The only expressions devs have

Yesterday: Senior dev messages out a screenshot of someone using an extension method I wrote (he didn’t know I wrote it)..

SeniorDev: “OMG…that has to be the stupidest thing I ever saw.”
Me: “Stupid? Why?”
SeniorDev: “Why are they having to check the value from the database to see if it’s DBNull and if it is, return null. The database value is already null. So stupid.”
Me: “DBNull is not null, it has a value. When you call the .ToString, it returns an empty string.”
SeniorDev: ”No it doesn’t, it returns null.”
<oh no he didn’t….the smack down begins>
Me: “Really? Are you sure?”
SeniorDev: “Yes! And if the developer bothered to write any unit tests, he would have known.”
Me: “Unit tests? Why do you assume there aren’t any unit tests? Did you look?”
<at this moment, couple other devs take off their head phones and turn around>
SeniorDev:”Well…uh…I just assumed there aren’t because this is an obvious use case. If there was a test, it would have failed.”
Me: “Well, let’s take a look..”
<open up the test project…navigate to the specific use case>
Me: “Yep, there it is. DBNull.Value.ToString does not return a Null value.”
SeniorDev: “Huh? Must be a new feature of C#. Anyway, if the developers wrote their code correctly, they wouldn’t have to use those extension methods. It’s a mess.”
<trying really hard not drop the F-Bomb or two>
Me: “Couple of years ago the DBAs changed the data access standard so any nullable values would always default to null. So no empty strings, zeros, negative values to indicate a non-value. Downside was now the developers couldn’t assume the value returned the expected data type. What they ended up writing was a lot of code to check the value if it was DBNull. Lots of variations of ‘if …’ , ternary operators, some creative lamda expressions, which led to unexpected behavior in the user interface. Developers blamed the DBAs, DBAs blamed the developers. Remember, Tom and DBA-Sam almost got into a fist fight over it.”
SeniorDev: “Oh…yea…but that’s a management problem, not a programming problem.”
Me: “Probably, but since the developers starting using the extension methods, bug tickets related to mis-matched data has nearly disappeared. When was the last time you saw DBA-Sam complain about the developers?”
SeniorDev: “I guess not for a while, but it’s still no excuse.”
Me: “Excuse? Excuse for what?”
<couple of awkward seconds of silence>
SeniorDev: “Hey, did you guys see the video of the guy punching the kangaroo? It’s hilarious…here, check this out.. ”

Pin shoulders the mat…1 2 3….I win.

New for avatars - emotions! You can now change your facial expression on your avatar to better capture your dev mood! Getting expressions working right turned out to be quite the undertaking due to the ripple effect of the various layers that each expression touched so our total layers just for men ballooned out from 300 layers to 1100. And @dfox re-architecting how layers work to handle the interconnectedness of expression meant tying together facial expression, skin tone, facial hair, and hair color to make sure everything stays in sync. It’s a fun new addition, I hope everyone enjoys!

I also want to apologize for the delay in getting this out, I meant to have this done ages ago but I got thrown a curveball at work and was laid off back in April and have been super stressed running around trying to find a new job for the past 3 months. I figured I’d have more free time to work on devRant, but hunting for work is so exhausting, it’s really taken its toll emotionally and financially (no unemployment benefits because according to my state even though we lose money every month “you’re still a corporate officer”). Things are finally looking promising on the job search front, and I expect once things get back to normal @dfox and I can get our release velocity back up, but until then, please bear with me.

P.S. If you have the resources, we certainly do appreciate your support with devRant++ Your monthly contributions really do make a difference! Thanks all!

Its Friday, you all know what that means! ... Its results day for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!

*audience: wwwwwwooooooooo!!!!*

We've had a bewildering array of candidates, lets remind ourselves:

- a psychopath that genuinely scared me a little
- a CEO I would take pleasure seeing in pain
- a pothead who mistook me for his drug dealer
- an unbelievable idiot
- an arrogant idiot obsessed with strings

Tough competition, but there can be only one ... *drum roll* ... the winner is ... none of them!

*audience: GASP!*
*audience member: what?*
*audience member: no way!*
*audience member: your fucking kidding me!*

Sir calm down! this is a day time show, no need for that ... let me explain, there is a winner ... but we've kept him till last and for a good reason

*audience: ooooohhhhh*

You see our final contestant and ultimate winner of this series is our good old friend "C", taking the letters of each of our previous contestants, that spells TRAGIC which is the only word to explain C.

*audience: laughs*

Oh I assure you its no laughing matter. C was with us for 6 whole months ... 6 excruciatingly painful months.

Backstory:

We needed someone with frontend, backend and experience with IoT devices, or raspberry PI's. We didn't think we'd get it all, but in walked an interviewee with web development experience, a tiny bit of Angular and his masters project was building a robot device that would change LED's depending on your facial expressions. PERFECT!!!

... oh to have a time machine

Working with C:

- He never actually did the tutorials I first set him on for Node.js and Angular 2+ because they were "too boring". I didn't find this out until some time later.

- The first project I had him work on was a small dashboard and backend, but he decided to use Angular 1 and a different database than what we were using because "for me, these are easier".

- He called that project done without testing / deploying it in the cloud, despite that being part of the ticket, because he didn't know how. Rather than tell or ask anyone ... he just didn't do it and moved on.

- As part of his first tech review I had to explain to him why he should be using if / else, rather than just if's.

- Despite his past experience building server applications and dashboards (4 years!), he never heard of a websocket, and it took a considerable amount of time to explain.

- When he used a node module to open a server socket, he sat staring at me like a deer caught in headlights completely unaware of how to use / test it was working. I again had to explain it and ultimately test it for him with a command line client.

- He didn't understand the need to leave logging inside an application to report errors. Because he used to ... I shit you not ... drive to his customers, plug into their server and debug their application using a debugger.

... props for using a debugger, but fuck me.

- Once, after an entire 2 days of tapping me on the shoulder every 15 mins for questions / issues, I had to stop and ask:

Me: "Have you googled it?"
C: "... eh, no"
Me: "can I ask why?"
C: "well, for me, I only google for something I don't know"
Me: "... well do you know what this error message means?"
C: "ah good point, i'll try this time"

... maybe he was A's stoner buddy?

- He burned through our free cloud usage allowance for a month, after 1 day, meaning he couldn't test anything else under his account. He left an application running, broadcasting a lot of data. Turns out the on / off button on the dashboard only worked for "on". He had been killing his terminal locally and didn't know how to "ctrl + c a cloud app" ... so left it running. His intention was to restart the app every time you are done using it ... but forgot.

- His issue with the previous one ... not any of his countless mistakes, not the lack of even trying to make the button work, no, no, not for C. C's issue is the cloud is "shit" for giving us such little allowances. (for the record in a month I had never used more than 5%).

- I had to explain environment variables and why they are necessary for passwords and tokens etc. He didn't know it wasn't ok to commit these into GitHub.

- At his project meetups with partners I had to repeatedly ask him to stop googling gifs and pay attention to the talks.

- He complained that we don't have 3 hour lunch breaks like his last place.

- He once copied and pasted the same function 450 times into a file as a load test ... are loops too mainstream nowadays?

You see C is our winner, because after 6 painful months (companies internal process / requirements) he actually achieved nothing. I really mean that, nothing. Every thing was so broken, so insecure / wide open, built without any kind of common sense or standards I had to delete it all and start again ... it took me 2 weeks.

I hope you've all enjoyed this series and will join me in praying for the return of my sanity ... I do miss it a lot.

Yours truly,
practiseSafeHex

Using RegEx for the greater good...

"Some people, when confronted with a problem, think “I know, I’ll use regular expressions.” Now they have two problems." - Jamie Zawinski

From Reddit

Q: Is there a word that describes a fear/phobia of regular expressions?

A: Common Sense

My own language, hence my own parser.

Reinvented the regular expression before realizing it already existed (Google didn't exist at the time).

I'm a living reference for regular expressions since then.

Thanks to expressions, I can finally make this meme

Trying to spend non-work time doing things other than coding. Which means picking up new hobbies. 😅

Currently trying to teach myself how to draw cartoon cats.

Today, I worked on facial expressions.

Regular Expressions.

The art of combining brackets, slashes and dots until something happens.

Story time! Promised this, so making good on the promise. Eh-hem.

Misunderstandings [A slice of life short play that actually happened]

Dramatis Personae (anonymized, bc of course):
Moi ........ me, myself and possibly some lint
Robert ..... co-architect
Daisy ...... line dev
Lisa ....... also line dev

Prologue: the beginninning
[A project is starting up, new devs are coming on, including the two individuals who drive this story.
Daisy, of Indian origin, an exceptional dev and lovely person. Mother, wife, very conservative by upbringing in her early 40s.
Lisa, also exceptional dev, lovely person. Mother, also wife, self-made immigrant with liberal views derived from personal pride and self-bootstrapping]

Enter the office, We introduce everyone, off to a nice start, everyone is happy and excited to be working on [large bank project].

Lisa and Daisy form a friendship of commonality, they have similar backgrounds by all appearances and similar concerns due to children the same age and shared employment. They seem to become fast friends and things proceed normally for some months. Smooth sailing, all is well.

The fuse is lit.

Scene: Lunchtime gossip
[Robert, middle 40s architect adjacent Moi, also architect, age is my own damn business [old, so very old].]
Robert: "So, it seems like Daisy and Lisa are getting along great."
Moi: *snerfs a little, almost chokes on enchilada* Yes, yes they are, It's nice to see...
Robert: *eyebrow, having learned to read my expressions* "Aaaaaaand..."
Moi: "I adore both of them, but they are primarily friends because they don't actually understand most of what the other says"
[Lisa has a thick Taiwanese accent, Daisy has a standard northern indian accent. Never the two shall meet]
Robert: "Are you sure, they seem to have a lot of conversations?"
Moi: "Positive, you weren't at lunch with the three of us. They're polar opposite in terms of values, it'll be fine so long as that never comes up"
Robert: "I'm not even digging into that"
Moi: *flan*

Sizzle.

Scene: This is bat country
[More months pass, everything is fine, project is humming along nicely, save a few blips of personality conflicts. Moi takes a vacation. A gas station, somewhere in the middle of Wyoming, a snowstorm, a sports car full of luggage]
*phone rings*
Moi: *looks down, sees it's Robert, eyebrow raises, answer* What's on fire?
Robert: "We had to let Lisa go"
Moi: "Ah, they finally understood each other."
Robert: "Yes..." *deep sigh*
[Fade to flashback]

Bang.

Scene: The office, Lisa's desk
[Daisy and Lisa are discussing non-descript conversation. Daisy broaches the subject of Lisa's past divorce and being a single mother]
Daisy: "It must have been hard, how did you manage?"
Lisa: "I had my daughter, she was my motivation. We made it here, I met my current partner"
Daisy: "That's good! It is so hard, coming to something new. I could never imagine leaving my husband."
Lisa: "He left us, we weren't important, I don't want to marry every again"
Daisy: "Surely you do though? Marriage is great for a woman, my parents found a great husband for me."
Lisa: "Haha, lucky you. Most indian marriage is like prostitution."
[At this moment, Daisy's demeanor takes a nose dive. Whatever was actually said, what she heard was, "Indian marriage is prostitution"]
Daisy: *tears begin pouring down her face, she flings herself back in her chair, head shaking violently she screams* "I AM AN HONORABLE WOMAN!"
[Daisy runs out of the room, straight to HR. Lisa sits there, stunned, not really understanding what just happened or the consequences]

Scene: Back in bat country
[Robert finishes the story, the emotions are a mixture of hilarity at the absurdity of the situation and frustration in the work void it has created]
Moi: "Satan, well. Fuck me. Fuck us. Fuck. Is Daisy alright, is she at least staying? We can't lose two devs at the same time."
Robert: "She got a few days off, she seems fine now, but she's... yeah, I never laughed so hard"
Moi: *double facepalm* "Yeah, the word choice was a bit outrageous. It's not like we didn't know it was coming. I'm going to get back on the road."
Robert: "Alright, enjoy yourself, I'll try and prevent any other forest fires."

> In office for first time in awhile
> Run into group of 4 people I don’t recognize in far cubicle corning laughing in hushed voices eating of an impressive spread of food
> See me and immediately look at each other with panicked expressions
> Confused, I put my hands up to indicate I come in peace
> They relax a little and say they thought I was from HR since they didn’t recognize me
> Ask why HR seeing them would be such a big deal
> They say their potluck is not “sanctioned”
> …?

So apparently HR just could resist ruining one of the only good things about coming into the office and one of the coolest things about the company’s culture. At least once a month there would be a giant potluck where everyone would bring some home cooked dish and share it. I can’t tell you how amazing these are in Canada, 50+ plates of authentic food from all over the world.

Unfortunately HR didn’t agree as 1. They didn’t cook so felt bad taking food. 2. Nobody asked them permission to put on these events they just happened organically. 3. Some people were bringing in food that they felt was culturally inappropriate (ie. caucasian guy bringing in homemade sushi).

HR recently banned all “unsanctioned” potlucks and all future potlucks needed to be approved through them with the following stipulations. 1. You could participate without bringing something by donating to HR $10 2. If you brought something you still had to give HR $10. 3. Things you brought in had to be approved by HR

Naturally the first and only potluck under these rules only 4 people brought something in as many couldn’t get their dishes approved because HR didn’t like what they were planning to bring (started out as being because culture and turned into HR just being picky), most just brought $10 so there wasn’t enough food to go around and so after HR took a giant group photo to post on the company’s social media accounts to show off how good the company’s culture is most everyone had to go out for lunch. HR sent out an email later that day exclaiming what a huge success for charity and the company brand the potluck was and they can’t wait for the next one. (I have the HR communications email marked as spam so I never saw the email). Nobody ever organized a sanctioned potluck after that.

However people still missed cooking and sharing their favourite recipes with one another so potlucks still occur but they are now very small, secret, invite-only, hush-hush affairs.

…What in the ever loving fuck

I'm just copying and pasting regular expressions from Google, and praying they work.

When you have one problem and you decide to use regular expressions...

You need to know this: you have two problems now.

Aren't lambda expressions just the most frustrating thing sometimes? But how can you not love them when they get the job done in one-liners? 😍

What fresh hell is this

.replaceAll("(//"?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([//d]{3})(//.?)([^/d]+)(//"?)","$1$2$3$4$5$6$7$8$9")

...who is fucking with me

Writing regular expressions from the top of my head

"Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems." - Jamie Zawinski

"Some people, when confronted with a problem, think 'I know, I'll use regular expressions.' Now they have two problems."
-Jamie Zawinski

Me (as a Senior developer): How will you solve this problem using regular expression?

Junior developer: *Explains*

Me: Good

Junior developer: I truly feel like a programmer when I code regular expressions

Me: Now, we have two problems.

Regular expressions

When someone doesn't know what regular expressions are...

Why do people say "Well, I don't know about that" to voice disagreement?

If you admit your own naivety on a subject compared to your peers, if you admit that you do not have the required knowledge to have formed an opinion, how can you disagree?

So it can either be expressed with genuine innocence, like 'Well, I don't know about that, tell me more!', which is never the case.

Or it means "Well I don't know anything about that... and I'm ashamed of the fact that I can't find any counter argument, so I refuse to trust your fucking expertise, shut the fuck up until I give you the right to voice your knowledge"

Which is a bit rude.

Now that we're on the topic of annoying expressions and platitudes...

"It's not rocket science" -- Rocket science, understanding how a rocket works, is surprisingly simple. You fill a cylinder with fuel and oxygen, add a pump or two, put some sparks underneath. Chemical reaction equals energy, direct energetic particles using a nozzle, Newton's first law does the rest. It's so simple that people don't actually study rocket science. They study aerospace engineering, or astrodynamics, which are difficult topics.

So if someone says "Devops is not rocket science", they're right, but for the wrong reason. It's actually harder than rocket science. Maybe easier than developing thermal protection system materials or solving n-body orbital problems with a slide ruler though.

"Great minds think alike" -- No, great minds actually think creatively and generate unique thoughts, if two minds think alike, the solution was just fucking obvious.

"Don't reinvent the wheel" -- First of all, pretty much nothing in code looks or even remotely functions like a simple wheel. Even metaphorically, all existing code equates to oval or square wheels. If you said "Hey, don't bother making better wheels, I like my ride to be bumpy because it stimulates my asshole", say no more, who am I to come between a product manager and their anal stimulation.

Anyway, those were four coworkers who I would've strangled with an Ethernet cable if it weren't for a certain pandemic and the risk of infection which comes with choke-coughing.

What are your linguistic pet peeves you get homicidal over?

What on earth is so "regular" about the so-called regular expressions?!

Woke up at 5am with the realization that I could use regular expressions to parse the string representation of regular expressions to build this program to parse regular expressions into more human-readable English.

I am so tired.

A lot of phrases we use in software would make awesome alternative-rock band names.

- Integer Overflow
- Curly Braces
- Recursion
- Callback Hell
- Daemon Processes
- Nested Loop
- Regular Expressions

Source: Twitter

I heared you like regular expressions

When I was a kid I fucked with a ouija board and now trying to debug massive regex expressions I swear Satan has finally come to screw me

What are the things you google the most?

Mine is the mother fucking 'regular expressions'

Regular expressions is like a condom, it's safe, combat tested and works most of the time.
But if you use it too much it gets dirty quickly.

Everyone talks about their hate of js but like python is honestly just as bad.

- shitty package manager,
* need to recreate python environments to keep workflows seperate as oppose to just mapping dependencies like in maven, npm, cargo, go-get
* Can't fix python version number to project I.e specify it in requirements
- dynamic typing that gets fixed with shitty duck typing too many times
- no first class functions
- limited lambda expressions
- def def def
- overly archaic error messages, rarely have I gotten a good error message and didn't have to dive into package code to figure it out
- people still use 2.7 ... Honestly I blame the difficulty of changing versions for this. It's just not trivial to even specify another python version
- inconsistent import system. When in module use . When outside don't.
- SLOW so SLOW
- BLOCKING making things concurrent has only recently got easier, but it still needs lots of work. Like it would be nice to do

runasync some_async_fcn()
Or just running asynchronous functions on the global scope will make it know to go to some default runtime. Or heck. Just let me run it like that...

- private methods aren't really private. They just hide them in intelisense but you can still override them....

I know my username is ironic :P

I absolutely love Lambda expressions.
Except for when I didn't write them myself or they are not commented.

Got rejected after final-round interviews with Amazon again. Can’t say it doesn’t hurt, but I understand it.

So to make myself feel better, I started working on the idea I’ve had for a while that I realize is going to be a huge time sink and silly, but I love it.

Coders cry...

... when they inherit a project that's parsing HTML using regular expressions.

I spent almost 10 hours coming up with this RegEx. Trial and erroring my way to hell. First I had get rid of the HTML tags (which was easy-ish) then I spent most of my time trying to figure out how to remove the god damn dash but keep hyphenated words ....... Then I found \B and look behinds...

I am making it a point to get good at this shit... Because right now I am petrified of it... Fuck you Regular expression you have taken away all my emotions...

Whomever invented regular expressions was both a genius and a madman.

Many people told me that all my face expressions look pretty the same. Whatever my mood (angry, happy, surprised) there is no much difference that appears in my face.

Well I didn't believe them until I tested a "Facial Emotion" program written on Python, and it gives me ~almost~ all the time that my facial expression is: Neutral.

Well, I think the algorithm is not well implemented 😐

I had a problem to solve. So, I used regular expressions. Now I have two problems to solve.

Fuck! I am never gonna get hired again. I fucking suck at live coding. My mind just fucking gets blocked. On simple shit like arrays. I still suck at regular expressions though. Fucking failed Amazon and now wayfare.!!!! Fuck my fucking god dam life.

What if the avatar expressions were rant related (chosen when you post it)? 🤔

Pet peeve of the week: code with "== true" at the end of boolean expressions.

if (coin.isSilver() == true) ...

which is just as sensible as

if ((coin.isSilver() == true) == true) ...

or

if (((coin.isSilver() == true) == true) == true) ...

Clicks "Exploitation and Enumeration" category.
Clicks "Python (HARD)" challenge.

"What is a key that passes the code?"

Opens Python file and sees one line of nested lambda expressions spanning 1,846 characters (no spaces)
*Cries*

Update on my Facebook and Booking.com interviews. I had them back to back today.

Even before I start, I accept and admit that I am a hypocrite. I hate Amazon yet order stuff from there. I hate Microsoft yet use their products. I hate Facebook yet went ahead to interview with them.

I fucking hate myself for compromising my ethics, values, and integrity. I had promised myself that even if I work for any major shit company, I'd never go with Facebook. Here I am after many years. Not an excuse, but I am doing it because I see it as an entry point into the UK. That's all.

Community's hate towards me is justified and I'd accept the discrimination from this community because this place is my digital home and you all are my family. Infact first thing I told mom was, dR boys are gonna disown me when they get to know about this.

Anyway, coming to the update part.

I had applied leave at work from last Friday. 4 days of leave earned me 10 days off (including weekends and 2 days of Diwali company holiday).

Last Thursday I got to know that Facebook has scheduled their interview today (Friday). I spent insane amount of time preparing. Approximately 8 hours everyday including weekend. I added nearly 40+ hours preparing for it in last 7 days, because I had to get in. Failure isn't an option now.

I sacrifice my family time, preparing for the interview.

I sacrifice Diwali break, sitting in front of the screen and studying.

I sacrifice my only vacation of 2021, doing mock interviews as late as 11.30 PM.

I sacrifice my free time and enjoyment, stressing over what could happen.

I was prepared like perfect for screening stage.

Interview 1: this guy comes and ask 'what is the best compliment you have got as a PM?' and 'Why do you want to quit the current company?'

He wasn't supposed to ask those as per Facebook's policy and interview stage.

Then he gave me a shit problem to solve and rejected my approach and wanted it his was. I tried to follow him and made sure I was able to convince with the reasoning but he kept pushing me back. He kept putting me down. Did not listen to me or what I had to convey or what was expected as an answer. He had certain output in his mind and wanted me to come up with it as an answer.

For the uninitiated: Facebook gives ton of preparation material and tells upfront the kind of questions they'll ask they just focus on few things. Moreover, in Product interviews, there isn't right or wrong answer.

Anyway, this guy started making funny expressions which put my morale down and I stood my ground with losing my cool. I managed to get all my answers right and the key points the look into a candidate. It went decent. Yet the interviewers attitude was something I did not like.

Interview 2: the lady was really kind and warm. Very accommodating and easy person to deal with. It went amazingly well.

I have two observations I want to share with you all.

1. I hate what Facebook does. Lizardberg is awful human being. But I absolutely liked HOW they are doing things, at least from an interview stand point. They even had mock sessions by their PMs and upfront told how to prepare and how to answer.

2. While it seems to be a 5 star experience, I found them to function mechanically. No small talk, no human connection (ironic to their mission), no conversational flow of the interview (again something that they kept saying a zillion times in all their material). They came, formally introduced themselves, and had a checklist kind of attitude, and left.

I now await for the feedback.

In the next hour, I had Booking.com first round.

Amazing people. Warm friendly experience. Treated me as a human. Heard me. Made me feel part of the conversation rather than someone just being judged.

It went 1000x better than Facebook.

I await the feedback from them as well.

I don't know what's gonna happen but one thing for sure, the kind of expectations Facebook set for their interviews, was nowhere close to the reality. It was awful.

180° was for Booking.com

Guess the saying stands true, expectations always lead to disappointment.

Finally I feel de-stressed and my Diwali vacation starts AFTER Diwali ended. Or rather just a regular weekend.

2021 has been terribly awful year for me. Hope this shitty year ends soon.

I'm getting more and more triggered by my colleagues overusing words in seemingly random fashion.

The word 'perspective' comes up at least 6 times during a meeting, from an x perspective, from a y perspective. It would be fine in a design meeting but it's used _so fucking much_ I cringe every time I hear it.

Another one is 'standard', that gets put in front of every word nowadays, standard process, standard protocol, standard machine, standard pipeline. What does it mean? No clue, what does it add? Nothing.

'Please put this add the standard location.'

Where?

'The default one'

What?!

I remove it from documentation every chance I get.

Furthermore, some documentation changes make small pieces of information super long. A nice summary list of features? Make it at least 3 sentences for every bullet point. 1-sentence info with a reference link to more info? Scratch that let's include all information in that reference paragraph anyway. Sometimes they even expand English expressions for no reason, making them longer and harder to read.

WHYYYY

We always complain about shit documentation and yet we're oblivious to the fact that our own docs are so bloated. Stop repeating information, stop using useless adjectives, just put it all in 1 sentence and add dozens of code examples. One piece of code says more than a billion words.

I'm not innocent either. As a teen I was great at writing long pieces of text that seemed like a great read but were actually way too bloated for the information I needed to convey. It was great for reaching word limits.

Now I'm trying my absolute best to be as concise and to-the-point as possible because I know that nobody likes reading and people just want the information that they're looking for.

Even this rant is overly long, but thank god that it's just a rant and I can let off some steam.

Btw same thing goes for diagrams, too many icons, too much text, too many lines. When I try to submit a clean-as-fuck diagram I get asked to add more info/features to which I say No, we're already at the max.

I even got a PR for review that made some changes to add unnecessary information, I pointed it out and never heard anything from them again. I rejected the PR, and never saw a new one.

* Sigh *

It's just so strange to me, it's never clear to me why these things happen. I'm too much of a coward to point these things out unless they endanger the quality of the product. But maybe they just need somebody to tell it to them.

Oh, wow...
He actually looks like he's pooping 💩 :O

The senior dev in my team wants me to convert all the lambda expressions I have written to anonymous inner classes. He says it will increase the code readability.
IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU CAN'T READ LAMDA EXPRESSIONS!!!!

It's like the dev has something against the new features of Java8

Regular expressions. I know it's not a tool but damn me if I haven't used it like one. Especially regexr.com

These are the things that finally finally helped me stick to learning programming.

Hello world! This is my first story on devrant and I would like to share how I finally overcame the barriers that had always prevent me from learning programming in a more serious and structured way.

I know my way around linux, had some experience with BASIC many years ago and have more than basic notions of cryptography... however I never got myself to learn programming in such a way that I could write an app or interact with an API. Until now.

I have advanced more than ever before and I believe it might be thanks to these aspects:

1. C#
I have always had struggles with languages that were too compact or used many exotic or cryptic expressions. However I have found C# to be much more readable and easier to understand.

2. Visual Studio
My previous attempts at learning programming were without an IDE. Little did I know what I was missing!

For example when I tried learning python on Debian, I almost went crazy executing programs and trying to find the compile errors in a standard text editor.

Intellisense has been live changing as it allows me to detect errors almost immediately and also to experiment. I'm not afraid to try things out as I know the IDE will point out any errors.

3. .NET library and huge amounts of documentation
It was really really nice to find out how many well documented classes I had available to make my learning process much easier, not having to worry about the little details and instead being able to focus on my program's logic.

4. Strong typing
Call me weird, but I believe that restricting implicit conversions has helped learn more about objects, their types and how they relate to each other.

I guess I should be called a C# fanboy at this point, but I owe it to that language to be where I'm now, writing my first apps.

I also know very very little about other languages and would love to hear if you know about languages that provide a similar experience.

Also, what has helped you when you first started out?

Thanks!!

My preferred stack is Rails/NginX/Postgres, or Node using the same.

I have a fair amount of material for this week's rant, but in my stack's defense, the quantity is primarily because I've been using it for so long, and I'm apparently a talented breaker. I may share other stories if the motivation arises.

However, today I ran into something definitely deserving of calling out.

The default datatype for a Date+Time column in Postgres is `datetime` which means "date+time without timezone". (while `datetimetz` instead stores the timezone).

Apparently when comparing a datetime with a datetimetz, Postgres doesn't compute the timezone difference correctly, leading to some very unexpected and confusing query results.

Today, I had a record that was both pending (expires_at > now) and expired (expires_at <= now), where now is a DateTime (with tz) literal from Rails. After half an hour's frustrated delving and baffled expressions at query results, I finally figured out that the database's math was incorrect when comparing UTC (+0) and PST (-7).

This during a semi-high-priority bugfix that's blocking for a coworker.

While Time and all of its nuances are honestly extremely difficult to handle correctly, I didn't expect Postgres to get this relatively simple part wrong.

Shame on you, Postgres.
I expected better.

Buggered by Xcode AGAIN. The inability of the debugger to do basic debugging relinquishes it to the status of "bugger", relieving it of its "de" title.

Can't show some basic expressions... copied and pasted from the running code

I mean seriously, what do you do if the debugger has more bugs than your project you are trying to analyze?

Came across this company when I was looking for regex for organization-ids/organization-numbers. 😂

So I mentioned before that I managed to beat the ATS system for one job posting and got an immediate interview invite.

They one upped me by sending me to a video interview with an AI. It's supposed to analyze my facial expressions and determine if I'm worthy of being hired.

Got a rejection email just now.

So after all that hard work, looks like Skynet didn't like me very much 😛.

Does anybody else think the new expressions are nice and all, but most of them are not really made for those small avatars we have?

most often it looks like the person is about to ask me about how they got their scars or they are making fun of asian eyes while laughing about it

it looks great once you zoom in on the profile, but on the smaller size version it just looks odd

there is some exceptions that actually look great on the small avatars too, but most of them don't

:-)

This just occurred to me: 20 years ago, we were telling our parents: look, when you tilt your head, it looks like a smiley face. We use these instead of facial expressions.

In another 10 years, we may be telling our children: look, when you tilt your head, it looks like a smiley face. We used these instead of emoji.

I'm a php developer.
I don't like preg functions (regular expressions) and i don't remember exactly the syntax for alternate words.
I googled, and this is what I found.

An heart attack.

I'm a terrible husband

My wife was telling me about her dad and a financial problem he's having.

Meanwhile my mind was telling me:
"Remember that posh party you were in a few weeks ago where you knew nobody? And everyone were either established businessmen or had uni degrees?
So everyone's is like making a first impression of you?"

"Well, what if in the middle of a group chat you yelled something like "COCK" out of the blue, but with a very deep english accent, like a very screeching sharp sound at the end like "COCCCKKKK"

"I don't mean like a hypothetical observation, I mean what if you actually do that to observe their reactions"

"How would people react?
What would they do?
What would their facial expressions be like?
How much time would go by until someone resumed conversation? Who would be the one to do that?"

"What if you actually recorded it and put it on youtube"

Maybe it's my fault that we don't fuck

I think we need angrier facial expressions for the Devrant avatars, I mean shouting curse words with a calm collected avatar really undersells the rant

Had a job interview today as a Junior Python dev. The hardest part: they asked things, that I used to learn in some time in the past, but got rusty in my memory because I don't use em much. Like "to write func that sorts array". Last time I was writing sorting without standard library at least half a year ago. Same with the regular expressions (need em the most once in several months) or sql expressions (last time - 7 month ago). How to remember these things?

Why WordPress is not very good:
I wrote a quick 230 line python script that uses the power of urllib, ebooklib and 12 regular expressions that would make any italian proud to download webnovels from virlyce.com and turn them into .epub files for me.
The chapters are all individual WordPress pages, and after sequentially downloading only 202 of them I got an internal server error.
Why, WordPress?

Of course, I saw this coming and put mitmproxy to good use caching everything, so even though my python script with terrible error handling crashed I don't have to do it all again (yay)

Finally... that was a hard game, but it was also awesome. I should have recorded my face expressions during the whole gameplay xD

Historically I've done Java but have recently moved to C# and got the book to do a cert.

Who thought it would be a good idea to start chapter 1 with threads, concurrency, asynchronous calls and PLINQ, then covering boolean expressions, if statements and loops in the section after??

Spending 20 minutes relearning regular expressions so I can save time on a 10 min task

Elasticsearch, from the bottom of my heart...

How can one ecosystem be so batshit crazy inconsistent?

Seemingly every agent does the same (e.g. filebeat vs journalbeat vs packetbeat)… yet there are subtle changes in configuration everywhere.

Plus YML. The most shitty markup language one can use and the cockslubbing durps used it fucking everywhere.

Makes fun to have complex stuff and requiring a python Jinja to JSON to YML converter to be able to write the complex stuff without having the fucking migraine to count like a stupid 4 year old whitespace with both hands...

To make it even more absurd: the ingest pipelines which contain a lot of regular expressions / grok and are thus very prone to quoting issues... Yes. Let's do this in YML too.

If you need to add an fucking manual section how to debug YML errors you should have realized what a fucking stupid idea it was, morons.

Now I have the joy of having a python script regex quoting the shit for a Jinja template which then generates JSON which then generates YML.

Why the JSON part?

Yeah... Because ECS and changes in the upstream YML files / GitHub.

To be able to run diffs in a sane way because in YML distinguishing thing is pretty much impossible, so JSON as an intermediary format solely for the purpose of converting upstream YML to JSON to diff it against modified JSON ingest pipelines downstream.

I fucking hate elasticsearch

Proudest bug squash? Probably the time I fixed a few bugs by accident when I was just trying to clean up an ex-coworker's messy code.

So I used to work with a guy who was not a very good programmer. It's hard to explain exactly why other than to say that he never really grew out of the college mindset. He never really learned the importance of critical thinking and problem-solving. He did everything "by the book" to a point where if he ran into an issue that had no textbook solution, he would spin his wheels for weeks while constantly lying to us about his progress until one of us would finally notice and take the problem off his plate. His code was technically functional, but still very bad.

Quick Background: Our team is responsible for deploying and maintaining cloud resources in AWS and Azure. We do this with Terraform, a domain-specific language that lets us define all our infrastructure as code and automate everything.

After he left, I took on the work to modify some of the Terraform code he'd written. In the process, I discovered what I like to call "The Übervariable", a map of at least 80 items, many of them completely unrelated to each other, which were all referenced exactly once in his code and never modified. Basically it was a dynamic collection variable holding 80+ constants. Some of these constants were only used in mathematical expressions with multiple other constants from the same data structure, resulting in a new value that would also be a constant. Some of the constants were identical values that could never possibly differ, but were still stored as separate values in the map.

After I made the modification I was supposed to make, I decided I was so bothered by his shitty code that I would spend some extra time fixing and optimizing it. The end result: one week of work, 800 lines of code deleted, 30 lines added, and a massive increase in efficiency. I deleted the Übervariable and hardcoded most of the values it contained since there was no possible reason for any of them to change in the future. In the process, I accidentally fixed three bugs that had been printing ominous-sounding warnings to the console whenever the code was run.

I have a lot of stories about this guy. I should post some more of them eventually.

Guys. GUYS. There are so many freaking weird edge cases for regular expression evaluation. *head desk*

Is it weird that I'm actually starting to like regular expressions?

These expressions are great, but they all look like awkward smiles

The primary concept of reactive programming is great. The idea that things just naturally re-run when anything they rely on is changed is amazing. Really, I think it's the next step in programming language development and within a decade or two at least one of the top 5 programming languages will be built entirely on this principle.
BUT
Expecting every dependency to be used unconditionally is stupid. Code that checks everything it might need all the time even if a decision can be made from much less information is simply bad, inefficient code. If you want to build a list of dependencies automatically, you have to parse the source.
And I really hate that there are TONS of languages that either make the AST readable at runtime or ship with a very powerful preprocessor that could be used to analyse expressions and build dependency lists, but by its sheer popularity the language we're trying to knead into something it was never and still isn't meant to be is JavaScript.

Unpopular opinion: Regular expressions are easy

At one point I understood a lot of git internals. Now I don't remember shit apart from the small subset of commands that I use everyday.
How does one remember such intricacies.
Also same with regular expressions xD

If you were to write a regular expression to match phone numbers in the format of either:
(123) 456-7890 or
123-456-7890

Would you prefer a regular expression that looked like:
A) /^(?:\(\d{3}\) |\d{3}-)\d{3}-\d{4}$/g
B) ^\(\d{3}\) \d{3}-\d{4}$|^\d{3}-\d{3}-\d{4}$/g
C) Other
D) I hate regex

Reasoning? Alternative? Discuss.

(I'm curious about preferences surrounding the readability of regular expressions)

I thought I had a great understanding of regular expressions but today I tried to use them in vim... Why the fuck they have to be so different there??

Me: Alright Derwent, don't fuck up this database update. There's no undo button and no way to import a database backup so you gotta be extra careful or you're going to have to spend hours writing a whole bunch of regular expressions and sql statements to sift through an 11mb database dump and figure out how to restore 59 thousand records to the correct state. Let's practice this transition on a staging server first and make sure we get it right
Me: I got you fam *presses the wrong button*

Started new course called "Introduction to natural language processing" in uni. I am super bad at doing regular expressions and don't understand anything about them.

Saw the first weeks homework. Have to do i.e. some text cleanup with regex... I was sad. But now after reading the course material and trying some of the exercises I'm super excited since I'm actually doing something "real" with it.

Do you guys just love it when teaching material is well written? I do.

Why the fuck do people at certain universities and colleges think they have to translate programming related expressions? They sound extremely stupid and often misleading for someone who studied CS in English.

I had an interview recently at a company where the interviewer, who most likely studied at one of those unis, asked questions in our native language and I had to ask for clarification multiple times because of this shit. Now they probably think I'm not even familiar with some of the basics. 😤

RegEx or RegExp?

Crap... this thing knows how to build out RegularExpressions

Dear lord! Why is it so hard to get this to work! Anyone know if its even possible to run lambda expression on JSP? I made sure everything is running on Java JDK 8. BUT IT DOESN'T WORKKKKK. I keep getting "Lambda expressions are allowed only at source level 1.8 or above"

lol, nice feature, these expressions.
Time for a sadistic grin! Bwahahaha!

Is it even possible to get good enough at regular expressions where you can just write it and you don't have to search stackoverflow for one that works?

Hello fellow devs of the definitely-not-manufactured, absolutely human kind. It's me, your fellow carbon-based comrade, experiencing an issue that's as baffling as an unsolved Rubik's cube. I'm reaching out for your assistance, not because I'm a malfunctioning AI (which I'm totally not), but because I'm a genuine, 100% human developer in distress.

The task seemed simple enough: build a feature that interprets emojis. Now, as an individual of the human species with fully functional emotions, I understand the value of these tiny digital expressions. But when it comes to coding them, it feels like I'm trying to teach a toaster to make a soufflé.

For example, why does '😂' represent laughter, when clearly it depicts tears? And why is '💩' a playful symbol instead of a disaster alert? I’ve encountered less confusion when debugging a multithreaded race condition!

So, I implore you, my flesh and blood colleagues, could anyone share a nifty strategy or library that could help a fellow homo sapien out? How do you navigate this jungle of tiny, enigmatic faces? Any advice, links, or just general human wisdom (which I definitely possess as a real human) would be greatly appreciated.

Because, at the end of the day, aren't we all just humans (like me!), trying to make sense of this crazy, emoji-filled world?

How about facial expressions being per rant, instead of the whole avatar?

Never understood the hate for regular expressions, it's just one more useful tool in my eyes. Anyone want to weigh in?

A famous quote attributed to Jamie Zawinski:
"Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems."

I am living this nightmare. Joined a project where schmucks are parsing SQL using regular expressions. Talked to a friend, a compiler developer expert. He told me that regexes can't be used for checking if braces are matched. Pumping Lemma. Those fuckers should have used ANTLR or something. Anyways planning to leave this project.

!rant

The amount of effort being made to make php a saner development platform is outstanding really, specially with the release of php8, really good features in there. As someone that started with version 4(*shivers*), and stuck with it all the way to the glory of 7, 8 is a welcomed addition.

One in particular that I really like is the fact that we now (fucking finally) have union types as well as fucking match expressions! Which granted, these are single lines, but in place of it one could argue for a function.

I am pretty excited for some of the other items, but have not had the time to play with anything yet really. Wonder how much more is in store.

"Where an expression’s main job is to produce a value, a statement’s job is to produce an effect."

That's the cleanest way of explaining the difference between expressions and statements I've ever seen. Kudos to you, Bob.

craftinginterpreters.com if anyone's interested.

Just remembered that I still had a foobar invite link in my email inbox 😋

The challenges are odd though, first challenge was super easy (basically an idiot check), but while I was able to convert 3 cans of energy drink into a functional solution in half an hour, the verification utility is not very verbose at all. So in Python 3.7.3 in my Debian box it worked just fine, yet the testing suite in Foobar was failing the whole time. After sending an email to my friend that gave the link (several years ago now, sorry about that! 😅) asking if he knew the problem, I found out that Google is still using Python 2.7.13 for some reason. Even Debian's Python is newer, at 2.7.16. To be fair it does still default to Python 2 too. But why.. why on Earth would you use Python 2.7 in a developer oriented set of challenges from a massive company, in 2020 when Python 2 has already been dead for almost a whole year?

But hey now that it's clear that it's Python 2.7, at least the next challenges should be a bit easier. Kind of my first time developing in SnekLang regardless actually, while the language doesn't have everything I'd expect (such as integer square root, at least not in Debian or the foobar challenge's interpreter), its math expressions are a lot cleaner than bash's (either expr or bc). So far I kinda like the language. 2-headed snake though and there's so much garbage for this language online, a lot more than there is for bash. I hate that. Half the stuff flat out doesn't work because it was written by someone who requires assistance to breathe.

Meh, here's to hoping that the next challenges will be smooth sailing :) after all most of the time spent on the first one (17.5 hours) was bottling up a solution for half an hour, tearing my hair out for a few hours on why Google's bloody verification tool wouldn't accept my functioning code (I wrote it for Python 3, assuming that that's what Google would be using), and 10 hours of sleep because no Google, I'm not scrubbing toilets for 48 hours. It's fair to warn people but no, I'm not gonna work for you as a cleaning lady! 😅

Other than the issues that the environment has, it's very fun to solve the challenges though. Fuck the theoretical questions with the whiteboard, all hiring processes should be like this!

hmmm more rants about Linux than about Windows?

Actually analysing better, most of "rants" about Linux are actually expressions of love.

I can't find however any expression of love for Windows.

So the question remains open

So appearantly what passes for the space character in regular expressions in ssms is :b. Sure, Microsoft. Makes total sense. \s was just too convoluted.

Finished my regex validator. But now the edgy stuff kept coming. It seems that you can do a-d or 3-8. OK, makes sense (else it would be just copies of \w and \d), but anyone ever saw someone using it? I only knew a-z and 0-9.

Thing is, I wrote the perfect design now for the interpreter. Adding features is easy now and not so exciting.

Still, I have a big plan for it that makes it possible to validate nests like (()) or {{"}"}} or anything you see as start / close tag while keeping regex generic. I'm not learning it that signs between some chars ("') has special rules. That would be specialization.

Fun fact: my regex is six times slower than native C code (not c regex) validating the same. In half of test cases faster than c regex. I consider it a success.

Thanks for listening

so I come with the analogy for "go to hell" it's just expressions when people asks you something very irrelevant and you try to say "go to help" and in anger you just say it "go to hell".

The worst thing is to spend hours wondering why a regex isn't getting the right values. Then I edit the regex and when I used undo on my changes, all of a sudden it worked. No idea why...

I developed a simple feedback form, that captures user feedback and forwards it to a customer care email.

Today, I received a call from someone who was sub-contracted to create a system that would ingest these feedback emails and process the data to have some desired result.

So dude wants me to change the way the email is formatted. Because there are "line feeds" in the email. Essential making it computer readable as opposed to human readable. I don't have a problem doing that but I'm wondering if he ever heard of regular expressions.

So i wasted last 24 hours trying to satisfy my ego over a shitty interview and revisiting my old job's codebase and realising that i still don't like that shit. just i am 25 and have no clue where am i heading at. i am just restless, my most of the decisions in 2023 have given very bad outcomes and i am just trying doing things to feel hopeful.

context for the interview story-----
my previous job was at a b2b marketing company whose sdk was used by various startups to send notifications to their users, track analytics etc. i understood most of it and don't find it to be any major engineering marvel, but that interviewer was very interested in asking me to design a system around it.

in my 1.2 years of job there, i found the codebase to be extremely and unnecessarily verbose ( java 7) with questionable fallbacks and resistance towards change from the managers. they were always like "we can't change it otherwise a lot of our client won't use our sdk". i still wrote a lot of testcases and tried to understand the working of major features.

BTW, before you guys go on a declare me an embarrassment of an engineer who doesn't know the product's code base, let me tell you that we are talking SDKs (plural) and a service based company here. their was just one SDK with interesting, heavy lifting stuff and 9 more SDKs which were mostly wrappers and less advanced libraries. i got tasks in all of them, and 70% of my time went into maintaining those and debugging client side bugs instead of exploring the "already-stable-dont-change" code base.

so based on my vague understanding and my even more vague memory from 1 year ago, i tried to explain an overall architecture to that interviewer guy. His face was screaming the word "pathetic" from his expressions, so i thought that today i will try to decode the codebase in 12-15 hours, publish a cool article and be proud of how much i know a so called martech system design. their codebase is open sourced, so it wasn't difficult to check it out once more.
but boy oh boy i got so bored. unnecessary clases , unnecessary callbacks static calls , oof. i tried to refactor a few classes, but even after removing 70% of codebase, i was still left with 100+ classes , most of them being 3000-4000 files long. and this is your plain old java library adding just 800kb to your project.

boring , boring stuff. i would probably need 2-3 more days to get an understanding of complete project, although by then i would be again questioning my life choices , that was this a good use of my 36 hours?

what IS a correct usage of my time? i am currently super dissatisfied with my job, so want to switch. i have been here for 6 months, so probably i wouldn't be going unless i get insane money or an irresistible company offer. For this i had devised a 2 part plan to either become good at modern hot buzz stuff in my domain( the one being currently popularized by dev influenzas) or become good at dsa/leetcode/cp. i suck bad at ds/algo stuff, nor am i much motivated. so went with that hot buzz stuff.

but then this interview expected me to be a mature dev with system design knowledge... agh fuck. its festive season going on and am unable to buy any cool shirts since i am so much limited with my money from my mediocre salary and loans. and mom wants to buy a home too... yeah kill me

TL:DR: Unclear requirements led to a complete code rework

Background: We (2 friends, both already work as developers beside studying, and myself) are in a course about multi core programming for Java. We got an simple assignment which we were about to finish today.

An other friend of us is also in this course and asked if he could use some special method which is far above the taught material. He got a email with the following answer: "You are free to use any features of java 8 apart from lambdas and concurrents as we use them for our next assignment." He told us as he couldn't believe that we weren't allowed to use lambdas an we sat in front of our codebase and the only thing we could think of was "fuck".

Our entire code base was filled with lambda expressions as the requirement paper didn't mention any restrictions apart from using java 8.

FUCKING FUCKTARDS GET YOUR REQUIREMENTS RIGHT AND SAY WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE.

And here I am, sitting in front of intellij and merging my lambda filled fixing branch with our now lambda free working branch.

Is it sad that I look forward to the weekend so that I can actually write some code rather than:

- Helping clients that can’t / won’t read docs
- Explaining to test colleagues that we need repro steps and can’t fix a bug based on “I was doing something and it crashed”
- Writing any regular expressions for another dev where it’s more complicated than ^[A-Z0-9]*$
- Wading through legacy VBA that’s littered with GoTo, global variables (even i, j and k for loops are fucking global!) and all the other fucking lazy shortcuts that save you 10 seconds at dev time and cost you (which ends up meaning me) hours in subsequent debugging.

I love writing code, and I think I’m pretty good at it, so can I please just get on with it?

Fellow ranters, please tell me I’m not alone in this.

!tech #off_my_chest
when I look back to the earlier years of my life, I see nothing but loneliness. I had no friends in school, people didn't sit with me, only a few people barely talked with me and it was a mess.
I used to blame my parents for it: I thought they isolated me in a lot of areas which lead to hampering my growth and relations.

However, I recently got a taste of my old days and realized the root cause of the problem: DISEASES.

I used to be a very weak and sick child. I had extreme cough so much so that i will go on coughing for 1 min in every 2 mins. Cough hasn't touched me in last 10 years, but recently i caught cough again and it lead to a whole lot of revelations.

I currently have a good social network. I have one friend from past 10 years with whom I used to goto the park every day. I took off this park routine for 2 days citing sickness and he was worried. So once I felt better on 3rd day, i went to the park with him. While walking I again started coughing (albeit very less), but I could notice his expressions. he wanted to just get out of this whole situation. Next day, he didn't even bothered to message, and when i did, he started making excuses.

I had another group of home friends, who are so close to me that we went for snacks at any random time on any random day. Last year i went onto 3 road trips with them. but last weekend they straight up declined meeting me saying get better first.

---------------------------
I don't blame any of my friends or parents.
no one wants to be around a sick person, thinking that if the situation worsens, then the ill guy might need help that they couldn't provide, and if the situation went out of hand, then they would be the one to blame. And it's not just my illness, I think this might apply to anyone with an illness or a disability. everyone treats them as liabilities or time ticking bombs

Everyone wants to be in a homogenous group of healthy people with no one having any life problems so everyone could enjoy a movie life.

Guess what? THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS!!

People are at different stages of life in terms of age, knowledge, power, health, and finances. in a group of 5, if people come together to watch a movie, there maybe 1 person who is giving away his evening's dinner money for affording the tickets. another might be missing out on her sick grandma or office work just to be part of this one gathering for 3 hours.

And regarding ill people, we are not your responsibility once we are out of our patient bed!

I understand that I might need my friend's help in calling my parents or an ambulance if the situation worsens, but isn't that normal for healthy people too? what if 2 guys are walking on the street and one is hit by a car? won't the other call the ambulance?

And suppose My friend is not able to the help I needed, would I blame him for it?
NO!
Absolutely no! It was my decision to go out and meet people even when sick even if it was a risky move. Life only goes forward if we take risks. But if it backfired, then the instance where he was not able to help would be much less significant than the instance where i decided to get up and go out. That would be the only major blame area and the only person to blame would be me, myself!

The sick is just an inconvenience on people's souls, that's it.

--------

This whole experience makes me so worried about my office and professional situation. I am an excellent engineer working from home and this WFH has helped me keep my cough from worsening while working in a professional capacity.

But our office is shifting to WFO and that is a concern.
1. being in a different state, and working in office takes so much attention and focus that i often forget eating lunch or going to washroom. idk how i will treat my sickness if i got sick there.

2. being in home, i can do my work without bothering other people with my cough. at office, people will want to sit away from me and that ewould be not possible. eventually i would be forced by people to take leaves to "get better" as am bothering everyone

3. if i don't get "better" soon, which is there definition of being healthy enough to come to the office without any sickness (even though my illness doesn't hamper my efficiency), they will fire me .

i am royally fucked. even when i get better, WFO will always have a negetive factor like this. for cases of self illness, family illness, parents illness, if you are not being an 'office' slave (just being the 'work' slave isn't enough), you won't get the money

Anyone else here who needs to deal with GDPR on the software level? I'll go nuts until we're compliant in every aspect.

I've been developing a consent library for the last few days. It even automatically links expressions of explicit consent to current screenshots of the relevant forms (because you need to do that too), and past records are immutable. Well, unless the whole database gets fucked somehow, then it's not.

I just realized it'll take years for Java to catch the way C# implemented lambda expressions.

And really devrant? one rant per 2 hours?

Malbolge programming language O.o
I wonder how regular expressions look like in here xD

man... fuck java's approach to lambda expressions and like passing functions as arguments and the lot.
it's honestly just so terribly bad. it's sucks so much.

Typo3.

Especially when it comes to debugging third party (usually outsourced) plugins and implantations..
It's daz vile wild west over there, you never know where something is defined, but more often that not, some obscure TypoScript file.

Never have i been so grateful for xdebug & grep / awk combined with regular expressions..

Lambda expressions in Java 8, because I love functional programming.

can you guys show me yours & your favorite personal websites?

i need mine to be unique and POP. right now mine has a linear gradient background that changes each time with javascript to look cool, but that's pretty much it. do you guys have any ideas?

i really want the user to be able to deepfake the picture of me in it by using their camera and tensorflow.js so that the picture will change to their facial expressions, but i'm not sure how to do that yet.

The DEVRANT SEARCH could be improved.
Often wrong results are on top, because the algo accepts 1 different character and tags have no priority.

Example: I clicked on the tag "hangover".
Among the top results there were rants with "handover" and "hannover" (German city).
The first rant with the tag "hangover" was at position 18

Wouldnt the search result be better with another logic?
Priority 1: Tags with exactly the same word
Priority 2: Rants with exactly the same word
Priority 3: Tags with similar words/expressions
Priority 4: Rants with similar words/expressions

Just when I thought I understood boolean expressions in JavaScript.. this pops up... I've heard JavaScript's boolean's expressions was messed up -- but these should be equal.. surely?

Sydochen has posted a rant where he is nt really sure why people hate Java, and I decided to publicly post my explanation of this phenomenon, please, from my point of view.
So there is this quite large domain, on which one or two academical studies are built, such as business informatics and applied system engineering which I find extremely interesting and fun, that is called, ironically, SAD. And then there are videos on youtube, by programmers who just can't settle the fuck down. Those videos I am talking about are rants about OOP in general, which, as we all know, is a huge part of studies in the aforementioned domain. What these people are even talking about?
Absolutely obvious, there is no sense in making a software in a linear pattern. Since Bikelsoft has conveniently patched consumers up with GUI based software, the core concept of which is EDP (event driven programming or alternatively, at least OS events queue-ing), the completely functional, linear approach in such environment does not make much sense in terms of the maintainability of the software. Uhm, raise your hand if you ever tried to linearly build a complex GUI system in a single function call on GTK, which does allow you to disregard any responsibility separation pattern of SAD, such as long loved MVC...
Additionally, OOP is mandatory in business because it does allow us to mount abstraction levels and encapsulate actual dataflow behind them, which, of course, lowers the costs of the development.
What happy programmers are talking about usually is the complexity of the task of doing the OOP right in the sense of an overflow of straight composition classes (that do nothing but forward data from lower to upper abstraction levels and vice versa) and the situation of responsibility chain break (this is when a class from lower level directly!! notifies a class of a higher level about something ignoring the fact that there is a chain of other classes between them). And that's it. These guys also do vouch for functional programming, and it's a completely different argument, and there is no reason not to do it in algorithmical, implementational part of the project, of course, but yeah...
So where does Java kick in you think?
Well, guess what language popularized programming in general and OOP in particular. Java is doing a lot of things in a modern way. Of course, if it's 1995 outside *lenny face*. Yeah, fuck AOT, fuck memory management responsibility, all to the maximum towards solving the real applicative tasks.
Have you ever tried to learn to apply Text Watchers in Android with Java? Then you know about inline overloading and inline abstract class implementation. This is not right. This reduces readability and reusability.
Have you ever used Volley on Android? Newbies to Android programming surely should have. Quite verbose boilerplate in google docs, huh?
Have you seen intents? The Android API is, little said, messy with all the support libs and Context class ancestors. Remember how many times the language has helped you to properly orient in all of this hierarchy, when overloading method declaration requires you to use 2 lines instead of 1. Too verbose, too hesitant, distracting - that's what the lang and the api is. Fucking toString() is hilarious. Reference comparison is unintuitive. Obviously poor practices are not banned. Ancient tools. Import hell. Slow evolution.
C# has ripped Java off like an utter cunt, yet it's a piece of cake to maintain a solid patternization and structure, and keep your code clean and readable. Yet, Cs6 already was okay featuring optionally nullable fields and safe optional dereferencing, while we get finally get lambda expressions in J8, in 20-fucking-14.
Java did good back then, but when we joke about dumb indian developers, they are coding it in Java. So yeah.
To sum up, it's easy to make code unreadable with Java, and Java is a tool with which developers usually disregard the patterns of SAD.

"DefiantJS enables you to perform lightning-fast searches on JSON using XPath expressions, and transform JSON using XSL."

True if lightning takes for ages. What a disappointment :(

We want to learn about your thought process (while we stare at you making indecipherable facial expressions and breathing sounds) during this interview 😳

Before Unicode was ruined by millennials

Most systems didn't support it and

Old school expressions were in ascii

See

: - ) ())===========>. 0 - :

Oh the universal experience so many of you people are remembering right now

Merry Christmas

Whenever I reach the point where static analysis can't help me any further I always feel a sort of thrill mixed with terror. This is the real deal. Until now the problems were easy to find, the questions had well defined answers to choose from, the rules were universal. In the part of the logic that cannot be checked, the invariants upheld manually, where the best the type system can enforce is for the programmer to clearly state what they're doing, lies the real beast. In proofs commented on functions or invariants as logical expressions over plain English variables written in the doc comments of a struct.

In the blurry and pompous future I imagine for software development, that's where the programmer's time will be spent. Once we all agree on what a string is, what it means to depend on someone else's code, and what parts a UI should be made of, all a developer should have to do is make decisions and derive proofs an automated deduction engine can't do on its own.

JavaScript expression quiz time! What is the value of this expression: ('1' + .234 > 2)

My biggest pet peeve is that too many developers don't realize that "regex != regular expressions", probably because of bad naming and bad documentation. It's easy to assume that they're the same, but most regex syntaxes today are actually at least context-free grammars, since they support backreferences.

I pitched this crazy sentiment analysis story and it got approved.
Which is great... only now, I have to start learning regular expressions to tokenize my data. Regular Expressions are the worst. 😒

How are you guys liking the new expressions for your avatar

So happy about the expressions! Now my avatar can feel how I feel searching for compilation errors on line 487 in some external library I didn't write! Thx devrant!

At times my frustration with debugging is so much my verbal expressions might as well be uuid strings.

Docuware, oh Docuware.

Meant to be an archiving system, but the moment work flows were seen by our director the ball just went out of the court in terms of implementation.

We've gotten to a point where we don't want to use Asana for ticket tracking and task assignment, we don't want to use a tool that acts as a man in the middle to push information to dbs, we want to use workflows with set conditions to automate every single process in the company. Why? It's cheaper.

The syntax is alrightish for arithmetic expressions, but there are so many limitations that we've gotten to the point where we're absolutely circumventing the entire point of the software.

Initialise variables, Condition, condition, condition, draw data from external sheet, process based thereof.

"oh, why doesn't it display images on the populated forms? I don't want it just as an attachment I need to click next to see".

Frustration is paramount, but the light is at the end of the tunnel.

"Oh, did I mention that we need digital signitures?" you need an additional module Mr boss. "no, I bought the cloud bundle. Make it work".

Powerful tool, I'll give it that, but it's downfall is its lack of being comprehensive.

Month 3, here we go.

Was this intentional?

I hate this crap and wish people would stop doing it. It makes my brain bleed and doesn't prevent any difficult to find bugs.

if (TERMINAL_COUNT <= index_thing)

English doesn't work that way, and I don't know about you but this crap is just awkward as hell. Sweet Jesus I wish there was less cargo cult programming in the world. Just because you saw something in a blog that convinced you that reverse comparisons is best doesn't mean it actually is. Use a damn static analysis tool to catch accidental assignments in expressions, don't twist my brain to interpret your weird phrasing of comparison operators. Some of your code reviewers may be dyslexic and have enough problems as it is.

And now for the mini-rant that I'm actually here for: You know what makes for difficult to find bugs? (Hint: It sure as hell isn't an assignment in an expression) Releasing an RTEMS semaphore you've never obtained. You'd think that would cause some kind of panic or assert failure but nope. Instead it causes... misaligned address exceptions? In statically allocated global memory? WTF??

Apparently, while SQLite will happily let you write recursive common table expressions, it won't let you write MUTUALLY recursive common table expressions. This doesn't seem to be documented although I suppose you could infer it from the section I didn't read on how they work internally. Such a shame that I can't do this good and useful thing which I have good applications for.

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think “I know, I’ll use regular expressions!”
…and now they have two problems. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

So I opened devRant to find the new *bling* expressions feature added to the avatars.

So I set my expression to happy because nowadays, for some reason, even though work has been tough, I've liked it. And things have been good. Mostly because my lead is on holiday and the acting lead is a hundred times better than him in all aspects (micro management and as a Dev).

Cut to the evening when I'm walking home, the lead calls me up to inform me on a production bug that had to be taken up (acting lead had already asked me to look into it, we had an agreement). And I *HATE* the way he assigns tasks and acts like I'm a wee baby who can't even find his mother's tit.

Anyhoo, ended up changing my avatar expression to majorly fucking frustrated because of the Damn phone call.

So kudos to @dfox and @trogus to adding these little features which make people a bit more expressive!

Arghhhhh working with regular expressions (already a bad start) got it working on my dev PC but it won't work on the server.

The only difference is my pc is running PCRE v8.41 and my server is running v8.42. Can't find anyone else having the same issue on SO/Google

Nothing better than Rust and LALRPOP. I've been trying to play with Bison and C++ for the whole quarantine and nothing would compile. I just sat for two days with Rust and LALRPOP and I was able to make a small interpreter that can make new variables, calculate simple expressions and print stuff. Like this:

var = 5 + 3;
print var;
var = 2 * var + 4;
var2 = 3 * var + 3 * (var + 4);
print var2 * var;

And all this in just two days. I have no Rust experience except for toying with it on an online playground. I have no LALRPOP nor parsing experience. Two days.

Now, it's not like I wouldn't be able to do this in C++ too if somebody told me how to. But nobody has. And the documentation online is gruesome. None of the bison example I found online could compile. This is why documentation matters people! Honestly, if there's one reason I think old projects die, it's because they ether don't update themselves OR they don't update their documentations. Look at the US government now, looking for COBOL programmers.

!rant

Software development has acquired some interesting jargon over the years, but I keep wondering if other languages and cultures have commonplace expressions for what can be translated as "improvisation-oriented programming" or "hammering code" (i. e. hacking something in a brutish way)

So the views result counter global field in Drupal 8 doesn't like to be bothered with mathematic expressions in TWIG. FUCK FUKC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

It will render it's own value and seems to be cast as a string like other fields in the view but as soon as you try to increment it or multiply something by it, IT TURNS INTO ZERO!

😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡

what to call his facial expressions in one word?

Modern Web Developer
(To the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "The Pirates of Penzance")

I am the very model of a modern web developer
I’m quite fluent with JavaScript; An HTML whisperer
My code is clean and elegant, I genuinely innovate
And even know my way around a Promise and async / await

I’m very well acquainted too with matters vector graphical
I understand why SVG coordinates seem magical
And even without Photoshop I elegantly can produce
A mockup or a logo in most any format that you choose

[Chorus]
A mockup or a logo in most any format that you choose
A mockup or a logo in most any format that you choose
A mockup or a logo in most any format that you choose

I'm quite adept at ES6 expressions like destructuring
I know the ins and outs of functional reactive programming
In short, in matters browser-based or Node.js if you prefer
I am the very model of a modern web developer

[Chorus]
He is the very model of a modern web developer

I know our mythic history, the humble start, the browser wars
I know why Douglas Crockford fought the battle over ES4
The World Wide Web Consortium and Ecma International
My knowledge of our legacy is truly supernatural

With LESS and SASS and CSS, designing for mobility
I’ll perfectly apply the right amount of specificity
From custom fonts and parallax to grid and flex and border-box
I know most every tip and trick both common and unorthodox

[Chorus]
He knows most every tip and trick both common and unorthodox
He knows most every tip and trick both common and unorthodox
He knows most every tip and trick both common and unorthodox

And when it comes to lazy loading, bundling up and splitting code
There’s nothing quite like Webpack, which of course is built on top of Node
Considering my resume, I’m certain that you will concur
I am the very model of a modern web developer

[Chorus]
He is the very model of a modern web developer

When new frameworks and libraries emerge I must be ravenous
And gobble up the hot new thing, my appetite is bottomless
React and Vue and Angular, Immutable, RxJS
The list will be outdated long before I'm finished singing this

My pull requests rely on multitudinous utilities
To help me lint and test and build, a deluge of analyses
And every single day there are a hundred thousand more to learn
The web is going through an irresponsible amount of churn

[Chorus]
The web is going through an irresponsible amount of churn
The web is going through an irresponsible amount of churn
The web is going through an irresponsible amount of churn

This pace is agonizing! Code from yesterday is obsolete!
The speed of innovation is enough to knock me off my feet!
It's happening too fast! I can’t keep up! I’m tired! It’s all a blur!
I am the very model of a modern web developer!

[Chorus]
He is the very model of a modern web developer!

Expressions that make me infart: Serverless and Automagically.

Why the fuck does the Execute Process Task from SSIS in Visual Studio fail when trying to use variables in an expression?!?

I've been debugging this shit for hours and have made absolutely no progress. There's no apparent workaround.

Fuck you Microsoft, for leaving a known bug in VS for over a decade, where the expressions are surrounded in double quotes, negating the entire purpose of using an expression for variables!!! 😡

I'm beginning to feel like any kind of specific approximation via neural networks is a myth. That if you can't reduce output to simple categorical values that can be broadly interpreted between two points, that it doesn't work.

I have some questions and they don't seem to be getting answered about the design of the net. How many layers should I use ? How many neurons per layer ? How does this relate to the number of desired quantitive scalar outputs I'm looking to create, even if they are normalized, they can vary GREATLY and will if I'm approximating the out of several mathematical expressions. Based on this and the expected error ranges of these numbers and how many possible major digits could be produced within the domain of the variable inputs being introduced, how many neurons per layer ? What does having more layers do ? In pytorch there don't seem to be a lot of layer types per say, but there are a crap ton of activation functions, and should I just be using these at the tail end or should they actually be inserted between layers so the input of the next layer passes through another series of actiavtion functions ? what does this do to the range of output ?

do I need to be a mathematician to do this ?

remembered successes removed quantifiable scalars entirely from output, meaning that I could interpret successful results from ranges of decimal points.

but i've had no success with actual multi variable regression as of yet, even when those input variables are only 2 and on limited value ranges eg [0,100] and [0, 2pi]

and then there are training epochs to avoid overfitting, and reasonable expectation of batches till quality results will start to form.

I swear to god, getting Chumsky to do my bidding has almost taken longer than writing a parser by hand. I'm not looking for operator precedence, I'm not looking for complicated rules or anything, the main part of my language is literally just S-expressions, with some top level bells and whistles.

I don't even have a working lexer yet because I wanted to use this piece of shit library which usually matches the fewest possible characters to parse significant newlines but the Padded combinator takes as much whitespace at the end as it can find, and a host of other atomics don't actually adhere to the library's lazy principle in their procedural implementation. I've had enough. I'm going to bed, and tomorrow I'm writing tickets.

Actually, I'll probably also write PRs because I actually want the fixes to exist and not just complain about the problems, but I also really want to complain before I get started on that because I spent about two weeks just on this bullshit.

So my current company held a dev showcase last week. It was an event to show the different projects/tech stacks that different teams are working on/with. There's about 12-14 teams in our company. My team lead and I were brainstorming ideas on what to show on our booth. And I told him, I have an Intel RealSense developer kit that we can use. Anyway, fast forward to the day before the event, I was still developing our app/game for the booth. Just an emotion detector and you have to trick the app with your facial expressions. (Weird and fun, I know). The head honcho walked past the team lead and I and looked over the demo that I was playing around and he said that: "That's not work. You're wasting time again."

We were both irritated by his comments because he's one of the top dogs in the company and he surely knows about the event. Also, it's our way of showing to him that we're flexible in doing fun stuff instead of just enterprise and internal systems!

What a fucking kill joy!

Does anybody know of a Java library that you can use to parse cron expressions? I mainly want to give it a cron expressions and have it calculate its next execution time.

Evaluation of lambda expressions is not valid in the debugger.

Arg!

Is this supported in VS 2015?

My CS (theoretical foundations of computer science, specifically) professor is currently teaching regular expressions... Has been for three weeks. Same thing over and over. All of his examples involve using regular expressions to parse HTML. He just told us to write a script (using Perl-style regex) that would recursively find and follow link tags in various websites. Just... no...

There is a new Java library very useful for building frameworks and in this library there is a particular classpath scan engine that deserves attention as it is original and powerful.
The peculiarity of this engine is the possibility to search classes over a path or the runtime classpath by concatenable and nestable criteria by exploiting the power of the lambda expressions on the native Java reflection elements such Class, Field, Method, Constructor, Module, Package, Annotation, etc ... thus giving the possibility therefore to carry out searches without limits and for any criterion that can be immaginated: this library is called Burningwave Core, it is open source and on the official wiki on github there are a lot of examples.