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My employer bought some new 40" 4k displays to the office. The want us to evaluate if they are any good, and if so replace all monitors... No real developers has one, only HR people sitting there with one huge window with office or word open!! It makes me cry! And they will most likely say they are too big!
When everyone left the office I tried one... OMG, i need this in my life! 😍
50 -
I came early today to the office
Found the office locked
Need fingerprint of Project Manager/CTO
With my mouth saying ah.. i blew hot air into the finger print sensor, 5 to 6 times
There u go.office door opened with welcome message
just hacked the system
Genius me11 -
day 1 - colleague buys a mini need pistol
day 2 - other colleague buys a big nerf pistol
day 4 - other colleague buys a f#&$ nerf shotgun
day 7 - I buy a automatic nerf gun
day 8 - huge nerf war with other co-workers
day 9 - nerf weapons banned on the office
yesterday - wait colleague leave the office and shoot him on the face every time
today - everyone walking crouched leaving the office
Please, if you are the someone else's boss, don't ban nerf guns, it's worse..26 -
CLASSIC: when there is a big emergency at the office everyone is going crazy and looking for you even under the rocks and you show up at the office 😎😏
3 -
Chinese co-workers visiting in our European office would just loudly fart in the office, no problem.
Then they'd be VERY embarrassed at someone using a toothpick after lunch.
Interesting cultural differences.4 -
Food.... It works every single day and also motivates me to goto the office.
My office is next to a mall.
8 -
Since my last update, I got a new screen. We reorganised the office, so I got a new spot in the office (corner with no one behind me). Got a monitor stand.
I’m costing the Norwegian people so much. All this stuff I request, is financed by the tax kroner.
15 -
Just after entering the office the heat wave hit me. 28ºC in the office at 8 a.m.?!?! Air conditioner down. Damn.
Live in North Europe they say. It's gonna be cool they say.18 -
Pranked the people working in my office by including fartscroll.js which (you guessed it) plays fart sounds on our website, internally.
It was amazing hearing random farts in the office when people have their sound maximum and don't know where it is coming from! -
We have open office. I had this co-worker Intern who sits right at the corner of the development team and farts silently. Sometimes there's no smell or little but sometimes it smells like he has shit on this pants.
No one knew that he was the one who farts in the office because he was always quiet and doing his job and doesn't react whenever anyone says anything to him.
On a friday evening when we were having drinks with other coi-workers in the office, he got high and told everyone that he was the one who farts silently in the office. Actually that was his last day of Internship too.6 -
Lead dev: Hey boss, you really do like Python right?
Me: No
Lead dev: Well it's cuz I was think....wait what? WTF do you mean no, you have automated a fuckload of BS with Python and we are still using it, why tf would you use Python if you don't like it?
Me: I like it enough for the automation scripts that we have and for parsing documents or generating glue scripts, its already installed in every server that we have, so testing bs in dev and then using them in prod is cake, it doesn't mean I LOVE python, I like it for what we use it.
Lead dev: Well ain't already bash and perl installed as well?
Me: Do you know bash and or perl?
Lead dev: No, don't you?....
Me: No......
L Dev: (using a Jim Carrey impersonation) WELLL ALLRIGTHY THEN! What is the other language that you used for X project?
Me: Clojure, do you remember that one?
* he said paren paren paren paren yes paren i space paren do close paren close paren etc etc
L Dev: (((((((yes (i (do)))))))) and nevermind, I'll get back to working more with Python
Me: das what I fucking thought esse6 -
The moment, when you are reading rants on the toilet in the office and the automatic light turned off.
2 -
Once worked for a guy who lectured me in front of the whole office because I didn't continued work at home after I stayed 3h unpaid overtime at the office.
I quit soon after that.3 -
Is your 20-line long signature detailing your role, team, office location, other office locations, company division, place of birth, etc. really necessary? And on every email in the same thread?3
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So my office manager decided to ban kitchen utensils in the office. Part of the reason was that there was too much stealing. Apparently too many mugs, knives, plates & spoons have gone missing for it to be just through loss.
I tried to reason with this office manager. I asked if we really want to create a culture of mistrust where we ban basic utilities like we’re children.
I appealed to the business logic do we really want freelancers going out to grab a coffee 10 minutes a day over a period of a year.
I tried to appeal to the digital nature of the office can we “source the solution from the office”
The other office have to bring in their own utensils but the other office has a canteen.
Essentially I feel like this was a power issue a decision was made I’m not allowed to question it.
Apparently my “behaviour” has been flagged with the CTO. 🤣🤨
I have to stir my tea with a knife unless I put stuff in my desk.
As a solution I decided to reach out to several green companies that provide disposable cutlery and kitchen where they agreed to send a sample which I put in the kitchen. I have a feeling this will be taken as hostile move in of what is: a solution.
Seriously W T actual F.6 -
The whole Microsoft office suite is being rewritten in React.js
This. Is. Not. A. Joke.
This also includes Skype, Ms teams, all office programs on all platforms, AND, VS Code....
Guys, we have trully peaked... gg....11 -
Return to office, return of the haikus:
Returned to office.
Time for the daily standup
On Microsoft Teams. 😒1 -
I HATE THE OPEN OFFICE LAYOUT I HATE THE OPEN OFFICE LAYOUT I HATE THE OPEN OFFICE LAYOUT I HATE THE OPEN OFFICE LAYOUT6
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Yesterday with my boss:
Hey boss, can I work from home tomorrow?
Boss: No, I need you in the office, we need to discuss some things together.
....He didn't come to the office today, he just made me come to train the newcomer LOL.6 -
According to all the job postings out these, exposure bucks are pretty valuable. Does anyone know the conversion rate between exposure bucks and Stanley nickels?
1 -
So I had to use office and image editing tools on Linux today.
Holy mother fucking god are these things awful. Gimp, pinta, gnome paint, libre office, open office... they seem like a project some guy threw together a weekend in his bedroom. The UX is shite and makes 0 sense. They crash and lag all over the place. For fuck sake!
Also... Gimp, libre office and open office. If you want to make an alternative to a well known product (Photoshop and MS Office in this example) then just fucking copy the god damn UI as much as you can. No-one is going to go learn your fucking half ass product, people only use this shit because it's free and available on Linux.
I swear, I seriously considered sending the images to my phone and just fucking edit them there because it would have been so much easier than using this pile of shit.
Fuck!!!28 -
Office survival tip #1: When in a new office with no kitchen, heat your food with the office heater.
How @JacoKotze and I are heating our food in our new office (no kitchen equipment or microwave yet)
4 -
That awkward moment when you stay late night in the office to catch up some delayed work and suddenly remember that story you heard during lunch about the ghost that appears in the office at night8
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First day after 3-4 hours:
"Our bathroom were out of the office and needed a badge to get in and out of office."
Him:"Hey i need to go the bathroom can you help me?"
P: "Sure".
Never to be seen again4 -
"Since your house is just a mile to our office you need to come to the office."
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION WE ARE IN???3 -
So we have a bug.
Yesterday I spend the morning sorting through other people's code to find out what is causing this bug report it to team leader once I find it. He asks me find out who made it and hunt them down! So git blame... Turns out it was him :S felt awkward mentioning it to him so didn't. 5 minutes later team leader "oh it was me" -
#newlifenewhope -> update no. 0 / Day 0
it's about the end of Day 0, front office is taking shape. the pantry is cleaned.
can't wait to see how my repurposed bunker will look like.
Order and Shipment progress :
- My Server supposed to be arrive tommorow
- Rubber Ducks Package Delivery is accepted by courier
- 2 weeks before my Office Requirements Arrive
Further Update for my Little Office Installment will be tagged as : #newlifenewhope
Stay Tuned !
2 -
There's a guy who uses a small electric scooter to speed across the office. It's less than 30 meters to the other side of the office.
Guy is going to hurt someone at some point. I don't even know the guy but I can already tell he's a dick.3 -
My friend who works in my previous company telling me how is the office structure 😅😅😅😅😅 shit office
2 -
A 27" monitor with a 1080p resolution is a match made in hell. Oh the eye bleach. (At home I got 30" with 2k or 1440p resolution. Much better viewing experience.)
I'm having my first day in the office in the new job after two week of remote work. I think I will prefer working from home office definitly (even though the office coffee machine is nice).
It doesn't help that the internet connection in the office is 100 Mbit and at home I have 1 Gbit.9 -
Call at 5am, meeting in the office at 5.15am, leave office at 5.30am on route to airport because the customer doesn't know how to use the system. It turned out to be nothing :/2
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A colleague went to work in his mobile home since he has to spend a few days in our office and he refuses to go on hotel. My office is above a shop and we share our parking.
Now one of the employees of the shop just entered in our office and bitched that the mobile home is taking in too many parking spots.
The parking is more than half empty :')5 -
Nobody, nobody, nobody should accept an office-only position unless they actually want to work in an office. People who actually believe that everyone should go back into the office should be excommunicated from this field. This freedom we have needs to be protected for the best interest of the future.4
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enjoying the silent environment in my office... wait, what's happening right underneath my window?
3 -
I use to have pretty lenient office hours. Boss recently told me he wanted me in the office 9-5, gets mad when I don't respond to emails outside of those hours2
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Looking around where I work, I'm reminded of when I was young and ambitious, like all the other kids around me at the time, with a dislike for all the older dudes and dudettes in upper management. With the exception of three other guys around my age, everyone, including the CEO, was in high school, middle school, elementary school, or not even born yet when I started my career. Just like them, I was plucky and chatty and (trying to be) funny and social. I didn't know how fast I would go from that set to the old fat guy that they look askance at and wonder how I'm still around with my weird ways and "boomerish", socially retarded behavior. What's really galling is that I'm solidly Gen X, like some of them, but I guess I talk more like a Boomer because my parents were older when I was born and I was kinda raised in that mindset. I'm the office schlub now. A man out of my time. And I've never been in any kind of upper management, even. I am Kevin Malone.
3 -
Depends.. in the Office? Someone watching over my shoulder like a creep.
Home office? Hot chicks walking around outside my window 😅6 -
Are you guys rather work from homeoffice or do you like to go to the office?
Personally I found out that I'm almost twice as productive in homeoffice than at the office...8 -
I really like having my desk in the corner of the office. Then I can block the entrace with my umbrella while drying it. Combine that with headphones and monitors blocking direct sight of me. So I have the ultimate do not disturb office space for efficient programming!5
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Just visited my new office! Tech offices are the best IMO. Open office plan, fully stocked pantry, bean bags, and a lot of cool stuff. Wayyy better than my previous job where we literally had desks and a coffee machine.5
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My coworker just replied to a customer’s out of office email. 😂
“Thank you for letting us know that you will be out of the office” 🤣
The subject of the email is “Re: Automatic reply: Data Export - Items Sold” 🤣🤣🤣 -
Mornings before starting office work
During start of lockdown: Wake up early, freshen up, do daily exercise, get sunlight from the window, write an article or work on side project for an hour, then start off to work...
5 months after lockdown: Wake up just 5 minutes before office work, brush my teeth and start off with office work...5 -
Back in office after 5 months of COVID work from home... Now my office screen feels positively tiny - and curved to the back, because I'm so used to my 33'' curved LCD at home... FML.
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Third time a photographer has been at the office. devRant.conf opened on the monitor for good measure.5
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My office had a set day where the underfloor heating would turn on and it was last weekend. Now our office is unbearably hot and no one that is present has the possibility to turn off the heating.
In the devOps room, we can't even open the window5 -
I get in to the office today, and I'm informed that my ceramic origami swan (https://devrant.com/rants/1231342/...) fell and broke during office cleaning.
I'm now afraid to bring new stuff into the office for my desk2 -
No offense...
But if I had a dollar for everytime, I faked a laugh in my office. I wouldn't need the job anymore.
*Surrounded by fucking dumbwits in the office*1 -
Today is a funny Monday: all the people at office forgot their keys at home (me included, also boss included) Until we can enter the office, I'm going to code at public library. At least I'm happy to carry portable Notepad++ in my pendrive!!
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Why the fuck didn't I use LaTeX sooner, even though I knew for years of its existence...
Bye Word and Libre Office and Open Office!
Now I CODE my docs in vscode!19 -
!rant
Remote working today and the rest of the month probably due to construction work at the office.
Yay! -
How is it possible that Microsoft Office and Open Office have less portability issues then Microsoft Office on Windows vs. Microsoft Office on Mac? It's supposed to be the same f*king programm developed by the same company! <.<2
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So it's Friday and keep in mind this is an open plan office and on fridays the office supplies unlimited beer on company time. Someone bought a pile of new rubber ducks for the office. Little did he know that when you squeeze them they squeak... I'm sure you can imagine the scene, very little work was done.1
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wow office is full of pessimistic and unhappy people. being a covid graduate i didn't knew the sadistic life of office goers . can some of you pre covid people share instances of a positive ofice environment that made you go to office each day?6
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2 months ago, I turned guest room in my home office. Earlier, the family used to call it guest room. Now they say, "That thing must be in his office".
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Is the office dead in the dev world? Does everyone prefer to work remote from home, coffee shops or Coworking spaces? Or is there still value in working as a team irl, but modern office culture is killing it?24
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SOOO last monday I got a new MS Office and Outlook in my office. It's ugly as fuck and not as functionable as the old one we got here, and I cannot install Thunderbird or so...
But at least NIGHT THEME WUUUU
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I had a company event last Friday and the CEO announced to go back to 2 days in the office.
And a bit later, he went on a spiel that employees should disable notifications more to focus. But he wants that we go back to the office... an open office with a lot more background noise.
My closest colleague that I work the most with is 2000 km away....2 -
Actually, the office. Because it's a space exclusively for working.
I did home office for quite a while and still do so from time to time but i get distracted and/or lazy too easily to really get something done at home.
In the office, I have to be focused and so I am for 8+ hrs.
Unpopular opinion: 9to5 is great.1 -
One thing I have realised these days is that I don't like the work from home setup.
Maybe it's the because of the bad working environment.
I actually appreciate office space more now. Once, out of office, it was easier to zone out of work mode and I didn't feel this much tired when working in office.1 -
I am working more effectively nowadays from home rather than from office.
At office, I end up spending most time in eating, playing table tennis and meetings.
The only thing I am missing at my house is my 2 big 27" 4k office monitors. -
Outside, 16 Degrees Celsius.
First one in the office, nice :)
Bathroom Break
Back in office
...
AC on blast at 12 FUCKEN DEGREES >:(3 -
Hello, today was my First day, internship at Microsoft innovation center BE, a great day with amazing people, my project is called tech Office, we need to process data from sensors in the office, create and use Microsoft AI to optimize and help the office become smarter and more efficient. Make the life better and the environment more productive. I don't really know where to start but I'm happy to be given such an opportunity and will do everything to make this work !
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Yesterday I left an open bag of fried chicken flavourd chips in the office. This morning the entire office smelled like Colonel Sanders had paid a visit.
8 -
What's the best way to run MS Office from Linux? Cloud based, native with wine/play on linux, or a native suite? I don't want to run a VM just for office.
I've tried Libre Office but it doesn't format well for my college professors, and office online works but it's not as quick plus you need the online connection.
Would something like WPS Office be my best option if I wanted a native solution that looked and felt like office with the best level of compatibility?12 -
I literally start coughing/sneezing as soon as I enter the Office. Had the same issue with the previous Office as well.
With offices paying no attention to hygiene, another reason to prefer remote roles? -
just realize, I have not talked face to face with anybody in a whole day
(little conversation on phone and chat)
total of 8 peoples in my office room including me and 30 + in the whole office.
that means either every device working properly in office or it's my luckiest day.4 -
Sent this to a coworker. He said don't share it with other people in the company; they are not ready.
https://ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/... -
Trying to help my friend fix his Microsoft Office over the phone.
Friend: 'I seem to be having some trouble installing Office'
Me: 'What version are you trying to install?'
Friend: 'Windows 10' -
Let's create a story ....
It was a normal day at the office, I had my headphones on and doing my coding, when suddenly the main office door blew up and smoke grenades where thrown in, I had to decide ...8 -
Bosses and managers out of the office for 2 days. Kan Jam, cornhole, and Xbox all day at the office!!
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What is the best free Office software for general odds and sods (mostly using Word, sometimes simple spreadsheets)?
Libre Office, Open Office, Free Office?
I tried Office 365 online - it's great but I want to be able to click on a file anywhere on my computer, and not have to upload it to onedrive first.
Thanking you.4 -
When i enrolled for cs degree, mom tells her friends that i won't /don't need an office, she says that my office is in the laptop and the bag..
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Office prank I pulled: Halloween party, the office is decorated, and there is a fake spider that I use to scare unwary victims.
Office prank other pulled: a printout picture of the grudge ghost was place in places like, laptop, side of a wall, clinic curtain, etc. That even if Halloween is over there as still some victims.. -
I didn't realise how much home office messed me up until I went into the office again... holy fuck, it feels like I just woke up from some nightmare.
I cannot explain it, but I feel a lot better now.2 -
I switched jobs and saw new office today. Also found out that this branch has 10 recruiters. This is outsourcing company, not recruiting company. Why the hell they need 10 recruiters in office that has capacity for 70 employees wtf...2
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I prefer workin at the office
I get distracted too easily at home plus i enjoy the drive. Maybe cause a dont hv a proper setup at home. But still i prefer the office -
Not for too long, really. Around 12-13h in the office and next 4-5h for my personal project. For a week. Then I stopped crunching and went back to 7-8h in the office and 6-7h of personal project.
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Power is down in the office. Allegedly it will come back at 4pm. Everyone is doing home office now and I'm here waiting for it to come back.
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