I found a solid solution for clickbaiting!

You just have to:
... [read more]

I made a ridicously hilarious hack recently. My refrigerator it's broken, it has a huge leak of water, my hack was to let the water flow in a plastic box and make a circuit with two water level sensors, a relay and a PIC16F628A to activate a pump that sucks water away through a tube that I wedged intlside the gasket of the washbasin. This gave me the time to buy a newer and better one.

Headphones on = I'm in a flow. Leave me the fuck alone.

WannaCry Ransomware Execution flow..

Merry Gitmas! 🎄🎉

Lets all stop and take a moment to thank Stackoverflow for our jobs...

So keep things simple and use flow diagrams

If you disrupt my working flow and you're not

1) On fire.
2) About to explode.
3) You're dog is dead(dogs are the shit)
4) Snoop dog is in the building

Then you're a cunt.

*boots computer*
*login screen appears*
*enters password*
*windows says "Welcome"*
*You have entered wrong password*

Are you fucking serious? Can't you even handle simple login flow? Why the fuck you display welcome screen before validating my fucking password? What the FUCK

I can't believe that something I threw together in an afternoon to make my work flow better turned into something people actually use! People are opening issues and suggesting things. Never thought it would get over 2.5k downloads! 😮

I sometimes write code by first putting comments and then writing the code.
Example
#fetch data
#apply optimization
#send data back to server
Then i put the code in-between the comments so that i can understand the flow.
Anyone else has this habit?

When you start smiling at rants all the time and your family and friends think you got a new girlfriend

A flow chart to live by

90s devs: "Did you know about GOTO/CONTINUE for control flow? it's so convenient and powerful!"

00s devs: "GOTO is an antipattern. But did you know about try/catch? You can use it for control flow, just write a lot of exception classes, it's so powerful!"

10s devs: "Using exception blocks for generic control flow is an antipattern. But have you heard about event listeners and observer patterns? It's so powerful!"

Developers are so good at repackaging and reselling square wheels by giving them fresh, impressive sounding names.

😡

I misclicked an nsfw channel on discord and I got a dialog asking my age. I wasn't interested in loading the channel and you cannot close this dialog - it even reappears if you restart the app because the channel will still be selected.

I input 0 years just to cancel, which lead to an instant account ban and an email about scheduled deletion. In order to retain my account I need to send in selfies of myself holding my ID.

That's... a surprising user flow from a misclick. May I suggest a little x in the corner, as we professionals call it.

I often find myself as the poor bastard.

Finding the bug. The usual flow:
"Omg! I think it's a bug in the compiler"
10 minutes later:
"OK, it surely is a bug in the runtime"
20 minutes later:
"I'm certain this is a bug in the core library"
2 hours later:
"Oh, it's a bug in my code. Again, as usual, I'm the idiot. Stupid world."

> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~

roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla

(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!

I hate when people do this.

True story. During meeting, our manager asked us, how the data flow. Our lead programmer response, "PHP will produce Son of Jay output, and read by Javascript".

Our manager; "Hmm... Interesting"

Every day in the office kitchen I find bottles of milk open and left out, in the fridge with no date, and empties everywhere. Yesterday I found 11 open and partially used bottles of milk. I’ve designed this flow chart to help educate people (in a way developers can understand) on how to manage milk which is apparently a real challenge for some.

Had a fun little conversation with a potential employer...

Him: We use git for version control. To work with our team you'll be expected to do the same and be proficient at it.

Me: Not a problem. I am well versed with all things git! May I ask, what does your work flow look like?

Him: All of our source lives in a single repo and everyone commits straight to master.

Me: 😐...

Him: Conflicts will not be tolerated.

Past 8 month summarized in one picture 🥰

Let the hate flow through you!

My boss was getting upset about me not letting him know where I was. So I created a flow that would email him automatically if I was in the office or not by a certain time.

Code-flow and algorithms are just meaningful doodles, you know 😁

Stairway to the Masterbranch

TLDR: Fuck you, Client A

1. Want to change the business flow during UAT and decide the deadline to be less than 4 weeks, even though that's how the business flow stated on the docs
2. He threatening us not to pay if it isn't done, even though he's not the one paying us
3. He said time isn't a problem because he can provide a table and chair that is put in front of his table

Fuck you, Client A

The awkwardly embarrassing moment when you realise your junior, a fresher out of college, knows more than you... Shittt... Why kids are so fucking smart these days!!! I'm looking for a place where I can go and just hide from the world. If you know one, please help.

That feeling when you finally get confirmation that you got the position you've been waiting for at work, AND get a higher salary than you actually asked for. By quite a lot.

Oh no, oooooh nononono
they dont delete the branches after a pull request

232 branches? hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhno
and look at that naming

im intimidated, i dont want to work in this environment. No. NO!

PM: What are you going to do today?

Expected-
Me: execute some junits.

Actual-
Me: execute some joints.

Sad auto corrects, flow keyboards.

Once a day, take some time to read your colleagues' commits.

You will see how they work, you will learn how they solve problems, you will understand their flow and you will know more and more parts of the code base.

When you've been working for ages and are desperate for a pee, but you've just had a major breakthrough and code is pouring off your fingers like honey, and you don't want to stop because it will break the flow.

Was coding and tired as hell, my light in the room blew this week and I haven't got around to replacing it - the darkness is not exactly that exciting.

Pressed a wrong button by accident, lo and behold my laptop has a backlit keyboard. I had no idea that it had this. Blew my fucking mind (I have never had the time to just sit and look at the function keys - I suppose that is one downside to never having to look at the keyboard when one types).

A new flow of inspiration came upon me, I opened up VSCode and put on some Pantera.

Code beware, I'm fucking hostile.

FOR FUCKS SAKE, CLEAN YOUR KEYBOARD!

Today we had some presentations on a class, I was near the projector, so I volunteered to control the presentation flow.

Fast forward three teams, arrives this guy, lets his laptop and and I open it... SMELLS, FUCKING SMELLS BAD. Add to that grease and dirt all over the keyboard... I just pressed the right arrow key with the bare tip of my finger...

It's not that hard to keep your workstation clean. Most of all, odourless.

True story... sadly....

I couldn't care less for aggressive 20 year old devs opinions.

Everytime I see a post where someone is being an asshole making strong comments about software, I'm like "oh, how cute, he's trying to be taken seriously by insulting others".

Then I check history and it's just a flow of hateful comments and memes...

(I do mind respectful and humble 20 year olds though)

Holy fuck this new GitHub feature is amazing!!!
It's called GitHub Actions and you can easy automate your work flow using a simple graphical editor!
I need to test this out right fucking now!

While coding, I always listen to music. After a while, if I skip a song I know it's time for a break. The flow has been interrupted

FOR FUCK SAKE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND !!!!
Been working on an app at work for 9 months and now PM tells me customer wants to change flow of the app!!!

Kill me please ASAP!

Let's have some puntastic cheesy coding pickup lines in the comments 🌝 " are you github ? I've always wanted to commit to you " that's my take .. ( and I know it's bad ) let the creativity flow :)

B - Ok guys, here we are to decide who's gonna do what.
What part of the app needs to be developed
P1 - The UX
P2 - The Statistics
P3 - The calls to the server
Me - The flow of work

B - Uhm, right, well scratch that, I'm gonna need you to make a website for a costumer.

Me - But this app is due to the next two weeks!!

B - I'm sure you'll manage.

You know how we all get frustrated with new clients who don't provide enough information or detailed background of what the last dev did or tried?

Careful what you wish for. Just took on a new client who has sent 3 separate Word docs, all organized and color coded and fully detailed with the website's life history. All 24 pages of it.

We are supposed to fix the checkout flow and organize the download directory. That's all.

yeah I actually forgot to thank stackover flow from what I am now. Thank you Stackoverflow

credits on the owner of the photo.

Neural Network Stones
Credits: Mritunjay

I see posts about automating your work flow, but if your aim is to save time by automation consult this handy chart

damn its really hard to get back in the flow after not touching any work for 2 weeks

Just finished a 18 hour coding day (It‘s 5:30am here). I just realized that coding is one of the few things I really get in the zone (flow state). It‘s so awesome how I can forget everything around me and be 100% focused on what I‘m doing. And the best thing: I really feel relaxed now.

"The new platform is launching tomorrow. Get the most perfect first time user experience and registration flow. Don't leave until it's done."
Exactly one year later: "We are finally about to launch the new platform"

#machinelearning #ml #datascience #tensorflow #pytorch #matrices #ds

Pen and paper. I fill notebooks with pseudocode and flow charts before ever touching a keyboard.

That moment when you enter the elusive state of mind where you're getting serious shit done aannnnnnnddd you're interrupted. FUCK!

What my IDE says: "Method 'foo' is too complex to analyze by data flow algorithm".
What it means: "Your code is shit and I just give up at trying to understand it".

Client:we want dynamic mapping of network and packet flow visualization like;packet tracer simulation
Us: is 2D visualization enough.
Client:yeah
*fast forward after first demo*
Client: now make it 3D with pipes representing cable.and packets flowing through them like water.
Me: fucccccck

Embarrassing moment day 2.

I push a fix for a bug just to introduce another more severe bug. (Checkout after payment hanged ~15s)

Freaking out because it's on production. Turn to my lead for guidance, he writes back idk you fix it, you created it.

Found the issue extended from improper class that a function was called again and again that caused a recursive flow.

Fuck me this is a bad week

I want to know what brings you Joy while programming/coding?

I've been trying to catch that certain feeling...

For me it's having everything make sense and a logical flow through the code and it works every if it is adding two vars.

And please definitely not the money if you're coding for money then you're not enjoying it.

I'm sick to death of hiring people from other companies and explaining GitFlow and why its useful (what are you people doing?).

Then watching them doing it wrong, pointing out its easier to use something like sourcetree. Which leads to "... well see, the terminal is just more efficient, tools like sourcetree are bloated".

Ok fair enough, well heres the deal i'll make with you, while using your "efficient tool", stop breaking our workflow and i'm fine for you to keep using it. Otherwise, stop being a dick and be a team player.

When you're a hardcore web developer, the only 'action' you .get() is when you're writing a login form scraper for your three-legged oauth flow in Python

Observation

Usually happens when hitting some heavy development after waking up to an idea at 5am and rushing in to the office to make it happen. Then you write for hours straight refilling some coffee once in a while.

At some point you start finding other people at the coffee station and the smalltalk starts. For some reason I can't turn my brain into social mode. Someone asks me stuff like "How was your weekend?" And the answer can be anything between "I like turtles" and some totally uninhibited and unintended truth in the TIM category.

Flow is strong but it totally fucks up my social capabilities. It also makes me happy =D

when a feature is flagged as emergency but the app is barely used by the company.

Jarvis Flow

Deleted accounts could have a skeleton/corpse as the picture.

Adding "no offense" in the tags just to be a bit polite.

Suprise, my first ocr neural net got 96% accurate on the first 20000 step training run wooo

Actually got these tips today:
1. Write code so clean that it won't need commenting.
2. UML and other flow charts and graphs are very important.

PROGRAMMING AS AN INTELLECTUAL ACTIVITY IS THE ONLY ART FORM THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CREATE INTERACTIVE ART. 🎨
YOU CAN CREATE PROJECTS THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN PLAY WITH, AND YOU CAN TALK TO THEM INDIRECTLY. 💬
NO OTHER ART FORM IS QUITE THIS INTERACTIVE. 💕
MOVIES FLOW TO THE AUDIENCE IN ONE DIRECTION. ⏩
PAINTINGS DO NOT MOVE.🖼
CODE GOES BOTH WAYS. ↔

- ZED SHAW

Bringing up some new task as a priority when you are in a flow.

If I cut my wrists it would flow and sprinkle too much thick and hot italian coffee instead of the blood.

When you reach that point, that level -- a coding apex, and the universe has found you. That feeling as you code, where the ideas, the advanced concepts, they flow out of your mind like beautiful and wonderful poetry. And you smile, because all is well, and you have created something beautiful in a world that needs more beauty. Also, it's lunchtime.

I'm surprised how much work I got done today. Was working in a cafe with my girlfriend. So productive.

Then I get home and think I'll continue the flow but here I am.....Just being a potato

Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman

Sounds like Flow indeed

Tips for a good rant:
- Don't think about it, just lets the words flow.
How to write a good rant:
- start coding

Anyone that tries to solve my Stackover flow question, gets down voted 😂 What's worst, I got down voted after 20mins. Worst, it can't be solved! Fuck! Guess no sleeps tonight

Just because I have not written any code yet, does not mean I have not started on your project. I can either plan it well or let the code flow from my fingers like diarrhea.

!rant

I’m a backend - spaghetti - developer, and today i took the biggest mindfuck in my life when i found out that it’s possible to have functional mockups... at first glance i tought that i’ve only received a screenshot collection of what the designer did... guess what... i was able to click lè buttons and go trough the whole application flow.

Thanks Adobe for xD ...
I should get a freakin designer job.

Last week: Resigned from my current job as a front end dev, mostly due to incompetence in upper middle management.

Yesterday: knowledge transfer to backend dev who aspires to become full stack.
"
- So how does the designer deliver the CSS to the code ?
- He doesn't, he just sends the prototype, we make it work...
- The manager told me that the front end team did not touch CSS.
*fuzzy find ". styles"*
- So these are the 40 some files that appeared here magically.'
"

Today:
New git flow policy's in place. Pull requests are now outside the flow and are entirely optional.

This is gonna be the tits...

I hate when I'm getting in my flow and everything starts clicking, but I have to stop to go do something else. It sucks having something almost completely solved but not having enough time to finish it.

I'm still in denial that Dropbox did 1.1b$ in 2017, cash flow positive. Do they actually even get big clients? It has to be all enterprise, because I highly doubt any consumer actually purchases a Dropbox plan.

When friends ask you how much a complicated app cost. 20 to 50k on the low end. The mouths drop to the flow and give up on their great idea

For fucks sake I am such an Idiot at times....

I tried building a watering system for my plants and I forgot that I was using free flow pumps that don't act as valve. So when I turn of the pumps the water keeps flowing, even against gravity because of the pressure difference.

TL;DR: I forgot fcking kindergarten physics today.

Coding to the flow of the music. Best sign for a good productive day.

Tupac - Lyric king
Eazy - Gangsta rap
Biggie - Flow king
Eminem - Rhyme king
Dr Dre - beat king
Rick Ross - burger king
Me - COPY/PASTE KING

Once a fellow dev gave me the advice of always questioning the enhancements and fixes that are asked to be done. She said i should always ask things like is this a legitimate enhancement asked for by the client? Is it really required? Will it alter any existing established flow of our system? Etc.

At least I found this helpful because it saved us a ton of unnecessary work that would later have to be rolled back.

Clients that call to ask you for the URL to the test environment seem to never have heard of these things called “email” and “text”.

The most frustrating error is logic error. You see no warning or error message. It's just your program doesn't work as expected.

You spend hours inspecting your code, putting var_dump, console.error, print, whatever... in order to figure out what's wrong.

Yet, you still can't find out what's wrong. You decide to take a sleep. And you are waking up while having this uncomfortable feeling in your mind.

And since this is devrant, I'll insert some swearing here:

F*cking dammit node.js... what's wrong with your f*cking logic flow.... non-blocking you said, rotten deep in callback hell damnation you said....

Here's my flow:

1. Sit at my desk and contemplate the Universe
2. Sort out specifics by pacing back and forward
3. Draw like a mad man
4. Copy an old project and change a few lines of code
5. Go home happy that the Universe is safe once again

;)

When the sales guy decides to strike a conversation and breaks the code flow.

No, I'm not in the mood to talk

Android flow I’ve found(fixed in android 8, working on 7.1.1):
To make app uninstallable by the normal user make the app device administrator, add “android.permission.SYSTEM_ALERT_WINDOW” to the manifest and make sure it’s not granted by the user.
Now when you try to uninstall the app, it tells you to disable it from device administrators but the device administrator disable dialog is System Window handled by the app itself and if the app has this permission but not granted, settings will crash with SecurityException leaving the app untouched.

After I went on vacation, I came back to find that my offshore team had refactored a bunch of my code, tripling the size of it and grossly over-complicating the flow... ugh.

did not expect the stickers would actually arrive! you sent it all the way half of the earth. the stickers earn a deservedly special space on my laptop and phone. Kudos to you devRant!

Work thrives best when there is a stable flow of calm energy. Code a little, relax a little. Stress does little for productivity, from my point of view.

If somebody wants to do something constructive, this kind of website design distracts the flow.....

Talend and Apache Camel. Because fuck a regular if/else/switch flow. This is WAY clearer!

When the time seems flow more slowly...

1. PHP would just die

2. Typescript become more popular than flow and the rest

3. Recruiters would stop assuming nodejs = react dev

Reach office early and you know what stack over flow is down god save me it's 15 minutes already some one please up it.

Bad start for monday.

So, I have a coding task that takes several days to complete. How can I pick up the next day where I left off the night before? I find it difficult to get straight back into the flow because I first have to find my way around the previous day's code. Any tips?

Writing my code, go to run it and boom its not working. I pull up stack over flow to get some insight. At this point i was working on my code for countless hours and became a bit annoyed so i decided to copy what someone wrote on stack over flow delete my code where i thought it was flawed. I run it and Blam bugged the hell outa my code. So i undo go back to my original. Turn to a friend and ask what do you thinks going wrong. He resets my browser and there it goes it works. I just kind of gave him a blank stare and thought to myself Im a dumbass!

Does anyone have that day where you just can't get into the flow and you wander around doing random stuff but nothing changes?

How do you get your mojo back?

When you see your calendar isn't filled with useless huddles and stand-up meets, which have no purpose except distracting and disrupting your flow and focus.

That's how! 😡

Argh, time to drop out of the zone to go stuff calories in my face again. Just hook me up to an IV already and let me make cool shit!

Ps @dfox it'd be cool if we could take a picture to post straight from app.

Only got 2h of sleep instead of my usual 5h. I'm a walking corpse and there are still 7h left until I can go home 😴

Stupid, calming water-flow sounds are going to bring me down

Anyone draw out the logic of a process by hand before coding much?

I've been doing that more and more, and it's handy but ... it's also kinda tedious making them on paper or even just in the VS Code extensions I've tried.

I'd really like a way to bust out quick flow charts in VSCode and there's a Draw.io add on and it's ok but lotta fidgeting with flow chats and dragging stuff.

It doesn't have to be pretty and it doesn't have to be super feature rich.... just want to quick bust out a series of steps flow chart style or ... hell any way fast and visual like.

Anyone use anything they really like?

!rant

I spent a few hours making a VS Code plugin to improve my work flow, published it on the marketplace a few days ago so that I can easily install it everywhere. But to my surprise that shit gets about 7 installs a day! I don't get why. I don't have clear instructions on how to use it anywhere.

But hey, I'm not complaining! 😁

Am I the only one that goes crazy when I have to use a low-code system? It makes no sense to me. The abstractions that help an average schmuck make a feedback loop of abstractions in my brain.

How do I loop over this collection. Is this a collection or a single thing? How does a variable work? Logic doesn't work the same? How do I know what is actually coming into this little port? When does the database get this? Can I see a debug log somewhere? Why can't I see the code behind this little popup window?

I ask someone that isn't a developer and they say, "You are overthinking it."
Fuck that. You pay me to overthink things and describe them in excruciating detail. You wouldn't hand an illustrator three wax crayons and ask them to make a photo-realistic picture.

The best way to describe what I had to do today is I "Channeled Macgyver"... now production is working.

⚪Data wasn't flowing as expected.
⚪Component written by our team was blamed.
⚪Boss asked me to bypass the component so data can flow.

Sure, I can fix that... Give me a car battery, a roll of duck tape and a butter knife. Data will be flowing in production shortly.

Reasons i hate Christmas #147

I have job interview tomorrow (27th) and i my hair looks like bum of a vulture with diarrhea
Near me is at least 15 barbershops.
NOT. A. SINGLE. ONE. OPEN. UNTIL TOMORROW
BECAUSE OF CHRISTMAS
Why the fuck has this holiday of manipulation and lies and misery and shit to have so huge impact on normal flow of life for so many days!

I
HATE
CHRISTMAS

So my senior visited some of my very old code today to make some changes on his own, then asked me to explain flow since he wasn't understanding it.

Me after looking at code for 2 minutes:
"When I was writing this, only God and I knew what it meant. Now, only God does."

FMDL when your equal co developer thinks she's your boss and tried to dictate your work load and flow.

What is this? A flow chart for learning how algorithms work?
Nope! I call it: dynamic timetable 😎

incompetent fucks giving no shit about agreed git flow

merging directly to master
complaining about conflicts and not willing to solve it themselves

Why is it that every god damned time, i ask questions until i have a clear view of a clients project and flow. I present them this flow. They OK it and everything. I build said flow in an app. And then at the end of the line i always end up with a shit codebase because i designed it to be like the documented flow, but changes were being added (and obviously paid for) all the time. I made such a neat little app. And now it all gone to shit.

Is this just me? Am i that bad at programming or what?!

Stop changing half of the app functionality after the original design is created!

Family: why are you always so grouchy and grumpy
Me: because you make me get up when I'm in the flow of coding/studying
Family: oh sorry we understand we'll try not to do that again

Skip to 30 mins later when they repeat the same stuff and offer a cup of tea or coffee... as if just one cup of tea/coffee will do the trick.

Every time I see a set of stickers arrive in a far off country (just saw Kenya!? What!?) it makes me really happy. Spread the angry developer nerd rage. Let it flow through you.

Jesus, I'm SO fed up with this mindless application of CRUD. This application would literally be less than half its current size if we weren't implementing crud for fucking broken device reports and repair offers, stuff that should have many states, a create action strictly bound to a user type and view/field wise edit phases bound to a state-usertype pair.

Any devs have to track their time down to 15 minute increments? Do you get used to it? Does it fuck with your flow? Any tools to use to make it easier?

PSA: If you do reverse proxying stuff, prefer unix domain sockets over localhost internet sockets, if it's on the same machine (and if it's forwarded over ssh too). You can even serve HTTP as a unix socket.

Unix domain sockets don't have the overhead of IP, so generally speaking, data will flow to your other process with much less overhead.

I've recently stopped being lazy at this, and it's worth it.

Vue is amazing at all but fuck...never try to create some kind of layer on top of it or use external events inside. It is hell, trust me. I hate myself so much now. Shieet.
Now I am crying here with fucked up data flow and such complex hard to debug creature...

I have been working with git for years now, and I could never work on a project (regardless if big or small) without it. Its great.
However, just a couple of days ago I learned about the git flow branching model.
Even tho I also worked with branching on a daily basis for years, I did not know about this model. And I have to admit: Its awesome.
If you don't know it, I highly recommend you to look it up. It really improves the already organized workflow with git even more. :)

I want to be productive, stop giving me this hunger and sleepy debuff.

Douche body, totally killing my flow

Having a narcissist as a friend can depreciate your mental energy so much that you just want to scream "fuck off... nobody gives a fuck about you".
but you know doing that will scatter the little fantasy world they surround themselves with and open them to a harsh reality.
so for me, I just go with the flow

Experienced programmer:
Code works in head; code almost works in computer; code never works with client.
Beginner programmer:
Code almost works in head; code never works in computer; code will never work with client.
Long story short: it's hard to begin but when you let the code flow, you became a programmer

Clients that want to tell a programmer the logic flow of their program:

if x > y, "A" happens
if x < y, "B" happens

WHAT OF THEY ARE EQUAL?!?!?

When you catch developers rolling out untested changes to production that have a huge impact on your clients workflow... And they don't tell anyone so you find out because your clients are yelling on the phone about some change affecting their work flow.

* Developing a new "My pages" NBV offer/order solution for customer
_Thursday
Customer: Are we ready for testing?
Me: Almost, we need to receive the SSL cert and then do a full test run to see if your sales services get the orders correctly. At this point, all orders made via this flow are tagged so they will not be sent to the Sales services. We also still need to implement the tracking to see who has been exposed to what in My Pages.
Customer: Ok, great!

_Friday
Customer: My web team needs these customers to have fake offers on them, to validate the layout and content
Me: Ok, my colleague can fix this by Tuesday - he has all the other things with higher prio from you to complete first
Customer: Ok! Good!

_Sunday
Me: Good news, got the SSL cert installed and have verified the flow from my side. Now you need to verify the full flow from your side.
Customer: Ok! Great! Will do.

_Monday
*quiet*

_Tuesday
Customer: Can you see how things are going? Any good news?
Me: ???
*looks into the system*
WTF!?!
- Have you set this into production on your side? We are not finished with the implementation on our side!
Customer: Oh, sorry - well, it looked fine when we tested with the test links you sent (3 weeks ago)
Me: But did you make a complete test run, and make sure that Sales services got the order?
Customer: Oh, no they didn't receive anything - but we thought that was just because of it being a test link
Me: Seriously - you didn't read what i wrote last Thursday?
Customer: ...
Me: Ok, so what happens if something goes wrong - who get's blamed?
Customer: ...
Me: FML!!!

So I just spent a 7 fucking hours recreating a feature just to find out that I already did it once. Don't forget to checkout the correct branch fellas.

Bunch of freelancers invented new Git flow 😂🤣

When someone interrupts your flow

C# is getting so fucking obfuscated with these null check inceptions. Found the following in my company's code base. Why did it take me and 3 other devs an hour to figure out how to write this if statement into a flowchart?

if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? b[0]?.Id))...😫😫😫

FYI: We figured it and also found some bugs with logic, but can you? I'll post our flowchart if ranters are interested.

So to add to the madness:
if(!string.IsNullOrEmpty(a?.Id ?? (b?.Any() ? b[0].Id : null)))...🤯🤯🤯

Hmm I have created marketing application. and when it goes live the client comes with approxx.. 10M mails to be sent at once :( Everything worked smoother But client does not have patience to wait.. So he went to the boss.. boss told us heyy you process email one by one .. instead create batch of emails and then sent.. my whole application flow has been changed.,.....
Its like am on 0 to start again

crying in corner ... :(

PM keeps inviting me to meetings so I can see the process flow he created and bask in his greatness... :-/

What (music) are you listening to at work?
Most of the time I need music to get in a kind of flow during coding.
Sometimes I listen to some podcasts or have a documentary running.
Fortunately, my bosses are quite tolerant.

My company insists on working in one production environment to save time and every time I try to convince them to set up a work flow with a dev and test environment, they tell me we don't have the time...

Even after I set one up anyway as I'm scared shitless to touch production. They tell me it's faster doing it all in one environment.

They launch an update. Site buggy as hell and doesn't load 90% of the content...

Sigh....

During an interview, how to detect if a company has a dysfunctional flow of development? What good questions to ask?

Like things are scattered all over and there's no standard being followed, no architecture, no code reviews, everything is a patchy magic, no testing, and everything is just on fire! How to avoid such companies?

Sometimes, when I’m stressed, I do this thing that I really enjoy looking at: installing updates.
Homebrew, pip, npm (global & local), apt, even manual updates in apps. This in several machines.

I like having the logs flow smoothly. It’s soothing.

Do you have a specific ritual for entering the flow state?

Mine is pretty simple: blast high BPM trance/psytrance/full-on trance to the headphones and let it consume all my thoughts

One thing that I hate more than anything else in what I do: Waiting

Whether it is compiling, training, loading, IDE indexing or building I just despise it. It gets me out of my flow and forces me to be bored and often unable to do anything else because my pc is busy

Ahh, that increadible feeling when I start typing to the rythm of music. Especially fast math rock.

Listening to "And so I watch you from afar" right now, it's almost like I'm part of the band 😅

In my previous rant:
Last week I resigned, in the meantime they've completely reworked the git flow process and made PR's optional, among other stuff.

Today: "Architects" ask that we stop creating tags. We're replacing release tags with release branches.

I feel dirty only for imagining having to do a "git checkout -b "v1.2.3".

Good times :)

Nothing destroys work flow like management idiots deciding on features and design that they just pulled out of their asses.

Client's Devs Yesterday: "We are ready for a production test, and should be ready to go live in 1 week."

Today after successful test: "We need 6 weeks of production before going live"

How can you be so far off on your timelines? A solo dev has done this same flow in like three weeks. It has already been three months...

So I've been back to work for 2 weeks after going on a holiday. Getting back into the flow of things was easy, but seeing the status of the project that I am a part of, and seeing the kind of implementation work that my co-workers has done, it's kind of a no surprise.

So the past 2 weeks I've been completing features that I left my co-workers to finish, but didn't. And rewriting other features that they worked on, but does not meet the specifications.

Will I ever be able to work with reliable/competent developers?

Read everything and by looking at the source code by example, changing stuff and seeing what happens, reading tutorials, books, watching videos. Then coming up with an idea I want to do that doesn't seem too difficult but gradually building up knowledge of commands, memory, input and output, variable types and manipulation of said types, learning program flow and control and making stuff one project at a time.

Just finished making an ER diagram for the 5th time now.
It was less painful this time. (Thanks draw.io)

(About the 4th ER diagram - le professor says "It looks like a flow chart, that's not right", but it's clearly not?)

I'll have to submit the draft tomorrow to the professor, I just hope that he green lights it so I could finalize the project report.

I hate making ER diagrams now.

you literally change about 80% of your business flow then demand new features/modules for literally at least once every 3 months, then you are angry why your 2 underpaid, overworked programmers can't catch up.

Google OAuth docs is such a pain to read... I have implemented OAuth multiple times and understand the flow. Its never been a problem, but man, their docs is such a pain to read.

Their Java client library is also painful. Its needlessly complex that I just ended up implement good old HTTP rest to handle it.

Tbh this is more about education in general... Introduce the same system i had, no fixed lessons just a project and a time frame. Eg : create your own MVC framework and a site to show it off

Time frame : 5 weeks

(dont expect fully fletched frameworks but a site that uses the MVC data flow and the code is reusable)

I've been working on this personal project, it has a, for lack of a better word, "interesting" work flow. I'm trying to make a program similar to Netflix, here's the way it works.
I have an html page with a video, and a black background, I use the webview plugin for fusion, which acts as a mini web browser, it's programmed to load the test.html file, which the test.html file than loads the video, then I build a gui connected to it in different frames. It's odd, yes, but it does the job done.

CATCH2 PLEASE DO YOU FUCKING WORK.

I HAD TO REWRITE MY FUCKING THING TWO TIMES BECAUSE YOU FUCKING RUN MY TEST CASES WEIRDLY THUS MAKING MY THINGY NOT WORK

Thought : God the Programmer

Life is huge bunch of programming code written by God. Where the flow of control depends on how you resolve conditions.

After so many bad days, I finally had a day being in flow.

Rad day!

Snartsheet requires checkbox values of "true" or "false"

Microsoft Flow only passes booleans as "True" and "False" so the API rejects the data.

Do you ever just have a hundred different people asking you a hundred different questions about a hundred different things at a hundred different times of the day?

Fuck man I can't get ANYTHING done, and all my answers to people feel inadequate (quantity over quality). Maybe I shouldn't have decided to help work on so many different codebases.

That moment when you insist on finishing something but thoughts just won't flow anymore.

Time to retreat after a long blank stare at the screen...

Hi fellow devs!

As a developer it is a crucial to be productive. Obviously the most effecient way is to get in the flow.
What is your rituale to reach this state?

The work. I just like the flow

After 8years+ on stackover flow, I do have my "informed" barge(which I got the day I signed up) and a reputation of 10pts.
I wonder how these guys with countless points got them.

After a week of working days of testing and development, the new feature finally finished. But my boss wasn't satisfied with the flow so he sent a revision.

After finished with revision, he still not satisfied with it and then sent another revision. This happened 3 times in a week after completing task before any revision and this week comes the fourth with some vague businesses flow. I feel like I don't have value anymore in this company.

Procrastination is not a bad thing as opposed to how society describes it. It's where ideas and new strategies are invented. Of course if you procrastinate all day then it may be an issue of not getting things done, but fighting it all the time does not help.

The mind is trying to tell you something, let it flow.

My best friend has been working to learn python and I guess he hasn't see control flow statements.

The problem is we have a girl name "elif" in Turkish and it's his ex's name (+4 yrs, bad ending)

What should I do :D

Typescript is like a condom that has sideways with passages to flow the stuff ! Which is basically a bloody condom with hole ! WTF 😑 .ts to .js !

You just want whole bloody damn Java to be implemented at client side ..😣 God bless us .. Hate u Angular ... I loved you like hell now u hokkin up with this hoe ...
Hail JavaScript !

Had an idea for a Webb app tonight that I could use to test some new things out. Didn't get round to the new things but 3 hours later I do have my IDE set up, quarter of a billion npm modules and a gulp flow so complicated it feels like the file system is a rubicks cube...

And now even the meetings I am not invited to are interrupting my work flow. Seriously. I need to collaborate with two people, one of whom is the SME for the piece of code I am working in who just got back from vacation, which he left on after breaking his algorithm because apparently due dilligence is lost on this guy. My other collaborator and I have been fighting this fire for two days. And they both get whisked off into another meeting before I can get ANY information out of any of them. But sure. We're only in a day by day schedule slip. With customers depending on our delivery in order to test their project. I am not work it OT for these fuckers because they decided that having a meeting is more important than. Delivering a damn reliable product.

Just lost two clients who were on retainer. Startup suddenly with cash flow problems.
I'm not sure what to do to fix this.
☹️

GIT, doesn't matter how good your IDE is if your work flow and backup system is shit

"hey guys look at soeedtest beta!"

[looks at them with a smirk]

"Hey, you should try it!"

[Shows my custom speedtest instance]

Me: "I had this weeks before you guys caught with the flow"

yeah new speedtest is awesome but a custom speedtest is even more awesome

Coding is like handwriting.

Code review is about having a common understanding of the big picture and ensure be features follow the general architecture and process flow.

Code review is not about nitpicking on FUCKING TRAILING WHITEFUCKINGSPACES , lower case vs upper case SQL statements, extra empty lines AND EVERY FUCKING MINOR DETAIL you can imagine

Steve Jobs said that you gotta love what you do. He basically was strong advocate of the flow state.

"hey, can you please help me out with this, it isn't working"

"What's it say?"

"I dunno, It's giving (not throwing) some exception/error" (no clear distinction between them)

Well, shit. Did NOT expect Java to do that in case of some undesirable flow in code! Stack trace, error message, what was happening when the exception (or actual error) occurred as inferred from logs... Nope.

Great!

"The control which designers know in the print medium, and often desire in the web medium, is simply a function of the limitation of the printed page. We should embrace the fact that the web doesn’t have the same constraints, and design for this flexibility. But first, we must 'accept the ebb and flow of things.'" - John Allsopp

May the code of this universe flow through my brain *wakesup* good morning brothers .........

When will managers understand that there is a huge difference between a UX designer and a graphical designer?!

FML. The time wasted trying to explain that the proposed GUI is rubbish because they put a graphical designer in charge of planning the entire application flow..

A whole week for "a new ecommerce system" delivered shortly after the MD declare how simple it would be with some hybrid pseudo code/flow chart on their magic whiteboard.

Words were had.

The first computer I used as a youngster was an iMac G3. We made flow charts and it was magical. I used any excuse possible to get on the computer and make a flow chart.

Listened my PO talking with client and she explained why we did it the way we did (so the app user flow has more sense) ending the sentence with "... so if you look it that way, this is not a bug, it is a feature!"

Sometimes in a very fast flow the variable I select to be replaced by Ctrl+v finger just press Ctrl+c,Ctrl+v.

now I have to look what I copied :/

I *PAY* DI.fm to listen to music while programming and they still cut me off after 4h every fucking day completely destroying my programming flow inflicting damage way way worse than the meager 9$ or whatever the shit is I pay them for the "PRO" "Premium level" "service". ffs

Today, we can edit comments or post upto 5 mins only to maintain the flow.

But would it make sense to be able to amend comments and post anytime and east way to see publicly the history of edits. This will serve the original purpose while correcting cosmetic changes even after 5 mins.

What do you people think?

I hope that when I wake up in the morning, the racket code I just wrote from midnight to 3am makes as much sense to me as it does at the time of writing.

Banana Language always seems to flow easier when exhausted.

Any Kotlin fans out here? What's your favourite feature?

To me: coroutines and the flow API. I can't wait for the state flow and shared flow APIs to be released. Goodbye Rx! It'll come probably in the next release, which might come in a week already, because then JetBrains (Kotlin developer) hosts their online alternative to KotlinConf.

What the fuccckkkkk are webhooksss how do i write i
So im a intern at this company they told me to develop a chatbot using this dialogue flow and twilio and so i need to write an external webhook in asp to connect it with dialogue to perform some actions on databaseee
I don't why i cant figure this sshit out in super fucking dumb ugh

We have to deliver a new functionality in 2 weeks and the client hasn't share with as the specs of the flow and the business details yet.
So until today we had developed the half functionality believing that our system will communicate with Web services with a third - not the actual one.
We figured it almost by luck, when randomly, a colleague from the third system made a funny comment.....

From my recent experience, I observed that a flow of money should be there, else the project will never get complete. Is it true?

My boss keeps telling us that our dev team should be building using Microsoft PowerApps and Flow.