This...

+1 if you like my new laptop skin...

I met one of my friend from my childhood he asked me what I do for a living.

I told him : "I am a full stack developer"

He : What does that mean? What you have to do in office?

Me: I write code for websites in very simple words.

He: Like facebook?

Me: yes, exactly.

He: So you work for windows?

Me: What makes you think that?

He: Aren't websites comes with the computer?

Me: I am so unfortunate to meet you.

I absolutely HATE "web developers" who call you in to fix their FooBar'd mess, yet can't stop themselves from dictating what you should and shouldn't do, especially when they have no idea what they're doing.

So I get called in to a job improving the performance of a Magento site (and let's just say I have no love for Magento for a number of reasons) because this "developer" enabled Redis and expected everything to be lightning fast. Maybe he thought "Redis" was the name of a magical sorcerer living in the server. A master conjurer capable of weaving mystical time-altering spells to inexplicably improve the performance. Who knows?

This guy claims he spent "months" trying to figure out why the website couldn't load faster than 7 seconds at best, and his employer is demanding a resolution so he stops losing conversions. I usually try to avoid Magento because of all the headaches that come with it, but I figured "sure, why not?" I mean, he built the website less than a year ago, so how bad can it really be? Well...let's see how fast you all can facepalm:

1.) The website was built brand new on Magento 1.9.2.4...what? I mean, if this were built a few years back, that would be a different story, but building a fresh Magento website in 2017 in 1.x? I asked him why he did that...his answer absolutely floored me: "because PHP 5.5 was the best choice at the time for speed and performance..." What?!

2.) The ONLY optimization done on the website was Redis cache being enabled. No merged CSS/JS, no use of a CDN, no image optimization, no gzip, no expires rules. Just Redis...

3.) Now to say the website was poorly coded was an understatement. This wasn't the worst coding I've seen, but it was far from acceptable. There was no organization whatsoever. Templates and skin assets are being called from across 12 different locations on the server, making tracking down and finding a snippet to fix downright annoying.

But not only that, the home page itself had 83 custom database queries to load the products on the page. He said this was so he could load products from several different categories and custom tables to show on the page. I asked him why he didn't just call a few join queries, and he had no idea what I was talking about.

4.) Almost every image on the website was a .PNG file, 2000x2000 px and lossless. The home page alone was 22MB just from images.

There were several other issues, but those 4 should be enough to paint a good picture. The client wanted this all done in a week for less than $500. We laughed. But we agreed on the price only because of a long relationship and because they have some referrals they got us in the door with. But we told them it would get done on our time, not theirs. So I copied the website to our server as a test bed and got to work.

After numerous hours of bug fixes, recoding queries, disabling Redis and opting for higher innodb cache (more on that later), image optimization, js/css/html combining, render-unblocking and minification, lazyloading images tweaking Magento to work with PHP7, installing OpCache and setting up basic htaccess optimizations, we smash the loading time down to 1.2 seconds total, and most of that time was for external JavaScript plugins deemed "necessary". Time to First Byte went from a staggering 2.2 seconds to about 45ms. Needless to say, we kicked its ass.

So I show their developer the changes and he's stunned. He says he'll tell the hosting provider create a new server set up to migrate the optimized site over and cut over to, because taking the live website down for maintenance for even an hour or two in the middle of the night is "unacceptable".

So trying to be cool about it, I tell him I'd be happy to configure the server to the exact specifications needed. He says "we can't do that". I look at him confused. "What do you mean we 'can't'?" He tells me that even though this is a dedicated server, the provider doesn't allow any access other than a jailed shell account and cPanel access. What?! This is a company averaging 3 million+ per year in revenue. Why don't they have an IT manager overseeing everything? Apparently for them, they're too cheap for that, so they went with a "managed dedicated server", "managed" apparently meaning "you only get to use it like a shared host".

So after countless phone calls arguing with the hosting provider, they agree to make our changes. Then the client's developer starts getting nasty out of nowhere. He says my optimizations are not acceptable because I'm not using Redis cache, and now the client is threatening to walk away without paying us.

So I guess the overall message from this rant is not so much about the situation, but the developer and countless others like him that are clueless, but try to speak from a position of authority.

If we as developers don't stop challenging each other in a measuring contest and learn to let go when we need help, we can get a lot more done and prevent losing clients. </rant>

BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.

1) Stop going to univershity
2) Started python coding at home from online courses.
3) Got the best paid job among batchmates.

Me, doing QA

PM: "stop submitting bug reports about screen size, we're only supporting one resolution for now"

Me: *What do you mean you're only supporting one resolution it's a website and it breaks on screens <1400 px tall*
*Sigh*
"okay, what resolution?"

PM: "No one knows"

Me: *dies*

Behind every successful developer there is a deactivated Facebook profile.

sudo apt-get father

If every issue is a critical, none of them are

Today I found the reason for one of the stupidest bugs I had in like.. ever!

Me and a fellow student are currently porting the infoscreen of our university to HTML.
One of the functions of this screen is showing payed advertising and I was working on loading and displaying the images of our advertisment partners.

I had the whole system in place, and the images loaded.. but they wouldn't show. Upon inspection I saw they were displayed but with a size of 0x0 px.

I spend hours searching the web for javascript bugs, double checking my css file and everything you could imagine. I even asked my CS professor for help and he didn't find the cause for this strange issue I had.

..and then I saw it. A little note in Chromes inspector saying the image style would be set by my user-agent. Despite not trusting that information, I closely inspected my browser.

And then it dawned on me.. I would turn my adblocker off and lo and behold.. it worked!

I then, after celebrating my triumph, changed the tag of the img element from 'advert' to something else…

I've read so many stuff in english that it feels really weird to read something in my native language(german). Especially when they're using german words in their code:

public Nahrung mittagessen;
public Gast()
{
mittagessen = new Gericht("Wiener Schnitzel");
}

are you fucking kidding me?!

I help blind children in weekends.

**blind is a verb here

Ask questions during interview.
Ask about trainings - it's usually a good sign when company offers training budget. Ask about specifics - sometimes it's a shared pluralsight account, and nothing else, which means that that had an idea and half assed it into existence.
Ask tech recruiter about overtime, a good sign is when they have no idea or say that it must be budgeted and scheduled - it means that it does not happen often.
Ask if it is possible to select and change projects, and how often it happens - if often, it may be bad low level management, or people learning new things and jumping between projects.
Also make sure to ask about rules for promotions and pay rises. Good company wił have a clear set of rules in place.
All of the above apply to mid to large companies.
For small company, i'm sure it will be different.

That awkward moment when you realise that your machine is doing more learning than you this semester.

Was asked to make an e-sign system that manipulates PDFs to insert an image and the date at different coordinates on x number of different pages.

200 hours later, it was done. Now I'm the PDF guy

No, "Remove big elephant" is not a suitable commit message. Especially not 15 times in a row 😒

Fren: you suck at design
Me: hold my coffee, you baka gajin

Stickers are finally here. Thanks @dfox and #Devrant!

Designer want me to resize an image from 300x300 px to 900×800 px by using css and still retain the quality by using object fit cover.

* Calls themselves "Software Engineer"
* Doesn't know what a thread is.

I swear these coding boot camps are churning out code monkeys whose real skill is building shitty React apps.

I believe a CS degree is necessary if you want to work on something more than CRUD applications.

Nothing against devs without degrees, but at least make an effort because my head will explode next time I have to explain to someone what a thread is and why it's a very bad idea to run blocking code on the main thread.

Hahahahahahahahahha I'm not going to do anymore of your "quick" projects that result in shit pay and drain me out. I got actual fulfilling projects I enjoy working on hahahahah not again "friend". The audacity of this guy to ask me to handle a big project alone while he sits on his ass and gets a 50% cut. He should have paid attention in school if he wanted to be a programmer. All he does is lie to clients that he can code yet runs to me to do all the work. Hahahah let's see how he gets out of this one. Not gonna help you today "friend".

Weekend starts now!!
Beer, pet projects and weed all a developer needs.

I never touch my code if anyone else have made changes in them without asking me.

I cry like a bitch when I get home.

He should upgrade!

work haunts me to eat

Manager decides to hold our stand-up call on Skype when whole team is in the same room.

How I met python
[long read but worth]

There's nothing wrong with falling in love with a programming language for her looks. I mean, let's face it - Python does have a rockin' body of modules, and a damn good set of utilities and interpreters on various platforms. Her whitespace-sensitive syntax is easy on the eyes, and it's a beautiful sight to wake up to in the morning after a long night of debugging. The way she sways those releases on a consistent cycle - she knows how to treat you right, you know?

But let's face it - a lot of other languages see the attention she's getting, and they get jealous. Really jealous. They try and make her feel bad by pointing out the GIL, and they try and convince her that she's not "good enough" for parallel programming or enterprise-level applications. They say that her lack of static typing gives her programmers headaches, and that as an interpreted language, she's not fast enough for performance-critical applications.

She hears what those other, older languages like Java and C++ say, and she thinks she's not stable or mature enough. She hears what those shallow, beauty-obsessed languages like Ruby say, and she thinks she's not pretty enough. But she's trying really hard, you know? She hits the gym every day, trying to come up with new and better ways of JIT'ing and optimizing. She's experimenting with new platforms and compilation techniques all the time. She wants you to love her more, because she cares.

But then you hear about how bad she feels, and how hard she's trying, and you just look into her eyes, sighing. You take Python out for a walk - holding her hand - and tell her that she's the most beautiful language in the world, but that's not the only reason you love her.

You tell her she was raised right - Guido gave her core functionality and a deep philosophy she's never forgotten. You tell her you appreciate her consistent releases and her detailed and descriptive documentation. You tell her that she has a great set of friends who are supportive and understanding - friends like Google, Quora, and Facebook. And finally, with tears in your eyes, you tell her that with her broad community support, ease of development, and well-supported frameworks, you know she's a language you want to be with for a long, long time.

After saying all this, you look around and notice that the two of you are alone. Letting go of Python's hand, you start to get down on one knee. Her eyes get wide as you try and say the words - but she just puts her finger on your lips and whispers, "Yes".

The moon is bright. You know things are going to be okay now.

var i = 0;
setInterval(function(){
document.getElementById("el").style.width = i + "px";
i+=10;
},100);
And, children, this is how we were used to create animations years ago

When The Matrix has you

When a subordinate doesn't have the initiative to even google what's causing the error. fuck fuck fuck

So client wants like a certain type of stone as the background of his website. Okay fine, I ask him to send me "good high resolution pictures" of the walls.

Some time later, I get the pictures. They're 500x300 px give or take , I mean come on xD

I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

Me: *presenting a demo of tool in office presentation*
Meanwhile an audience is browsing Facebook on his phone...
Me: *Finish demo*
*Said member of audience calmly places his phone on the table.*
Douche: "So can you go over that once more?"
Me: ...

I accidentally created something adorable. See, what happened was I wanted to figure out how to programmatically create blobcats for different countries, since I’d done it by hand for every country represented at my company and wanted a quick way to catch up once we add people from different countries.

Enter Cloudinary!
Wrote a transform that would take the image, shrink it to 150 px wide, then add the blobcat emoji as the underlayer behind and above it, then add the little arms I drew die holding the flag on top.

And that worked! I had a folder of flags and the frontend could query them using the transformations and the country blobcats were born! I even added a preset so I could view the little blobcats with their flags when I looked at the uploaded flags

But then I’m like “Eh, each transform adds a thing against my limit and I really don’t want to go over if this gets popular (why do I ever think _that’s_ a possibility?). I know! I’ll just add the transform on upload and reupload all the flags to a different folder! Then I’ll just need to request the image instead of having to do the transform per request.

And that worked!

But I forgot I still had my preset transform on.

So in addition to the successful country blobcat, I had a preview of what I like to call papa blobcat with kitten blobcat.

I feel like a piece of shit because I don't want to help my "friend" who has been faking being a web developer for years. He now has a real project he must develop that actually requires writing code (It's a serious project that requires real Javascript skills) and he's basically fucked.

He usually would hop on the web and download a template, edit it and get paid. But then again I don't want to help him because he always comes to me and I do all the work and save his ass while he does nothing.

I'm in a rock and a hard place right now because I'm also a dev and I actually have a lot of work to do, unlike his lazy ass.

Damn true.

CSS quick maffs:

Using viewport units to define font size but sometimes it's too small?

Instead of font-size: 10vw;

use font-size: calc(10vw + 20px);

This will make sure that font size is AT LEAST 20 px no matter the viewport width. Treat the resulting font size like a function of viewport width and feel free to experiment with it. With calc in that case you can achieve the best typeface responsiveness possible.

Before new years eve I prepared a sheet on google sheets that allowed people to add drink recipes and order drinks (specify how many of each drink they want), calculated part of budget each person had to cover and generated shopping list of drink components with exact amounts needed.
It was more fun to make that thing than to attend the party.

FUCK.... My laptops LED screen just got a dead px stripe.... And the bad thing is that it is allmost in the middle of the screen.... Oh and it is 60px in length and about 3 px in height!!! And no signs of physical damage to the screen.... so they just died!!!!

And the warranty ended 3 months ago..... Fuck you ASUS!

I wish I knew how to code when I was in his age. 😂😂

Any comments?

it's so fucking hot in here and I've got no work and still 3 hours left to go...just let me go hooome!

That moment when you look at the network performance of the website you've paid a professional company for and realise that there are some 100x100 px jpegs at almost 500kb each and the jquery scripts take 3s to download! o.O

Does no one bother to optimise file sizes these days?

hahahahahahahaaha kill me now plz

Gitlab works great actually!

Woke myself up shouting hdcp at 4:40 am today!!!

I was explaining what hdcp was to my sister in the dream, why the HDMI cable wouldn't work..

Had a chuckle and continued to sleep, realizing what a nerd I am 😆

Who dreams about hdcp and hdmi cables?

Got my new PC up and running!

CPU: AMD Ryzen 5 3400G (APU)
Cooler: Scythe Mugen 5
Mobo: Asus B450-F Gaming ROG Strix
RAM: Crucial Ballistix 2x16GB
SSD: Samsung 2TB M2 Evo 860
DVD: Plextor PX-891SAF
PSU: Bequiet Straight Power 11 550W
Case: Lancool PC-K58 (10 years old)
Case fans: Bequiet Silentwings 3 140mm (front), Silentwings 2 120mm (back)

The cooler is massively oversized for the CPU, but perfect for a silent PC.

OS: Linux Mint 20 Cinnamon

As much as I loved Win 7, but it's over, and Win 10 just isn't acceptable.

I always thought i could use some extra hours a day, but 40 seems a little excessive...

This is also the first time i encountered such a bug in the wild, and i'm way more excited than i should be, hehe.

Client: I told you to change the color of this word! It changes every time I go back to this page. *refers to a hyperlink*
Me: oh okay.

Moving a stupid shadow 1 px up because UX sees everything like a fucking microscope. O bet a million users will he thankful for that and will use the app again. 😑

Dream big

Me ( a python dev) pointing to a good java joke in dev rant to my brother who happens to be working at TCS for the past 5 years as a Java Developer...

Me: Java is shit...
He: huh java is the best! every language in the world is written over java. My manager said this.
Me: I think I will kill him today in his sleep.

#NullPointerIsLife

First day at work, my PC starts updating, reboots and suddenly, the boot partition is corrupt.
Nice way to start in Dev.

Companies! For the love of your peoples sanity give the developers of all ages worthwhile machines. If you send us to clients to develop iOS apps, send macs also 😤

<br>
exit

I recently got interest into web dev and... why isn't HTML + CSS considered art? I keep moving stuff one px to the left, one to the right then back left padding-top :40px, ehh to much, 20px ehh too little 30px ehh lemme just leave it at 40px. It's like when you erase a line on a drawing.

"by the way, the PROD and QA services use the same database tables"

Started a new job last week. Pays a tad below average for position, but i get training time and budget for anything i want.
So far i have had few days of company introduction, and now a week for training courses related to position.
I have not seen any code yet, brought no value in, just joined.
Massive green flag to me.

Just used a laptop without an SSD. I almost died.

Oh, you work in software? I had this cool idea...

I always wanted to be an airforce pilot since I was a kid. Then snes came, spent a great deal of hours playing so many games. I got curious on how they were created and although I did it, I always wondered why people blow on cartridges if the game won't start. Fast forward to CS, Diablo 3, Red alert. I was fascinated whenever I type something on the console and something happened, that got me excited. Add that I was using wordstar and programming HTML/CSS in school when I was just 10-11. When I turned 12, I was programming using Borland C++. It just snowballed from there, curiosity and a series of my programs working made me focus a lot of my time talking to computers (especially when I built robots using lego mindstorms). While my classmates were having a hard tim deciding what course to take in college, I was already certain since I was just a sophomore in high school. I will write and talk to computers until I wear thick glasses.

So there it is, my dev story. Apologies for a lengthy post. 😀

Just found this awesome function in the old commits.

def clean_cache():
'''
This function cleans the stored cache in every update. Make sure to call it before every feature addition.
'''
print 'Cache is cleared. '
return

Anyone else get a feeling that some tutorials are made for trolling purposes? Like, why write an article about the most basic stuff about a particular stack and call it a day? Why copy paste from the docs without adding any new information whatsoever?
Medium.com is the worst offender.

Today's Daily Dev Exercise: practice your patience waiting for clients to email you back.

When it's 20C & sunny and the only thing I have planned during my afternoon is some good 'ol SQL. #liveTheCode

!dev
I'm a hobbyist photographer but lately I've been getting offers to work on major gigs. Apparently people have started liking my photography.
However, just like some programmers are hardliners when it comes to particular stacks, the camera world is riddled with brand loyalists that can't accept that anything other than their camera gear is better. You have Canon/Nikon users who can't wrap their minds around the fact that Sony is making better cameras for the price.
I ask a question about what lens people recommend and a flame war starts about why X camera is better than Y camera.
Guess what, it ultimately comes down to the skill of the photographer and not the camera. All I wanted was a lens recommendation for a particular style of shooting.
Thing is, all modern cameras are more than capable of doing their jobs.

Right now? DeathNote..

`git push origin master --force`

NOOOO!!!!
devRant!!!!!
Who did this to you :(
The Avatar Builder ... you have ...
A BUG
dfox & t-rogus:
1366x768 px
Arch Linux, Firefox

Export my over-attached girlfriend in a UDP packet.

When you have a Database Theory final exam in 2 hours and you're cramming a 1/4 of the module. #uni #student

Me: Ok google
Google assistant: your mic is turned off

In my last year of high school (for those familiar with the Indian education system, that's Class 12), for my final project I made an image compressor/decompressor in Turbo C++ that used a discrete Fourier transform (DCT, actually) to work on 8x8 px blocks of images. I based it off some stuff I found about how JPEG compression works. It worked even better than I'd hoped even though it was slow as molasses (I programmed a naive Fourier transform instead of using a FFT variant). I remember jumping with joy all around my room at 3 o'clock in the morning like an excited gas molecule in a box. Fun times.

Start them young!

Don't you just love customers?

It al began when they showed us the flyers they were printing for their new products, an some one at our company who doesn't work here anymore had the brilliant idea of copying it to their webshop, as a fucking gimmick... Ooohh man the customer didn't seem to understand it was only visually

They wanted the 3d layering effect to be dynamic, so each product would have its own with custom colours

So it was made

A few weeks later they didn't want the informational text, they wanted links to each product that the layer uses

Sounded like logical so it was made

Again some time later, they noticed that the layers were not textured, but just plain

I argued against it because it would add unnecessary loading time for some 300 by 400 px element but they insisted

So they got what they wanted

A few days later they said that the textures were of low quality, and that we had to create ones with higher quality

Again our management said, yes

We made ~ twice the size of the element in image pixels to create a higher definition image

Then the customer wanted that the layers should change based on some selection menu above it

(At this point we realized that it would no longer be just a fun little gimmick)

So we tried to refactor/rebuild it to remove most if not all the hacks we did just to make the customer happy, that took too long for them (the customer) so we had to revert back to the hacked together version because otherwise we would not be done on time (commanded by management)

But again, we ... I say 'we' as in the company but realistically I've been the only one who has worked on the fucking abomination

But I digress...

A few stupid requests later, some layer images are almost fully transparent PNG images that are almost 1mb in Filesize each (some products have 5 or even more layers) and the god damn thing now has to account for optional layers...

I AM FUCKING SPENT... I'VE JUST CAME BACK FROM VACATION BUT I ALREADY NEED IT AGAIN... FUCKING WORKING 60 HOURS A WEEK JUST TO KEEP ONE CUSTOMER HAPPY WHILE OTHER PROJECTS BREATH ON MY NECK

I would like to see a full stack developer version of it.

Found this on 9gag it's fucking hilarious...

5000 scss file with the name global.scss styling.

How fucking dumb can you be to fucking mess up a clean component based architecture like Foundation or Bootstrap and fill it with shit in a single file.

No wonder WP gets shit. The legacy code is usually shit.

And to put the shit cherry on top. This motherfucker had a settings.scss file with all general components and he never used it.

Fucker put different font size in px everywhere! Fucking asshole!!!

keep getting website designs made in InDesign with widths in pt units without any grid and the client complains the layout isn't pixel perfect when 1220pt width doesn't look the same on 1220px. i had to make the desktop layout 1626 px wide...

This is just a temporary workaround. I will come back to this and fix this later. NEVER HAPPENS :)

Saw this in the shop. No way I was going to walk out without getting my hands on it! 😁

can't believe it but things actually have started to fall into place on their own, career-wise. feels unreal. need to work enough to afford a cottage with a cobblestone path & my life will be complete

Seriously how hard is it to observe proper indentation! Don't mix spaces and tabs! That's why I added the .editorrc .jshintrc .jscsrc in the project repo so you'd use it. I asked you to configure your editor and the only thing you configured was your freaking Sublime theme and color scheme. aaaaargh!!!!!

Company i work for just posted updated pay rates.
It's good. They went from lower end of spectrum to a little above the average in terms of pay, and benefits stay the same - solid.

what is the point of having massive HR departments if something as expected and frequent as university hiring can't go smoothly?

i managed to reach the interview round for a big 4 firm only for the interviewer to not show up for 4 hours from my time slot (i waited the entire time - took periodic screenshots for proof), HR to say "we'll reschedule your interview, this happened because of internal miscommunication" more than THREE months ago, and dip. until december they'd repeat the same. now they've ghosted. thanks, virtual hiring.

how is it the candidate's fault? found out this isn't rare by speaking to a few others from my network who i knew were interviewing for the same firm. for students whose lives can change completely based on the outcome of an opportunity that they came across due to sheer luck and could definitely make use of because of their hard work - this is so heartbreaking and demotivating.

Got a call for a software developer post. Arrived early.I was surprised that there were prolly 15-20 people at the lobby waiting for their schedule. When it was my turn, I introduced myself and discussed some of the projects I did. The interviewer interrupted me and told me that she was interviewing for customer support. I immediately left the room after being informed that I was a fresh grad applying for a developer position.

I hate people ranting about “Uhh thats not responsive I sent a screen how I imagined it.“

Open Screen, 1918x703 px WIDE.

Explained for an hour that thats not fucking responsive. Nobody could see or read that even if I were to implement. Responsive fucking means text breaks BELOW the damn pictures to make it readable. I will never fit that on an iphone or something unless he pays extra so i can perform dark magic to force vertical view on some devices and put 100 alert functions that the device is not supported by the site.

Im so mad fuck him and fuck me

Okay so I am a computer science student, and here's what my parents and relatives think I do-
typing random letters and numbers into the computer system until it magically turns into some working mobile app, which is their expectation. While I am coding some addition program just for them to see 2+2=4.

This Monday I start my first job as a junior web developer and a coworker already my first two hours will be free time, don't know how to feel 😓

Meetings.

Too many meetings.

"Why do you explain...." 10kv electrical shock.

Explanation so everyone has the same knowledge.

"But CD ES process of LCE..." Water. From the emergency hose. In the face.

For fucks sake, we are using speech in a meeting so stop using motherfucking abbreviations you shit hole.

"We had bugs". Taking an hot iron and shoving it somewhere nice.

Explain - what the fuck are you talking about? What bugs? Tickets? Documentation? Implications of the bugs? Hate. Much hate.

Um. I don't know. Maybe. But if.

Thumb wrenches.

Please, stop wasting time, if it's non important, a " No " doesn't hurt....

Let me show you. (4k Monitor, 10 px font, bright neon colors, IDE looks like LSD trip in bad).

Crucification.

If you present stuff, good - but for christs sake, shove your motherfucking shitty IDE setting in your own arse and turn on presentation mode with neutral colors - bright or dark mode, I don't care, but readable without danger of seizure.

I can't stream my monitor right now because of "bla" "blabla" (some private shit that has ZERO to do with work).

I'll need some oxy if this goes on.

Not leaning on unit tests. I usually write them after testing my code manually, and lose time for testing feature by hand.

Coffee jar is dangerously low on coffee. Is now a good time to start panicking?

Why does the css border-spacing have to be different in how it takes 2 values.

If you look at margin and padding properties when passing in 2 values, you pass in:

margin: (top/bottom)px (left/right)px;

However, when using border spacing:

border-spacing: (left/right)px (top/bottom)px;

I know I’m simplifying here, but it’s goddamn irritating how it’s takes in vertical and horizontal spacing the other way around. Who the hell thought that was a good idea

Ever tried explaining GitHub to someone? I swear it's like trying to teach a dog to ride a bike. You can try, but it's probably not going to end well.
Okay, rant over. Back to coding... and dealing with merge conflicts... and pull requests... and GitHub issues... sigh.

Some gamers: *Gaming sucks now*
Also, those gamers: *Plays only FPS games*

Like dude, there are so many genres with amazing games that you would have a new game to play every day if you wanted. But oh no, I only play COD and Fortnite and because they suck, every other game in existence must also suck.

Stop playing the same damn games then, maybe you will enjoy gaming once more.
Also, I feel like people complain about FPS games because they expect to win every single match, which is impossible. You will meet sweats and tryhards. That's the reality of any multiplayer game.

Any Person of Interest fans around here? Who's looking forward to season 5?! :D

!dev
fuck call of duty and activision. I finally had time to play with my friends when suddenly I had to download a 56 GB update. Why the fuck does every update have to be big? Then after that monstrous update, if you want to play multiplayer, you still need an additional 22 GB for a multiplayer pack which you already have. This has to be the most clueless company out there. I should have uninstalled this game a long time ago.

Why people loves Java? It's because the maintenance or something in architectural level? I don't understand, because we have languages like Python with a better syntax and languages like C++ with a better optimization and speed of processing

Learning institutions move so slow. Kotlin and Swift are nowhere to be found in this mobile applications course.

Stick to one project about which you want to learn but don't know how to do it,complete it...and now you have learnt something new

Handed resignation. Last week in the job. Ideas?

fucking software licenses

Why the hell does that happen?

I was brought into my new position as part of an transformation of waterfall to agile methodology.

We are now running 4 while projects and need to restart the remaining 29 projects using agile principles. The business management type people love agile, but somehow the people inside the current waterfall practices doesn't.

They are afraid their silo work will either expand or not exist thus making it hard to transform the company. Also the company have been subjected to the dead sea effect.

Therfore, the project that is currently in the space of transformation is making my blood boil because people just ain't passionate enough about software.

Either you craft software, or, well you sit and suckle other's money. People suckling should please grow up and start venturing beyond there cozy 9 to 5 and transform to be a professional software doer rather than a BA, DEV, IT GUY.

YOU BASTARDS GET A SHITLOAD OF MONEY AND DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THE EFFORT YOU BRING.

It is your software, own it, be proud of it. Read up to make it better. And as always, the people debugging your code can be a violent psychopath

css frameworks are a sign your ui/ux team is an empty bag of chips.

vuetify examples look like toys in their docs and work that way in prod. if you put any two vuetify components together on a page you basically dont have a website anymore. mx px are indicators that your styling abstraction is so bad that adding 8 resize shims to every single node on the dom is the correct solution to your visual spacing dilemma.

css offers so many powerful tools out of the box now, and it takes like a week to actually learn them. instead, we cloak all the functionality and expressiveness of modern css in black-box m a t e r i a l d e s i g n and pretend like obtuse blobs are a viable substitute for coherent, accessible, user-friendly ux.

He pushes "build"
But alas
New requirement email

!rant
Successfully built and understood two d3.js visualizations today.
Feels good man

We're all making dirty money!

Just got that after waking up my PC from standby. Seems fine, right?

Me those days:
- Comes home from work, lots of motivation to work on personal projects
- Sits down in front of the PC and starts coding
- Stops coding after 5 because sweat is dripping into eyes
- Lays down in bed completely dead and sleeps until the next day
- Goes to work

Fucking love those temperatures...

Code for Matrix Rain Using HTML

<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<title>Matrix Rain</title>
<style>
* {margin: 0; padding: 0;}
body {background: black;}
canvas {display: block;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<canvas id="c"></canvas>
</body>
<script>

var c = document.getElementById("c");
var ctx = c.getContext("2d");

//making the canvas full screen
c.height = window.innerHeight;
c.width = window.innerWidth;

//english characters
var english = "1001010101110101010101010010101000101011101111010101010110101010101010101110000101";
//converting the string into an array of single characters
english = english.split("");

var font_size = 15;
var columns = c.width/font_size; //number of columns for the rain
//an array of drops - one per column
var drops = [];
//x below is the x coordinate
//1 = y co-ordinate of the drop(same for every drop initially)
for(var x = 0; x < columns; x++)
drops[x] = 1;

//drawing the characters
function draw()
{
//Black BG for the canvas
//translucent BG to show trail
ctx.fillStyle = "rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.05)";
ctx.fillRect(0, 0, c.width, c.height);

ctx.fillStyle = "#0F0"; //green text
ctx.font = font_size + "px arial";
//looping over drops
for(var i = 0; i < drops.length; i++)
{
//a random chinese character to print
var text = english[Math.floor(Math.random()*english.length)];
//x = i*font_size, y = value of drops[i]*font_size
ctx.fillText(text, i*font_size, drops[i]*font_size);

//sending the drop back to the top randomly after it has crossed the screen
//adding a randomness to the reset to make the drops scattered on the Y axis
if(drops[i]*font_size > c.height && Math.random() > 0.975)
drops[i] = 0;

//incrementing Y coordinate
drops[i]++;
}
}

setInterval(draw, 33);
</script>
<body>
</html>

every day my boss says he'll review the requirements for our product. every day he forgets to do so. every day he asks where the update for the next stage is. every day i remind him. every day he forg ---

So I created a desktop app a couple of months ago that relies on IG API. Everything was working perfectly. QA passed and everything was ready for rolling out. Took a
vacation last week, when I came back yesterday it was broken. My backup didn't tried checking what was wrong btw. Turned out IG got strict with its apps on June 1 (sandbox). He waited for me and didn't even bother to try to fix it.

Oh, app will be launched today. Good luck PMs and fuck my backup.

I will train myself to be an avenger. In case things went wrong like ultron.
Anyone wanna join me?
Write your superpowers.

Car reviewers are the bane of my existence.
In one video, a dude reviews a 3rd gen Rav4 and says "don't expect Porsche like performance or luxury materials".
Well, no fucking shit, Sherlock.
Who would've thought? An affordable compact SUV doesn't have sports car performance. Mind = Blown.

Also, vague and subjective criticism such as "unimpressive steering" or "not fun to drive". Not fun how? Whatever the fuck that means.
Dudes want a budget car with a Bugatti engine, that handles like a Porsche but priced as a Honda.

Seriously, why the fuck do these reviewers regurgitate the same shit, over and over again.

A good review must take into account the price of the car. And at most, compare it to similarly priced cars.
Comparing a Corolla to a 911 is down right moronic.

awake for 48 hrs already still needs to code because i'm a slave and i won't be able to sleep if i stop but brain is now lagging halp!

This is a rant about the passion of programming and building in the business world (AKA corporate/startup world)

I speak for myself and I believe many programmers out there who set out on their journey into the world of programming by a certain interest kindled some time when they first wrote their first line of code. We innocently eager, and dream of working for large fancy companies and start making money while doing the thing we love doing the most.

And then... reality hits. We find that most companies are basically just the same thing. Our supposedly creative and mind-challenging passion is now turned into mundane boring repetitive tasks and dealing with all kinds of bazaar demands and requirements. You suddenly go from wanting to change the world to "please move this to left by 10 px". And from experience that drives people to the extent of hating their jobs, and hating the very thing they were once so very infatuated with.

One narrative I see being pushed down the throats of developers (especially fresh young eager developers with no experience) mostly by business people/owners is "WORK FOR PASSION!". I personally heard one CEO say things like "It's not just about a salary at the end of the month. IT IS ABOUT A MISSION. IT IS ABOUT A VISION"...bla...bla...bla. Or "We don't work for money we work for passion". Yeah good luck keeping your business afloat on passion.

What irritates me the most about this, is that it is working. People today are convinced that doing shit jobs for these people are all about passion. But no one wants to stop for a second and think that maybe if people are passionate about something, even if that thing is in the field in which they work, they're not passionate about working for someone else doing something they hate? If I am really working for "passion" why don't I just quit and go work on something that I am ACTUALLY passionate about? Something that brings me joy not dread? It's a simple question but it's baffling to me why no one thinks about it. To me personally, jobs are just that; jobs. It's something to make a living and that's it. I don't give a fuck if you think you're building the next "innovative", "disruptive", "shitluptive" thing :D. Unfortunately that is viewed as "negative limited mentality".

I am quite passionate about programming and making things, but I am not so passionate about building your stupid app/website with a glue code everywhere!

horror stories from my old job: we had to ask to get the internet 'turned on' (of course only for a short period of time), you had to disable loading images, because otherwise you'd have to wait for fucking EVER til you could safely move your mouse and: Google had a massive lag when you scrolled. let me repeat that: GOOGLE. LAGGED. I didn't even know that was fucking possible! and the worst part: my old job was at a software dev company. not a shitty IT department at -I don't know- a bakery?! I mean, wtf?! and it wasn't even a start up. and they still exist! how? why?! I'm still not sure how I managed to work there for five months...

Always have a roll forward plan, backups, and a site B. Especially if you think it is a non critical system.

Trying to debug my program but it only behaves correctly when I run it on debug mode not when I actually run the damn thing :/

Internet is so fucking slow todaaaaay

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

2016: Tech on the ground vs in-flight.

I'll put it this way. Svelte is like Kotlin. It's modern, elegant and a pleasure to work with.
React is like Java. Old, bloated and a pain to work with.
Svelte makes React look like it was built by masochists.

I don't work on frontend often, mostly because I despise the frameworks.
Svelte is a breath of fresh air.
I just want to ship a product quickly and it doesn't get in the way.

So wants to make an AI this summer? #motivation

what are personal projects if not the daughters of hackathon solutions that never saw the light of day

Had a large cappuccino and still sleepy. This is not going well :/

I like working my 10 hours a day. So for the 6 of them I want to pair program with my grads I expect them to be as focused as I am, actually even more, but 25 minutes into a session they just zoom out and start making jokes.

Developer 1: You know what they say, programming is just like sex.

Developer 2: Wait, what? I've never heard that before.

Developer 1: Yeah, you spend all your time trying to fix things that should never have happened in the first place.

!rant
I'm a full stack web dev (LAMP, MEVN), not a sys admin. Besides complete control of my os, are there any benefits to a Linux-based os like arch or ubuntu? I've played around and set up both in VMs, but I'm struggling to find a benefit that justifies the setup commitment.

Uploaded a virtual machine on VCS as an intern. So that people can use my code.

Writting stuff after while(true).

Pro tip: write ugly codes to obfuscate code

What's your favourite Data analytics/ visualisation tool? and why ?

What do you prefer for metrics, px or em?

Postman freaking sucks now. It's bloated and can't easily do what's it's supposed to do without hassle. You have to login first, then it will inexplicably lose all your previous API requests.
I guess the company has forgotten who their base customers are.

I often get distracted by other incompetent teams and preach ddd and tdd to them instead of writing my own code

started a dev apprenticeship recently: 3,5 days at work, 1,5 at school. using/learning c# at school. The title of the ebook they offer us to use: 'c# 2005'
wut?

So anyone think this Viv app (demoed in TechCrunch) is going to be a hit, when Siri and Alexa failed?

Hi guys! We are still searching for another dev to join our team for the hackathon hosted by Deutsche Bank in Berlin (late october). We're currently a team of 2: @ginjikoibito as iOS-/Backend-Dev and me as Designer.
So far the idea we want to apply with goes in this direction: Real-time evaluation of social structures through analyzing wealth & transactions provided by anonymized user-data of the API. It will also incorporate recognizable networks between users.
Sounds interesting? Please leave a comment, we're happy to share more with you :-)

Bug? Pft. Missing semi-colon

Let's just say that I hate configuration of any kind.
AWS IAM, Cloudfront... it all makes me want to end it all.
Why can't this stuff just work?

What did spider-man do in his free time??

He develops Web

Okay so being a developer is mostly like playing a never ending game of whack-a-mole with BUGS, you think you have fixed one until few more pops up like a bad case of acne.
But you know what's even worse? When you finally get something working, and you're feeling all proud of yourself, and then someone comes along and tells you that it's not "visually appealing" enough. "Can't you just add some more glitter and unicorns to the homepage? Oh, and can you make it look like it was designed by a unicorn who majored in art?"

I spent ~12h working on a simple issue/bug.
7h was spent on rebuilding local dev environment which is a clusterfuck of maven profiles, tomcat, some autogenerated degeneracy, and 2 different build systems for JS.
5h spent on actual bug fixing, code reviews and so on.
FML

ANYONE WHO ANSWERS IS A HERO! Im having a CSS issue and yes I’m a CSS noob! I have a flex box with two columns of data and I want the divs to stack when the screen gets narrow enough. The issue is that I want them to stack ordered by a data attribute. I wrote a media query like this

@media (max-width: 767 px) {
.row { flex-direction: column};
.row div { order: attr(data-ordinal) };
}

I want each of the divs to be ordered by the data-ordinal attribute (a number) when the screen gets at most 767 pixels or on a mobile device. I was banging my head for a while on this assshole. Can anyone find the issue here? I may have left out a few details but does this CSS at least LOOK ok? I’m new to media queries. PS sorry, whats the bot that does the highlighting? I forgot it, but luckily this is simple enough to read

💧

There was a 1 second delay when loading images on home page with a bunch of hot model babes in a masonry grid

Why? 💧💧

Maybe pagination is fucked. Lets reduce it from 100 per page to 10.

Still same shit.

What do you think why this could be?

Comment below 👇 right now

(The images im loading are just dummy images from unsplash)

I tried using rxjs. Observables. Flatmaps. Custom array push. Array loop. Change detection to update UI. Chatgpt.

Nothing

Every time i switch tab and come back then theres another second of delay with blank page before content appears

Wtf???

Turns out -- unsplash api was returning me 6K to 8K Fucking images. HEAVY. HEAVY FUCKING IMAGES. and i was apparently displaying 6000x8000 px images, 20 times per page. Thats a lot of fucking pixels! I reduced it with ?w=500 in unsplash api at the end and magically there is no delay now and everything works in an instant.

Fuck off

DevRant Testing

Nothing says asshole like a guy who won't approve your MR even though the feature is working but they prefer implementing it using their preferred approach.
Different coding styles for different folks. What matters is that the approach used is efficient, working and tested. But oh no, you have to write the code exactly how they want it.
Good thing we're free to merge our own MR when the reviewer takes more than two days to merge it.

Send an email.
Or, more seriously: invite only people who must be there, and can add something to the discussion, have an agenda, stick to it, and plan the meeting so that it ends at the start of lunch break. That way everybody will be interested in finishing on time or earlier.

One of my few friends died with unknown reasons. Would it be unethical to hack their accounts to get more info?

Windows apparently does reboots for updates n stuff outside your normal time of usage nowadays.
Windows apparently also thinks that your normal usage shouldn't be over 12 hours.
So now i have to decide if I'm more in the mood for random updates in the morning when i need to get shit done (ugh) or at night when i have finally time to relax.

My rant started today

Anyone here replaced their MBP (Mid-2012) Non-retina's HDD to Raid0 SSD? How is it holding up? Planning to do this in a month

Started to read about MS Azure.
Any recommendations?

One of my friend offered me $500 for creating a virus in "assembly"
I lost $500

How did they program keyboard?

i chose to work late today so I can have the office all to myself. however, I'm surrounded by art directors that keeps on playing cat and/or queer videos.

sorry pm, i guess i'll be taking that buffer and some.

k. bye.

Stop using 'i' in loops

I am currently going to start data structures and algorithms in python...
suggest me a roadmap according to your experience

Why the fuck would Google promote Jetpack Compose as a stable toolset when it doesn't even support a basic feature such as a scrollbar.
A. Fucking. Scrollbar.
LazyColumn can't even come close to being as powerful as Recyclerview.

Here's an idea, before launching something and touting it as something usable, and encouraging people to drop the old, battle tested tool for the new shiny one, how about you make sure the new doesn't lack features present in the old one?
Seems logical, right?

Methinks somebody was just looking for a promotion because, clearly, Jetpack Compose is a half-baked product.
Now, developers will have to suffer because project managers will read about the new framework and ask devs to use it, then wonder why the app is suffering.

If the editor knows where's the error
Then it should solve it on its own.....

I don't know game development but idk I accepted an offer for game development competition..
the fuck I didn't even knew how to make one...
Now I. am working with Ursina Engine....
even the code on google does not work........

Quora or Reddit?

Curious how many others out here have heard of Coderdojo? not plugging it but I'm curious to see how far the institutes reputation has reached

Have you ever tried to re-build your college website?
Your experience??

Get to know the new company better (Changed job shortly before Christmas).
Learn some DPs, DDD, k8s, finish introduction to hacking course, start doing htb and thm machines, finish and defend my thesis, finish books clean code, thinking in java (reading it to fill in gaps on knowledge), a few books about pentesting.
Among non tech goals: pass drivers license exam for cars, another one for motorcycles, go back to learning russian.

Have any of you windows 10 users spotted, that the x^2 button on the standard calculator is slightly bigger by a few px to the left side than the other ones?? 😁 Not sure whether this has been discussed before or not 🙂

for (var i in workload) {
if(!workload.status) {
return;
} else {
process();
}
}

I caught up a scammer last night he was doing some astrology and stuff.
He asked for money......
I gave him a grabify link.....
He gave me his location(accidentally)and told me to teach him the trick....
He wasn't even scared

need more experience for good entry-level jobs, need a good entry-level job for more experience. yay

Got pissed that my story delayed the whole project by 3 weeks (major story, lots of changes, and management decided to put me in a few extra activities outside of the project).
Stayed up until like 23:00 to deliver PR.

What all are the benefits I could get if I host my PHP project in MS Azure Platform instead of hosting into any other.

Does anyone else also feels like "I knew it why I didn't try this way, this was easy" after using stackoverflow

Isn't the subscribe function devrant work like creepy stalking someone...
Like what he commented,liked or posted....

Update of previous post
I just got assigned to a project.
Project-specific training is designed to take up to 20 days.
I got materials, videos, and a person who is in this project for a long time to supervise training and introduce me to the project.
Only problem is that the project apparently uses 5 years old version of base framework.

can someone explain me what are ADT(abstract data types)

which is the best cloud provider for a complete beginner (user/dev) in terms of community support, employer preference and user-friendliness?

i know that understanding the tech and concepts behind it matters more than getting familiarized with a specific platform, but i'm looking to build a more diverse profile and have noticed many positions asking for AWS/Azure experience.

since i'll be starting from scratch, any provider with easy-to-follow documentation, online help and certifications that don't leave you broke (would have to pay myself, earn very less as a student from a third-world country, parents/current employer can't support) would work.