Saw a job posting at subway in Chicago. Need a job ?

Why are job postings so bad?
Like, really. Why?

Here's four I found today, plus an interview with a trainwreck from last week.
(And these aren't even the worst I've found lately!)

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Ridiculous job posting #1:
* 5 years React and React Native experience -- the initial release of React Native was in May 2013, apparently. ~5.7 years ago.
* Masters degree in computer science.
* Write clean, maintainable code with tests.
* Be social and outgoing.

So: you must have either worked at Facebook or adopted and committed to both React and React Native basically immediately after release. You must also be in academia (with a masters!), and write clean and maintainable code, which... basically doesn't happen in academia. And on top of (and really: despite) all of this, you must also be a social butterfly! Good luck ~

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Ridiculous job posting #2:
* "We use Ruby on Rails"
* A few sentences later... "we love functional programming and write only functional code!"

Cue Inigo Montoya.

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Ridiculous job posting #3:
* 100% remote! Work from anywhere, any time zone!
* and following that: You must have at least 4 work hours overlap with your coworkers per day.
* two company-wide meetups per quarter! In fancy places like Peru and Tibet! ... TWO PER QUARTER!?

Let me paraphrase: "We like the entire team being remote, together."

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Ridiculous job posting #4:
* Actual title: "Developer (noun): Superhero poised to change the world (apply within)"
* Actual excerpt: "We know that headhunters are already beating down your door. All we want is the opportunity to earn our right to keep you every single day."
* Actual excerpt: "But alas. A dark and evil power is upon us. And this… ...is where you enter the story. You will be the Superman who is called upon to hammer the villains back into the abyss from whence they came."

I already applied to this company some time before (...surprisingly...) and found that the founder/boss is both an ex cowboy dev and... more than a bit of a loon. If that last part isn't obvious already? Sheesh. He should go write bad fantasy metal lyrics instead.

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Ridiculous interview:
* Service offered for free to customers
* PHP fanboy angrily asking only PHP questions despite the stack (Node+Vue) not even freaking including PHP! To be fair, he didn't know anything but PHP... so why (and how) is he working there?
* Actual admission: No testing suite, CI, or QA in place
* Actual admission: Testing sometimes happens in production due to tight deadlines
* Actual admission: Company serves ads and sells personally-identifiable customer information (with affiliate royalties!) to cover expenses
* Actual admission: Not looking for other monetization strategies; simply trying to scale their current break-even approach.

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I find more of these every time I look. It's insane.
Why can't people be sane and at least semi-intelligent?

Recruiters and HR plz note there is difference between Web Developer and Web Designer... I repeat there is difference between Developer and Designer.

Wtf how am I seeing job postings for senior blockchain developers with 8+ years of experience? Aint this shit like super new??

I was stuffing shrimp in my mouth when I received a call from a recruiter. I didn't apply for their company then she asked me, "May I know why you're looking for a new job?" Bitch, I was eating. I wasn't looking for anything. I haven't applied to any job postings since last year.

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There was another time the conversation went like this:

Recruiter: "Hi, we're looking for developers blah blah blah. Do you know about <company name>?"

Me: "No."

Recruiter: *explains what the company is and what it does*

Recruiter: "May I know why you want to apply for <company name>?"

Me: "Huh?"

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Recruiter: "So this is the salary we are offering you."

Me: "Hmmmmm.. I'll think about it."

Recruiter: "Did you receive another offer?"

Me: *being honest* "Yes but I negotiated it, I'm waiting for their revised offer. I want to see that first before I decide."

Recruiter: *calls a few minutes later* "Have you decided yet?"

Me: "Nope, still waiting."

Recruiter: *sighs* "How about I add X amount to the salary?"

Me: "Hmmm.. Can you make it <double the increase>?"

Recruiter: "No, that's the maximum."

Me: "Lol. Okay."

As a student I was looking for part time jobs, one of the job postings was titled "Database assistant". When I looked at the job description, its about filling out excel sheets -_-

I quit my job at a startup because the business guys did not respect my advices in business strategy.

just saw the job post for my position where they write:
"experience with MySQL databases (for example redis and git)"

Now I know that I was wrong. These guys seems to have informations that I do not have 😎

Browsing job postings, and some of these requirements are just crazy, and/or wtf. Here's an example:

Front End developer wanted, junior to mid-level. An ideal candidate will be an expert in PHP, C#, and Java. Minimum experience of 10 years. Estimated compensation 30,000 per year.

Entry level full stack developer. Must be an expert in SQL. 5 years experience, BS in computer science required.

Web Developer intern - must have 3 years of experience. Must be an expert in x, y, z. This position is unpaid.

Sheeit.

So I'm job hunting and trying to beat ATS systems like the cool programmer I try to be.

Same company, two postings - first position I sent my resume to, rejected me after a day. Second position that I optimized my resume about 2% more, immediate interview request.

Here's the kicker, interview is done using an AI.

So basically I spent time trying to beat one robot just to be video interviewed by another robot.

Welcome to the future ladies and gents.

Casually perusing some online job postings and happened upon this gem. This is at best gloriously naive...

This rant is inspired by another rant about automated HR emails like "we appreciate your interest [bla bla] you got rejected [bla bla]". (Please bare with me).
I live in an underdeveloped country, I graduated in September, did Machine Learning for my thesis and I will soon publish a paper about it, loved it wanted to work as ML/data science engineer. On all the job postings I found there was only one job related, I sent resume, they didn't answer, couple months later that company posted that they want a full stack web dev with knowledge of mobile dev and ML, basically an all in one person, for the salary of a junior dev.
- another company posted about python/web scraping developer, I had the experience and I got in touch, they sent me a test, took me 3 days, one of the questions took me 2 days, I found an unanswered SO question with the exact wording dating to 6 months ago, I solved it, sent answers, never heard back from them again.
- one company weren't really hiring, I got in touch asking if the have a position, they sent a test, I did it, they liked it, scheduled an interview, the interviewer was arrogant, not giving any attention to what I am saying, kept asking in depth questions that even an expert might struggle answering. In the end they said they're not really hiring but they interview and see what they can find. Basically looking for experts, I mentioned that im freshly graduated from the very beginning.
- over 1000 applications on different positions on LinkedIn across the whole world, same automated rejection email, but at least they didn't keep me waiting.
- I lost hope. Found a job posting near me, python/django dev, in the interview they asked about frontend (react/vueJS) and Flutter, said I don't have experience and not interested in that, they asked about databases, C and java and other stuff that I have experience in, they hired me with an insulting salary (really insulting) cuz they knew im hopeless, filling 2 positions, python dev and tech support for an app built in the 90s with C/java and sorcery... A week into the job while I'm still learning about the app I'm supposed to support, the guy called me into the office: "here's the thing" he said, "someone else is already working on python, i want you to learn either react or vueJS or flutter" I was in shock, I didn't know what to say, I said I'll think about it, next week I said I'll learn react, so I spent the week acting like im learning react while I scroll on FB and LinkedIn (I'm bad, I know).
- in the weekend a foreign company that I applied to few weeks ago got in touch, we had some interviews and I got hired as DevOps/MLOps. It's been a month and I'm loving it, the salary is decent and I love what I do.
Conclusion: don't lose hope.

According to all the job postings out these, exposure bucks are pretty valuable. Does anyone know the conversion rate between exposure bucks and Stanley nickels?

I don't get it. We're looking for a web developer and we're getting CVs from a continent over from people with no programming experience or with no web experience. What is going on?

Like there's this CV is from a guy that only does C++ in Kuala Lumpur... We're in Canada.

No one is local nor qualified. I thought a Wordpress dev position would be easier to feel.

1) Glassdoor

2) Only work on open source projects so you can see what you're getting yourself into.

3) Avoid job postings that use the words "polygot" and "passion" in the same sentence.

4) Work for yourself. Build a product or service to make you money, and if it doesn't pay for itself sell it.

People are weird man.. I made a startup and posted some job openings on upwork. After posting on upwork, I have people contacting me via text message, calling me, emailing me on 4 of my emails. One guy even found my other job and tried to make some kind variant with my name and employer and cc'ed my support email.
I never post my phone number or personal emails anywhere. Crazy.

If I post a job on upwork, I only hire on upwork.

Just browsing job postings for fun, see a junior developer posting I thought I would read.

Requirment:
Previous experience as a Web Developer (18 months +)

Who would this role suit:
Graduate Web Developer

Yeah fuck off...

Just finished my third year of my comp sci degree when a friend found me a position at a very small startup. I was asked to build a web crawler to take job postings off kijiji and craigslist and place them in our database for our clients to find. It didn't take long to build (even with limited experience). It was pretty shady. I didn't think i'd have to deal with the ethics of a task so soon in my new dev-life! Luckily it never made it to the live site. After that they got me to work on their android app (not so shady)

4 years later i still work for that company building apps. It's still a small team, and i love 'em 🤙

Want to make someone's life a misery? Here's how.

Don't base your tech stack on any prior knowledge or what's relevant to the problem.

Instead design it around all the latest trends and badges you want to put on your resume because they're frequent key words on job postings.

Once your data goes in, you'll never get it out again. At best you'll be teased with little crumbs of data but never the whole.

I know, here's a genius idea, instead of putting data into a normal data base then using a cache, lets put it all into the cache and by the way it's a volatile cache.

Here's an idea. For something as simple as a single log lets make it use a queue that goes into a queue that goes into another queue that goes into another queue all of which are black boxes. No rhyme of reason, queues are all the rage.

Have you tried: Lets use a new fangled tangle, trust me it's safe, INSERT BIG NAME HERE uses it.

Finally it all gets flushed down into this subterranean cunt of a sewerage system and good luck getting it all out again. It's like hell except it's all shitty instead of all fiery.

All I want is to export one table, a simple log table with a few GB to CSV or heck whatever generic format it supports, that's it.

So I run the export table to file command and off it goes only less than a minute later for timeout commands to start piling up until it aborts. WTF. So then I set the most obvious timeout setting in the client, no change, then another timeout setting on the client, no change, then i try to put it in the client configuration file, no change, then I set the timeout on the export query, no change, then finally I bump the timeouts in the server config, no change, then I find someone has downloaded it from both tucows and apt, but they're using the tucows version so its real config is in /dev/database.xml (don't even ask). I increase that from seconds to a minute, it's still timing out after a minute.

In the end I have to make my own and this involves working out how to parse non-standard binary formatted data structures. It's the umpteenth time I have had to do this.

These aren't some no name solutions and it really terrifies me. All this is doing is taking some access logs, store them in one place then index by timestamp. These things are all meant to be blazing fast but grep is often faster. How the hell is such a trivial thing turned into a series of one nightmare after another? Things that should take a few minutes take days of screwing around. I don't have access logs any more because I can't access them anymore.

The terror of this isn't that it's so awful, it's that all the little kiddies doing all this jazz for the first time and using all these shit wipe buzzword driven approaches have no fucking clue it's not meant to be this difficult. I'm replacing entire tens of thousands to million line enterprise systems with a few hundred lines of code that's faster, more reliable and better in virtually every measurable way time and time again.

This is constant. It's not one offender, it's not one project, it's not one company, it's not one developer, it's the industry standard. It's all over open source software and all over dev shops. Everything is exponentially becoming more bloated and difficult than it needs to be. I'm seeing people pull up a hundred cloud instances for things that'll be happy at home with a few minutes to a week's optimisation efforts. Queries that are N*N and only take a few minutes to turn to LOG(N) but instead people renting out a fucking off huge ass SQL cluster instead that not only costs gobs of money but takes a ton of time maintaining and configuring which isn't going to be done right either.

I think most people are bullshitting when they say they have impostor syndrome but when the trend in technology is to make every fucking little trivial thing a thousand times more complex than it has to be I can see how they'd feel that way. There's so bloody much you need to do that you don't need to do these days that you either can't get anything done right or the smallest thing takes an age.

I have no idea why some people put up with some of these appliances. If you bought a dish washer that made washing dishes even harder than it was before you'd return it to the store.

Every time I see the terms enterprise, fast, big data, scalable, cloud or anything of the like I bang my head on the table. One of these days I'm going to lose my fucking tits.

I always read UI/UX as UNIX in job postings only to be disappointed.

when I graduated my dad would 'help' me in my job hunt by cutting out postings from the New York Times for "Lead Software Engineer" positions at Microsoft, Google etc despite the fact that I really was just trying to get a junior level position...

Had an interview with a local recruiting company for a series of jobs they posted. It started with two of their interviewers casually talking to me at a Starbucks. After a while they realized I met the criteria for one of their own job postings so they texted their boss who came down to the coffee shop about five minutes later. Which is when it got weird. She asked me regular questions about the job, then started asking me about non work stuff. She was sitting next to me at a 4 person table. We talked a little about hobbies, I'm really into biking so we talked about that. Which is when it got super weird, she felt my leg up and ran her hand around my chest. I didn't even think anything of that until the interview ended honestly, but it's freaked me out until this day. Never had an interview like that before. Ironically, I didn't get the job, and if I would have gotten the offer it would have had to have been really really good to take it. She gave me the heebie jeebies despite being attractive, who does that, in an interview none the less.

Clever use of a period...

Explored some job postings online.
Everything was alright then it happened. "IIT and NIT students will be preferred". Logged off in disappointment 😫😫

A call centre manager is dictating the direction for the development of an app I'm working on.

Everything is working perfectly and then I'm asked to implement logic that makes sense to noone else but her. Then a week later shit breaks. Then I'm blamed. Then I implement a "fix". Repeat this cycle over and over.

I've started looking at local postings for a job in construction.

software development job postings in 2020 be like

I've heard about some of the ridiculous requirements that some companies have in job postings and always thought that they're probably over exaggerating a bit.

Holy shit was I wrong.

I've taken a look at the positions that they have posted for my coop program and while I understand that my college was not the only one posted to for these, they seem pretty extreme at times. There were a few postings that required several mountains of web frameworks and experience that unless you did a lot of self study prior or had previous professional work experience would have been impossible.

We're students, a lot of us have never touched an IDE prior to our program so to ask us for in some cases years of experience in a language or tool that I have never even heard of, nor have even been even vaguely mentioned by profs, seems a bit much. I have had years of experience in a fair variety of tools and languages but even for me this seemed a tad bit unreasonable. Not all of the postings require this much prior experience in the field so I can apply to some.

The professor teaching the preparation course says they can't understand why people apply for the coop program then don't apply to positions. While I understand there are people who might not apply due to laziness or an overflow of assignments, I feel like a good chunk just can't find any positions that they may be partially qualified for.

Whenever I see job postings with salaries this low I always wonder exactly what's going through the minds of the people running the company.

Who in their right mind would want to spend 4+ years working hard on a CS degree only to be offered less than what the average retail manager earns? I barely afford a 1 bed flat share on this salary in my part of the country...

I'm starting to run into more and more job adverts like this. Why are companies working so hard to rip of graduates?

The day is not far away when we see job postings with required 10 years of Deno experience...

I've been trying for the last 3 months to land my first development job. I have a good (over 3 years) amount of experience, but no industry experience and no degree. So it's been a uphill battle. Currently working at a call center making garbage and most of my time and energy is invested into this. Currently am not mobile so most of my money is being geared towards that. It's just frustrating to see all these over glorified job postings that ask so much for just entry levels. I haven't even gotten a damn interview, I feel like in houston it's either you have a degree or you are not even considered for just a fucking interview. If I can get at least one they will be able to see my drive, persistence and skills that have been developed overtime. And fuck recruiters, have been interfacing with them over linkedin and not one of them seemed eager (initially yes) to land me an interview. Most of these fucks don't even fucking understand the technology or buzzwords that are on the job posting. If I were a recruiter I would at least put a little research into what the different technologies are so the process will seem less abstract. The tech will have more meaning and maybe I would be able to get a better success rate with clients if I knew what was really required of them. Not just looking at xyz and seeing if client has experience with them, but really see if they know what they are; that way I will have more confidence sending them into an interview. But of course that's not how it works. "Oh yeah Java and javascript are very similar"... get the fuck out of here.

It's a torture for developers when you're on StackOverFlow, which is everyday, and you see awesome job postings.

You know what I've noticed? I've been applying for jobs lately, and it has occurred to me that most job postings for software developer require proficiency in a framework instead of a language.

Do these people even know what the fuck they want? If I know the fucking language then I can pick up the god damn framework pretty damn quickly

😠 Fucking douche bags!

... 😧 ok I'm done

Everyone knows how hard it is to get your first job. Everywhere wants 1-3 years of experience.

What noone tells you thought is that's hard at the other end. When you're looking for architect/tech lead roles you will see loads of postings but upon investigation they're just mislabeled senior developer positions.

And of course, if you're looking for good money, it feels almost impossible to get beyond the screening stage...

Is there a page somewhere to slutshame the employers and their job postings, I'm scrolling now trough job ads just for kicks and I swear to God some employers should be banned from even asking for employees.

Has anyone experience with true full remote working?

I keep searching for job postings, but they mostly have huge BUT(s)

- remote BUT you need to be resident where the company is
- remote BUT you need to have a valid vat number and it won't be a contract, just a "we will ask x hours per month, you get no vacations or sick days"
- remote BUT you need to be in our timezone or work at our hours.

I am lately thinking a lot about what to do with my life due to the possibility that i will move with my sweet half and... We live very far apart so it's like... A bummer to be bound to a place. Especially since they love where they are, but i have a free house which I inherited, so... Could be nice as a fallback

Edit: the vat number thing is not necessarily bad, but one of the main reasons to work as an employee is that i get sick days and stuff, if i have to follow your hours, get no sick days/vacation days/benefits i may as well be a freelancer and gain more, lol.

Just came across a job posting on Linkedin, which basically expects the applicant to be a sysadmin, front end and back end developer at the same time.

Almost contacted the job poster just to send a WTF.

To find my next subject I wanna learn about, I usually look at job postings, and find the thing I don't know that most posting have in common. Kinda gives me an idea what technologies companies are using, and what might be smart to learn

I was looking at internships online for my previous studies.
I fill in my cv, look at a couple postings, 1 click apply to 5 of them, within 5 minutes I get a call "When can you come over to our office?"
Made an appointment for the next week on Monday, got there late because health problems, apologized profusely, did a 15 minutes interview.
15 minutes after the interview, I get a call asking when I can start.

After that internship, I got a part-time position, after a year I had to do a new internship, did it at the same company, and after the second one I got a new part-time job.

Still there 2 years after that first internship.

I'm tired of react.js' overbearing presence in almost all facets of development. It doesn't matter what kind of job postings I see, Front- or Backend Developer, a baffling amount of companies want react, react-native, next.js, etc. I'm exhausted by people singing high-praises to its name, hearing ad-nauseam, that it is the most immaculate 'framework' to ever exist. Everything that react does makes - of course - sense and is the only logical way to do web-dev and the react-way worms it way to other technologies as well.

"React is the fastest, bestest and most popular ever and you should feel ashamed for not having mastered it. By the by, since it's so easy to use and learn, if you can't build a high-complexity enterprise SPA within a week with it, you must suck as a dev".

True, nobody words it like that, but that's how I feel about almost any react related articles that pops up every single time. I couldn't get into react. I didn't find it easy and I never could adopt that thought-model necessary to work with it for any even mildly complicated SPA and boy, did I get some nasty feedback for it. I get it, I do. I'm slow and definitely not proud of it, but react simply makes no sense to me. I'm not even saying that react is bad. It's just not my kind of technology. The fact that I used nest.js for a backend application makes feel bad, because it's "too much like Angular".

Everything has to be "react" nowadays and that's how I feel every single day, while I have that damocles sword looming over my head.

The current dev-world makes me want to abandon anything IT related at this point. It's simply not fun, it's more suffocating than it ever was.

Incoming rant.

I have 4 years professional experience at a small shop working on a web application for property and liability insurance. The application is ASP.NET with C# as the code-behind. I have a BCS and will finish my MSIS fall 2017. I have no idea why I have the degrees. I know that when I enrolled, it seemed like they would be a nice addition to an otherwise empty resume. I was lucky enough to land my first and only development job during my sophomore year of my undergraduate program. Is this enough experience to land a new job?

I feel like I'm learning nothing at my current job. The specs that come in seem very vague to me. When asked for clarification, there is often push back, and I don't know whether that's because I don't have enough experience to parse what the client means in the two sentence spec I got or if it's because the client does not actually know what they want.

I hate my current job. My productivity is low because I spend more time trying to figure out what the client wants and analyzing an 8 year old system that has 0 documentation. I know some of you will just say, "Suck it up" at this point, but I really want another job. The only thing I like about this job is that it's 100% remote. It also pays $60k a year, so a replacement should be at least that salary.

Most postings I see require professional experience of 5 years or more, and knowledge of other frameworks. I can work on getting knowledge of the other frameworks, but will have no professional experience with them. I don't live in an area with a lot of software development jobs, and the ones I see are for non-IT organizations that want 1 person to run a distributed system from 10 or more locations. A hospital system out here wants to pay $30k a year for a guy to be both software developer for new tools as well as the helpdesk and IT support guy that's on-call for four locations in the county. I made more than that before I got into the development industry, for less work, and would rather leave than settle for something like that.

I've thought about moving to somewhere near San Francisco or San Jose, but I have my daughter to think about. I have joint custody of her, and would have to give that up in order to move out of the county.

I like programming and using it to solve problems. I like designing architectures and how all the components will interface. I like designing and normalizing databases. I like taking part in coding competitions for employers that are well-known (Amazon, Facebook, Uber, Twitch, etc.), even though I often just place middle of the pack. When that happens, I feel like I'm an imposter in this industry.

I think I have the most fun just working on small projects for personal use. My latest is an assistant calculator for the game Transport Fever to figure out cargo throughputs per annum based on the in-game timing information. Past projects have also been small. Ones I could use in a portfolio are a sudoku solver desktop application, PC/Web game in Unity that is a 3D FPS remake of Duck Hunt that allows open world exploration but locks the camera's viewpoint for shooting events, and a building assistant for Rome II: Total War that maps out all the bonuses/perks of user-specified building combinations in provinces so users can record their long term building plans without using all their turns to see the final results.

I seem to be an unproductive, average developer who dabbles in projects here and there.

This is what I want from other Ranters. Just say something. I don't care if it is, "Suck it up and get better." It could be your tips for finding and securing a new position. It could even be empathy, if such a thing exists on the Internet. Whatever you want, just say something that will help get me thinking of what the next steps in my career should be.

What JS framework you don't like but you were forced to study it due to job requirements? I like vue but there are only few job postings that require it. Most jobs here are angular and react. I know angular now and currently learning react because of job requirement reasons hehe!😄

Reading devRant and new job postings is leaving me with less time to write any code in this shit hole.

I was talking with a few people from college recently and we all had a good laugh at the fact, That a lot of job postings for mobile developers state that they are looking for an senior/intermediate android developer that has anywhere from 10 -15 years experience.

I even had an interview and in it they stated that they are heart set on finding someone with 12+ years of experience.

but Android was only release 9 years ago... SO HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSE TO HAVE 10+ YEARS EXPERIENCE

How often do you find job postings qualifications to be kind of a reach? For instance, if they say “minimum 3 years development experience,” and I’ve got 1, is it worth applying anyway?

Getting super demotivated looking at job postings on both indeed and glassdoor - they all seem like the same generic bullshit of maintaining some website... does anyone have suggestions of how to find companies that are building exciting products that aren't dinosaurs?

Not entirely sure why I'm not excited about blockchain.

And yet, I see job postings related to it everywhere.

What's so special about it?

Hey peeps just asking for some suggestions. We are currently having difficult times financially. My dad used to have food business but its now completely shut down and he is doing some sales job. My mom is somewhat educated (she completed till class 12th i guess) and knows very little abouts computers and stuff but she is interested in getting some job that's remote and computer based.

What things should i give her to learn that she could land a job in computer field?
Like am not talking about programming or development but other non tech fields people get paid for... Like data entry , emails writings etc. Currently i have given her courses to learn ms excel, ms word and basic English.
(Personally am also looking for a job but i know how you guys hate job postings . Checkout my website if you have something for me)

Since HR does job postings on StackOverflow I'm aware that they have a landing page. ...did not expect that. 😀😀