I found a solid solution for clickbaiting!

You just have to:
... [read more]

I made a ridicously hilarious hack recently. My refrigerator it's broken, it has a huge leak of water, my hack was to let the water flow in a plastic box and make a circuit with two water level sensors, a relay and a PIC16F628A to activate a pump that sucks water away through a tube that I wedged intlside the gasket of the washbasin. This gave me the time to buy a newer and better one.

WannaCry Ransomware Execution flow..

Headphones on = I'm in a flow. Leave me the fuck alone.

Merry Gitmas! 🎄🎉

Lets all stop and take a moment to thank Stackoverflow for our jobs...

So keep things simple and use flow diagrams

If you disrupt my working flow and you're not

1) On fire.
2) About to explode.
3) You're dog is dead(dogs are the shit)
4) Snoop dog is in the building

Then you're a cunt.

*boots computer*
*login screen appears*
*enters password*
*windows says "Welcome"*
*You have entered wrong password*

Are you fucking serious? Can't you even handle simple login flow? Why the fuck you display welcome screen before validating my fucking password? What the FUCK

I can't believe that something I threw together in an afternoon to make my work flow better turned into something people actually use! People are opening issues and suggesting things. Never thought it would get over 2.5k downloads! 😮

I sometimes write code by first putting comments and then writing the code.
Example
#fetch data
#apply optimization
#send data back to server
Then i put the code in-between the comments so that i can understand the flow.
Anyone else has this habit?

When you start smiling at rants all the time and your family and friends think you got a new girlfriend

A flow chart to live by

90s devs: "Did you know about GOTO/CONTINUE for control flow? it's so convenient and powerful!"

00s devs: "GOTO is an antipattern. But did you know about try/catch? You can use it for control flow, just write a lot of exception classes, it's so powerful!"

10s devs: "Using exception blocks for generic control flow is an antipattern. But have you heard about event listeners and observer patterns? It's so powerful!"

Developers are so good at repackaging and reselling square wheels by giving them fresh, impressive sounding names.

😡

I misclicked an nsfw channel on discord and I got a dialog asking my age. I wasn't interested in loading the channel and you cannot close this dialog - it even reappears if you restart the app because the channel will still be selected.

I input 0 years just to cancel, which lead to an instant account ban and an email about scheduled deletion. In order to retain my account I need to send in selfies of myself holding my ID.

That's... a surprising user flow from a misclick. May I suggest a little x in the corner, as we professionals call it.

I often find myself as the poor bastard.

Finding the bug. The usual flow:
"Omg! I think it's a bug in the compiler"
10 minutes later:
"OK, it surely is a bug in the runtime"
20 minutes later:
"I'm certain this is a bug in the core library"
2 hours later:
"Oh, it's a bug in my code. Again, as usual, I'm the idiot. Stupid world."

> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~

roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla

(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!

I hate when people do this.

Every day in the office kitchen I find bottles of milk open and left out, in the fridge with no date, and empties everywhere. Yesterday I found 11 open and partially used bottles of milk. I’ve designed this flow chart to help educate people (in a way developers can understand) on how to manage milk which is apparently a real challenge for some.

Past 8 month summarized in one picture 🥰

Had a fun little conversation with a potential employer...

Him: We use git for version control. To work with our team you'll be expected to do the same and be proficient at it.

Me: Not a problem. I am well versed with all things git! May I ask, what does your work flow look like?

Him: All of our source lives in a single repo and everyone commits straight to master.

Me: 😐...

Him: Conflicts will not be tolerated.

Let the hate flow through you!

My boss was getting upset about me not letting him know where I was. So I created a flow that would email him automatically if I was in the office or not by a certain time.

Code-flow and algorithms are just meaningful doodles, you know 😁

Stairway to the Masterbranch

TLDR: Fuck you, Client A

1. Want to change the business flow during UAT and decide the deadline to be less than 4 weeks, even though that's how the business flow stated on the docs
2. He threatening us not to pay if it isn't done, even though he's not the one paying us
3. He said time isn't a problem because he can provide a table and chair that is put in front of his table

Fuck you, Client A

The awkwardly embarrassing moment when you realise your junior, a fresher out of college, knows more than you... Shittt... Why kids are so fucking smart these days!!! I'm looking for a place where I can go and just hide from the world. If you know one, please help.

Quick question/rant.

Does anyone else ever feel like you're never actually doing enough work. I spend so much longer than I'd like figuring out the HOW of the thing. I feel like I'm doing badly because I just can't work fast enough.

I so very rarely get into the state of "flow" where I can just work. It's mostly at the start of projects where I can hammer out a lot and I feel so fucking great. But that never lasts.

Does that ever end? Do you ever get to the point where you work as efficiently as possible?

Oh no, oooooh nononono
they dont delete the branches after a pull request

232 branches? hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhno
and look at that naming

im intimidated, i dont want to work in this environment. No. NO!

That feeling when you finally get confirmation that you got the position you've been waiting for at work, AND get a higher salary than you actually asked for. By quite a lot.

PM: What are you going to do today?

Expected-
Me: execute some junits.

Actual-
Me: execute some joints.

Sad auto corrects, flow keyboards.

Once a day, take some time to read your colleagues' commits.

You will see how they work, you will learn how they solve problems, you will understand their flow and you will know more and more parts of the code base.

When you've been working for ages and are desperate for a pee, but you've just had a major breakthrough and code is pouring off your fingers like honey, and you don't want to stop because it will break the flow.

FOR FUCKS SAKE, CLEAN YOUR KEYBOARD!

Today we had some presentations on a class, I was near the projector, so I volunteered to control the presentation flow.

Fast forward three teams, arrives this guy, lets his laptop and and I open it... SMELLS, FUCKING SMELLS BAD. Add to that grease and dirt all over the keyboard... I just pressed the right arrow key with the bare tip of my finger...

It's not that hard to keep your workstation clean. Most of all, odourless.

Was coding and tired as hell, my light in the room blew this week and I haven't got around to replacing it - the darkness is not exactly that exciting.

Pressed a wrong button by accident, lo and behold my laptop has a backlit keyboard. I had no idea that it had this. Blew my fucking mind (I have never had the time to just sit and look at the function keys - I suppose that is one downside to never having to look at the keyboard when one types).

A new flow of inspiration came upon me, I opened up VSCode and put on some Pantera.

Code beware, I'm fucking hostile.

True story... sadly....

I couldn't care less for aggressive 20 year old devs opinions.

Everytime I see a post where someone is being an asshole making strong comments about software, I'm like "oh, how cute, he's trying to be taken seriously by insulting others".

Then I check history and it's just a flow of hateful comments and memes...

(I do mind respectful and humble 20 year olds though)

Holy fuck this new GitHub feature is amazing!!!
It's called GitHub Actions and you can easy automate your work flow using a simple graphical editor!
I need to test this out right fucking now!

While coding, I always listen to music. After a while, if I skip a song I know it's time for a break. The flow has been interrupted

FOR FUCK SAKE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND !!!!
Been working on an app at work for 9 months and now PM tells me customer wants to change flow of the app!!!

Kill me please ASAP!

B - Ok guys, here we are to decide who's gonna do what.
What part of the app needs to be developed
P1 - The UX
P2 - The Statistics
P3 - The calls to the server
Me - The flow of work

B - Uhm, right, well scratch that, I'm gonna need you to make a website for a costumer.

Me - But this app is due to the next two weeks!!

B - I'm sure you'll manage.

Let's have some puntastic cheesy coding pickup lines in the comments 🌝 " are you github ? I've always wanted to commit to you " that's my take .. ( and I know it's bad ) let the creativity flow :)

You know how we all get frustrated with new clients who don't provide enough information or detailed background of what the last dev did or tried?

Careful what you wish for. Just took on a new client who has sent 3 separate Word docs, all organized and color coded and fully detailed with the website's life history. All 24 pages of it.

We are supposed to fix the checkout flow and organize the download directory. That's all.

yeah I actually forgot to thank stackover flow from what I am now. Thank you Stackoverflow

credits on the owner of the photo.

Neural Network Stones
Credits: Mritunjay

I see posts about automating your work flow, but if your aim is to save time by automation consult this handy chart

Just finished a 18 hour coding day (It‘s 5:30am here). I just realized that coding is one of the few things I really get in the zone (flow state). It‘s so awesome how I can forget everything around me and be 100% focused on what I‘m doing. And the best thing: I really feel relaxed now.

"The new platform is launching tomorrow. Get the most perfect first time user experience and registration flow. Don't leave until it's done."
Exactly one year later: "We are finally about to launch the new platform"

Pen and paper. I fill notebooks with pseudocode and flow charts before ever touching a keyboard.

#machinelearning #ml #datascience #tensorflow #pytorch #matrices #ds

I was working for a client on a simple landing page. After struggling for days with the text-flow of one paragraph and trying one CSS property after another I finally realized it.
He sent me the texts in PDF format and I just copied them. What I did not know is that all the spaces in the text were non breaking spaces wich of course did not wrap like I expected.

Heureka. You bloody bitch. Never imagined having such a fucking issue in web development...

Embarrassing moment day 2.

I push a fix for a bug just to introduce another more severe bug. (Checkout after payment hanged ~15s)

Freaking out because it's on production. Turn to my lead for guidance, he writes back idk you fix it, you created it.

Found the issue extended from improper class that a function was called again and again that caused a recursive flow.

Fuck me this is a bad week

What my IDE says: "Method 'foo' is too complex to analyze by data flow algorithm".
What it means: "Your code is shit and I just give up at trying to understand it".

That moment when you enter the elusive state of mind where you're getting serious shit done aannnnnnnddd you're interrupted. FUCK!

Client:we want dynamic mapping of network and packet flow visualization like;packet tracer simulation
Us: is 2D visualization enough.
Client:yeah
*fast forward after first demo*
Client: now make it 3D with pipes representing cable.and packets flowing through them like water.
Me: fucccccck

I want to know what brings you Joy while programming/coding?

I've been trying to catch that certain feeling...

For me it's having everything make sense and a logical flow through the code and it works every if it is adding two vars.

And please definitely not the money if you're coding for money then you're not enjoying it.

when a feature is flagged as emergency but the app is barely used by the company.

I'm gonna cheat a little since i don't like alcohol 😁

School projet, designer sends me final design less than 24 hours before the deadline, i coded all night long. 17 hot chocolate bowl. I never got the luck to be in the same flow than that night. Each hot chocolate made me stronger, lines of code were running, CSS was perfectly good first try.

Once code was submitted, i slept for like 14 hours. I woke up hugging my pillow.

I'm pretty sure i was drunk with hot chocolate.

I'm sick to death of hiring people from other companies and explaining GitFlow and why its useful (what are you people doing?).

Then watching them doing it wrong, pointing out its easier to use something like sourcetree. Which leads to "... well see, the terminal is just more efficient, tools like sourcetree are bloated".

Ok fair enough, well heres the deal i'll make with you, while using your "efficient tool", stop breaking our workflow and i'm fine for you to keep using it. Otherwise, stop being a dick and be a team player.

When you're a hardcore web developer, the only 'action' you .get() is when you're writing a login form scraper for your three-legged oauth flow in Python

Jarvis Flow

Observation

Usually happens when hitting some heavy development after waking up to an idea at 5am and rushing in to the office to make it happen. Then you write for hours straight refilling some coffee once in a while.

At some point you start finding other people at the coffee station and the smalltalk starts. For some reason I can't turn my brain into social mode. Someone asks me stuff like "How was your weekend?" And the answer can be anything between "I like turtles" and some totally uninhibited and unintended truth in the TIM category.

Flow is strong but it totally fucks up my social capabilities. It also makes me happy =D

Suprise, my first ocr neural net got 96% accurate on the first 20000 step training run wooo

Shamless rant towards the shamless Cursey dude. 😫

So whole day I have been trying to pass a variable from laravel blade view to vue2 component file. All in seperate files. I know that I have successfully passed 1 or 0 in same flow before. So I was following the same steps to pass my string variable. It kept giving me undefined. No google helped and I had been doing all kinds of stupid useless trials. All failed.

Because it is supposed to fail. 😐
I only learned it at the end of the day.

I think tensor flow processors are fucking stupid.

Change my mind.

Deleted accounts could have a skeleton/corpse as the picture.

Adding "no offense" in the tags just to be a bit polite.

When your boss tells you he has a new project for you and it's going to be to overhaul the information architecture and UI of a clunky AF internal tool!

"I already have twenty storyboards, four wireframe models of user flow, thirteen UI theme choices..."

Dis' gon' be gud.

When you reach that point, that level -- a coding apex, and the universe has found you. That feeling as you code, where the ideas, the advanced concepts, they flow out of your mind like beautiful and wonderful poetry. And you smile, because all is well, and you have created something beautiful in a world that needs more beauty. Also, it's lunchtime.

Actually got these tips today:
1. Write code so clean that it won't need commenting.
2. UML and other flow charts and graphs are very important.

If I cut my wrists it would flow and sprinkle too much thick and hot italian coffee instead of the blood.

PROGRAMMING AS AN INTELLECTUAL ACTIVITY IS THE ONLY ART FORM THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CREATE INTERACTIVE ART. 🎨
YOU CAN CREATE PROJECTS THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN PLAY WITH, AND YOU CAN TALK TO THEM INDIRECTLY. 💬
NO OTHER ART FORM IS QUITE THIS INTERACTIVE. 💕
MOVIES FLOW TO THE AUDIENCE IN ONE DIRECTION. ⏩
PAINTINGS DO NOT MOVE.🖼
CODE GOES BOTH WAYS. ↔

- ZED SHAW

I'm surprised how much work I got done today. Was working in a cafe with my girlfriend. So productive.

Then I get home and think I'll continue the flow but here I am.....Just being a potato

Bringing up some new task as a priority when you are in a flow.

When friends ask you how much a complicated app cost. 20 to 50k on the low end. The mouths drop to the flow and give up on their great idea

Tips for a good rant:
- Don't think about it, just lets the words flow.
How to write a good rant:
- start coding

Sounds like Flow indeed

!rant

I’m a backend - spaghetti - developer, and today i took the biggest mindfuck in my life when i found out that it’s possible to have functional mockups... at first glance i tought that i’ve only received a screenshot collection of what the designer did... guess what... i was able to click lè buttons and go trough the whole application flow.

Thanks Adobe for xD ...
I should get a freakin designer job.

Just because I have not written any code yet, does not mean I have not started on your project. I can either plan it well or let the code flow from my fingers like diarrhea.

Anyone that tries to solve my Stackover flow question, gets down voted 😂 What's worst, I got down voted after 20mins. Worst, it can't be solved! Fuck! Guess no sleeps tonight

I mean, I really, really like Linux, don't get me wrong but I don't know if it's my Pi or something I've done but I've always gotten issues with it after a few weeks/months.
Everything will flow smoothly until it crashes, and it won't start the x server, and pretty much everything tells me there is a segmentation fault. A fresh install fixes the issue but I also loose all the stuff I've done with my previous install. Really annoying and I haven't found a definitive answer as to why this happens.
Oh well.

I'm still in denial that Dropbox did 1.1b$ in 2017, cash flow positive. Do they actually even get big clients? It has to be all enterprise, because I highly doubt any consumer actually purchases a Dropbox plan.

Last week: Resigned from my current job as a front end dev, mostly due to incompetence in upper middle management.

Yesterday: knowledge transfer to backend dev who aspires to become full stack.
"
- So how does the designer deliver the CSS to the code ?
- He doesn't, he just sends the prototype, we make it work...
- The manager told me that the front end team did not touch CSS.
*fuzzy find ". styles"*
- So these are the 40 some files that appeared here magically.'
"

Today:
New git flow policy's in place. Pull requests are now outside the flow and are entirely optional.

This is gonna be the tits...

Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman

I hate when I'm getting in my flow and everything starts clicking, but I have to stop to go do something else. It sucks having something almost completely solved but not having enough time to finish it.

Tupac - Lyric king
Eazy - Gangsta rap
Biggie - Flow king
Eminem - Rhyme king
Dr Dre - beat king
Rick Ross - burger king
Me - COPY/PASTE KING

Coding to the flow of the music. Best sign for a good productive day.

For fucks sake I am such an Idiot at times....

I tried building a watering system for my plants and I forgot that I was using free flow pumps that don't act as valve. So when I turn of the pumps the water keeps flowing, even against gravity because of the pressure difference.

TL;DR: I forgot fcking kindergarten physics today.

Once a fellow dev gave me the advice of always questioning the enhancements and fixes that are asked to be done. She said i should always ask things like is this a legitimate enhancement asked for by the client? Is it really required? Will it alter any existing established flow of our system? Etc.

At least I found this helpful because it saved us a ton of unnecessary work that would later have to be rolled back.

After I went on vacation, I came back to find that my offshore team had refactored a bunch of my code, tripling the size of it and grossly over-complicating the flow... ugh.

When the sales guy decides to strike a conversation and breaks the code flow.

No, I'm not in the mood to talk

I found out about and started using flex recently...

It's like there was this whole beautiful, magnificent city hidden beneath the piece of shit city I've been living in and I fell down a manhole to behold it's radiance.

FUCK YOU FLOATS AND YOUR FUCKING FLOW RUINING BULLSHIT! NO MORE WILL I NEED TO POSITION: ABSOLUTE CHILDREN!

Advice for every frontend dev. SASS and Flex. If nothing else, SASS and Flex.

Here's my flow:

1. Sit at my desk and contemplate the Universe
2. Sort out specifics by pacing back and forward
3. Draw like a mad man
4. Copy an old project and change a few lines of code
5. Go home happy that the Universe is safe once again

;)

I'm really into coding now for half a year. I really love that kinda flow when there pop up no errors and you work yourself through the code writing using trial and error. It's really addicting and the perfect evening.
But here comes my question: There are sometimes unsolvable errors for me (still not figuring out how to use firebase properly 😞). Is this stuff going to be fewer as I advance in coding, or am I just terrible at googling? To other beginners: Do you have often errors to that feel unsolvable for you?

The most frustrating error is logic error. You see no warning or error message. It's just your program doesn't work as expected.

You spend hours inspecting your code, putting var_dump, console.error, print, whatever... in order to figure out what's wrong.

Yet, you still can't find out what's wrong. You decide to take a sleep. And you are waking up while having this uncomfortable feeling in your mind.

And since this is devrant, I'll insert some swearing here:

F*cking dammit node.js... what's wrong with your f*cking logic flow.... non-blocking you said, rotten deep in callback hell damnation you said....

did not expect the stickers would actually arrive! you sent it all the way half of the earth. the stickers earn a deservedly special space on my laptop and phone. Kudos to you devRant!

Clients that call to ask you for the URL to the test environment seem to never have heard of these things called “email” and “text”.

Am I the only one that goes crazy when I have to use a low-code system? It makes no sense to me. The abstractions that help an average schmuck make a feedback loop of abstractions in my brain.

How do I loop over this collection. Is this a collection or a single thing? How does a variable work? Logic doesn't work the same? How do I know what is actually coming into this little port? When does the database get this? Can I see a debug log somewhere? Why can't I see the code behind this little popup window?

I ask someone that isn't a developer and they say, "You are overthinking it."
Fuck that. You pay me to overthink things and describe them in excruciating detail. You wouldn't hand an illustrator three wax crayons and ask them to make a photo-realistic picture.

1. PHP would just die

2. Typescript become more popular than flow and the rest

3. Recruiters would stop assuming nodejs = react dev

Talend and Apache Camel. Because fuck a regular if/else/switch flow. This is WAY clearer!

Reach office early and you know what stack over flow is down god save me it's 15 minutes already some one please up it.

Bad start for monday.

If somebody wants to do something constructive, this kind of website design distracts the flow.....

When the time seems flow more slowly...

Argh, time to drop out of the zone to go stuff calories in my face again. Just hook me up to an IV already and let me make cool shit!

Ps @dfox it'd be cool if we could take a picture to post straight from app.

The best way to describe what I had to do today is I "Channeled Macgyver"... now production is working.

⚪Data wasn't flowing as expected.
⚪Component written by our team was blamed.
⚪Boss asked me to bypass the component so data can flow.

Sure, I can fix that... Give me a car battery, a roll of duck tape and a butter knife. Data will be flowing in production shortly.

FMDL when your equal co developer thinks she's your boss and tried to dictate your work load and flow.

!rant

I spent a few hours making a VS Code plugin to improve my work flow, published it on the marketplace a few days ago so that I can easily install it everywhere. But to my surprise that shit gets about 7 installs a day! I don't get why. I don't have clear instructions on how to use it anywhere.

But hey, I'm not complaining! 😁

Reasons i hate Christmas #147

I have job interview tomorrow (27th) and i my hair looks like bum of a vulture with diarrhea
Near me is at least 15 barbershops.
NOT. A. SINGLE. ONE. OPEN. UNTIL TOMORROW
BECAUSE OF CHRISTMAS
Why the fuck has this holiday of manipulation and lies and misery and shit to have so huge impact on normal flow of life for so many days!

I
HATE
CHRISTMAS

Any devs have to track their time down to 15 minute increments? Do you get used to it? Does it fuck with your flow? Any tools to use to make it easier?

teach meta language concepts: what is an operator, literal, constant, statment, control flow. the recursive nature of staments. then go into objects/methods vs structs/procedures. then teach some java. then go into reflection concepts. then use reflection for something simple. then teach a bit of perl. then let them build something in python. Anyone who can pass through that will know how to Program in whatever you give him/her.
I wish my teachers talked about the meta programing, instead on focusing on the minutia.

Does anyone have that day where you just can't get into the flow and you wander around doing random stuff but nothing changes?

How do you get your mojo back?

Only got 2h of sleep instead of my usual 5h. I'm a walking corpse and there are still 7h left until I can go home 😴

Stupid, calming water-flow sounds are going to bring me down

What is this? A flow chart for learning how algorithms work?
Nope! I call it: dynamic timetable 😎

So, I have a coding task that takes several days to complete. How can I pick up the next day where I left off the night before? I find it difficult to get straight back into the flow because I first have to find my way around the previous day's code. Any tips?

So my senior visited some of my very old code today to make some changes on his own, then asked me to explain flow since he wasn't understanding it.

Me after looking at code for 2 minutes:
"When I was writing this, only God and I knew what it meant. Now, only God does."

Writing my code, go to run it and boom its not working. I pull up stack over flow to get some insight. At this point i was working on my code for countless hours and became a bit annoyed so i decided to copy what someone wrote on stack over flow delete my code where i thought it was flawed. I run it and Blam bugged the hell outa my code. So i undo go back to my original. Turn to a friend and ask what do you thinks going wrong. He resets my browser and there it goes it works. I just kind of gave him a blank stare and thought to myself Im a dumbass!

I have been working with git for years now, and I could never work on a project (regardless if big or small) without it. Its great.
However, just a couple of days ago I learned about the git flow branching model.
Even tho I also worked with branching on a daily basis for years, I did not know about this model. And I have to admit: Its awesome.
If you don't know it, I highly recommend you to look it up. It really improves the already organized workflow with git even more. :)

Vue is amazing at all but fuck...never try to create some kind of layer on top of it or use external events inside. It is hell, trust me. I hate myself so much now. Shieet.
Now I am crying here with fucked up data flow and such complex hard to debug creature...

One thing that I hate more than anything else in what I do: Waiting

Whether it is compiling, training, loading, IDE indexing or building I just despise it. It gets me out of my flow and forces me to be bored and often unable to do anything else because my pc is busy

Jesus, I'm SO fed up with this mindless application of CRUD. This application would literally be less than half its current size if we weren't implementing crud for fucking broken device reports and repair offers, stuff that should have many states, a create action strictly bound to a user type and view/field wise edit phases bound to a state-usertype pair.

Why is it that every god damned time, i ask questions until i have a clear view of a clients project and flow. I present them this flow. They OK it and everything. I build said flow in an app. And then at the end of the line i always end up with a shit codebase because i designed it to be like the documented flow, but changes were being added (and obviously paid for) all the time. I made such a neat little app. And now it all gone to shit.

Is this just me? Am i that bad at programming or what?!

Stop changing half of the app functionality after the original design is created!

So I just spent a 7 fucking hours recreating a feature just to find out that I already did it once. Don't forget to checkout the correct branch fellas.

When you catch developers rolling out untested changes to production that have a huge impact on your clients workflow... And they don't tell anyone so you find out because your clients are yelling on the phone about some change affecting their work flow.

Every time I see a set of stickers arrive in a far off country (just saw Kenya!? What!?) it makes me really happy. Spread the angry developer nerd rage. Let it flow through you.

Experienced programmer:
Code works in head; code almost works in computer; code never works with client.
Beginner programmer:
Code almost works in head; code never works in computer; code will never work with client.
Long story short: it's hard to begin but when you let the code flow, you became a programmer

PSA: If you do reverse proxying stuff, prefer unix domain sockets over localhost internet sockets, if it's on the same machine (and if it's forwarded over ssh too). You can even serve HTTP as a unix socket.

Unix domain sockets don't have the overhead of IP, so generally speaking, data will flow to your other process with much less overhead.

I've recently stopped being lazy at this, and it's worth it.

Family: why are you always so grouchy and grumpy
Me: because you make me get up when I'm in the flow of coding/studying
Family: oh sorry we understand we'll try not to do that again

Skip to 30 mins later when they repeat the same stuff and offer a cup of tea or coffee... as if just one cup of tea/coffee will do the trick.

I want to be productive, stop giving me this hunger and sleepy debuff.

Douche body, totally killing my flow

* Developing a new "My pages" NBV offer/order solution for customer
_Thursday
Customer: Are we ready for testing?
Me: Almost, we need to receive the SSL cert and then do a full test run to see if your sales services get the orders correctly. At this point, all orders made via this flow are tagged so they will not be sent to the Sales services. We also still need to implement the tracking to see who has been exposed to what in My Pages.
Customer: Ok, great!

_Friday
Customer: My web team needs these customers to have fake offers on them, to validate the layout and content
Me: Ok, my colleague can fix this by Tuesday - he has all the other things with higher prio from you to complete first
Customer: Ok! Good!

_Sunday
Me: Good news, got the SSL cert installed and have verified the flow from my side. Now you need to verify the full flow from your side.
Customer: Ok! Great! Will do.

_Monday
*quiet*

_Tuesday
Customer: Can you see how things are going? Any good news?
Me: ???
*looks into the system*
WTF!?!
- Have you set this into production on your side? We are not finished with the implementation on our side!
Customer: Oh, sorry - well, it looked fine when we tested with the test links you sent (3 weeks ago)
Me: But did you make a complete test run, and make sure that Sales services got the order?
Customer: Oh, no they didn't receive anything - but we thought that was just because of it being a test link
Me: Seriously - you didn't read what i wrote last Thursday?
Customer: ...
Me: Ok, so what happens if something goes wrong - who get's blamed?
Customer: ...
Me: FML!!!

Typical Git work flow on a feature branch:

Commit#1 : The silly feature itself that took 10 minutes to code
Commit#2 : Added unsaved files
Commit#3 : Fix unit tests
Commit#4 : Fix
Commit#5 : Fix
Commit#6 : Fix
Commit#7 : Various Fix
Commit#8 : Added unsaved files
Commit#9 : Merge
Commit#10 : Fixed unit tests
Commit#11 : Code Review tasks
Commit#12 : Revert- Code Review tasks
Commit#13: Refactor part 1
Commit#14: Refactor part 2
Commit#15: Deleted unit tests
Commit#16: Added checking for null
Commit#17: Completely different feature's bugfix
Commit#18: Code review spacing corrections
*Approved*

Trying to merge, then merge conflicts.....

Clients that want to tell a programmer the logic flow of their program:

if x > y, "A" happens
if x < y, "B" happens

WHAT OF THEY ARE EQUAL?!?!?

In my previous rant:
Last week I resigned, in the meantime they've completely reworked the git flow process and made PR's optional, among other stuff.

Today: "Architects" ask that we stop creating tags. We're replacing release tags with release branches.

I feel dirty only for imagining having to do a "git checkout -b "v1.2.3".

Good times :)

PM keeps inviting me to meetings so I can see the process flow he created and bask in his greatness... :-/

Ahh, that increadible feeling when I start typing to the rythm of music. Especially fast math rock.

Listening to "And so I watch you from afar" right now, it's almost like I'm part of the band 😅

During an interview, how to detect if a company has a dysfunctional flow of development? What good questions to ask?

Like things are scattered all over and there's no standard being followed, no architecture, no code reviews, everything is a patchy magic, no testing, and everything is just on fire! How to avoid such companies?

you literally change about 80% of your business flow then demand new features/modules for literally at least once every 3 months, then you are angry why your 2 underpaid, overworked programmers can't catch up.

When someone interrupts your flow

What (music) are you listening to at work?
Most of the time I need music to get in a kind of flow during coding.
Sometimes I listen to some podcasts or have a documentary running.
Fortunately, my bosses are quite tolerant.

Bunch of freelancers invented new Git flow 😂🤣

My company insists on working in one production environment to save time and every time I try to convince them to set up a work flow with a dev and test environment, they tell me we don't have the time...

Even after I set one up anyway as I'm scared shitless to touch production. They tell me it's faster doing it all in one environment.

They launch an update. Site buggy as hell and doesn't load 90% of the content...

Sigh....

C# is getting so fucking obfuscated with these null check inceptions. Found the following in my company's code base. Why did it take me and 3 other devs an hour to figure out how to write this if statement into a flowchart?

if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? b[0]?.Id))...😫😫😫

FYI: We figured it and also found some bugs with logic, but can you? I'll post our flowchart if ranters are interested.

So to add to the madness:
if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? (b?.Any() ? b[0].Id : null)))...🤯🤯🤯

I've been working on this personal project, it has a, for lack of a better word, "interesting" work flow. I'm trying to make a program similar to Netflix, here's the way it works.
I have an html page with a video, and a black background, I use the webview plugin for fusion, which acts as a mini web browser, it's programmed to load the test.html file, which the test.html file than loads the video, then I build a gui connected to it in different frames. It's odd, yes, but it does the job done.

Typescript is like a condom that has sideways with passages to flow the stuff ! Which is basically a bloody condom with hole ! WTF 😑 .ts to .js !

You just want whole bloody damn Java to be implemented at client side ..😣 God bless us .. Hate u Angular ... I loved you like hell now u hokkin up with this hoe ...
Hail JavaScript !

Tbh this is more about education in general... Introduce the same system i had, no fixed lessons just a project and a time frame. Eg : create your own MVC framework and a site to show it off

Time frame : 5 weeks

(dont expect fully fletched frameworks but a site that uses the MVC data flow and the code is reusable)

CATCH2 PLEASE DO YOU FUCKING WORK.

I HAD TO REWRITE MY FUCKING THING TWO TIMES BECAUSE YOU FUCKING RUN MY TEST CASES WEIRDLY THUS MAKING MY THINGY NOT WORK

Do you ever just have a hundred different people asking you a hundred different questions about a hundred different things at a hundred different times of the day?

Fuck man I can't get ANYTHING done, and all my answers to people feel inadequate (quantity over quality). Maybe I shouldn't have decided to help work on so many different codebases.

The work. I just like the flow

Thought : God the Programmer

Life is huge bunch of programming code written by God. Where the flow of control depends on how you resolve conditions.

Read everything and by looking at the source code by example, changing stuff and seeing what happens, reading tutorials, books, watching videos. Then coming up with an idea I want to do that doesn't seem too difficult but gradually building up knowledge of commands, memory, input and output, variable types and manipulation of said types, learning program flow and control and making stuff one project at a time.

After so many bad days, I finally had a day being in flow.

Rad day!

Hi fellow devs!

As a developer it is a crucial to be productive. Obviously the most effecient way is to get in the flow.
What is your rituale to reach this state?

Snartsheet requires checkbox values of "true" or "false"

Microsoft Flow only passes booleans as "True" and "False" so the API rejects the data.

Google OAuth docs is such a pain to read... I have implemented OAuth multiple times and understand the flow. Its never been a problem, but man, their docs is such a pain to read.

Their Java client library is also painful. Its needlessly complex that I just ended up implement good old HTTP rest to handle it.

Just finished making an ER diagram for the 5th time now.
It was less painful this time. (Thanks draw.io)

(About the 4th ER diagram - le professor says "It looks like a flow chart, that's not right", but it's clearly not?)

I'll have to submit the draft tomorrow to the professor, I just hope that he green lights it so I could finalize the project report.

I hate making ER diagrams now.

It's the small things in life that can make my day.

Was pretty bummed out due to a shitty day at work today, no one was to blame for it but me just not getting in a good flow.

On my way home I learned that devRant also has a Facebook so ofcourse I went to check it out.

After a bit of scrolling I noticed one of my rants got featured. I know it's a trivial thing but really made my day. Thanks guys ❤️

That moment when you insist on finishing something but thoughts just won't flow anymore.

Time to retreat after a long blank stare at the screen...

"The control which designers know in the print medium, and often desire in the web medium, is simply a function of the limitation of the printed page. We should embrace the fact that the web doesn’t have the same constraints, and design for this flexibility. But first, we must 'accept the ebb and flow of things.'" - John Allsopp

So I've been back to work for 2 weeks after going on a holiday. Getting back into the flow of things was easy, but seeing the status of the project that I am a part of, and seeing the kind of implementation work that my co-workers has done, it's kind of a no surprise.

So the past 2 weeks I've been completing features that I left my co-workers to finish, but didn't. And rewriting other features that they worked on, but does not meet the specifications.

Will I ever be able to work with reliable/competent developers?

"hey guys look at soeedtest beta!"

[looks at them with a smirk]

"Hey, you should try it!"

[Shows my custom speedtest instance]

Me: "I had this weeks before you guys caught with the flow"

yeah new speedtest is awesome but a custom speedtest is even more awesome

And now even the meetings I am not invited to are interrupting my work flow. Seriously. I need to collaborate with two people, one of whom is the SME for the piece of code I am working in who just got back from vacation, which he left on after breaking his algorithm because apparently due dilligence is lost on this guy. My other collaborator and I have been fighting this fire for two days. And they both get whisked off into another meeting before I can get ANY information out of any of them. But sure. We're only in a day by day schedule slip. With customers depending on our delivery in order to test their project. I am not work it OT for these fuckers because they decided that having a meeting is more important than. Delivering a damn reliable product.

"hey, can you please help me out with this, it isn't working"

"What's it say?"

"I dunno, It's giving (not throwing) some exception/error" (no clear distinction between them)

Well, shit. Did NOT expect Java to do that in case of some undesirable flow in code! Stack trace, error message, what was happening when the exception (or actual error) occurred as inferred from logs... Nope.

Great!

Coding is like handwriting.

Code review is about having a common understanding of the big picture and ensure be features follow the general architecture and process flow.

Code review is not about nitpicking on FUCKING TRAILING WHITEFUCKINGSPACES , lower case vs upper case SQL statements, extra empty lines AND EVERY FUCKING MINOR DETAIL you can imagine

My best days are when I have a great flow going and I'm working on a project. Those are the days when I look up from my screen to get the time and it's already time to pack up and head home.

Had an idea for a Webb app tonight that I could use to test some new things out. Didn't get round to the new things but 3 hours later I do have my IDE set up, quarter of a billion npm modules and a gulp flow so complicated it feels like the file system is a rubicks cube...

My best friend has been working to learn python and I guess he hasn't see control flow statements.

The problem is we have a girl name "elif" in Turkish and it's his ex's name (+4 yrs, bad ending)

What should I do :D

I *PAY* DI.fm to listen to music while programming and they still cut me off after 4h every fucking day completely destroying my programming flow inflicting damage way way worse than the meager 9$ or whatever the shit is I pay them for the "PRO" "Premium level" "service". ffs

Procrastination is not a bad thing as opposed to how society describes it. It's where ideas and new strategies are invented. Of course if you procrastinate all day then it may be an issue of not getting things done, but fighting it all the time does not help.

The mind is trying to tell you something, let it flow.

Steve Jobs said that you gotta love what you do. He basically was strong advocate of the flow state.

May the code of this universe flow through my brain *wakesup* good morning brothers .........

After a week of working days of testing and development, the new feature finally finished. But my boss wasn't satisfied with the flow so he sent a revision.

After finished with revision, he still not satisfied with it and then sent another revision. This happened 3 times in a week after completing task before any revision and this week comes the fourth with some vague businesses flow. I feel like I don't have value anymore in this company.

After 8years+ on stackover flow, I do have my "informed" barge(which I got the day I signed up) and a reputation of 10pts.
I wonder how these guys with countless points got them.

Just lost two clients who were on retainer. Startup suddenly with cash flow problems.
I'm not sure what to do to fix this.
☹️

GIT, doesn't matter how good your IDE is if your work flow and backup system is shit

A whole week for "a new ecommerce system" delivered shortly after the MD declare how simple it would be with some hybrid pseudo code/flow chart on their magic whiteboard.

Words were had.

Working with at a web dev job with a guy who is a really great programmer, the problem I have is I'm dyslexic and remember code is pretty hard for me but when I get in the flow I can do things. Him on the other hand is a machine, reads something and can implement it immediately. Do you guys have any tips on how to do better? I don't want to look like a complete noon.

I hope that when I wake up in the morning, the racket code I just wrote from midnight to 3am makes as much sense to me as it does at the time of writing.

Banana Language always seems to flow easier when exhausted.

Its 6 in the morning. I've been unmotivated to program since my highschool graduation. And I just felt some inspiration flow to me but at the same time crippling self doubt followed. I have projects planned but my lack of skill stops me and its passing me off because I'm already wasting my life. And I'm thinking of getting an IT job to start off since I have the experience from school but I'm deathly afraid I'll lose the touch I've started to get. Idk thanks if anyone bothered clicking and reading this rant.. theres no one else I can talk to about this stuff..

I to myself:
"I do not really need to add type annotations here, it is just the small coding part of my thesis!"
(about 500 LOC)

Later...
"Hmm, lets just activate flow and get the typedefs of some packages from flowtyped..."

Found 5 Errors!

Dang!

Worked from 09:00-00.00+ every day for 6 days straight, then for about 4 hours that Sunday (including over public holidays which were that week).

Clients agreed release date based on some interviews with publications, which meant the previous target date was moved up 2 weeks as they were pushing marketing for this new date.

Aside from having to implement a new 3rd party API which touched ~35% of the system there was a lot more that needed to be finished before release (including an entire user flow that was at the mercy of a 3rd party).

Safe to say I took a day or two off the week after.

Adobe XD is the newest terrible child of the idea that you can design "user experience." What a waste of time. How many more middle-men do we need in this work flow?

A remote team decided to annoy me by trying to hold me accountable to their project plan timelines while not delivering a viable API. So, I code reviewed them.

NOT ONE FUCKING TEST! They are "meeting the date" and will "fix it later".

They beat me to production though.

No wonder they argued that a complicated, fragile, expensive, multi-product flow test was absolutely required.

I returned the escalation favor.

**18 fuckin hours with full concentration on this Friday starting from 9:30 AM**

I'd developed a big feature for this release and it was being tested by QA guys.

There was this fuckin QA who raised a bug on Friday morning saying that one of the work flow is not working as expected. I debugged it in various scenarios including the one suggested by that dick head but I couldn't reproduce it.

On stating that, QA got pissed and told me that I've not developed it correctly. *Yeah fuck head now you are telling me*

My lead asked me to make some changes in the flow and then check. Did that but no luck.

Finally at 3AM on Saturday, this fuckin nut job QA mails me saying that he was giving in WRONG Inputs 😡

Yeah. It was that bad!