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Search - "grin"
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Secretary of the IT department stated in a meeting that she was "overqualified to babysit a group of 40 grown-ass men who are unable to communicate with each other"
... all devs had a huge grin on their faces because we knew that she was absolutely right, management was furious 😂
She submitted her resignation on the same day, best secretary we've ever had!1 -
New kid came to me in my break (while I was playing LoL) saying I should start coding (he had no clue what my role within the company is).
Said that if I won't get a career in league, I could just (as if it's done in a few minutes) learn coding and make a website with thousands of users (as if that is just done like 1 2 3).
Then with a big grin on his face he proceeded to say "if you ever have some issues with making websites, I could just come to him and he can teach me the basics of Javascript, HTML, CSS and PHP".
So I said: "and who are you?"
He told me his name and what he is going to do within the company.
So I said with a big grin on my face: "Ah, so you're the new kid the boss told me about, nice to meet you, from today on, I'll be your Senior."
I then saw his big grin disappear
then with a big smile on my face I proceeded to say: "If you ever have some issues, please come to see me and I'll be happy to teach you the basics of Javascript, HTML, PHP and CSS"
Then he walked away :^)26 -
We have a bunch of white people in human resources that are trying to hire "diverse" people because the company sets HR diversity targets. Which is an inherently racist way of hiring someone.
I am told to interview this guy who claims to have Angular experience. Before the interview I ask to see a form that he has built in Angular. He sends me a repo which is ripped off of an open source project and has the readme and git commits removed. A quick web search shows that it isn't his work. He shows up to the interview and I find out he is from a Southern African country. I deliberately ask some questions about code that I can see he didn't write that I prepared ahead of time. He lies to me and tells me all about how he wrote it which showed me that he has no idea what the code does. I tell HR they better not hire him because he was very comfortable lying to me, and I'm confident that he doesn't understand any of the code that he showed me. I do not trust this guy and would never choose to work with him. HR lady says "Ah okay."
Today he walks in with a big grin on his face. HR lady fucking hired this guy. I can see his monitors from my desk and he spent his whole first day looking at a soccer website on his second monitor. I call up HR, "Why would you even ask me to interview him if you refuse to listen to my feedback?". Lady tells me "You need to be open minded about diversity. Probably most of the things you observed were either cultural differences or language barrier." I tell her definitely not. He lied to me multiple times, and he took credit for other people's work." She tells me that they will keep an eye on me because I'm not being open to diversity.
Are you kidding me? This white lady is literally stereotyping me as a racist because I'm white.
So this fucking HR lady called me a racist because she decided to hire someone that we shouldn't trust. Then she put this asshat on my project. Now I have to be cautious about my position because HR is "watching" my racist ass. Even though I am literally the only one on the development team that is white and speaks English as my first-language. I called a team meeting before the on-boarding is over so I can tell the other developers what is happening. We restructured our code review process so that I will never give him feedback. Then when the time comes that he slips up the "diverse" developers will kick him out so I won't be reprimanded as a "racist".
This company that I work for is a special kind of stupid.34 -
FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me28
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> Woke up at 03:30 because I am on call and a server went down
> Fixed shit and went to bed
> could not sleep,
> fuck it, drive to work.
> arrive at the office at 04:30
> I can scream stupid shit and noone would hear
> *grin*5 -
Today is my last day at this job.
Can't tell you how happy I am to be leaving this place in about 7 hours.
Starting my new job in January, so I get 4 weeks of nice vacation/ family time.8 -
I hope you will forgive me for a third hand story, but I'm one of those evil developers, not a support per se. But I thought you'd enjoy this story anyway. So this happened to a colleague of a colleague:
$Hero - our hero. $Cop - A representative of our hard worked law enforcement agency.
So $Hero is happily speeding along in his car, running a few yellow lights a bit late, etc. Finally, the law catches up to him and pulls him over. Here's how the conversation went:
$Cop: Can I see your driving license, please?
$Hero (with smug grin): Certainly. Here it is, officer.
$Cop takes license back to motorcycle and speaks into radio.
$Hero: It's not going to help you any, though.
$Cop (with no reaction): What do you mean?
$Hero (with wider grin): The server you have to check it against is down.
$Cop (still no reaction): And why do you say that?
$Hero: Because I'm the guy they called to get on site and get it up again.
Our hero did not get a fine this time. Instead he got a police escort to his workplace.
Source: reddit r/talesfromtechsupport3 -
A few years back we hired a new guy for our sales department. He worked with us for less than a week and seemed pretty normal.
Until one day he came into my office sat reeeeally close to me and actually whispered into my ear: "last night around midnight i was a bit hungry so i got up and fried some sausages".
Then he looked at me with the weirdest grin ever and just sat there for like 15 seconds not moving a muscle.
😳9 -
Girlfriend (she has little idea of tech) was asking if I could fix her notebooks wifi.
I didn't answer that for a week.
Yesterday she really needed wifi, so she went to google and followed several posts - until she managed find the problem and to reinstall her wifi driver for the first time! She was so proud of herself.
I hope I'll never forget that grin of her - full of triumph!
I couldn't be more proud of her myself9 -
Found this on discord.
Could be copypasta but I decided to share it anyway.
"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux."
The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows was compiled with gcc, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even you were correct, you wont be for long."
With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.14 -
For years I've had this friend, since high school, and now we are 21. Our paths had always been different, i decided to go to a technical high school that provides more specialized education (around IT in this case) and he went to a normal high school that provides a more wide range of knowledge and barely anything related to what we both wanted to study. Different tastes for different people huh? Well sure but during that time he was being snobbish towards me because normal high schools are considered more prestigious, or rather, technical high schools are infamous for attracting lazy students or students that don't wanna move up to a university.
We fought a few times over this, sometimes even stopped talking for long periods of time but we always got back together. A few years later, after our university entry exams I joined what roughly translates to technical university, its just more focused on practical IT stuff with a lot of lab courses every semester. He joined a more academically inclined one that is half economics and half IT (applied informatics). And now he has another thing to be snobbish about since the relation between the 2 unis is similar to that between the high schools but I don't care anymore, I don't feel like im missing out on anything with my choices.
3 days ago he called me on discord to check his python script and why it wasn't working. Good Odin that piece of code was worse that anything I've seen. Littered with global variables, inconsistent function and variable names, duplicate code, unused variables. I was honestly shocked and disappointed cos he always mentions different projects he is working on, an aspiring web developer.
I took those 300 hundred lines of atrocity and turned them into 80. But more importantly it was something that worked and did the damn job well. A thing of beauty.
I don't know if he was more surprised that i got it working or that it was so different from his initial "solution".
All of a sudden he is not so dismissive of me...
Fuck you for underestimating me and every choice I made to get here.
P.S. I kept his original code, always gives me a shit eating grin.12 -
So, I applied for a job lately and the first interview via Zoom went pretty good. Then I got an invitation for a second interview at the company.
I got there, was guided into a conference room and the two head of departments along with an HR woman joined. After a bit if chit-chat HR rep said I should tell them in the next couple of days if I'm still interested. HR left, the other two gave me a tour of the complex, lasting about an hour.
then we got back to the conference room, waited for HR rep and when she arrived she told me something along the lines of "Yeah, we got an impression of you now and you don't need to contact us anymore if your are interested...."
me to myself: "wait what? that sucks...."
HR: "We are impressed enough of you that we want to hire you immediately. Here is the contract!"
me (completely speechless): "oh... OH... THANKS, but... OHHHH" (having a stupid perplexed grin on my face)
I mean... I got the job and pay is good, but PLEASE don't trick me like that!!! I nearly got a heart attack!!!7 -
So this happened about a year ago. I was going bowling with some friends that day. My brother was invited, but he needed to finish a couple of programs for a MATLAB class.
So I drive my friends to the bowling place, then head to where my bro is saying. Once there my brother starts going over the program, he tells me what it's supposed to do and such. I follow along and I'm thinking "yup, this makes sense". That's when he tells me "The logic is fine, but look at what happens when I run it".
The program works fine...
We just stare at the screen, then at each other. "Your welcome" I tell him with a grin.3 -
Racism is still a thing in Germany...
At 11 am, I parked my car in to the right parking lane. It didn't cross any line. A woman in her 50s had the door to my side open and still didn't decide to close it, when I was parking.
Anyways, I got ready to get out of the car. All of the sudden, she knocked on my door. I did open the window.
[Short break: S=She and M=Me]
*Dialogue starts here*
S: How dare you park here?! Over there *points to the next parking slots next to her car* is enough place for your car.
M: I am allowed to park here. Plus, I am not crossing your lane. Aside from that, your door was open. Close the door first (before you fucking yell at me, you bitch - I didn't say this tho.).
S *completely ignores what I just said and focuses on my first phrase*: Of course, you are allowed to park here. But you are also allowed to go back to Turkey! *goes back to her car*
M *completely shocked and thinks about what I have been doing wrong and how Turkey is even related to this parking situation*: FUCK OFF!
*notes her license plate*
*finally gets out of the car. locks it. walks slowly in front of her car, when she just wants to drive away from the parking slot just to annoy the shit out of her with a big ass grin in my face waving at her*36 -
!rant
Our lead dev in the company seems to be a smart guy who's sensitive about code quality and best practices. The current project I'm working on (I'm an intern) has really bad code quality but it's too big an application with a very important client so there's no scope of completely changing it. Today, he asked me to optimize some parts of the code and I happily sat down to do it. After a few hours of searching, profiling and debugging, I asked him about a particular recurring database query that seemed to be uneccesarilly strewn across the code.
Me: "I think it's copy pasted code from somewhere else. It's not very well done".
Lead Dev: "Yeah, the code may not the be really beautiful. It was done hurriedly by this certain inexperienced intern we had a few years back".
Me: "Oh, haha. That's bad".
Lead Dev: "Yeah, you know him. Have you heard of this guy called *mentions his own name with a grin*?"
Me: ...
Lead Dev: "Yeah, I didn't know much then. The code's bad. Optimize it however you like. Just test it properly"
Me: respect++;2 -
A study needs to be done on the therapeutic effects of devRant. My gf tells me I grin like an idiot much more these days 😅4
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So I just had this job interview with a "startup" (side note: who the fuck still calls limping companies "startups" in 2024? That is sooooo 2010s).
There was this tattooed and very pale girl (you just know the vibe), the mandatory Norse bearded tall guy and the balding, "I'm-in-my-fifties-but-I-am-not-a-square, maaan" sleasy-looking white guy in a button up shirt but no suit jacket. The whole stereotypes gang came looking for their missing nerdy Indian.
The sleasy bloke goes on and on on a looong tirade on how they're "a tech innovation academy", how they "move fast and break things" and they "run smoking hot", so that "long nights are to be expected".
So, they usual red-flagging shit.
Then they all went on a "but we're not like all those companies that look exactly like us" word salad about "sustainability and a healthy work life balance", with their "highest value" being "the utmost respect at all times". I'm nodding my head at the meaningless splurge until they fart out the sentence "for example, cussing while talking with colleagues is a fireable offence".
If some hustling enterprise rather prefers a posh working environment, one can adapt to such circumstances. Provided, of course, that said enterprise adheres to the administrative coherence expected from a culturally refined institution. Mostly by compliance, from the leadership, to a rigidly predictable working schedule.
Now, if the bloody curs want coder dogs that work assfucking hours with a shit eating grin, they better swallow our fucking sailor mouths. Fuck, I've done twenty hour shifts getting my ass kicked in dark startup fisting/rush rooms. If unable to yell at any blabbering cocksucker to go stick his fucking opinions up the bitch who crapped him, then I ain't gonna bloody be there.
TL;DR they can either have a "utmost respect" working environment XOR a "fast and hot" daily hustle.
After they crapped out that oxymoron I could barely hold myself to avoid saying "sorry, I do not partake in any of the psychedelics you must be on".
On to the next interviews!9 -
Found out other team's project result about performance for uni assignment. It's that Matlab is the fastest, followed by python and C++ is the slowest.
They are gonna get roasted during presentation (by many people in the audience including me).
This is gonna be fun.
/*devilish grin*/22 -
So now that Covid is apparently "gone", management wants us to come to the office to participate in daily team building events to hype up people to commute full time...
but still gotta finish those milestone deliveries while having too many meetings and deadlines.
Murphy is watching us from above with a shit-eating grin. -
Y'all ever learn something and just kinda smile about it?
I finally got a decent understanding of lower level concurrency control like mutexes and sephamores (I knew about atomicity before but never knew how it was implemented) and I just got this huge grin across my face.7 -
I'm really glad my parent knew the importance of computers. They bought my brother a PC in 2000 and we got the chance to learn a great deal of things. I remember those times with a grin on my face. Probably the happiest years of my life. :)3
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Surprisingly frequently in my city, a few weeks ago for example I was in the pub discussing reactjs with a friend of mine from uni and a random bloke cut in with "there was nothing wrong with jquery" (he had a massive grin on his face, so he knew what he said). Spent the rest of the night talking with him and his son who were both consultant developers.
Fun night 🤣 -
My failed interaction with a girl:
So I go to a convention at the university.
It's nice I'm having fun, I see a girl dressed as Hermione, she is cute so I go talk to her for a little we joke around I'm really starting to like her. Then I say bye and hang out with friends for the rest of the evening. I see her leaving so I run to her and after catching up to her I ask if I could have her phone number. She says yes and enters her number on my phone. I'm super happy. I excitedly wait for the next day's evening to message her. We message for a while the next day she messages good morning, so I think things are going well, she must like me too right ? I mean we glanced at each other at the convention, she gave me her phone number and messaged good morning so I'm pretty sure she does...
Turns out she doesn't, she says she thought I wanted to be friends...
WHAT ?! FRIENDS ?? Are you 12 ? What friend would run to you to get your phone number and after getting it there would be a stupid grin on his face ??? She looks at 9gag and doesn't know the most overly used meme of "friendzone" ? Unbelievable either she was screwing with me or she is just that socially dense. So after that I'm pretty mad but I don't say any mean things I just accept the fact like a gentleman and carry on with my life. But also feeling depressed after believing we actually had a connection. Ugh I guess back to the coal mines for me huh, stupid conventions 😒9 -
Project in college, many moons ago.
Team is building a robot for a project. Nothing too crazy, it does some simple tasks like walk along a path and shit.
3 weeks for the project. 3 team members.
The largest graded part of the project is the ability to follow a path based on vision.
The 3rd member INSISTS on doing that part, he says “I want to prove to the professor that I am the smartest in the class so he helps me get a work term.”
Of course, my other partner and I see this as the complete selfishness of a child who will never be employed anywhere worth talking about anyways. He is a big asshole about it and we end up giving in.
## Week 1
We get our parts done (working together the way a team would) without his help.
He struggles, hits walls, complains. You know, dumbass grown child stuff...
## Week 2
We offer to help since we are done. He refuses. The teacher sees all of this and doesn’t like it at all.
After class the 2 of us go to the teacher and let him in on the details. The guy insisted, he is struggling and will not take help etc.
Teacher goes and talks to him and tells him it is a team project for a reason and that we should be helping. He says yes.
Then he misses the rest of the classes that week and send an email saying...
“Since everyone decided to keep interrupting me and breaking my train of thought, I could not get anything done in class. Therefore I will be staying home to finish the project from there.”
And to top it off, he didn’t even take home the robot’s connectors he needed to do the damn thing. Haha.
## Week 3
We know he wasn’t going to get it done, so we approached the teacher. We make it clear that we have done all we can and that we are not ok with losing marks because of this.
Since we are both good students that he likes, he decides to give us an option.
You can take a 50% on his part even if he doesn’t get it done (for trying to help) or we can do it ourselves and he won’t get the marks if he doesn’t finish.
## Night before
We say fuck it and do the thing.
In fact, since we were learning Java at the time we decided to do it in Java. Our other prof sees us playing with robots and gets excited, he stays with us and suggest improvements.
In the end we rewrite all 3 robot functionalities in Java and hand in the project the next day.
## The day of
Partner 3 comes into class and says this...
“That walking path part is impossible, I didn’t get it done, but I bet nobody else did either. So at least we will get a 60% on the other 2 parts!” (With a big shit eating grin)
Prof calls our group up. We walk up and the prof looks at the 3rd guy and says.
“Since you have decided to do your part alone, we will have you present your part alone at the end of the groups”
He tries to say something but the prof cuts him off and tells him to sit down.
We show all of our code and the robot does everything perfectly.
Groups go by, now it’s that guys turn.
He says that the walking part was impossible but seems to realize right away that he just saw EVERY other group get it working.
The teacher ask him to stay after class.
## Result
We got a 98 (prof said he was hoping we would have done in VB like asked but he liked the result a lot).
Other guy gets a 5% for his non-working spaghetti code on 0s on the other 2 sections. He blames us, of course.
Bonus Content:
That same asshat above once said this to me...
“I don’t indent my code so that if I work for a company and no one else can understand the code then I am unfireable!”
Yes, he wrote all code like this...
const Example = () => {
Stuff
More stuff
For() {
Stuff
If() {
Stuff
}
}
}
Fuck that guy🖕🏽3 -
!Dev / story
My phone starts dying gently but surely. Since last week I cannot use my jack input anymore, and thus can't listen to music in the car. I also compose music, and was eager to listen to my latest production (for reviewing purposes) in the car. In my frustrated search for a spare device with a jack, I found a pile of blank CDs instead. "Aw yiss, I can haz music in my car" I thought with a huge relieved grin.
I grabbed a CD, looked at my pc, and my grin faded instantly to an "oh" of disappointment: I deliberately did not install a CD drive in my computer.
Not losing hope, I grabbed my Mac and tried inserting my blank disk in the drive. "Clunk, clunk", the cd won't go in. "Ah silly me, I replaced that drive with a SSD". So I went looking for that spare cd drive.
After I found it, its SATA power interface was smaller than regular SATA devices, and any connectors I tried were too big. "Hmpf, ok, I'm desperate, let's remove that SSD in my Mac". So I went grabbing some screwdrivers, removed the cover lid underneath the computer, and removed two screws from the SSD casing, allowing me to lift the unit up, disconnect the cable, plug in the cd drive, flip the Mac carefully, turn it on... And burn my CDs, and finally I resetted everything back to normal, carefully removing the cd drive and closing the computer.
What one doesn't do in frustration...2 -
Sorry, is TL, but humbly think is worth to read.
Last Friday:
Coworker: Hey, our mail is being redirected to our client's spam folder. What did you do?
Me: Sorry, but I have no control over that.
Boss: I happened to me also. Something is wrong with our mail server.
Me: I'll check, but this is really out of my control.
Rushed to my station... domain blacklist check...Fuuuuuuuu! We been blacklisted! What in the fucking damn hell happened?????!!!
Mail server log check....Mmmm...WTF is this shit?
Devilish grin in my face....muahahahaaa! Your ass is MINE!
So, my "I know everything" new coworker ( https://www.devrant.io/rants/193238 ) used his account to send over 6300 messages a couple of times over a period of 4 hours. By our boss request we have no limit on our servers...
Gotcha! I'm going to get your ass fired!
(BTW: The pic is Gotcha the Cockatoo)4 -
Fuck-a-doodle-do Fuck Fuck Fuck what a fucking dipshit. Scared the god damn shit out of me.
So I am deep in code, listening to my music pounding out some code and Drupal configurations and I feel a shadowy draft over my right side like someone is watching me.
I work with a guy that will not for the fucking life of me use Slack to send me a message when I have my headphones on or at all for that matter.
He gets up and walks to my cubicle and just stares with a goofy fucking grin on his face. You know the one. LIke a retarded fucking dog eating shit out of a wire brush. Yeah that's the grin. Silently derping with his fucking derp ass Derp McDerpington face waiting on you to turn around an notice him there instead of knocking on the cubicle wall or waving to get your attention.
The FUCK dude? CreepyPasta2 -
Happy Story,
Today I got a slack message from someone saying that she now reports to me. I had a big grin on my face. I have just been working at this company for 4 months. I hope I do well. -
An army general is newly stationed in a desert post. On his first day, he calls for a soldier to show him around. While doing this, he notices a camel randomly tied to a tent.
He asks the soldier, “Soldier, why is that camel tied to the tent?”
The soldier looks awkward and answers, “Er, well Sir, as you know there are no women on the base so er, the camel is there for when the men get certain…um…urges”
The general nods in understanding And says, “Well I don’t condone this behaviour, but I suppose I understand”
A few weeks into the post, the general starts feelings these urges himself. He calls for the soldier to bring the camel to his tent. He then goes outside, gets a stool, and has wild animal sex with the camel.
After he’s finished, he climbs confidently off of the stool and sees the soldier staring at him, wide-eyed.
“So” the general says with a grin, “Is that how you boys do it here?”
The soldier answers, still wide-eyed, “No Sir, we usually just ride the camel into the nearby town where the women are”2 -
Currently working on an inventory system. I have main, Side, local and premium items. And I also have inventory slot lists for each type. My Lists are called:
MainSlots
SideSlots
LocalSlots
PremiumSlots.
I grin everytime I type it out...4 -
*sends email to ops manager to explain nuget & git (yes, he is THAT guy)
*his reply "what's nuget?"
Ooooooooh! Why don't you open Google and do a fucking search you amazingly stupid twat!!! In what fucking era do you live in? What the fuck are you doing at work everyday, besides complaining about how time consuming your useless mundane tasks are? Take some of your undeserved salary and go educate yourself, you useless sack of shit! FUCK!
*meanwhile... Little grin on my face. *Shift+delete email.1 -
I'm so proud of myself : my first PHP's white screen of death.
Now about that Java application crash... which one ? Oh you just wait a bit. *mischievous grin* -
Worst: Spending a week in npm, node, react hell trying to triage a ReactNative iOS/Android app that even the OG dev couldn't fix and FAILING.
This is the only code in like 20 fuckin years that beat me.
Best: Watching the fall of western democracy with a giant shit eating "I told you so" grin.6 -
It seems like there is a whole another grade of fear — Basilisk grade. It’s impossible to experience it and walk away without serious consequences.
Imagine: I’m barely 20. It’s my first real, official, high-paying job. I’m already a team lead. A big Russian non-govt company with a blue logo. Huge new office in Moscow.
My “childhood” is officially over — I’m not playing around anymore. I’m an adult in every sense of the word.
Several weeks go by. Maybe even a month. Just a regular day at the office. I’m waiting for the coffee machine to heat up, and suddenly, it hits me. I’m here, at the office. Moscow, a city of 10 million people, is beautiful in the summer, yet I can’t just leave the office and go for a walk whenever I want to. When the day is over, it’s already evening, and I barely have time for myself. There are other people around me, with way higher positions, but their schedule is just the same as mine: nine-to-six. My adult life just started. I have forty years of this ahead of me. No matter the company, no matter the position: unless I’m the CEO, I’m doomed to get to work in the morning and go back home in the evening. And then I retire, old and not that beautiful anymore. And then that’s it.
I was never the same after that day. People are plotting my betrayal behind my back. They all act as one. Just out of my frame of view, their heads are turned to me, and they all look at me with the same devilish grin. There are no people — it’s all one huge shoggoth that lives under the office floor, and my colleagues are its ugly tentacles wrapped in human skin. I start missing deadlines. I become paranoid. Next thing I know, I’m at the psychiatrist’s office, being prescribed aripiprazol — a strong antipsychotic that is designed to literally make you slower. Anxiety worsens. I develop restless legs syndrome. I lose my ability to sleep. My intelligence is slipping away. I’m fired.
I have the return to Saint-Petersburg, cariprazine prescription that felt like lobotomy with extra steps, losing my ability to read, delirious manic episodes ahead of me.
It is only now that I kinda-sorta tuned my medication scheme in by going through countless psychiatrists of all sorts. But I sure as hell work at a place where I can do whatever I want if I meet deadlines.3 -
Am I the asshole?.
AITA for having a grin, when comes demo time and my stuff works flawlessly and every other monkey coder that I work with has his/her stuff pointed out as flawed for going all fast and furious?8 -
Im currently working on a game, response and feedback is much appreciated.
-- idea--
I'm looking at creatures that will grow when someone that has bad thoughts or intentions.
-- story 1--
This boy grows up in a village that to his surprise, there no other kids in his village. The kids were mutilated. No one knows what happened. The ones with bad thoughts or intention will always be able to see that monster. As the boy grows up, he commits sin that are rather grave and when he grew up to 40 yrs old, he was dangerous person due to his character. His parents only saw his bright side of him and is rather unaware of it.
One day while talking to his mother, he felt rather uneasy, and went to the toilet, as he came out, she was no longer there. Thinking that she must be busy with house chores, he decide to head to the kitchen. Only to be greeted by his mother back facing him. She turned around and gave a big grin on her face that were as long as from one ear to the other. She then grew into a monster. The end
--
The story lacks a lot parts which I need such as gameplay, dialogues, and story itself.
Should I end it as the guy gets murdered? Or let the player think? Or leave as it is?
It's a 2d game though.
Ideas, suggestion or freedback is great!2 -
Well fuck. I am experiencing over-engineering first hand.
I am the single dev responsible for developing a small feature but which is an identity to our whole product(feel free to guess it here). This is quite simple I thought, I can just modify the constants which are being used in the source code and I can finish it off in a week tops. I asked all the relevant teams over which this feature would have dependencies and they gave me a green signal. Setup Jenkins configuration and everything for this new feature. With a wide grin on my face, I sent out a pull request. Now the architect of our product declined the pr saying to change everything from the bottom up giving the reason that it would be configurable sometime later in the future. Now mind you, I get it if this feature could change over time and needs customability. But it has been the same since last seven years and would probably not change again for a couple of years ahead [you have to take my word for it.]. Its not that the guy is a douche or anything, he is one of the best dev I have ever personally came across and I highly respect and admire him. But there has to be a trade off between the effort you are putting in versus the benefit you get. Now I have to touch almost every file, super carefully look in the whole product if a bug creeps out from anywhere and change the existing code to a point where it doesn't even make sense to me anymore, and write tests ofcourse.
wubba lubba dub dub!2 -
Walking home from work gracefully,
minding my own business.
Swinging my umbrella gracefully,
With a slight crack of a grin on my face.
THEN THIS DUDE TRIES TO TAKE MY PHONE OUT OF MY POCKET! Non-gracefully!
Fuck poetic Justice, he ruined my happy thoughts,
I was planning an authentication decorator for a project am in love with
And the code was beautiful.
The phone fell on a wet footpath in the struggle,
Now my umbrella has mud on it!
So pissed!5 -
And so the land was finally rid of the years-long plague that had desolated a once great nation. The weary denizens let out a sigh of relief, thanking their lucky stars for this new-found peace. But it was only the beggining...
For although the enemy had been defeated, it's undoing was brought about by profane arcana of a much more insidious, dark nature. In saving themselves, the fools had in truth sold their very souls.
"Grandiose... " he muttered villanously between his teeth, fixed on a wolfish, most somber grin.
"Like lambs to the slaughter, my Lord" his assistant verbally circle-jackaloped him off, to great bottock-suckling effect.
"They will soon bow down to me... " so begat his five-hour-long expository monologue, a scheme only as devious as it was needlessly complex "and all the ass in the province shall be mine!!"
Indeed, all unfolded as it was foretold: unleashing the first spell of Mass Desacration would only lead to it being perfected, further corrupted, twisted, and molded into the girthiest, gnarled, grandemonic phallus of anal destruction, by which the souls of an entire people would be bound to the sexually distorted whims of an ancestral eldritch degenerate.
Once uppon a time, they were warned, but laughed at our harbinger -- and as penance, we abandoned them to their black fates. The extremity of the grave peril looming over their every orifice seemed a rather guffawable matter to them... and so was to us the brutal, inter-continental violation that swiftly befell theirs, most precious of human cavities.
Suffice to say, their anus shall never fully recover.
As for Wizard James, he was summarily executed via automobile-assisted castration, his jagged testicles mercilessly crushed under the weight of a thousand oxes. But that is a story for another day.11 -
Maybe not specifically "dev" but certainly a relatable rant to anyone here:
Moms small business gets "hacked," or standard spyware phone call from India let us save you for only $149 kind of crap. She obviously gets upset had a panic attack and thinks about all the sensitive shit on their network. Then, ONLY THEN, does she call me and the rest of the cavalry i.e. over payed and undermotivated IT guy to ask what's up why it happened and whose fault is it.
All is well, no ransom paid, no data lost or tangible damage done, but I am positive it will happen again, because it is impossible for people to internalize that they're the problem that money can't fix.
You clicked the unsolicited link. No amount of antivirus bloatware will ever be able to stop the monkey from trying to see what's in the box.
TheBut keep not paying me or people more qualified than me, and then scream and yell and pout when your shits gone and we can honestly say with a grin and a clean conscience that there is nothing we can do. -
My PC kept booting into linux cause i installed two OS's on my HDD. Long story short, had to remove the Linux (it was Kali) and i didnt know how. And so started the longest few hours of my life.
I deleted the linux partition feeling like some genius that could speak to computers. To my suprise the computer didnt speak back, i restarted it and the GRUB bootloader had this sheepish grin on its face like as if it was saying, "Not sure who's been speaking to you all this time, but i bet you can hear me now, hehehe". I went down the rabbit hole that we all know and love called the google search bar.
My computer could no longer boot into windows, and i started to question my very existence on this earth. Hours of using our modern day saviour, google of alphabet inc, i came to an eventual conclusion. Grabbed a 4GB flash, made it into a bootable device and said good riddance to bad rubbish.5 -
When ever I start working on a project of some kind I usually find myself cursing the code, cursing myself and asking why I couldn't just go into something easier. But without fail, every single time I get the project working for the first time, I have a massive grin on my face and feel like a child at an amusement park for the first time. All the bad feelings I had towards the code dissolves and makes me excited to keep moving forward.1