Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "critical"
The smallest utility made its way to being the largest companies must-have, the most critical part of the whole development landscape.
Using just plain C, Git can shred huge amounts of data insanely fast. It never gets old.
Git is a developer's scalpel.12
Client: the platform isn't sending emails
Dev: I'll look into it
(Finds all emails are being sent without issue)
Client: I just tested and I'm not receiving emails. This is obviously a site wide bug and I'm upping the priority to "Critical". I'm also getting everyone over here involved.
(Looks into clients account)
Dev: you didn't turn the setting on to allow emails to be sent to you.
Client: this is still a site wide bug that is affecting everyone.
(Provides screenshots showing emails are being sent and opened. Client closes ticket and doesn't respond anymore)12
So, a piece of advice for all new programmers that want to find the best way to progress.
When I first started, I had this set list of things that I believed to be critical to being an elite-grade programmer, some of which was actually detrimental to my ability to perform. Here is some advice you should heed, because I have learned it the hard way.
1. Cater your tools to you, but don't overdo it.
I used to believe that using terminal editors, and more "hardcore" (difficult to use) editors would in the long run make me a stronger developer, and in turn, be capable of more. I learned this the hard way with Vim, an editor which I have significant appreciation for. Every time I opened up Vim in the last little bit, I just get an extreme sense of exhaustion, and I realized that I was overdoing the tool catering. VSCode, though it is missing a lot of really nice shortcuts that Vim has, doesn't make me feel exhausted. So I tweak it to have all the extensions I actually use, a great theme, and a font that I love (Fira Code, Dracula Theme, Git Lens, etc)
2. Your language of choice does *NOT* make you a lesser or better programmer.
3. Shit takes time
Programming is a long, arduous path. It is not easy, it is not simple, and it is a constant learning experience. You will never stop learning. The day you stop learning, you are no longer a "developer".
4. The basics are important.
The basic datatypes, algorithms, and design patterns are boring as fuck to learn. They're the most difficult things to get through, but once equipped with these, they come in play as some of the most critical pieces of knowledge you should know.
5. Code is meant to be read.
Write your code so most people can understand what is going on. I can elaborate on this further, but generally, follow a consistent style, add comments, and be vigilant with formatting the code to be as expressive as possible with as little code as possible. So, don't instantiate an object, then assign to each individual field after it without some formatting. Add some spaces so the start of the word lines up.
6. You are not Linus Torvalds.
This was a serious confidence killer for me. I was always comparing myself to the greatest programmers there are out there, and if I wasn't at least "close", I was never good enough. I can firmly confirm that this line of reasoning is *bullshit*. I mean it. If you know the basics, and textbooks don't really offer too much anymore, you're good.
7. Proof of your work is more powerful than your certifications.
Your GitHub/GitLab/Project Repos are more critical than any piece of paper you could ever have. If you have just something on your GitHub, solving actual problems, you will get further than just a cert/degree. So, think of a project and work on it. If you give up on the project, /state why you gave up/ in the description.
8. Put yourself out there.
If you don't have a job yet in development, put yourself out there. The world will not give you what you do not ask and work for, so work for what you want, and ask for work. Ask for what you're worth, and check yourself that you're being reasonable. If you do not have the balls to apply and go to interviews, why would the world give you a job?
9. Don't be an elitist.
Elitism will cost you more jobs, more time, more head ache, and more suffering than you could imagine. I have not experienced this myself, but I've been witness to the side effects. The elitist programmers who talk about "perfect code" are the ones that never get anything done, aren't fulfilled in their careers, and learn the slowest. Dogma and elitism will kill your future harder and faster than mistakes.
10. Always remember what you love about your craft.
There will be periods of time that stretch for weeks where every day you go "God damn I hate this", and you forget why you do this. But seriously, take some time and remember what you love, why you love, and how you love your craft. If you're not doing this because you love it, get out of the way so someone who wants it has a chance. Do something that actually speaks to you.
That summarizes a list of things that I have learned in my time programming that I believe will be critical to the success of every and any programmer that is just getting started. Never stop dreaming, noobs ;)17
Yeah, Sex is fun. but have you ever done debugging critical production issue when you're high on alcohol ?12
It happened to one of my friend at work place.
So my friend is a UI developer and was working on a super critical project with very tight deadline. He was waiting for design team to give him mocks and web api team for giving Apis, so he can start his work. Now there are 4 days left for deadline and none of the parties are ready with their work, and my friend is sitting idle. Management is getting anxious day by day. So one program management lady called him the weak link in the standup meeting and started putting blame on him for the delay in the project. Guy tried to explain that it's not his fault and he is stuck. But that lady was not in a mood to listen.
Now come the next day, in morning he got the design ready and complete Apis from other teams. That day he missed the standup meeting, worked whole night and completed the work with two days remaining for deadline. He went to standup meeting after completing the work, and when the turn came for him to give his status, he started with "the weak link has finished the work". There was a pin drop silent in the room. He continued to give his update like this for next couple of days. And finally that lady was forced to apologize in meeting room by him.7
Going on a vacation, so notify all clients that I won't be available during two weeks.
Client: well we have this huge presentation and here's a list of stuff we absolutely need for it
Me: sure I have a look.
Me: holy shit dude! That's gona take about 2-3 days. I'm leaving soon!
Client: it's realy critical to have them in a week as it's a very important presentation! Is there any way you can make it work? If we can do anything to help, just name it.
Me: well I'll do my best (planed 1 day for such rhings)
Me: *pulling a 15h day*
Me: here, all done budy! Did a 15h but now it's done, so do that presentation!
Client: oh, nice, but it wasn't that urgent
Client ssh in to the server, fucks shit up
Client: well I did a thing and now stage and prod is fucked, can you do anything?
Me: (knowing it will take 30min to fix) well... I try my best. Btw. I'll leave in a few hours and won't take my computer, so try not to fuck every thing again, okay?
We were all 16 once right? When I was 16, my school had a network of Windows 2000 machines. Since I was learning java at the time, I thought learning batch scripting would be fun.
One day I wrote a script that froze input from the mouse and displayed a pop up with a scary “Critical System Error: please correct before data deletion!!”. It also displayed a five minute countdown timer, after which the computer restarted.
I may or may not have replaced the internet explorer icon on the desktop with a link to my program on the entire student lab of computers. Chaos.12
Fuck you, devs who quote Knuth:
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil"
I agree with the spirit of the quote. I agree that long-winded arguments comparing microsecond differences in performance between looping or matching constructs in a language syntax is almost always nonsense. Slightly slower code can even be preferable if it's significantly clearer, safer and easier to maintain.
But, two fucking points need to be made to you lazy quickfix hipsters trying to sell your undercooked spaghetti code as "al dente", just fucking admit that you had no clue what you were doing.
So here we go:
1. If you write neat correct code in one go, you don't need to spend time to optimize it. Takes time to learn the right patterns, but will save you time during the rest of your career.
2. If you quote Knuth, at least provide the context: "We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time [...] Yet we should not pass up our opportunities in that critical 3%"
YES THAT CRITICAL 3% IS WHERE YOU MESSED UP.
I'll forgive you for disgorging your codevomit into this silly PR.
BUT YOU'RE QUOTING KNUTH IN YOUR DEFENSE?
Premature optimization is the root of all evil... 6300 SQL queries to show a little aggregate graph on the dashboard... HE WOULD FUCKING SLAP YOUR KEYBOARD IN HALF IN YOUR FACE.5
Yesterday: Dear Diary, today the client changed their mind on a critical part of the project.
Today: Dear Diary, (see yesterday).5
Yeah, there are other more earth shattering, mission critical projects that save lives and drive humanity foreword etc. etc.
Boss: Something urgent has come up, can you take care of this.
Me: Okay.... But I am already working on X and it's a critical thing.
Boss: No, X is no longer of priority. You need to now pick up Y.
Me: But I was already........ Never mind. Yeah sure I will start working on Y.
Boss : What is the update on X?
Me: I was working on Y, also wasn't it de prioritized.
Boss : I think I was very clear when I communicated to you that X is very critical. Also you need to learn to manage your time.
Me: FUCK MY LIFE19
Not so much screaming as staring in disbelief, mumbling profanity in his direction...
When my department lead said "I don't think this unit testing hype or code reviews make much sense, it's more efficient to just make a checklist and test the application yourself"
This was the QA department of an aerospace company, we wrote NDT software to do image recognition on xrays of alloy welds and micrometer laser measurements on fuel tank surfaces. Software which is quite mission critical, a single misrecognized welding fault could literally cost up to half a billion dollars — not to mention that it's a very sabotage & espionage sensitive industry.
After raising some hell he was replaced though.4
Boss: we are going to build a blockchain. ( he is smiling proudly)
Me: we are doing data visualization boss!!! Why we need the blockchain?!?!?
Boss: I am disappointed in you!!! You don’t read any Tech news or follow the market trends? BlockChain is tending nowadays... ( showing angry emoji using his face)
Me: it is not related to our work by anything!!! What we will visualize? A success of the transition? The amount of it? A visualization of the nodes?
Boss: (shouting) there are a lot of opportunities using the BlockChain in our days, and it is critical to our business...
Me: boss, there many opportunities using the ******* BlockChain, and I am leaving this company by the end of the month... find a ******* BlockChain developer to visualize the ******* process...
Boss: ........ (silence)
Me: .... (already resigned)7
1. If your contract allows it (and it should), get more involved in public dev community. Your employer benefits greatly from making a small closed source core product, with a giant open source ecosystem around it. Write public articles. Working in a community larger than one single business is fun.
2. Start a company coding club, a "labs" division, work in a slightly more exotic language. Great if your employer gives you time, but using some of your own is worth it too. Work on non critical tools, creative experiments. Sometimes you stumble onto incredibly valuable ideas which would never have popped up if you had strictly followed stakeholder requirements.
3. Listen to your body. If you feel restless, go for a run. If you feel tired, take a nap. If you're stuck, wander around the company. If you feel down, go find a place with more than a dozen trees. And always have a notepad nearby for doodling!3
I was in a public place on my laptop, and my laptop went into hibernation to save battery. I switched it back on and then the laptops BIOS came up saying that the battery was critically low, nothing bad here.
Instead of clicking continue, I decided to press "Diagnostics" instead. The diagnostics immediately began to run in the BIOS.
The screen began to show different coloured bars and patterns, obviously a screen test. Then a prompt appeared asking me if coloured bars were displayed. The options were yes and no, and a button saying "Exit" in the top right. Me, not wanting to do a full diagnostics on such a low battery, pressed exit.
The screen turned black, and then flashed red. The beeper on the motherboard began to beep at an ear-piercing volume. It sounded as if it was a bomb about to go off. Everyone around me stared and some people began to even panic. I tried switching it off by holding the power button but nothing was happening. People were just staring all around me.
After about 10 seconds, the beeping stopped and the screen displayed an error message similar to this:
"CRITICAL ERROR: Monitor test FAILED.
No user input was provided."
Moral of the story: Make your program account for all possible options.11
Come back from vacation to find that 80+ e-mails were sent out to the entire team for a critical process that was failing to run due to an incorrect password. No one did anything for a week. Fixed it in 30 seconds.6
Got an interview invitation from HR.
Accepted it without looking at the interviewee's profile (rookie mistake).
Finally looked at his profile. He was 5 times, 5 times more experienced than me. Had a STRONG resume.
Was under pressure a lot of pressure. I realized I was not at all suitable for being this guys interviewer.
Just one good thing. It was his first round and was going to be a telephonic round after which we were going to fly him down.
Clock ticked 6. Time for interview. More nervousness.
Called him. Guy picked up. Introduced myself. In a calm voice he says, he is busy with a very critical bug. Can we reschedule?
Now this will generally piss me off. But this time I was relieved 😅8
Bossman freaks out over every little thing (ironically unless it's important).
Bossman also just set our papertrail 500 filter to forward him a copy of every "critical alert."
He has zero technical knowledge and zero reading comprehension. He literally forwarded one and said "This has one lots of info in it. explain it to me." (It was a log usage notification. in plain English. It had maybe three numbers in it.)
There's lots of useless "500"s in the list we don't care about. API Guy used the finer as a debugging alert system, and peppered his logs with "500 internal hey look at this." In fact, none of the 500s were even interesting; all but one was spam.
All day I've been tending to freakouts and accusations of me not doing anything. Ugh.8
Manager: Give me an estimate for this project.
Me: It will take end to end approx two months.
Manager: Can you do it in a day. Make some magic happen. This is high critical for business.
Me: Sure. I have a small requirement from you to achieve it.
Me: Please get me the 'Limitless' capsule.10
15 mins after finding out a critical bug (we are releasing 3 days from now)
Me: Have u found the root cause of the bug?
Me: So, are we fucked?
Teammate: Teammate is typing...
*Closes chat window*
*Locks the computer*
*Flies back to home country*3
A critical vulnerability was detected in Electron and I urge all the devRantron users to update their app manually.
Please go to https://www.devrantron.com get the latest version which has the necessary patches.
Due to a request, we added compact mode in the app, which can be used to view a distraction-free mode of the UI. Notifications screen is a little bit more readable now. The read notifications are now greyed out.
Again, the auto update will not work for this version. Please manually update as soon as possible.6
Devrant has a critical performance issue. It kills my performance. I believe more users can be affected9
Ranting on behalf of a sysadmin friend of mine.
He went to one of their clients for some task(on a Friday). He had, ~8 years ago set up a nas for them.
He while doing his task(some server setup) he noticed that the NAS was extremely slow, so he asked the local sysadmin about it:
Friend(f): That NAS, what's up with it? Have you been maintaining it, like agreed?
idiot local admin(i): Nothing, haven't touched it since you set it up.
f: You mean you haven't even run an update or checked the drives in 8 years? Did you set up a backup server?
i: No, I didn't.
f: You idiot!
My friend interrupts his work and immediately checks the server to find that 7 drives in the RAID have already failed and one more is almost failing(ie, already slowed significantly).
If 8 fail, the entirety of the data is gone, without backup. It contains all business critical data.
He shut's the NAS down immediately, and working the weekend he manages to build a new NAS and migrate all data.
What does he get from the CEO for liter all saving his business?
A gift, a thank you, money?
No, an angry letter, because he "insulted" one of his employees.
WHAT AN UNGRATEFUL FUCK!24
So apparently two "senior" "laravel-engineers" spent a total billed 35 hours trying to figure out a "critical bug" which "doesn't happen locally".
I went to the dev-console, saw it is generating http urls (fronted by cloudflare https, running on http server-side) and fixed that in maybe ~15 minutes, fucking morons.10
Client: "the content is pretty confusing and inconsistent. Would you say the frontend is ready?"
Me:"please do not ask that way."
Client: "i just asked a question. What do you mean?"
Me: "well.. you basically say that is bad and then asked me if I thought it was bad."
Client:" i was asking a question. It is your problem if you find that offensive. You were to deliver a finished design until 3pm. "
Me:"you just reviewed it and came up with new input..and apart from that there were just some buttons in the wrong shade."
Client:"yes but I expect that kind of critical input from the developer. "
Me: "I understand, but this was a tiny project for 300 cash. I can't go all out on a budget like this. "
Client:"but all the other jobs I gave you lately were paid much better.."
Me: "yes. Those were other jobs, right? Should I feel obliged to work overtime I eager expectation of more and different work?"
Client: "you used to be more excitable...."
Worst interview rejection? I've had two bad ones.
Interviewed at a local software company. Was 10/10. Nailed everything. CEO said he wanted to hire me and would call next week.
Fucking ghosted me. Found out later that my boss' cousin worked there... Oops...
On the bright side I got a 10% raise and immediately shipped off to conference that happened to take place at Disneyland plus the option to bring my family, so I couldn't really be too pissed. :)
The one that pissed me off though was a netadmin interview in Portland. I fucking nailed the phone screening. Like, "How does DHCP work?", so I gave a breakdown at the protocol level, he stopped me half way and said "It gives computers addresses" was all he really needed. Above and beyond answers on every screening question. My resume is a perfect fit for the posted position.
Interview is 4 guys who want me to fucking whitebox a small business server down to picking the RAID controllers and disk models.
Number one, what kind of cheapass piece of shit fucking parts out a mission critical business server with no warranty and no redundancy? They need like 3 VMs you tards. Fucking host it right instead of shoving a Frankenstein piece-of-shit in some leaky closet.
Number two, why the flying fuck was there not a single mention of server hardware on the posting or during the screening? I don't know that shit! One question or mention would've saved everyone a ton of time.
But most of all, Number 3:
WHAT KIND OF FUCKTARD SPECS OUT A MOTHERFUCKING EXCHANGE SERVER FOR A 20 PERSON OFFICE? BITCH USE OFFICE 365 IT'S 20 FUCKING PEOPLE MY FUCKING GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR STUPID ASS?
Apparently "use O365 or Google Apps" was the wrong answer. Which is when I realized they were money grubbing filth and I didn't want to work for them anyway. Fuck that.1
- I'm forced to do dev on Windows with no admin because security
- We receive patches to critical systems from outside company on FTP secured with password "asd123" and install them without reading because fuck security2
--- New API allows developers to update Android Apps while using them ---
Today, at the Android Dev Summit, Google announced a new API which allows developers to update an app while using it.
Until now, you were forced to close the app and were locked out of it until the update has finished.
This new API adds two different options:
1.) A Full-Screen experience which locks the user out of the app which should be used for critical updates when you expect the user to wait for the update to be applied immediately. This option is very similar to how the update flow worked until now.
2.) A flexible update so users can keep using the app while it's updating. Google also said that you can completely customize the update flow so it feels like part of your app!
For now, the API is only available for early-access partners, but it will be released for everyone soon!
Url shortener seems to be working well enough as for the features without interface yet, still doing testing but it's looking good (few minor non-critical bugs but that's it as far as I can see)
Now the frontend/interface.
First fucking night of being on call again.
Normally I set an alarm at 3 to check if any critical disruptions have been going on.
But why the fuck would I need that if I woke up every fucking hour at night anyways?
I'm fucking tired right now and agitated as hell.5
It's Friday. It's story time.
A day to enjoy and relax even while at work, isn't it?
While you all celebrate the end of the week, I bang my head against the wall.
We have an application to store our test cases. The database was not backed up for last month.
Well, you get the idea, but I will continue.
I really worked hard for last month on a humongous and complex functionality. I made sure, I double executed everything, record the output with a very high precision and document the results.
I was focused on smallest of the smallest thing. Never had I worked so much on anything.
Every task completed and submitted. Proud and happy I was. But somehow it felt weird and I had a gut feeling that my efforts will be wasted and I need not work so much.
Dooms day arrived. We had to upgrade the database software.
My super humourous and intelligent manager decides to do it without any back.
SHIT GOT CORRUPTED AND WE WERE STUCK FOR TWO WEEKS.
AND I FUCKING LOST ONE MONTH OF MY CRITICAL WORK.
I AM SO ANGRY THAT I AM LAUGHING AND CLAPPING LIKE A RETARDED SEAL.14
Way back when, someone named a critical table in our schema as plural, not singular. So it's a Dogs table not a Dog table. No other table is like that. In any case that forced our Hibernate entities to also be plural.
Dogs dogs = new Dogs() ;
List<Dogs> dogss = blahblah
You get it. And yes dogss is what collections of Dogs entities are called.
Today I found out why the table is plural. It never dawned on me before, but the name of the table is Orders. The name of the table is Orders, you see, because Order is a reserved word in SQL. So clearly, there is no way to name your table that.10
It's really fascinating how managers can act surprised over a critical prod issue especially after the whole dev department warned them repeatedly.3
What I would define as a critical bug:
- System doesn't respond
- Functionality is broken
- Client data is all wrong
What QA defines as a critical bug:
- Typo on this page in the QA environment2
--- URGENT: Major security flaw in Kubernetes: Update Kubernetes at all costs! ---
Detailed info: https://github.com/kubernetes/...
If you are running any unpatched versions of Kubernetes, you must update now. Anyone might be able to send commands directly to your backend through a forged network request, without even triggering a single line in the log, making their attack practically invisible!
If you are running a version of Kubernetes below 1.10... there is no help for you. Upgrade to a newer version, e.g. 126.96.36.199
The way things are prioritized:
Fuck sakes.. 😣12
follow on from my last rant.
I've finally gotten my new Jira project. Only thing I seem to have access to change is the Kanban board columns. Still has 50+ fields when creating a ticket etc.
Asked the support team handling the request if this was a mistake. He said no, i'll need to open another ticket to have those changes requested.
Opened and got a reply. Currently there are 2 versions of Jira running. They are working on consolidating them atm and won't help me right now until this is done. I've been asked to re-open my request after the consolidation is done in March 2019.
5 ... fucking ... months, so I can have a competent ticketing process.
He pointed me to a page explaining the move and listing all the changes taking place. Well lets look at the changes they are making that are so critical:
Change 14: Rename "More info" status to "Needs more info".
... Oh pardon me. I didn't realise such critical show stoppers were being addressed. Please do continue. Don't mind me, i'll just be over here taking 4 hours to create an Epic and 6 stories. As you were10
I committed a bug fix that was about 4 lines changed but a full day of critical thinking.
The next day my boss tells me, that I clearly wasted company time and that I should be producing at least 200 lines of code a day. When will people learn that lines of code is not an accurate measurement of work accomplished?3
Pro tip: As great as your product is, it's 1000x harder to pitch to my boss when it has a goofy-ass name.
Me: Hey boss, I came across some new software that'll help manage our mission critical database system.
Boss: Oh yeah, what's it called?
Me: WoolySocksDB Enterprise Edition
Boss: 😐... No.4
I'm leaving my job.
That had already been decided when I learned that the only other front end guy at the company put in his two weeks notice. I immediately decided that I was morally obligated to put in my 4 months notice to give the company enough time to find a replacement (because, contrary to the beliefs of some programmers, front end plays a critical role in web dev).
With only 2 weeks left, I was put on his project to do some "simple design work".
Jesus christ in heaven alive and dead...
I've never in my career seen CSS with such an intense level of specificity -- nobody on that team should have ever let that code get so out of control.
I've spent the past week cursing, walking out of the room, whispering "I can't believe you've done this", ranting to non-developer friends.
Here's an example: the application has a panel used all over the place with a header and a body. Every Single View has it's own duplicated panel, each with its own unique class names and CSS. And that's just one element.
Every view has hundreds of lines of duplicated CSS. Every button, link, list, all with unique styles.
To any junior developer reading this, please hear me: Write one block of CSS for any element that will be reused. DO NOT duplicate your code when it can be used over and over.
I just had a rather stressful morning. I should've known something was up by the sounds of thunder as I walked into the office.
I sat down and checked my emails. There was an email from the boss who was away on a business trip. The subject read, "CRITICAL BUG" and my name was mentioned. "Great...No time for coffee", was my first thought.
I began searching commits to see when and how the bug came to be. "SHIT! It was my fault", I said aloud.
(A bit of backstory, I am Irish, working in Germany with a B2 level of the German language.)
I now had to communicate the problem quickly with a senior developer who is Russian. He can't speak English well and I would not expect him to speak it. We are in Germany after all. I tried my best to communicate the issue, but I found it so difficult to understand his German in a Russian accent. Normally, in the office I speak German except when it is urgent and I must explain a problem in greater detail through English. I got past that obstacle, however, the real challenge of fixing the bug awaited.
After 2 hours of coding, I had a solution and committed it to the master branch. All the while, I had been replying to the bosses emails with updates, probably with many grammer mistakes.
We have no dedicated testers here and the code is written in a way which makes it very difficult to test (i.e. it was written many years ago). When I had initially written the code, I tested rigorously and found no issues.
Just needed to rant. I need a coffee break now...4
So the company I work for had a critical project they needed done in 8 days.
We told our boss it wasn't possible because of the scope of the project but he went on with motivational speeches about how anything is possible. So he hired 12 devs for 8 days.
The scope of the project is already big enough but everyday upper management either add 10 new features, modify 2, or delete some already.
We basically sleep 2 hours a day and today is the last day. 5 minutes ago we just had a meeting that we're supposed to change a core feature. We don't even have a stable system yet and everyone is fucking pissed.16
Screaming at a coworker?
The INTJ in me has prevented that pretty well in almost every critical devSituation.
BUT one time in the past, I was really close to a level 9001 scream:
This fucker, despite having been told about code formatting guidelines and DRY/KISS multiple times, had the balls to commit such utterly crappy and unreadable code that I almost bursted.
He quickly realized his mistake after I reset the repo to before his push, disabled his Gitlab account and wrote him a simple email containing the text:
"IF YOU EVER COMMIT SUCH SHIT AGAIN, THERE WILL BE UNFORESEEN CONSEQUENCES. GFYS."
After a peaceful coffee and a croissant I decided to re-enable his account. He did good after that.5
Surprise surprise, that unrealistic deadline you set even when the engineering team told you that it wasn't going to work has backfired! Maybe you wouldn't be so stressed if you learnt to listen? It's a pretty basic skill, or at least I thought so.
Oh and when you say "we have two options, stay late or work weekends" you have a critical bug in your conditional. Your missing option 3, go the fuck home. Time to enjoy my weekend with friends and family.4
$ npm audit
> found 19 vulnerabilities (10 low, 5 moderate, 3 high, 1 critical)
$ npm audit fix
> fixed 0 of 19 vulnerabilities in 11987 scanned packages
> (use `npm audit fix --force` to install breaking changes; or do it by hand)
$ npm audit fix --force
> npm WARN using --force I sure hope you know what you are doing.
Me too, buddy. Me too.1
I just want to add my 2 Cents to the all this GDPR chaos. Because I feel lots of you are missing the point here.
When reading here about GDPR I hear all kinds of fair statements of how flawed it is and how it's mainly hurting the small companies etc etc.
I agree, at this state GDPR might actually be doing more harm than good.
However, I don't think that is what it is about. It's about going in the right direction. If you read/look over the course of history we've had several technological revolutions. Industrial, renaissance. They all start the same:
"This technology is going to change everything, it's going to solve all our problems!" It's something holy. Something that shouldn't be touched or regulated, only embraced.
But as we all know it wasn't all that pretty.
Industrial revolution was hard super underpaid, dirty work. Children had to work too. People were getting sick. Lots of alcoholism, depression.
And what made the factories start taking better care of their employees? Regulation.
Once fines start to come, companies will have to adapt.
We have to learn and understand that these systems like government, company, capitalism. They're built for reasons. They all exist for reasons. And only when it is in balance, things will flourish.
So I encourage you all to stay as critical as you are, but to give it a chance. To have a bit of faith.
It might just turn into something worthwhile!
Thanks for reading!:)5
It happend again.... Saturday, nice weather.....
And I am at the airport again because of a critical bug.... Goddammit why......5
Yesterday, after six months of work, a small side project ran to completion, a search engine written in django.
It's a thing of beauty, which took many trials, including discovering utf8 in mysql isn't the full utf8 spec, dealing with files that have wrong date metadata, or even none at all, a new it backup policy that stores backups along side real data.
Nevertheless, it is a pretty complete product. Beaming with pride I began to get myself a drink, and collapsed onto the floor, this caused me to accidentally hibernate my computer, which interrupted the network connection, which in turn caused an OSError exception in one of my threads, which caused a critical part of code not to run, which left a thread suspended, doing nothing.
From the floor I looked at my error and realised my hubris and meditated on my assumptions that in theory nothing should interrupt a specific block of code, but in reality something might, like someone falling over...7
I built a tracking suite for our fleet of printers quite some time ago. Once a day, "bizteam" (aka sales) gets an alert detailing how many printers are in critical need of attention (out of paper, mechanical error, etc.), and how many of them are flat-out offline. They don't seem to care. I mean they do, I think? but. the offline percentage hasn't changed much in the past month or two.
These printers constitute a primary part of our business model and... screw it. they're goddamn important, okay?
A full 16% of our printers are OFFLINE. Most of those HAVE BEEN OFFLINE FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS.
3% of our printers have been online BUT OUT OF PAPER FOR OVER A MONTH.
and what really baffles me...
We've convinced a few of these merchants to actually plug in their goddamn printers. (and yes, they actually *paid* for these things, and they're absolutely not cheap.) Some of those were previously both offline AND out of paper, yet after being plugged in, they're *STILL* OUT OF PAPER?! What the crap, people! It's a printer! it's not difficult! It's the same as every other fucking printer you have! and it's probably the same goddamn fucking model!
Did AlexDeLarge skullfuck your brain into mush? FIX YOUR SHIT!12
Ah finally, the moment when being a web developer is full of joy.
☑️ Server-side rendering
☑️ Inline critical css
☑️ Add progressive image loading
☑️ Minify everything
☑️ Automate release process in CI
☑️ Lint everything
Now that the strucutre is up, time to code the actual website. This is gonna be good!8
Have been trying to setup Netdata as a monitoring system for a while now and finally got it working!
Instead of the built-in webhooks I just did a curl to a url containing a php page/file which error logs the status and description (just for testing).
It took me way too long to get it to work but BAM.
Immediately made a new cpu load rule (one minute high load):
The satisfaction of getting an error message in the php logs containing my custom rule as warning and a minute later as critical 😍
Five US quarters are about 1oz in weight and should hold down most keys on most keyboards.
I knew this because we had an error on a server with a pop up window that was only "ok". We couldn't kill the process because critical so we left a stack of change on enter until it it was done running and we could leave for the night.3
Apple flips the bird to devs again...
So I go to release a new version of my app (critical updates and bug fixes from mgmt) and I had just updated my phone. Yeah, that was a fucking mistake.
“This version of Xcode is not compatible with the new version of iOS.”
Ok... update Xcode...
“The new version of Xcode is not compatible with your version of OSX”
WTF?! This version isn’t that old? Fine... update OSX. 5 hours later...
“Hey, just wanted to let you know that we decided to break every one of your web development tool setting and basically nothing works on your computer now, oh yeah, and we’re Apple so FUCK YOU.”11
Can we talk about this for a second? I mean WTF, how is Windows XP still a thing. Wasn't there a ransomeware attack recently, so every last sys admin should have some motivation to upgrade their shit?
Sure, I hear you say, it's just an information display. No critical stuff.
Well guess what, it was at an airport. Most likely not connected to any critical infrastructur, but still it's a computer, stuck at the boot screen at 11 a.m. running windows XP, connected to an airport network.
And I was standing there like: fuck me!14
We have a pretty simple rule in our team:
Do not deploy to production on Friday.
Well thanks to the client being very slow to reply to me, they only signed off on launching the app at 15:30 on Friday, for a big campaign the app was built to facilitate starting Saturday.
Guess who had to bite the bullet and launch a new app into production at 15:30 on Friday.
Guess who got a text from his boss at 19:30 that there was a critical change required tonight.
Guess who was making code changes and deploying to production at 21:15 on Friday night while drinking Gin and tonic...
Nb This was a project only i was assigned to and came in as a rush job at the last minute.9
Attempting to access my colleague's NFS directory on his VM, don't know the VM's IP address, hostname or password:
- 2 minutes with nmap to narrow the possible IPs down to ~30
- Ping each and look for the one with a Dell MAC prefix as the rest of us have been upgraded to Lenovo. Find 2 of these, one for the host and one for the virtual machine.
- Try to SSH to each, the one accepting a connection is the Linux VM
- Attempt login as root with the default password, no dice. Decide it's a lost cause.
- Go to get a cup of tea, walk past his desk.
- PostIt note with his root password 😶
FYI this was all allowed by my manager as he had unpushed critical changes that we needed for the release that day.6
As much as I love opensource I hate really hate some of its actvie community members (read this as "freetards" <-- see urbandictonary). As a .Net + web devloper with minimal C experience (I just started learning it) and literally no Python experience its not really easy to contribute for me to many (most) opensource software for linux. I am using some <unnamed software> and I found a <critical bug>, it was easy to reproduce and I wrote for list of possible solutions, found it in a code and linked and basically wrote a docummentation longer than any other I ever wrote for every single project I did ever, combined. This <software> was critical for my server and since owner of github repo and few other people there were really active, I hoped that this bug with pretty good documentation will be solved fast, I went to my bed with a heroic feeling of an open source community contributor that helped saving world. I was horribly wrong. Tomorrow, I got 3 passively agressive responses from owner and other 2 freetards that summed up said <other1>:"oh thats nice, fix i yourself and commit it", <other2>:"have a sex with yourself" in a nice way, and <owner>: "fix my softwate and create mrege request". After replying that I have no experience my Python skills are not on a level requied for such an action, he messaged me on twitter I have linked to my GitHub profile saying even less nicely that I am a "retarded c*nt" and that I should learn Python and fix it myself. This makes me stay with my Windows based Server for some time now, fuck this. I googled his github nickname and guess what. Our main freetard is admin on an <unnamed linux forum> and mebmber of many other "computer help" with literally half of his posts just slightly toxic posts about how everyone should use linux and how supreme it is ober anything other, the other hals was crying why linux has only 1% of market share. Oh boi I am not sure why but ITS MAYBE BECAUSE OF FREETARDS LIKE YOU.
And the funnies thing is, hes not only freetard, he is just fullstack retard. One of his posts is "helping" to some <noob windows user> installing Linux. tl:dr for this las part: Freetard basically wiped all data of that <noob>.
PS: Bless everyone who do not respond "oh nice, now you can do it yourself"11
Anon thinks about replacing Car ECU with Raspberry Pi 3
>>Other anons think that there is only one ECU and its only used to control critical functions
/g/ is a weird gold mine 😂😂😂2
An important message:
PrOpErLy managing servers is HARD.
I get pissed off at customers with ZERO server knowledge who think they can manage their VPS. “Just get a control panel and a VPS” from some flashy provider that makes server management look way too easy.. Clicking around in their fancy control panel, until:
- they need help with their *self-managed* VPS;
- their email ends up in spam;
- they suffer from performance issues;
- they need to restore a backup;
- something breaks, because YES, things break
Way too little people are able to answer:
- when and how do you make backups?
- how do you monitor your servers and which services?
- how do you keep track of trend analysis?
Then I come by with necessary software. SNMP for trend analysis, Graphite for infrastructure health, Sensu for monitoring, Kibana, Ansible for configuration management..
Things that servers need but that customers have never even heard of.. because they can do everything in their control panel..
Until they come crying to me because it broke and they don’t even know how to get into SSH.
I think the ones to blame are VPS providers that tell the tale of how easy it is to install a control panel and never look at your server again.
Customers become responsible for something *business-critical*! Yet they don’t know how it works.6
That moment that you get some kind of pretty critical error/bug/crash in an application in production and you can't reproduce it anymore and you're just sitting there praying that it won't happen again 😥4
Just need to get this off my chest. Started a new job 3 weeks ago at a company that has been around ~18 years, it is only recently that they have started to grow more rapidly. I was brought in under the guise that they wanted to embrace change and better practices and so said I was up for the challenge.
In my 2nd week I was asked to produce a document on tackling the technical debt and an approach to software development in the future for 3 consultants who were coming in to review the development practices of the company on behalf of the private equity firm who has taken a major stake in the company. I wrote the document trying to be factual about the current state and where I wanted to go, key points being:
Currently a tightly coupled monolith with little separation of concerns (73 projects in one solution but you have to build two other solutions to get it to build because there are direct references.).
Little to no adherence to SOLID principles.
No automated testing whatsoever.
Libraries all directly referenced using the file system rather than Nuget.
I set out a plan which said we needed to introduce TDD, breaking dependencies, splitting libraries into separate projects with nuget packages. Start adhering to SOLID principles, looking at breaking the project down into smaller services using the strangler pattern etc. After submitting what I had written to be part of a larger document I was told that it had been tweaked as they felt it was too negative. I asked to see the master document and it turns out they had completely excluded it.
I’ve had open and frank discussions with the dev team who to me have espoused that previously they have tried to do better, tackle technical debt etc but have struggled to get management to allow them. All in all a fairly poor culture. They seem almost resigned to their fate.
In my first 2 weeks I was told to get myself acquainted and to settle myself in. I started looking at the code and was quite shocked at how poorly written a lot of it was and in discussions with my manager have been critical of the code base and quite passionate and opinionated about the changes I want to see.
Then on Friday, the end of my third week, I was invited to a meeting for a catch up. The first thing I was told was that they felt I was being too openly critical in the office and whether I was a good fit for the company, essentially a stay or go ultimatum. I’ve asked for the weekend to think about it.
I’ve been a little rocked by it being so quickly asked if I was a good fit for the company and it got my back up. I told them that I was a good fit but for me to stay I want to see a commitment to changes, they told me that they had commitments to deliver new features and that we might be able to do it at some point in the future but for now I just needed to crack on.
Ordinarily I would just walk but I’ve recently started the process to adopt kids and changing jobs right now would blow that out the water. At the same time I’m passionate about what I do and having a high standards, I’m not going to be silenced for being critical but maybe I will try and tackle it in a different way. I think my biggest issue is that my boss who was previously a Senior Developer (my current position) has worked at the company for 12 years and it is his only job, so when I’m being critical it’s most likely criticising code he wrote. I find it hard to have the respect of a boss who I had to teach what a unit test was and how to write one. It makes it hard to preach good standards when by all accounts they don’t see the problems.
Just wondering if anyone has suggestions or experience that might help me tackle this situation?11
When you boss marks everything critical and you respond with "when everything's critical, nothing's critical." And he scowls.1
Boss came to me earlier
Boss: There's a critical issue with this release version for this project. Make sure it doesn't get deployed to our test/live environments!
Me: Err, that release went live 3 months ago...
Time critical project. Work my ass off for weeks to meet the deadline. Finish 7 days ahead of schedule, enough time to get approval from management (needed!).
Management: "We will have a look at it."
Multiple pings, requests etc. later...
Day of the deadline: No response.
Deadline passed: No response.
Guess it wasn't that time critical... Well fuck me, right?4
flailing startup layed off my entire team without warning...
...and no one asked us how our custom tools work or how we performed our business-critical tasks. #goodLuck10
US House Intelligence Committee: we can't trust equipment made by Huawei and ZTE since they may collaborate with the Chinese government
A black hat hacker: If you pay me a hundred bucks a month, you can use my infrastructure to monitor all communications and web traffic from any specific handset registered to a US Telecom. They discovered the breach nearly a year ago and haven't cut my access or sought to patch any of the vulnerabilities I utilized
US House Intelligence Committee: The only way to ensure the operational security of our government and safety of our citizens is to continue relying on American hardware and critical communications infrastructure and also let the FCC further deregulate it5
When your PM calls you on Sunday to quickly solve a critical bug,
But you were busy happily working on your own personal project
MY SERVER JUST DECIDED TO RESTART TO DO WINDOWS UPDATES!!!
Yesterday evening I stayed up late to install some critical updates manually as I obviously have auto updates disabled.
I didn't quite get everything done so I wanted to continue the next evening when noone was using the server.
Apparently that removed the rule to never ever restart automatically...
I have my damn router and app server running in a VM on there!!!6
There's only a fine line between a critical issue and a dramatic client.
And by fine, I mean (the size of yo momma + the distance between earth and mars) / the teeny weeny fraction of the fucks that I give.3
I spent the last 3 months trying to hire new developers for my team. I found someone experienced who is great and a graduate, who is, well, a graduate.
For some reason he thinks he knows everything about our framework he has never used and seems to think he knows how everything works in our codebase which he has never seen.
That’s fine. I’ve had my share of cocky developers.
But what confuses me is that when I ask him what critical bugs are left, he reels off two significant ones. I ask what it will take to fix it. Of course he says he knows how to fix it. So I say great. Then fix it and let’s move on to a more fun part of our project.
Suddenly he didn’t know where he problem was and so I told him he had to investigate and come back with something concrete.
It’s just frustrating managing this developer who is deceitful.10
Do you know what kind of shit fucks become HR?
Those who use hashtags in comments for most ridiculous words.
'Hey! I was wondering who all are glad... Only if more people use #Glad, it would be easier for me to figure out this critical information'8
So recently I have been working on an open-source project where all the mains devs are too busy to give a stream of patches and new features. I offered to do this job, but as soon as there was an 'official' patch all my changes would be wiped, I was ok with that, I have my own fork of the project so I could just implement it there. What I didn't ask for was my work 'buddy'. Instead of following what the client said (only patch critical bugs) they went on the project forum and got all these great ideas for new features which he gave tocme to implement. He had absolutely no idea about how to program and expected me to do all of it. To top it all off he messed with my code when it 'didn't work' didn't test it, then put it in to production. Even unfinished features with bugs galore were put into producton withot even contacting me and I was left to take the shit! Thank god today is the last patch I have to do.1
I swear, if I ever were to develop a support ticket system, I'd require credit card credentials for P1 tickets - "for covering potential costs to get the developer to the computer at this point in time". Let's see how many of your fucking tickets are Business critical after all!6
When I was a young boy and I was writing my first programs, I remember I was sad because they were fast, unlike other applications I used daily and admired, with their long splash screens and the hard drive constantly making noise whenever you performed an action. At that time for me, 'slow' meant 'serious'.
It's fun to see how things have changed today: ensuring performance is a critical part of my job, and DAMMIT WHY HASN'T THE WEB PAGE LOADED YET?!?2
Fuck my manager. >_<
I'm a fresher at a medium-sized company. Our team is relatively new and we don't have a dedicated support team for the product the team developed (before I joined the company).
So when I was allocated to the team, I was put into support, citing it as a good learning experience (and it was). But it's been a few months. And the support work got boring and uninteresting, looking at logs which don't say anything, dumps which are completely normal and most of all, dealing with unresponsive OSEs, when they claim the issue is super critical and really tricky.
Anyway, there was this tool (among other things) that had to be developed as a support tool for our product and I ended up being paired with a guy who ended up being in charge of it. We started working on it slowly, designing and implementing a framework for the tool.
This goes without saying, I love development.
4 days later, my manager says "why are you developing it? Who's gonna look at support issues?"
Fucking hell. I was hired to be a developer and you got me just decide to up and shove me into support for the next 3-6 months while others are at least enhancing our shitty ass product? And I can't even quit for another year and a half because I signed a bond!
Oh, the depression.11
If you're going to request CRITICAL changes to thousands of records in the database, and approve it through testing which is done on an exact replica of production, then tell me it was done incorrectly after the fact it has been implemented and you didn't actually review the changes made to the data or business logic that you requested then you are an idiot. Our staging environment is there to ensure all the changes are accurate you useless human. Its the data you provided, I didn't just magically pull it from thin air to make yours and my job a pain the ass.9
Today at work:
- Oh a new critical update for windows
*installing the update and restart*
System crashed and i have to reinstall windows -.-
Now i know why they call it „critical“ update for windows ;)1
I fucking swear the servers in the data center know when the fuck I'm going on vacation.
YOU CHOOSE TO DIE NOW YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?
It's okay. It is no longer a critical box, but gah dammit.2
I've always been critical of python as a development language because of it's efficiency issues and the fact that it's essentially pseudocode. However, today I had to reflect 200 coordinated over the line x=355 for a course lab and I hella didn't feel like doing it in my normal languages. Wrote it using python in less than 2 minutes. It might be a bad language for efficiency, but it's one hell of a scripting language. Sorry, python. I never fully appreciated you until now.16
Best part of being a dev? Rock star status when things are going well: had to get a fix out by 18:00, boss walks by as I'm watching something on YouTube and tells me the client called and wanted to be sure we'd have it done in time, told him not to worry and went back to my video. Pushed the fix at 17:30, and tomorrow I'll be in the same position: every last minute fix delivery only grows my reputation for getting critical last-minute fixes out in time... As skeptical as my boss was at the time when he walked past and saw me on YouTube he had to he polite because he knows how crucial I am to this project
I think tomorrow I'm going to work on my own project and slack off, no one will be able to tell me different2
I’m a team lead in the tech team, myself and another team lead manage the on call processes for the department, so when stuff breaks we need to fix it. I assume there is sufficient documentation available for me to fix a process that is not mine.
one of the other managers processes breaks. He’s on annual leave and is away for another week. I attempt to fix the process. No documentation. What do i do?
I go to my manager the next day and tell her the process is broken and I can’t fix it because there’s no documentation and I don’t know what the full impacts are. She agreed we should leave it until he comes back from AL.
He comes back a week later. I tell him the process is broken and it’s been failing since he went on AL.
Him: we had a handover before I went on holiday
Me: no, you showed me where the ‘documentation’ was. Said documentation is not defined enough and is out of date. I didn’t want to break it further by trying to repair it when it’s not completely critical
Him: but it is critical, it has to run every day
Me: so why doesn’t it say that in the documentation?
Me: can you fix it please
Him: no, I’ve got too much to do having just come back from holiday
Me: more critical that a process that has to run EVERY DAY and has been failing for the past 10 DAYS??
Him: I’ll see if I have time
2 hours later...
Him: Lets put in some time for handover so you can understand the process. Is an hour long enough?
Me: I don’t know, you tell me, it’s your process, you know what’s involved and how long it should take to explain
Him: well is an hour long enough?
Me: I don’t know, it takes however long it takes you to explain it
Him: I’m asking you
At this point I’m getting more and more angry, how can you not know how long your process is gonna take to explain when you’re the one that wrote it?! I fully well know that it’s gonna take longer than an hour because it’s an SSIS package that looks like a plate of spaghetti, you spend 15 minutes working out what box flows to where before even looking at any SQL, and he’s still asking me how long it’s gonna take and distracting me from my ACTUAL critical work
Man is a waste of space, so quick to give you work that isn’t his but never takes responsibility for his own... honestly have no clue whatsoever how he became a manager....
This rant doesn’t seem like much reading it back but I swear it’s the last in a looooonnngggg like of his fuck ups that other people have had to deal with 🙄🙄3
A project I'm working on uses Elastic for internal monitoring and logs. The customer asked to access those logs - not something we'd normally do, but it's isolated from other things we use and there's no critical data there, so what the heck, let them have it.
Ever since, we're getting tons of questions like "There are tons of [insert random info message] all the time, do you have any plans to resolve them?" and it gets to the point where I'm just about ready to scream back "NO, SUZAN, BOOKING NOT COMPLETED MANS THE USER F###ING CANCELLED IT, IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN FIX IN THE CODE"
Edit: the customer's name isn't actually Suzan5
"a 5% feature (used by less than 5% of all users) is a distraction for all the other users, and is better removed, unless it’s really critical (a small number of users do need to cancel service, for example)." - Neil Hunt8
Boss: Did you get that trivial change I requested completed?
Me: No, I've been busy trying to fix a critical issue with a production app.
Boss: I don't want other people dictating how you spend your time.
Let it all burn down, then, I guess!
I fucking hate stupid accountants!
Yesterday we went to a customer to talk to the accountants because we want to remove one of their unused PC's in the office.
First, just the way they think (and talk if) they are the most important and it's absolutely critical everything works 100%. I see they are important but not 100 times more important than everybody else!
They called us their EDP-guys (EDV in German, that's the translation I found). That insulted me a bit. I'm rather called IT-guy, I don't know anything about the fucking EDP systems nor want I to. I'm there to make sure the hardware works. But whatever, fine, call me what you want.
Then they straight up threatened us, because their work is so important, they can't afford to have downtime in their systems. They don't really care, but the bosses of us both do and if we fuck up they (the bosses) will hold us responsible. There is a fucking update for your piece of shit software (datev)! I don't do the update, I'm just responsible that the update can be deployed on the hardware. I'm not responsible if this update fucks your system and frankly I don't care!
I could tell them all of this but they won't listen. They always talk in this patronising arrogant voice, because they are so important and we better don't fuck up the update.
I'm there to help. I don't want downtime for your systems. I want you to work with our systems the best you can.
But fuck you, I hope the server burns down!13
"Don't worry with that problem today, it's not critical"
And this is said in less than a week of deadline
It's 17:55... Did much work that day since I came in earlier than usual, so I could leave in time and do some shopping with the girlfriend.
A colleague comes in to my room, a tad distressed. He had accidentally ran a fixture script on a production environment database (processing a shipload of records per minute), truncating all tables...
Using AWS RDS to rollback the transaction log takes up about 20m. I had to do that about 5 times to estimate the date and time of when the fixture script ran... Since there was no clear point in time...
Finally I get to the best state of the data I could get. I log in remotely run some queries. All is well again... With minor losses in data.
I try to download a dump using pg_dump and apparently my version is mismatched with the server. I add the latest version to aptitudes source list of postgres repo and I am ready to remove and purge the current postgres client and extensions...
sudo apt-get remove post*
Are you sure? (Y/n) *presses enter and enters into a world of pain*
Apparently a lot of system critical applications start with post... T_T4
pms always tell the higher ups that I"don't have passion". I don't know how to show passion for their photoshop mock ups, one line requirements with no definition of done, their talking for hours about "leveraging" and name dropping about the top brass they are schmoozing with. I just ask if we are going to show our MVP to real users and she morphs to the bride of chuckie. I say we ought to pair program and she says it cost double to make a feature. Testing and code reviews are taking too much time but they hover over your shoulder while you try to fix a "mission critical bug" that occurs because they wanted us to skip practices that could have prevented the bug. Woo I feel better now!3
Pretty fucking sure it’s Monday... Critical Server KO’ed during hours... Going to be a long day....
Sucks not having the funds to implement preventative maintenance and redundancy... Thank god for fucking backups.
To the Level C’s in our company.... take this as a wake up call you incompetent, undereducated, no dick-having-ass’, spitfucks!4
Anyone want to build me a smart robot capable of determining what to keep and what to donate (or recycle) so I can stop packing and injuring myself? Would have to me capable of critical thinking and tetrising the shit out of stuff and boxes...
I'm only partially joking... would buy a packing robot pretty damn quickly5
My dickhead manager strikes again...
TL;DR: He is still a cocksucker who is dogmatically arrogant.
So for the upcoming release I have been assigned the most important and critical module of our huge product based on my performance.
The business analyst team as usual fucked up and delayed like more than 3 months then their expected timeline.
Ohoo!! Pressures on us baby.
Engineering team managed to build the module in a very short time under a lot of pressure but with more people and working over time.
Now I have to test the software. And this time the combinations to perform for different scenarios are in zillions.
I have three weeks to complete entire task with a junior assigned to me who knows nothing. Not only I have to complete my task and deal with junior's queries but also groom and train the person for upcoming tasks.
My manager is a cunt who never helps others but blames people for not helping him.
So I talk him about work overload and seek an extra person to help me out.
Dogmatic asshole doesn't listen and has an excuse/reason for every valid argument I have.
Finally I gave up and decided to go with his approach and when things start falling out of place I will talk to higher management that I followed his approach because he didn't listen to me.
Some people just want to watch the world burn.7
Fuuuuck this corporate bullshit. I'm basically sitting around twiddling my thumbs waiting for some jackass to grant me access to the server that my boss moved my code over to. Why the hell did you put my app on a production server that runs every 30 minutes...THAT I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO?? Now there's a critical bug and a $50K order in limbo because I can't push any fixes. Fuck me. The worst part will be in the next hour or so when dozens of people are calling, emailing, and attacking my cubicle like rabid animals about why orders aren't moving and I'll have to explain that production is a train wreck because reasons. Just end me.2
I try and try and try to teach my coworker critical thinking skills, proper programming techniques, and standard git etiquette. Then I add 4 booleans to solve one problem, use strings instead of ints to find unique SQL Server entities, and push right to the development branch.
I am a real asshole, but at least I am not fake.5
BOSS and Client IT’S URGENT IT’S CRITICAL
ME: IT’S 4:30pm on FRIDAY AND THIS IS THE FIRST I’VE HEARD OF IT IT IS NOT THAT HOT2
We had a course where we, the students, got connected with companies who could pitch ideas for us to choose. So we were to develop something for a company for free, but that probably won't be so bad, right? When the course was over we told the company we would fix any critical bugs that appeared after the final prototype was developed. We only had 8 weeks to complete the project, and that includes documentation (project plan etc) and other "school stuff" like an essay on what we've learned and so on. In other words, didn't have enough time to develop what the company was really looking for. Still those guys is bugging us about minor bugs they want fixed or "could you just implement this feature" . The course is over, they have all the source code so they could hire someone else to do it (or us, you could pay us you know?) but nooooo they think we owe it to them. We gave them a fully functional application to use, free of charge, but that still isn't enough. And they threaten with "but you can use this in a future resume" (yea we had to sign a NDA). Fuck it, am I being a whiny bitch?4
Siemens Step7 code block protection (PLC's).. It was designed to lock code that you don't want others to be able to read. All blocks are in a dbf file, so you just need to find the block record and uncomment one line, voila - source code available.
Given the massive use of Siemens PLC's on plants all over the world, and the simplicity of hacking via S7 protocol, usually Internet connected, it's a breeze to steal or modify the controllers code with possible critical implications.
Never buy crappy, consumer-grade SSDs for use in production servers/RAIDs. This might sound obvious but at the company I used to work for, through a series of bad decisions by management and cheapness, we ended up with the cheapest consumer SSDs you can imagine powering all of our storage.
This turned into a nightmare spanning years of failed hard drives and a continues cycle of ridiculousness. Drive failed after a few days, gets taken out, sent back to manufacturer and then replaced with another equally crappy drive destined to fail within days/weeks.
Our ops people were going to the data center multiple times per week to replace failed drives. Lesson I learned: cheaping out on system-critical hardware and software can have long standing consequences and in the end usually doesn't end up actually saving money when you account for time employees have to spend dealing with issues that result from it.
Testers be like "button is slightly too blue and four pixels too far to the right"
As usual a rather clickbait title, because only the chrome extensions (as always) seem to be vulnerable:
"Warning – 3 Popular VPN Services Are Leaking Your IP Address"
"Researchers found critical vulnerabilities in three popular VPN services that could leak users' real IP addresses and other sensitive data."
"VPN Mentor revealed that three popular VPN service providers—HotSpot Shield, PureVPN, and Zenmate"
"PureVPN is the same company who lied to have a 'no log' policy, but a few months ago helped the FBI with logs that lead to the arrest of a Massachusetts man in a cyberstalking case."
"Hijack all traffic (CVE-2018-7879) "
"DNS leak (CVE-2018-7878)"
"Real IP Address leak (CVE-2018-7880)"9
The most recent that comes to my mind is from one of my previous projects. Our team is already overloaded and frustrated working for this garbage client. One fine day, out of the blue, the client once again revises the list of go-live critical development objects.
Our project manager takes this issue up with the client, and then with our management when the client does not listen.
The response he gets from our management is along the lines of, "But it's just forty development objects. Why are you complaining? Just get it done."
Needless to say, the motivation levels of the entire team went on a downward spiral soon after.1
Last Sunday, we deployed 300 major application/service configuration changes, 60+ load balancer changes, DNS cutovers, changes to mission critical SQL servers, and informatica connection changes. This impacted every line of business, all customer facing apps, and all internal apps.
6 days from DEV to PROD, which includes all developer effort.
Need some advice -
I have over one month spare time before joining the company. I have always wanted to learn an instrument but I'm also 'thinking' of joining a gym but I don't have any fantasies for big biceps and I am a big time foodie.
I have read that learning new instruments would help you in critical and out of the box thinking which is a definite plus while programming. While joining a gym would be a good way to keep myself fit in this hectic world of programming.
I'm torn in choosing between these two options. Which one should I join as a developer? What would my fellow devs suggest? 🤔22
that fucking fellow dev who knows nothing about what he's doing yet makes it look like he's doing something critical -_-
On Tuesday my client states she will get me one more piece of info I need to launch the site.
On Wednesday, nothing.
On Thursday, nothing.
On Friday she berates me that the site is overdue and demands it be launched before Saturday so she can send the announcement email.
I remind her that I was waiting for the information.
She responds, testily, that the info wasn't mission critical after all and to just insert something as a placeholder. Oh, and that there had been a religious holiday and so nobody would have been available to respond to the information request anyways. Like I'm just supposed to know all that without anyone telling me.
I'm now trying to get the attention of our overseas developer, who is the only person who can pull this off, but he's likely clocked out for the weekend.
I'm so mad right now I'm about ready to burn the whole site to the ground, cut my losses, and just walk away. But that would damage my reputation.3
We love to freak out about critical infrastructure that's still running MS DOS in 2018, but tbh the scarier thing is that trying to upgrade all of it might be just as catastrophic as any exploits. Lots of this shit is so old that you'd have to rewrite any programs from scratch since they weren't even intended for modern x64 systems and the original documentation got lost in a rolodex from a dude who's probably dead. While we're totally unequipped to handle an advanced attack on our air traffic control systems or telecoms grid, it's a guarantee that any attempt to update the hardware SWIFT uses would cause a financial crisis.
Looks like it's time to update the old CV... Christ have I really been here for 8 years.
It's been fun, the most fun time of my life but with new owners breathing on everything stuffs starting to fall to shit.
To use a SysOps analogy there are category 1 - critical warnings ringing in my ears.
I can accept a lot, but I'm genuinely concerned for the future of this place, and after trying to fix things for long enough to realise the new owners are the ones drilling the holes in the ship it's time to sink or swim, and I don't feel like sinking.
To quote billy Joel,
It seems such a waste of time
If that's what it's all about
Mama if that's movin' up
Then I'm movin' out1
WordPress uses 25+ MySQL connections per person. MySQL limit is set to 100. 4 people can bring down a critical component of the company. Only fix is to write custom MySQL connector using PDO and persistence connections. Added a Resistor cache just for good measure.8
A few people on here enjoyed solving my previous puzzle, so I made a new one!
DLSS KVUL, FVB'CL ZVSCLK AOPZ WBGGSL.
Rome was build on [...] hills and had [...] kings. [...] played a critical role in the events that led to the demise of the Roman Republic and the rise of the Roman Empire.
Good luck! Post your answer in the comments.5
Come back from a week's vacation, 3 apps in review. Sit down, set up Xcode, pull latest changes. Run code for the first time, tap through two screens, find a critical bug and I have to reject all 3 apps and resubmit.
5 business days away and I found an obvious bug in 5 minutes.
Someone's not doing their job...
I had the ”pleasure” of being a manager for former SYSDB Administrator in his mid 50’s. He had been moved to a new team and role, managing critical incidents which was the team I was hired to managed. One day I ask him to send a mail with some logs to one of our vendors. Later the same day he informs that the email address I had provided was not working. It was a fairly easy address (something like email@example.com), but once again he informed that the email address was invalid. I went to his station to ensure that he typed in the right alias. Just to make sure, I spelled it out for him “A-L-I-A-S”, so far so good, “@”, still good, “A-C-C-E-N-T-U-R-E”, almost there, “DOT C-O-M”. He now tabbed to a text document he had open, and found a line that contained a DOT (.), but not only did it contain the DOT, but also a space before and after the DOT, so he copied (space)(DOT)(space) and pasted it into the email address so it became alias@accenture . com. I pointed out the issue and asked him why he did not use the DOT key on the keyboard. He told me that he did not know which one it was and he had always done it like this. I was in chock.
2 months later I had to let him go because our customer complained so much over his general skills that they would no longer interact with him.5
I used to work at a startup company that was so mismanaged that they lost track of when the Visual Studio licenses expire.
So during a critical week, the Visual Studio instances stopped working, and they have to scramble getting new licenses, which took a while.
In the end, the client lost confidence, pulled the plug on the project. I also lost confidence in the company and bailed out. Less than a year later the company went totally bankrupt.2
Colleagues: I hate when the client wants to make last minute design changes the day we are supposed to launch when they have had MONTHS to bring them up..
Me: we are supposed to launch our site today (our own agency site that we have been working on and reviewing as a group for about a year), so please take some time to go through and make sure there are no GRAMMATICAL errors.
Colleagues: *send huge lists of minor design changes that are CRITICAL*
So fucking tired of priority shifting. How the hell is anyone supposed to get shit done with 500 fucking meetings and between each one you're told do something different?
This is critical you must do it now! No this!
My response, fuck you I'm going home my head hurts let me know what you'd like me to code and when you've decided add a day for annoying me.2
PM: "This is a critical bug fix needed before we submit to Apple."
Me: *reads bug story*
Me: "Wait, this is only repo on a Galaxy S5?"
PM: "Yup! It's stopship."
Me: 😑 "No."
Dev gets told in the morning there's an emergency fix needed due to a critical issue with the app that's in production and that the fix needs to be in the release that will be cut this evening.
Dev drops everything he/she is working on, works frantically all day to get it in 2 minutes before the deadline.
Release gets cut.
Next day release gets trashed because some exec did not like the size of the font used in some obscure part of the app even though it's been this way for 6 months...1
Why does a "senior" developer have a git repo for a critical application that makes our company money, never push to it? I checked it today and it's empty.4
Massive cyber attack hits Europe. Hopefully everyone is patched and secure. Critical infrastructure, banks... impacted.1
All my tasks was development, last week our boss gave me a testing task, and I completed it.
He said that the developers will hate me if I keep reporting every expected/unexpected, small/big, normal/critical bugs , so that he sent me back to the development team.
I just wondering if I misunderstand the word "testing"!!?1
How to write bug free code:
_loop() # all logic here
This will not cause any difficulties ever. Remember to pipe output to /dev/null, make this script a critical but undocumented part of your infrastructure and tell no one about it.
I always love getting yelled at by a client about a feature that they “use everyday” and critical to their business is just not working. Go back and look... it appears that it broke a while ago (in this case a couple months).
It’s my fault, but I do start to question other blanket statements they make.
Don't use your senior software engineer title or years of experience as reasons in a debate or argument about software
My manager was asking me what steps needs to be done to perform a disaster recovery for our cluster( on production). I will be honest here, I have not maintained this type of cluster(kubernetes) in production before. However, I have enough understand of the system to answer my boss question. I basically told him there are A, B, C you have to do.
My senior developer jumped in and said "No you should do A,C, B because C is more critical than B. " I then replied to him: "I understand your point, I notice that too, but .." Before I can even finish my sentence, this dude has already rolled his eyes and interrupted me very loudly: "Have you worked with these systems on production before? I did". The asshole knows I haven't maintained Kubernetes on production yet of course.
I got super pissed at him and pretty much shouted back to him and my manager: "Just because I haven't worked on this system on production yet, does not mean my argument is wrong" .
I then dragged my managers, that asshole, and other engineers in a room and settle this out. In the end, people agreed with my steps over that asshole senior engineer dude because I gave them rational reasons.
The conclusion is: Your senior title is given by the company, It doesn't mean anything to me. Also, it doesn't make you more right than another person just because he has a "lower" title than you.1
TL;DR - (almost) childhood trauma due to Wesrern Digital crap products lead to lot of data loss and a plege to not trust or purchase their products for the rest of my life.
So, I got my first ever Wester Digital 2TB Mybook, back when 2TB was a really big thing. While in the midst of moving (not copying) a LOT of data to it, the damn disk just.. died. There was no fall, no power outage, no damage, it just stopped working. I was out of words and out of options. Tried yanking out the disk and connecting it directly to a system, but no luck because it looks like it's the HDD mobo that died.
Also stupid young me did not realise back then that, even if a "moved" the data, the original data is still most likely in their original location, and so, never bothered a recovery.
Lots of good stuff lost that day.
And as with a lot of you, my disaster recovery system kicked up 10 fold. Now I got redundant local and cloud backup copies of all critical and otherwise unattainable data.
As you may have guessed, I never bought another Wester Digital product ever again. My internal HDDs are Segate, and external is a suprisingly long lived Toshiba Canvio.6
Going to release the biggest feature I have implemented for Product I work on. Change in more than 150 files and it is very very critical.
Wish me luck..3
In the middle of 2 critical bug fixes and your boss 'volunteers' you for a meaningless 4 hour training session.....WTF????
An interesting perspective considering how much of their code could literally mean life or death.
Do you know guys why a programming bug is called so? It's because the very first time a software crashed it was because of a bug ( a real bug stuck in a bus on the machine!) That caused that 😂 imagine if something else was stuck instead! Like someone'sfinger : hey I fixed that finger but still got 2 critical fingers and 4 small ones7
Few months ago I was working on something rhat wasn't mission critical for the current sprint. Near the end of the month I was asked to help the BD team (which usually do the testing) with testing the webapp as well as the mobile versions. First day of me testing ever, found more bugs by myself than the 5 BD people did in the entire week. Really felt like a boss. Next month they asked me to help again. And again. And again.
This is how my desk looks nowdays (the 3 phones are behind the laptop charging)
Exactly when I do NOT need to be doing updates because system stability is critical to meeting deadlines, suddenly...5
PM: Page load times are up. It might be your API blocking requests.
Me: Possible, though most of my load testing was performed against a random sample of requests at nearly 5 times the expected average per minute rate. I can add some logs but I think this is a red herring theory.
PM: Yes add logs, and New Relic and get it released ASAP.
Me: To confirm, you want me to make a bunch of diagnostic changes to a mission-critical API the day before Holiday break...
I felt like that guy from the Apollo 13 team warning Gene Kranz that the LEM was not built for this and I can make no guarantees... Released an hour before we went home for the weekend.
Project Manager logic (the best kind).
PM: Here are a list of the tickets we need to address next.
Architect: Hang on, didn't X raise a number of critical bugs yesterday? They were serious, we need to fix the critical bugs first.
PM: ... but he marked them all as critical
(so that means they aren't an issue? cool, i've been doing this wrong all my life)2
This is the LAST TIME a critical PC component will fail me in the middle of a project. Wtf is up with hardware makers these days? Why can't you make a video card that will last for more than a year, AMD?? FFS!
Desktop for gaming, laptop for code. Now to redo my workstation AGAIN. 😭7
Three days ago my focus was shifted from a development role to a support role. I was shifted to replace another support guy who had used fraud to get the position. I have no experience with this role but there was decent KT and I'm catching on fine. During onboarding and KT I'm serving as the first contact for new tickets and whatnot...
Today I got a ticket with an error on our production instance that no one had ever seen before. It prevented the guy from using our service entirely. I tried to reproduce it and... I couldn't use the service either. No one could. Everything was down. I could see the sweat building on my manager's forehead.
Thankfully another member on my team has done a bit of support before, so we collaborated with each other and other teams throughout the day to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it. I'm listening to them chat remotely as we speak - so far I've been working on it 9 hours straight.
This service is used by everyone - it's a business critical service with due dates on actions and escalations to managers... Imagine if the support ticketing service for your company crashed. That means a lot of people are asking what's wrong, requiring extensions, etc. I've been answering to managers and seniors in the business throughout the day.
The best part? We figured out why the server went down, and the reason is fantastic: someone updated the server's code without telling anyone, and all they had done was remove critical parsing code. Just took it right out, pushed, redeployed. We don't know who did it or who even has access to do that. I guess I have some detective work cut out for me after we've fixed everything that was broken by that.
I miss coding already.1
Wouldn't say our teamwork failed we just sucked that day.
I had a ticket to fix a SQL sp and then correct some data afterwards. As this was the typical "urgent fix need now" we went through a different process for fixing it.
Me: Just sent you some scripts can you check them over before we apply it to uat?
Boss: let's go through it together.
5 mins later
Boss: looks fine I'll apply the scripts.
2 minutes later
Me: did you apply the scripts to uat?
Boss: No I applied them to live.
Me: oh ... oh no.
At this point I realized I was missing a critical where clause so yup my update was applied against all of the data.
Yup he just spotted my error.
Helpdesk phones start ringing
Boss: you pick it up it's your code
Me: hey you applied its your problem now.
One db restore and several incident meetings later we fixed it. Twas a fun day.1
Our Excel file of critical bugs to fix before live went from 18 to 11 today. I was super happy... then I asked my colleague how he was getting on with his "Points from the designer" task.
It's another document which had 25 new points added to it this afternoon.
One month ago I started rewriting some old spaghetti application (not even legacy because it’s not that old) from scratch.
Must admit that I kind of regret that decision. I just could take my time to learn that damn yii2 (that I really don’t like) and refactor all shit there, optimize queries and I would have been finished it by now already.
I am rewriting it in symfony, have everything designed quite well it just time consuming to implement, need to finish it till February and I am drained as fuck.
Even worse part is that I will be switching job soon, and my current company are looking for new developer to change me and of course they interviewing only juniors, who will have no one to guide them and ensure that code they write is good. So it seems quite pointless rewriting it, because after leaving someone will fuckup that codebase anyway.
But yeah, I guess that’s something you only learn in practice, so reminder for my future self (and tip for others): don’t rewrite it - refactor it instead and don’t allow your feelings interfere with your critical decisions.2
"what's the update?" - Team Lead
For every fucking idiotic task given, every 3 hours, as if the world is gonna end, while all you did in that time was have a tea, chat for a while, send a few mails, sat with a few co workers and checked up on them.
And then he gives me all these "tricky issues", which are apparently critical, and demands updates with a higher frequency! Never sat with me to solve even one of them. Not one.
I never thought that I lacked the basic common sense to update you as soon as I fucking have one.
Ooh, also loop in the senior manager right before annual appraisal. There goes my hike!3
Ran the build today 4:30 and found out our grunt file is missing some pretty critical error checks without even logging a warning. A dependency was unavailable and it was pushed to production. The site was down for 30+ minutes.1
dev vs QA rant (n + 1)
So our QA is done by China team so naturally time difference is quite irritating,
I cannot change code
I cannot debug for issue
So today I fix a critical issue and before pushing it my seniors send the to the QA
> QA unavailable
> I wait for QA because nobody notifies if the code is tested and I can work ahead
> I get review that my issue fix generated another issue (page gets redirected)
> I'm angry and astonished, I check on same link, same circumstances and no such issue is found
> My seniors say read the issue properly and I do it, no positive response when I contradict the QA
> QA leaves for home on Friday and critical issue still remains in live
I cannot believe the laziness of QA, I mean it's their loss at the end of the day.
> top of that I waited 2 hours for QA to check the issue4
Randomly reviewing a coworker's c++ codebase revealed he was locking at the beginning of a critical section, but explicitly calling unlock for each and every error-handling branching within it. And yes, he forgot to unlock at several places.
That's just not RAIIght.
When you find that one critical piece of documentation that you need causally mentioned in a github comment somewhere. They'll never know how happy they made me :D
Hello devs, I need help from database devs.
The company where I'm interning is a non IT company, so they planned to migrate to a SQL Database from their older MS Access Database.
Since I'm the only IT intern, I'm up against the major devs and hot shots from where my company outsources IT solutions.
They suggested SQL Express.
I have a meeting tomorrow with them, please help me so that I can get better results for my company.
Basically I have to question them about how their decision works better for our firm and why didn't we go for MySQL Enterprise Edition or anything which is much better and cheaper and such critical questions.
Please help me.
The Database would be used to store information about the products manufactured and their parts' history so that in future if there's a problem with the product, it can be looked up in the database so that there can be further replacement or repair processes.10
New in my job
Start to work on a abandoned project for one of our client not very happy cause the lack of update
Go for a critical issue which exists since 2 months where everyone was telling me that they passed a huge time working on it with no answer
The code is so fucking much not DRY so I was able to see the same 4-5 incriminated lines elsewhere
*see that the request is lacking of one parameters just has the error suggests*
*copy paste the missing line*
I’m now a hero for them but they become fucking peasants for me
(In addition, when code reviewing, some one had the nerve to tell me that “haha it was nothing much finally, it was easy”
To him : fuck you, eat my 💩)
Before I went to college, I knew a computer science degree was kind of useless. With enough experience and self-taught skills, you can do way better than someone with a degree.
I went to college anyway because that was required to get in the door for some places, and without forced structure I get easily bored and don't do too well with tutorials.
While in school, I got an internship for the company I'm at today, and I learned more my first summer there than I did 3 years of school before.
And after gaining that experience and being bored and not challenged in school, a degree seemed even more pointless.
Then, in the final courses (the hard ones [allegedly]), a degree seemed even more unimportant. To the point where I almost regret school altogether. So many of the people in those classes failed at understanding the most basic concepts. So many of them had no capability for critical thinking. And yet they still graduate. So many of them should have been filtered out in the earlier classes, but due to easy grading and the school not wanting people to flunk, they still got a degree. The same degree as I have. It makes it meaningless. All those loans I have to repay, to be considered at the same level as them. It's insulting.
I'm luckily at a place that values my talents and ensures I keep my skills up and challenges me. It's still disheartening to think about what came out of my education.8
It took literally days to get our software installed onto the client VMs and get the services started correctly.
On our own test VMs the same task takes all of about an hour or so. Mind you these VMs are supposed to be created and match the client's environment almost too the T. Same configurations, same third party software, same environment variables and the whole 9 yards.
This was not the case at all.
Environment variables were not set, third party software was not installed, and I honestly don't remember the list of things wrong with how they setup the VM. Sparing the details, the errors were also not helpful.
They also gave us critical information we needed for development days before we were going on site to test. The amount of hackery we had to do could be a completely separate rant on its own.
While desperately trying to to stay sane long enough to get our services started, the only thing I could think was how great it would be if there was a fire or something. Anything, just to have an excuse to go back to the hotel and actually sleep. The second day there we finally had everything installed and running.
I shit you not, just as we began our first test, the fire alarms went off.
At this point in time the team was extremely (pissed tf off) annoyed to put it mildly. Assuming it was just a drill, we left our stuff and went to eat dinner. After we came back we found out it in fact was not a drill...
Moral of the story:
Don't wish bad fortune on a customer even if out of impulsive spite.
Other moral of the story:
Don't leave your belongings behind only because you think the fire alarms are just a fire drill. It may not be.
P.S. Karma's a bitch.1
I love working on legacy products. You just need a good shower and possibly a therapist after.
- Sensitive data sent over the internet encrypted with DES (not even 3DES). Guess it doesn't matter that the key (singular, for the last decade) is basically 0123456789ABCDEF.
- Client databases with open default port, admin/admin superuser.
- Critical applications (potential for substantial property damage, maybe loss of life) with a single point of failure and without backup.
Suggestions, to slow down a bit with sales, so we have time to rewrite this steaming pile of crap are met with the excuse: be more pragmatist, this is standard industry practice.
Some of this shit can be fixed on my own time if my conscience nags too much, but others would require significant investment of time from multiple developers, which would slow down new business.
Guess the pay is ok, so that's something...
So i moved house a while ago and noted down the root admin's username and password along with all the critical directories including root db location and slapped the sticker onto my personal cloud.
I Just haven't gotten around to set it back up again.
So there's that...4
So easy to DOS a whole software company.
Someone (accidentally) started a script or similar, generating so many requests on StackOverflow that our IP got banned.
In the company chat people already joking how they cannot work. This is "critical infrastructure" in 2018: faulty IP in our network is taken offline. Let's see if we can access SO again today.2
Me: Alright, new week, back from vacation fully rested and focused, lets get productive.
Apple(safari 10.3 update): Fuck you.
Basically the change log was:
*fixed critical security bug.
*added more bugs to fix later.
Well fuck you too safari... You disgust me.
The least the fucking imbeciles, or monkeys, behind safari can do is add a fucking css prefix. For fucks sake.
My team and I are working on a huge project that's been in development for years.
First deadline was in the fall last year. We were never going to make that.
Then we were supposed to be ready just after the summer holidays (months ago). We didn't make that either.
Then we were supposed to launch last week. Didn't happen, still too many critical errors and unfinished, untested features.
Now we are having daily meetings to discuss whether we'll be ready to release... that day!
Meanwhile, stability issues and other critical errors keep popping up. The product is barely finished and has not been through rigorous testing with all the latest features and bug fixes. Not to mention that we don't really have a deployment pipeline either.
And here's the kicker: The customers don't know this is coming. It's highly anticipated, but only internally. It is a replacement for an existing product, which strives towards not changing the frontend too much.
Why do we rush it so? I get that a deadline can help motivate you to reach your goal, but how motivated will we be if the launch fails and we get buried in bugs and missing features?
Would it not be better to launch it with at least the confidence of knowing that we've tried to test it properly?9
Show stopper issue raised,
10 minutes to home time,
Critical service goes down,
Current facial expression2
Someone : this is not critical, if you have more important task or deadlines, prioritize it first.
Me : doing my more important task/deadlines
Someone, chatting me every hour : Is it ready? I need to submit it ASAP!!!!
What a pain in the ass!!!!
CoWorker: so when are you going to be out?
Me: taking 1 week off Oct 1. I need a break from production issues and all these critical tasks...
CW: ah OK yea, you deserve it. So where you going?
Me: well I'm planning to just stay home unless the weather is really nice. I'm going to try React Native to build a mobile app and maybe look for some open source projects... O yes gotta look into my investments too...
CW: Oohhhh... Ok.... (We go on talking about Trump and why somehow the markets haven't crashed yet...)2
Manager signed up an affiliate last night to our affiliate tracking software around 11pm. I get an email at 10am asking why I don't have them added to our internal database yet.
"because I was sleeping n shit"
I also explained to him it's not mission critical because it takes 3-5 days before an affiliate will start sending traffic anyways.
You know what really gets me?
Not being able to do any work because my coworker hasn't pushed any changes yet which are critical to my work. Yes I could just focus on something else instead, if there wasn't a deadline that's due friday and there's still a lot of work to be done.
I mean, how difficult is it to just commit and push your code at the end of the day?1
So, I'm looking into something and end up on Stack Overflow. Someone posted the question:
This question was old as shit, all they way from 07/25/09, and about an Adobe Air application. (Remember that? Me neither...) It had a great, accepted, and still accurate answer, posted the same day the question was asked. Now, fast forward 8 years and on 12/08/17 (A mere 7 months ago...) the following answer was posted. I don't know what they were thinking, but here it is, complete and unabridged, with my comments in square brackets:
"I'd like to post this as a separate answer as it somewhat contrasts the accepted one: [Somewhat contrasts? More like completely contradicts...]
Yes, it does make a performance difference as it reduces parsing time - and that's often the critical thing. For me, it was even just simply linear in the size and I could get it from 12s to 4s parse time by minifying from 3MB to 1MB. [First off, your parse time should NEVER be THE critical thing, but secondly, and more importantly, WHO THE FUCK HAS 1MB OF MINIFIED JS ON A PAGE!!!]
It's not a big app either, it just has a couple of reasonable dependencies. [THERE IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING REASONABLE ABOUT ANYTHING HE JUST SAID! What dependancies is he using?! You could use minified and not even gzipped jQuery, AngularJS, Vue, Ember, React, AND Dojo libraries on the SAME PAGE, AND have 118k of application code, AND STILL NOT HAVE HIT 1MB QUITE YET!!!]
So, yeah, I'm at a loss for what this guy was thinking, but the thought the people like this exist, and that my browser might one day be subjected to their horrific nightmare of code terrifies me...2
So I ended up going with antergos and xfce DE on a cheapo 4gb ram i5 laptop.
It works, sometimes it hangs because of ram, but the thing that is infurating me the most is javaFX with animation loop (school course) whenever I run it, it works for a minute then oh good fucking Lord what happened to you!!!
It hangs, mouse doesn't work, and it takes like 10 minutes for it to respond back and somehow forcefully close the application, running that with task manager asude, I don't see anything critical, unless I'm reading this wrong
CPU averages around 10% and sometimes spikes to 70% few times
Ram is around 50%, swap is 50% too
What could the issue be in this case? I'm sure running the whole thing on windows this wouldn't have happened, what am I missing here?4
Having a manager and client and boss who know no programming is frustrating because when they post issues on the repo as bugs and critical but its neither of those, the terms lose all meaning because whats really happening is
THEYRE REALLY BAD AT USING COMPUTERS.1
'we have a critical bug'
'Look, it's out of my hands, we would fix it but we do Agile, it needs to wait for grooming, planning, and then get in to the next sprint'
'how long will that take?'
'not long, 2 week maybe, 4 at most'
Asus critical update! Fucking handwriting recognition... So they're now employing the same tactics as criminals trying to get you to install a virus.
"Whoa, critical? I'd better stop whatever I'm doing and update, I sure am grateful that they tabbed me out of whatever unimportant crap I was doing before and shoved this popup in my face!"
-no one, ever
That shit is about as critical as birth control to a nun. Kindly fuck off with your pop ups and go work on something actually critical like my battery not exploding 6 months after buying it.
I had a coworker that NEVER restarted his computer or installed updates of any kind. Any time he showed me some code I got distracted by the "new updates are available" popup that was always there in his IDE.
I can't even imagine the backlog of critical security updates that were waiting to be installed when we left after 3 years.3
Time to switch to offline and hide in some dark corner to get work done. Tired of all the IM’s and coming over to my desk from 1 person for “critical” work. If they’re all critical then none of them are truly critical. If you sit on the data for 2 months, and then today is the day it becomes critical and the compliance issue is because of your ineptitude then its a you problem not an IT problem. Then on top of that you submit your data to be loaded in the incorrect request form and spreadsheet format you can go fuck yourself asking this be done in an hour. It could be done in 15 minutes if you had it in the correct format as specified in the 20 meetings over the past year which removed all manual analysis and automated the entire process you idiot. Now I have to get it into the correct format in that hour so I don’t have to do the analysis for you.
I have other things to do besides your etl tickets, like finding the actual problems in our actual critical applications. You know the ones where the VP’s of this giant corporation start calling if they go down.
Sorry for the rambling guys.
People get so defensive about their code! Especially, code that becomes redundant. Suddenly, they get all activist type, as if their puppy is being put to death, and come up with the most convoluted of reasons why it is very critical code.2
With a recent HAProxy update on our reverse proxy VM I decided to enable http/2, disable TLS 1.0 and drop support for non forward-secrecy ciphers.
Tested our sites in Chrome and Firefox, all was well, went to bed.
Next morning a medium-critical havock went loose. Our ERP system couldn't create tickets in our ticket system anymore, the ticket systems Outlook AddIn refused to connect, the mobile app we use to access our anti-spam appliance wouldn't connect although our internal blackboard app still connected over the same load balancer without any issues.
So i declared a 10min maintenance window and disabled HTTP/2, thinking that this was the culprit.
Nope. No dice.
Okay, i thought, enable TLS 1.0 again.
Suddenly the ticket system related stuff starts to work again.
So since both the ERP system and the AddIn run on .NET i dug through the .NET documentation and found out that for some fucking reason even in the newest .NET framework version (4.7.2) you have to explicitly enable TLS 1.1 and 1.2 or else you just get a 'socket reset' error. Why the fuck?!
Okay, now that i had the ticket system out of the way i enabled HTTP/2 and verified that everything still works.
It did, nice.
The anti-spam appliance app still did not work however, so i enabled one non-pfs cipher in the OpenSSL config and tested the app.
Behold, it worked.
I'm currently creating a ticket with them asking politely why the fuck their app has pfs-ciphers disabled.
And I thought disabling DEPRECEATED tech wouldn't be an issue... Wrong...
Is it good or bad that I forgot to push an critical buggfix to production just before I went home?
Hopefully I can update from home (think one of our servers has an backup of the ssh keys)4
Just happened today!
So since this morning we've been trying to get our website ready for UAT deployment Monday next week, even though we only were told of it yesterday. Since we had some critical merge conflicts to unscrew on our dev branch for promoting to UAT, we sent a warning to everyone on our hipchat group
Dev team: @all please don't commit anything to the repo for an hour or so while we get the branch good for dev and uat build
Tech lead: ok
That should be enough warning, right? Surely our tech lead, who has been piling up our scope creep trying to please our stakeholders, understands well enough not to do a single goddamn thing on our repo until we sort it out, right?
10 minutes later our tech lead pushes several changes that not only break our builds but also remove all our configuration transformations. I just stormed out of the office to avoid sending her on a one-way ticket to slapsville and fuckyoutown. Geez goddamn louise.
me: yes..hurray I fixed 5 of 25 critical bugs. Its turning out to be a great day.....
...checks the bug list....
"There are 29 critical bugs in the list"1
Either a very tired dev or a really really critical bug fix whose details cannot be revealed
I'll choose the first2
One day every 2 week, we got to spend the Friday just learning and trying stuff. No working on projects unless it's critical.
On these days, I feel like I learn much more than in the rest of the weeks.
Today I built (normally Python developer) a web service using Rust.
Imagine an annual $50k+ enterprise software package that didn't distinguish between a null and an empty string in valuing critical data. Not noticed for years - wtf?3
That feeling when you spend a week evaluating IDE software, providing lots of critical evidence as to a clear winner, and the company refuses to spend any money to improve the tools.1
Windows 10 insider preview had a critical bug like half a year ago where most browsers would freeze the PC. I've reported it multiple times but my feedback didnt get any attention. The bug made it to production months later...
Now, the story is repeating. I've discovered a bug. Everytime there's a software update for apps that with a built-in updater in the main .exe (JetBrains IDEs, VS etc.) the updater fails, program is corrupted and needs to be reinstalled. For instance, there's a minor bump in Android Studio version, if you try to use autoupdater it will corrupt your Android Studio and you'll have to reinstall.
Been trying to reach out to them but the only "real issues" that are highlighted are "no CPU temp in task manager" or "pls improve automatic problem resolving"
Why the fuck do you even have a feedback program if you're ignoring the people who are reaching out to you, you pieces of shit4
"You have changed what??? WHY DID YOU CHANGE THAT WHEN WE TOLD YOU NOT TO CHANGE IT!!! " newbie that changed critical process source on a financial system causing havok....5
I have had to work on a project with a pc104 stack running yocto. I have had this since December last year and the image has always just randomly crashed 🤔. Yesterday I found out why!!
I am able to read the sensor of the cpu temp this has never been over 60/70 degrees C (yes I am English), however after running multiple tests and finally hitting my last wits I made the Kernel output over serial as no msg was shown on crash.
The company we have got the HW from always said this board won't over heat it throttles the cpu blag bla bla... And you guessed it in the mid of nothing but mess was a message "thermal_zone0 critical temp 127 degrees shutting down"
I didn't know if I was happy or about to cry as I didn't know if after working on this project for the last 6months I was back to the drawing boards as I need new HW or my gut at the start of not trusting the Company we are using!
Needless to say I have no idea what Monday will bring, I will keep you all posted as we all do care!
I just got a call from Satya. He informed me that Microsoft has successfully acquired the Linux kernel and all future development will be closed sourced.
Here's a sneak peek of the official announcement:
There will be a newer version released tomorrow that will include the Windows desktop environment as well as patch a critical 0-day security flaw that was recently discovered in all versions of Linux.
To prevent exploitation, we will activate a kill switch which will disable all systems running any flavor of Linux next week.
Thus we advise you upgrade ASAP, existing users can get the latest version online for $500.8
When offshore overwrites your (100% to spec) content and then logs a critical defect because the incorrect content is showing...1
I hate ot when your client has access to new relic and they panic and start creating critical issues when the linux db server is is 80% memory..
After a 2h conference call the client said he was going to contact a 3rd party dba because he didn't believe it was normal.
Why is every one of these marked critical!? Every month or two they have an update that is critical and they are usually just security improvements. Is their security really that bad to always mark as a 'critical' update.
Sooooo our department boss (the CTO) just announced his resignation, handing over his responsibilities to the lapdog of the CEO (who is very fickle on process micromanagement). Seeing as our offshore team was the CTO's idea, we're kinda expecting retrenchment to hit us in a few months once said lapdog starts throwing out our (soon-to-be-former) CTO's initiatives and projects for her own...
Quite frankly, I wish we'd get redundated now instead of later. I'm starting to hate my job (an increase from before, when I simply began to dislike it) because of my team lead's incompetence (she can't even attend a meeting without hijacking it for some other unrelated topic/issue) and lack of transparency (she never shares everything, keeps a lot of critical knowledge to herself). You can smell her lack of trust from miles away.
Anyways, yeah, I'd like to get retrenched/redundated please. I could use the money, honestly.
- Bug-Report -
If you go to the comments section on your profile and click on an comment you made to a collab, devRant will load it as a normal rant instead of a collab and, therefore, nothing is shown.
- Device: Phone
- Android Version: 6.0
Steps to reproduce:
- Write a comment to a collab
- Go to Profile -> Comments
- Click on that comment
- It will load it as a normal rant (See image)
Show as normal rant
Show as collab
I hope you can reproduce...
Has anyone ever had the joy of dragging their employer kicking and screaming into the 20th century?
I've been here a little over a year, and slowly but surely I'm moving us forward.
We implemented git via GitLab (our it department already had an on premise installation), I've got us up and running with basic pipelines, I'm pushing TDD, im leading the move towards APIs for new development, and I'm implementing new projects to streamline our work, mainly by automating tasks which currently can take hours with hundreds of manual changes.
It's slow going, and there's lots of legacy business critical apps which we won't be able to change, but we're getting there.
If things keep going smoothly then I might even ask for a ride to reflect my benefit to the business, and extra responsibilities I've taken on which are far beyond my official job as an SQL Developer5
I need your advices!
Some good resources for teaching child and prepare them for programming and logical/critical thinking?5
A few months ago I applied for an IT Support role managing computer systems for a smaller manufacturing corporation. Now some back story, I'm a recent college grad looking for work and this hit my radar. I did well in the phone interview and really enjoyed the in person interview as well.
However, if I was offered the role I'd be the only person working on their infrastructure. The person who I interviewed with was leaving and thus his position was available. It was kinda strange to interview with the person you'd be replacing.
I started asking questions about their critical infrastructure and how they manage it. Short answer is they don't know.
I asked about off-site disaster recovery. "Oh we back everything up to a 2TB disk and I take it home every day."
I asked "What if that backup fails?"
Their response was "That would suck."
The company decided to go with a managed IT solution instead of me as I don't have the required experience in their eyes. The previous guy left because they we're stuck in their ways.
Yah, no thank you.
Dev: When can we deploy these changes that will improve the services?
Managers: Later, we're at a critical point right now.
..said every day for last four months
How do you guys handle receiving criticism to things you think you're doing well (or maybe not)?
I've been in my current role at my company for almost a year and I think I'm seen as good talent, but I have a hard time translating critical feedback from "we're telling you this so we can see you grow" and instead I hear "you are doing that wrong, do this instead."
It drives me nuts because I always think I'm failing.1
This more of a tifu but to be short and concise..
4 months into the job, still learning the hang of docker, exposed a critical port that collided with a node, crashed our entire internal docker ecosystem. What a day...
Always have a roll forward plan, backups, and a site B. Especially if you think it is a non critical system.
I got the Aero15. Had to send it in because ctrl+alt+shift+s (IntelliJ Preference menu) and some others critical shortcuts weren't working. Got a reply a week later.
"Thank you for using our service. The explained fault isn't actually a fault. If you want to use that button combination simply remap the FN key. Mind you this will disable any FN key combinations."
"What about all the other combinations?"
"Ok we returned it to the technicians who will do their best to repair it."
I await their response. But seriously, for a company that makes GAMING keyboards this is pretty embarrassing. I'm surprised it hasn't gotten more attention.
just yesterday, commiting a pile'o'shit code which u know is pile'o'shit but you had to do it like that because correct non-hacky solution wouldn't meet non-negotiable, client-critical deadline, and getting back a code review criticising precisely all the points which you are aware of and want to kill yourself for but you had no other option under the circumstances.
p. s. still under probation because it's a new job, and the review ends "no time right now but we need to talk at the end of next week"
p. p. s. second best job i ever had. week of fear of losing it commences.1
So I've been given a task to monitor a whole lot of logs of some servers (whole university ~ 10+ departments). The technologies are diverse so I'm cramming everything into elasticsearch via logstash (and filebeat), viewing it into kibana. Any recommendations for what should be the 'useful' stuff to be viewed into dashboard? I guess:
- Overall traffic wtih respect to previous days/weeks
- Most viewed domains
- Failed logins?
- Dropped connections?
- Critical-load of systems? 90%+2
So basically a friend was tasked with doing some syadmin on a propietary system running on top of GNU/Linux (they distribute the software as a distro).
Called me about an hour ago because there was some odd stuff happening so I log into the system and start figuring out what the actual fuck is up.
Just now we discovered that for a certain critical feature you just need to trust that there will be no eavesdroppers, meaning you send system credentials in cleartext over the network, and it won't work if it's not so.
Of course, some tunnels and routing later (which by the way, is "manual" configuration which is highly discouraged by the creators of this piece of crap) we kind of managed to overcome this obvious fail.
Now then, can you please explain me again how is it that these companies grab open source, make useless layers that limit it in every way possible and still profit? I mean, for fucks sake, you should at least let people manage shit with standard, well understood tools instead of "improving system administration", "easing it for...", for whom?
I'm so happy to log into our production server and be welcomed by beastie.1
So, if I do the work of two people, shouldn't I get two salaries?? Deadweight strikes again. Jesus tittyfucking Christ I'm about on my last nerve.. this guy sits on issues until they're critical, then they get passed to other people. Good for him, bad for everyone who's actually FUCKING WORKING AND EARNING THEIR GODDAMN KEEP REEEEEEEE
Worst documentation I have ever dealt with is my own. I have gone back to programs, looked at it, and went, what the heck is even this. I've broken business critical programs just because I didn't know the extent of what I was changing. I've gotten better, because of events like that. OMG!!!!
When the guy you are relying on to do an export for an app during a MISSION CRITICAL downtime exports the wrong data and drops offline... Then you find his number in an email... then you find out he is driving somewhere and will not be back at his computer for 30 minutes...
Thanks for staying up with me @joeygreen
Critical Error: Webpage responded with: 404 Upvote button not found
(also happens to rants, not just comments)
(also don't look at the image for too long it's a pretty gross jpeg)5
I updated NDK, which resulted in some critical errors, because of outdated Gradle used deprecated NDK features.
I read about it, and decided to fix it properly, not hacking around - updatig that old gradle 2.2 to 4.10.2.
I spend about 6 hours fixing all problems and warnings that gradle had because of that, and then some.
At the end, some things still didn't work, but i was clearly missing some code from version control. I clicked update and left it for an hour.
THIS FREAKING BUGGY TFS PLUGIN RUINED ALL MY FILES I N THE PROJECT. WHY ARE WE STILL USING THAT F*King TFS???
Literally, I'm left now with .iml files in folders.
And my updated gradle files are gone too.
my good idea always get rejected first so badly.
Someday ,i proposed a good idea. after meeting with client he said "yeah we actually working on that by using this and this idea" like he's the one who found it, then he said do that idea of yours.
Then someday, i do split the repository to make things clean in approval of my other boss which is more weird. Then after split it up i got bashed from him infront of other team.
But after critical phase that make me night work. He says "we need to split it up to make this easier". Fuck. If we do it first. We dont need to take night work.
Come on, actually i never do something only based on my task. But i do want create better environment on the office. At least morale up your fuckin employee dont bash them everyfuckintime.
But yeah, like buzz said.
"Stupid people, i see stupid people everywhere"
DUPLiCATED SEE COMMENTS
Bug, my feed is full of rants I already upvoted, and reloading it doesn't change the feed, I am on algo mode btw
My phone is a Samsung Galaxy grand prime Android 58
It's too early to be asking these questions today:
Are your DB schema changes checked into source control?
What branch are they checked into?
Why are the schema changes checked into one branch, but deployed to a completely different database?
Is my CI pipeline deploying incorrectly? Oh, you manually deployed changes.
Are your DB changes in source control an accurate reflection of what you actually put in the staging database?
Can I just cherry-pick update my schema with your changes from the staging database?
Why is there a typo in your field name?
Oh. Why is there a typo in the customer data set? Don't they know how to spell that word?
Why is the fucking staging database schema missing three critical tables?
Is the coffee ready? I need coffee.
Why is the coffee not ready yet?
What's going on in DevRant this morning?
What project am I working on now anyway?
Did my schema update finish yet?
Yup, it finished. Crap. Where the hell do I keep those backup files?
What's the command line to restore the file again?
Why doesn't our CLI tool support automated database restores?
I can fix that. What branch name should I check the CLI tool into?
What project was I working on this morning again?1
How should you approach someone and tell them they have been an victim of social engineering without being mean?
I was at an security conference today and watched a lot of speaks, and I must say that the atmosphere and the people around made it even better.
Here is one takeaway:
Does the security of IT has to be this depressing most of the time, like there is so many IoT devices, services, websites and critical infrastructure that has security flaws and all we can do is watch for now and say we are all fucked. Then try to lead the industry to better practices, like owasp (duck it) . Stop accepting and using shitty answers from SO that has security flaws (why learn something a way that is wrong in the first place?).
We need more awareness about IT security overall, how can one developer know that certain technologies can have certain vulnerabilities such as XSS, XSRF and even SQL injection if there is no information about it in among all shitton tutorials, guides and SO answers in the first place?
Lighten up! Being sad and depressing about these issues is not the best way to approach this! We need to embrace all steps taken towards better security, even the smallest ones.
Check out OWASP if you are not familiar :
Thanks for reading.
Spent most of this week busting my ass working on a hotfix that came out of nowhere with mega high priority. This annoys me greatly because the hotfix wasn't even fixing a bug, it was adding new functionality because certain customers were being blocked from testing without this specific feature. In my humble opinion, given that we release every weekend, hotfixes should be reserved for actual critical bugs. But anyway, as I probably could have predicted, the code got to QA and exploded. Literally nothing works.
This is what happens when you try to rush out features to satisfy customers. If you try to rush something that is late, you WILL make it later.
Meanwhile there's an issue I'm supposed to be fixing for our next release which goes out this weekend and I've had no time to even look because of this hotfix. And now it's the end of the day and I just feel worn out from stress, tomorrow will no doubt be similar.1
A Dell laptop, specifically the Inspiron one, they never sleep, so I had to do the crime, multiple times a day, it craps itself, it's AMD chip is shit, it's drivers are the word, and last but not least, this laptop was replaced like 6 FUCKING TIMES, and sometimes I used to be in critical situations where I had to use a laptop and guess what, it didn't want to turn on.
So dell, never again.
One day, I was traveling back home from college, and had my laptop in my bag, and guess what I found out when I got home, the plastic parts in the bag fucking melted, ruined my notebooks, and my bag.
Not to mention it's terrible performance thanks to it's drivers while developing shit with Android studio, you know how it is.
In short, don't buy a Dell product. Ever.4
Can anyone give me an exercise to train programming or critical analysis?
I am really not motivated and trying to give some motivation back when I want to answer some problems.
I'm a bit getting rusty on my head due to Anime and stuff.1
This situation, when you are working as external employee in a company that needs you to test safety-critical systems.
You wait months for "THE" (internal) test tool you have to use to implement your specified tests.
Finally , you meet with the responsible dev guy to let him setup everything.
Me: Hi, I'm here for setting up the test tool for project XY
Dev: Eh? No one (manger) ordered the tool for project XY!
Level 1 support moron dishing out bad instructions from his flowchart.
Wanted me to edit config files for a production setup, which would've killed shipping for all stations, in the middle of our shipping rush.
Fixed the problem while in the escalation queue for level 2. L2 confirms the fix, and bemoans the shit documentation L1 provided.
If its a business class (mission critical) system, hire decent support staff! You might try testing people for reading/listening comprehension, and then paying them a decent wage! This isn't good for my blood pressure...
Love this kind of humor, coworkers output into a log on errors begins with "Found Unidentified Critical Keyerror". Took a while before I noticed the genius message in this error! My colleague deserves a cookie!1
co-op integration, day 1: after 3 hours we decided to postpone all coding until day 2 since we found 8 product open issues and 5 architecture open issues. Also, the other company has a critical deployment problem that needs addressing. good start...
What's up with people being super cutthroat about best coding practices? In my experience it's not very well focused on in schools or especially for self taught devs, so what's with the critical attitude towards bad formatting or indenting, or perhaps less than par code organization? I get it's suboptimal but if someone doesn't know that it's wrong then what's with the fire and brimstone response? Not personal, just something I picked up on.4
Getting tired with the assignments being thrown at us especially the research paper type. The lecture just give us the topic, expect us to complete and submit it. Voila, here's your mark. I'm tired of chasing marks for cgpa instead of for the sake of knowledge. The fact that my scholarship is dependent on the cgpa really stress me out. It also didn't help that all the lecturers are only concern with completing the modules. The fact that I'm a kinaesthetic learner just make the whole learning experience a hell. Memorizing theories for the tests are the worst. Is it so hard to be able to learn happily while still provoke critical thinking? The education today is so monotonous.
"Instead of using languages we all master lets choose language none of us knows and lets use it to build our time constrained business critical platform. Don't worry about the fact we are about a year past deadline" argued leads of another project.
Yeah. About that...2
I want a devRant iPad app.
All it really needs to be is a streaming feed with the slide-out menu static on the left. I'd be happy with that.
Pretty simple, but obviously not critical. I just hope it's on the //TODO list. I'd enjoy it (especially if it supported multitasking).
But don't feel as though you should support the 12.9-inch Pro because lol fuck that monstrosity.10
The first company I worked for had a policy to not ship any release, service pack or hot fix as long as there were still open bugs with the severity "critical" or "blocker". They wanted to ship a service pack nonetheless, but without violating the rule and thus keeping their KPI unharmed. So the support guys got in touch with developers and asked them to lower the severity of certain "critical" bugs. They said we by all means need to write into the comments that the severity of those bugs has to be reset after the service pack was shipped, so that those important bugs would not be left behind.
- Support team violates the rules set up by themselves.
- Developers had the actual work of doing so (and the blame to catch).
- The Support team's KPI just remained unharmed.1
On a call with a client that wants to go into production in 3 weeks then they want to hold off for a week on a critical development decision piece....
It's 1:15 AM and I just got gome from work after 16 hours working on some really difficult mission critical things and deploying.
I think it's 16 hrs, my mind doesn't really work anymore. Good thing I drove home safe...1
It doesn't matter if you've done multiple projects with different tools, languages, team sizes and requirements for ANY company / org etc.
You will feel fucking stupid while taking too long on some of these questions.
I know interview questions are mostly to test your critical thinking skills but fuck I feel so bad after 2 evenings of doing this shit.
It is addictive though...2
Some of you might appreciate this, thought I'd share.
I'm currently on the board for a new school, and one of the choices we've made is to require a basic software programming class (most likely python) in middle school or jr high.
As a board, we've decided that it serves a couple great purposes: teach critical thinking and understanding (even a little bit) how software is written, since that's the axis of the world.3
The most scary moment about running the code for the first time is when no errors are displayed and you're sure it's not because everything is working as intended but because the error is so critical it won't show itself so easly1
Say, you have a huge system with tight memory constraints. Almost every programmer who's created an instance of any object now has that instance in contention for resources on this system. The free memory is going lesser and lesser and other resources are also facing the heat. The garbage collector is not very effective (as garbage collectors we know are). There is a very large pool of objects that do not have any reference and are left to their own. Now instead of instantiating your own objects, you can simply request one off the pool and work with it however you like (regardless of what type the object was) and change its type to the type you want it to (coz they're all after all instances of the same base class).
Now the question is, would you still instantiate your own object or just request from the pool? If it were a fact that once this system is down, you'll never be able to develop and deploy a single program ever again, would you still not care for it?
If only my mom was a programmer, I could have easily explained why I want to adopt a kid and not make my own. :/
I have done some experiments on my server in the past. It's a great way to learn new things. However, I am bound to make some mistakes and over time the sever becomes messier and messier.
A week ago I installed UNRAID on my machine and I love it! I can now have my critical infrastructure live and working in docker containers and vms.
Then if I want to do an experiment I spin up a VM in a couple of minutes to do my thing and remove it when I am done. No traces left!
What the.. Apples member center (for managing iOS dev certificates and profiles) keeps crashing the whole Safari.
Safari restarted three times in 5 minutes now..?!
Appears to be some strange way of self-irony when the browser's developer builds a site provoking a quite critical bug though... x)
Back when rickrolling had hit critical mass - we decided to play a trick on a very fussy project manager. Long story short we embedded a very important message from the CEO of the company on a staging site. Said project manager was taken aback when Rick Astley took over the video.
I hate it when I have to work o weekends because my boss is like: "yep this is critical and I am really reliant on you ;)"
I FUCKING HATE THAT WINKY FACE1
Critical bug in production? Sorry, can't fix it right now: We've got a build running with 1 hour of build time left, 8 hours of automatic tests, 3 days of manual testing, and a partridge in a pear tree. Your fix can be in the next release.
Friday: Run your security test on production after hours.
Saturday: Wait, do development instead.
Today: Ya know, development is a critical environment too. Just don't test anything at all.
Was working in an n-tier website, standard Web forms, BAL, DAL, database architecture. Validation and processing of data done in the BAL. Not the best idea, but whatever. Well apparently some developer thought it was too much work to pass his data through the BAL, so he directly accessed the DAL, performing zero validation on the data being passed in. Luckily, this was in a non-critical part of the site but the PM at the time nearly had a heart attack when I told him.
- "I did the changes you asked but I reverted without commit the changes... It was 3 days of effort😅"
When you assign a critical task to the intern2
Odd question to a dev community who are naturally socially awkward that talks to their ducks.
Even then, for those of us who do have a social life, we just chill when we need to. Anyone who "tries" to balance their life would find it very stressful. Just go with it. Do what you need to do at that scheduled time and when time is up, do the other thing that you promised yourself.
Others: "Easier said than done! You don't have to push releases and squash bugs in critical moments!"
Then that's a trigger to the question, "Do you even live, bro? There's more to life than just dev all day err'day."
Don't think too much.
So a certain functionality in one of our critical systems has to be refactorised and changed to accommodate a new workflow.
So after several days of CTO, CEO talking with me, as I lead this project. We don't have a solution, so the CEO solution is asking fucking everyone in the company.
Juniors that can not tell between an interface or an abstract class come to my desk to tell me how the system should be designed.
Thanks a lot management to make my life easier.
Dev friends! I'm a teacher who is in the process of transitioning into the tech field. I've been working like crazy on and off in my spare time for the past couple years to build my skills and with it a resume. The other day I went to get someone with a developers perspective to proof read it and realised I didn't have anyone!
I hope I don't offend anyone by posting this here but I would appreciate that anyone who is willing and interested, if you would take a look at my resume repo I have and let me know what you think (on GitHub)! Please be critical, that's what makes things better! Side note. I'm constantly baffled by comradery in this community as a whole.
Experience with Plasma Mobile:
After an hour of confusion and bash file trolling (as in scrolling through a bash file, not trolling someone with a script), I ended up needing to reinstall Lineage OS on my phone.
While it's a new and seemingly exciting expanse for modern Linux and Android phones, it's very obviously not ready yet.
Even after fixing some bugs within the bash file, my phone seemed to have a mind of its own; prematurely attempting to boot into the OS during a critical part of the setup. Even after finishing the setup correctly, my phone never actually boots into the system.
While I like the concept behind Plasma Mobile, it does still have a ways to go. But I have some hopes that the project will start getting bigger and better as the time goes on.2
3 weeks into getting dragged into another MS-stack project, I have already been repeatedly reminded why I decided to invest so much energy in moving my career as far away from Microsoft dependency as possible. Even something as simple as reviewing settings on Azure App Service is a hit-or-miss affair, being completely unavailable for hours at a time at least once a week. Azure Functions are consistently unavailable for at least a few minutes every day. Don't even get me started on "Azure DevOps".
Why the fuck do people still place their trust (and critical infrastructure) in the hands of Microsoft?4
What do you mean by you'll shut down the government?!! The government will go on a fucking strike!!? How the fuck does that work?!! You can't make people pass laws by blackmailing that you'll stop doing your job that's so critical to the country!! You are the fucking president!!
Indian politics and laws are not perfect either... But I can't really imagine a prime minister here pulling shit like this!! Not that if I can't imagine it can't happen... Indian politicians know how to stopping lower and lower! But dafuq is that baffoon of a leader thinking!?6
I know, client always have reason, but I wonder if an uppercase issue have to be reported as critical.1
Don't intentionally discard data you can not recover from at least 1 other source. Log everything. Disk space costs less than critical data loss. Especially important working with server to server systems.
That moment when you get asked if you know a language and database that your shop has never used, because an ex-employee in a different department decided to build a mission critical app on their own accord, and it just went tits up.
client gave me one week for major project critical redesign of a subsystem without having any specification, while rest of the team is focused on migrating to the latest server technology.
You just have to love it when a service at your company has the following character set to choose from [a-z][A-Z][0-9]. Not to bad, you might say... And then you realise that it needs to be 6-8 characters long. Who would design something like this?!? I'm happy that it's not too critical if something breaks.
Last night I came back from work completely drained, as usual, and thought to myself - "I'll just lie down for a second..." Next thing my alarm wakes me up 12 hours later - "What the... Again?!?"
It was just my biannual collapse from exhaustion. Now I'm good to go for at least six more months. Yay...
This is what happens when you have been working only on "critical" and "we have to do this or the company sinks" projects (are there any other kinds anyway?) for the past 10 years with NO rest between jobs and NO leisure vacations taken...
Funnily enough, this event coincides with my futile biannual introspective analysis on things I did wrong in my life.
Now back to saving the company...2
Expected to know everything about C# when all you've done is used Visual Studio to build an installer that bundles up someone else's C# app.
I'm a Web Dev not a magician (although at times I feel like it 😊).
Yes I've got a bit of the knowledge that's managed to get into my brain via osmosis but not mission critical level stuff.2
If you had to evacuate your office due to a fire without your laptop and the office was destroyed could you continue to work? Do you have offsite recovery laptops?
Developers usually have flexibility where they can work from but sometimes do not have backup machines available and configured.
As a side question - would your other critical processes - accounting, HR, sales be able to continue to keep your business going in a disaster - or would they be like deer in headlights?6
Spend all day debugging simple post request. Like really what is going on. Super simple. Eyes start to bleed. Check spelling on everything. Finally find out the access-control-origin isn't set right, other dev said it was whatever so glad I'm moving on. Nope. Same error running the app from Visual Studio. Check code again. Everything works in a browser. Windows, VS, or the emulator is blocking just POST requests. I can do get requests all day.
What hell. I'm so critical of my code I spend hours pouring over something I knew was right instead of looking for network errors. I just need to trust myself I guess.
Oh and Windows Cordova apps don't support ES6 lol.1
! rant, needing advice
I'm about to start a big and ambitious project, and I'm stuck with a dilemma: what to pick for the back end server, node js vs Java JEE
Coding made me who I am now. I have a much more organized mind and critical though. I have some new skills that are really useful when it comes to job hunting. I'm proud to do what I do, even if it's not that much. I love learning, coding just fits my style.
I am grateful that I started doing it, there's one big downside to coding though. We all know what it is: USERS!
Going back to drinking some coffee. Oh yea, that's how coding changed my life ;)
I think whether this is even a project that should be done NOW
or if there's some critical dependency that some monkey just happened to have forgotten to tell me...
When you get paged by your company to help investigate and fix critical issue in production and don't get time to work on the hackathon.
Including critical build dependencies inside Android Studio.app instead of in a public repo... why?2
That awesome moment someone accidentally deleted all the Jenkins configs and you're just praying no critical bugs come up...1
What is your favorite method of debugging?
Mine is a debug log. I like a key value setting for enabling/disabling, and logging most transactions, calculations, and variables, even if they seem trivial. I've been able to locate bugs much quicker with detailed logs while some coworkers are still stepping through the process line by line. I don't fault the step method as I use it when logging uncovers nothing (it usually means I didn't log something critical :p) or when logging is not possible.1
As back end developer, I rarely have hands on production environment. When it happens, I need to ask my way around and since the office is empty that day, I ask the client directly. They give me a URL. Right away, I ask the credentials.
"Just connect to the URL"
"You mean, you have an open access of this software, having critical information of more than 50 000 persons, to the web?"
*Silence* "hahaha it appears that way"
Thankfully, a tactful manager handled the situation astutely and we never heard about it anymore.
Don't we love all happy ending?
"We'll publish critical vulnerabilities in PGP/GPG and S/MIME email encryption on 2018-05-15 07:00 UTC. They might reveal the plaintext of encrypted emails, including encrypted emails sent in the past. #efail 1/4"
Let's see how this unfolds. While there is chaos I trink some tea and laugh, because I never send critical information over e-mail. 🧐🍵4
Try leveraging retired laptops for disaster recovery. Companies can realize resilience and save a fortune doing this. Hey, if everyone evacuated your office right now could you continue to keep your critical processes going?3
That moment, when code freeze is tomorrow and you have a critical jira ticket, which couldn't reproduced in your setup or the qa's, so that you end up resolving it without doing anything
I may have asked this before, but is Ada just an unpopular language? I mean, it was designed to be safety critical, but it seems at least in my job that all of the Ada products re being migrated to C++. Even safety critical stuff.3
Question for people using devRant on iOS.
I’ve been running into a weird issue, which I’m not sure if I’m the only one.
The issue: When you get notifications on devRant and have read the notifications, but when you leave the app keeps saying you have notifications. (The count on the app keeps going up, and it randomly resets)
It’s nothing critical and I’m planning on opening a issue later, but wanted to see if anyone else is also running into this issue or if it’s just me. (iPhone 6s, iOS 11.3)
Let me know in the comments if you’ve experienced this issue also.2
So here is a mini rant from an amateur/hobbyist developer (me).
Over the past week, I've taken on a project that is much larger than any other projects i've attempted to handle (steam trading bot). This meant that there would be logic flaws, weird bugs due to unexpected behavior from shitty web apis (and their poor documentation hmmmm).
Anyhow, fast forward a few days and the code is complete. It's mostly functional, apart from a few glitches and unexpected behavior here and there...or so i thought. Apparently if someone trades and item to me that isnt in my pricegrid, the bot freaks out and kills itself, relaunches, and repeats this cycle (pm2). And i only found out about this on my way to school
So in desperation to fix such a critical flaw in my code (if my bot breaks a lot and doesnt accept trades, i can get banned from backpack.tf), i bust out my only device which is my phone, and start editing away (JuiceSSH and turbo client is godsend ty). 30 minutes later, after toiling through code with no indentation or syntax highlights (mobile pls), ive fixed it. So i push to live and alls well.
Then I arrive at school, pull out my laptop and decided to check up on my code to see if anything needs fixing.
Oh look in one line i used '||' instead of '&&'.
ok lets fix it.
ok lets push to live again.
I launched WinSCP to move the files onto the server, and just as the loading bar finishes and the file is overwritten, i realized; FUCK the code i had on my laptop wasnt the latest version i just worked on on my phone.
So that's that. 30 minutes of typing code without indentation and syntax highlighting on a 5 inch screen and it's all gone.
Version control is a must.
Coding came years ago as a career change (evolved from a hobby), and though I was in engineering before, this career has brought my critical thinking to a whole new level.
Let's hope the government starts an initiative to get rid of fake editors. All the mainstream alternative editors will be banned from discussion in social media. People have to think critical and realize that there is only one editor: vi.1
QA: Finds and reports Critical Bug
Dev: Hotfix 2 days before next scheduled deploy, NP!
After Scheduled Deploy...
QA: Critical Bug is back
Dev: Oops, overwrote hotfix during Scheduled Deploy
Started with VB.Net, moved to websites with WordPress. Shortly after I wanted more control over the output and started using CodeIgniter, then FuelPHP.
In the meantime, I learned Java to try making Android apps (and quickly gave up because both regular Java and Android APIs are a mess).
A robotics club started in school which made me go back to BASIC for programming Picaxe microcontrollers, then C++ for Arduinos.
Currently, I focus on progressive web apps and sometimes native libraries/programs with C++ when performance is critical.
All the learning was mostly done on YouTube (thenewboston channel)
Presumably this would come together with some form of universal income. Even Elon musk thinks this is a going to become critical in a few years time. So in that case I would spend my days creating things. I'd probably start with video games as that's my current hobby. But yeah, more time for creative activities would be awesome! Go ai!
Brilliant rant from Redditor OK6502 in a thread about a "tech screen" being used to get free labor:
Usually when something like this uses the words complex tech stack it means you're going to have to deal with shitty server code distributed over a mix of Azure and AWS nodes and a lone Linux server running under someone's desk, an infuriating configuration hell with no safeguards for keeping dev and prod isolated, a hodge podge of different scripting languages (why not make scripts in pero that call power shell which then calls more perl? Should work right?) and random but critical shit checked into 3 different SVN, stuff stashed on people's shares that will never be checked even though you can't do your homework b without it, usually copied from someone else's share who left the company 3 years ago, no QA process to speak of (while claiming to be agile, somehow) and a front end that is maintained by one exhausted junior dev who inherited a mess of 20 different js frameworks that all load at the same time with every single click, somehow.
The full thread is really worth reading:
Yesturday when I got off work I turned my PC off and it installed some updates... Came in the today turned on the PC and the fucking Win 10 instantly crashes with Sadface of Death "could not run critical service"
Recovery does not work as usual... No safe mode no nothing!
Fuck you Microsoft just stop puting your nose in to hardware and fix your fucking software! Now I have to reinstall all of my development tools and other work related shit... Thank god I pushed my changes!
A friend outsourced a project to us with partial requirements. We developed it as per the requirements and submitted the app and admin portal to his client. I was aware of certain critical features missing in the requirement. Generally we provide an admin portal to manage the backend of the app, but in this project a backend was to be made but the adding or modifying users section was not mentioned in the requirement. My team presented the project and convinced them to create or modify users writing SQL queries on the production DB (they are sales guys with no technical knowledge)
P.S - we won't be responsible for any DB errors :P
When the client amends the content and removes critical items to be surfaced via the API just because. Fuck it I hate working with immature API's, guess fraud data till they fix it I hate doing shite twice.