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Search - "200 ok"
-
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 204 No Content
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 413 Payload Too Large
Me: 102 Processing
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 429 Too Many Requests
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Me: 101 Switching Protocols
Me: 408 Request Timeout
GF: 102 Processing
Me: GET /sleep
Sleep: 404 Not Found
Me: 406 Not Acceptable
(Morning)
Me: 501 Not Implemented19 -
Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"
I'll never forget the words of the client:
"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."
*insert you dense mf meme here*20 -
Got my hands on an interesting API.
Look around on the site.
No documentation. Like, nothing. Not even examples.
Tried calling it.
Response code: 200 OK
Body: Unknown Error.
Well, fuck you too.17 -
So, you start with a PHP website.
Nah, no hating on PHP here, this is not about language design or performance or strict type systems...
This is about architecture.
No backend web framework, just "plain PHP".
Well, I can deal with that. As long as there is some consistency, I wouldn't even mind maintaining a PHP4 site with Y2K-era HTML4 and zero Javascript.
That sounds like fucking paradise to me right now. 😍
But no, of course it was updated to PHP7, using Laravel, and a main.js file was created. GREAT.... right? Yes. Sure. Totally cool. Gotta stay with the times. But there's still remnants of that ancient framework-less website underneath. So we enter an era of Laravel + Blade templates, with a little sprinkle of raw imported PHP files here and there.
Fine. Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css. Whatever. I can still handle this. 🤨
But then the Frontend hipsters swoosh back their shawls, sip from their caramel lattes, and start whining: "We want React! We want SPA! No more BootstrapCSS, we're going to launch our own suite of SASS styles! IT'S BETTER".
OK, so we create REST endpoints, and the little monkeys who spend their time animating spinners to cover up all the XHR fuckups are satisfied. But they only care about the top most visited pages, so we ALSO need to keep our Blade templated HTML. We now have about 200 SPA/REST routes, and about 350 classic PHP/Blade pages.
So we enter the Era of Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css + hipster.sass + REST + React + SPA 😑
Now the Backend grizzlies wake from their hibernation, growling: We have nearly 25 million lines of PHP! Monoliths are evil! Did you know Netflix uses microservices? If we break everything into tiny chunks of code, all our problems will be solved! Let's use DDD! Let's use messaging pipelines! Let's use caching! Let's use big data! Let's use search indexes!... Good right? Sure. Whatever.
OK, so we enter the Era of Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css + hipster.sass + REST + React + SPA + Redis + RabbitMQ + Cassandra + Elastic 😫
Our monolith starts pooping out little microservices. Some polished pieces turn into pretty little gems... but the obese monolith keeps swelling as well, while simultaneously pooping out more and more little ugly turds at an ever faster rate.
Management rushes in: "Forget about frontend and microservices! We need a desktop app! We need mobile apps! I read in a magazine that the era of the web is over!"
OK, so we enter the Era of Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css + hipster.sass + REST + GraphQL + React + SPA + Redis + RabbitMQ + Google pub/sub + Neo4J + Cassandra + Elastic + UWP + Android + iOS 😠
"Do you have a monolith or microservices" -- "Yes"
"Which database do you use" -- "Yes"
"Which API standard do you follow" -- "Yes"
"Do you use a CI/building service?" -- "Yes, 3"
"Which Laravel version do you use?" -- "Nine" -- "What, Laravel 9, that isn't even out yet?" -- "No, nine different versions, depends on the services"
"Besides PHP, do you use any Python, Ruby, NodeJS, C#, Golang, or Java?" -- "Not OR, AND. So that's a yes. And bash. Oh and Perl. Oh... and a bit of LUA I think?"
2% of pages are still served by raw, framework-less PHP.32 -
Me: We should change the http response code to anything but 200 OK in the error response case of our API.
Other dev: No, it's fine.
Me: Why?
Other dev: The client successfully receives an error message.
Me: ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ノ︵ ┻━┻15 -
RE: Why I punched Dave
In my defense to the accusation against me punching back end developer dave in the face, look at the following response:
HTTP 1.1
status: 200
mesaage: OK
body: {
"success": "false",
"message": "error"
}11 -
It's maddening how few people working with the internet don't know anything about the protocols that make it work. Web work, especially, I spend far too much time explaining how status codes, methods, content-types etc work, how they're used and basic fundamental shit about how to do the job of someone building internet applications and consumable services.
The following has played out at more than one company:
App: "Hey api, I need some data"
API: "200 (plain text response message, content-type application/json, 'internal server error')"
App: *blows the fuck up
*msg service team*
Me: "Getting a 200 with a plaintext response containing an internal server exception"
Team: "Yeah, what's the problem?"
Me: "...200 means success, the message suggests 500. Either way, it should be one of the error codes. We use the status code to determine how the application processes the request. What do the logs say?"
Team: "Log says that the user wasn't signed in. Can you not read the response message and make a decision?"
Me: "That status for that is 401. And no, that would require us to know every message you have verbatim, in this case, it doesn't even deserialize and causes an exception because it's not actually json."
Team: "Why 401?"
Me: "It's the code for unauthorized. It tells us to redirect the user to the sign in experience"
Team: "We can't authorize until the user signs in"
Me: *angermatopoeia* "Just, trust me. If a user isn't logged in, return 401, if they don't have permissions you send 403"
Team: *googles SO* "Internet says we can use 500"
Me: "That's server error, it says something blew up with an unhandled exception on your end. You've already established it was an auth issue in the logs."
Team: "But there's an error, why doesn't that work?"
Me: "It's generic. It's like me messaging you and saying, "your service is broken". It doesn't give us any insight into what went wrong or *how* we should attempt to troubleshoot the error or where it occurred. You already know what's wrong, so just tell me with the status code."
Team: "But it's ok, right, 500? It's an error?"
Me: "It puts all the troubleshooting responsibility on your consumer to investigate the error at every level. A precise error code could potentially prevent us from bothering you at all."
Team: "How so?"
Me: "Send 401, we know that it's a login issue, 403, something is wrong with the request, 404 we're hitting an endpoint that doesn't exist, 503 we know that the service can't be reached for some reason, 504 means the service exists, but timed out at the gateway or service. In the worst case we're able to triage who needs to be involved to solve the issue, make sense?"
Team: "Oh, sounds cool, so how do we do that?"
Me: "That's down to your technology, your team will need to implement it. Most frameworks handle it out of the box for many cases."
Team: "Ah, ok. We'll send a 500, that sound easiest"
Me: *..l.. -__- ..l..* "Ok, let's get into the other 5 problems with this situation..."
Moral of the story: If this is you: learn the protocol you're utilizing, provide metadata, and stop treating your customers like shit.22 -
To all young freelancers in low-income countries: I want to share my experience, of 6 years working for a piss-poor country, and 6 years working in freelance, and then emigrating. Here's what you should watch out for, and what to expect:
My first salary was barely 1.5$ per hour. I lived in a piss-poor country that taught me a lot (like why it's piss-poor).
The main thing to note when you're a developer in such a country, is that you're being fucked. Your employer might scream at you and tell you how bad you are, while barely paying you. That is you ... being ... fucked. Gain some confidence with the help of friends and family, and a great effort from yourself, look at what freelance gigs you can find, and ditch anything related to jobs in your country.
Being a somewhat able developer, but with modest experience, I started my freelance gigs for 5$ per hour. Because I was lazy, and freelance gigs weren't exactly being thrown at me, I was making 100$ per week, AFTER the companies I worked for appreciated what I did and offered themselves to up my pay to 12$ per hour. Yep. I was lazy. You will likely get lazy in freelance too, so be prepared for this.
My luck changed when one of my clients became a full-time employer, at 15$ per hour, with a well organized team where I actually worked for 40 hours per week (I had already amassed 8 years of experience...). For people in first world countries that will seem laughable, but in my country I was king of the hill, getting paid more than government CEOs that ended up in the news as the "most well paid".
That was the top of the pyramid for international indie freelance, as I would later find out.
I didn't do stuff that was very difficult. In fact, I felt like my abilities were rotting while I worked there. I had to change something. So I started looking for better offers. I contacted many companies that were looking for a senior developer, and the interviews went well, and all was fine, except for my salary demands. I was asking for 25$ per hour. Nobody was willing to pay more than 15$ per hour. That's because of my competition - tons of developers in cheap-to-live countries that had the same, or more to offer, for the same rates. Globalization.
So I moved to Germany. As soon as I was legally able to work, I was hunted down by everybody. I was told that it takes a month to pass the whole hiring process in Germany. My experience demonstrated that 2-5 days is enough to get a signed contract with "Please start ASAP".
There is freelance in Germany as well. And in the US. And everywhere else. A "special" kind of freelance, where you have to reside locally. The rates that this freelance goes for is much, much higher than international freelance. I'd say that 100€ per hour is ok-ish. Some people (newbies, or foreigners who don't speak the language well) get less, around 60 or so. Smart experienced locals get around 150-200 or even more.
It's all there. Companies want good developers to solve their business problems with IT solutions, and they'll beg you to take their money if you can deliver that.
So code!
Learn!
Accummulate experience!
Screw the scumbags that screw you for 1-2$ per hour!
Anyone able to write something more than "Hello World!" deserves more.
Do the climb! There's literally room for everybody up there! There is so much to do, that I feel like there will never be too many developers.
Thank you for bearing with my long story. I hope it will help you make it shorter and more pleasant for you.12 -
I never liked cleaning my room.... usually the conversation goes like this
Dad: clean ur room
Me: meh... I'll do it later
$200 robot vacuum: clean ur room otherwise the crap on the floor will jam me
Me: ok ok... Give me a few mins30 -
Request URL: /api/v1/user/53b49b5a30
Request Method: GET
Expected Response:
Status Code: 404 Not Found (as the user is actually not present in the DB)
Actual Response:
Status Code: 200 Ok
Response Content:
{
"status": "ERROR",
"errorCode": "404",
"errorMsg": "User Not Found. Please provide a valid user ID",
"type": "Error",
"userMsg": "User Not Found. Please provide a valid user ID"
}
#extremefacepalm19 -
A programmer once explained Nietzsche like this:
A long time ago, god created the world, but forgot to leave a developer documentation, thus the whole world was like legacy code...
And humans are like the end user of this world, and some among them spent time studying it, using the Moral API, hoping to get a result of "http 200 ok" from our world for the peace of mind. But the true operation of this world is still yet unknown...
As time passes, humans begin to find that in Moral API, good and evil are two base classes, and all the other moral properties (like ethic, justice and stuff) are just other classes based on those two classes through multiple inheritance.
One day, when programmer Nietzsche was observing the world's runtime behavior, he came up with a question:
"Did god really use good and evil as base classes? Could it be that they are actually derived classes?"
Most of the world is currently in the favor of mankind, and god must've wrote individual user cases for it's end users, he thought.
This made Nietzsche thinking: if end users are considered into two cases: the strong and the weak, how would the world be designed base on its user story?
Let's think about the strong, they can bully the weak as they please, and there's nothing the weak can do to stop them. In this case whether the Moral API exists or not doesn't fulfill the need of the strong.
But when it comes to the weak, Nietzsche thinks that because the weak cannot fight the strong, they need to belittle bullying and praise the strong for being nice. When the weak does this, it covers their powerless state to some extent, making them look somehow equal to the strong by being capable of commenting.
God might have coded the Moral API to fit the weak's requirement, also adding some public methods for the weak to comment on the strong. If the strong takes care of the weak, they call him nice and good, if the strong bullies people, they call him bad and evil.
That's when Nietzsche realized, that good and evil are both derived classes from the weak, and the base class should be the strong and the weak.
Then he started a series of studies about the Moral API, and got some thesis that persuaded lots of other end users...7 -
Accidentally left a test line in an API method - the first line returned a 200 OK response.
It was a notification API for our payment portal, so when they complained our API didn't work our logs always said all was fine...
After an hour of listening to our help desk guys saying "everything in our logs says it's fine", I looked at source for 2 seconds, fixed the problem, went home, had a whiskey and went to bed!1 -
Ok so the ex boyfriend (let's call him Joe) of a friend of mine is a dumbass
He wanted to hack her phone, or whatever, so hired someone on telegram to do it. He asked her phone number and 200€.
After actually giving him the money this guy sent a ransom asking for 2k to not turn Joe in.
Joe learned a lesson.4 -
Senior colleagues insisting on ALWAYS returning HTTP status 200 and sticking any error codes in the contained JSON response instead of using 4×× or 5×× statuses.
Bad input? Failed connections? Missing authorization? Doesn't matter, you get an OK. Wanna know if the request actually succeeded? Fuck you, parse potential kilobytes of JSON to get to the error code!
Am I the asshole or is that defeating the purpose of a status code?!15 -
Summary: Burnout, and everything's broken.
I don't feel like doing a damn thing today. I look at the code and cringe. I look at Slack and think "ugh. i can't." Mental capitals are even too much work.
(I've started reading "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" to try and combat burnout. I'll write a rant/story about it here if I find it helpful. but all I want to do today is drink tea and read.)
But onto the story:
Heroku is deprecating support for and will automatically upgrade any old verisons of Postgres running on its platform after August something (like five days from now).
I performed the upgrade to PG10 on Sunday (and late into the night), provisioning a new follower, blah blah blah.
However, the version of Rails we're using (4.2.x) doesn't support PG10 sequences, so I manually added in support via a monkeypatch. I did this on our QA servers first, obviously, and everything worked as expected. After half a day of no issues, I did the same on production, and again: everything worked as expected.
But today? I keep hearing about new things that are broken. One specific type of alert doesn't work for one specific person (wat). Can't send [redacted] at all. Can't update merchants! Yet there are magically no errors logged.
That last one (well, two) are just great; let me explain: when there's an error concerning merchants, the error gets caught, isn't logged or recorded anywhere so it just disappears, and the rescue block triggers a json response instead and happily exits. This is for an internal admin tool, so returning a user-friendly error is kinda stupid anyway, but masking what actually happened? fuck that dev with an obelisk made from spikes and solidified pain. That json response is also lovely: it's a 200 OK returning {status: 1, data: "[generic message containing incorrect IT jargon]"}. Doesn't even say "error" anywhere. Bloody everything about this pattern is absolutely wrong. Even the friggin' text.
Fucking hell. I want to pipe the entire codebase into shred and walk out the door.
But I digress. So many things are broken, my motivation is wanning to a sliver, and I have a conference call today where I'll undoubtedly be asked why everything is on smoking and/or on fire, and my huge and overly productive week last week will ofc mean nothing by contrast.
Ugh.
`shred ~/dev/work -zfu -n 32 &; ./brew tea --hot && wine ~/takeabreak.exe`rant zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance postgres heroku ship's sinking and the fixer's all fixed out burnout21 -
I'm doing a migration where I have to move like 200+ old-old websites. Stuff was never touched for ages and we kinda moved it 'into the cloud' now.
So after a few sites I check graylog (where all the logs are stored) and I saw this gem:
stderr: PHP message: PHP Warning: file_get_contents(http://tinyurl.com/api-create.php/... Online Viagra/): failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 400 Bad Request
And I was like, wtf? Is this site hacked?
Ok the sadness starts now. Behold the following:
function getTinyUrl($url) {
$tinyurl = file_get_contents("http://tinyurl.com/api-create.php/...);
return $tinyurl;
}
This function gets executed for the current link AND every dynamic href on the page.. EVERY pageload.
I was not even mad.2 -
Somebody asked on how to get started on Full Stack web application development.
This is how I got started.
Client side Web Application Development:
---------------------------------------------------------------
• Start with basic HTML, CSS and JS, JSON. For quick learning, see W3Schools for these topic or YouTube it.
• Get a local web server. "200 OK!" webserver chrome extension is a good start. (https://chrome.google.com/webstore/...)
• Learn Chrome Dev Tools to debug the pages. YouTube it.
• Get a good IDE. I am very happy with VSCode. You can use it for very serious WebApps.
• Start learning JavaScript language in depth, but just related to Web Browser related topic or you would get sucked in server side too early.
• Install node.js. Learn NPM package manager. Learn basic node commands.
• Learn complexity of JS file referencing, JS modules in browser. Just learn, don't use it yet, to understand the benefits of code bundlers.
• Learn Webpack code bundler.
• Learn how to make you simple site much faster and using in Mobile using "Progressive Web Apps".
• Now learn to make modular UIs. I love React. Focus on getting the UI code modulear. Create Single Page sites. (You are not there yet to create a Web App) “Create-React-App” started kit is a good starting point.
• Learn to create multi-page site using React-router.
• Learn application state management using Redux.
• Learn to create application decision engine using Redux-Saga.
Practice and master each stage.
Along above, learn git / GitHub (to learn from others code), find good web resources like Medium / Smashing magazine, good YouTube channels etc. I subscribed to some popular Udemy courses too.
Server side Web development:
------------------------------------------
:) First learn client side Web Application development. Server side learning is another story.3 -
It fucking staggers me how many backend/devops-y people don't understand what a client side "request timeout" is, versus a server side one.
What does it mean:
The client was fed up with the servers bullshit, and decided to piss off and not wait around for the server to take forever to respond, because life's too short.
How not to solve/debug this issue:
- "I've checked the API request in tool xyz, and it works fine for me"
Congratulations, you've figured out how to call an API once, in isolation to the rest of the application, and without any excessive load. And using a different client to me, with a different configuration. Lets get back to actually looking at the issue shall we?
- "I only see HTTP 200's in the logs"
Yep, you probably will in most circumstances, because its the client complaining about it taking too long, not the server. If the server was telepathetic and knew what the client was thinking/doing at all times, we wouldn't have half of the errors we do.
- "Ah ok, I understand ... so how do I solve this?"
Your asking me? I don't fucking know, I didn't build the server! Put better logging in place and figure out why sometimes it takes forever.
Jesus fucking christ14 -
That's actually something that happened fairly recently.. just that I didn't have the energy left at the time to write it down. That, or I got my ass too drunk to properly write anything.. not sure actually.
So on paper I'm unemployed, but I do spend some time still on pretty much voluntary work for HackingVision, along with a handful of other people.
At the time, we were just doing the usual chit-chat in the admin channel, me still sick in my bed (actually that means that I wasn't drunk but really tired for once.. amazing!) and catching up to what happened, but unable to do any useful work in this sick state. So, tablet, typing on glass, right. I didn't have any keyboard attached at the time.
One of the staff members (a wanketeer from India) apparently had an assignment in a few hours for which he needed to write a server application in Java. Now, performance issues aside, I figured.. well I've got quite a bit of experience with servers, as well as some with client-server protocols. So I got thinking.. mail servers, way too overengineered. Web servers.. well that could work, I've done some basic netcat webservers that just sent an HTTP 200 OK and the file, those worked fine.. although super basic of course. And then there's IRC, which I've actually talked to an InspIRCd server through telnet before (which by the way is pretty much the only thing that telnet is still useful for, something that was never its purpose, lol) and realized that that protocol is actually quite easy to develop around. That's why I like it so much over modern chat protocols like XMPP, MQTT and whatnot. So I recommended that he'd write a little IRC server in Java. Or even just a chatbot like I attempted to at the time, considering that that's - with a stretch of course - a sort-of server too.
His fucking response however, so goddamn fucking infuriating. "If the protocol is so easy, then please write me down how to implement it in Java."
Essentially do his fucking work for him. I don't know Java, but as a fucking HackingVision admin, YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT HACKERS CAN'T STAND LAZY CUNTS THAT CAN'T EVEN BE ASSED TO GOOGLE SHIT!!! If I wanted to deal with cunts like that, I'd have opened the page inbox with all its Fb h4xx0ring questions, not the fucking admin chat!
And type it on a goddamn fucking piece of glass, while fucking sick?! Get your ass fucked by a bobs and vegana horny fuck from the untouchable caste, because that's where you fucking belong for expecting THAT from me, you fucking bhenchod.
But at least I didn't get my ass enraged like that to say that to him in the admin chat. Although that probably wouldn't have been a bad thing, to get his feet right back on the ground again.1 -
In january 2023 i was contacted by a recruiter offering me a job position.
I DID NOT ASK FOR A JOB.
I WAS NOT LOOKING FOR A JOB.
THEY contacted ME.
Ok. So i went along with it and see how it goes. They probably wont hire me nor would i give a shit. Chatted with this recruiter for a while. She forgets to answer my message for 5 fucking days. Twice. Once because she was doing God knows what and the second time because she was on paid vacation. Fine i don't give a shit about you at all anyways.
So this recruiter chatting has been stretched out for several days. I think over a WEEK. So she forwarded me to their lead developer.
I applied to work as a full stack java spring boot backend + angular frontend engineer.
So:
- java backend
- angular frontend
- full stack
- shitload of devops
- shitload of projects i built
- worked with clients
- have CS degree, graduated
- worked a job at their rival company
What could go fucking wrong with all of these stats right?
During technical + hr interview (3 of us on google meets) they asked me what salary I'd be comfortable with.
I said $1500/month straight out.
keep in mind:
- In my country $500 or $600 is a salary for engineers per month
- You get a raise of +$150 which is around $750 after working for 1+ year
- You can earn $1000+ after you work for +2 years
- Rent here is $200-300 a month at minimun. And because of inflation its just getting worse especially with food. So this salary is not for living but for survival.
Their lead engineer gave me a WHOLE ASS FUCKING PROJECT TO BUILD and i had to code it within 10 days. Great so at least 17+ days of my fucking life to waste on these fucktards who contacted ME.
The project was about building a web app coffee shop literally what mcdonalds has when you order via those tablets. I had to build this in java spring boot and angular. I had to integrate:
- docker, devops
- barmen, baristas, orders
- people can order at the table or to go
- each barista can take 5 orders at a time
- each coffee has different types of fields and brewing time
- each barman brews each coffee different period of time
- barista cant take more than 5 orders for to go until barman finishes the previous order
- barista can take more than 5 orders but if those orders were ordered from table, and they have to be put in queue
- had to build CRUD admin functionality coffee's
- had to export them all of the postman routes
- had to design a scalable database infrastructure for all of this alone
- shitload of stuff more
And guess what. After 10 painful days I BUILT THE WHOLE THING MYSELF AND I BUILT EVERYTHING THEY ASKED FOR. IT WAS WORKING.
Submitted it. They told me they'll contact me within 7 days to schedule the final Technical interview after they review what i built. Great so another 17+7 days of my fucking time wasted.
OH and they also told me to send them THE WHOLE GITHUB REPOSITORY AND TRANSFER OWNERSHIP TO THEIR COMPANY'S OWNERSHIP. once you do this you cant have your repository back. WTF? WHY CANT YOU JUST REVIEW THE CODE FROM MY PUBLIC REPOSITORY? That was so weird but what can i fucking do argue with these dickheads?
After a week of them not answering i contacted them via email. They forgot and apologized. Smh. Then they scheduled an interview within 3 days. Great more of my time wasted.
During interview i was on a google meets with their lead engineer, 1 backend java spring boot engineer and 1 angular frontend developer. They were milking me dry for 1 whole fucking hour.
They only pointed out the flaws in what i built, which are miniscule and have not once congratulated me on the rest of the good parts. I explained them i had to rush those parts so the code may not be perfect. I had other shit to do in my life and not work for your shitty project for $0/hour for 10 days you fucking dickriders.
So they quickly ran over to theory. They asked me where is jwt token stored. Who generates it. How the backend knows to authenticate user by it. I explained.
What are solid principles. I said i cant explain what is it but i understand how it works, why its needed and how to implement it (they can clearly see in the project i just build that i applied SOLID principles everywhere) - but i do admit i dont know the theory behind it 100% clearly.
Then they asked me about observables and promises in angular. I explained them how they work and how subscribe method is used (as they can clearly see that i used it in the code). Then they asked me to explain them under the hood of how observables work. The fuck? I dont know and dont care? But i can learn it as i work there?
Etc
Final result: after dragging this for 1 fucking month for miserable $1500/month they told me: we can either hire you now but for a much lower salary which you probably wont be happy with, or you can study more these things we discussed "and know why the car leaks oil" and reapply back to us in 2-3 months!23 -
1. Pre-sales to Client: We can develop 200 APIs with 10 developers in 9 months.
2. Client: Ok! Cool, its a deal.
-- Sprint starts --
3. Actual: We are 6 developers, commited (or sold out) to make 200 APIs in 9 months.
Fucking pre-sales.3 -
Creative dev compliments? Wow, that shows what type of person I am. I only know creative dev insults. Okay let me give it a go!
Wow, I'm gonna star that on GitHub!
Good work! I'm gonna put a shortcut to that right here on my desktop (in the same tone as "I'm gonna hang that on the fridge")
You're so meticulous that the unit tests are to make sure the computer works correctly, not your code.
If you were a web server, you'd always return 200/OK.
Your parents must have compiled you with -Ofast -
Gas station clerk: "with our phone app you can get a discount for fuel and car washes!"
Me: OK, I'll definitely try it out next time!
Me: *drive home*
Me: *download and install the app*
1_week_later.jpg
Phone: Out of storage!
Phone: Battery draining faster!
Phone: Gas station app uses 200-300MB and is running in the background
Me: *uninstalls the gas station app*
Never ever again.
Why would a simple thing like that
1. run in the background
2. use this amount of storage
??? I can't get my head around it. Seriously... 2-3 activities with nothing but text in them. 200 MB??!!?? Are you using fucking pictures of letters for the text, or what? a.jpg, b.gif, c.avi ???7 -
Me: please return http code 202 in your http service.
My collegue: ok.
After one hour...
Me: you are returning 200, I told you 202. Let me see the code:
OMFG she was writing the string "202" in the response body!!!
I do not know how to escape from all of this shit.1 -
"200 Internal Server Error"
Yep, I did that. Because the lousy crapheads I work with were too lazy to handle any other HTTP status so anything else breaks the whole thing. And it's a pain to roll out another release of their part of the backend so "this isn't a priority". Also, they don't feel the need to check the JSON body of the response for the "status":"ok"/"fail" because what could ever go wrong, right? I effectively have no way of conveying to them that there was an error on this end of the API so they show success toast on the frontend irrespective of what really happened.6 -
Just found this HTTP response.
Status Code:
200 - OK
Body:
{
status: "success",
response:
{
status: "error",
}
}13 -
This begs for a rant... [too bad I can't post actual screenshots :/ ]
Me: He k8s team! We're having trouble with our k8s cluster. After scaling up and running h/c and Sanity tests environment was confirmed as Healthy and Stable. But once we'd started our load tests k8s cluster went out for a walk: most of the replicas got stoped and restarted and I cannot find in events' log WHY that happened. Could you please have a look?
k8s team [india]: Hello, thank you for reaching out to k8s support. We will check and let you know.
Me: Oh, you're welcome! I'll be just sitting here quietly and eagerly waiting for your reply. TIA! :slightly_smiling_face:
<5 minutes later>
k8s team India: Hi. Could you give me a list of replicas that were failing?
Me: I gave you a Grafana link with a timeframe filter. Look there -- almost all apps show instability at k8s layer. For instance APP_1 and APP_2 were OK. But APP_3, APP_4 and APP_5 were crashing all over the place
k8s team India: ok I will check.
<My shift has ended. k8s team works in different timezone. I've opened up Slack this morning>
k8s team India: HI. APP_1 and APP_2 are fine. I don't even see any errors from logs, no restarts. All response codes are 200.
Me: 🤦♂️ .... Man, isn't that what I've said? ... 🤦♂️5 -
Not CS degree, but EE, and totally worth the effort. Not only that without degree, I wouldn't get jobs in many companies, but I actually learnt a lot. Laplace and Fourier will be as valid in a 100 years as they were 200 years ago.
Yeah, it was fucking hard. Math was rather OK, only 50% of the students failed the first exam. EE was harder, 90% failed at the first try. That wasn't regarded as problem - on the contrary, the exams were designed to weed out. After two semesters, we already had 50% student loss.
I remember what the EE prof told us in the first semester: we would learn a lot of things, but most importantly, to think like an engineer. Didn't make sense right away, but 5 years later, I knew what he had been talking about.3 -
> Startup: ok listen up, we got this super cool thing we want to do with Twilio. Doesn't get any easier: some calls to book a restaurant, you ask for booking data and save that on some db.
> iHateForALiving: I'm on it. We got a couple weeks of development, never worked with Twilio, but should be easy enough
> Startup: Hold it big guy, we can't just write code like this. There's this OTHER developer with a super cool framework he wrote himself, it supports OAuth2 and multitenancy, written in Huskell, microservices to authenticate several apps all working concurrently in our environment, some orchestrator, cloud computing on AWS, you're going to love it. There's this Postman project with 200-something calls (the ones I need for my project, one and only consumer for those APIs, are 5 including the login)
> iHateForALiving: You are aware you'll have approximately six clients and they'll pay some 30 bucks each per month, aren't you?
> Startup: You don't understand, this infrastructure is CRITICAL for the future of our company
> ffwd 6 months
> iHateForALiving: guys we had this 2 weeks project and it's taking months, I'm ready, what is going on there?
> Startup: someone killed our DB, the OTHER developer pushed on git the access credentials :(
THE FULL MOON IS DRAWING NEAR AND THE FUCKING WERECODERS STRIKE AGAIN! -
Got my first Linux magazine with real worth tips for noobs with advanced stuff (like mounting a web mail server using Nmap, create personalized distros ssh, terminology and stuff , you don't see that in most noob magazines).
First point... Comes with a CD with 4 distros (OK... I perfer to download the latest for my VMs) and 200 euros worth of.. Linux software?
And I ripped this beautiful cover before even reading it... Killing a wasp. So, worth the 10 euros even before opening it5 -
SO MAD. Hands are shaking after dealing with this awful API for too long. I just sent this to a contact at JP Morgan Chase.
-------------------
Hello [X],
1. I'm having absolutely no luck logging in to this account to check the Order Abstraction service settings. I was able to log in once earlier this morning, but ever since I've received this frustratingly vague "We are currently unable to complete your request" error message (attached). I even switched IP's via a VPN, and was able to get as far as entering the below Identification Code until I got the same message. Has this account been blocked? Password incorrect? What's the issue?
2. I've been researching the Order Abstraction API for hours as well, attempting to defuddle this gem of an API call response:
error=1&message=Authentication+failure....processing+stopped
NOWHERE in the documentation (last updated 14 months ago) is there any reference to this^^ error or any sort of standardized error-handling description whatsoever - unless you count the detailed error codes outlined for the Hosted Payment responses, which this Order Abstraction service completely ignores. Finally, the HTTP response status code from the Abstraction API is "200 OK", signaling that everything is fine and dandy, which is incorrect. The error message indicates there should be a 400-level status code response, such as 401 Unauthorized, 403 Forbidden or at least 400 Bad Request.
Frankly, I am extremely frustrated and tired of working with poorly documented, poorly designed and poorly maintained developer services which fail to follow basic methodology standardized decades ago. Error messages should be clear and descriptive, including HTTP status codes and a parseable response - preferably JSON or XML.
-----
This whole piece of garbage is junk. If you're big enough to own a bank, you're big enough to provide useful error messages to the developers kind enough to attempt to work with you.2 -
[story of your first dev project] - i really think there should be a headline like that for wk rants
Anyways, it was a while back, le college teacher approached my friend and me asking if we wanted to do a project. We said sure, it was a medium sized data analysis project. We got the specs with a lot of formulas, basically implement them all and make a web frontend, thats it. Took like a year but we did it. Few months later teacher is furious because the calculations didnt give him data that he expected (by expect i mean he thought that a distribution formula would accurately yield 200+ data fields from around 4) and blamed it on us. Not the retard other professor who fucked up half of the formulas. Ok.1 -
3 months project:
- deadline changed to 2 months
- specs delayed by 1 month
Now a 1 month project...
Started one month earlier so I could achieve something...
Now, 23 days to deadline: here, take this 20 page PDF with 200 questions ( witch can be drastically reduced) to make the new form section (2nd section out of 6).
Me: OK, but it could be nice to have everything at once so I could design it accordingly , I can see questions here that are repetitive , it would spare me a lot of work if I could see the big picture.
she: Just put those (200 f#cking questions) on and show me so I can see if its good and deliver the rest based on it.
OK, fuck it I'm just let hibernate create all the fucking tables and I figured out where to get all the questions she wants anyway... there are 7 categories with repeated questions...(about 150)...
Just wonder what's so hard to do her job... she had 3 months to do it and I only have 1... -
TLDR: There's some days where the Gods of IT are not with you. Just lost a whole day of work.
So this morning, we (me and my team) big performance issues with our web app. Lot's of requests time out, big latency, etc
Try to ssh to VPS, latency of 10 seconds between user input and output.
Usual checks: RAM ok, Proc ok, hard drive ok, reboot server (20 minutes), update/upgrade
We decide to call OVH. After 15 minutes call, we try to reboot in rescue mode. Reboot fails at 60% + everything freezes.
After an hour, OVH opens an incident ticket on +200 vps instances (including mine) everything is down during +1h
Finally everything is okay ! Even had time to migrate my new database schema.
Still, quick heavy on the mind but feels good to go home with everything working out correctly -
I was a child and I was playing Habbo, I was really addicted to it. A friend of mine in this game said me "why don't we create a fansite?" and I said "ok lol" because I imagined that creating a website would have been funny and easy. So I searched on Google how to create websites, and I discovered HTML. The first version was terrible, but with experience it went better day by day. It lasted 6 years and we had 200 users per day
-
Sometimes I think devs are like superheroes who are bored to death and just want to have the greatest world clusterfuck possible to be ... Amused.
Backstory: One project, fairly large (roughly 200 dependencies, a framework). I looked over the ticket backlog and a critical ticket title regarding the important framework caught my eye.
(Rephrased as title was gibberish)
Framework fork needed for supporting different versions of library X
...
Ok. They want to fork a whole fucking framework for a single library dependency.
😶
The framework that is the basis of like 30 - 40 % of all projects at our company.
😶
Maybe.. I just misunderstood it. (my hope dies several times a day, one more or less doesn't matter).
Ticker: Blablablablabla...
"to incorporate library X at version A and - for other projects - at version Y, we need to split the framework into two forks with different versions but same namespace."
🤮
Why. Just why. How the fuck can anyone come up with such an incredible stupidity?
After chewing some people's ears off....
It turned out to be very simple.
Just split off the library dependent part, which were like 20 plus classes.
Release it with two different versions, for library in version A and library B.
Done.
Sometimes devs terrify me.
Please. Never fork / branch a framework or anything "heavy" completely.
That's madness. Properly split what needs to be split and be done.
It's not that hard, hmkay?1 -
Today after longer vacation I came back to work.
Edit: wrote this rant long time ago, but never finished. Was too pissed.
Some easy meetings, then wanted to start on an easy job.
Just migrating some things from bash regex voodoo to proper tools like JQ.
Finished in roughly 1 h. Lovely.
Made some tea, ate some cookies.
Set up dev environment, found no documentation what so ever, got it running after half an hour.
Annoying, but ok.
Then I tried my scripts...
They worked... Except they didn't.
Console log empty, response code 200 with state: GENERATE_NO_FILES.
Eh. Fuck you. Just fuck you.
Fixed the logging configuration, which was broken since uhm... 2 years plus?
Well... Another half another hour gone...
Kinda pissed now.
Still script return failed...
Poking and trying to sprinkle debug all over that shit cause everything seems ... An incohesive, inconsistent diarrhea.
3 hours later...
Made the ticket to rewrite it.
I did nothing wrong at all.
The API just has no workflow at all. The
*seperate* API calls have to be in an **specific** order - as otherwise the generation will fail, as the prerequisites for the generation are not fulfilled.
Yeah. Completely logical. Especially not to give out any kind of warning or an error message like requirements not met, blablabla.
I drank that evening 2 six packs of beer. I was raging mad....
Then gave that shit to another manager, as I never want to touch that nuclear waste again....
How can someone be so brain damaged -.-1 -
Ok so apparently, if you are a mid-skilled worker and want to sell a service in this country you must register to some "state trade chamber" and start paying 3k/yr right away.
So, by doing the math, if I wanted to provide some cheap hosting service I should start with minimum 200 customers from day 0.
Fuck that.6 -
I have just slept for a minimum of 5 hours. It is 7:47 PM atm.
Why?
We have had a damn stressful day today.
We have had a programming test, but it really was rather an exam.
Normally, you get 30 minutes for a test and 45 minutes for an exam.
In this "test" we have had to explain what 'extends' does and name a few advantages of why one should use it.
Check.
Read 3 separate texts and write the program code on paper. It was about 1 super class and 1 sub class with a test class in Java.
Check.
Task 3: Create the UML diagram of the code from above. *internally: From above? He probably means my code since there is no other code there. *Checks time*. I have about 3 minutes left. Fuck my life.*
Draws the boxes. Put the class names in each of them. A private attribute for the super class.
Teacher: Last minute!
Draw the arrow starting starting from the sub class to the super class.
Put my name on each written paper. And mentally done for the day. Couldn't finish the last task. Task 3.
During this "test", I heard the frustrations of my classmates. Seemed like everyone was pretty much pissed.
After a short discussion with the teacher who also happens to be the physics professor of a university nearby.
[If you are reading this, I hope that something bad happens to you]
The next course was about computer systems. Remember my recent rant about DNS, dhcp, ftp, web server and samba on ubuntu?
We have had the task to do the screenshots of the consoles where you proof that you have dhcp activated on win7 machine etc. Seemed ok to me. I would have been done in 10 minutes, if I would be doing this relaxed. Now the teacher tells us to change the domain names to <surnameOfEachStudent>.edu.
I was like: That's fine.
Create a new user for the samba server. Read and write directories. Change the config.
Me: That should be easy.
Create new DNS entries in the configs.
Change the IPv6 address area to 192.168.x.100-200/24 only for the dhcp server.
Change the web server's default page. Write your own text into it.
You will have 1 hour and 30 minutes of time for it.
Dumbo -ANGRY-CLIENT-: Aye. Let us first start screenshotting the default page. Oh, it says that we should access it with the domain name. I don't have that much time. Let us be creative and fake it, legally.
Changes the title element so that it looks like it has been accessed via domain name. Deletes the url and writes the domain name without pressing Enter. Screenshot. Done. Ok, let us move to the next target.
Dhcp: Change lease time. Change IP address area. Subnet mask. Router. DNS. Broadcast. Optional domain name. Save.
Switches to win7.
ipconfig /release
ipconfig /renew
Holy shit it does not work!
After changing the configs on ubuntu for a legit 30 minutes: Maybe I should change the ip of the ubuntu virtual machine itself. *me asking my old self: why did not you do that in the first place, ass hole?!*
Same previous commands on win7 console. Does not work. Hmmm...
Where could be the problem?
Check the IP of the ubuntu server once again. Fml. Ubuntu did not save when I clicked on the save button the first time I have changed it. Click on save button 10 times to make sure it really is saved now lol.
Same old procedure on win7.
Alright. Dhcp works. Screenshot.
Checks time. 40 minutes left.
DNS:It is your turn. Checks bind9 configs. sudo nano db.reverse.edu.
sudo nano db.<mysurname>.edu.
Alright. All set. It should work now.
Ping win7 from ubuntu and vice versa. Works. Ping domain name on windows 7 vm. Does not work.
Oh, I forgot to restart the bind9 server on ubuntu.
sudo service bind stop
" " " start
Check DNS server IP on win7. It looks fine.
It still doesn't work. Fuck it. I have only 20 minutes left. Samba. Let us do this!
10 minutes in. No result. I don't remember why. I already forgot why I have done for it. It was a very stressful day.
Let us try DNS again.
Oh shit. I forgot the resolver!
sudo nano /etc/resolv.conf
The previous edits are gone. Dumb me. It says it in the comments. Why did not I care about it. Fuck it.6 minutes left. Open a yt video real quick. Changes the config file. Saves it. Restarts DNS and dhcp. Closes the terminal and opens a new one. The changes do not affect them until you reopen them. That's why.
Change to win7.
Ping works. How about nsloopup.
Does not work.
Teacher: 2 minutes left!
Fuck it.
Saves the word document with the images in it. Export as pdf. Tries to access the directories of the school samba server. Does not work. It was not my fault tho. Our school server is in general very slow. It feels like they are not maintained and left alone like this in the dust from the 90s.
Friend gets the permission to put his document on a USB and give the USB to the teacher.
Sneaky me: Hey xyz, can you give me your USB real quick?
Him: sure.
Gets bombed with "do you want to format the USB?" pop-ups 10 times. Fml. Skips in a fast way.
Transfers the pdf. Plug it out. Give it back.
After this we have had to give a presentation in politics. I am done.6 -
Performing code review for design quality.
So you return HTTP code 200 for 'ok'. So what do you return when things are not 'ok'?
Obviously something that's not 200. Like 300 (The message with the code was literally "not okay").1 -
Hello Apple. Let me tell you something.
Even though i like your phones. I ABSOLUTELY WANT TO FUCKIN KILL YOU FOR YOUR HEADPHONES.
It's unbelievable you cock suckers, evey time the same shit happens.
WHY THE FUCK YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AFTER 3-4 MONTHS START TO BEHAVE LIKE THEY ARE FUCKIN RETARDED.
1st headphones, they started changing songs randomly. That was back when i had iphone6.
It's ok i said, happens. Then i bought the iphone 7 and the headphones started behaving like that after some months. Again. Didn't say anything, i still liked them. So i went to buy the same headphones but for iphone6, with the 3.5mm jack. AND NOW THE SAME SHIT HAPPENS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AND YOUR FUCKIN 200€ HEADPHONES. COCKSUCKERS.
So, anyone knows any good quality headphones?
FUCK YOU APPLE.2 -
Some background to get us started...
Just took over the position as IT Specialist for our local county commission back in December after the previous employee left.
Before leaving she deleted all of her emails for the past 9 years.
Included in her emails were the details for certain program licensing the county had purchased not the least of which was 200 Office 2010 professional keys.
Getting into the office this morning my boss says "Hey got a problem for you, we've exceeded the license count for Microsoft office, and the vendor we purchased from is no longer in business."
My first response was Ok, lets go with open, or libre office. Problem solved. (I'm piece by piece upgrading our infrastructure to a more dependable OS you know, Linux.) I knew the open office suggestion wasn't going to fly so I promptly got on the phone with our friends @ Microsoft.
They were as helpful as you can expect when provided with only our MAK # and sent me back to try digging around for details 9 years old with our purchasing department. Who happens to be too damn busy to concern themselves with what the IT department needs this morning.
That will be remembered the next time the internet "Quits" working as they so often like to claim when then cant get an item to add to a cart in amazon.
Sure people just because your chosen shit browser (Edge) doesnt like to play well with js all the time the internet must be broken... -
Ok so i just bought a 256 GB SSD macbook pro and long story short i actually have 200 GB of free space when you take everything that takes up the space.
The fucking Catalina OS upgrade takes 8 GB.
Is this enough memory for programming/work related stuff???23 -
Ok, so my "so called friend" from high school calls me up and requests me for a CMS for his hoax call center business. I didn’t want to do it and didn't have the time so make the busy excuse.
He keeps on insisting and asking it for old time's sake etc.
Finally we decide a price of 80k(rupees not dollars).
I somehow, found the time and made about half of it in 3 days(Laravel rocks) while the time we agreed upon was 1.5 months as I could only work on weekends.
Suddenly he feels, he has got enough to get it working and says just add 1-2 more features, don't make the complete thing. I felt really angry as be was trying to waive off almost all the money as he thought it got done early.
Finally we agreed on 40k, but I wanted some payment up front.
This was 2 months ago. Since then he has ranted about how he has no money but is going to give me as soon as he gets it.
Now, he is dodging my calls and I don't think the the money is ever coming. I desperately needed it for a laptop.
I had already stopped the feature of adding more users(Create) from the CMS.
What do you think I should do?
1 Delete everything (I still have SSH)
2 Send info to all his clients about his hoax business as I have about 200 payment infos.
3 Do nothing
4 {Add your own}11 -
Long story short:
My system need to talk with a 3rd party PoS API. The provided doc is pretty useless and with few errors.. nonetheless I came to finish the 99% of the job.
I was stuckd on the 1%, one frickin function.
Everytime I would call the endpoint I would receive...NOTHING. Just a 200.
I've spent like 5 hours trying everything, even sending wrong params...nothing...
Always 200 and nothing else.
Apparently, for an entire nation and the IT Company behind them, is ok to have A PAYMENT API TO RETURN VOID AND A 200 NO MATTER WHAT.
I got the luck/unluck that the main developer of such piece of art came in the office and I've almost throw him out the window (we are at 26th floor).
FUCK OFF DUDE. YOU AND ALL THE OTHERS THAT DO LIKE YOU DO.
P.S. in this days I'll try to write the full story, but it's hard without giving many details...small anticipation: 1.5 months of work and nothing but red bull and coffee...4 -
Going through some code I was handed to do an emergency project... Think of an aspx site that follows no design rule, like database access directly in the code behind. No models ect. So I'm going through this section that calls a function good start. Open the function find a class that contain code to access the database.. Humm ok this part look better that the rest. Read the code that validates if it exist in the database and gets the type back. So far so good then there is a get details function call.... Open up the fct ... Started crying... There is a 200+ lines switch case that goes over the type previously fetched..... And the type is stringed compare in the biggest switch case I've ever seen.... Fthis... I'm out1
-
Just had a memory popup about my uni days about 5 years ago. I was in my Junior year in business school and was doing a "consulting" project involving the whole Class (200 students). Groups of 4 were assigned an international company in either Europe, Asia, or South America. We'd visit them (as well as do some sightseeing) and learn about them (performance, market positions, products) during Spring Break and come up with a real proposal. We would then compete with other teams, and the winning pitchs for each would be presented in the school auditorium in front the entire class.
Our team didn't get that far but that's not the point. We did win the individual classroom competition. Our company was Deutsche Telekom (owner of T-Mobile).
This was in 2010, when the iPhone/smart-phones started to become mainstream... And our team's idea was location-based advertising.
Looking back, we basically predicted the future... though we got the wrong industry...
It's also sort of funny though because I remember the main reason we came up with the idea was to be different.
All other teams just went with some expansion plan to a neighboring country or cutting costs.... pure MBA/business plan. But I guess I was being a natural techie so thought of a tech idea instead.
We had a meeting with our professor after he picked us and he told us he had a history of spotting future hits. We were like "hm... ok... let's give it a shot... we definitely got an A!" but at that point I was sort of skeptical if this would actually work in real-life (the basic idea was they would sell ads to local businesses and if you were nearby, you would get a text message with an offer).
But guess he was pretty right... we just needed to have Google or Facebook to have been our company... though Groupon or Yelp works too... basically a tech company with larger scale rather than a mobile carrier...1 -
I'm starting to gain a dislike for OOP.
I think classes make it easy for me to think of the entities of a problem and translate them into code.
But when you to attempt to test classes, that's when shit hits the fan.
In my opinion, it is pointless to test classes. If you ever seen test code for a class, you'll notice that it's usually horrible and long.
The reason for this is that usually some methods depend on other methods to be called first.
This results in the usual monolithic test that calls every goddamn method on the class.
You might say "ok, break the test into smaller parts". Ok. But the result of that attempt is even worse, because you end up with several big tests cases and a lot of duplicate code, because of the dependency of some methods on others.
The real solution to this is to make the classes be just glue: they should delegate arguments onto functions that reside on its own file, and, maybe afterwards emit events if you are using events.
But they shouldn't have too much test code classes though. The test code for classes should be running a simple example flow, but never doing any assertions other than expecting no exceptions.
For the most part, you'd be relying on the unit testing that is done for each delegated function.
If you take any single function you'll see that it's extremely easy to write tests for it. In fact, you can have the test right next to the fuction, like <module>.xyz <module>.test.xyz
So I don't think classes shouldn't be used at all, they should just be glue.
As you do normal usage of this software this way, when a bug is discovered you'll notice that the fix and testing code for this bug is very usually applied to the delegated functions instead of being a problem of classes.
I think classes by themselves sound sane in paper, but in practice they turn into a huge fucking messes that become impossible to understand or test.
How can something like traditional classes not get chaotic when a single class can have x attributes and y methods. The complexity grows exponentially. And sometimes more attributes and methods are added.
Someone might say "well, it's just the nature of problems. Problems can have a lot of variables".
Yeah, but cramming all of that complexity into a single 200 lines class is insanity.12 -
Hi devRant. Wanna rant with some shit about my company. First some good parts. I work in company with 600+ employees. It's one of the best companies in my region. They provide you with any kind of sweets(cookies, coffee, tea, etc), any hardware you need for your work (additional monitor, more ram, SSDs, processor, graphics card, whatever), just about everything you need to make your work faster/comfortable. Then, we have regular reviews (every 6 months), which rise salary from $0.75 to $1.5 per hour. (I live in poor country, where $15 per hour makes your more solvent then 70% of people, so having 100-200 bucks increase every half year is quite good rise).
The resulting increase of review depends on how team leader and project manager are satisfied with my work. And here starts the interesting (e.g. the shit comes in).
1) Seniority level in our company applies depending on the salary you have. That't right. It does not depend on your skill. Except the case when you're applying to vacancy. So if you tell that you're senior dev and prove it during interview, you'll have senior's salary. This is fine if you're just want money. But not if you love programming (as me) because of reasons bellow.
2) You don't need to have lots of programming experience to be a team leader. You can even be a junior team leader (but thanks god, on research projects only). You start from leading research projects and than move to billable if the director of research department is satisfied with your leading skills.
As a consequence our seniors are dumb AF. This pieces me off the most. Not all of them. A would say half of them are real pro guys, but the rest suck at programming (as for a senior). They are around junior/middle level.
I can understand if guy has $15 rate but still remains junior dev. That's fine. But hell no, he is treated as a middle, because his rate is $10+ now! And his mind has priority over middles and juniors. Not that junior have lof of good tougths but sometimes they do.
I'm lucky to work yet on small project so I'm the only dev, and so to speak TL for myself. But my colleague has this kind of senior team leader who is dumb AF. They work on ASP.NET Core project, the senior does not even know how to properly write generic constraints in C#. Seriously.
Just look at this shit. Instead of
MyClass<T> where T: class {}
he does this:
abstract class EnsureClass {}
MyClass<T> where T: EnsureClass {}
He writes empty abstract class, forces other classes to inherit it (thus, wasting the ability to inherit some useful class) just to ensure that generic T is a class. What thA FUCK is wrong with you dude?! You're a senior dev and you don't even know the language you're codding in.
And this shit is all over the company. Every monkey that had enough skill just to not be fired and enough patience to work 4-5 years becomes a senior! No-fucking-body cares and reviews your skill increase. The whole review is about department director asking TL and PM question like "how is this guy doing? is he OK or we should fire him?" That's the whole review. If TL does not like you, he can leave bad review and the company will set you on trial. If you confront TL during this period, pack your suitcase. Two cases of such shit I know personally. A good skilled guy could not just find common language with his TL and got fired. And the cherry on top of the case is that thay don't care about the fired dev's mind. They will only listen to reviewer. This is just absurd and just boils me down.
That's all i wanted to say. Thanks for your attention. -
Ok. I GIVE UP! ...for at least a couple hours...
I'm not a big believer in... well anything suitable to the literal definition of believe. But there's only so much 'wtf? How is this even possible?' and any answer u can come up with is nearly statistically impossible...
I am a neuro-atypical (and just extremely atypical even if i somehkw was neurotypical) being, based on logic, finely calculated statistical probability and the most raw data and as unbiased as realistically possible, algorithms and interpretation (usually recursive pattern recognition with several highly detailed historical sources.
...but at some point statistical improbability and a collation of separate, yet relatively closely occuring events/circumstances makes logic, itself a primary suspect of corruption.
What was the breaking point that caused me to (temporarily) give up and tell logic to f off for a bit cuz maybe the illogical and mythical is the real logic, leaving me in a losing battle with 'the' fates?
Trying to get all my sourcing/purchase orders in/paid for/on the literal boats b4 end of the workday/week in china...
1st, had to drop a supplier cuz they have limited reps. When the one ive had 7+ years left, i got the aloof blonde girl societal trope of a rep... who for the 2nd time (despite the several very blunt complaints above her, incl me) she sent out a promotional update to the entire client list (ie, inherently competitors) as CC not BCC... over 200 business email accounts with tailored info of their sourcing.
2- totally diff company/ industry a former rep i was glad be rid of apparently just sfarted back for "awhile" as i needrf to restock/scale...apparently she forgot everything we discussed at length... lke if you want a chance on my business im not gonna be wasting time looking through your gui "mini store to then inquire about everything individually insead of a simple spreadsheet(which i print and put in a 3-ring binder rotating current catalogues in the same format i require everywhere)
3.dog was an ahole, my packed schedule got delayed and morphed.. a bunch of little bs thatd normally have no extra thought impact, hyperfocused forgetting one of my alarms til i realised my idiopathic fever was back and i didnt take/apply meds (pain/muscle relaxers mainly so despite this odd free time and needing to shower. I gotta sit on my rear, leg elevated/non-productive far 40min b4 i can shower (as functional legs and lack of syncope is almost a req to shower)
4. A new-ish rep of a company/factory i like/respect enough to not mention in relation... he makes invoice 1.. slight error thst was easily resolved...#2 was flawless... he goes to officially generate the contract(alibaba... verrrry simple with lots of extra explanation buttons). Price and all items match, its near workweek end so i was waiting for it so i could quickly pay/have it on the boat b4 it left and few fdav days are behind...
I put in card info, get to the 2 cbeck boxes (imo should be only 1 but whatever) asking if billing address is same ss delivery(its always default yes)... then i see a few lines in chinese (i can read enough for business negotiations... typical words/sentences innately look different than things like individual letters/address and postal indicators.) After a few loops of double checking, mentally trying to dismiss my i Intial judgement cuz it'd be too ridiculous... even resorted to google .... nope... initial wtf was spot on... recipient name/address was indeed the company(multi factory producer)i was purchasing a wholesale, via sea freight, bulk of products from.
Im pretty sure the system would've flagged it as an invalid contract within an hr... but seriously... ive been handling alibaba (and other) international sourcing since before high school(mainly small businesses i made sites/little tools for that found anything with a light up screen intimidating) and a purchase then shipment to the originating company/factory actually entered into a contract(the form is sooo simple)... im faced with ridiculously improbable obstacles actually existing and changing in such nonsensical statistically improbable ways so often that 1. I wouldn't trust a dr (or most humans) that didnt 1st assume i was crazy of some form...unfortunately im not, despite hkw much simpler and probable itd be 2. Id be super suspicious/converned if statistic norms were my norm for over a day.
But seriously wtf???
Someone give me some wisps of a frame of ref here... where's a typical 'fuck this, im out!' Breaking point?1 -
OK, you sick fucks, tell me what WordPress plugin I should make next.
Rules: it needs to be a single-task kind of thing, because I want it done in less than a week and preferably under 200 loc because I have a life, so no gravity forms clones or ACF Better. Don't ask for me to do your homework either, asshole, so if you're suspiciously specific I'll set my dragons on you. Bonus points for weird and pointless.
I just released a plugin that accesses Fuck Off As A Service (www.foaas.com) through shortcodes, so hopefully that gives you an idea of the sort of attitude I approach this project with.
OK, go!15