My recent failure to build a responsive website according to a template tells me I should have worked with CSS a bit more.

The thing is, I write the type of CSS that passes the CSS validation with flying colors, but doesn't work as it should. Am I a minority(I hate that word), in that?

Now I have to redo the website or I'm not passing the exam. Lovely.

One of my neighbours came by today.

Her: So... I heard you're working on a website
Me: Yes, correct
Her: Nice, and does it all work?
Me: Yeah
Her: I use a WordPress template myself too

WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE SUCH LOW EXPECTATIONS OF ME

My friend build a website on Ruby on Rails for his semester end project.He used Lorem ipsom to represent text.
Our professor thought he used some template and gave him 0.

This is why we test stuff peeps

Frontend team : We pushed our code. Please give instructions regarding integration with Backend.

Me : Alright. I'll provide you the API docs and you can continue with integration.

F : But that's your job. No?

Me (didn't want to argue) : I'll look into it. Let me check out the frontend till then.

* Goes on to see the frontend *

I am kidding you not, that moth*rf*ck*r pushed an entire template along with dummy text.

Me : Hey! This doesn't seem right. It's just a template you got off the internet.

F : Yeah! That's what I have to do. To put on the dynamic content from database is your work. Don't put your responsibilities on me!!

Are you f*cking kidding me?! Do your work right or I am reporting you to the team lead!

Meanwhile, team lead : *sips coffee. Disappears for months*

Bastards!

A billion dollar company just sent me a nice email template.

Probably the dev missed a tutorial.

DEV 101

NEVER USE PRODUCTION DATA FOR DEVELOPMENT

Where do I even begin?

You all know the story. I was handed this lovely out of date Django site and told to set up a development environment. This, with ZERO python or Django experience.

It has one document. Which was wrong. There was no indication of what versions of anything was correct. There was a network of 8 sites strapped together. There were three revisions of every single template stuffed into one massive folder.

Oh and did I mention, the database, static files (including media) and Django site were all on the same server with debug still active and using the development settings file.

I think I died during the process somewhere.

"Do you know the HTML? I need an email template"

Nah, the website just fucking magically made itself, it was amazing.

“Please develop my complicated eCommerce website. The cost should be somewhere between $0 and $100 because I can do it with a template in Wix or SquareSpace or hire a bot non-person from Fiverr to do it for me if you don’t honor the price I’m asking.”

—United States

Wasted 45mins interviewing a "developer" who couldn't use git, the command line, CSS preprocessors or task runners. His sites were all template rubbish and he wanted £300($370) per day.

Me: I have been doing really similar tasks I'm going to spend some time making a template for it.

Supervisor: ok just don't spend to much time on it we have a lot to do.

Me: shouldn't take too long

1 hour later.

Supervisor : how's the work going.

Me: almost done with the template.

Supervisor: this is taking you way to long I need you to just get back to work.

Me: ok

He leaves and I continue work on the template.

30 mins later.

Show him the template.

Me: I cut my time on this specific task by 80%

Supervisor: good job glad I knew you should do it.

WTF YOU WERE TELLING ME NOT TO.

PM: We really need to solve this problem fast...

Me: So you want me to solve the element width or to reimplement the template?

PM: Yes! (and leaves before I can say anything)

Me: *poker face*

So, as the lead UX/UI designer, I was working with the marketing officer on the new e-mail template of the company. It took us at least one week to get a good settle – 'cause, you know, she's so skilled on that – doing back and forth and arguing on every detail.

Then she sent me a PPT file with the content and wording for each kind of e-mail.
After 3 days of work, I finished implementing the template and pushed the project in production.

~3 months later
MO: How's your work going on the template?
Me: Erm, sorry? You mean, the e-mails?
MO: Yes! Can you show me the result?
Me: Well, the result is online for...like...3 months?
*Surprised* MO: Hum, yeah? But I didn't validate it!
*Wince* Me: Well, yes, you did, we worked together on it and we finally found a nice settle.
MO: Yes, but the content? Can you send me one of each kind so I can double-check?
Me: ...
*to the rescue* CEO (and husband of MO): It's OK, I've already validate them.
MO: Oh, ok. But I want to double-check. I'll do it later, ok.

~3 weeks later
MO: Can you tell me how I can receive the registration e-mail?
Me: ...
*to the rescue, joking* CTO: Well, did you try to turn your computer off and on again?
MO: Oh, you really think this will work? Let me save my work first!
Me: *BOOOOM*

TL;DR: The marketing officer of my company does nothing productive and is making the company losing a lot of money, but she also make me lose my time for bullshits.
At least I can laugh about it on devRant.

3 fucking years already that I introduced fucking git in this company and people still fail to grasp the fucking basics... Wtf?

If you push a fucking change wait for the fucking message ... If a fucking fail message appears telling you to pull before pushing to remote, just don't ignore it... Wtf... I can tell it is the case just by looking at the message template, I don't even need to read the motherfucker...

And its not that they are stupid, those are smart motherfuckers we are talking about...

When the client sends you a template they want to use and half of the css file looks like this...

My CTO gave me the "designer of the year" - award, after I successfully replaced the logo from a provided template html file.

I know you guys probably have seen the worst of the worst...

But have you seen a js used to generate xml and send it to backend as json then parse it to xml? No template literals btw so there’s a lot of multiline with lots of + here and there

Or using sql to request web service?

Question for the senior front end web developer here:

If you guys got a project (big or small), do you guys usually:
1. Get a template from another website and modify or style it to suits your need, or
2. Build it from scratch?

This applies to website like devrant, or swag store

Among my fellow developers at work, there is one guy who stands out because he actually strives to write modular, reusable and readable code. He literally saved me weeks of development by making his code modular enough that I can simply use it almost like a mixin where I only need to provide an alternative template. Note that the feature I'm talking about is for a pretty much sophisticated business process related to handling credit card data. Others in my workplace would just couple their logic tightly with their feature/scope's views.

I really wanna hug him and be his BFF now. #nohomo tho.

Worst hackaton? The one when i realized too late i was stuck with a bunch of kids bragging about being "devs" because they knew how to download an html template for wordpress 😭

The fuck did you think was going to happen?

User: ITs dragging their feet which is why x hasn't gone out yet.

PM: Why hasn't this gone out yet?

Me: They sent me a template then another and then said wait that's wrong too I'll send you the correct one.

I've yet to receive this and no one's provided me the data to check over.

PM: Well that's not what x said.

Me: Well my email chain says so. (Proceed to show them the emails)

PM then walks off and blasts the users. Your #blamegame ended the moment you emailed me knob shits.

Downloaded a Hello World template for a HTML/hybrid mobile app... My node_modules folder has a backup of The Internet now...

Made a simple college project using Node.Js, MongoDB, React... Wrote everything from scratch, starting from HTML to CSS and Routes even OAuth. No template was used.. Guess what teacher said...

She said I love the second project made using wordpress template because, "It looks amazing and beautiful"

One of the reasons why I hate college...

"This is Andy from [COMPANY_NAME]."

Hello Andy!

"we have just spoken on the phone"

Did we, that's odd because my phone never rang.

"in regard to a PHP focused Software Development role central Manchester as a PHP developer"

A php focused role dealing with php, where do i sign up?

"working for one of the U.K.s most well established and fastest growing international retailers with a turnover of £500 million in profit in 2016 and are continuously growing year on year, however I couldn’t reach you."

I thought you said we had just spoken?

"I’ve looked over an old CV of yours and feel the position fits well with your experience and I’m keen to discuss these roles further with yourself and find out your situation."

"Please can you call me ASAP on the details below or let me know a good time to talk."

Wait, didn't we just speak?

Did anybody of you automate job hunting?

Like Webscraping online job offers, extract adress, keywords and put it into a cv template, set up personalised html-email and website.
Extra perk, a neural network which composes the cover letter.

that i would need.

Wordpress :(

Here is another piece of garbage from a previous Wordpress "developer".

This is NOT the generated HTML, it's the actual source code within a custom category template.

The client has said their archives stopped working this year.

*** MASSIVE FACE PALM ***

When every time your coworker start a new project, they just use the template out of the box including the sass, less and other unused dependencies eventhough they don’t use it

On the presentation for my database project my team and I showed a NodeJS + Mongo + VueJS project with cloud storage capability, nothing fancy but did everything from scratch (from token auth and system encryption to the frontend CSS and the database) the teacher made some questions and meh'd at it.

Behold team two's project, WordPress with a standard template and phpMyAdmin, teacher loves it because "it's so beautiful"

Guess who just failed that class?

God I love college, it's the best time investment I've ever done and it'll surely pay out.

so... i'll probably be joining my first job in 17 days.
My profile is *supposed to be* devops engineer (not that i know much about it, they just felt i was better suited for it than java programming (and i do agree)), although, apparently, the offer letter states java engineer and i talked to them about it, they said that it's a standard template but u are chosen for devops only. i hope that is true.

mostly i feel really upset that college will be over, but i am kinda excited about the job too.

wish me luck guys 😅😅😅

Stupid bluemix console, build a translator web apps which processed by translator api services. When I pushed it, error occurred *panic begins*. Then I decided to create a default netcore template and push it. It worked. Push the former one again and it worked.

Stupid server honestly

The moment you realize a "professional" web development company uses a fucking free WordPress template to deploy their website. Happens way too often, just look for a credit line at the footer.

Anger anger anger rant rant rant. Software #1 is bad fuck em, software #2 is bad fuck em, rant rant rant rant, I hate software #3 because reasons a b and c, customers this customers that, boss says '<str_boss_quote_1>' makes me mad, is idiot, anger.

I'll fill in the blanks when I have time just wanted to get the template down.

Template for every Silicon Valley episode be like:

1. Start solving problem from previous episode.
2. Creating some shit that solves the problem.
3. Initialize new problem.

Damn it. I'm still hooked!!

Outlook is the shittiest mail client ever .. whenever I develop an email template it comes nicely to any other email clients... except for this shit which ruins everything..

Client: Can you build me a custom Wordpress site to look like this WordPress template..
Me: Sure, but why not buy the rights to the template?
Client: I want it custom.
Me: what do you want custom?
Client: the content on all the pages. The template is all in french or something.
Me: kills self.

Be me, making a self hosted website-blog thing because why not

making the backend: yeah cool, easy, ive been doing this stuff for a while

making a frontend: ehh, some template will do fine, im not that great at js

making an admin page: yay this is actually fun

setting up portforwarding on my router to my pi: fucking piece of shit work already dammit

@Everyone, I would like to congratulate @Haxk20 on being the victor of our little upvote fight.

It was a hard battle, and although I was ahead briefly, I would like to name @Haxk20 the victor!

Starting ++:
@Haxk20: 36,872
@C0D4: 35,401

As of post:
@Haxk20: 39,935
@C0D4: 38,454

That's an impressive: 6,116 up votes in total from everyone involved.

As I have noticed requests for the repo, i would like to state It will be deleted, but I will re-release it as an empty template in the event others want to use it later - as per our original agreement.

why does everyone always give me backtalk when i want to make my files smaller and more readable

"no you should put your scripts, style and template all in one file, theres no need to put it separate"

alright while we are at it, lets just write the entire project in 1 single file

Irony is seeing a "Web design" template on a website builder...

I just wasted 20 minutes debugging a component that, when included in the parent template, caused an untraceable infinite loop.

Out of desperation, I finally just renamed component to "pants". It works.

...huh?

Renamed back to its original name. THAT works too.

...Huh??

Awesome, first paying gig and I get to build a site for a local school system!

Superintendent and 3 network admins at the stakeholder meeting to approve the design?

Wait, you don't want the school colors, but ones from your favorite football team?

Seriously? Blinking police light line art bookending the alert block?

You.... Want my design as a Dreamweaver template?

I'm just going to go sit in a corner and cry now...

My Flask App all of a sudden started throwing 'Error 500 - Internal Server Error' pages at me for a new subpage I made.
I couldn't figure WTF was wrong because the method responsible for the page literally just returned the HTML-template.

After giving up yesterday night, I noticed this morning that I forgot the quotes around the HTML-file name...

>be me
>join new firm
>only developer
>Task : Migrate our PHP based website to reactjs
>okay not bad, I can do this
>*Completes in 2 days*
>get inputs from boss and he gives
>go back again to inform we're now SASS integrated
>asks for new wireframes
>wtf lol.exe
>wants new design for the same website like of the parent company which is WordPress template
>*Internally : I'm a developer, I don't do wireframes*
>okay no problem

Seriously, if you wanted a new design in the first place why didn't you said so?

The guy that developed this template redefined every bootstrap class and now i have to maintain it... kill me please

"Don't you like the new site? (:"
I mean yeah, it's an upgrade from what was done in 2011 with 2007 recycled code.
But now the first access takes almost 10 seconds.
10
seconds.
Was fucking WordPress necessary?
We went from a hotel booking PHP template to a blogging template.
60+ freaking Mb of shit, not just content but *shit*. (from the admin panel, only 3 of the 10+ sections are needed)
At least they won't bother me now about the main page frontend.
Oh wait, they do. So I had to learn how to hack the theme header behaviour because of course, cute boy WordPress couldn't care less on how the header behaves. I see more hacks incoming of fucking course.

Man I fucking hate WordPress.

I have never seen anything like this before...and I don't want to see this again.

Never mess with a motivated developer. I will make your life difficult in return.

Me: we need server logs and stats daily for analysis
DBA: to get those, you need to open a ticket
Me: can't you just give me SFTP access and permissions to query the stats from the DB?
DBA: No.

*OK.... 🤔🤔🤔*

*Writes an Excel Template file that I basically just need to copy and paste from to create a ticket*

This process should not take me more than 2mins 👍😁😋🙂😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙

For them.... 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Just stumbled across this gem last night. You guys know how biggest online games site in my country (also backed up by largest ISP) handles reset password requests?

After clicking "Forgot password", it asks you to login to Gmail (cause everyone is assumed to have and use one, right?) and then opens "New Email" window prefilled with some template data which you're expected to finish (in screenshot below).

And I just wanted to play some Ludo with my friends.. 🙄🙈

Designing email templates is the worst thing that a human being can possibly do, I guess.

When you use yourself as a rubber duck and you realize how much of a dumbfuck you are...

Fuck me, I was using a variable called staticHTML in ejs template. But when passing the variable, I was using staticHtml.

Goddamn

Employer asked, whether I could tweak the site's admin template that was made in 2005.
It uses tables to generate new webpages.
It uses php.
UI is a nonsense spaggethi crap.
Whole thing is shit.

Well, for good money I will just write everything from scratch. Took me ~10 hours and I already have the functionality that was in the original crap. Crazy how these 'devs' scam people!

Made a Software Specification Template in LaTex, now whole class is using it.

Ran a code inspection on a template project for exercise from my university

Let's make a WPF apllication... They said.
Let's add a ScrollViewer... They said.
Let's put a DataGrid inside the ScrollViewer... They said.
Let's disable scrollwheel on the DataGrid... They said.
Let's add a UserControl to a ColumnTemplate in the DataGrid... They said.
Let'a put a ComboBox with a custom template inside the UserControl... They said.

Now let's hope nobody tries to use the scrollwheel on the ComboBox.

Now I have to convince somebody that it's pretty much impossible to enable scrollwheel on the ComboBox.

!rant
The more I learn about advanced C++ the more I love this language. C++'s template system is so insanely cool!
Just made a proof of concept expression templates based linear algebra library for my own projects. It was actually a lot of fun to make, and seeing it spit out optimized, loop-fused code with no temporary variables...magic.
Long live C++.

The last 3 days I spent with almost no sleep, just to deliver a shitty WordPress project, then when I thought I just finished and got rid of it...

"Hey, why this part of the layout isn't like our designer defined?"

"But it is, check the template I received, see?"

(a few minutes without a response on whatsapp)

"...oh, we sent you the WRONG layouts, sorry...we need to redo the front page, content pages and listing, also we have to..."

*turns cell off*

*slams my hand against the nearest table with all my might*

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"

Thank you, designers, I "wuv" y'all

Spec'ing out a data analysis tool for several billion transactions and I got this when sending the final spec to the client.

Client: "I don't see why it takes so long, I downloaded this template from theme forest and edited it in dreamweaver, it only took 3 hours"

Typical LinkedIn post in my feed, a template:

"""

There was this problems. I does not give up.
Look where I am. Am I awesome guys? I am cool right?

Be like me, look where I am. I am cool right?
This is my profound wisdom, look how smart and wise I am. *Proceed sucking own dick*

A modern god inside a human body. Be more like me. I am cool right? Everyone else is looser.

#MyOwnName

Tags : Pretty much every other person on here that does this.

"""

P.s.: All grammatical errors are intentional and infact should be included for increased effect.

That feeling when you're on Facebook or Social Media and you see companies promoting their new website thanking and congratulating the guy who designed and developed their website and you see it was made with with wix, or a free WordPress template.

HOLD MY REDBULL, YOU AINT NO FUCKING DESIGNER OR DEVELOPER —YOU DRAGGED AND DROPPED, LIKE YOU WERE AS A BABY. (😂)

Here's the WordPress template, he said. It just needs a few tweaks, he said.

I once wrote a few really nice creative generic classes for an ASP.net project. Later, senior decided that we have to rewrite the whole thing, so he initialized a new project from a template and added my files in helpers/ as a starting point.

Just wrote my own webpack plugin for VueJS.

In serverless application there isn't a good way to pre render a single page web application as there is no server to do this task.

What we can do is use serverside rendering with webpack to locally (or in CI) generate the static HTML markup and include them in a template file like EJS.

In that way, the client browsers would not have to wait for the initial render and the search engines will also be happy.

This feels good! Time to upload it as a npm package 😇

What kind of cancerous shit is this? Who the fuck writes special template file for CLOSING divs? Why is this crappy shitty system so popular? It is a bunch of quirky and tangled code written randomly all over the folder.. Wtf seriously, is this "modern coding" or am I missing something?

DevRant formatting template:

I'm not [insert negative trait] but [insert rant contradicting the first statement]

So I just bought an iubenda GDPR privacy policy, and literally filled it with any services I ever used, ever seen, ever could come in handy and have a genuine laugh how it would look like, if one single website used all the services, with all the options.

Great 9$ for sure, now I'll probably make myself a template generator, that removes and adds things, depending on what services I use.

Account Manager Brief Template

"We haven't confirmed any of the desired functionality, but we (the AM and the Client) have decided that it must be built in [INSERT CMS/FRAMEWORK/TECH OF THE WEEK HERE]."

Manager redesigned large parts of a website template that I have been working on.

now, this did not bother me one bit but I am pretty sure it has to do with the delivery of the message. She was so happy about the redesign and it really did look better. I could not find it in me heart to not comply and just be happy. Plus she always lets me come in super late :V and she really is pretty and very nice to us.

oh well.

Boss: Use the same template that site [X] is using for this project.
Me: [X] is WordPress. Our project is asp.Net/C#. I can't
Boss: Why?
Me: You can't put a round peg in a square hole!
Boss: Why?
Me: [thinking about mortgage] I'll do it.
Boss: Why didn't you say so in the first place?
Me: [die a little inside]

Designer makes an app Mockup using an iOS template. I make the android version and the ios dev makes his version.

Upon completion, the client rejects mine saying that I forgot to put back buttons in the top left corner of each screen.

My face when he didn't reject the ios version for not having a hardware back button. 🤦‍♂️

One time I was building a custom modal for some crappy WordPress template and I was having trouble with the header rendering above my backdrop, after digging into the CSS I realized the headers z-index was literally set to 9001.

Thanks to Template literals 

To save my concatenation of the days

I think I made someone angry, then sad, then depressed.

I usually shrink a VM before archiving them, to have a backup snapshot as a template. So Workflow: prepare, test, shrink, backup -> template, document.

Shrinking means... Resetting root user to /etc/skel, deleting history, deleting caches, deleting logs, zeroing out free HD space, shutdown.

Coworker wanted to do prep a VM for docker (stuff he's experienced with, not me) so we can mass rollout the template for migration after I converted his steps into ansible or the template.

I gave him SSH access, explained the usual stuff and explained in detail the shrinking part (which is a script that must be explicitly called and has a confirmation dialog).

Weeeeellll. Then I had a lil meeting, then the postman came, then someone called.

I had... Around 30 private messages afterwards...

- it took him ~ 15 minutes to figure out that the APT cache was removed, so searching won't work
- setting up APT lists by copy pasta is hard as root when sudo is missing....
- seems like he only uses aliases, as root is a default skel, there were no aliases he has in his "private home"
- Well... VIM was missing, as I hate VIM (personal preferences xD)... Which made him cry.
- He somehow achieved to get docker working as "it should" (read: working like he expects it, but that's not my beer).

While reading all this -sometimes very whiney- crap, I went to the fridge and got a beer.

The last part was golden.

He explicitly called the shrink script.
And guess what, after a reboot... History was gone.

And the last message said:

Why did the script delete the history? How should I write the documentation? I dunno what I did!

*sigh* I expected the worse, got the worse and a good laugh in the end.

Guess I'll be babysitting tomorrow someone who's clearly unable to think for himself and / or listen....

Yay... 4h plus phone calls. *cries internally*

Well, today was a fun day playing with Qubes OS. I really did nothing really difficult, I created a template for multimedia pruposes (Netflix, Amazon Prime, Spotify and VLC) based on debian and then create a domain based on that same template.

It works

Still need to fix the screen tearing, but it is nothing really serious, in fact I probably just change the graphic card to the integrated on the motherboard to see if something change.

Probably the next issue will be set a few domains for specific issues:

- Dev [personal]: This will be used for my personal projects.
- Dev [non personal]: For those times I collab with someone / not my stuff
- [√] Work: mail, msTeams, whatever from my job.
- Bank Stuff: I can asure you that
- [√] Multimedia: chill n stuff

and thats all for now.

PD: Ctrl + C, Ctrl + V Will be a nightmare xD

template for motivational letter for Sys admins:

Greetings,

$msg

Spiral out,
$name

PS. I use Arch btw

Why isn't this ready for testing yet?

Could it be that despite multiple meetings emails and face to face conversations none of you have provided me with what I actually need?

Yes I can create you new email and SMS campaigns. But I need two little things first.
1 The template text.
2 The sign off forms from compliance

Without them I can't do shit. So stop chasing me on where we're at because I've been chasing you on this for two weeks.

This shit here is why I'm the grumpy It guy.

WTH...
While styling some frontend stuff with LESS, I experienced that on one page template the <header> was not displaying the given line-height eventhough the whole fscking code was 1:1 identical with the other template in which everything was fine. I checked EVERYTHING... caching, URL, source, classes, open / wrong tags, HEAD, ... I even did a diff compare. NO FSCKING DIFFERENCE!
After one hour of pulling out hair I suddenly saw that in the faulty template file 2 lines were missing:

<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="devRantLang">

WHOEVER DID THIS: YOU ARE FSCKING STUPID!!! (it was me...)

In highschool, I was looking around for schools and universities at which I would start my student career. I went to a grad school one day, to see what it was like to be a student there. The first class I visited was programming for embedded systems. We got the assignment to write Java code to control a boom barrier. The teacher had written the template. And I kid you not, the template had a method of around 20 lines of code - without comments - with the purpose of carrying out a logical OR operation. An operation that literally can be done using an operator in Java: |

Why oh why do they let these people teach, with the result that the students will get used to these bad practises...

"Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of HTML."
>decides to play around with boilerplate template
>opens .HTML file
me:

Documenting. Starting Microsoft Word to fill in a preconfigured template. It contains two numbered lists, but the numbering incorrectly continues from the first list to the second. Right-click > numbering > Set Numbering Value > Start new list. Bang! MS Word fucks up the complete formatting, margins, tabs, paragraph spacing... But the list numbering still continues from the first list to the second.

I SO FUCKING HATE MICROSOFT WORD FOR WINDOWS!!!

Okay, can we just all agree to stop making YABSS? (Yet Another Bootstrap Standard Site)

Yes, Bootstrap can be used for nice things, if you actually dig into it and tweak it, but please don't just copy/paste a fucking getting started template!

FFS! Stop it!

Just learned display css properties. Took me long enough to make a damned HTML template.

Me no likes front end :(

Dude I want to ask you , It's possible for me to call myself as a software engineer if I always got a cancer when I try to create HTML template ? I'm suck as fuck on front-end, I can't even create a single HTML template even if you give me help with css framework. I don't know what to do with HTML and CSS, they're totally fucked up my life.

Today I had to load a javascript file by calling a controller and generating it from a twig template. I feel dirty.

Recently one of my friends got an internship in front-end web, today he messaged me "dude, where I can find a responsive template for xyz category." I gave the link to that.

I told, "why you guys not using bootstrap to make responsive, to begin with".

He said, "my mentor said no to that."

I'm like, you guys download a fucking template but can't use bootstrap. wow.

Github Issue Template:
"Create a report to help us improve - please use detailed titles"

just discovered mailcatcher. love it! <3

can iterate over e-mail template in local environment now

Went into a thesis class today at my University. The team was presenting their project which was something related to web development.
Half way through the presentation, I realized that the template they were using was one that I had uploaded on ThemeForest for sale xD

Sadly they claimed ownership of the template claiming that they created the design. It was not difficult to see that their website was the best looking out of all around.

(Thesis requires us to create our own design and not to purchase it online)

I just can't... 😑 You bought a template, you get a template. PS: Learn English!

In my second year of A levels in secondary school (college) we had to make a quiz game using Microsoft Visual Basic. Was my first time using the software, got annoyed within a few weeks and downloaded a template off the internet. The whole IT department thought I was some form of genius until I crashed the servers (in over 200 schools) trying to hack them 6 weeks later.

Sir if you're reading this, I'm sorry.

Told the client's graphic designer that I could integrate a mockup in a theme in around two days of work...

Received the template files and asks, sooo, the website will be up in two days ?

DUDE. NO.

I had a pretty good laugh just now.
There's this extension I wrote for our client's online shop which enables them to create template files via the backend. Essentially it's just an editor reading and writing files from/to a directory.

So I installed said extension using a package I found locally, thinking it was the latest release. Unfortunately it was not.

As I said the extension writes template files within it's own directory and back when I had packed up the extension, I must had forgotten to delete these template files resulting from tests and messing around.

Long story short, I just received a ticket about a line of text suddenly showing up below the product page description saying: "I like turtles!"

The ticket itself was very professional though and the client didn't forget to mention that the "notice" was not part of their product feed data. No shit! LOL

Finally I was able to look into css grids in more detail and gotta say it's impressive, also "grid-template-areas" made me chuckle for a bit, at how unusual and easy you can define layouts (even compatible with media queries!), which are also heavily obvious and readable, reminds me of the old games where characters were just symbols.

Me: *holy shit there's a lot of code in this template file, I should probably break it up I to components*

*goes through the effort to break everything up into component parts*

Me: *i should quit being lazy and actually register all my templates the way magento wants me to*

*5 hrs later*

Me: fuck this! *<?php include ...?>*

Wrote CSS for a website.

Tested on all current major browsers, works like a charm.

Everyone in the agency I'm freelancing for tested, works like a charm and approved.

Client tests the project and points out some template errors.

We try to reproduce and see nothing wrong.

Then, during a talk with the agency, I have a "brilliant" idea:

- Let's try with Internet Explorer...

Nailed it.

🤪

Ah, the beautiful feeling of fanatically trying to debug the code in a particular file for a few hours only to realise that the error was in a different file...

Fuck you too, C++ template errors.

I hate it when you actually buy a template and it turns out things only align when your images and text are a certain length.

Dear designer no, my images are not all 200 x 200. Screw you :)

Well I wish I could abandon jQuery and bootstrap all together and just use some vuejs admin template with my Laravel app. But things are not that easy and I am a lvl 1.0 vuejs user.

So sorry V girl, you gotta learn how to live with Mr.J for a few more months.

I just got a job as a "Web designer", but I've quickly learned that my job duties involve installing theme forest themes for clients and sticking to the template. I'm not allowed to write my own code. ever. uuuuuuuuggggghhhhhh

"I don't need these auto generated comments by the template"

5 minutes later...

* Searches how to human perform basic human actions *

Second day at work ✌

Just started a website without drawing the template first. What could possibly go wrong..

QMS admin: you only finished the code review, you didn't complete it!

Me: opens review clicks complete

QMS: you didn't export the code review comments!

Me: opens code review again. Clicks Export. Attaches *.txt

QMS: you exported the comments in the wrong format, I can't read them

Me: what is the right format?

QMS: SOP document <random alphanumeric> clearly states the format

Me: spends 20 minutes navigating the piece of crap QMS software with no search function folder by folder.

Finds document.

It's 120 pages and 4 years old.

On page 68, I find "template to be implemented"

Reply to QMS, that document doesn't actually give a reference to a template

QMS: Email my line manager "Please teach your staff how to do a code review"

To whoever wrote every template in index.html instead of separate files: i hope your dick falls off.

My thesis supervisors gave me a set of templates and guidelines for the whole thing and argh.

they constantly assume that I've no fucking idea about academic writing despite the very good graded talks and texts I handed in in the past - granted, they probably often deal with inexperienced students.

but what they've given me.. a) the thesis template does not work, they fucked up some latex packages and b) there's a almost passive aggressive 3 page explanation on academic writing and how wo work with sources and references and they forgot the fucking references lol. There are none included and the references all go like [?].

Cloning a Magento project from FTP. 19693 files. From a basic template.
FUCK YOU MAGENTO!!

You did not bother changing the template... You really think i will expect a [e.g. phone call] ?

Think of C++ template metaprogramming during sex
Thank me later !

Happened this weekend, bought a website template and added it to my git repo and after 10 minutes wait (slow internet and too much images) I realized I added the wrong template

Had to start again 🤦🏼‍♂️😪

Shit night. Sat at my fucking desk to work on my fucking tasks. Started at about 9:30. Now is 12:21 and I'm in my fucking bed.

Guess what I finished? 70% of the new template for fucking home page of one website.

I'm supposed to finish the new design for two websites and present at tomorrow morning meeting.

And I couldn't even finish one full page. My brain is just giving up on everything.

I just have to sleep and get up early. Hope my fucking body get up early.

Problem:
some folks left the angular codebase full of ridicolous console.logs, client was upset as he noticed it during UAT

Solution:
1. add extra script in main template page
window.console.log = function(){};
2. translate it into JSFuck
3. if they ask, pretend it's a super-secret encryption algorithm to improve security

35 million characters in my project already. It is a blank ionic 2 template.

Just discovered Template Literals in JavaScript.

I can die happy now.

Hello, one of the other devs on my team insists that using:

<?=$myVar?>

In a template is super dangerous but:

<?php echo $myVar?>

Is safer.

Why? Is this valid in PHP 7.3?

Said to my manager that a certain template task was easy.

It was not.

C++ template errors.

Probably enough said... But a couple years ago I was interviewing and each interview included, do know about templates. I always answered, "enough to determine what is wrong when there is a compiler error." I always got some form of a chuckle or "wow" and NEVER a follow up question about templates. I received job offers from each interview, they all apparently needed someone who could help get their template code compiling?

Client: Can you have a look at this website template for me?
Me: Sure, what's the address?
Client: You'll need to modify your hosts file to see it...
Me: 😡😷

Me when looking at the C++ template error message novel

I'm incredibly ticked off by decision of using backticks ´ to define template strings on es6...

template strings are nice , but backticks are irritating ugly and unreadable

Visual studio code, I do love you, but your bracket pair highlighting on html inside php files or html inside script tags (eg. Ng-template) is absolute dog shite and makes it impossible to use when you're refactoring markup written by somebody who's never heard of a coding standard or editorconfig.

I know it's probably not an easy thing to sort, some of your dev teams have posted some excellent insights into how it recognises syntax but literally every other editor out there has got this right.

Been working on AWS for about 8 months. Always looked at Cloudformation like an Alien thing. Never thought I'd be the one diving into this Rabbit hole.

But now here I am, 3rd day, trying to Automate the whole infrastructure of my App via Cloudformation.

"Do you know you can even download images via Google search and save it or print it? Guess what, that's the secret to my template images."

Writing hebrew in Latex using a template that doesn't support UTF-8 is the most archaic shit I've done lately. I feel like some sort of a caveman.
This fucking encoding inverts all letters so it can support right to left. 😓

Beautiful email templates part 2

We went to a restaurant with my family. I decided to check the restaurant's website:
koma-zalakaros.hu
This is a default WordPress website! A template!

Motherfucker, do you even review your own code, never mind getting anyone else to do it?

"Hi" randomly added on a new line in the middle of a switch block, a syntax error, as the only change in a file?

Breaking two methods by misunderstanding which database object a variable identifies- but making no other change to those functions? And not adding permissions checks to the new API methods you added in that file?

Overwriting the email template that goes out to users who were added straight to the CRM, by reusing the same file for a template for users that have been invited to an event?

Adding your new fields to the old CRM sync code, again leaving me to figure it out, thereby leaving users' changes likely to be overwritten every morning?

And pushing this to master, supposedly tested, without a heads-up?

How often does your mum need to buy you a new box of crayons? Because these ones are chewed to pieces.

Suck my balls. Or rather don't, you probably don't know you're not meant to use your teeth.

Rant C++
Why do some people like to use ALL the language features. lets use "auto" en "std::tuple" and "std::tie" to hook everything together.. I cannot put something In a list because I now have to use std::move. SURE! If for every line of code I need to lookup what things were again or fixing compile errors it breaks my flow. "std::bind" this and Template that. half of the stuff you don't actually need.. it just complicates things..

Not all are bad. Only Unnecessary sometimes.

So I'm soley a Java developer, and I got the task of making a server so I was like what a great time to learn C++ or something. With no prior knowledge of what c++ looks like I make a new project and open the damn template to be confused asf on where to start. I lookup some hello world tutorials and now I'm even more confused. Thanks C++

> be me
> watching FRIENDS
> lurking internet
> get a message from the manager, "we need to deliver WordPress + woocommerce + cost calculator theme to the client".
> "but I'm, not a WordPress developer"
> ??
> "okay, I'll just find a theme for it on ThemeForest"
> *sends theme as per description*
> *reverts back with HTML5 template* "see if we can use this"
> to be honest, that template was not even close as per requirement.
> *sends another themes back and forth*
> ???
tl;dr : she finalized the theme I intially sent after half of the day

shall i just kill my self slowly with fire?

after a vast number of emails, phone calls and cross-client tests with a customer, because „the light grey background of the new template magically disappeared“.... I had one final idea!

me: „could you please turn the contrast knob on your monitor?“

reaction of the customer: „OHHH.......“

🤦🏻‍♂️

Just thought of this meme template when I got that error. Hope you like it 😅

BTW it was a KeyError in a pandas DataFrame during which, somehow, another KeyError for the same key occurred. I'm not sophisticated enough in Python to explain this though.

When you created a fresh, modern PowerPoint template for your client and then he removes every single icon, image and shape and fills it with 20 lines of stupid boring text no one's gonna read.

TFW your email template throws a toga party without telling you.

*opens up a library file, reads first line*
{-# LANGUAGE TemplateHaskell #-}

Oh boy, this is gonna be intense...
I always dread having to go through Template Haskell code.

I get that every small victory counts when you’re learning to code, but someone in my class just posted a link asking for feedback on the “coding challenge” they had completed. The link led to a website made from an HTML/CSS/JS template where only the ‘company name’ and hero image had been changed from the original template, nothing else. What exactly are you looking for “feedback” on here??? What was the “coding challenge”?

Debugged my scss for 4 hours only to find out that I use id instead of class in my template

Holy crap, just ran npm install on the vueJS webpack template. node_modules is 272.7mb with 21785 items :/

Trying to find that one line of php you need to change in a magento project

App/design/frontend/base/default/template/this/is/not/gonna/be/the/template/youre/looking/for/fuckyou.phtml

It's been long time that I use the JavaScript blocker add-on by default, and I pretty much get accustomed to see and perceive the web as broken styling trash for most of the times.

And this broken state(on non-SPA websites) isn't even justified because CSS has never been as powerful as nowadays. So... WTF?

On my side, I never let the absence of JavaScript ruin the template/style of a webpage u_u

Dear ${dev_name}, you have a bug.

So all u great web developers who use laravel. Do u use theme/template and build web pages / admin panels or do u do smth else...what about front end websites

I started out building a personal React portfolio web app. Now I'm turning the project open source and as a free one page React template.

So I made a repo to have a template to initialize node projects.
I copied the folder to a new folder and found all commits where there but I wanted to start fresh.

Quick googling on how to just start fresh ... then I realized I might just delete the .git folder, see what happens.

Then BAM! All fresh,
git init
git add .
git commit -m "first! Template set"

Life is easy sometimes.

*Writes CloudFormation Template.*
*Launches Stack*

Starts Murmuring,

"The cycle repeated
As explosions broke in the sky
All that I needed
Was the one (JSON Invalid Format :| ) thing I couldn't find
And you (Teammates) were there at the turn
Waiting to let me know

We're building it up
To break it back down
We're building it up
To burn it down
We can't wait
To burn it to the ground

Me: "FML :| "

If a PM ever tells me to rip the website template of the internet from the client because we don't have credentials to the existing server I'M GOING TO KICK HIS ASS. Maintaing this PIECE OF SHIT IS A FUCKING PAIN.

The other guys did a really shitty job, would be better to redo-it from the ground up and save a lot of time :(((

I started asking to get draft templates in German language. So at least we'll know what the site will look like what when text is very long and customers are called "Sebastian Wiedenmann" instead of "John Doe".

Remember English is a very concise language and you always get bad CSS surprises when applying translations.

Fuck you, magento and yes, fuck you, customer as well.
After 2 days of fixing crucial things like missing discount functionalities, taxes being displayed as 'tax' because some monkey hardcoded the term in the template instead of getting the tax class name and overall fumbling in magento's core just to make this broken shit do its job, the customer emails me, asking if we're making 'progress at all because the test link looks pretty unfinished'
Burn in hell, you two!

So I make websites on the side for small time clients for some additional income. And without fail every time I sit down to work on this one site something goes wrong. First there were problems with the hosting, and now the template that the client chose is no longer for sale. I hope I'm not going to lose them over this :( I've sent them a list of alternative templates and contacted the company behind the original template to ask what is up. Real shame because they picked what I considered the favourite too and now I regret waiting to fork over the money to make the purchase.

IntelliJ, IntelliJ I love you but please tell me why making a jsp file from scratch doesn't work in the servlet but your template for a jsp does. It makes no fugging sense to me. StackOverflow doesn't know and I went there for help.

I was debugging that shit for 5 hours today over an issue that was fixed in 3 minutes. I need ice cream.

The moment when you realize, that the website of your best friend is a template...

So another infamous code (or smart code) you decide, there's class 'error' in the template/html and here this genius is removing it and adding it back? is this even logical at any level,

I mean just hide() and show() would do the job

Only one day to convert my website design to wordpress template. Have no idea how to make animated submenus. Have never worked with wordpress. Fuck everything!

i like how website UI is either really well made UI or 90s stock UI

and then theres template websites

Just downloaded a thesis template with a title "Improved algorithms for the cultivation of lettuce on the coastal plane"

To the guys that develop any form of hybrid applications, is there literally no js templating engine that accepts template files as its base? I could write probably a single file that just returns the template and then all the others request it before templating, but seriously, is there no ready to go solution?

A guy (who is ending the same master degree as me) just launched his personal website saying he is webdesigner but used a very common bootstrap template. The future is good for this one 😂

When you have a good example/template, but you don't know how to adapt it to your case.

Have you seen the new telegram "istant view"??
I like the update they are making, expecially this istant view... Telegram can became the app for everything!
What about making a template for devrant on telegram istant view?
In next weeks i will try to do it in free time!

Gotta love it when checking out tickets gives you the template screen 😁

tempalte T_T

I must assume that whoever designed jinja2 was either on crack, or hadn’t used template systems before. This thing is too fucking complicated, and doesn’t make sense. From their docs:

“Jinja2 supports dynamic inheritance and does not distinguish between parent and child template as long as no extends tag is visited. While this leads to the surprising behavior that everything before the first extends tag including whitespace is printed out instead of being ignored, it can be used for a neat trick.”

My response: “I don’t give a fuck!! I need this fucking website to be fucking done already! I pass data into a fucking template engine, and the engine applies my fucking markdown!! This is bullshit!! Why am I still trying to understand your fucking nonsense?!? AGGJCDJVFD&@!?&@$?)@&!SHHHVBSHK!!!!!!”
*desk flip*

Fuck you to hell you jinja fucker

Was passing values from back end into template .nothing appeared so I though I screwed up somewhere in the code ,turns out it was the css.

Where do I request a new word to English dictionary? Apparently, template is now tempalte according to my fingers >_>

when u see a bootstrap template use !important on multiple classes and id's u know someone kinda fucked up😅🙄

If you're expecting something revolutionary on a dev fest conference but instead you're given the fricking same template exercise.

What's your opinion on designed emails?

Do you have a themed template when writing to s.o. or do you use plaintext?

Or when an interesting newsletter offers both HTML and plaintext - which do you prefer?

A certain custom template engine made by some bored developer who had too much free time and thought he could create something better than other widely used template engines. He somehow convinced the lead dev of the company at that time to use his wonderful creation and it is still there after many years.

Spoilers: it is not better than the template engines he copied the features from, and it somehow fucks up certain parts of the css and javascript which makes it a real pain in the ass to work with.

I work at company that uses Drupal for everything. And i mean EVERYTHING. Our dumb CTO once even wanted us to join tender for flight data collection system... of course it would run on fucking drupal...

Yeah i can see its advantages but it has learning curve the shape of the snail shell and if you want it to do something new you either find module for it or drupal will start crying, shits itself and tell you to go fuck yourself.. also it is full of surprises to make your day as miserable as possible, like you send variable as $content['varname'] to user template and it returns as $user_profile['varname']['value']... and yes user template has $content array for content but why use it for storing content that i want to render.. it is used for other content to render... because in drupal content != content...

I started using laravel for my freelance projects and it took my less than 2 week to get up to speed and start working and is incredible fast to work in... You know.. its fun when you want to just add feature you just code that feature into your app.. and not spend 2 fucking years crawling through retarded preprocess functions...

Whenever i try to suggest we use other frameworks.. "Muh drupal has MODULES".. yeah because drupal is the only thing in universe that has modules.. When client has only need for simple site with simple template why use wordpress and have it done in 2 days when you can use drupal have 10 000 unnecessary DB queries that drupal does on every page load to load page title and make that site in a week.. or why use laravel for e-shop with specific functionality requested by client that would take 2 weeks to add in laravel when you can spend 2 months modifing uber-cart or drupal commerce modules only to hit some Drupal core surprise that wont allow for that feature to be implemented...

I'm a beginner Web developer and want to show people what I can do? but is it bad that I'm using a template for my site?

Late for the "coolest bug" party. But: I helped migrate an organization from proprietary software to FOSS and they found a bug. They were used to being "the only ones who ever encountered this problem" (along with a few hundred other customers). Now we sat down and had a look at the code. Found out that the Perl script didn't pass the value in question to the template. An easy fix but it was an eye opening moment for them of the benefits of the FOSS path.

Have you ever found a infinite task? Well, I did.

So, the software that I'm working now was under responsibility of another company for development and maintenance (I'll call them X) from 2014 to last month , and the company I work for was handling only with the business part. Now we took all the development for us as well.

This software has a lot of reports , so it has a lot of templates for this reports.

When X was handling the software, they asked the client and the old project manager if they wanted the templates to have the client's products dynamic (no need to change the template when adding a new product) or hardcoded for some products they already had, they choose hardcoded because it would be faster. Butterfly effect.

Fast forward to this week, the team leader designated a task for me, It looked easy at first, just fix 2 templates, easy.

Oh boy, I was so wrong.

I fixed the first template, discovering in the process the hardcoded things, had to add the product reference in a lot of places.

So i went to the second item, a super template that they use to put together some smaller templates.

It was really weird, I couldn't find all the templates that it was supposed to use, and I didn't really know the exact problem, the only thing I knew was that it was not being generated, the reason could be the super template itself or one of the 15 smaller templates, that could happen to have sub templates.

So I called the team leader and explained to him wtf was happening, he called the senior business analyst, that called the PM, we agreed that it would be infinite because of those fucking hardcoded things, they prepared a excel sheet with this and a lot of other problems and will send this to the client, explaining that we'll need a lot of time to put this new product up and running.

Now I'm in the middle of this shit storm seeing a time of darkness in the future.

Ps: This new product was supposed to be inserted in the software since last November, when it was under X responsability, and they analyzed it and said that it would take 190 hours to be completely done, the client refused. It was the first rain drop of what would become a shit storm.

When I run tests, I like to enable the debug logging. All the SQL queries and template tracing just flies by. Freaks the others out.

The next time I have the brilliant idea to make a visual studio multi solution template, will someone please slap me? What a fucking nightmare.

Any Symfony expert here? I've got quite a tricky question, that I'd love to disqus with another dev.

It's about twig within symfony. I'd like to add a custom node parser, but not for an own tag, but to set some value on each template if it's not set (which can't be done with globals in this case!). I've thought about using a visitor, but from my understanding it gets executed to late, as it requires (probably) to modify the twig AST at compile/parse time.

So one thing that kinda bugs me about php embedding is the white space formatting it creates when you break your project into templates or includes.

It has no affect on the front end at all but if you look at the source code, usually the top tag in a php template is spaced way off, unless you move your entire php code block all the way to the left. Then somehow it looks right on the frontend but now your php source code looks messy xD Could just be my code editor (ST3) but idk. Anybody else?

Is there ever any reason for SINGLE Hibernate SQL query/template to join like 10 different tables, do math, and come out to like 30 lines?

This is not a stored procedure, it's a single SELECT

Who else uses template strings by default?

If you search for c tags, the first post is c#, even with "c".

Happens on every stackoverflow search too.

This is the only reason I don't like c. If I need help with a simple problem, 50 lines of template code is not the answer ;(

!Rant - advice
Anyone know the best way to determine if slow reaction time on a website is down to my internet vs their shitty fucking wordpress template?

There's a Rant coming soon - but I need to make sure it really is their fault and not just crappy Internet because it's Sunday night and the whole town is watching Netflix

I was struggling to figure out why my Django template render wasn't working.was looking at code for hours.
Until I found that ,at the end of my render there was a comma making it a tuple.thats why it didn't damn work.

Currently fuming at the sight of a store bought WordPress template that has social links that go nowhere, gibberish under CTA's and broken links galore.

I have contacted the poor bastard that has this website made and the soon to be poor bastard that made it.

Take some pride in your work, it's honestly insulting to be in the same industry as people like this!

Dear Microsoft, I see what you were going for, and I love you for it; but for the love of god, please fucking fix the clusterfuck that is Nuget.

I use a private feed for client work, and I have the public source registered too, so why would installing a new .core template from Nuget fail just because it tried the private feed first and shit itself?

It really shouldn’t be this hard.

Sincerely,
Brolls

Hired me as senior front end developer. Assign me task like developing email templates.. so I bought few template with my own salaries!!