Y’all fcking kidding me right.

Client (not for the first time): Your work sucks. I had to have this email formatting re-done before I sent it out.

Me: *sees that the email sent matches the work I did exactly with no changes*

Client (months later): I need you to do maintenance on my website.

Me: *does quick maintenance for free but sends update on status of work done and amount left in retainer agreement*

Client: You're too expensive! You started working with me for $X/hr, then you went up to $Y/hr and now you're all the way up to $Z/hr! You're not worth that!

Me: *fires client by refunding the remainder of retainer and sends client a list of local, cheaper providers*

Client: But now I don't have anyone to maintain my website until I find a new provider! Why have you done this to me? Waaaahhhhh!

Me (in the most professional language I can muster): Because you're a biotch and I'm tired of your verbal abuse. Maybe try not to be such a dbag to that next provider, mmm'kay?

So, I applied for a job lately and the first interview via Zoom went pretty good. Then I got an invitation for a second interview at the company.

I got there, was guided into a conference room and the two head of departments along with an HR woman joined. After a bit if chit-chat HR rep said I should tell them in the next couple of days if I'm still interested. HR left, the other two gave me a tour of the complex, lasting about an hour.

then we got back to the conference room, waited for HR rep and when she arrived she told me something along the lines of "Yeah, we got an impression of you now and you don't need to contact us anymore if your are interested...."

me to myself: "wait what? that sucks...."

HR: "We are impressed enough of you that we want to hire you immediately. Here is the contract!"

me (completely speechless): "oh... OH... THANKS, but... OHHHH" (having a stupid perplexed grin on my face)

I mean... I got the job and pay is good, but PLEASE don't trick me like that!!! I nearly got a heart attack!!!

Pick yours

Internship opportunities for Android Developers

Must have atleast 1 year experience in iOS development for Android.

true story

Here's why I hate HR:

Applied to a job and requirements where:
> 3 years + experience with the good old combo HTML CSS JS (oh yeah)
> 3 years + experience with Vue or React (Vue specialist is here baby 😎)
> Salary higher than the average

Got a call on the same day from HR, and she asks:
> Years of experience with Java
> Years of experience with native android development
> Years of experience with Swift or iOS development
> *I started to get confused*
> Then came questions about my machine and if I had good Internet
> And only then she asked about the requirements for the job

2 days later she says I don't fit the job bc they work with different languages

That's why I hate HR, fr.
They didn't know what UI or UX meant.
And kept saying that Vue, angular and react where languages

Languages

*Conversation about the loan*
HR: what do you expect?
Me: Dunno, I've heard you pay any student about 15€/h, so that's my expectation
HR: Jeah, correct, but do you think you're worth that?

Excuse me what the fuck?

Company: Hey finish off that degree and we will hire you as a "real developer".

Me: Hey I finished my degree and I applied for that internally posted developer position. How about making me a "real developer" now.

Company: ...

Company: ...

Finally replied today with generic email template thanking me for my interest and applauding me for my skills but sadly informing me I don't meet the requirements for the position.

W.T.F 😡

I think I might be done with this company.

Is it normal, or is the HR stalling?

I spoke with the HR and they offered me a job and they’re drafting the offer letter.

1 month later.

They’re still drafting the offer letter.

Do I have to worry about the length of responsibilities that I need to do?

Few years ago a girl from our HR was hitting on my co-worker. She was asking all kinds of personal and professional favours just so he would come by her place, etc. One time she asked him to send her few C/C++ questions that she could use to thin the crowd of potential candidates before inviting them for the formal interview that he'd conduct later on. Obviously she wouldn't know if the answer is good or not but hell with it, he was ready to storm that pink fortress! So he came up with some mind twisters. She left two days later before he even reached the drawbridge. Sad.

So about six months ago he got fed up with some bullshit and left the company. Yesterday we had dinner. He was interviewing for quite some time being picky about which offer to accept and, surprisingly, during his last interview he got asked very familiar set of questions. He answered each. Then he couldn't resist and asked if the girl works there. The guy confirmed and, without a warning, called her. As if it wasn't awkward enough this is how I was told the conversation went:

- "Joan! You won't guess who I've got here! Your very good friend, Peter! Nope. Yeah, that one - how did you kn... Uh-huh. Oh? Yeah. Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn't. Deal!"

Then he turned out to Peter and said:

- "You know what? I wasn't going to hire you for shit because in my opinion your knowledge on the subject matter, how to put that gently, sucks ass... But apparently Joan here says you're professional and can handle everything we'll be able to throw at you. So when can you start?"

Needless to say he took the job. The fortress fell soon after and he wanted to meet to ask if I'm coming for the bachelor party. I'm ordering t-shirts with "batch mode off" in monospace.

Last week I designed the front page of a construction company website for getting the internship....
After showing my sample to the HR ..he mailed me asking
--->
"Do you know how to code?"
--->
Now I don't know is it sarcastic or I really don't know how to code.

"So Alecx, how did you solve the issues with the data provided to you by hr for <X> application?"

Said the VP of my institution in charge of my department.

"It was complex sir, I could not figure out much of the general ideas of the data schema since it came from a bunch of people not trained in I.T (HR) and as such I had to do some experiments in the data to find the relationships with the data, this brought about 4 different relations in the data, the program determined them for me based on the most common type of data, the model deemed it a "user", from that I just extracted the information that I needed, and generated the tables through Golang's gorm"

VP nodding and listening intently...."how did you make those relationships?" me "I started a simple pattern recognition module through supervised mach..." VP: Machine learning, that sounds like A.I

Me: "Yes sir, it was, but the problem was fairly easy for the schema to determ.." VP: A.I, at our institution, back in my day it was a dream to have such technology, you are the director of web tech, what is it to you to know of this?"

Me: "I just like to experiment with new stuff, it was the easiest rout to determine these things, I just felt that i should use it if I can"

VP: "This is amazing, I'll go by your office later"

Dude speaks wonders of me. The idea was simple, read through the CSV that was provided to me, have the parsing done in a notebook, make it determine the relationships in the data and spout out a bunch of JSON that I could use. Hook it up to a simple gorm golang script and generate the tables for that. Much simpler than the bullshit that we have in php. I used this to create a new database since the previous application had issues. The app will still have a php frontend and backend, but now I don't leave the parsing of the data to php, which quite frankly, php sucks for imho. The Python codebase will then create the json files through the predictive modeling (98% accuaracy) and then the go program will populate the db for me.

There are also some node scripts that help test the data since the data is json.

All in all a good day of work. The VP seems scared since he knows no one on this side of town knows about this kind of tech. Me? I am just happy I get to experiment. Y'all should have seen his face when I showed him a rather large app written in Clojure, the man just went 0.0 when he saw Lisp code.

I think I scare him.

I'm having difficulty treating HR like human beings. I mean yes I spammed you to fetch me my payslip but why didn't you check why I am not getting it automatically from the first time? And your response is you are busy and HR requests take a minimum of 48 hours to process? THE FUCK? I mean how hard can it be to type my ID in the system and send me my payslip.
I really need to learn how to "play nice" before I get in trouble.

Why do the HR folks cannot be more passionate about their work. Everywhere I have worked, they don’t pay a lot of attention to how their processes affect their employees.

I had a Visa appointment along with my wife today. The appointment was scheduled couple of weeks back. The email with appointment schedule had the list of documents that we needed to carry.

There was one document which HR folks needed to generate themselves and share to me. Its basically the certificate of employment. Now, I had a Certificate of Employment from last year and I thought that would suffice. But then the Visa lady told me that they needed a latest one(generated in last 3 months). It was very weird for the Visa process since I didnt have to carry that certificate couple of years back. But anyways.

My issue with the HR people is that if there was a need to generate this document from their side, they could have already generated it and shared with me. But no, they will wait for something like this to happen. They will only do this when I had asked about it and then they would have generated the certificate and shared with me.

Similar experience in my previous company, when I moved to Germany couple of years back and the company had arranged for accommodation for me. The building where I had my initial temporary stay, had two entrances and only one of them had the elevator, which was at the back side of the building. My apartment was located on the 5th floor. Since there was no mention of the elevator in the email that I received from the HR folks, I had to carry 6 bags up 5 floors after my 12 hours of flight. It took almost an hour to get all of them up.

All of this could have been easily avoided if the HR folks were a bit more empathetic towards the people they deal with and tried making their life a bit more easy. A little note of elevator, or generating certificates automatically feels the lives of employees so easy and it really avoids a lot of hassle, both for employee and the HR folks themselves.

So it's been nearly 3 months and HR have yet to process my authorised promotion, or pay me any of my new salary, despite it being escalated multiple times thanks to my boss, Head of, and Director.

...Does HR live in a separate reality to our own? Am I being played for a fool? Am I expecting too much of a HR sector in a Fortune 100 company..? 🤔

I have to make a big decision about my future as a developer...
(Long rant)

I am currently in an apprenticeship as a dev.
The thing is i was forced to do testautomatization.

I was there for half a year and had a good time.
But now my trainer (the guy who assigned me all the work and showed me all the stuff I learned) has been fired.

And now it sucks... they don't teach me new things anymore and don't give me time to catch up with the new technologies.
(This was different in the past!)

I was forced to do manual testing for the past few week.
Therefor i am working with a friend and his trainer.

One day i was talking to my friend about how things have changed in the testing-team.

His trainer was listening (we did not know) and sayed: If you want i can ask my boss if it is possible that i can teach you as well.

Now the point is i woud love to work with him. I love the work they do!! (Java; don't hate me)

But it will make the testing guys mad and I dont know how HR will react.

I am pretty sure it will reduce my chances of getting a job (at this company) if I change the team...

Should I talk to HR or not? What do you think?

Thanks for reading and sorry for my english bugs.

Got a promotion at the end of April this year from Junior Dev to React Engineer, and HR STILL hasn't amended my contract... At this point I'm owed 2 months of backpay... Why is it so hard for HR in any business to just change a field, sign some forms and bung it off?

You know what's bullshit? CS Degrees as a requirement, even for the shittiest dev jobs.

Sorry fuckers, I don't feel like killing myself over fucking math bullcrap for 3 goddamn years just to work as an intern slave for some rich CEO who prefers to hire some guy who doesn't know shit about actual working with computers but has a degree.

And this horseshit happens only in dev jobs. Why. Are devs some fucking nuclear scientists or something? I work as sysadmin and they didn't ask me for any shit degree and I earn more than the average code monkey where I live.

Goddamn HR fuckers. May Allah take you to hell.

So what's up with HR people pushing people to stop using terms like master/slave and blacklist/whitelist because it's offensive to people? I mean this is simply censorship out of context. It's not blatantly hating on someone.

Did they did even ask concerned people their opinion? Is this really gonna help professional inclusion? Censoring terms will not solve issues if you cannot talk about it in an honest manner.

Fuck sake some HR people are paid for doing bullshit.

I need a compelling case for why we should not support IE11. Apparently 10% of our user base uses it and "it fucking sucks and breaks all the new shit you want me to do" is not an answer. And a possible HR violation.

GM sucks. (General Motors)
There HR sucks, can't call on booked time, for phone screening and wanted me after I applied for job 4 months ago. I still entertained them. But now, it has gone too far.
I am blacklisting GM for life. I will never ever work for them, unless they give me 1 Million per month

The HR for my last employer sucks.

After I left, my employer changed record keepers for the 401k before I could rollover the funds to an IRA. I thought, “It will be fine. I’ll wait until they finish setting up the new record keeper. Then, I can do the rollover.”

When the blackout period was about to end, I didn’t receive any instructions about the new record keeper. The funds had been transferred already and I called the old record keeper to confirm it was done by my former employer. I think, “Maybe they forgot to contact me because I’m no longer an employee.”

I email HR and ask when I can expect instructions on how to access the new record keeper. Idiots send me instructions for the old record keeper and how to file for a distribution. HR had actually called the old record keeper for these instructions when the funds were no longer with the old record keeper. WTF 😤

It takes all of my strength to write a civil email. I remind them that funds were transferred nearly 2 weeks ago by them to a new record keeper. I repeat that I need instructions on how to access the new record keeper and I don’t need instructions on how to file for a distribution from the old record keeper.

I’m effing glad I don’t work there anymore. I can’t deal with that HR’s idiocy anymore.

"basically I have quite the experience and last job I was senior"

"How much experience do you have with [language] in specific?"

"About 4 years"

"Ah so you are medior, we are searching for a senior."

Seriously, who came up with the stupid idea of "must have 5+ years in a tech to be senior"?

Email: "Thanks for applying to this position, after you complete this technical test, please let us know via email."

Me: Dude! I didn't even apply for that position, stop spamming 😒

Well I recently decided to apply for a job although I was planning to go to college in full time this October.

I saw the job ad whilst being active on Stack Overflow. As I just finished my apprenticeship some months ago, I decided to call the firm and ask if I can apply. I clearly stated what I have done before and what knowledge I've gained and what I'm not able/willing to do.

I was "allowed" to apply and additionally took two coding challenges (I completed all tasks with the correct results) as well as a one-hour telephone interview.

After that I almost immediately got invited to a personal job interview after the firm's boss agreed.

The meeting ran very well and I was able to correctly answer almost all questions. Although I was applying for a complete backend position I was asked unconditionally many questions about frontend/webdesign, what I clearly stated that I'm not good at this and thus also not looking for a job with such an requirement.

Two days later I got the response form the HR, that they were looking for some more experienced (within a professional software development team) which I didn't because I was mostly working as the programmer and IT guy in non-IT department in the company I worked before. That hasn't been a mystery I wasn't telling before. 😮😮😮😮

But HR additionally told me, they noticed - whilst in the recruitment process with me - that they already have enough backend devs and are seeking for a frontend dev instead.

Well then why the f*ck do you upload a job ad when you suckers don't need that position? And why the hell do you think you then have to waste my time with a frontend-oriented interview? Get your shit on the way and just invite people you really want to employ.

So rethink. Much wow.

I went to a job interview about 3 weeks ago. I got an email that I didn't pass, so I asked for a feedback. Their response was that I have required technical skills, but the reason I was not accepted was "your personality is incompatible with our team". I mean, WTF. How can you get my personality after one hour of me talking about code?

You know it sucks when you log in your PC first thing in the morning and have to wait for 1 hr before it gets to show your desktop whilst your energy automatically deflates.

I could kiss my productivity levels goodbye.

One of my friend asked me
What the hack is this ...

Tech Associate on Job title
Full Stack Dev on Job Description ?

I wish there were local boot camps. Sucks to travel to SF or some major city and pay for flight, car, etc, when others can attend since they're right there.

I would attend more of these if cities within a 2 hr drive could host them.

Why are is it that senior managers can carry mobiles in the office but juniors can't due to fucking GDPR.

I don't get it are we gonna steal some data and the managers won't. What the fucking idiocracy!!!!

Interviewing other devs (for job placement) totally sucks. I never realized what a shitty process hiring people can be.

More than half of the applicants are totally unqualified (good fucking job TekSystems), and those who are seem to be only *just* qualified enough, or have really bizarre portfolios and personalities. I'm glad I'm not in HR.

Asp.Net MVC core

Me: this is really cool scaffolding out models.

1hr later: This really sucks have to bind models

1hr later. This is awesome only one nav bar to worry about.

1hr later this is total shit controller inside controller.

1 hr later wow I love MVC

Anybody can relate++

Feel like I'm loosing my mind.