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Search - "yes"
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Manager: We need to setup the security in the Mexico server
Dev: You mean that 3rd party firewall add on?
Manager: Yes
Dev: And set up the billing on the Mexico account?
Manager: Yes
Dev: lol, sure thing I’ll create the ticket
Manager: What’s so funny?
Dev: Nothing
Ticket: Build wall and get Mexico to pay for it.14 -
Yes Linus Torvalds is an asshole and the world is better because of it.
In short Linus's acid takes on code quality over developer fee fee's might be one of the things that has made the Linux kernel and the GNU/Linux project such a long lasting open source success and in my opinion the risk of him falling for all this "let's be nice and non offensive" bs trend may impact negatively on code quality.
Being an asshole has it's downsides and it's not always the best response, I'll give you that, but personally I think most of us who are viewed as assholes are seen like that because we put quality over convenience, facts before feelings and dedication over mediocrity; it is not because we hate you, it's because we measure ourselves with the same stick.
It depends on one's character, but when you've been toughened up because of bullying(I don't doubt many devs have been since being a nerd has never been hip) or life in general, you learn to stop whining & pick yourself up and you expect everyone to be competitive and competent as you are and it gets frustrating to manage people who don't fulfill your expectations.
Pros: You get shit done and you do it well.
Cons: People won't like you and you don't tolerate failure (much less mediocrity).
Yes Linus is an asshole, my coach was an asshole, some of my best teacher's have been assholes, I had friends who were assholes, heck I'm an asshole!
But I thank them because they made me better than I was, just as people have thanked me for being the right amount of asshole.
A warm thank you and fuck you Linus, keep being the asshole we need.36 -
A small story on digitalization
I had spent an hour in the bank with my dad, as he had to transfer some money. I couldn't resist myself & asked:
Dad, why don't we activate your internet banking?
''Why would I do that?'' He asked, ''Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer.
You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!
I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.
He asked, If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house?
''Yes, yes''! I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!
His answer left me tongue-tied.
He said ''Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now.
Two years back I got sick, The store owner from whom I buy fruits, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried.
When u r Mom fell down few days back while on her morning walk. Our local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live.
Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online?
I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller'. It creates bonds. Relationships.
Does "online" deliver all this as well?
Technology isn't life #BeHuman
For those who are not getting the context, this things happen in India. It is truth not a fact.19 -
Manager: This button is too dark, you need to lighten it. Have you no sense of design?
Dev: …
Dev: Hows this for an adjustment?
Manager: Wayyyyy too light now, jesus you need glasses if you think that’s good.
Dev: …
Dev: How about now?
Manager: It’s close, make it just a little more dark. God why does this have to take so long, do I have to hold your hand through this entire process!
Dev: …
Dev: There that good?
Manager: Yes that’s perfect! Send me a PR immediately so I can approve, we need to get this out ASAP, it’s critical!!
Dev: I can’t.
Manager: ????
Dev: There’s no diff, you had me gradually adjust the colour back to exactly what it was originally.
Manager: THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE IT LOOKS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THIS, I HAVE A MEETING I NEED TO GET OFF TO BUT WE WILL BE HAVING WORDS LATER ABOUT THIS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR.
Dev: …16 -
Yes ! It's working !
Wait.. hang on..
This is too simple..
I definitely must've done some blunder that's staring me in the face..
Spends countless hours trying to find it.. breaking it a couple of times in the process..
Okay.. It's cool. It's correct. No blunders.2 -
No-code platforms always like to forget that writing the code is *literally* the easiest part of software development 🙄15
-
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. ♨💨🎈
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions,
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says:
"Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."7 -
Dev: *Recieves email from manager with several typos/grammar mistakes asking to open attachment with strange name and click on tinyurl style link*
Dev: *Flags as phishing*
Manager: Hey how come you didn’t action my email?
Dev: That was actually from you?
Manager: Yes.
Dev: …3 -
boss: please look into tools that do X.
fullstackchris: Ah, here's a solution we can use!
boss: I don't want to use it because it is too complicated.
fullstackchris: ok, that's fine with me...
[one week later] boss: oh I found this nice site that does X, can we do X?
fullstackchris: YES, THAT'S EXACTLY THE SOLUTION I ALREADY FOUND, *AFTER* YOU ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR A SOLUTION, AND IN THE END YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. OH HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?!?!
F*@#! *%*#8 -
My bosses, bosses, boss asked to call me up unexpectedly:
BBBoss:" Just wanted to say we are really happy with your performance, especially in these tough circumstances, ... "
Me thinking: "Ah, great I am getting laid off."
BBBoss: " ... which is why we decided to give you and extra 1000$ in you next paycheck."
Me: "??? ... for real."
BBBoss: "yes, thank you for your hard work."
Me: "I am still employed?"
BBBoss (laughs) :"Yes, we are happy to have you."8 -
Manager: Everyone will be required to switch to Mac in the next couple of months.
Dev: Um, why?
Manager: Macs are more professional and developer focused than windows machines, I read it in an article. Plus they look way nicer.
Dev: Half of the applications we use don’t have a version that works on iOS.
Manager: What? How do you know?
Dev: I have a Mac for occasionally doing some work on the iOS app we support. I ran into that when I was setting it up as a development environment.
Manager: You have a Mac?
Dev: Yes
Manager: Why? How come you don’t use it for development?
Dev: …15 -
Interviewer: Hello I’m calling for your phone interview now
Dev: You’re about an hour early calling but I can accommodate
Interviewer: Well it’s more convenient for me to do it now
Dev: …Alrighty then.
Interviewer: So I am from HR 😇*pause for effect*
Dev: …
Interviewer: Um, typically candidates start the interview by thanking me for consideration for this role.
Dev: Your job description was very vague so I don’t really know what I would be thanking you for.
Interviewer: 😡. It’s me that’ll be determining whether or not to pass you on to The Management.
Dev: …The Management?
Interviewer: Yes 🤗.
Dev: I’m no longer interested *click*.13 -
Manager: You can’t define an async function without using await.
Dev: Yes you can.
Manager: Well you shouldn’t, there’s no point!
Dev: Yes there is. It can turn blocking synchronous logic into work performed concurrently. In this case the perform—
Manager: It’s called async *await*. Async *AWAIT*! Did you hear the two parts to that? You shouldn’t ever have one without the other. THEY GO TOGETHER. Worrying about concurrency is for people who use callbacks which just goes to show how out of date your skills are. I’m reading a book on javascript and there are so many advanced techniques out there that I haven’t even seen you use ONCE!
Dev: …
*I looked at the book he’s reading, it’s from the < ES6 era… no wonder he doesn’t see me using any of those archaic patterns/hacks/workarounds…*13 -
Hide yo' wives and yo' onanism, the haxors are cumin... i mean, coming for you!
Found on Reddit :D10 -
[Certified CMS Of Doom™ moment]
Ah yes, the good old "generate a huge CSV just to know how many rows there are"14 -
Just found a stackoverflow thread that had no answer and 2 comments. Here are the comments:
Person 1: Did you find a solution for this?
Author: Yes, please email me [...@gmail.com].
Bruh, what's wrong with some people???? Writing nothing at all would be better then that7 -
These clowns make my blood boil.
fullStackClown: Hey I need some info on that specific color you want for this design
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this <<sends screenshot>>
fullStackClown: That is not a color, it is a screenshot
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: Do you know what hex code that is for that color? Can you ask the design team what color from our corporate identity they used?
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: Not helping... okay fine I used the eyedropper and I see the hex code is not used anywhere else in our app, so what color should I use?
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: ...22 -
Stakeholder: There’s a bug on the site.
Me: That’s not a bug. The site is supposed to do that. Your team asked for that feature and we implemented it last summer.
SH: They did?
Me: Yes, they did.
SH: You sure it’s been like this since last summer?
Me: YES!!!5 -
Manager: I just created a new ticket! The website flashes when you reload it!
Dev: Yes, that's typically what happens when you reload a website.
Manager: ...
Dev: ...5 -
i hate this "She-EO" crap. they can call that feminism all they want, but all it does is set back women 40 years. yes, your red blazer is gonna break the glass ceiling honey 🙄14
-
~ Freelancer.com Week #1 ~
Project: I need someone to debug an application's code and review it. Budget 30 bucks.
Bid: I am an experienced developer I can probably review it in an hour.
client: Hi, need you to check if app is contains virus [link to scam website]
me: sure, download supposed "social Bitcoin miner" and run some AV tests...8+ positive flags for a Trojan virus.
>Me: It's a Trojan virus mate it's not legitimate😟
>Client: Can you remove the Trojan virus so that the legit not stays?
Me: Umm there is no bot mate it's just a virus 😕 I wouldn't open it outside a sandbox
Client: But here it says Bitcoin faucet bot [links shitty how-to youtube video]
Me: 😒 it's not real dude you are about to get scammed, I can test it in a VM if you. . .
Client: I opened it already, it's working
Me: 😮 r u sure?
Client: yes, can you install VM for further testing?
Me: sure, in your computer?
Client: yes
Me: just download the windows image and text me when it's done
Client: My disc is full! Only 3 gb left
Me: 😑 call me when you clean it
Client: [ offline ]5 -
Ah yes, write your own fucking website crawler in PHP and deoptimize so hard that it uses some gigabytes of RAM and takes about 1 hour to crawl the very own website it's running on.
Oh and don't forget to download every single image and video file in order to "crawl" it for extremely valuable text content.
What a genius move! I'm really impressed.7 -
Worst meeting. Hmm..
Embarrassment wise maybe the one where my boss called me the queen of porn in front of everyone. Yes, classy AF. (Just have to know him to know his sense of humor I guess).
Most cringe worthy meeting was probably when our out of state national director came in and basically told us he has no clue what we do nor does her care to learn. We brought up salaries to him as well as we're in the bottom 8th percentile for the industry in our area with HUMONGOUS work loads, like 20 sites per developer at once. This is a huge multi-million dollar corporation, mind you. We told him some of us have to have 3 jobs to survive and he basically said well you're an at will employee so there's the door. He also took phone calls and sent emails during my one on one meeting which we never finished even though he promised to. But he bought us a shirt, so you know, it's all cool. 🙄11 -
Udemy courses are targeted at ABSOLUTE beginners. It's excruciating to pull through and finish the course "just because". And some of these courses are jam-packed with 30-60 hours just for them to appear legit, but the reality is the value you get could be packed to 3-5 hours.
You're better off just searching for or watching for the things that you need on Google or YouTube.
You'll learn more when building the actual stuff. Yes, it's good to go for the documentation. Just scratch the "Getting Started" section and then start building what you want to build already. Don't read the entire documentation from cover to cover for the sake of reading it. You won't retain everything anyway. Use it as a reference. You'll gain wisdom through tons of real-world experience. You will pick things up along the way.
Don't watch those tutorials with non-native English speakers or those with a bad accent as well. Native speakers explain things really well and deliver the message with clarity because they do what they do best: It's their language.
Trust me, I got caught up in this inefficient style a handful of times. Don't waste your time.rant mooc bootcamp coursera freecodecamp skillshare tutorial hell learning udacity udemy linkedin learning8 -
I started to get super pissed off to people saying you don’t need a college, masters degree to get an IT job. Instead go and gain practical knowledge, showing your practical certificates projects is much better than a having a degree that doesn’t prove if you can do the job or not.
Is a degree absolutely necessary to get a job? No, I agree on that. You can tear yourself apart to be known make projects loads of people contribute in GitHub spend maybe years on practicing and creating stuff for your portfolio..
But excuse me what do you think people do in college studying degrees? Are we getting it from the shop in the corner on a Saturday?
Respect people’s achievements and titles. Especially Masters degrees push you hard, make you sweat apart from loads of courses you work at least a year on a practical project, dissertation, thesis and only pass if it is your own opinion and findings. It is not like a multiple choice exam certificate or you study watch videos for few months and create a web page.
Don’t throw shit on people’s efforts and accomplishments without knowing how it is achieved just because you don’t have it.
Yes it is not necessary. Does it make you learn? Yes! Is it practical? Yes! Does it help you get a job? Hell yes! Why most companies look for degrees? Do you think they might know what it takes to get it and the skills and knowledge you gain?
Don’t come and say in IT degrees not worth it without even knowing how to draw UML. Without knowing IT management you go and be a leader later on, no clue on how to manage projects, people and soft skills sweeping the floor.
It doesn’t matter if you are a YouTube celebrity or a president. What does the title say? “Master” now go, respect and digest it! Don’t be a sour loser.
Ooh I am fierce today and not done yet12 -
Professor: Envision a person as an object, what methods would it have?
Student: Run
Prof: Yes, good example.
Other student: Jump
Prof: yes, people also do that
Me: Die
Prof: Well yes, but I'd prefer we don't take this any further29 -
Do NOT "compress" your code by leaving out braces in control structures and putting the 300 char statement on the same fucking line as the control structure!
Yes, your code file becomes vertically shorter than the usual 3000 lines, BUT my brain tumor proportionally grows larger.7 -
Recruiter: "How do you see the future of the field?"
Me: "... How do I see the future of neurorobotics?"
Hom: "Yes"
Me: 😐 *baffled*8 -
After creating a logo *for free* for a client who I thought was a friend, they started getting really ungrateful and demanded me to do things in a not very calm way ("DO THIS", "DO THIS RIGHT NOW") (yes, it was actually in caps). I kindly asked them to stop using the graphics while informing them that the license used didn't let me actually force them to remove it. After that, they started yelling about how "he'd have to redo all the graphics again". All he did was put the vector logo inside a raster circle and change the font. Yes, he really did convert vector graphics to raster and didn't use the originals at all. Not only this, but he also used *aliased* raster images.
He ended up using them anyway, informing me in a cheeky way after being kicked out of a group chat (which I wasn't even the moderator of). See the picture attached for how he did that, red is the client, orange is the moderator who banned him.
TL;DR: Don't do free stuff, regardless of how bad you think your skills are.13 -
You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.
What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"
DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!
MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.
my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.
#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!4 -
Well, shit... I may have just shot myself in the foot. 🤔
5 years worth of asking my boss to get a Mac development machine for me, thereby allowing me to better create and maintain the hybrid mobile apps I've been building for him for years...
I finally got a definitive "yes, we'll do that" about 2 or 3 weeks back.
Now, running into stupid startup crashes on the aging iPad (6th gen) that I have for testing, I asked if I can just get a "Mac in cloud" subscription IN THE MEANTIME, you know, to help me meet deadlines...
His response: "Ah, yes.. that's a nice elegant solution, now you don't need a Mac! Well done."
F.. M.. L..9 -
Friend : I will do this when I get back from work.
Me : But you are working from home, aren't you?
Friend : Yes, but I am at work, right now.
Me: And how does your route back home look like?
Friend : I switch input source from my work's laptop to gaming rig.6 -
They shut down the project I was working for, Again!
Yes, I learned a lot
Yes, I felt important
Yes, it was something I am proud of
But damn...
For once, I want the things I do to see the light of day...9 -
TM: Hey, do you have a moment?
Me: not really, I'm already overtime and have enough work for the whole year.
TM: Yeah, we know. Just a quick meeting to discuss something awkward.
Me: Hmkay.
...
Later that day:
TM: Yeah. To make it quick - we're confused and bit dissatisfied with how project X turned out. The staging server is blazing fast, but the devs machines seem to be extremely slow... Some devs complained.
Me: No wonder. I said from the beginning that the devs shouldn't do X and Y, and that the dev machines need to be redone after staging is done - as we need to gather hands on experience first, cause no one could explain to me what resources the project actually needed.
TM: Oh. I wasn't aware of that.
Me: I guessed so. You were on vacation at the beginning and I didn't had the time to lead another team...
TM: Yeah... So the dev machines get replaced?
Me: They _could_ be replaced, but the devs would need to reset up their environment, as I and won't transfer the environment of the dev user.
TM: Ah... So they would have to retransfer their personal modifications, if they made any?
Me: Yes. As always, the basic setup just provides the necessary services, settings etc. - stuff like remote IDE settings on the machine, configuration etc is left out and we don't transfer it as it is usually too much of a hassle and risky, as every dev does have his / her own preferences, and we don't want to support every possible configuration out there.
TM: Just out of curiosity... Staging was ready like... Last year?
Me: Beginning of December, yes.
TM: Sigh.
Me: The jolly of having a kinder garten full of toys that no kid wants to clean up...
TM: No comment. The kinder garten Kids might make me a Pinata otherwise.
Me: If only they'd fill us with chocolate first instead of just beating us.
...
Tales of lazy devs, to be continued...3 -
Boss: Our app is to memory consuming and heavy weighted. We to do something because we will have hunsdrets of thousands of users.
Dev: Yes, there are a lot of legacy parts which leave plenty of space for optimization. Every query have to be carefully analyzed. Some can be avoided at all.
Boss: We pay externals to do some clustering with our app.5 -
I built our slack bot messages so that they are prefixed in BIG LETTERS with whatever system they originate from, i.e.:
"DEVELOP: You are a useless product manager"
"STAGING: You are a useless product manager"
"PRODUCTION: You are a useless product manager"
One of these is when a payment is made on our platform. Our lovely product manager proceeds to message me, "did you just trigger a payment in the test system?".
YES, OBVIOUSLY I DID SEEING AS THE MESSAGE HAS THE GIANT WORD "STAGING" IN FRONT OF IT!!!
https://lmgtfy.app/?q=how+to+read1 -
Useless feature I've built?
Too many to mention. Here's #25.
Modified an existing "Are you sure..?" dialog pop-up (Yes/No buttons) to Yes/No/Cancel. Why? Managers claimed users were "accidentally" clicking 'Yes' when they should have clicked 'No' and causing all kinds of chaos, costing the company money, etc. Managers believed giving the user two chances instead of one would make it easier to avoid the problems they caused.
The meeting:
Me: "Users can click 'No', hit the 'Esc' key, or click the close 'X' button on the window, how will an extra button make it more foolproof?"
Mgr1: "It just will. Andy accidentally deleted inventory and when I asked him if an extra button would have saved them a days worth of re-counts, he said yes."
Mgr2: "Barb accidentally credited a customer $1,500. She promised me she clicked 'No', but the system credited the account anyway. An extra button would have saved us thousands of dollars!"
Me: "Um...these sound like training issues, not an extra button issue."
MyMgr: "PaperTrail, how hard is it to add an extra button?"
Dev1: "Oh yea, adding buttons is easy."
Dev2: "I can do it 5 minutes"
Dev3: "We'll save the company thousands and thousands of dollars!"
<lots of head-knodding and smiles>
MyMgr: "That settles it. PaperTrail, add the extra button!"
Users still screwed things up, but at least they couldn't blame it on not having an extra button.24 -
God, I love when people name stuff right. Now I'm reading through an open source project, trying to find out how they solved a critical issue I'm facing now. It's not a small one but navigating through it is a breeze. Look through variable/function names and I don't even really need to read the code. Meanwhile, last assignment, there was "yangDataHandler" and "yangDataManager" that, obviously, had nothing to do with each other in either interoperability or functionality - and then half of the variables would get aliased to abbreviations. Uh, yes, sure it's obvious what
𝚋𝚣𝚋𝚠𝚒 variable means. Just let me run it through 𝚒𝚍𝚣𝚍() function.10 -
Usually when you ask "I have a problem with service X, who wrote it?".
The answer is "Y wrote it but he left the company XYZ years ago".
In company I currently work the the answer is "Oh yes X wrote it 20 years ago, go ask him"11 -
Customer call.
Customer: what's the status of the software?
Me: it's a bit of wood work.
Customer: wood work?!
Me: yes, I think it would work.
Customer: ...
Me: ...6 -
Biggest challenge I overcame as dev? One of many.
Avoiding a life sentence when the 'powers that be' targeted one of my libraries for the root cause of system performance issues and I didn't correct that accusation with a flame thrower.
What the accusation? What I named the library. Yep. The *name* was causing every single problem in the system.
Panorama (very, very expensive APM system at the time) identified my library in it's analysis, the calls to/from SQLServer was the bottleneck
We had one of Panorama's engineers on-site and he asked what (not the actual name) MyLibrary was and (I'll preface I did not know or involved in any of the so-called 'research') a crack team of developers+managers researched the system thoroughly and found MyLibrary was used in just about every project. I wrote the .Net 1.1 MyLibrary as a mini-ORM to simplify the execution of database code (stored procs, etc) and gracefully handle+log database exceptions (auto-logged details such as the target db, stored procedure name, parameter values, etc, everything you'd need to troubleshoot database errors). This was before Dapper and the other fancy tools used by kids these days.
By the time the news got to me, there was a team cobbled together who's only focus was to remove any/every trace of MyLibrary from the code base. Using Waterfall, they calculated it would take at least a year to remove+replace MyLibrary with the equivalent ADO.Net plumbing.
In a department wide meeting:
DeptMgr: "This day forward, no one is to use MyLibrary to access the database! It's slow, unprofessionally named, and the root cause of all the database issues."
Me: "What about MyLibrary is slow? It's excecuting standard the ADO.Net code. Only extra bit of code is the exception handling to capture the details when the exception is logged."
DeptMgr: "We've spent the last 6 weeks with the Panorama engineer and he's identified MyLibrary as the cause. Company has spent over $100,000 on this software and we have to make fact based decisions. Look at this slide ... "
<DeptMgr shows a histogram of the stacktrace, showing MyLibrary as the slowest>
Me: "You do realize that the execution time is the database call itself, not the code. In that example, the invoice call, it's the stored procedure that taking 5 seconds, not MyLibrary."
<at this point, DeptMgr is getting red-face mad>
AreaMgr: "Yes...yes...but if we stopped using MyLibrary, removing the unnecessary layers, will make the code run faster."
<typical headknodd-ers knod their heads in agreement>
Dev01: "The loading of MyLibrary takes CPU cycles away from code that supports our customers. Every CPU cycle counts."
<headknod-ding continues>
Me: "I'm really confused. Maybe I'm looking at the data wrong. On the slide where you highlighted all the bottlenecks, the histogram shows the latency is the database, I mean...it's right there, in red. Am I looking at it wrong?"
<this was meeting with 20+ other devs, mgrs, a VP, the Panorama engineer>
DeptMgr: "Yes you are! I know MyLibrary is your baby. You need to check your ego at the door and face the facts. Your MyLibrary is a failed experiment and needs to be exterminated from this system!"
Fast forward 9 months, maybe 50% of the projects updated, come across the documentation left from the Panorama. Even after the removal of MyLibrary, there was zero increases in performance. The engineer recommended DBAs start optimizing their indexes and other N+1 problems discovered. I decide to ask the developer who lead the re-write.
Me: "I see that removing MyLibrary did nothing to improve performance."
Dev: "Yes, DeptMgr was pissed. He was ready to throw the Panorama engineer out a window when he said the problems were in the database all along. Didn't you say that?"
Me: "Um, so is this re-write project dead?"
Dev: "No. Removing MyLibrary introduced all kinds of bugs. All the boilerplate ADO.Net code caused a lot of unhandled exceptions, then we had to go back and write exception handling code."
Me: "What a failure. What dipshit would think writing more code leads to less bugs?"
Dev: "I know, I know. We're so far behind schedule. We had to come up with something. I ended up writing a library to make replacing MyLibrary easier. I called it KnightRider. Like the TV show. Everyone is excited to speed up their code with KnightRider. Same method names, same exception handling. All we have to do is replace MyLibrary with KnightRider and we're done."
Me: "Won't the bottlenecks then point to KnightRider?"
Dev: "Meh, not my problem. Panorama meets primarily with the DBAs and the networking team now. I doubt we ever use Panorama to look at our C# code."
Needless to say, I was (still) pissed that they had used MyLibrary as dirty word and a scapegoat for months when they *knew* where the problems were. Pissed enough for a flamethrower? Maybe.9 -
Our software needs apache, php, mysql and node of certain versions installed. This is too many dependecies for our customers.
Let's dockerize!
Now they need docker, docker-compose, make, bash and python in a certain version. What an improvement!
I mean yes but hm.10 -
Yes yes yes
Let's spend countless hours writing painful spaghetti that generates a financial report, extend that spaghetti for specs, then not bother to check the amounts or status. or where it says the money went. Nope, checking non-unique names is totally good enough. We're so good at this. Ten points to the legendaries.
Let's also make the object factories not create the objects correctly, and make sure that report includes entries for orders that don't include any actual payments. Oh, their status? "Ready to send" of course! Let's send that totally valid $0.00 to nobody!
Oh, but Root. Root, root, root. You can't ADD payments to this. no no no. if you do, it'll break specs everywhere else that uses that factory! Shame on you for suggesting it.
Pssh, now you want to make a payment just for this report? Why would you do that? Our best devs have been working on this for years! What could you possibly know that they don't? No, they're perfect. Don't touch them. Just make them better, okay? No take, only throw!5 -
Interviewer: *looking at my GitHub* do you use devrant?
Me: ...yes
Interviewer: ok, cool
I had an interview once where the dev interviewing me recognised that I had devrant avatar as my github profile picture.
Maybe that was one of the reasons they didn't get back to me after that interview? 🤔7 -
The Internet has gotten weird to a point that the girl I wanna go out with said yes after me sending this picture as a conversation starter.
Image relevant16 -
Java's shitshow, or why I'll never like java, the language:
The fact that you cannot read the length of an iterable at any point in time without iterating through it. Did I just read this from DB? Yes, I did. Do I know how many items I read? No. Why? Because fuck the designers of this shit language and all its shitty third-party libraries. 😠😠😠19 -
MFA authentication setups that don't support standard authenticator apps, like 1Password or Google Authenticator can burn.
Yes, Microsoft, I am looking at you.12 -
I watched today one of our devs working in Windows with a Docker Environment.
I think I'm pretty insensitive regarding pain, horror and morbid stuff.
But damn. I really needed to turn off the stream or else I'd walk to the company and rip his fucking workstation out of the server rack to put it out of his misery...
Errors? ignore them....
Weird python messages? Ignore them...
wild copy pasta between notepad++ containing shell commands and a git bash... Per mouse context. Yes. Move the cursor, mark the text, right click, copy, go to terminal, right click, paste.
Understanding of whats happening. Zero. Like literal zero.
He was wondering why there were strange characters when he pasted log output in a text file...
My question: How do you think colored text works in a terminal environment?
was answered by : "Don't know, never thought about it. But don't think this has something to do with the weird characters?"
I don't wanna talk about the rest.
Retarded humanity can please kindly kill itself so the intelligent above average nice people can live in peace...
The meeting was 2 hours. I drank 5 bottles of beer after it in1 hour and I'm please to announce I'm forgetting large parts of what has happened.
Cheers.8 -
Exercise devs, exercise, exercise and then exercise a little bit more
I've been coding for a long time and tbh programming is a very fiscally stale labour/hobby and even if your mind is rushing looking for answers, jumping from one place to another you are not moving that much, yes adjustable desks for programming while standing up are good and having breaks also helps but nothing like running, jumping, climbing or any sport.
During my lifetime I've seen the long and short term negative effects of sedentary jobs, back problems, liver problems, hormonal imbalance, overweight, depression, and anxiety.
I've been fiscally active for a long while but when I stopped, the first symptoms I had were weight gain, anxiety and depression, one night I even broke a tooth from stress teeth grinding.
Ive seen that people here might be having this issues and think it's normal, but try it out, start with a walk or jog sprinkled on your weekend.11 -
We work with about 7 developers at this company with 80 somewhat websites in production.
We edit changes directly trough FTP and we use ctrl+z as version control...
(yes since i started working here I've been demanding git, I'm spearheading it and we are getting there slowly)4 -
Girlfriend: How much water did you drink today?
Me: About 3 litres.
Girlfriend: How much of that is coffee?
Me: 5 cups.
Girlfriend: How can you count coffee in that?
Me: Why not?
Girlfriend: It's diuretic.
Me: Yes, but it's still water that goes through my body.
Girlfriend: You're such a smart-ass, huh?
Me: Well, yes, I am.
Girlfriend: So why are you so tired if you think you're drinking enough water? Well?
Me: Never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.
Girlfriend slammed the door.
So no, women don't want honest men. Guys, lie, lie, lie.
And now I can look at the error message.14 -
this is ridiculous...
I have to use a tool that only works on IE browser. (yes, I know, sucks. Regardless...)
1. open up the IE. Navigate to https://google.com
2. google is opened in Edge instead
3. Edge insists on setting Edge as default
4. google.com loads up and insists on installing and using Chrome as default.
... I just wanted to search for stuff and instead, I got 2 offers to change my browser....8 -
DEAR CTOs, PLEASE ASK THE DEVELOPER OF THE SOFTWARE WHICH YOU ARE PLANNING TO BUY IN WHAT LANGUAGE AND WHAT VERSION THEY ARE WRITTEN IN.
Background: I worked a LONG time for a software company which developed a BIG crm software suite for a very niche sector. The softwary company was quite successfull and got many customers, even big companies bought our software. The thing is: The software is written in Ruby 1.8.7 and Rails 2. Even some customer servers are running debian squeeze... Yes, this setup is still in production use in 2022. (Rails 7 is the current version). I really don't get it why no one asked for the specific setup, they just bought it. We always told our boss, that we need time to upgrade. But he told every time, no one pays for an tech upgrade... So there it is, many TBs of customer data are in systems which are totally old, not updated and with possibly security issues.9 -
"due to the amount of applicants, we can't respond to every applicant email"
let me translate the manager-speak for you: "due to us being stuck-up douchebags, we feel as though our company is more valuable than literally the 2 minutes of time it takes to write a yes or no email, so we'd rather keep you hanging and never give you feedback. oh yeah we're also not professional at all"
god why the FUCK am i even applying for jobs, each place is more shittier and toxic than the next5 -
Dude picking his brain over my coke. Yes I mean attempting to tickle his brain trough the nose hole.
A piece of nasal excrement landed in my coke and made it go fizz, that was how I noticed.6 -
first off, they've defined (just yesterday) FOUR (not ONE) features to be done by the end of the month (yes really no joke, i mean _this_ month, as in october, i.e. they mean by monday)
four of them still have "to be defined" labels
so, what, you guys gonna define those today so we have uh.... all of friday to do them?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
We were in a meeting today and it came my turn to talk.
me: "I am working on something not fun. I am tracking down a bug in X software that a customer has issues with."
boss: "It is like an easter egg hunt."
me: "Yes, but instead of eggs I am going to find a pile of crap."
boss: "Laughs..."
me: "Its not chocolate..."
boss: "next..."
The original code I am wading through is very likely my boss' code.3 -
My gym decided to adopt a fitness app so members could sign up for classes. Their onboarding was terrible (to be nice about it). I really hate when businesses don’t understand the technology they want to use.
Me: I downloaded the app, but all the classes say to call the gym.
Gym: Are you using the email that’s on file for your apartment?
Me: Yes, I am because I read the gym’s instructions for using the app.
Gym: …
Me: I think the issue is I had an existing account on the app before the gym decided to use the app for its business.
Gym: Then that’s the problem. Delete your account and sign up for a new one.
Me: WTF 🤬 I am not deleting an account that I’ve had FOR YEARS just because you can’t figure out technical issues with the vendor. How did it never occur to you that gym members might already have accounts for a fitness app that’s been around for years and used by other businesses? Besides, this app doesn’t let users delete accounts from the app so I don’t know where you’re coming from with telling me to delete my account. -
4 hours! four fucking hours! f.o.u.r. h.o.u.r.s.!
It's the amount in the time domain this bug has cost me to fix. The cost in the sanity domain is immeasurable...
I swear, the god damn ass births of devs who coded this abomination should be slowly mutilated and then raped by their own severed limbs.
It took me 4 hours to figure out that their 12 year old binary CLI tool they used to generate PDFs from PHP could not handle neither HTML5 nor some linebreaks at specific places. Some part of it is due to them using REGEX to find and replace HTML tag.
Yes, I am indeed very pissed. And I need a 🥃 or 3
What we learned:
- Don't use REGEX to "parse" HTML
- Don't call random compiled CLI tools from PHP if there are PHP packages to do the same shit9 -
i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!
Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.rant mysql legacy code gone wrong bourbon lots of bourbon why the fuck god no php sql injection ftw what in the flying fuck33 -
I tweeted a silly story about how I accidentally hacked my principal's email account when I was in middle school. (Yes, I did say "accidentally". The school network's security was that bad.)
Within minutes I had four replies telling me to contact people on Instagram to get my hacked account back. I guess I said the magic words and triggered some bots.
https://twitter.com/EmberQuill/...4 -
Wish me luck. I HAVE to launch 10 websites (yes, ten) this week and half if not all of the clients don't know their DNS accounts or log ins. I foresee a lot of long nights in my near future. Story of our life, right?5
-
Because DevOps in a lot of organizations is really “help desk for clueless developers”, conversations like this happen a lot:
Dev “hey the thing seems to be not working right”
Me “what does that even mean? I need you to be a good deal more specific. What thing. What isn’t working?”
Dev “I dunno”
Me “Are there error messages?”
Dev “yes”
Me “….would you like to share them with me?”
Dev *sends error*
Me “ok did you actually read this error message?”
Dev “yes”
Me “…so you’re good then? It says you’re trying to use a variable that hasn’t been declared yet. You should fix that. “
Dev “…”
Me “good luck”14 -
Half way through a 2 hour deployment, and a fucking test fails.
Yes, it takes 2+hours to run the tests.
Rerun in test environment: pass
Rerun in prod: pass
Rerun changed test in prod: fail..
Why, why you got to hate me for?
I love it when production is the place where config gets changed.rant tests are good multi environment changes tests can go fuck off right now tests save lives inconsistencies hurt5 -
So, I'm trying to process the feelings from not getting accepted for the PhD project I applied for a while back. And it's just unfair. They've recruited people with no publication and less GPA than me. I also doubt any of them would be field-wise more relevant than me tbh. (Wouldn't be surprised if they hired MBA grads) I have all the relevant qualifications that even people working on that project do not have. I could easily get this project going beyond what they are doing with it rn. It's unfair. But it's life. And life goes on.
Am I angry? Yes. Am I disappointed, also yes. They didn't give me any alternative offers either. So I am going to steal the project and finish it so they have to throw all the money they've invested in the toilet.
... If only I wasn't depressed and could bring myself to apply elsewhere again. 🙄11 -
@OmerFlame wanted to see more of Soviet pirate stuff, so there you go buddy. This is an example of Samizdat (“self-publishing”) — Soviet people made books of dissident literature that was forbidden in the Soviet Union.
This very book was made by my grandma, with lace fabric cover and sheets cut evenly with care and precision. Everything was typed on a typewriter, yes, the thing that renders the whole page useless with one mistype, as there is no backspace key.
This book dated 1975, the poetry of Nikolay Gumilyov.9 -
Motherfucking YES!!!
I passed my final exam for my trade degree. Now I'm officially qualified as an IT-Administrator.4 -
It's official, I've come full circle:
"I assume you're not looking for a new opportunity right now, but do you know anybody that might be interested, or do you have someone to refer?"
Yes, let me do more work for you, even though you aren't interested in me at the moment. Shameless linking to a previous post which is the same: https://devrant.com/rants/5404347/...
At this point, I'm convinced its going to repeat until about 2050 when the entire software industry comes to a complete and catastrophic standstill.3 -
Me talking with my manager for handover before I leave. Just found out, there is an interview for my position, full stack dev.
No one bother asking me or the manager for tech interview and general manager from business interview alone by herself.
Manager: Do you code?
Poor soul: Yes, I do.
Manager: You are hired!
Shit, now I want to know what they ask to tech candidate without tech ppl.6 -
*In teams meeting with client*
Manager: Yes we can do all of that and it will be actioned very quickly. We will make all of these feature requests top priority. We will set aside everything we are currently working on in order to get this done!
Dev: ...Are you writing any of this down?
Manager: I don't need to, I always remember everything!
Dev: Just so you are aware, I'm not writing anything down. You're going to need to create a ticket with requirements spelled out for each one of these promises you're making otherwise they won't get actioned by the team.
Manager: I know that!
Dev: ...
*Later that day*
Ticket Title: Action client feature requests TOP PRIORITY!!!
Ticket Description: *empty*
Dev: ...8 -
Me: “Hey boss, you assigned these things to me that I’m not qualified for and have no experience in. We should really hire someone with the specialized skills in this”
Boss “I agree. It’s a role I desperately think we should have hired for a long time ago”
Me “Ok so about these tickets the-“
Boss “I need you to write up a justification for this role, what kind of work the person would be doing and what budget implications we will incur”
Me “You’re asking me to write a job description for a class of work I’ve already admitted I have no experience or qualifications doing MYSELF?”
Boss “Correct”
Me “and I’m still responsible in the meantime for getting these other tickets done still aren’t I?”
Boss “Yes”
Me “Very well. I’ll email you a recap of this discussion then so we can come back to it later when we start hiring for the role”
(and so my ass is sufficiently covered when I inevitably bring down prod and people start asking why I broke prod)5 -
Devs: Can we please get adequate hardware to do our job correctly? Please, just a new set of larger monitors.
Lower management: Sure, this is going to be easy.
Upper management: Wait what? This will cost us around 500€ times 10? Any maybe in the end other departments will want that to, so make it times 100.
We're a 4+ billion company ... but yes, please, I love scroll bars and they make my work so much faster.4 -
At this point, I just feel bad for my coworker.
No, I am not frustrated or angry, just feeling terribly bad for her as how difficult life must be for someone so dumb.
We are introducing a new method to track some data in our product, like total number of sign-ups, DAU, etc.
Now the implementation is already WIP and this is known to all.
The dev has documented the approach where he has mapped the screen name, a screenshot, and a snippet of the schema that tracks that particular screen.
I kid you not guys, this coworker somehow landed on that document and started some scientific study to try and extract data.
Yes, she looked at the schema screenshot and spent like few hours trying to decode it to figure out the sign-ups and DAU.
Data via a screenshot in a document. I can't even express it.
And then texts me in panic mode that she isn't able to access the data because the file is . jpeg within a document.
I asked where is she executing the schema, because I thought she is joking initially. She said she doesn't know and asked me where she should execute it.
My mind is numb. Life must be real hard when you are so fucking dumb.21 -
I'm pretty sure that the technical tests for FAANG are just to prove that you'll bust your ass doing trivial bullshit for them / and that you're a sucker -- instead of actual meaningful skill checks. Is this guy a total sucker who will drink our Koolaid when it's time? Are they wearing Nike? Yes. This is going to be a good investment.
I was down and out once and got a job a Micheal's Art and Crafts store. The application was clearly a mindfuck test. It asked, "If your boss was stealing - would you report them?" BTW - the answer is "No." You only report people below you. I answered in the way I knew the computer wanted me to - and I got the job. Same shit.
Are you subordinate? You're hired.2 -
Let's say you have a MySQL database table for jobs. Each job has 1 associated ticket. You want to keep track if the ticket is closed or not. Every sane person creates jobs table, tickets table, keeps bool value for ticket state and relationship between them.
But because our database is designed by a half braindead amoeba, we have one table only, so each job has to be updated individually with a new ticket number and its state. Beacuse it sooo much faster to update (daily!) 13k jobs than just 100 tickets.
As a bonus - if the ticked is closed, the column "ticket_closed" is "No", if it's still open the value is "FALSE". Yes, both as varchar/strings.7 -
Most confusing sign-up form checkbox I've ever read:
"If you would like us to no longer continue to stop not sending you special deal and offers every week, please indicate you are inclined to yes by not checking the box."
source: online course10 -
Once upon a time we were normal remote professionals and our sprint meetings were characteristically professional, no more, no less.
Until.
one of our juniors, a Southern sports-bro type, suddenly started saying "SIR" to the scrum master in literally every sentence.
"Good morning sir". "Yes sir." "Thank you sir." "I can do that sir."
SOMEHOW this plague caught on to half of the male members of our team like we're in the military or something. We have ONE veteran and ZERO Indians and I can't think of a logical explanation for why we're suddenly sir-ing each other and people who aren't even high level executives.9 -
I do believe, genuinely that “I don’t know” is sometimes an acceptable answer. If you don’t know, you don’t know. I appreciate the honesty.
But at the same time
I don’t know how much longer I can take “I don’t know” as an answer from my boss when I ask about critical business things HE tasked me with, or things relating to career development and maximizing my time with this company.
Do I need my boss to have all the answers on company revenue? No.
Do I need my boss to at least have an understanding on wtf is going with projects when my priorities get changed mid-project for the 4th time? Hell yes.4 -
I know folks do their best, but come on Apple, this can't be that hard. Bought an IPhone at an estate sale (elderly individual died suddenly, so no one had knowledge of the apple id, passwords, etc) and I've been trying to convince apple to clear the activation lock. (AS = Apple Support)
<after explaining the situation>
AS: "Have you tried putting the phone in recovery mode? That should clear the lock"
Me: "I've already done that. It prompts for the apple id and password, which I don't have"
AS: "You need to talk to the owner and get the information"
Me: "As I explained, I purchased the phone at an estate sale of someone who died. I have the bill of sale, serial number, the box, obituary. What else do you need?"
AS: "Have you tried contacting a family member? They might have have that information."
Me: "The family members at the sale told us this is all they had. This kind of thing has to happen. I can't believe Apple can't clear the activation lock."
AS: "Yes, we can, but I'm very sorry we take security seriously."
Me: "I understand, what do I do now?"
AS: "Did you log out of the phone? Go to settings ..."
Me: "Yes, I tried all those steps before calling. It prompts for the AppleID and password."
AS: "Did you try entering the password?"
Me: "No, I don't have it. I already explained there is no way to know"
AS: "Yes..yes...sorry...I'm just reading the information in front of me. I found something, have you tried submitting a activation lock removal request?"
Me: "Yes, it was denied, didn't tell me why, which is why I'm calling. What about taking this phone to an Apple store? I have all the paperwork."
AS: "Sure, you can try. You might need the death certificate. The family or the coroner will have a copy."
Me: "What!? Apple requires a death certificate to unlock a phone!? I'm pretty sure not even the family is going to give a total stranger a death certificate"
AS: "Sorry sir, I'm just reading what is in front of me. Without that certificate, there is no way to prove the person died. You can try the Apple store, but they will likely require it."
Me: "That's a lot of drama for unlocking a phone. A *phone*"
AS: "Yes sir, I understand. If there anything else we can do let us know and thank you for being an a apple customer."
Next stop, the Apple Store.12 -
New office saga continues
We had 2 days on induction and these guys hired a 19 year old intern for the HR department.
Yes, the worst possible combination.
In last two days she made our life hell. Insufferable human being.
How can a person be so annoying?!
It was so tempting to roast her, but then I had to control my instincts so as to not get a warning during my first two days.
Not saying that everyone is bad and there surely exist great people, but wide majority of Gen Z makes me go nuts and that is all what is wrong with corporate world, old wine and fresh blood overlapping.
We are headed towards self destruction, buckle up your seat belts.9 -
I installed WhatsApp after 7.5 years.
My family forced me to do so because they make all the plans there and I am left out.
I am strictly using it for family and specifically for cousins while ignoring everyone else.
While the group is inactive except for when we all meet (which is once or twice a year).
I am also on Instagram which is 99% of the time deactivated and the only reason I have it is when I did my backpack, I met some real awesome people and the only way to stay in touch with them was via Instagram. Too bad that I did not have it then.
Yes, you can hate me for doing this. But I need to get this off my chest here. I am integrated with Meta ecosystem, but I am making sure I tread carefully and take all measures to protect myself from any kind of damage.12 -
There are so many weird hacks in the quite legacy app I work with I could write a book about all them hacks…
But I must admit, the worst of them all is internal time. Yes, so some blockhead thought it’s a good idea to represent time in a manner completely removed from Datetime objects or timestamps or even string representations. Instead we deal with them as intervals represented by integers - and because this is not fucked up enough by itself, the internal time doesn’t start at midnight, yet the integer representations do. It’s a bloody mess. No wonder most of the bugs we face have to do with dates and time…5 -
My boss has zero emotions and empathy. How ironic for someone into product management!
He is 100% logical, maybe more. He is smart that way and yes, that is a skill to learn from him. He has good product management hard skills.
But, he is an emotional void. Zero humane feelings. He treats everyone like a machine. He is overly obsessed with documentation and wants every single word to be his way.
My writing and communication skills are his pet peeve.
Last Monday, our CTO was in office and he wanted to meet me. I was working remotely, so leads notified me. Even though our CTO runs a monkey business, I was eager and excited to meet him.
This week, my boss will be in office. He texted me to catch-up on coming Monday. I am anxious and worried even though my boss has great skills in our work function.
Furthermore, I find my boss overly critical about everything I do. Maybe it's not me and he does it with everyone, because I haven't been part of a group connect, so no idea. But dude.. give me a break.. give me some room to breathe..
What I heard from another junior, who joined us last month, is that one of the folks who resigned in past was because of my boss.
Feel like that I will move on from my dream organisation as soon as I complete little more than one year.
And apart from that, I scratched my eye glasses, Reddit permanently banned my account for no fault of mine, wanted to catch-up with a cousin, who is going through a rough phase, to cheer up the lad, but he won't answer our calls.
What a shitty weekend.
And yes, my boss is a hipster in the way he dresses and thinks.
He literally keeps saying that we need to use dark patterns like click baits, incite FoMo in our app users, add feedback loops, etc.3 -
I hate backendphobia! It feels like so common nowadays. People scare other people with backend being too hard and stuff, and that feeling of scariness is something that infects lot of people. Please stop fearing the backend!
Yes, some backend stuff can be hard, but there's no good reason to fear it. I just hate it when I go to a new team and they all seem to be backendphobics idiots. I've build enough backends to not give in to the fear, pls stop scaring people.12 -
Me: Can you tell me how to do X?
ChatGPT: yes, you can do xwz!
Me: I researched your suggestion and every source I find mentions that you should not do it because it would mess with the UI thread, amongst other side effects.
ChatGPT: Yes, you should not do xwz.
I’m kinda liking this thing, it’s full of noob traps.4 -
Seriously, a new guy joined out team and suddenly I'm out of my comfort zone and started following the pattern I used to follow. The thing he did, commented on my PR, a lot of comments.
I had this thing that hey now I can control anything right, new guy? less experienced? yes, so I don't need to be intimidated. But I realised today that I'm easily intimidated my intelligent people because I think now I am the inferior one.
I will push myself to think about it in a better way, by looking at it positively, to learn something from it.10 -
More work-related than dev-related:
- Saying "yes" to extra work more often than necessary.
- Wanting to do everything myself and not delegating enough.
- Getting too stressed out.
- Avoiding conflicts and confrontations (even necessary ones!) and not being assertive enough.
- Overthinking everything.1 -
Holy crap, I can't take it anymore.
I know that user acceptance testing is supposed to be done by the end user but it's as if they entirely skipped UNIT TESTING and QUALITY ENGINEERING.
Does their API work? Yes. It does.
Are their endpoints working? Sort of... why are query parameters required again?
Is it good overall? No, there are CORNER CASES ALL OVER THE PLACE (are they even still corner cases at this point?). It feels like it was made by amateurs!
Why am I doing quality testing on their services??? holy crap, they should pay ME for doing this1 -
Employer: Hey, we are moving an API update live tomorrow morning that could affect our apps. Can you regression test the apps to make sure they all work?
Me: The API team is pushing code overtop of live endpoints that can break them?
Employer: Yes, we need the updates to work with a new product we are developing.
Me: And nobody thought about versioning these endpoints so we guarantee uptime on all existing services using them now?
Employer: We looked at that but it cost extra and required us to use the cloud solution so we don’t use versioning.
Me: Okkk… I also take it that the API’s don’t have integration tests written?
Employer: What are integration tests? Are unit tests the same thing?
Me: No, so when do I need to regression test all 7 production apps?
Employer: The API’s are moving to production at 4am and we need it signed off by 7am.
Me: I only have 3 hours to regression test 7 production apps at 4am? Each app, if I just skim over them, would take me 2 hours each. I will do my best but that’s a very short time to ensure complete functionality.
Employer: Don’t you have unit tests?1 -
Ask yourself as you plan the meeting:
1. Is an email a better solution to this?
If the answer is yes, plz just send the fucking email. Else, try and find a way to make it an email instead. If all else fails then yeah go ahead and have your stupid meeting. -
Fucking A.I. resume filter bots.
As if tech interviews weren't hard enough, I have to fill my resume with keywords to get past a bot! Every damn application and cover letter has to be unique.
And when I get past a bot, a hiring manager replies with "Sorry, you seem to have more experience with Typescript than JavaScript, and we can't take that risk."
It's the same.damn.language.
Yes, I spend my spare time with C and Python. Why does that say "unsuitable candidate" instead of "versatile"??!!
$#*%!?&@ tech industry.
Take your "Good luck with your future endeavors" and stuff it up your ass.1 -
i made a mock code that wouldn't close to prank my colleagues. this boy tried the x button and it didn't work, so he went for ctrl alt del and the pop up showed up to confirm and when pressing yes it still wouldn't close1
-
Do you think refactoring code adds value?
Pick one:
1. Hard No (Only refactor when there is a dollar value associated with it, i.e new feature depends on it).
2. Somewhat Yes (Futureproof your code, anticipate easiness to build feature requested in future).
3. Yes (Developer happiness, retention and for point 2)29 -
!rant
"What's the best browser that doesn't devour all of my HW resources?"
Seriously guys, Opera GX. You can set how much ram and cpu it eats, and it only eats that much. Yes, even to the point of it being unresponsive and laggy, because it keeps itself within the boundaries you set.
Seriously. Regardless of the number of tabs.
Also, it looks nice.
Downsides: You forget WHY it lags sometimes, so you get irritated, but when you remember, the irritation turns to smile.
I am not a paid shill, i'm just a user and I use it primarily and only for that single feature.34 -
The good: use the hardware watchdog in your application control flow.
The bad: don't use a watchdog.
The ugly: trigger the watchdog from a fucking timer interrupt.4 -
Mhm yes, release 1.0.0
Hello World now has auto-centered text,
a feature Everyone including
your { user.pet.type } has been asking for,
management assures me.1 -
Today another story in this stupid company:
A freelancer created a feature to pay orders online . It took him 3 months (!)
Problem: sometimes people pay, but orders are not stored. Every morning, it takes 1 hour to check in db if the orders are stored, and if not, create them manualy
Yes, orders are created after payment.
Manager wants to fix it by creating the order before the payment, in 3 days (!)
Turns out that the freelancer has written a lot of obsolete code, I now have to clean up. 3 fucking months vs 3 fucking days!
And on top, the shoppingcart was stored in localstorage! (Already fixed by now)
Fuck this, I'm getting another wodka4 -
How my year has gone so far...
Management: Bobby, we are replacing your old hammer.
Me: Ok cool.
Management: Well actually there's so much going on...here is a wrench instead.
Me: But, this isn't a hammer.
Management: Yes we are aware but we are busy and cannot buy a hammer for a several more months.
Me: How the fuck am I suppose to hammer nails with this?
Management: Oh gosh you are right. That sounds difficult. We will grind down one side of it so you have a flat surface to hammer in those nails.
Management: Oh and by the way, those nails are super important so don't screw anything up.8 -
If you want to make a startup but don't because there is a similar product or "every niche is already occupied", quit thinking this way.
Yahoo could once easily buy Google. They even received the offer but rejected it. But as for now, Yahoo is nothing.
Tumblr was once a top social network, but they crumbled. Foursquare once was preinstalled to smartphones, and now it pretty much doesn't exist.
Blackberry was a giant, the number one smartphone manufacturer. Where are they now? It wasn't betrayal like it was with Nokia and Stephen Elop.
Matter of fact, I'm now working for the company that entered a heavily occupied niche and over the course of three years pushed every competitor out.
Sometimes giants crumble. Small products crumble way more often, just because there are more of them.
There is always enough room in every niche of every industry. Just enough for your startup. Now, as you can't hide under "it's already occupied, and I can do nothing about it" mindset, the only reason your startup won't make it is that you don't work on it. Yes, accepting it is way less comfortable than hiding, but now you're able to change things. You _can_ do something about it.
Evaluate your goals, ask yourself whether making this startup would be just wasted time in case it never takes off, and if you think it's still worth doing, do it.
There is always enough room for your masterpiece.3 -
daily.
PM/PO/SM/dev(new!): so i've continued working on feature X, i did this and that (shows screenshot of UI in Jira) and for today i'm planning to do XYZ. anyquestionsnothennextoneplease.
me: sorry, i have a question. did you persist your changes in our repo?
PM: no, not yet.
me: okay, please do this, you've spent several days of work on this. i mean, it's fine if build servers don't build it yet, that's what our feature branches are for.
PM: you're absolutely right, and i will definitely do it at some point.
me: at some point?
PM: yes. dev x, your update please.9 -
At the beginning of my IT career I was so desperate to get into this field that I even read a PHP 4.3 intro book and applied for a php dev role
yes, I was THAT desperate. Good thing I wasn't hired.3 -
"Biggest challenge you overcame as a dev?"
Overcame? I wish! I'm in the midde of fixing the worst legacy code clusterfuck I have ever seen...
Yes, it's even wayyyy worse than WorstPress...
There are days where my coworkers hear profuse laughter coming out of my lone bureau, some of them might already be thinking that I've gone mad. Maybe I have... bwahahahaha3 -
Nvidia at it again. After receiving backlash for trying to pass off a 4070 as 4080/12GB, und "unlaunching" it, they did the same shit again.
This time with a 3060/8GB. Yes, as RTX 3060, a well established product with a lot of reviews, intentionally misleading the customers who think that a 3060 is always the regular 12GB model. And the new shit isn't even cheaper.
The main issue isn't the reduced amount of VRAM, it's cutting down the memory bus from 192 to 128 bits, that costs quite some performance.
So if you see a 3060 and think it might be a bargain, watch out that you don't accidentally end up with the "bait and switch" 8GB model.
Or even better, consider a 6650 XT that is both faster and cheaper than a 3060, and RT is lackluster on the small RTX cards anyway.7 -
PM: OK team. There seems to have been some confusion over card AAA-111. So from now on we need to be specific in the cards and make sure we have AC and a description of the issue
Devs: Thanks, we appreciate that
PM: makes card
Card: Why is it slow (yes, that's the actual card title)
Card: ... nothing else, completely blank
Devs: Wtf?
PM: these are supposed to be conversation starters guys!
Devs: JUST TELL US THE PROBLEM! WE'LL ASK WHEN WE NEED TO8 -
I want to write something in PHP.
Yes, coming from me, it sounds like stockholm syndrome, but for me PHP is reminiscent of simpler times.
I want to get a server right where I bought the domain, with CPanel, log in with FTP and ~~push~~ (excuse me, _send_) index.php and other files there. I want to open phpmyadmin and throw some stupid fields together that won't work at scale, but "scale" will never happen.
I want to design websites without normalize.css, without any kind of javascript but some silly UI stuff, I want to send emails with sendmail and not sendgrid. I want my gradient buttons back.
Symphony and Laravel can kiss my ass.10 -
Does anyone else feel like HackerRank questions are trick questions?
Without a textfield to explain the answer It highly depends on how deeply you think about it..
Can you do x with technology y?
Yes.
Can you do x with technology y alone?
Well yeah but no, you still need something to process it. What does "alone" mean? Without electricity you sure can't do anything.
Extreme example but you get my point..6 -
I swear to god "old school" C++ devs are menace to humanity
Why yes let's make this one line long function, that could even be constexpr, and make it a macro.
Why the fuck not, let's make compiler errors worse by foregoing any type checking. Let's throw away namespacing as well, great.
Fuck you.
I shouldn't have to dig through 4 levels of nested macros just cause "muh performance" and "we've always done it like that".
Shit yourself.8 -
However pathetic it may sound, I haven't. I've made good acquaitances, yes. But friends...
Last I had friends was in my first uni years. Long, long ago. After that - they went on their path and I - on mine. Work, family, personal projects and sometimes moto rides - that's my life now. Not really much time for friends. Not really much time to make any. Not enough time in a day to think/worry about it, not to mention reconsider my priorities/choices.5 -
[Half question / half rant]
Would you rather work with a laid-back, humorous colleague who produces shit code and won’t understand advice for improvement?
Or would you rather work with someone who’s more serious, even slightly boring, but who takes quality seriously and is open to advice?
Yes I’ve worked with both types. Hands down I prefer working with the latter. With the first dude I’ll have good conversations and a good laugh at his puns and jokes. But at the end of the day I’m pulling my hair trying to make sense of his code and spending a shitload of time reviewing his PRs just to make sure he’s not fucking things up even more.4 -
It happens some times. not actualy their fault.
Today i reached office on almost lunch time. and i saw our new intern(3 members) team trying something on same PC, something in like css file. (Helping each eachother).
Yes i Forgot to mention that they were supposed to finish that page-task yesterday (in angular app).
When i asked them about issue.On which i got to know that they were trying to apply css on class name. But could not since Morning.And when i saw code, It was something like this....
Yes "cls_model" is css class7 -
My project manager just asked me if we need to do a release in order for the changes we have done to be seen in prod.
Yes… what do you think a release means?4 -
The guy kept laughing all the time, so I turn and I see… a guy browsing anime underage feet pics.
And yes, before you ask he looked like the basement dweller meme guy.4 -
[CMS Of Doom™]
Ah, yes, their built-in bullshit newsletter module just sent the n-th user n emails. Wonderful considering n=368.
The culprit? Better don't ask...
OK, anyway: So the mailer is running as a CRONjob, but nah, not as a console script call but by a public HTTP GET URL call, fucking obviously (it's the CMS Of Doom for a reason).
So these fucking imbeciles "implemented" an ob_start() callback where HTML links are - for whatever fucking reason - modified by some regex (obviously everybody knows parsing HTML by Regex is trivial). In this case the link was somehow modified to recall the mailer Cronjob...
This must have upset the pngoing mailing process thus spamming mails. Whyyyy
And I've thought I've seen it all after 6 months in this legacy hell...
This is why you don't run a company consisting of only beginners in PHP (in cluding their "CEO")! -
Why is it most companies think being “agile” simply means “let’s say we do work in two week blocks” but without planning or showcases or reviews, without estimations, with ad-hoc tasks inserted continually, priorities changing, tasks moving to the next “sprint” over and over …
But yes, these companies proclaim they are “agile” and do “two week sprints” when it is nothing more than chaos and rhetoric.6 -
(Internal IT communication)
- Which one is the right email account for xxxx ? aaaa@ourcompany.com or bbbb@ourcompany.com?
- Yes, that's the correct one.5 -
typescript, I HATE you!
ME: Trying to extend Subject and override Subject.subscribe(PartialObserver<T>)
ME: export class MySubject<T> extends Subject<T> {
subscribe(obs?:PartialObserver<T>): Subscription {
return super.subscribe(obs);
}
}
ME: compile
TS: Compilation error! No such method to override!
ME: load the app -- ERROR
ME: recompile
TS: Compilation error! No such method to override!
ME: load the app -- works perfectly
:confusedjackie:
Make up your mind! So is that class compileable or not???
If not -- how the fuck does it work then???
If yes -- why the fuck do you yell in my face with all those errors???8 -
All the jQuery... in one single repository / website.
There is a good reason why we should use fucking CDNs.
Edit: Yes, these are different files in different folders.
Edit2: I've already deleted 2 other jQuery files (the library itself).4 -
I used to think that I had matured. That I should stop letting my emotions get the better of me. Turns out there's only so much one can bottle up before it snaps.
Allow me to introduce you folks to this wonderful piece of software: PaddleOCR (https://github.com/PaddlePaddle/...). At this time I'll gladly take any free OCR library that isn't Tesseract. I saw the thing, thought: "Heh. 3 lines quick start. Cool.", and the accuracy is decent. I thought it was a treasure trove that I could shill to other people. That was before I found out how shit of a package it is.
First test, I found out that logging is enabled by default. Sure, logging is good. But I was already rocking my own logger, and I wanted it to shut the fuck up about its log because it was noise to the stuffs I actually wanted to log. Could not intercept its logging events, and somehow just importing it set the global logging level from INFO to DEBUG. Maybe it's Python's quirk, who knows. Check the source code, ah, the constructors gaves `show_log` arg to control logging. The fuck? Why? Why not let the user opt into your logs? Why is the logging on by default?
But sure, it's just logging. Surely, no big deal. SURELY, it's got decent documentation that is easily searchable. Oh, oh sweet summer child, there ain't. Docs are just some loosely bundled together Markdowns chucked into /doc. Hey, docs at least. Surely, surely there's something somewhere about all the args to the OCRer constructor somewhere. NOPE! Turns out, all the args, you gotta reference its `--help` switch on the command line. And like all "good" software from academia, unless you're part of academia, it's obtuse as fuck. Fine, fuck it, back to /doc, and it took me 10 minutes of rummaging to find the correct Markdown file that describes the params. And good-fucking-luck to you trying to translate all them command line args into Python constructor params.
"But PTH, you're overreacting!". No, fuck you, I'm not. Guess whose code broke today because of a 4th number version bump. Yes, you are reading correctly: My code broke, because of a 4th number version bump, from 2.6.0.1, to 2.6.0.2, introducing a breaking change. Why? Because apparently, upstream decided to nest the OCR result in another layer. Fuck knows why. They did change the doc. Guess what they didn't do. PROVIDING, A DAMN, RELEASE NOTE. Checked their repo, checked their tags, nothing marking any releases from the 3rd number. All releases goes straight to PyPI, quietly, silently, like a moron. And bless you if you tell me "Well you should have reviewed the docs". If you do that for your project, for all of your dependencies, my condolences.
Could I just fix it? Yes. Without ranting? Yes. But for fuck sake if you're writing software for a wide audience you're kinda expected to be even more sane in your software's structure and release conventions. Not this. And note: The people writing this, aren't random people without coding expertise. But man they feel like they are.6 -
While doing the dishes, I came up with a nice little way of responding to the question of "so what do you do?" when asked by muggles.
And here it is:
"I work on a project called the applicability of artificial intelligence to detection of anal cavities"
Yes, I'm aware of how antisocial that makes me sound.
No, I don't care.19 -
Project: Angular 11
Package doc 2.1: For Angular 13+
Package release 2.1: For Angular 12+
Me: Well, this package solve our problem but it need Angular 12 or 13 to run, so do we go for 13 ?
Team: yep,the update is on schedule so take it and update it later.
Me: We can also go to 14 directly.
Team: No, we prefer LTS version
...some weeks later...
Team: Update to 13 complete !
Me: Yes ! Let's go !
...Install package 2.1...
... Compilation...
🚫 Angular 14 is required for version 2.1
Me: are you fu***** kidding?
Final word: please, keep a good documentation on version requirements 😁
(The package has currently a 3.x in beta to solve the 2.1 angular 14 problem because why not 🤷) -
Two evolutionary traits that would've made us decent animals if we never got smart:
1. Running. On the African continent, there are hardly any animals that can outrun humans. Yes, cheetahs and whatnot are faster in a short run, but humans sweat and can cool down their bodies efficiently in a long run. Human can chase down pretty much anything. You can't run away from a human.
2. Throwing. Humans are the best throwers in the animal kingdom. Monkeys can throw too, but because of their long arms, they lose balance and can throw objects nowhere near as far and strong as humans.12 -
probably every time I see my tests failing.
Each time I am writing tests I'm convincing myself "it's an investment", "spend 2 hours now to save 2 days later", "unit-tests are good".
And each time I'm chasing away ideas like "perhaps they are right, perhaps writing unit tests is a waste of time..", "this code is simple, it should ever break - why test it??", "In the 2 hours I'll spend writing those UT I could build another feature"
Yes, it is terribly annoying to write tests, especially after writing the production code (code-first approach). Why test code that you know works, right?
But after a few weeks, months or years, when the time comes to change your feature: enhance it, refactor it, build an integration with/from it, etc, I feel like a child who found a forgotten favourite candy in his pocket when I see my tests failing.
It means I did a very good job writing them
It means it was not a waste of time
it means these tests will now save me hours or days of trial-and-error change→compile→deploy→test cycles.
So yeah, whenever I see my tests fail, I feel warm and fussy inside :)3 -
Yes. Obviously there is a problem in production. At friday night. Yes. Ok. Think happy thoughts.
I AM LOOKING AT YOU SAN!!!!
FUUUUUU2 -
One of my coworker change the code from
```
void foo() {
if (condition)
{
}
else
{
}
}
```
to
```
condition ? ifTrue : ifFalse;
```
and add it to changelog
```
- fix bugs // yes with an "s"
- feature added
- some list of the bug fixed.
```
I refer back to the commit, only one Fucking commit and on changes. Bro, what the fuck?8 -
This is a bitch move, yes, but a clever one. This is a screenshot of some official chrome extension made by Apple. Notice how Apple represents a “typical non-Apple computer” as some dated, old, arguably ugly design. It surely looks a generation or two older than Apple devices around.32
-
!dev Job hunting is so exhausting. Nowadays it's not enough to have two degrees and some certificates. No, you have to 'prove' your worth by also showing really complex, enterprise-level projects you made on GitHub. Yes, why don't you make it more difficult to find a job. lol3
-
I work as a freelancer and one time I had a client that needed some work done on a crypto website. I was so hyped up because the money was good so I jumped on it. Fast forward 2 weeks later I still couldn’t figure what the shit I was doing as the client kept asking for update.
Yes, I have experience with blockchain but my skill on Javascript just couldn’t help. I did google and also ask questions on S.O. but it wasn’t enough to get me on track.
At the end, I reached out to the client and apologized for not being able to meet up with their request and then recommended someone else.
So I’d say “I lost faith” on my skill as a Javascript dev at that moment for not being able to use some blockchain APIs effectively and also look forward to improving my catalog.2 -
Dear php. You weren't my first one. But you were my first serious one. The first i made money with. We had a great time together until ajax came. Do you remember? I did more and more with js later but you still where my main. You even exposed your source code to me. Time changed. They started to hate you. And yes, they where right in some points. But they never saw your good sides. I saw them. I stood with you. But i was froced to wrote backends in typescript, in Java. And you know what: i didn't feel so bad. For gods sake, I fucking enjoyed it, php!
When did we become so alienated? When did I staet to write my dayly heller scripts in bash instead of you?
Yes, you improved. Hack came, than php7, php8. You archived a lot. You finally brought types. There was a time when I thought everything that stood between us will be overcome. That we will be together forever.
But recently i had this conversation on DevRant with nmeri and did some research afterwards. And I learned, maybe you will never have generics. It just don't work out, php, I am sorry. It's not your fault, it's mine. But i dont think i can live without a proper type system for the rest of my life. Not after i taszed those other languages.
I don't know when it will happen. When i switch projects this summer maybe. Maybe next year, when i start a new job. Who knows. But it will happen: you won't be my main anymore at one point. Maybe we can stay friends but i want you to know, that i am open for something new in my life. Something with generics.4 -
I met this guy on my very first job. An internship. He was an intern too. We were doing Java and he was a brilliant programmer. We would try to finish the job as quickly as possible then stay back late to play 1v1 CS. (Yes on company LAN). We worked together for only 2 months. We are still in touch. Right now helping him with SOP for his master's thesis.
-
I just realized a weird thing. It will soon be 6 years since i joined devRant. And while i havent been as active as i was before its still sometimes fun to come and rant or read some rants :)
And for those who know me. Yes i still fuck around with Linux kernel development :)
If you are from the 2016-2018 join time come chat a little in comments :) Wondering how many people still hang out here and how many people names i will recognize :P
//Haxk20 o78 -
Yesterday, my boss asked me to solve a certain problem the company has with my code.
I tried reproducing it for a very long time but still couldn't manage to do it.
Ultimately (after my boss has been no help at all), I changed some stuff and sent the revised version with this message:
"I couldn't reproduce the problem, so here is a revised version with some changes that **could potentially** solve the problem you're facing."
She immediately decided that the entire company was switching to this version and thanked me. There is no way she tested it that fast. She just saw this might be a fix and didn't bother with the details. I have no idea if the update fixes the problem or even if it won't break anything else. I tried to explain the situation to her but she asked, "Are you saying this works on your computer?" and I was like "Yes, but..." and she didn't care about anything after the Yes, and I just know that when the problem will occur the complaint will be directed at me, and I'm sick of it.3 -
Probably everyone at least once had situation when they receive a meaningless screenshot with 500 page, a message "Application doesn't work fix it" and 0 info whatsoever.
Here is my tip that saved me a lot of trouble.
I display error id in the center of the screen, large enough so no matter how small and blurry the image is (yes users, send us photos of theirs displays) , It is always easy to ready it so we can start investigation without talking to those monkeys.3 -
Quite amazingly, yes!
as a matter of fact one of my parents is actually also in information technology or related field so there are very much aware of how in demand the job is and how difficult it is as well and the best part is a lot of my engineering friends are also switching to computer science and just because it is the better choice of because of how over saturated the engineering field is so yeah i think i have a better career choice than most of my peers
(PS: I used Speech to text here so forgive the grammar errors)1 -
PO1: Hey, PO2 just told me that he experiences a lot of crashes in our iOS app!
Me: Whoa! The app hasn’t had any crashes since ages. The testers haven’t reported crashes either. (Me in panic mode). I will ask PO2 about some details about the crashes.
Me to PO2: So, can you please describe me when the crash happens?
PO2: (long story about error messages and UI quirks and how he force quits the app to make them disappear)
Me: OK thanks for that info. Those are definitely valid problems that we have not encountered yet. But none of them are crashes. So are there any other problems that cause crashes?
PO2: Yes and no. (Long story and more problems)
Me: ok we need to investigate that. But are there crashes?
PO2: (Something that doesn’t answer the question)
Me: I need to ask explicitly again: Are there actual crashes where the app closes itself automatically?
PO2: No, that has never happened.6 -
Tell me you're a media-obsessed rube drone without telling me you're a media-obsessed rube drone. I'll start:
"SoFtWaRe JoB mArKeT iS hOrRiBlE aNd ShOwS nO sIgN oF rEcOvErY!!!"
hah, you mean those layoffs from that handful of frothed-over tech giants which had, I don't know, approximately ONE HUNDRED TIMES the amount of engineers they actually needed? I swear if i see this trope one more time i'm about to rage. can't wait until 2023 when this 'scare' will be but a memory. yes i'm muad'dib, golden path, worm god, whatever
but it's even simpler, you don't have to drink the spice:
- there are an estimated 205,741 people affected by the LaYoFfs (https://www.trueup.io/layoffs, actually a really cool site I just found)
- there are an estimated 3.87 MILLION software engineers, and that's just in the US, so it's safe to say less than 5% of the industry has been affected
so in short yes, you are a rube, i'll enjoy my multiple job offerings
should have been working on your craft instead of reading all those "news" articles. sheesh, i'd scare to hire anyone for a software position who can't get a grip on simple numbers anyway6 -
X : What do you do?
Me : I am an embedded software developer
X: So you develop software?
Me: Yes, but my software works on BareMetal.
X: So you work in a metal workshop.
Me: -_-3 -
learn when to say no. you gotta play and say yes sometimes, otherwise people won't like you, but if you say yes to anything they'll walk over you2
-
Buyer's remorse is a bitch. Yes, it's the top shelf gadget. Yes, it may very well save my life. Yes, I've wanted it badly since it got released. Yes, I will be using it on every occasion.
But it's 300€ ffs...10 -
most memorable bug I fixed
Line 1:
- throw new Error(‘test’)
+ // throw new Error(‘test’)
yes, this was committed code in production4 -
Head of IT: kindly check what the issue with the following transaction
Me: Is this on production or on staging?
Head of IT: YES
Me: 🖕🏾 🖕🏾1 -
Vendor lock-in for cloud providers is really small, and you don't notice it until you need it. Route53 has an "import zone file" button, but they don't have an "export zone file" button. Yes, there are other tools and scripts to do it, but bit-by-bit AWS, GCP, and Azure make it difficult to leave.2
-
javascript is garbage
typescript despite best intentions, regardless of how well it's executed, is still garbage as it's some sort of band aid on top of javascript, and javascript is garbage
Before you ask, yes I'm garbage at front end development5 -
Recruiter: blablabla would you be interested in this job ?
Me: It looks great, hell yes I'm interested!
Recruiter: When are you available for a quick call?
Me: I'm not interested anymore.2 -
BRAG.
New home internet conexion. (yes home).
https://speedtest.net/result/c/...
For lazy, screenshot is uploaded.
I fill it's "only" 2.5Gbps card which limits me, not ISP. But 10 G cards are fucking expensives21 -
I can be manipulated. Yes, I’m now more resilient to manipulation than ever because I’m autistically good at recognising patterns, yet I’m not perfect.
For a manipulator, there is just one problem — now and then, my disorder obliterates my entire worldview, together with the foreign manipulative framework, so I can start with a blank slate. It protects me. Yes, this protection is akin to our body’s “we’ll boil all the germs in our own blood” tactic that instead of defining winners and losers only leave survivors, yet the force is unstoppable. You cannot secure the land that is hit by a tornado every three months.
That inner Nemesis is so strong that it even defeated a complex, almost fractal-like manipulation of my own mother that I lived in since birth, leaving her with a wound that will never heal. Wannabe manipulator exes didn’t even stand a chance. I don’t care if that force destroys me or not, as during that time, there is no “me”.
About my mom, long story short, she told me “I want to stop treating my cancer to die as soon as possible just to not see you anymore” after my coming-out. Full story is here:
- part 1: https://devrant.com/rants/4923052/...
- part 2: https://devrant.com/rants/4924040/...7 -
StackOverflow veterans: "this is an elitist meritocracy, so play by the rules to earn reputation and practice the same gatekeeping behavior that we have established for years." Then they wonder why mostly white male US academic guys keep engaging in their community.
Yes, it's "stackoverflow again".
Another one of those sites you can't really avoid as a dev, too good to ignore, to bad not to get upset about. Maybe also a mirror of antisocial patterns still prevalent in society and especially in the developer industry.11 -
If you ask any sane person "hey, do you want to get some disease with fever, headache and potential risk of dying?", I doubt anyone will say "yes".
But if there exist a way to prevent it with a proven efficacy from both evidence-based medicine and science, why not get it today? I'm not even talking about covid. Why people are not getting their flu shots? How's that logic works? You mean you don't want disease, but you also don't want to take any measures to prevent it?
Every time in late autumn people get cold. For a sane person, one such case with themselves is enough to say "hey, I don't want this to happen again the next autumn". Yet people do nothing.
I can't understand this.
And this is only a flu. Hepatitis will destroy your liver and potentially will destroy your whole life, so why avoid vaccination?10 -
I gave a technical interview today and here is summary how it went . interviewer asked me to login to leetcode account then .
Interviewer :- "Open this problem( he gave link) and open submission section".
Me :- "Yes sir" I opened it and I have solved that in past .
Interviewer :- "okay so you have solved this one so let's move to next question(2nd)".
I opened it and again I have already solved that in past. Then he gave 3rd and it was also solved by me already .
Then he said " Okay now I will share with you this problem which you have not solved and I am sure ".
He gave me a hard problem which I actually haven't solved . I would have solved the first 3 , the 4th one was actually hard and I was not able to optimise my code on time .
sometimes life is really tough 😪. he could have asked anyone of them 😕.7 -
i don't wanna say it, but I'm going to say it
1, 2...
3
FUCK RUST.
Took me 30 minutes to prototype this shit in concise, safe and idiomatic Bash.
Took me 4 hours to rewrite it in idiomatic Rust. Did it work just as well? BIG FUCKING NO.
Rewriting it in a crazy-girlfriend-like annoyingly strict nominal Typescript, took me 1 hour.
IT WAS fucking DELICIOUS doing it.
Did it work just as well, BIG FUCKING YES!
Fuck you Rust. F U C K YOU
--- still love you tho22 -
I'm getting tired of coding. Not really the coding part, the dealing with people who tell me what to code and why part. Sort of considering making a move into a scrum master or PM role just so I can get fired when I say "No, we're not changing everything they've been working on in the middle of the sprint" or maybe "Yeah, no we're not going to put in a bunch of tickets to change the UI/UX without first talking to the designers, because that's what they do. Yes, I realize we aren't Facebook, but do you realize we "compete" with them because a huge number of people will compare our usability to theirs? (even if just subconsciously)"2
-
We have a new team member in our team. So I was giving her one to one KT. After KT
She: so are there new changes coming soon?
Me: Yes there will. Now you here I could really use a hand.
She: that's what he said3 -
I think I've noticed a human behaviour I wasn't aware of before.
That in any group, there will always be at least one bully..
I had thought once the current bully wasn't in the group anymore, that the group would finally become civilised !
But no, it seemed once the top bully was gone, another would replace them..
I wonder if that would continue until there was only 2 people left in the group ? ( Actually I do remember such a group, and yes, the other one was a bully ! )
People who you had known for decades, suddenly become a bully, why ?
Is it some kind of alpha human behaviour ?
Why can't we just get along without some asshole trying to make our lives more difficult..28 -
Worked with a bunch of talented people today. Sat for the most of the day analyzing an incident together. Dividing the different possible issues among us, crunched the data, trying to understand the code and business. Some tricky calculations. Fixed the issue and deployed to all environments.
Getting motivated and talanted people together is key to everything. Nobody was silent and many people said
”I don’t understand”
Which led to even further deep dives. It was great.
JIRA was nowhere to be found.
(Yes, we found two more issues when doing all this work!)2 -
Imagine seeing words like developer:ess, member:esses or user:ess in artices on the web becoming more and more popular.
Pretty dumb, yes?
That’s what happening right now with the German language with something called gender-language.
It hurts my eyes reading Entwickler:innen, Mitglieder:innen and Benutzer:innen.
People argue that words like Entwickler are excluding woman by using the male form by default. But it’s just a matter of perspective. Why not just define this as the neutral form just like in english? Developer is neither male nor female. Everybody is fine with that.
Yet the Germans are messing around with this gender shit and making text unreadable for no reason at all.
It’s just bullshit!19 -
OMFG, Dell, why can't you be normal and make your batteries die like any other batteries - by simply switching the laptop off immediately when the charger is unplugged???
Guess what it looks like when a JD25G (XPS13 9530) battery is dying (still 88% health)!
Constant screen flickering (yes, even in BIOS). Good thing I'm not an epileptic - my screen is fucking strobing!!!
I know it's a battery, because I had the same issue some years ago when I replaced the died original one with a cheapo made by GreenCell. Boi that was fun - I saw my laptop do miraculous things I never would've thought of! Screen flickering was one of them. As soon as I replaced that turd with an original one all these magic powers went away.15 -
Boss asks if the project will be finished today, I reply ‘yes’ and then realised I’d not pushed my code after working from home the previous day! Doh!1
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Any night, 1:30am, bedtime: "Yes! I can't WAIT for tomorrow to begin! I'm gonna make SO much progress on that personal project that I just KNOW is gonna change the world and make me a billionaire! My time is now!"
Next day, 9am, first call of the day: "Ugh, waking up SUUUUUCKS! But, fine, just gotta get through the workday, then it's beast mode time!"
5pm: "Ugh, that day SUCKED... meeting after meeting, constant interruptions for the few minutes I got to hack code, SO many emails, and hey, good day, only five new things pushed down from corporate to bang my head against! Feelings pretty mentally exhausted, but it's all good, I fortunately love this programming stuff, so first dinner, then a little exercise, spend some time with the family, and then it's time to COOOODE!"
10pm: "Ok, house is FINALLY quiet (fucking dog), just a little noise from my daughter staying up way too late again... kinda spent, but this project still excites me, and I may not get as much done as I was hoping, but fine, I can still make some tangible progress and that's what matters. Maybe just one last quick check of email, Reddit, make sure there's no new Hot Ones or Honest Trailers I gotta watch, update IDEA plugins and see what's new, then it's work time! Nothing can stop me now!"
Any night, 1:30am, bedtime: "SHIT! I GOT FUCK ALL DONE AGAIN! GO DAAAAAAAMN IIIIIT!!!!"3 -
The fact that I need to make this shit multimodal is gonna be a whole different level of shitshow. 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦
Somebody kill me plz.
Today I tried to concatenate a LSTM unit with a FC and was wondering why it was throwing weird shapes at me. 🤦
Yes, I was THE idiot.
Kill me.21 -
Friday 13th. Superstition.
0655, got WFH laptop going. 0700, VPN'ed in. Bluescreen, first in ages. Yes, Windows, the hatred is mutual. Rebooted. Windows claimed memory fault, offered check, 40 minutes. Noped out. Started machine. VPN'ed in. Some strange script error that I'd never seen before. Rebooted. Script error again. Shut down machine, then rebooted, same problem. 0715, fuck, still wearing sweaters, my e-scooter not charged, and an important Teams call at 0800.
Got dressed, stuffed laptop into backpack, hurried up by foot. Took the bus. Fuck, the next connection on the change station just had gone off. Took a taxi to make it. Arrived at the company, plugged in the laptop, started with no issues. Had the important call.
Took the laptop to IT. Tested it with external network connection and VPN. Worked with no script error. Had it checked for RAM issues. No issue. WTF had happened in the morning?!5 -
RethinkDB is such a rediculous overengineered BIGGEST BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER UNFORTUNATELY USED.
Does anyone even use this total shit????
This shit eats RAM memory for just 1 CRUD operation as if you opened 10,000 google chrome tabs. Who the fuck thought that kind of technology is a good idea?
Yes it IS very fast, a real time database. But you'd have to have a multi-million dollar supercomputer to be able to handle so much data like a relational database can....5 -
I need an opinion.
I want to learn something new. I consider myself a non-stupid person, and I am quite embarassed by the fact that the only tool I know well is Js+friends.
My options are:
- Java because money
- C/C++ because smartass
- Rust because yes
- some new shiny obscure shit like nim/zig/hare because lol
Currebtly I need money tbh. Java would seem a reasonable option, yet I'm scared by its huge ecosystem and I'm afraid that it would seriously take too long (like MANY years) to be confident enough to get a job.
Also, despite the common memes and crap, I fucking like Java.32 -
I’m not suicidal. But It’s scary how much I envy people I know who recently died. They have zero problems. No need to look for a job, like I have to right now. No sense of fear or anxiety about screwing up relationships. No worry about health or wealth or any of that. Just done. Like I said, I’m not suicidal. Too scared to hurt myself and too afraid that on the other side I would regret it (yes, i happen to actually know it’s not just blackness and non-existence). But if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I wouldn’t complain.11
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Fuck wired headphones.
The cord gets caught in the chair when standing up, the cord gets twisted so you can't hear anything, not all devices have headphone jack anymore.
Yes I do use bluetooth headphones, but was given a trial of a wired headphones.18 -
Prototype no. 2 is looking really good (and also works so well to the point that the only thing that’s holding us back is supply chain)!
Also yes, that is a Touhou Youmu fumo (ᗜˬᗜ)6 -
This is iOS. The “Phone” label should move and transition from white to blue. But, it’s not just one label, it’s two labels on separate screens, so for this effect to work, they should be aligned perfectly.
However, blue label is off by two pixels.
Yes, to notice that you should probably have Aspergers. Yes, I do develop user interfaces.
Yes, I basically monetized my Aspergers.3 -
Does anyone remember BASIC?
10 PRINT "Hello World!"
20 GOTO 10
I learned it when I had my Commodore 64. Recently I've gotten the itch to dive back in the development world. So I'm refreshing my memory on HTML and CSS (yes I know they're not programming languages) then move on to JavaScript and either React or Angular. Hopefully I will be able to contribute more to discussion on here than just lurk.24 -
so i started some new classes in school last week. the first day i walked into my new gaming development classes and my teacher says “im going to be honest with you guys i don’t know any of this and ive never taught this or programming so im just going to learn with you. the principal asked me if i wanted to teach this class and i said yes because it’d be a good learning experience and extra money. i usually only teach woodshop.” this is gonna be a great class. it makes me so mad that the teacher doesn’t even know what he’s teaching. im here to learn. why offer to teach a class you know nothing about? i could be at home watching YouTube videos and learning more2
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Isn't there something less of a clusterfuck than kubernetes.....
Yes it's a clusterfuck literally10 -
I hate servers that only support EFI boot with a passion. Yes, legacy / BIOS boot is old, but it was so simple. I've been spending hours trying to get EFI boot working on servers with swraid-ed disks and *nothing* works without ugly hackish patches all over!
Anyone successfully got an EFI partition (/boot/efi) on an MDRaid device? D':4 -
Listen dude I get it, you've been in more of a Systems Admin role for a long time, you haven't really worked on a devlike team.
I can be patient I can be understanding. But when you break the build you need to fix it.
Yes I know you didn't change any of the files that are now failing, but you the pipeline is no longer deploying and so we can't fix anything.
Okay dude we are being prevented from deploying because you broke the build, you need to fix it. It's stopping everyone else.
DUDE FIX THE FLIPPING BUILD EVERYONE IS WAITING FOR YOU TO FIX THAT!
Seriously I know we should be patient with people learning new things, but some days it is difficult.5 -
Somebody reminded me of a funny story from high school. I was in the hallway before the bell which was not allowed.
Teacher: Demo! What are you doing in the hallway?!
Me: It is only a couple of minutes before the bell...
Teacher: Demo! A cop could give you a ticket for going a couple of miles over the speed limit!
Me: Yes, but he wouldn't...
Teacher: Demo! A cop would give you a ticket for being ugly!
Me: If they did that you would be in prison!
Teacher: Demo! Get the hell out of here!4 -
The only really influential product Microsoft ever created is Verdana. Yes, the typeface.
It was the first typeface designed to be displayed on a screen rather than in print. Before that, there only were monospaced typefaces like we saw in terminal, or digitized typefaces like Helvetica Neue.
More than that, its looks were partly generated by an algorithm, hence the odd, alien looks. But because of it, Verdana works amazingly good in small labels. The 8pt Verdana is more readable than 10pt Helvetica.
I still use Verdana in all of my projects, religiously.
All the other Microsoft products: Windows, Xbox, Surface, Office, Azure, all that stuff — is mere garbage compared to the influence Verdana made on how our interfaces look now.5 -
When you’re interviewing for a job and the recruiter tells you the hiring manager is brand new, and
the hiring manager’s manager is also new, how do you react?
I’ve had two jobs in the last six years where basically everyone in my sphere of technical collaborators were new to the company and both times it utterly sucked, both for administrative reasons and because there was no institutional/historical knowledge I could lean on to make decent enough decisions on my work.
So now when I hear a recruiter say “oh yes John is the hiring manager, he’s been here six weeks and the Director is also new!” I’m suddenly much less interested in the position anymore.
I’m probably thinking about this too much, right?4 -
Alright, my very first post here was about this project and I am thinking it out loud again.
I see a problem and I am struggling to find a solution.
Now what I am thinking of is to articulate the problem well and state WHY I believe it needs to be solved. There are some reasons which must be presented in a capitalist way.
Furthermore, I am thinking of doing a market research to understand various demographics, validate the idea, and figure out the product-market fit.
Now, this qualitative research and quantitative data will help me decide whether it is worth putting in the efforts to solve the problem or not.
And since, we have an MVP already (funnily yes, we built it before all of the above), that will help me validate the tangible solution.
Once we get a confidence boost, then it will be time to get that single transaction which has net positive cash flow.
Start scaling to 'next billion users', so a billion transaction with net positive cash flow.
I won't be branching out into multiple verticals before be able to sustainably scale the core USP.
And while the second half sounds like, 'I have a million dollar idea', I am trying to be more and more realistic and rationale instead of falling in love with my idea.
I don't even have an idea (read solution) to fall in love with. Rather I have a problem that is bothering me.
So, yes, I am continuing this journey to solve the problem which started in second year of my hostel room and has evolved over 10 years. -
Folks,
I've copied a folder(size: 10.7GB) to external HD, and it's occupying 154GB on external disk.
yes, the folder has a lot of small files in it. but ..
Surprisingly, the same folder occupy 10.8GB on internal HD. and that drive is not compressed.
I defragmented external HD, problem still unresolved.
* allocation unit size is default(4096B) on both the disks. both are NTFS
Plz, help me, explain me... :-(13 -
Mathematics feels like a giant old undocumented codebase in that, yes you could read the comments of each function, you would rather have a nice complete, well formatted docs page that in human terms explains how things work together, why they are here and where they came from.13
-
Every time I pick up a ticket, it turns out to be a duplicate and another engineer is already working on it or it already is done. So I close the ticket and collect the story points. (Yes, morally correct would be to close it as duplicate with 0 SPs.)7
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Get a bachelors degree or higher from a decent uni or college. It's gives you a solid foundation teaching you stuff that you wouldn't otherwise spend time on because frankly it's shit boring. Like compiler technology and low-level programming languages. I believe this broader understanding which eventually allows you to become a better developer and architect.
Yes, the first year at a real job will teach you a ton more relevant stuff than 3 years at uni. But that's just not what it's about. Ignorant people just think it is.5 -
Got pretty far with cleaning this project up:
https://github.com/Pulsar-Edit-High...
- Code refactorings
- Documentation reworks
- ..
However:
- Broken workflow ( Pulsars action is not yet released, ppm not properly installed )
- Changelog content is still .. yes
- Relative links are broken in package preview ( bug in IDE )1 -
No wonder it’s hard to hire devs with even a basic level of competency or some kind of promise that them might be able to learn shit given time, opportunity and guidance. The sheer amount of idiocy and stupidity and straight up incompetent cringe I witness on every platform giving us devs a voice (yes, including here) is mindboggling…5
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ah yes. have to add the permission for literally any specific endpoint on AWS for my root user... love it5
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RANT! Clown VISA developer (you know, the one with ”extensive experience”) has still not finished his task which he was assigned after failing the last one which was easier. I wrote that they would fail and they have not even deployed anything to any environment. Not even dev. They just fuck around on their machines and this VISA guy says some nonsense shit on daily standups using mother fucking big words like it is really some difficult task they are doing. NOTHING has been done. It’s such a moral sink for the team.
When I asked nicely and asked if they have automated test they responded with a yes. So, I just dive into the repo and… no. There is no tests at all.
It is almost like they _think_ that tests automatically ate induced by osmosis or quantum mechanics or something. There is no tests. None. Zero. Why the ”yes”? 🤔
I looked at the commits and I can see no actual brain activity.
It will take a miracle. A miracle I say, to get any productive work out of this guy. What should he do? I mean, what should he actually get paid for? I do not understand. And he walks around in these $400 dollar jackets and coats and shit like he knows stuff.
I am having a really hard time accepting that he actually get paid at all. -
DevRanters, Have you witnessed a mass layoff in your company where you weren't the one getting fired? If yes, what was it like?17
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Fuck HttpClient
Once upon a time there was WebClient and WebRequest, everything was simple and life back then was just 3 lines of code. But Microsoft came and decided to ruin everything with HttpClient. WHY IS HTTPCLIENT AN ASS TO DISPOSE? why cant you just close the connection and not fucking leave us with a TIME_WAIT. oh yes it doesn't support ftp and you'll recommend us to use a third party lib? fuck it if you want us to move to something better don't leave us with a half-assed HttpClient. but what about if you have 1000 proxies? oh boy I do love to initialize 1000 HttpClients with different HttpClientHandlers, want only to use HttpClient each request? goodluck filling your ports with TIME_WAIT seriously microsoft3 -
Sometimes I really hate offshore desktop support... yes I know Visual Studio 15 was installed, and works. But now Python tools was uninstalled in a forced update that corrupted my VS and now I can't install PTVS(not that I need VS has the vim emulator that I can install at work, it's a whole mess of weird security policies.) fucking hate windows and visual studio. Fucking listen what Im telling you the issue is. I need your dumbass to uninstall this shit software so I can do a clean install since the shitty as software management system doesn't so shit when it say's "uninstalling".
On a side note, this fuckwit just tried to explain what the screenshot tool and how to use it... it's only pinned to my taskbar and menu for shits and gigs since I don't use it everyday to tell the stupid data entry analysts I deal with to fuck off. -
are you able to give 1/+ hour to any hobby project/self learning (technical, that could help you in infuture switch) ? if yes, HOW??
I want to create this website , but i keep on delaying that. i just have a faint idea of how the assoc technologies would be used , but putting even 1 hour aside becomes difficult once i come back from the gym in the evening. plus the effort to open laptop, refocus self and do something only to close laptop after an hour feels very less rewarding. I can't achieve anything in 1 hour, i need a continuous slot of 6+ hours to achieve something and plan for the next day.
do share any better mind makeup9 -
Recently briefed a manager that we need to adjust Q2 plans to address the institutional knowledge lost during layoffs.
Yes, I know, write documentation, etc. This is reality, all our shit ain't documented.2 -
I'm not a Wordpress pro, but i've done some work on it and... well, the HTML + PHP mix is the only evidence you need to convince someone, there is no god, only satan, but other then that, it's hard to find anything else that your clients will accept & can use. And yes it's the most important thing - at the end of day, they are the one giving you money.
Besides:
- the Wordpress dev community is pretty cool.
- everything has been invented, so the development is pretty easy.
- if you have something more fancy to do, there is always a Wordpress API.
PS - fuck HTML + PHP mix.1 -
What I "discovered" recently is, that Android will sometimes update certain apps even if you have auto-update disabled in Play Store.
Yes, just like that. I am not sure what exactly triggers the update, but it is certainly possible.
Just now I have seen that my Netflix app got auto-updated. Which is not a big deal in itself. But taking control out of the user's hands IS a big deal.This needs to stop. ❎12 -
Android 12, stop telling me every other day which app has permission to access my location in the background. I know, I gave permission, and I want to keep the setting "Allow all the time". Where's the "don't ask again" option?
And why does this happen for an app released by the German federal government (about once a week) but never, ever for your shitty Google Maps that always seems to know where I've been (at least if don't leave my phone at home, which is hard to do in times when you have to show your digital proof of vaccination everywhere yo go). Fucking Android, fuck the Android 12 clunkiness (inspired by Apple's iOS?) and fuck the fucking notifications. This is my phone, I paid for it, I own it, I want to turn off this bullshit. Wait, Google, once I find time to get back to LineageOS/Cyanogenmod you will never see a trace of my digital existence again. Oh, and fuck your "digital wellbeing" as well! At least you let me turn that off. Yes, I know, I am not grateful, but that's what devrant is for, isn't it? Fuck you, Google!2 -
Had a dream about computers on earth mostly stopping working for no apparent reason, yes, again. But this time, they still work on Mars, so we go there, at least some of us. UAC-esque, Doom 3-ish aesthetics, but in a good way, no death and no darkness. No hell plot though, we’re all fine. Both earth and mars are equally semi-livable, but in different ways. For some reason, we can’t ship new CPUs to mars, and 775 pentium considered a good CPU. We use SQL and HDDs. Elon is also there, but he’s nothing, a peasant compared to other scientists and engineers who are a part of the exodus. I had some problems with food and shelter initially, but @netikras helped me2
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I've been learning android app development using kotlin/java for about 4 months, and i think i'm pretty good with kotlin/java, i've learned a lot of things related to android development, i've cloned netflix,spotify and made streaming apps with firebase as the backend, and I think I understand using firebase quite well because firebase itself is not difficult to use. Is it for my current skills that I deserve to work as a freelancer or do I still have to improve my skills?if it yes,give me an example of what kind of application I should do to improve my skills again!,I've read the android studio docs what to know and I've studied everything even though I sometimes forget how to make this/make that but I understand the logic quite well ok, please help7
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I hate the fucking Spring WebFlux and the goddamn Project Reactor on which it depends!
Even debugging a simple CRUD microservice with simple business logic is such a pain in the ass, exception handling has a lot of "magic" implicit stuff which makes me waste hours in fucking trial & error and I have to use very little breakpoints because if a request is paused for more than few seconds it gets terminated.
I love functional programming but why shove it in fucking Java making me waste 90% of my time in trying to guessing what the fucking framework is doing, why not just use Scala which runs in the JVM? We don't even need compatibility with legacy code since it's a greenfield project!
And before you ask yes, I read a fucking book about Project Reactor and Java reactive programming and a lot of docs on Spring, Spring Boot and Spring Web Flux.2 -
Scala lang is hard to learn(not saying that sucks), but first I don't want to learn this language, I just wanted to use some functions for a hobby project and this project I found on internet had all I need so I just wanted to translate it to Python, using an online Scala compiler I pasted the functions I needed anddddd error can't compile it it, because the functions had some extra things that were not part in the file where functions were, these things check for null values(?) so I was looking into the project where these "keywords" comes from and I can't find it, so after some grep in the project files I found the "keyword" I was able to compile it, also I weird thing about this language is that there is no return keyword
So yes I find this lang not that intuitive (for me at least)4 -
I want to be able to look at a program and immediately know whether it halts. Partly because that would be proof that I cannot be a very elaborate computer program, and partly because it could be used to answer any yes/no question that I understand well enough to write a program for.13
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Microsoft: Do you know dateadd from SQL?
Devs: Yes of course.
Microsoft: Well you can also do that in our brilliant DAX language.
Devs: Ohhhhhh.
Microsoft: It only works with a special date table, though, and it doesn't work with a non-continuous set of dates, so please don't filter too much.
Devs: Please what??? 🤯😵
Why Microsoft, why? -
the text in the grey-ish rectangles says "Advert"
the text in brackets above the bottom grey-ish rectangle says "(Content continues below advert)"
and yes, the thing in the middle is the actual whole content, there's no continuation below that non-advert
(it's a dictionary showing a very simple word that's just a direct synonym of another very simple one)2 -
Last week summary:
-questioning my identity (I’m cleaning and realised I forgot I used to like many activities I forgot and decided to give them more time)
-questioning how tf my unconscious seems to always plan ahead of me (ah yes I can do this cause I prep… why tf did I prepare for this?)
-questioning my skills (just a standard imposter syndrome, nothing to see here, move on)
-questioning my worth (as above)
-questioning how tf somebody connected to a secret account I have (spoiler: they don’t know and it’s a crazy coincidence… but now I know secrets about them 😏)
-randomly freezing during everyday life for all the above points
Job wise all is cool, tho 🎊2 -
I hate working with sh*tty Devs
I used that term specifically.. No it's not about juniors, it's about those who pretend to be seniors.
In a major company project, one of us has to take a week or two to refactor that one "senior" dev work. When tested it performs poorly, when checked, it violates every SE principle and the business people are wondering why we keep seeing `refactoring User Stories/Tasks` and why we still don't have a working project yet. Yes, we will never have, that mess that `senior` dev created is almost impossible to refactor without major rework.
Now, major rework coming, we need to give something to that Senior so he doesn't feel left behind. Argue to never let him get anything in core or this company will go under...
In short, I hate working with sh*tty devs. -
New office stories.
They use following channels as official communication channels
1. Google Hangouts (yes, living in 1800s)
2. WhatsApp groups (FUCK MY LIFE) Thankfully I am not part of any and will avoid actively.
3. Slack (heaven's sake some sense here).
And above that, they use Google Workplace for emails and office tools.
And now combine this mess with Apple. How inhumane my working conditions are.3 -
Reading fine print FTW... Samsung Galaxy Watch features only work with Galaxy phone...
Yes uh.. no...2 -
After couiple of hours (Yes, apprently it's insane how hard is to add a new NIC to a linux machine and make it start on boot), I finally got my connexion working !
Story :
Server has original MB 1Gbits card. Internet connexion is 1.1 Gbps. So 1Gb card only picked at 940 Mbits download
I bought a 2.5 Gb card (new nic)
Pluged it in : Nothing
Couple of ifconfig -a etc, bring device UP : Yeah working !
Reboot : Nothing
/etc/interfaces : nothing
And why it's not eth0 and eth1 etc as before but some thing cryptic like enp3s0.
Well, at least now everything working (Apperently there is a new "network plan" config file in yaml... what a waste, DO FUCKING JSON YOU RETARDS)
Ping is awsome tho ! Same cable on windows Machine, I get 5 ms.4 -
There's a special place in hell for JS people using `.then()` and `.catch()` instead of simply `await func()`.
Why have 5 lines of code with an await, when instead you can have 5 nested `.then` callbacks.
And yes I know there are some cases where async/await isn't applicable, but that's rather rare25 -
Was there a post about:
"Love french fries as this gentleman does. <a link to some website full of 3d french fries animations>"
If yes, can someone give a link?2 -
Is dark magic real?, if yes can science explain it?
Also, if science can explain it doesn’t that make it logical?15 -
Where have i been? the answer is Yes. im still alive, caught rona 3 times never been better.
as a OKAY not pro developer i can create what i want.
and if you're wondering. Yes i have deleted my rants.
i use typescript. i will not go back to js.
RUST IS SUPERIOR TO C++
(i still use C++ because i am a mad cheater in android games this is gonna probably come to a halt soon i haven't been on my mobile a while)
all i literally had to do was sit at a computer for hours. stick to one language and just build projects on my own i stopped coding on mobile after one of my unstable projects had got access to my devices files. oh and last but not least tampermonkey sucks and my favorite game moo moo.io and sploop.io is full of macroers, cheaters and now nobody wants to play legitly in the game. i forgot this website and decided to take things slowly. time goes fast when your mind really be dazed.5 -
Does anyone know if it's possible to install a VM (Linux or Windows) on a Linux Server without GUI and then connect to the aforementioned VM via Remote Desktop? If yes, has anyone done it before?4
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Yesterday i went to see a therapist ( i am a javascript developer). The therapist asked me what the problem was and i said i had to learn a new tech stack every 3 months. He then told me he was a php developer .....
Therapy works guys! no cap
P.S- This joke is stolen from the oldest book possible ( yes! as old as php)2 -
I spent the whole damn day trying to setup grpc-web, but this protocol is documented so damn poorly!
You manage to set grpc up for one language and it’s all cool, then you stupidly think that you are free to reuse the compiler you used for the nodejs version for your frontend part but nope! Our web module is now deprecated, please use this module instead!
“Ah yes just clone the repo and check out (…) and you can also check this link whic is in no way highlighted in the middle of a wall of text (…)”
*checking the other page*
Ah yes you need to install a package available only on your unix machine (great! Screw the devs in my team who use windows I guess, they’ll be happy to hear this!) and don’t forget to clone this repo to build your own plugin! And by that I ofc mean to compile it on your own!
- compiler error
After digging for an hour you find a requirement in an obscure issue opened and closed cause “ah yes we have a dependency not stated anywhere” *close issue and never add it to the project*
Fine, fine I can survive this bs
- another compiler error, no solution found after 2 hours
Honestly? Why the fuck do I need to compile this stuff? Just give me a damn npm package I can use? Goddamn it’s just transpiling, you don’t need access to my OS! (Aside for fs to save the files, and which btw is accessible via nodejs)
Now, I COULD download the latest realease as a precompiled, but… honestly?
I give up, I’ll do some shitty rest apis cause the customer’s not paying me enough for even THINKING to go trough this shit again when they’ll ask an iOS app. Or having colleagues asking me to help them understand how to do it.
Side note: also add typescript support to the web-code-generation ffs! Why does node have it and web don’t?5 -
Q: Does JS allow you to write functions to return functions?
A: Yes it does.
Doesn't mean you should do this. What's wrong with you?9 -
Ahh, management. They now decided to implement yet another clown role. Release manager…
😬
I am leaving. I just must leave this workplace!
They have so many roles now and it’s getting increasingly difficult to avoid them. I thought we were flying low before to avoid the radar (we use ci/cd, all automated, deploy all days of the week, so we are good. I mean, we go from business need to implement with (some) quality in minutes. Yes, we make mistakes and we fix them rapidly and continuously).
It will be difficult to stay. I really thought I would enjoy it here but management is making it pretty clear that they are not serious about software. They want fancy titles and pretend to work.
Fire em all I say! No one will notice that they are gone. 🤷🏼♂️4 -
Programming at a job to me is no longer creating something fun and valuable; it's more like figuring out why shit doesn't work, con-stant-ly.
It' s like coming in to your desk every morning, dreading the day because there's yesterday's shit to fix. "Hmm, what shall today be like? Oh yes, troubleshooting why my database model doesn't work, redesign it completely and break my mind over db details. The next day? Having to redesign my classes to implement new patterns because apparently the current design isn't good enough." Even if you work on new deliverables, that's just new problems in disguise anyway.
Pleasant? Not really.
lol.3 -
Leave it to an investing company 'dUe DiLigAnCe' document to list the following requirement:
"Schema of computing infrastructure setups for development, testing, and production"
Ah yes, the highly technical and well-known term of "schema of computing infrastructure"
God I hate business people, so clueless
BRB going to start my own business and make real money. if these neanderthals are top investors, i can be too2 -
So it me again and loviing my life at this tech startup..... i feel like I'm actually achieving something thogh at a slow pace
I know i can give out more to this startup.....but there is this 1 manager in our technical department......FUCK the old man thinks he knows everything and so damn arrogant.... at one time he made a fucking simple error which was fucking obvius but the man you cant tell him anything
if anything goes wrong or if anything isnt working the FUCKING old man is quick to throw the blame on people which i feel isnt supposed to be a mind set of some1 in the technical department..... I get it yes sometimes it will be the person making errors but even when you do it right and its not coming out as its supposed to be the damn OLD FUCKING MAN says you are doing it wrong.....then he steps in and bang....it fels and he'll be like "WHAT? HOW WHATS GOING ON...."
and me silently will be like MAKE IT WORK FUCKING OLD GENIUS
I cant even bring in new ideas and systems into the company......hell be like WE ALREADY HAVE SYSTEMS IN PLACE.... guess what..... no fucking system is being used -
I wonder which is worse:
1. all day long every day doing things you MUST do and running out of hours in the day to do them all
2. all day long every day doing things you WANT to do and running out of hours in the day to do them all1 -
Unity Engine lures you into trying it out with its simple starting Tools.
But once you realize this is just a fassade - it's too late and the trap got you.
You're now in limbo of to simple code which isn't compatible with the more complicated features!
Oh you try to fix this bug here? Let me suggest you 6 year old solutions from Unity Version that are not supported anymore!
Sorry just have to say it: Unity is big pile of sh*t! I don't know who had the idea of making this frankenstein-monster!
Just to consider thinking not only making one monster - NO!
Lets do a whole bunch of iterations and versions of this monster and yes you guessed it: they are not compatible to each other!1 -
Does being dictate consciousness or does consciousness dictate being?
In this layman form, the answer is undefined. But let's dig deeper.
The layman form doesn't account for the difference between discrete and continuous. Without that difference, the paradox of Achilles and the Tortoise can't be solved. Yes, it took from ancient Greeks up until 17th century to solve it, introducing that distinction.
Both being and consciousness are discrete entities. This way, technically being was the first, because you were born to it. But when you became self-aware, your consciousness started to dictate being, and not the other way around.
If being truly fully dictate consciousness, then consciousness can be cut away by Occam's razor. In the same way, your parents are technically the reason you exist at all, but if that fact fully dictated who you are, then _you_ could be cut away in similar fashion.
Contrary to that, if consciousness fully dictated being all the time, being could be cut away too.
So, yes, being created your consciousness. But later, when your consciousness was created, it started to dictate being. This is the only way they're both can't be cut and are aligned with the timeline.6 -
Today, I took my Apple In-Ear Headphones (yes, those rare beasts), retrofitted it with double-flanged silicone tips, and slammed them as far as I can into my ear canals.
It sounded better than everything I heard so far. As a person with synaesthesia who also loves music, I tried a _lot_ of earphones of all price ranges.
Apparently I accidentally reinvented Etymotic Research.3 -
Do you use rust for production apps? if yes:
1. which framework do you use to build the server?
2. how do you work with mongodb?
3. how do you handle authorizations?
4. any beginner friendly project idea?1 -
Wanted to download Ballance (amazing game btw) to my IBM ThinkPad running XP. Wi-Fi download speed in SeaMonkey (the only modern browser for XP) was super slow, obviously, so I just opened my MacBook running Ventura, downloaded the game, and then SEAMLESSLY connected to my ThinkPad. Yes, to Windows XP. Out of the box. Good luck doing it on Linux. If that isn't convenience, I don't know what is.10
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If you are answering a yes or no question with an overcomplicated explanation just to show off, and in the end it turns out it was 99% either yes or no, then please go fuck yourself.3
-
Anyone here willing to validate my development tool idea by filing in 5 yes/no questions?
https://forms.gle/MjTdCUXnwcd2T3ix6
Many thanks!3 -
I literally create a template of flutter project with state manager (provider) . Other words, I hate setting up a new project in flutter every Fking time. So I created a Cli (written in dart) app that flutter create something something and delete the main.dart and download the templates from my source from GitHub. Like a few folders and files.
Yes...I am this lazy2 -
Mikhail Gorbachev, yes, that ex-USSR president, has a fucking Grammy (!) (https://grammy.com/grammys/artists/...)
Also, you can win Grammy without recording any music, because Grammy is also given to writers (!) who write musical album notes (!!). So the guy who wrote five fucking paragraphs for some Beatles album has a Grammy without fucking releasing any music!2 -
You get promoted to Tech Lead.
You get 2 members in your team.
Production Go Live season.
Both members unavailable due to "urgent" tasks on every weekend.
"Hello! Yes sir? Noone's available? I need to connect?"
My toxic self, that never shows itself : "Screw this shit, y m I still here"6 -
Each organism have its intellectual limit, don’t you agree?
If yes
What is the intellectual limit of humans?12 -
Quest..
To copy a file from a Windows Phone ( Lumia series. ) to a Windows 10 desktop PC, what are my options ?
Ideally I'd like simple solutions that don't involve lots of complications, or sending files several times around the world to get to my PC, something simple and local would be peachy.
Since my previous phone about 20 years old, involved a USB cable, some software that doesn't like to run on Windows 10..
Surely we have come along a bit since then, right..
Is there some magic app/etc. that gives me a folder on my Windows Phone that I can just copy stuff too and it magically appears on my PC..
Yes I have Wifi, no I don't really have any servers under the dining room table anymore, but there is a Vista laptop running the doorbell..
So, my options ?9 -
Anytime I write a line of code that works correctly the first time, I’m ecstatic. If I write a whole block or function that works right the first time, I freak out with happiness. Yes, I’m that bad at coding. The rest of y’all probably do such things on the regular and it no biggie. But for me, it’s vanishingly rare.
-
Hey guys i am a javascript web developer who loves his stack lot sadly in my internship i was forced to learn php and Laravel and build a full stack website with auth cruds with predefined templates in less than two weeks .
i have to say Laravel sucks comparing it to something like aspnet, Nestjs, Nextjs or Express i found myself overwhelmed with learning in a very short period and what makes things worst is the fact that no one in the agency i am in is helping or speaking with me i asked help from a Senior guy and he was like "i am too busy"...
I also can't quit since this internship is for school purpose so yes rip for me3 -
i got into reddit recently (yes never tried reddit before). I love it. and i always loved devrant but now i cant stop wondering... couldnt have all this been replaced with a subreddit?
(i tried looking into tech subreddit, but still didn't find a tech ranting subreddit yet which im finding to be very odd)7 -
Take this combo:
English (or any spoken language) + Mathematics
Is this like:
HTML + Javascript
Yes, I went there. I compared Mathematics to Javascript.4 -
This is my first one :)
I am currently persuing B.Tech in CSE, and yes I am thinking that I can crack Google.
Jokes apart let me cout<<"Hello World"<<endl; first.1 -
(No punchlines just a rant sorry, very angry at this person. Can't leave the club. Talked to seniors about it. Talked to coworkers for some voluntary help. No help here ;-;)
Yesterday: we need to have a meet to plan things out. 3 PM?
Rainbow eating monster: Yes
Yesterday 5 PM: Reminder
Rainbow shitting monster: I can't I have important things
Yesterday 5:01 PM: Children eating monster (in group): hey yall watching the event going on rn
Yesterday 5:02 PM: is this what you're busy with?
Rabbit pooping monster: this of course I can't miss. And anyways I have 5 more things to do: thing that I've already done, this club meet that you asked me to do yesterday and I said I'd have done, a meet with a friend, I'm having lunch now, and a meet with you. Hence I can't meet with you.
...
Today (in group): Kidney stealing monster: @me (irrelevant to discussion) can you meet for other thing that *I* was supposed to do a week ago?
Will you be available @me at 5 PM?
Okay everyone, assuming @me is available, tentatively we meet at 5 PM.
Today 12 PM: i wake up to this faeces3 -
Git: "Your local changes to the following files would be overwritten by checkout. [...]
Please commit your changes or stash them before you switch branches.
Aborting"
Fucking nitpicking, that's not "Aborting", that's meant to be:
"Dear user, would you like to overwrite your current changes, even more so as you are currently in a so-called detached head state anyway, as you obviously just checked out an old tag to try a temporary rebuild of an old project state."
Yes, the build targets are checked in, as this can be very useful in some scenarios.
It's just! some! CSS! from the SCSS!
Stop "Aborting"!5 -
in our native language.
ho -> yes
"ho" means "yes"
and we can use this sentence in same connotation as
"wait a bit, yeahhhhh."
and same for our native language too.
and it sounds llike
"wait a bit, hooooooeooo"
or
"pakhana, hoooooeee"5 -
My in-laws seem allergic to keeping fruit on the fridge. In a 40° heat. No wonder half the fruit are spoiled by next morning.
My algorithm for storing produce:
Is it fresh produce? => (No) use another algo. (X)
Is it potatoes or onions? => (Yes) put it in a bowl in a closet (X)
::: Put it all in the fridge, dammit. -
Need advice:
So this recruiter from AWS reached out to me for a SDE job. I said yes I’m interested and scheduled an interview. She didn’t show up. I politely said would you like to schedule another time 30 min after the empty session was over. She said yes. Then the day after she sends me a message saying they can’t hire students. (I’m 20 yo second year electrical engineering student but I have decent dev experience ~3-4 years) I tell her I’m not planning on continuing with my 3rd year next fall. She says no I’m hiring from the “industry only”. And I try to tell her I’ve never had an internship before and all of this work experience is all by myself and not university related….she stopped responding…..what am I supposed to do? It’s not the first time that this has happened. They see “graduating 2024” they immediately bounce. I tried hiding what year my university education starts/ends….didn’t work…5 -
1. Is chatgpt forbidden to be used in dev jobs?
2. If yes why?
3. If on Technical interview they ask me a question, i dont know the answer or im not too sure about the answer, can i:
3.1. say that i can just use chatgpt to find the answer and implement the solution?
3.2. say that i can just google it because im not a fucking robot to store the whole internet infirmation inside my brain, and therefore implement the solution?22 -
Does anyone here work for an agency that's successfully adopted a 4 day working week? If yes then I'd be curious as to how you made it work4
-
Get my lightweight WASM "runtime" thing to work properly.
Don't you just hate all the emscringtem glue code? Yes, me too. And fuck WASI.8 -
In my latest interview. It's the first in a overly morose process that includes many.
Me: So, about the scope of responsibilities...
Interviewer: <translated from fart noises> "we're a dynamic company"
<translated again> do any shit some big headed brass asks of you
Me: it involves many meetings?
Interviewer: <dismissive fart noises>
Me: Is it for an open field project or an ongoing structure?
Interviewer: We have many ongoing projects, and you allocation may be changed dynamically <so, fart noises>
Me: about the salary...
Interviewer: <Extra-stinky-fart noises>
...
It went on for an hour, never an straight answer. Not even for the name of the company.
...
Me: Have you noticed that, even that you are interviewing me, I'm the one asking all the questions?
Interviewer: <actual fart> yes, you really seem to have the knack for it!
Me: ...
Interviewer: so, any more questions?
Me: Yes. Are you flammable? <actual quote> -
Is there anyone who switched from Java backend (Spring Boot) to Nodejs? If yes what was your experience? Some people say it's a downgrade because of lower performance and less specialized tooling want do you think about that? Also what about salary? Is it the same level?11
-
!tech
i am a fan of everything mcu but recent ms marvel feels so cringy and awkward as an Indian. the main actress is okay, but almost all of the casting is from non Indian/pakistani descent. thankfully those guys don't try to speak hindi/urdu otherwise i would have snorted while watching 😂. the blend of languages feels so weird i neither like their hindi nor English.
imo squid game like adaptation would have been better , having everyone from same descent and speaking the same language while having everything dubbed by professionals for other languages.
and what's with the colors? mann that's too much color for even the most colourful countries of the world.
and songs? wow. when i was growing up, the movies at that time had dialogues like "when you are in love , you hear background music" , but even those movies didn't had any background music so cringy as this.
also from what i know pakistani culture is way more punjabi than indian culture in general. but here , pwople are speaking perfect hindi even in a mosque!
makes me wonder how the world sees these 2 countries. every 5 minutes i felt that this is more Indian adaptation of a story than pakistan. they just blended the countries' culture brutally. i bet the conversation between director and scriptwriter must be like:
d :hi there
s : hello
d: so you have a movie for me
s : yes sir i do . it's called miss marvel
d : oh so it's about carol denvers? i thought that wasn't until 2024
s : no sir it's about a Pakistani girl with superpowers
d : oh okay. wait did you say Pakistani?
s : yes sir. a pakistani girl born in n-
d : yeh yeh yeh. listen we need to add lots of colors
s : why-?? ok sure sir.
d : and elephants. and borses. also , everyone must occasionally.
s : bur sie those are all the cuisines of an indian wedding . and why we want horses?
d: doesn't matter, i want horses.
s: buf s-? ok fine1 -
Not asking a dev to do a whole document rundown of built components and then asking creative to fucking add new shit making the document worthless. Oh yes. Then complain why the document was not up to date.
-
ChatGPT talks too much. You ask one simple question, it starts to write down textbook for you to read.
Seriously dude I think you just need a yes or no answer better still give me an answer in not more than 20 words.
Another thing, I think the reason why they did not give this ai a voice is because of wokeness.
If it is a male feminist will rise, if it is female most countries would not adapt it and feminist will also talk.
I love this AI. I just accomplished a task for 5 that would have taken me at least 2 days to complete.4 -
I just had a long talk with Character.ai; and well what can I say. Holy crappy crapping crap...
Is it perfect? No.
Is it above the comprehensive speech level that I though would be ever possible in my lifetime if I got asked about it just 1 or 2 years ago? Yes
Either that, or it is fake and provides replies from actual humans -
Working day 2 of 2023… (yes, I got the year right this time)
Another day of CDK, and cursing how far it can at points lack behind in features. It’s only annoying when you’d actually want to use one of those new features. 4 issues resolved today, only 3 (known issues) on my backlog before this one’s done.
Oh, and TIL that one of my first tasks in my new role (that I can transfer to once I’m done with this project) is to write some IaC. Happy days. It’s pretty much all I’ve done for gawd knows how long. So good nothing ever changes.2 -
For those who do hiring, do you find behavioral questions to be useful?
If yes, do you prefer it when the candidate gives specific answers from their work experience? Do you use a rubric? For example, do you use the STAR (situation, task, action, response) method or something similar?
If no, why don’t you use behavioral interviewing?1 -
ah yes this life.
the life of a persons stuck temporarily in a dirty town with only yawning oblivion before and behind even if he does what he should and significantly reduces his income in the process and therefore the wine and steaks stop. sigh.
thats worked so well for all of them health wise. heh -
Damn, I hate Spring and most CoC frameworks. We’re using it from 2 years, I read most of the docs and it still gives issue for basic taks which takes hours to fix because I have to guess the exact convention which allows the program to process corner cases which aren’t explained in the docs. Yes, in the end the code is more elegant but it’s worth it when issues which could be solved in minutes by a trivial if/else statement takes hours (rigorously on pair programming™️ since being one of the few which actually read the docs I end up with lots of calls for help for Spring related issues by other teammates) and huge headaches to fix following the framework’s way?2