it to (coz they're all after all instances of the same base class).
Now the question is, would you still instantiate your own object or just request from the pool? If it were a fact that once this system is down, you'll never be able to develop and deploy a single program ever again, would you still not care for it?
If only my mom was a programmer, I could have easily explained why I want to adopt a kid and not make my own. :/
Can anyone give me an exercise to train programming or critical analysis?
I am really not motivated and trying to give some motivation back when I want to answer some problems.
I'm a bit getting rusty on my head due to Anime and stuff.1
On a call with a client that wants to go into production in 3 weeks then they want to hold off for a week on a critical development decision piece....
The first company I worked for had a policy to not ship any release, service pack or hot fix as long as there were still open bugs with the severity "critical" or "blocker". They wanted to ship a service pack nonetheless, but without violating the rule and thus keeping their KPI unharmed. So the support guys got in touch with developers and asked them to lower the severity of certain "critical" bugs. They said we by all means need to write into the comments that the severity of those bugs has to be reset after the service pack was shipped, so that those important bugs would not be left behind.
- Support team violates the rules set up by themselves.
- Developers had the actual work of doing so (and the blame to catch).
- The Support team's KPI just remained unharmed.1
I want a devRant iPad app.
All it really needs to be is a streaming feed with the slide-out menu static on the left. I'd be happy with that.
Pretty simple, but obviously not critical. I just hope it's on the //TODO list. I'd enjoy it (especially if it supported multitasking).
But don't feel as though you should support the 12.9-inch Pro because lol fuck that monstrosity.10
Always have a roll forward plan, backups, and a site B. Especially if you think it is a non critical system.
This situation, when you are working as external employee in a company that needs you to test safety-critical systems.
You wait months for "THE" (internal) test tool you have to use to implement your specified tests.
Finally , you meet with the responsible dev guy to let him setup everything.
Me: Hi, I'm here for setting up the test tool for project XY
Dev: Eh? No one (manger) ordered the tool for project XY!
co-op integration, day 1: after 3 hours we decided to postpone all coding until day 2 since we found 8 product open issues and 5 architecture open issues. Also, the other company has a critical deployment problem that needs addressing. good start...
So I've been given a task to monitor a whole lot of logs of some servers (whole university ~ 10+ departments). The technologies are diverse so I'm cramming everything into elasticsearch via logstash (and filebeat), viewing it into kibana. Any recommendations for what should be the 'useful' stuff to be viewed into dashboard? I guess:
- Overall traffic wtih respect to previous days/weeks
- Most viewed domains
- Failed logins?
- Dropped connections?
- Critical-load of systems? 90%+2
What the.. Apples member center (for managing iOS dev certificates and profiles) keeps crashing the whole Safari.
Safari restarted three times in 5 minutes now..?!
Appears to be some strange way of self-irony when the browser's developer builds a site provoking a quite critical bug though... x)
Friday: Run your security test on production after hours.
Saturday: Wait, do development instead.
Today: Ya know, development is a critical environment too. Just don't test anything at all.
I know, client always have reason, but I wonder if an uppercase issue have to be reported as critical.1
Anyone pair up their CS or SE degree with a second degree as an undergrad? What was it? Was it worth it? What made you decide to add a second degree?
I’m currently an undergrad and I’m really liking philosophy and English literature and enjoy the writing and critical thinking/discussions that comes with the classes, but I’m not sure if it’s worth getting a degree in it or not. If I do pursue it I’m definitely leaning more towards philosophy.2
Experience with Plasma Mobile:
After an hour of confusion and bash file trolling (as in scrolling through a bash file, not trolling someone with a script), I ended up needing to reinstall Lineage OS on my phone.
While it's a new and seemingly exciting expanse for modern Linux and Android phones, it's very obviously not ready yet.
Even after fixing some bugs within the bash file, my phone seemed to have a mind of its own; prematurely attempting to boot into the OS during a critical part of the setup. Even after finishing the setup correctly, my phone never actually boots into the system.
While I like the concept behind Plasma Mobile, it does still have a ways to go. But I have some hopes that the project will start getting bigger and better as the time goes on.2
It doesn't matter if you've done multiple projects with different tools, languages, team sizes and requirements for ANY company / org etc.
You will feel fucking stupid while taking too long on some of these questions.
I know interview questions are mostly to test your critical thinking skills but fuck I feel so bad after 2 evenings of doing this shit.
It is addictive though...2
Odd question to a dev community who are naturally socially awkward that talks to their ducks.
Even then, for those of us who do have a social life, we just chill when we need to. Anyone who "tries" to balance their life would find it very stressful. Just go with it. Do what you need to do at that scheduled time and when time is up, do the other thing that you promised yourself.
Others: "Easier said than done! You don't have to push releases and squash bugs in critical moments!"
Then that's a trigger to the question, "Do you even live, bro? There's more to life than just dev all day err'day."
Don't think too much.
Back when rickrolling had hit critical mass - we decided to play a trick on a very fussy project manager. Long story short we embedded a very important message from the CEO of the company on a staging site. Said project manager was taken aback when Rick Astley took over the video.
I hate it when I have to work o weekends because my boss is like: "yep this is critical and I am really reliant on you ;)"
I FUCKING HATE THAT WINKY FACE1
Some of you might appreciate this, thought I'd share.
I'm currently on the board for a new school, and one of the choices we've made is to require a basic software programming class (most likely python) in middle school or jr high.
As a board, we've decided that it serves a couple great purposes: teach critical thinking and understanding (even a little bit) how software is written, since that's the axis of the world.3
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Bug, my feed is full of rants I already upvoted, and reloading it doesn't change the feed, I am on algo mode btw
My phone is a Samsung Galaxy grand prime Android 58
Critical bug in production? Sorry, can't fix it right now: We've got a build running with 1 hour of build time left, 8 hours of automatic tests, 3 days of manual testing, and a partridge in a pear tree. Your fix can be in the next release.
From my last rant, I'm now looking for Jobs.
I heard that a few people from here work in startups. Just wondering what your xp with these kind of companies are.
Also looking for some good critical questions that I may be able to ask.
I'm currently all about architecture, frontend and UI/UX1
Dev friends! I'm a teacher who is in the process of transitioning into the tech field. I've been working like crazy on and off in my spare time for the past couple years to build my skills and with it a resume. The other day I went to get someone with a developers perspective to proof read it and realised I didn't have anyone!
I hope I don't offend anyone by posting this here but I would appreciate that anyone who is willing and interested, if you would take a look at my resume repo I have and let me know what you think (on GitHub)! Please be critical, that's what makes things better! Side note. I'm constantly baffled by comradery in this community as a whole.
Spend all day debugging simple post request. Like really what is going on. Super simple. Eyes start to bleed. Check spelling on everything. Finally find out the access-control-origin isn't set right, other dev said it was whatever so glad I'm moving on. Nope. Same error running the app from Visual Studio. Check code again. Everything works in a browser. Windows, VS, or the emulator is blocking just POST requests. I can do get requests all day.
What hell. I'm so critical of my code I spend hours pouring over something I knew was right instead of looking for network errors. I just need to trust myself I guess.
Oh and Windows Cordova apps don't support ES6 lol.1
So a certain functionality in one of our critical systems has to be refactorised and changed to accommodate a new workflow.
So after several days of CTO, CEO talking with me, as I lead this project. We don't have a solution, so the CEO solution is asking fucking everyone in the company.
Juniors that can not tell between an interface or an abstract class come to my desk to tell me how the system should be designed.
Thanks a lot management to make my life easier.
Was working in an n-tier website, standard Web forms, BAL, DAL, database architecture. Validation and processing of data done in the BAL. Not the best idea, but whatever. Well apparently some developer thought it was too much work to pass his data through the BAL, so he directly accessed the DAL, performing zero validation on the data being passed in. Luckily, this was in a non-critical part of the site but the PM at the time nearly had a heart attack when I told him.
The most scary moment about running the code for the first time is when no errors are displayed and you're sure it's not because everything is working as intended but because the error is so critical it won't show itself so easly1
Level 1 support moron dishing out bad instructions from his flowchart.
Wanted me to edit config files for a production setup, which would've killed shipping for all stations, in the middle of our shipping rush.
Fixed the problem while in the escalation queue for level 2. L2 confirms the fix, and bemoans the shit documentation L1 provided.
If its a business class (mission critical) system, hire decent support staff! You might try testing people for reading/listening comprehension, and then paying them a decent wage! This isn't good for my blood pressure...
What do you mean by you'll shut down the government?!! The government will go on a fucking strike!!? How the fuck does that work?!! You can't make people pass laws by blackmailing that you'll stop doing your job that's so critical to the country!! You are the fucking president!!
Indian politics and laws are not perfect either... But I can't really imagine a prime minister here pulling shit like this!! Not that if I can't imagine it can't happen... Indian politicians know how to stopping lower and lower! But dafuq is that baffoon of a leader thinking!?6
- "I did the changes you asked but I reverted without commit the changes... It was 3 days of effort😅"
When you assign a critical task to the intern2
I feel the need for a personal AI is real. I mean at this stage of my life I feel replacing humans around/close to me with a strong AI.
The idea is kinda creation of a strong AI but control its learning ability limited to one user.
You have someone who understands you completely.
Knows what/how to talk no matter How's your mood.
Could be used to calm down the user even in critical situations.
Besides, if something doesn't workout just fucking tweak the code its yours no matter what the fuck you do with it.
Do I make sense??4
3 weeks into getting dragged into another MS-stack project, I have already been repeatedly reminded why I decided to invest so much energy in moving my career as far away from Microsoft dependency as possible. Even something as simple as reviewing settings on Azure App Service is a hit-or-miss affair, being completely unavailable for hours at a time at least once a week. Azure Functions are consistently unavailable for at least a few minutes every day. Don't even get me started on "Azure DevOps".
Why the fuck do people still place their trust (and critical infrastructure) in the hands of Microsoft?4
! rant, needing advice
I'm about to start a big and ambitious project, and I'm stuck with a dilemma: what to pick for the back end server, node js vs Java JEE
client gave me one week for major project critical redesign of a subsystem without having any specification, while rest of the team is focused on migrating to the latest server technology.
If you had to evacuate your office due to a fire without your laptop and the office was destroyed could you continue to work? Do you have offsite recovery laptops?
Developers usually have flexibility where they can work from but sometimes do not have backup machines available and configured.
As a side question - would your other critical processes - accounting, HR, sales be able to continue to keep your business going in a disaster - or would they be like deer in headlights?6
Don't intentionally discard data you can not recover from at least 1 other source. Log everything. Disk space costs less than critical data loss. Especially important working with server to server systems.
I have done some experiments on my server in the past. It's a great way to learn new things. However, I am bound to make some mistakes and over time the sever becomes messier and messier.
A week ago I installed UNRAID on my machine and I love it! I can now have my critical infrastructure live and working in docker containers and vms.
Then if I want to do an experiment I spin up a VM in a couple of minutes to do my thing and remove it when I am done. No traces left!
What's up with people being super cutthroat about best coding practices? In my experience it's not very well focused on in schools or especially for self taught devs, so what's with the critical attitude towards bad formatting or indenting, or perhaps less than par code organization? I get it's suboptimal but if someone doesn't know that it's wrong then what's with the fire and brimstone response? Not personal, just something I picked up on.3
Google is like the parent or teacher who is never happy with your work. I've never seen something so unattainable in a world where non-technical clients rely on CMSes, theme templating, server-side page rendering, and external scripting as Google's mobile PageSpeed recommendations. Especially under the Lighthouse audit in Chrome Inspector. Unless I go back to pre-2001 web development methods, and never have external scripting, and make every page have its own CSS file with only critical path CSS for each page, I will never get all the high scores I'm expected to have to rank well for mobile. When and how will Google get called out on this B.S.?9
Last night I came back from work completely drained, as usual, and thought to myself - "I'll just lie down for a second..." Next thing my alarm wakes me up 12 hours later - "What the... Again?!?"
It was just my biannual collapse from exhaustion. Now I'm good to go for at least six more months. Yay...
This is what happens when you have been working only on "critical" and "we have to do this or the company sinks" projects (are there any other kinds anyway?) for the past 10 years with NO rest between jobs and NO leisure vacations taken...
Funnily enough, this event coincides with my futile biannual introspective analysis on things I did wrong in my life.
Now back to saving the company...2
Expected to know everything about C# when all you've done is used Visual Studio to build an installer that bundles up someone else's C# app.
I'm a Web Dev not a magician (although at times I feel like it 😊).
Yes I've got a bit of the knowledge that's managed to get into my brain via osmosis but not mission critical level stuff.2
You just have to love it when a service at your company has the following character set to choose from [a-z][A-Z][0-9]. Not to bad, you might say... And then you realise that it needs to be 6-8 characters long. Who would design something like this?!? I'm happy that it's not too critical if something breaks.
I think whether this is even a project that should be done NOW
or if there's some critical dependency that some monkey just happened to have forgotten to tell me...
am i missing something or am i out of luck?5
When you get paged by your company to help investigate and fix critical issue in production and don't get time to work on the hackathon.
Coding made me who I am now. I have a much more organized mind and critical though. I have some new skills that are really useful when it comes to job hunting. I'm proud to do what I do, even if it's not that much. I love learning, coding just fits my style.
I am grateful that I started doing it, there's one big downside to coding though. We all know what it is: USERS!
Going back to drinking some coffee. Oh yea, that's how coding changed my life ;)
That awesome moment someone accidentally deleted all the Jenkins configs and you're just praying no critical bugs come up...1
What is your favorite method of debugging?
Mine is a debug log. I like a key value setting for enabling/disabling, and logging most transactions, calculations, and variables, even if they seem trivial. I've been able to locate bugs much quicker with detailed logs while some coworkers are still stepping through the process line by line. I don't fault the step method as I use it when logging uncovers nothing (it usually means I didn't log something critical :p) or when logging is not possible.1
As back end developer, I rarely have hands on production environment. When it happens, I need to ask my way around and since the office is empty that day, I ask the client directly. They give me a URL. Right away, I ask the credentials.
"Just connect to the URL"
"You mean, you have an open access of this software, having critical information of more than 50 000 persons, to the web?"
*Silence* "hahaha it appears that way"
Thankfully, a tactful manager handled the situation astutely and we never heard about it anymore.
Don't we love all happy ending?
That moment when you get asked if you know a language and database that your shop has never used, because an ex-employee in a different department decided to build a mission critical app on their own accord, and it just went tits up.
I wonder if there is any technical issues that prohibit the creation of open source websites.
By "web sites" I do not consider CMS like Drupal or word press, but rather entire end web site sources.
In fact anything (frontend, backend) except database content that contain user data and credentials.
Not for reusability purposes like CMSs, but simply for transparency and community development purposes, like almost any open source end application.
I agree that a web server is much more exposed than a classic desktop app, as it has lots of targetable private data and internet public access. But for some non-critical purpose this seems to be affordable in exchange of better code review, allowing a community to help improve a tool it uses, and better (not perfect though) transparency (which is an increasingly relevant question nowadays, mainly towards personal data usage).6
"We'll publish critical vulnerabilities in PGP/GPG and S/MIME email encryption on 2018-05-15 07:00 UTC. They might reveal the plaintext of encrypted emails, including encrypted emails sent in the past. #efail 1/4"
Let's see how this unfolds. While there is chaos I trink some tea and laugh, because I never send critical information over e-mail. 🧐🍵4
Question for people using devRant on iOS.
I’ve been running into a weird issue, which I’m not sure if I’m the only one.
The issue: When you get notifications on devRant and have read the notifications, but when you leave the app keeps saying you have notifications. (The count on the app keeps going up, and it randomly resets)
It’s nothing critical and I’m planning on opening a issue later, but wanted to see if anyone else is also running into this issue or if it’s just me. (iPhone 6s, iOS 11.3)
Let me know in the comments if you’ve experienced this issue also.2
Including critical build dependencies inside Android Studio.app instead of in a public repo... why?2
That moment, when code freeze is tomorrow and you have a critical jira ticket, which couldn't reproduced in your setup or the qa's, so that you end up resolving it without doing anything
I may have asked this before, but is Ada just an unpopular language? I mean, it was designed to be safety critical, but it seems at least in my job that all of the Ada products re being migrated to C++. Even safety critical stuff.3
Try leveraging retired laptops for disaster recovery. Companies can realize resilience and save a fortune doing this. Hey, if everyone evacuated your office right now could you continue to keep your critical processes going?3
QA: Finds and reports Critical Bug
Dev: Hotfix 2 days before next scheduled deploy, NP!
After Scheduled Deploy...
QA: Critical Bug is back
Dev: Oops, overwrote hotfix during Scheduled Deploy
Presumably this would come together with some form of universal income. Even Elon musk thinks this is a going to become critical in a few years time. So in that case I would spend my days creating things. I'd probably start with video games as that's my current hobby. But yeah, more time for creative activities would be awesome! Go ai!
A friend outsourced a project to us with partial requirements. We developed it as per the requirements and submitted the app and admin portal to his client. I was aware of certain critical features missing in the requirement. Generally we provide an admin portal to manage the backend of the app, but in this project a backend was to be made but the adding or modifying users section was not mentioned in the requirement. My team presented the project and convinced them to create or modify users writing SQL queries on the production DB (they are sales guys with no technical knowledge)
P.S - we won't be responsible for any DB errors :P
Started with VB.Net, moved to websites with WordPress. Shortly after I wanted more control over the output and started using CodeIgniter, then FuelPHP.
In the meantime, I learned Java to try making Android apps (and quickly gave up because both regular Java and Android APIs are a mess).
A robotics club started in school which made me go back to BASIC for programming Picaxe microcontrollers, then C++ for Arduinos.
Currently, I focus on progressive web apps and sometimes native libraries/programs with C++ when performance is critical.
All the learning was mostly done on YouTube (thenewboston channel)
Coding came years ago as a career change (evolved from a hobby), and though I was in engineering before, this career has brought my critical thinking to a whole new level.
Let's hope the government starts an initiative to get rid of fake editors. All the mainstream alternative editors will be banned from discussion in social media. People have to think critical and realize that there is only one editor: vi.1
Yesturday when I got off work I turned my PC off and it installed some updates... Came in the today turned on the PC and the fucking Win 10 instantly crashes with Sadface of Death "could not run critical service"
Recovery does not work as usual... No safe mode no nothing!
Fuck you Microsoft just stop puting your nose in to hardware and fix your fucking software! Now I have to reinstall all of my development tools and other work related shit... Thank god I pushed my changes!
When the client amends the content and removes critical items to be surfaced via the API just because. Fuck it I hate working with immature API's, guess fraud data till they fix it I hate doing shite twice.