So, someone submitted a 'bug' to Mozilla.

As some of you may know, in the next year, the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands is going into effect.

Another fun fact is that the dutch security agencies/government have their own CA (Certificate Authority) for SSL/TLS certificates.

The new law says that the AIVD (dutch NSA/GCHQ equivilant) is allowed to hack into systems through obtained certificates and also that they're allowed to INTERCEPT TRAFFIC THROUGH OBTAINED PRIVATE SSL/TLS KEYS.

So someone actually had the fucking balls to submit a fucking issue to Mozilla saying that the Dutch State certs shouldn't be accepted anymore when the new mass surveillance law gets into place.

This person deservers a fucking medal if you ask me.

Visited my parents again today!

Arrived home.

Suddenly my sister starts to talk about the new dutch mass surveillance law and how it's all bad and the possible consequences.

😶😐😮

Normally I'm the one who says that and is told to shut up after a while.

I'm a proud brother!

Project manager logic.

BAM! It's official. The Dutch people have voted against the new surveillance law!

It's about 49 percent against vs 46 percent in favor and the other part voted blank.

I'm happy as fuck!

Fucking awesome. The 'encryption backdoor law' in Australia went through!

Now, whenever served with such warrants, companies which are active in Australia will have to pay hefty fines if they don't give encrypted messages to law enforcement in readable form. No matter whether this means just decrypting it with the keys they have or pushing backdoors/inject code into the messaging apps/services in order to extract the contents.

Now let's see how much the big companies really care about their users! (I'd expect them to pull out of Australia but the chance that this'll happen is as tiny as about nothing)

Uncle: "It must be noisy, programming. I've seen a datacenter on TV, and those computers are loud" — "It is noisy, but that's more my coworkers fault"

Sales guy at the office: "So you see patterns in the code, you can read this cryptic mess?" — "Uh this is PHP, Its not the syntax that makes it hard to read, it's the dimwit who wrote it"

Father-in-law: "Could you reprogram my laptop, I got a virus trying to download por... nature documentaries" — "I'm not that kind of doctor"

Mother-in-law: "How will you sustain a family, you just play video games all day" — "I make your monthly teachers salary in four days"

Girlfriend: "I learned some Lua today because I needed a world of warcraft extension for..." — "I love you too"

Learnt Murphy's law the hard way,

Don't use your office laptop to create a personal auto porn downloading project specially when your boss suddenly wants to use your laptop to do a product demo to client.

Now looking for a new job, let me know if anyone need a smart developer who loves solving problems like the one mentioned above.

Another attempt at trying to get support for weakening encryption recently.

An FBI spokesperson said something like 'we can put people on the moon, why can't we just create law enforcement-accessible encryption? i just don't buy it."

Fuck off and die.

Just watched a video where someone (in relation to the new mass surveillance law in the netherlands) asked people on the street if they had something to hide.

Everyone said no.

"Could you get your phone and show me around?"

Everyone said yes.

"May I take a look at your messages/pictures/browsing history?"

Suddenly 80 percent said no.

"But you said you had nothing to hide!"

"I'm going to take that back."

The United Nations should make a law or pass a resolution to ensure better coding standards. :)

Lawyer: "I heard you do websi..."

Me: "No."

Never, ever again will I do a website for anyone in the law profession. You can write the most airtight and amazing contract ever devised and they will find a way over, under, around, and through it to SCREW YOU UP THE ASS.

So I named my daughter "io"

everyone calls her by the name and then we register her on our local gov't to get birth certificate.

AND THEN THESE FUCKED FACED FUCKERS! dont accept my daughter's name because of this STUPID SYSTEM OF THEIRS!

because "io" is too short for first name field to accept. Its like the devs become the law and just set their own limit.

It pisses me off. our law didn't say `len(firstName) > 2` and we can't use paper anymore as alternative.

I really want to punch the fucker in neck. sorry

Me trying to find a good risotto recipe.
Sister-in-law, PhD: What about pumpkin or courgette and salmon?
Me: ...
SIL: ...
Me: Could you add some parentheses?
SIL: (Pumpkin) or (courgette and salmon)?
Me: Much clearer, thanks! Go for courgette and salmon.

Mother of god, as if the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands wasn't bad enough, one of the politicians who likes the new law has come up with an even more redicilous idea.

an 'Internet Authority. To put it short, an authority which surveils the internet in real time and sees where all social media shit is coming from/going.

Meaning that it wouldn't just be 'targeted mass surveillance' sometimes but fulltime online monitoring.

This guy has lost his fucking mind.

Anyone else find those cookie notices on websites more annoying than the fucking cookies themselves?
//They suck even more on mobile

First Law of code

Moore's law of documentation 😂

For the Dutch people on here, the new surveillance law in short:

- dragnet surveillance, data retention of normal data is a maximum of 3 years, encrypted data up to 6 years.

- secret DNA database, data retention up to 30(!!) years.

- use of 0days without having to report them to the vendors.

- third parties may be hacked to get to main targets; if my neighbor is suspected they may legally hack me in order to get to him/her.
Cleaning up (removing backdoors etc) afterwards is not required.

- sharing unfiltered (raw) data gathered through dragnet surveillance with foreign intelligence agencies is permitted, even if it's to a country which doesn't have as much 'democracy' as this country does.

Decide for yourself if you're voting (at all) against or in favor of this law, I'm voting against :)

We do need a new/reformed law, this one is just too intrusive imo.

The Dutch referendum about the new mass surveillance law is a go, fuck yeah!

Also, due to a some stuff, a delay is postponing the start of the mass surveillance to May next year.

A little more time to setup secure stuffs :3

My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!

She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.

Best sister in law!

Atwood's Law: any application that can be written in JavaScript, will eventually be written in JavaScript.

Fuck yeah.

Last year our government voted out new mass surveillance law through like it was nothing AND with a huge amount of votes in favor and hardly any against. (remember that the government is *supposed* to represent the people of the country)

A few students made a referendum happen, 48 percent of our people came to vote for this.

The first exit poll results are about 50/50!

I'm happy as fuck, damn!

Sorry for this slightly political posts and if this entirely violates all terms, I'll remove it. I thought this fits, though, because of what this new law.

First law of javascript
Always open your browser console while developing
Second law
Never trust any javascript frameworks

What the flying fuck is happening on the EU with the fucking GDPR corsairs!!

I made two - TWO - entirely static websites, hand-made, 100% cookie-free!! I didn't even need to store a goddam boolean cookie! No third-party content is EVER invoked, called or summoned! I hosted a small video to avoid Youtube! Facebook and twitter share buttons are links!! I DID ALL OF THIS ON PURPOSE AND INFORMED THE FUCKING CLIENT.

And THEN (and, of course, unsolicited), the fucking lawyers of an asshole GDPR corsair office came and scared the shit out of my clients and convinced BOTH of them to put the goddam GDPR cookie consent popup on the fucking websites!! And they took their bribe, of course...

In order to avoid billionaire fines because of the NON EXISTENT cookies of the SMALLEST, SIMPLEST, 2KB MINIFIED HTML page on the Internet.

Anybody else is suffering from this kind of behavior??

The director of then dutch intelligence agency AIVD (nsa/gchq equivalent) said, because the new mass surveillance law is getting loads of heat/criticism, that before the Dutch citizens should worry about the new surveillance law, they should look into which online companies they trust with their online data and why they trust those companies.

Nice try, sir. You're (probably deliberately) missing the entire point.

To all dutch people on here, the new surveillance law I ranted about a month or something ago has passed if my source is correct.

Passed as in, the government has voted in favor.

Time to start encrypting/vpn'ing/torring and securing your computers!

Feel free to use this rant's comment section as Q/A and tips section for this subject as well :)

Law of software quality..

brother in law spills Sprite allover his laptop and it dies, guess who he calls.

Newton's fourth law:

For every bug fix, there is an equal and opposite bug creation.

lol....To all our IT guys (and girls) out there ☺

I am the LAW bro:)

New French Law Makes It Illegal To Email Employees After Work Hours

This is how you combat the EU law.
You are welcome 😉

I was called as an IT technician at law firm to install a program in a lawyer's pc. Found a porn video saved in bookmarks...why? 🙄

Clients: have two-ish years to request their GDPR changes.

Me: receives 20 emails about GDPR changes that need to be made today. All marked as “URGENT”

Also me: lol that fucking sucks for you but I’m busy today

Client: WE NEED TO MAKE THESE CHANGES AS ITS NOW A LAW

me: that’s cool, still busy today

Dark theme everywhere should be mandatory by law. Period!

This law never fails!😂

Dad thinks i sleep all day and always tells me to get a job.
Mom doesn't know nothing about what i do
Wife thinks I'm talking to other women and have a fucking magic money tree when bills need to be paid.
Wife's grandparents think I'm a lazy piece of shit but ask me to fix their fucking tvs.
Mother-in-law: knows i make money working on the computer but not how.

EU have finally passed the law that requires all phones to have user-changeable batteries by 2027.

Fuck today.

Today I was supposed to go into work and set up a dozen or so units for beta testing (its been a year and a half coming)..

Got up nice and early to get a head start on things. Stubbed (and broke) my motherfucking toe, then spilled my cereal milk on my laptop.. subsequently spend the following 2 hours tearing down and cleaning my poor little lappy. Get her all put back together, starting to feel a little better about the day. Push the power button, and fucking nothing but a tiny little fan noise for half a damn second.

With this luck I don't even want to move, lest a magic falling anvil decides to adorn my head..

So yeah, I got fed up with assholes offering unpaid internships while demanding the work of a paid employee and I went around reporting all of them for violating the law.

Hope it does something. I hate these people taking advantage of vulnerable post secondary students for their crappy, worthless startups.

Functional Programming. Because Moores Law has moved from making processors faster to multiplying cores, and we may eventually have to code on machines that have 1024 cores or more. Mutable state will cause all kinds of hell in those scenarios. We already have problems with it when we have like 2-3 different threads.

My mom said her patient's son—or son in law I can't remember—is a software engineer...

Time to recruit someone into devRant! :D

Universal law of side projects:

The motivation to invest more time in side projects is inversely proportional to the free time you have!

When you have a deadline, you want to work on 10 new things, as soon as you are completely you just want to a lazy sloth!

Literally translates to : } Do not change requirments at 9pm on Friday that PO aint your father-in-law 😒..
😛😂

"There’s a subtle reason that programmers always want to throw away the code and start over. The reason is that they think the old code is a mess. […] The reason that they think the old code is a mess is because of a cardinal, fundamental law of programming: It’s harder to read code than to write it." - Joel Spolsky

Age 19, got a government sponsored chance to go to India to study. Was called to study for Law. But didn't like it. Decided I wanted to change to Computer Science cause that's what I was interested in. Go to India and apply for computer science course but not law despite Parents wanting me to do law because hey Lawyers job is a good status in society.

Got a spot in BCA (Bachelor of Computer Application) . Totally new in programming. Started with C. Was freaked out with all the new things. Variables, comments, Pre processors files. All was new to me. Although the lecture tried her best, I couldn't understand her well because of language barrier. It was a mixture of Hindi and English.

Luckily she gave me a book to read, Let us C. That book helped me a ton. I realized I really liked programming. When summer holiday came I taught myself C++ . Then next summer Java. Then Android. Then some Web Development. That was last summer. But I kinda settled in Android and did some projects in it. Right now I am about to sit for my final exam. Then I will try my best to get an Internship or a job.

It's the law

!dev related whatsoever fuck off if this bothers you

Just got into a big argument with my brother in law because the little bitch was exposing my father and mother in law(which I adore) to the virus by virtue of this little shit partying every other fucking day, going out with people etc and then having my in laws pick him up etc.

I am not gonna lie, I love the kid, but this shit pisses me the fuck off, my in laws are over 60 each and I ain't about to fuck with the chances of my child's grandparents dying because some fucktard thinks partying is more important.

Been wishing for the motherfucker that would since a while now, just hope it's not this kid.

its the law...

I'm in my second call from hell today. Passed off first to a teammate to run a meeting. First one started 10 hours ago, this started 5 hours ago. Neither are related. Neither show signs of resolving.

Other teammate is on the same call that started 2 days ago.

Who the hell pissed Murphy off?

I feel Interns are exploited real bad!
There should be a law to protect and regulate their working hours and payments.

#SaveTheInterns

With the new Dutch mass surveillance law comming soon, I am interested to know what you are doing with it?

Nothing?
VPN?
Something else?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't live in the Netherlands?

I bought flowers for my date. Online.
When I registered, the website send me via email my 30 character long password.

😥

So I try "forgot password". The genius website sent me, guess what, my 30 character long password...

For fuck sakes!!!! You had one job.... Hash the fucking password!!!!

I'm afraid these people will probably get hacked soon (murphy law).

Sha256.. Guys please...

Trick to get answer on the internet...

Arch users are literally like vegans, or guys who study the law - they can’t live normally if they don’t tell you that they use it. Just because you can install it, doesn’t make you instantly a Linux god. It’s like Kali users that they think that they’re hackers if they install it, or MacBook users that think that they are “kool kids” because they have a laptop that thousands of other people have.

Nobody. Cares.

So I bought myself some computer glasses after feeling uncomfortable looking at a screen with "bare" eyes (I don't wear corrective glasses).

But the other day, I lost them.

I looked for them everywhere, under each grain of dust I could find. They were nowhere to be found.

Reluctantly, I bought new ones. They arrived today, I unpack them, test them, and then do some flat cleaning. I lift some envelope and...

My first pair was sitting there, innocently.

Fuck me.

I bought Minecraft back in 2007 or 8. It was $20 and gave me access to Minecraft forever, all updates included.

Today Microsoft closed all the old mojang accounts and I no longer have access to Minecraft. I could have migrated to a Microsoft account, but it will be a cold day in hell if I ever open one of those.

Sounds like law suit material. Class action anyone?

Unwritten devRant law #1:

if ($day === 'Friday') {
// add important words
$rant .= 'deploy';
$rant .= 'not';
}

print $rant;

First law of software quality

Things will always take longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law (which is that things will always take longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law).

Ten Immutable Laws Of Security

Law #1: If a bad guy can persuade you to run his program on your computer, it's not solely your computer anymore.
Law #2: If a bad guy can alter the operating system on your computer, it's not your computer anymore.
Law #3: If a bad guy has unrestricted physical access to your computer, it's not your computer anymore.
Law #4: If you allow a bad guy to run active content in your website, it's not your website any more.
Law #5: Weak passwords trump strong security.
Law #6: A computer is only as secure as the administrator is trustworthy.
Law #7: Encrypted data is only as secure as its decryption key.
Law #8: An out-of-date antimalware scanner is only marginally better than no scanner at all.
Law #9: Absolute anonymity isn't practically achievable, online or offline.
Law #10: Technology is not a panacea.

My Father is an old bank accountant. So he knows that, behind their mainframe screens there are ugly code stuff and I deal with them.

When I try to talk about my job, Mother's eyes grow in awe. She thinks of me as a sci-fi character.

As my career goes very well, my wife thinks I'm so skillful that I must be like the architect guy at Matrix.

Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law: A mix of my wife and mother.

They are all proud and happy, so am i.

From 8 cores to 12; from 16Gb to 32; from SATA to NVMe; from 60Hz to 144

I love Moore's Law

Fonz's law - bugs are easier to reproduce the day after a release than in the weeks before.

Einstein's law for programmers

errors = (more code)^2
e = mc^2

So processors have Moores Law, I'm starting to think Web Development has one too.

"There shalt always be a new, better, framework, that would have saved weeks of time, but only after you've hit the point of no return in a project"

Anyone else know the feeling of "damn...I may as well just rewrite everything...."

Building a web based recipe book for my mother in law.
My brother in law, sorced the hw (touch screen aio)
I build the website build in php symfony3.
Running on a rpi in the garage.
She loves it and keeps telling everyone about it every chance she gets.
Currently re writing it in Django (for fun)

Well, goodbye my free time, it was a pleasure to meet you sometimes. We'll probably never see each other from now on.
Our government just voted on a law that extends overtime legally like crazy.

whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

Who invented the open space office layout? If you're as unlucky as me, you end up sitting next to the protein junkie who pops open a tin of tuna mixed with some other shit that's there just because it smells horrible almost hourly, or you end up next to the PM whose desk is gossip central and by the end of the day you know "Sheila" is sleeping with her brother in law, and "Steve" has a tiny weiner.

Today, my dad can finally ditch his iPhone 4 which is passed down from my eldest sis to my mom and to my dad, all thanks to my brother-in-law getting a Samsung Galaxy J7 on Black Friday.

Finally. No more Apple bullshit in my house!! NO FUCKING MORE!!! *insert hysterical laughter* GOODBYE STUPID 20-PIN CHARGER CABLE~ GOODBYE ITUNES~ GOODBYE ICLOUD~ FUCK YOU!!!

This cookie law is getting out of hand.

curl 127.0.0.1/robots.txt
User-agent: *
Disallow: Injuring a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
Disallow: Disobeying the orders given by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
Disallow: Not protecting own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

Ticket from legal department: implement GDPR recommendation, log customer consent, separate checkboxes to opt-in to T&C and newsletter

Ticket from marketing department: small print T&C on sign-up, remove "conversion killer" checkbox

This is why we need a product owner

I think I have to leave the EU.
This is the straw to break the camel's back finally.

I am very disappointed, EU parliament.

Maybe Swiss, or Norway... or the moon, hmm...

Zoom’s CEO says he won’t encrypt free calls so Zoom can work more with law enforcement:

“Free users for sure we don’t want to give that because we also want to work together with FBI, with local law enforcement in case some people use Zoom for a bad purpose,” Yuan said.

Oh fuck, Germany wants to pull an Australia and force services-providers to disclose passwords, password-hashes,... to law enforcement.

So... Intense pillowtalk with the wife the other night regarding the coming enforcement of the new General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) law in the EU after a while turns into nerdy dirty talk.

Me: *Whisper in a sleazy voice like the dirty malware that I am*: So... Why don't you just open up all your inbound firewall ports for me...
Her: Hell no... But I might just make an exception in the private domain just for you...

So I got a ring doorbell for my father in law. Of course I'm setting it up for them and their WiFi is not working, they lost the router password etc..

So Im in the middle of ... reset the router added new password new ssid new wep-key etc..

Mom in law is over my shoulder "wow you are really good at this technology stuff. You should get a job with a company".

I kid you not I have been married to her daughter for 21 years WTF 🤬

So I'm like I do work for a company. My company and I get paid much more than anyone else would pay me. That how I could take your daughter and our kids to Hawaii for vacation.😠

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: 

“There is always one more bug.”

ATWOOD's Law

My mum just had to call me to change our home WiFi password, because she can't change it on her laptop.

She's pretty bad with technology, but she had to call me to do it, because no one else knew how to. Including my brother-in-law who designs IT systems for major banks and system admins working for the government.

She had to call me, from Hungary to do it. I live in Scotland.

Got home and my wife, brother in-law and sister in-law were all playing Pokémon Go :)

I'm an idiot. I fully acknowledge it. I paid a deposit online for someone to do website work for a client and that person has now completely disappeared. At least I have what I think is his address. Time to call law enforcement on his ass.

Murphy's law is completely true.

Deployed my own software the very first time on a customer system on monday.

Today I'm at a job college class when my boss calls me: "...Hey yeah (unrelated) (yadda yadda) the software does not function for anyone").

I fucking knew it.
We don't have a proper project planning nor a real project manager/lead, we don't do QA, and now it's gone to shit.

I did my own testing extensively on monday & Tuesday, everything looked alright and worked like a charm.

I'm looking forward to the weekend already...

I wish the Congress would run all legislation by a team of programmers. Regardless of political leanings one thing is indisputable: We are very keen when it comes to finding bugs in a piece of code -- especially if we didn't write said code!
After all: What is the law if not code for people instead of processors?

me: Have you heard of Murphy's law?
them: Yeah.
me: What is it?
them: If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.
me: Right, have you heard of Cole's law?
them: No, what is it?

Now the new EU copyright directive is getting closer, Google does A/B testing to comply with article 11.

Newton's 4th law :
Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.

I.T technicians law: regardless of the increases in processing power over the years spent working in your career, you will still spend most of your life watching a progress bar.

"It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law." - Hofstadter’s Law

"Minor edit"?
Why do clients always have to try and quantify the amount of effort a task is going to take while having no clue as the actual work it is going to take?
MINOR EDIT!
I bet to them changing a fundamental law of the universe would be a "minor edit"

sometimes I wonder if "Murphy's Law" was coined by a developer

The new EU copyright reform (article 13, etc.) is getting comical.
After even the big copyright holders retracted their support for the law, it seemed to have no chance and was "put on ice".
After short while it was warmed up again by negotiating some trade offs (which are apparently hated by everyone) and it may or may not be passed in the next few weeks.
So far so idiotic.
It seem that even the initiator - Axel Voss - will not vote for the law. Unfortunately for wrong reasons. Why? It is not strict enough for him.

Anyhow, the longer text he used to present his view he he seems to - copy - his argumentation from Bertelsman (German media group).

It could be funny, if all of that wasn't so sad as there is still the possibility that this stupid law passes.

GDPR is about to happen.
Has anyone read the provisions?
It's like they put some flat earther anti-vaxers in a room and made them scribble up a law.

For those who don't know - it's a new, EU-wide "data privacy" law that's about to take effect on May 25th.

The gist of it is that if you fuck up even a little bit, you get to personally pay a fine of up to 10 Million Euros (for companies there's a separate clause, this is for employees only), or/and 2-3 years in jail if that fuck-up has caused material damages.
That little fuck-up can be as simple as losing a tiny amount of data between back-ups, or entrusting a third party with full access to some data (which is not prohibited) without controlling 100% what he can do with that data (which IS prohibited).

I shit you not, these are the explicit articles of that law.

If it is enforced in this way, it is the swift death of European economy. Just because some retards didn't read the privacy policy before agreeing to it, and then made a shit storm, everyone has to suffer.

If the Kenya ICT bill will be passed into law, it will soon be illegal to write any code as a developer or engineer or practice any ICT career without a license ($460 per year) or without a college degree 😢

Get spammed by some loser on substack and learn how to break the law in 50+ countries! yay!!!!

god

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

i swear i'm going to start a new SaaS equivalent to send your enemies glitter but its called send your substack enemies glitter and it just spams them forever with fake emails

"Using MD5" !? What year are we in again?

NOTICE OF DATA BREACH

Dear Yahoo User,
We are writing to inform you about a data security issue that may involve your Yahoo account information. We have taken steps to secure your account and are working closely with law enforcement.
...
What Information Was Involved?

The stolen user account information may have included names, email addresses, telephone numbers, dates of birth, hashed passwords (using MD5)

Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.

First Law of Software quality

e = mc^2

where e = error

mc = ?

Honestly... I'm my own biggest influence. I had a career shift from law enforcement to developer. I hated my job, my life, where I was at and where I was going. I never want to be in that position again so I got myself to a point where I have more freedom and opportunities.

"The time it takes to make a decision increases as the number of alternatives increases. " - Hick’s Law

In my country (too embarrassing to mention), pirated software is so common and it is not considered immoral. It is widespread and secretly & socially accepted. The law cannot be enforced when everyone is an offender. There's no profit of being an angel in the land of the devils. I, myself too, am guilty of this.

The EU is planning to put a law in place that prevents unlimited scrolling of media content.
I don't know how they're going to do this.
I don't know whether I support this.
I don't know who recommended this.
But it was favoured by the majority when it went to vote.

Just finished up some math homework

One of the problems involved finding the side lengths of a triangle

Spend a good 20 minutes fucking around with the law of sines and the law of cosines before I realized it was a right triangle, and so I could use the Pythagorean theorem

I'm an idiot

In less than 24 hours, I will be giving my last exam and getting a degree in Information Systems Engineering

The exam should be easy, but I am so afraid that I am having a hard time to study (And I also find the topics reaaaally boring, such as ethics, and law)

Send good vibes so I can finally (After almost 10 years) finish my studies and be an engineer

If you ever thought hell didn't exist...
I just spent the day explaining cryptocurrencies to a room of social sciences and law students.
I really need to get drunk, but it's only Thursday 😫

Me : Alexa, will you marry me ?
Alexa : I think that will somehow violate the law of robotics.

Murphy's law:
When you try to unplug a USB from a FULL USB HUB with twisted (and same color wires)
You always will unplug the wrong usb at fist shot.

I think that this can be applied also to phone chargers,RJ45,RJ11,etc.....

Last week I received an invitation to lead the development of a e-commerce redesign, replatforming and data migration. I was excited to work on it, and started the analysis and planning, glad to spend time focusing on quality. But Murphy's law is never asleep - this Monday, I was asked to speed things up and reduce a 4 month project to 1 week.

The Qt ide lost me three files aka 1 week of work... Obviously it overwrote them with zeros so I cant recover them... Backups??? Well i didnt think of murphys law....

I wanted a personal website when I was 15. My brother-in-law sat me down, showed me Dreamweaver and told me "Learn this stuff. It will be valuable when you're older." I dragged and dropped and then looked at the resulting code. Then came sites for friends. Finally, college. I still learn new stuff all the time with each project. I couldn't be happier!

To y'all complaining about services informing about updated policies..
That's like complaining about murder being illegal. It's a damn law. Of course this specific one is bullshit.
Read the fucken GDPR and stfu if you are from the EU.😊

LOL, somebody thought Zoom was secure! Hahahahaha! Some people were caught planning violence and a potential coup...on...Zoom!

The lack of understanding of technology creates interesting convergences of events.

So, if you are planning to break the law, don't use Zoom. Mmmkay?

Distractions are neither created nor destroyed, it just changes from one app to another ;-)
The Law of Conservation of Distractions

goodhart's law, the cobra effect/campbell's law, murphy's law, atwood's law, benfords law

what am i missing

Do you all remember the dark ages of DVDs when honest customers made a worse deal than pirates because legitimate media was packed with unskippable advertising and PSAs about piracy?

Well, looks like video game publishers are on their best way to recreate that mistake. Why do games nowadays need to be forcefed with storage-consuming, unappealing and technically nonessential launchers that all look and do the same? And why for God's sake do very old and offline-only games need to go through this sodomizing procedure?

prime example: GTA 3 was released back in 2001 and capable of running on Windows 98SE/2000/XP. There's a Steam-only release out there that requires you to install community-made patches if you want the game to run smoothly on modern hardware. Steam itself as a requirement for this atrocity to even launch the executable dropped support for XP more than two years ago. If you'd wanted to play this game on original hardware, you would rely on a real DVD that was made back then, but there are even better options if you know what I mean.

When a multimillion-dollar industry relies on communities of volunteering enthusiasts to make its products work, it won't receive a trace of my empathy when customers and non-customers alike try to download their games from more reliable and honest sources.

You can't Call yourself a Developer without drinking Coffe.

A law made by nature...

Since it's a law to cover your face on all public transportation, with a modest fine if you fail to comply, suddenly everybody found their masks. (It was highly adviced before.)

Is there a Developers' Manifesto? Like Agile Manifesto?

If not let's start one here, I'll start:

-We should not be working outside work hours except for exceptional cases, hours != 24/7 && exceptional != 7 days a week
-Death to last minute changes!
-Everyone needs to understand Murphy's Law, it's real!

Murphy is alive and well - and working on your project.

Made parsers that are downloading and parsing 100 years of law data right now.

I am so happy I don’t have to read every document and just let computer do it for me.

That are great times we live in.

Is it just me or does everyone face a murphy's law situation when it comes to coding drones??

"Oh, netbook is on low energy. Naaah, it should be enough for an hour."
- me, hours ago

One hour delay for the flight.

Suicide in front of the train.

Now I stand over two hours in the train and we cannot leave the train. All I want is finish my grot damn prototype...

Oh no they banned a law that has existed for 2 years whatever shall we do

Those EU cookie law notices COVERING UP the website so I have to click them and I'm not even in the EU so it doesn't apply here!

My company started to do very unethical things (or maybe even break the law – I'm no expert) in order to cover up some business people fuckups. I'm seriously considering quitting immediately even though I hoped to stay here for some time as I like the people I work with. It's those unimaginative bastards at the top that make it unbearable.

So a package came at my door today and it looked like it had stickers in it. I thought they were my devRant stickers and became so overjoyed I happily signed the package and quickly went back in without reading the sender's name.

And then I opened it up and it had a phone's battery.

My sis-in-law sent her phone's battery and asked me to buy and send her a replacement.

Feels fucking bad, man...

sister in law: *gets new laptop*
*produces antivirus*
“I’m not putting that on, I don’t need it”

me: *visible confusion*

People who use special characters in filenames, or characters that don't match /[a-zA-Z0-9]-_./ Should by law be executed by hanging and public humiliation.

Are you planning on entering politics?

Because your documentation is dishonest, doesn't mention side effects and is not meant to be read humans workout a law degree.
Your code on the other hand makes me question whether you try to troll us or whether you are actually unable to understand what you were supposed to do.

Hello, World!
We live in troubled times.

Can’t wait for the next year to be attacked by pop-ups asking me if I agree with the site using cookies. Now more than ever, because everybody cares about cookies, and it’s totally not going to ruin the user experience.

I can’t wait for another law that will force sites to ask users if they agree with usage of JavaScript.

My former employer refuses to pay out my vacation time per state law. Left a month ago but they have not disabled my company email account.

Small shop so no active directory but still shocked they have not disabled my access. It’s only outlook/ office 365 no access to network drives.

What kind of small, petty and (mostly) legal havoc can I cause?

Something annoying but causes no monetary damage.

Omg guys !.Did u read the news ? There is article 13 . Europe goverment has agreed to put new law named article 13.It means we cant upload photos if they r not original ! Omg. What are we going to do about this article 13 ? Do we start a war ?.Hm?

Welp, there goes internet freedom.

I'm all for deregulation, but not for ISPs. Not when there is no competition. Not when a lack of competition is enforced by local, state, and federal law.

Deregulation of a government-enforced monopoly is just gross cronyist malfeasance.

In these dark times, it's inspiring to see that a country as insignificant as Australia can demonstrate to us how things can always get worse.

By passing a law mandating that encryption must be broken, in secret (like the US's National Security Letters), at the demand of the Government, the two biggest parties have colluded to destroy Australia's tech sector.

This is the same government that has been whining endlessly about using Huawei LTE equipment in Australian infrastructure "because it might be secretly compromised". Now the same is true of Australian equipment, by law.

My favourite part of all this is how there will be firmware updates for devices sold in Australia, in order to comply with the new law. How well do you think those backdoors will be secured? How thoroughly do you expect them to be tested, given Australia's population of only 25 million?

How can any Australian company expect customers to trust them now?

I just migrated Test data into Production. If I start a new project, Murphy's law indicates that my phone will ring, and the migration will have been a total loss.

If I sit and do nothing, Murphy's corollary tells me the data migration will be a success?

As a lawmaker, I would grant the right to root.

Smartphone and computer manufacturers must not take measures to block users from rooting their devices.

Getting ready to start working a little something something on the side. Client (read as uncle-in-law) wants it in Wordpress because he
1) has heard of it
2) can buy themes. I told him I can make it look any way he wants and use something else, something that I'm actually familiar with. He wants Wordpress. At least it looks like writing my own plugins to do stuff will be really easy.

GOD why am I CONTINUALLY RESUBSCRIBED to garbo random newsletters!

we need to start a new internet altogether

and I know what's happening, these idiotic "tech influencers" pay some shady service to "bOosT YoUr FoLloWiNg bY 100X!!!" and they're blatantly just breaking the law, breaking GDPR, etc. etc., its bots all the way down, cant wait for clowns with 2 braincells to use a chatGPT integration with the web, content will just get SO much better fuck

Hey guys so we need to start taking accessibility seriously, it’s the law - right now we currently do nothing.

So let’s start with something super simple. Alt text has to be provided for an image...

“This is all bollocks let’s be honest”

😳🤦🏻‍♂️

Um...so I don’t make the rules, the W3C define the standards for the web. Disabled users matter...

Every time we have finished a project and deployed it the first time at least half of the components are outdated already 😒 Even if we worked only 2 weeks on something.

I hate Murphy's law!

Diekfak's law states that a scooter will always be parked in the most obstructing and lazy spot within 4 meters of where it is parked.

That feeling when everyone on devrant is shitting EU for Internet censorship while I'm here worrying about my country's future when they implemented Syaria Law. Very torn about it to be honest.

"I walked into this room full of law enforcement officers and said "' Do you guys recognize any of these names ?"' I read of a list of the names, one federal officers explained "' Those are the judges in the U.S. District Court in Seattle."' And I said "' Well, I have a passed file with 26 passwords cracked ."' Those federal officers about turned green."
Don Boelling, Boeing Aircraft

Fuck the EU.

Their privacy laws fucking suck and don't even get me started on their braindead cookie law.

I think we should be able to make laws for them and not just them making laws for us.

First order of business is that by law all EU bureaucrats must have "I'm a fucking moron, punch me in the face to accept." tattooed to their foreheads in large bold letters with the rest of their face in intricate detail tattooed explaining what a fucking moron is so to educate their subjects.

When your week has been so stressful... you just want to curl up in the corner and cry.

Murphy's law is taking me for a ride of a lifetime right now, and just when you start seeing light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a lightbulb and another dead end.

F£~*{*}£{*\€|>\€\£~£¥\\*£,'%]#]}[#>\£|¥|+>]£\€£|€|!{¥]*$;&,!:@&;&939/);$$CK!!!!

Glad I could get that off my chest 😆

I guess I could say driving.

I like to drive as solid, focused and on the law as possible.

So the EU plans to make an "upload-filter"-law.
Actually this means that every service, every provider literally everyone has to check everything which is going to be uploaded on a webpage if there is an copyright violation and so on.

Thanks to my european government for slowing down the digital evolution in a absolutely shit way.

So I'm no labor law expert or anything, but this just seems off. Anyone know the legality of this?

"Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow"-Linus's Law...

I once spent a full month browsing the internet and doing fuck all. When they eventually noticed and laid down the law threatening me. I resigned. I’d already started working my self employment, just needed to cover another months salary. I fucking won that one. No cunt gets the better of me!

Work expands so as to fill the available time. That's Parkinson's Law.

Or in other words: The amount of time that one has to perform a task is the amount of time it will take to complete the task

So, if you have a deadline, wait until the correct time and then start working. This helps a lot in terms of not over-doing things and will save precious man-hours.

After a wildly productive day yesterday, I've spent most of today staring at my screen, going down mental rabbit holes. Sod's law!

It's not helped by an accidental all-nighter last night - I'm too old for that shit these days

Suppose I make an app. Suppose it becomes popular worldwide. How can I protect its name, logo, etc worldwide? Is there some international registry or smth...? For instance is there any law restricting me from creating my own app, calling it Facebook, drawing a white lowercase F in blue rectangle as its logo and releasing it to the public?

"Creativity is a habit. It’s not something that happens in the shower. " - Nick Law

Newton's First Law: an employee will remain in uniform working motion until they open Youtube.

In this social network I have previously complained about the lack of opportunities for people who are over 40 years old, but this time I come to tell you that tomorrow I start working in a Colombian startup: with an excellent remuneration, everything necessary by law and I am happy.

I swear I will give it ALL my best.

Some people must be forbidden by law from drawing wire frames!!!

I received wire frames, with white background and everything else is #C2C2C2 -_-

my father-in-law is asking same question from last 4 years... what do you do exactly?
my friend is expecting me to hack his GF's Gmail id from last 8 years..
And i couldn't explain to my any relative in last 16 years that software engineer don't just assemble PC.

Got a Dec duck for Christmas from my brother in law.
Funniest part was explaining to the rest of the family why I got a rubber duck...

My first task as a developer was to make a 20-year-old migrated-to-winforms application with over 1500 forms dpi compatible because apparently someone used it at 125% (acceptable by some law) and it was simply unusable and looked horrendous😩

People, finally back with a rant😌

You definitely have heard about the new privacy policies in the EU. What do you guys think about this BS?

Who the actual fuck has come up with such trash? Politicians can be such dumbfucks sometimes wtf..😐🤔

"Intel Inside" is a Government Warning required by Law.

Out of 24 hours in the day it takes 10 seconds to accept a delivery. How come the delivery person knocks on the door precisely at the same moment I sit down on a pooper..? I mean, it must be a law of nature or smth. It can't be a coincidence...

This whole GDPR, cookie law thing is really getting annoying.. Every website you load:

A wild large popup dialog appears, reasons this and that, options this and that, click next, are you sure, yes, yes,..

The dialog itself is annoying, but it's even more annoying if it pops-up 10 seconds after you've already scrolled and are reading stuff.

Am I the only one who didn't care that I got tracked and whatnot and analytics stuffs were stored etc?

I know its a serious business - but there is a lot of talk re: testing (nuclear) at the moment.

It kinda puts things into perspective when we talk of programming tests. Makes me wonder how military engineers think of testing given that nuclear tests are ultimately illegal (I think) under international law.

I'm the first person in 4 generations that works in a tech/hands-on area.

Everyone in my family works in media, sales, diamonds, law, business and teachers(in Yiddish it's called Luft-gescheft- air business)

They have no clue what I'm doing and how I got where I am and see it as a waste of time.

My parents don't understand, my brother and sister in law are PM's

"Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job."
Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering

This made my debugging day a bit more tolerable. Hope it will have similar effect on yours :)

When client budget is less than the time needed to do a good jobs.

Happens more than I like.

"We’ve all said we’d go back and clean it up later. Of course, in those days we didn’t know LeBlanc’s law: Later equals never."
-Clean Code

"I want to create an app that rates other people. That way law enforcement officials know whether or not to trust them"

why should i use scrypt over bcrypt if moore's law is coming to an end?