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So, my broadband internet is not working. Naturally, i called my ISP and complained.
He enlightened me, "Turn on your TV and watch the news. Theres a deadly computer virus on the loose and it is affecting banks and businesses and everything. So we decided to help our customers by turning our services down for a few days."
What the actual fuck?
Its like to Not eat anything due to a bird flu.
Oh! and i have an exam tomorrow.
Thank you muggles.17 -
My boss is technically restricted shall we say.
As the cto I have also been designated office IT guy. Which means apparently fixing the printer. Which is ok I guess. I mean it's bullsh*t but hey.
Anyway, about 6 months ago he said he needed a new laptop. He lives his life in excel and outlook, and even though the whole company uses google docs for everything he still exports everything to excel, makes a copy, then saves it back to drive so everything gets out of sync.
It's a fun problem that I have banned everyone from doing obviously but he continues.
Anyway, anyway, he wanted a new windows laptop naturally. I said to spend about £700 on a decent machine rather than buying something cheap that will frustrate and not last long.
He doesn't listen and gets some old windows 7 machine for £300. It's an alright spec for 2009; he must not have got the memo about it being 2017.
4 months go by and he says he needs a new laptop because this one is too slow (not least because he opens 400 chrome tabs and never reboots his machine). Anyway, I fix the problem of uninstalling all his bloatware and it runs quicker but he has his heart set on a new machine.
He insists.
I suggest he spend the money this time so he literally doesn't buy a new one in 4 months. I suggest the surface book that's £1200. A little overpriced but he will love the touch screen, it's powerful enough and it's windows. Ticks all the boxes for him.
He suddenly decides he wants a Mac.
I tell him it will be a nightmare for everyone if he does that.
He insists.
I suggest the Mac book pro as I've had mine for 6 years now and it's still going strong. It's a little more expensive than the surface but it will last.
He then says he wants the air.
I say they haven't updated them in ages and they aren't actually that powerful.
He insists.
That night he just buys an air from the Apple Store.
WHY THE FU*k ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR ADVICE IF YOURE NOT GOING TO LISTEN YOU MOTHERFUC*er. WASTING MY TIME AND YOURS.
Was very close to rage quitting when he wanted me to back up his old machine but didn't bring in his hard drive and didn't want to put it in the cloud. #whatDoYouWantMeToDoWithYourOldPornCollection
To top it all off I ran some benchmarks and my 6 year old Mac book pro is more powerful than his "brand new" air.23 -
Tldr :
Office Building : 1
Population: 5000
Number of PC users: 5000
No of Spare mice: 0
Day 1:
Training period commences.
My mouse laser sensor doesn't work.
Solution: Use this mouse to log in to your system.
Open the company portal.
Connect to vpn.
Enter username password.
Create a ticket for mouse replacement.
Done.
Day 3
I bring my own mouse.
Confiscated at security.
Becomes a security violation.
Day 9
I get a call from helpdesk.
Agent- what is the problem?
Me- my mouse is not working.
Agent- why?
Me- what do you mean? Something is wrong with the sensor.
Agent- clean the sensor.
Disconnects call.
Marks ticket as resolved.
Me- WTF just happened!
Naturally, I escalate the issue.
Day 15
Level 2 Agent- what happened? Why have you escalated the issue?
Me- I need a mouse, waiting since 2 weeks.
Him- No mouse is available
Me- you don't have a single spare mouse available in an office with 5000 PC users?
Him- no they're out of stock.
Me- when will it be back in stock?
Him- we will 'soon' launch a tender for quotations from sellers.
Me- time?
Him- 1 week.
Day 34
I email the head of supplies for the city office. Next day I get a used super small mouse, which doesn't have a left button. Anyways, I've given up hope now.
Day 45
I become a master at keyboard shortcuts.
Finish my training.
Get transferred to another city.
No mouse till date.
Surprisingly, this was one of the top recruiters in my country. Never knew, MNCs can be so so inefficient for such simple tasks.
Start-ups are way better in this regard. Latest tech, small community, minimal bureaucracy and a lot of respect and things to learn.15 -
Recently I've been upgrading ubuntu. It took almost midnight.
Suddenly my area witnessed low voltage.
That woke up my dad.
(Now the funny part)
He looked at my laptop. Ordered me to stop whatever is running on it.
Naturally, I asked why!
No response.
Next morning, I came to know my dad thought those gibberish commands running on terminal caused that voltage to drop.
I laughed like hell...
(Me infornt of dad - hackerman)
(Not that funny tho)
Fin.3 -
I was in McDonald's and annoyed to see queues for all the self-service machines. I noticed one of them had nobody queueing though. Several people walked up to it, looked for two seconds, then just walk away. So naturally I had a look myself, and I saw that it was just a string displaying a bit wrongly. Hah!
So I walk up, close that order then make my own. Nothing at all wrong with it, people just have no clue about how computers work. Nobody even tried pressing the buttons after seeing that.
Of course I put it back to the broken screen before I left. I like chaos.
7 -
In an effort to deal with the number of “top priority” tickets, management has come up with a new priority level, “urgent”, to help differentiate between tickets that are “top priority” and tickets that are actually “top priority”.
So as you can guess all tickets are now codified as “urgent”.
I’ve suggested management downgrade some tickets back to merely “top priority” as we’re clearly right back where we started with it being difficult to determine which order to do tickets in.
They’ve ignored my request as the bletherings of a clearly unenlightened peon, and have instead came up with a new priority, “mission critical” which will be reserved for the most hallowed of emerg— oh no wait everything is now “mission critical” who would have guessed?
So “Top priority” is the now lowest priority a ticket can have…Naturally.16 -
So... I just remembered a story that's perfect for devrant.
My brother got into engineering in university, and during the second semester they had their introductory class to programming. They had weekly homeworks that the lecturer would check and give grades accordingly.
The factors that could influence the grading were: execution (meaning that the code would excecute as intended), efficiency and readabilty. The weeks passed and everyone was doing well, getting fairly good grades. Everyone was happy.
Until one day a random guy we'll call bob got the worst grade possible. Bob wasn't a bad student. He had over-the-average grades in all the weekly homeworks and even impressed the professor in some. Naturally, he was baffled when he saw his grade on the google spreadsheet. He was pretty sure his code ran well. He always tested it on different machines and OSs. So, at the end of the class, he went straight to the helper of the class, in a pretty imperative manner, to demand to know how the fuck he got that grade. It's impossible he got excecution, efficiency and readabilty, wrong. All three wrong? Impossible. Even the stupidiest kid in the class had some points on readabilty.
"Oh, so you are Bob. Huh?" said the helper in a laid-back attitude. "Come with me. Prof. X is waiting for you in his office."
This got Bob even more confused. As they approached the office, the courage he had in a first moment banished and gave way for nervousness and fear.
The helper nocks the door. "Prof., Bobs here"
As soon as Bob sits in the chair in front of Prof. X's, he knew something bad was coming.
"In all these years of teaching..." said Prof. X hesitantly. "In all these years of teaching I have not come even close to see something similar to what you've done. You should be ashamed of yourself." Needless to say, Bob was panicked.
"In all these years I have not seen such blatant mockery!" added the professor. "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN DARE TO SEND A HOMEWORK WITH SUCH VARIABLE NAMING" That's when Bob realised the huge mistake he made. "NEVER IN ALL THESE YEARS I HAVE SEEN SOMEONE NAME HIS VARIABLES *opens the file on his desktop *: PENIS, SHIT, FUCKSHIT, GAYFUCKING<insert Prof. X's name>MAN, GOATSE, VAGINAVAR, CUMFUNCTION, [...]" The list of obcenities went on and on. In each word, the professor hit the table harder than the last time.
Turns out Bob felt so in comfort with the ease of the course he decided to spice things up by using "funny naming conventions" while coding, and then tidying everything up before uploading the homework. This week he forgot, and fucked it big time.
So remember folks, always check your code before committing/giving it in/production. And always adhere to naming conventions.9 -
Found this gem on GitHub:
// At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD format.
// PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it such would be an
// insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD is an abysmal format. Having
// worked on this code for several weeks now, my hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire
// that burns with the fierce passion of a million suns.
// If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in different
// places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would think of, and do those
// too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for instance, did it suddenly decide
// that *these* particular chunks should be aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement
// should *not* be included in the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned,
// or aligned with the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included.
// Either one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one. PSD,
// of course, uses all three, and more.
// Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the attic of
// your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark attack on his 58th
// birthday. That last detail may not be important for the purposes of the simile, but
// at this point I am spending a lot of time imagining amusing fates for the people
// responsible for this Rube Goldberg of a file format.
// Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format. To do this,
// I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have them consider sending
// me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing them a copy of some document or
// other, probably signed in blood. I can only imagine that they make this process so
// difficult because they are intensely ashamed of having created this abomination. I
// was naturally not gullible enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done
// so, I would have printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire.
// Were it within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch
// them on a spaceship directly into the sun.
//
// PSD is not my favourite file format.
Ref : https://github.com/zepouet/...16 -
I just got a text from T-Mobile telling me about their updated privacy policy and that I can “opt out.” So, naturally I do exactly this.
After a little bit, I land on their “Do not sell my data” page and discover that, not only does it have 175+ trackers,
it doesn’t even fucking work. Also, on the desktop version of the site, the very control allowing the user to opt out of having their data shared/sold doesn’t even render.
These are all absolutely inexcusable.20 -
TABLE BASED WEB DESIGN
I was surprised there were no rants about this topic before I realized it was more than a decade back 😳
We've never had it better! So to help add a little perspective for all those ranting about what is unarguably the golden age for web developers... let me fill you in on web dev in the late 90's;
JavaScript was a joke. No seriously! - I once got laughed out of the room for suggesting we try use it for more than disabling a button - (I wanted to check out the new XHR request thingy [read AJAX]).
HTML was simple and purely a markup language (with the exception of the marquee tag). The tags were basically just p,ul,ol,h*,form inputs,img and table and html took 10 minutes to learn. Any style was inline and equally crude - anything that wasn't crude could not be trusted and probably wouldn't render at all in most browsers (never mind render correctly).
There were rumors of a style TAG and something called a cascading style sheet which were received with much skepticism since it went against the old ways and any time saved would be lost writing multiple [IE version specific] style sheets for each browser just to get it to work - so we simply didn't.
No CSS meant the only tags you had to work with to create a structured layout were br, hr and table... so naturally EVERYTHING was in nested tables! JS callback hell can't touch this! - it was not uncommon to have 50+ nested tables all with inline style in a single page which would be edited without any dev tools or linting.
You would spend 30 minutes scanning td tags until your eyes bled to find something, make a change, ftp the file to the server, reload the web page and then spend 10 minutes staring at the devastation on your screen convinced you broke
the internet before spotting an un-closed td tag with your bloodshot eyes.
Tables were not just a silver bullet - they were the ONLY bullet and were in the wild west!
Q: Want an inline form or to align your inputs left?
A: Duh table!
Q: Want a border with round-corners, a shadow or blur?
A: That's easy! Your gonna want to put that table in the center cell of another table then crop a image of the border into 6 smaller images to put in the surrounding cells... oh and then spend 10 minutes fucking with mystical attributes like cell-padding and valign to get them flush.
...But hey at least on the bright-side vertically & horizontally centering stuff was a breeze!22 -
HP you can go fuck yourself for the worlds poorest design.
Lets place a SLEEP key right next to Esc.
Naturally you reach for the top left key. Ive put my PC to sleep twice accidentally
16 -
Programming is like sex because...
- One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
- Once you get started, you'll only stop because you're exhausted.
- It takes another experienced person to really appreciate what you're doing.
- ...Conversely, there's some odd people who pride themselves on their lack of experience.
- You can do it for money or for fun.
- If you spend more time doing it than watching TV, people think you're some kind of freak.
- It's not really an appropriate topic for dinner conversation.
- Public schools don't do a very good job teaching kids about it.
- It doesn't make any sense at all if you try to explain it in strictly clinical terms.
- Some people are just naturally good at it.
- ...But some people will never realize how bad they are, and you're wasting your time trying to tell them.
- There are a few weirdos with bizarre practices nobody really is comfortable with.
- One little thing going wrong can ruin everything.
- It's a great way to spend a lunch break.
- Everyone acts like they're the first person to come up with a new technique.
- Everyone who's done it pokes fun at those who haven't.
- Beginners do a lot of clumsy fumbling about.
Source and full list : https://push.cx/2006/...1 -
This is where everything started. I got the chance to work with actual production code. While it is very fun to work with, in some places it's also very frustrating. And this is from where, most of my rants come from.
Thank you @dfox and @trogus for making such a beautiful community.
The best part of this community is I never have to think or take time to make jokes or posts so that I can get upvotes. I've always wanted likes or retweets or reddit upvotes. But it never worked out because I have to think so much to make clever comments or posts. Most of the time, I gave up.
But in devRant, all I do is just share what's happening in my daily dev life. My frustrations, my happiness. That's all it takes. Everyone understands, everyone cares and everyone loves.
Over time, thanks to devRant, I've understood that I was part of the wrong community. This is the community that I deserve, this is the community that every dev deserves.
Thank you all. I love you. And I promise, more rants are coming :D
Especial thanks to @Yeah69 @kevbost @yarwest @tisaconundrum @Linux @donkeyScript . I have no idea why you guys all of a sudden rapidly upvoted me. Although I would love to reach 10k naturally but won't complain haha
8 -
Was struggling with depression and stress for an extended period. So, naturally, I had more sickdays than average.
However, I was still managing to overperform on my goals, so when it came time to discuss salary I was hopeful.
Didn't get a raise, not even a pat on the back. My manager told me he couldn't justify giving me the raise I had earned simply because I had had too many sick days. So my actual performance didn't count. Everybody else got raises though.
On a previous occasion he told me that I had to 'Learn what it means to have a job' and get my priorities straight. I told him I already had very little social life so I could spend what little energy I had on work. I tried to explain to him how depression works and he assured me he understood.
Yeah, right. My colleague with back problems, who suddenly couldn't walk, didn't get that treatment.
Depression is real. I'm so glad they ended up firing me so I could work for a place that cares.8 -
fork() can fail: this is important
Ah, fork(). The way processes make more processes. Well, one of them, anyway. It seems I have another story to tell about it.
It can fail. Got that? Are you taking this seriously? You should. fork can fail. Just like malloc, it can fail. Neither of them fail often, but when they do, you can't just ignore it. You have to do something intelligent about it.
People seem to know that fork will return 0 if you're the child and some positive number if you're the parent -- that number is the child's pid. They sock this number away and then use it later.
Guess what happens when you don't test for failure? Yep, that's right, you probably treat "-1" (fork's error result) as a pid.
That's the beginning of the pain. The true pain comes later when it's time to send a signal. Maybe you want to shut down a child process.
Do you kill(pid, signal)? Maybe you do kill(pid, 9).
Do you know what happens when pid is -1? You really should. It's Important. Yes, with a capital I.
...
...
...
Here, I'll paste from the kill(2) man page on my Linux box.
If pid equals -1, then sig is sent to every process for which the calling process has permission to send signals, except for process 1 (init), ...
See that? Killing "pid -1" is equivalent to massacring every other process you are permitted to signal. If you're root, that's probably everything. You live and init lives, but that's it. Everything else is gone gone gone.
Do you have code which manages processes? Have you ever found a machine totally dead except for the text console getty/login (which are respawned by init, naturally) and the process manager? Did you blame the oomkiller in the kernel?
It might not be the guilty party here. Go see if you killed -1.
Unix: just enough potholes and bear traps to keep an entire valley going.
Source: https://rachelbythebay.com/w/2014/...12 -
Haven’t been on here for ages, but I felt like I needed to post this:
Warning:
This is long, and it might make you cry.
Backstory:
A couple of months back I worked for a completely clueless dude who had somehow landed a contract for a new website for a huge company. After a while he realised that he was incapable of completing the assignment. He then hired me as a subcontractor and I deleted literally everything he had done and started from scratch. He had over promised and under explained what needed to be done to me. It took many sleepless nights to get this finished with all the amendments and I had to double my pricing because he kept changing the brief.
Even after doubling my prices I still put in way too many hours of work. At one point I had enough and just ghosted the guy as I had done what he asked, and when he submitted it to them they wanted changes. He couldn’t make the changes, so I had to. He wouldn’t pay me extra though. I decided it wasn’t worth my time.
A couple of days ago I heard from him again. He had found another subcontractor to finish the changes. He still needed a few things though, so he promised me that I would get paid after fixing those things. I looked at the few things he had listed in our KANBAN and thought it was a few easy tasks.. until I opened the project..
I had my computer set up to sync with his server because he wanted everything done live and in production. So I naturally thought I would just “sync down” everything that the other subcontractor had done.
Here is where the magic started to happen.. I started the sync and went to grab a glass of water, and it was still running when I came back. I looked at the log and saw a bunch of “node_module” files syncing - around 900 folders. Funny thing is; neither the site nor server has anything to do with node..
I disregarded this and downloaded the files in a more manual fashion to a new folder. Interestingly I could see that my SCSS folders had not been touched since I stopped working on the project.. interesting, I thought to myself..
Turns out, the other subcontractor had taken my rendered and minimised CSS file, prettified it and worked from there. This meant that the around ~1500 lines of SCSS neatly organised in around 20 files was suddenly turned into a monster of a single CSS file of no less than 17300 lines.
I tried to explain to the guy that the other subcontractor had fucked up, but he said that I should be able to fix it since I was the one that made it initially. I haven’t replied. My life is too short for this.8 -
Good news: Learning to use Vim was tough as fuck but worth it. I've been on it for a week and not having to use a mouse for text editing anymore just naturally makes more sense.
Bad news: Nothing. Else. Has. Vim. I am going to be spending hours figruing out how to get this to work in MS Office online and Firefox to keep my workflow the same.
P.S. devRant should have a Vim option. Make it a perk for supporters. :)
22 -
Sooooo me and the lead dev got placed in the wrong job classification at work.
Without sounding too mean, we are placed under the same descriptor and pay scale reserved for secretaries, janitors and the people that do maintenance at work(we work for a college as developers) whilst our cowormer who manages the cms got the correct classification.
The manager went apeshit because the guidelines state that:
Making software products
Administration of dbs
Server maintenance and troubleshooting
Security (network)
And a lot of shit is covered on the exemption list and it is things that we do by a wide fucking margin. The classification would technically prohibit us from developing software and the whole it dptmnt went apeshit over it since he(lead developer) refuses (rightfully so) to touch anything and do basically nothing other than generate reports.
Its a fun situation. While we both got a substantial raise in salary(go figure) we also got demoted at the same time.
There is a department in IT which deals with the databases for other major applications, their title is "programmers" yet for some reason me and the lead end up writing all the sql code that they ever need. They make waaaaay more money than me and the lead do, even in the correct classification.
Resolution: manager is working with the head of the department to correct this blasphemy WHILE asking for a higher pay than even the "programmers"
I love this woman. She has balls man. When the president of the school paraded around the office asking for an update on a high priority app she said that I am being gracious enough to work on it even though i am not supposed to. The fucking prick asked if i could speed it up to where she said that most of my work I do it on my off time, which by law is now something that I cannot do for the school and that she does not expect any of her devs to do jack shit unless shit gets fixed quick. With the correct pay.
Naturally, the president did not like such predicament and thus urged the HR department(which is globally hated now since they fucked up everyone's classification) to fix it.
Dunno if I will get above the pay that she requested. But seeing that royal ammount of LADY BALLS really means something to me. Which is why i would not trade that woman for a job at any of my dream workplaces.
Meanwhile, the level of stress placed my 12 years of service diabetic lead dev at the hospital. Fuck the hr department for real, fuck the vps of the school that fucked this up royally and fuck people in this city in general. I really care for my team, and the lead dev is one of my best friends and a good developer, this shit will not fucking go unnoticed and the HR department is now in low priority level for the software that we build for them
Still. I am amazed to have a manager that actually looks out for us instead of putting a nice face for the pricks that screwed us over.
I have been working since I was 16, went through the Army, am 27 now and it is the first time that I have seen such manager.
She can't read this, but she knows how much I appreciate her.3 -
!rant
This dumb pretentious bitch.
We are both computer science students, she is writing her bachelor thesis, I'm in 4th semester, but have 6 years of professional programming experience.
So naturally when she had a problem implementing the MOTHERFUCKING PREPARING SOFTWARE, which she needs to begin writing her thesis I helped her.
First I started explaining every last bit of code, trying to teach her something, so that she wouldn't need my help ALL the time.
After a while I realised that this BLOODY GIRL FROM HELL acquired nearly half her credits by other peoples help, so I just fix the code hoping it would be over soon.
When that software was done, keep in mind, I coded nearly 90 FUCKING PERCENT OF THAT SHITTY ASS PIECE OF CRAP SOFTWARE, she asked me to also "help" her implementing a generator for samples she could test the software with.
Naturally at this point I said I'd be busy with own projects etc. And declined.
So now, nearly 1 Month after she didn't talk to me, THAT ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT WANNABE SCIENCE BACHELOR asked if I could help her with LaTEX.
At first I was speechless. How could she have that amount of balls, asking me that. As I only am a ranting asshole inside, I declined in the most polite way.
WHAT THE FUCK! I HOPE YOU WILL FAIL YOUR THESIS AND ALL THE 12 SEMESTERS YOU STUDIED WILL HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING, THUS SENDING YOU TO LIVE ON THE STREET WITHOUT MONEY AND DIE A HORRIBLE AND LONELY DEATH SURROUNDED BY BEGGERS TRYING TO STEAL YOUR KIDNEYS!
Sincerely,
Me.14 -
I'm not really one for news, but apparently (a while ago) there was some 12 year old who taught himself to code and made his own apps and whatnot. Girlfriend informed me of this.
Just got told that I'm a useless piece of shit because Im 23 and don't develop apps and I'm not rich like this kid. Fuck man. I develop mostly server side software, and I personally fucking wrote half the shit the company uses. No one really knows, so naturally in the silent developer. Don't much care about that. But fuck, being told I'm useless because a 12 year old has more money than me really made me take one straight to the balls. Now I'm sitting here, moping, downloading android studio, and just going to prove a person wrong. I can fucking code an app, it's not that hard.
Should have just said fuck off, but I don't have the strength and effort to face flying cups anymore.
Android sdk, here I come.12 -
Me and a junior coder are working on a project. However, he likes to think he's funny and say "Ok google" to stop me from using my phone.
He said "Ok google, search midget porn" when I was calling my mom so naturally I need to get back at him, so when he's in the rec room, I backed up all his code on my flash drive, and copied it to the clipboard, and removed all project files from his computer.
He came back while I was in the bathroom, and when I reentered the room and was balling his eyes out, that his project was gone. I said to him, don't ok google me again and I handed him the flash drive back. He has never done anything bad again.12 -
> In office for first time in awhile
> Run into group of 4 people I don’t recognize in far cubicle corning laughing in hushed voices eating of an impressive spread of food
> See me and immediately look at each other with panicked expressions
> Confused, I put my hands up to indicate I come in peace
> They relax a little and say they thought I was from HR since they didn’t recognize me
> Ask why HR seeing them would be such a big deal
> They say their potluck is not “sanctioned”
> …?
So apparently HR just could resist ruining one of the only good things about coming into the office and one of the coolest things about the company’s culture. At least once a month there would be a giant potluck where everyone would bring some home cooked dish and share it. I can’t tell you how amazing these are in Canada, 50+ plates of authentic food from all over the world.
Unfortunately HR didn’t agree as 1. They didn’t cook so felt bad taking food. 2. Nobody asked them permission to put on these events they just happened organically. 3. Some people were bringing in food that they felt was culturally inappropriate (ie. caucasian guy bringing in homemade sushi).
HR recently banned all “unsanctioned” potlucks and all future potlucks needed to be approved through them with the following stipulations. 1. You could participate without bringing something by donating to HR $10 2. If you brought something you still had to give HR $10. 3. Things you brought in had to be approved by HR
Naturally the first and only potluck under these rules only 4 people brought something in as many couldn’t get their dishes approved because HR didn’t like what they were planning to bring (started out as being because culture and turned into HR just being picky), most just brought $10 so there wasn’t enough food to go around and so after HR took a giant group photo to post on the company’s social media accounts to show off how good the company’s culture is most everyone had to go out for lunch. HR sent out an email later that day exclaiming what a huge success for charity and the company brand the potluck was and they can’t wait for the next one. (I have the HR communications email marked as spam so I never saw the email). Nobody ever organized a sanctioned potluck after that.
However people still missed cooking and sharing their favourite recipes with one another so potlucks still occur but they are now very small, secret, invite-only, hush-hush affairs.
…What in the ever loving fuck22 -
So, some time ago, I was working for a complete puckered anus of a cosmetics company on their ecommerce product. Won't name names, but they're shitty and known for MLM. If you're clever, go you ;)
Anyways, over the course of years they brought in a competent firm to implement their service layer. I'd even worked with them in the past and it was designed to handle a frankly ridiculous-scale load. After they got the 1.0 released, the manager was replaced with some absolutely talentless, chauvinist cuntrag from a phone company that is well known for having 99% indian devs and not being able to heard now. He of course brought in his number two, worked on making life miserable and running everyone on the team off; inside of a year the entire team was ex-said-phone-company.
Watching the decay of this product was a sheer joy. They cratered the database numerous times during peak-load periods, caused $20M in redis-cluster cost overrun, ended up submitting hundreds of erroneous and duplicate orders, and mailed almost $40K worth of product to a random guy in outer mongolia who is , we can only hope, now enjoying his new life as an instagram influencer. They even terminally broke the automatic metadata, and hired THIRTY PEOPLE to sit there and do nothing but edit swagger. And it was still both wrong and unusable.
Over the course of two years, I ended up rewriting large portions of their infra surrounding the centralized service cancer to do things like, "implement security," as well as cut memory usage and runtimes down by quite literally 100x in the worst cases.
It was during this time I discovered a rather critical flaw. This is the story of what, how and how can you fucking even be that stupid. The issue relates to users and their reports and their ability to order.
I first found this issue looking at some erroneous data for a low value order and went, "There's no fucking way, they're fucking stupid, but this is borderline criminal." It was easy to miss, but someone in a top down reporting chain had submitted an order for someone else in a different org. Shouldn't be possible, but here was that order staring me in the face.
So I set to work seeing if we'd pwned ourselves as an org. I spend a few hours poring over logs from the log service and dynatrace trying to recreate what happened. I first tested to see if I could get a user, not something that was usually done because auth identity was pervasive. I discover the users are INCREMENTAL int values they used for ids in the database when requesting from the API, so naturally I have a full list of users and their title and relative position, as well as reports and descendants in about 10 minutes.
I try the happy path of setting values for random, known payment methods and org structures similar to the impossible order, and submitting as a normal user, no dice. Several more tries and I'm confident this isn't the vector.
Exhausting that option, I look at the protocol for a type of order in the system that allowed higher level people to impersonate people below them and use their own payment info for descendant report orders. I see that all of the data for this transaction is stored in a cookie. Few tests later, I discover the UI has no forgery checks, hashing, etc, and just fucking trusts whatever is present in that cookie.
An hour of tweaking later, I'm impersonating a director as a bottom rung employee. Score. So I fill a cart with a bunch of test items and proceed to checkout. There, in all its glory are the director's payment options. I select one and am presented with:
"please reenter card number to validate."
Bupkiss. Dead end.
OR SO YOU WOULD THINK.
One unimportant detail I noticed during my log investigations that the shit slinging GUI monkeys who butchered the system didn't was, on a failed attempt to submit payment in the DB, the logs were filled with messages like:
"Failed to submit order for [userid] with credit card id [id], number [FULL CREDIT CARD NUMBER]"
One submit click later and the user's credit card number drops into lnav like a gatcha prize. I dutifully rerun the checkout and got an email send notification in the logs for successful transfer to fulfillment. Order placed. Some continued experimentation later and the truth is evident:
With an authenticated user or any privilege, you could place any order, as anyone, using anyon's payment methods and have it sent anywhere.
So naturally, I pack the crucifixion-worthy body of evidence up and walk it into the IT director's office. I show him the defect, and he turns sheet fucking white. He knows there's no recovering from it, and there's no way his shitstick service team can handle fixing it. Somewhere in his tiny little grinchly manager's heart he knew they'd caused it, and he was to blame for being a shit captain to the SS Failboat. He replies quietly, "You will never speak of this to anyone, fix this discretely." Straight up hitler's bunker meme rage.13 -
Just wow. I am amazed by what just happened.
A year ago my parents decided to switch from desktop to laptop for convenience. Knowing their needs, i bought them one without an OS and installed Ubuntu 16.04 on it. The thing is that if you do a regular maintenance of the laptop once a year at their partner company, you get additional 4 years of warranty (this offer is amazing).
So today was the day I brought the laptop for this maintenance for the first time. They make you a profile on their support website where you can track shit regarding your device, super convenient. First thing I notice that the login page was not https. Awkward, but there is no sensitive data here so i let it pass. Naturally i forgot my password, so I requested a new one and guess what? I recieved it in plaintext via mail. A tech repair oriented company does this, my god.
I went there, gave them the laptop in question and got a piece of paper, where they wrote that the laptop is in their hands now, and the current physical state of the laptop, and blabla.
I got home and I read what the guy wrote among other things: THE OPERATING SYSTEM IS NOT LEGAL.
How the fuck is Ubuntu not legal??? What the fuck is this shit? I sure as hell didn't torrent it or bought a booteged copy on the streets.11 -
Before I continue, I should mention that I have a quality: I observe, find repetitive patterns and find ways to automate them. It just happens naturally, hardly ever intentionally.
I have been in this role for quite a while now. Most of my colleagues are of nationality X (I guess we all know what X is in IT projects). Naturally, there are lots of repetitions all over the place. So I started the automation.
The Frontend of the automation is a slack bot. It's just like another member of our team. And my goal was to make it as human-like as I could.
I launched the bot a few months ago.
Today I start my shift and see other employees of nationality X persistently asking my bot to join the conference call. Apparently, they assumed that the bot is just another X fellow...
Took them a while to give up.
What does that tell us about X.....
P.S. I have coded human-like conversation capability to keep on chatting even when the bot doesn't understand what it's asked to do.24 -
POSTMORTEM
"4096 bit ~ 96 hours is what he said.
IDK why, but when he took the challenge, he posted that it'd take 36 hours"
As @cbsa wrote, and nitwhiz wrote "but the statement was that op's i3 did it in 11 hours. So there must be a result already, which can be verified?"
I added time because I was in the middle of a port involving ArbFloat so I could get arbitrary precision. I had a crude desmos graph doing projections on what I'd already factored in order to get an idea of how long it'd take to do larger
bit lengths
@p100sch speculated on the walked back time, and overstating the rig capabilities. Instead I spent a lot of time trying to get it 'just-so'.
Worse, because I had to resort to "Decimal" in python (and am currently experimenting with the same in Julia), both of which are immutable types, the GC was taking > 25% of the cpu time.
Performancewise, the numbers I cited in the actual thread, as of this time:
largest product factored was 32bit, 1855526741 * 2163967087, took 1116.111s in python.
Julia build used a slightly different method, & managed to factor a 27 bit number, 103147223 * 88789957 in 20.9s,
but this wasn't typical.
What surprised me was the variability. One bit length could take 100s or a couple thousand seconds even, and a product that was 1-2 bits longer could return a result in under a minute, sometimes in seconds.
This started cropping up, ironically, right after I posted the thread, whats a man to do?
So I started trying a bunch of things, some of which worked. Shameless as I am, I accepted the challenge. Things weren't perfect but it was going well enough. At that point I hadn't slept in 30~ hours so when I thought I had it I let it run and went to bed. 5 AM comes, I check the program. Still calculating, and way overshot. Fuuuuuuccc...
So here we are now and it's say to safe the worlds not gonna burn if I explain it seeing as it doesn't work, or at least only some of the time.
Others people, much smarter than me, mentioned it may be a means of finding more secure pairs, and maybe so, I'm not familiar enough to know.
For everyone that followed, commented, those who contributed, even the doubters who kept a sanity check on this without whom this would have been an even bigger embarassement, and the people with their pins and tactical dots, thanks.
So here it is.
A few assumptions first.
Assuming p = the product,
a = some prime,
b = another prime,
and r = a/b (where a is smaller than b)
w = 1/sqrt(p)
(also experimented with w = 1/sqrt(p)*2 but I kept overshooting my a very small margin)
x = a/p
y = b/p
1. for every two numbers, there is a ratio (r) that you can search for among the decimals, starting at 1.0, counting down. You can use this to find the original factors e.x. p*r=n, p/n=m (assuming the product has only two factors), instead of having to do a sieve.
2. You don't need the first number you find to be the precise value of a factor (we're doing floating point math), a large subset of decimal values for the value of a or b will naturally 'fall' into the value of a (or b) + some fractional number, which is lost. Some of you will object, "But if thats wrong, your result will be wrong!" but hear me out.
3. You round for the first factor 'found', and from there, you take the result and do p/a to get b. If 'a' is actually a factor of p, then mod(b, 1) == 0, and then naturally, a*b SHOULD equal p.
If not, you throw out both numbers, rinse and repeat.
Now I knew this this could be faster. Realized the finer the representation, the less important the fractional digits further right in the number were, it was just a matter of how much precision I could AFFORD to lose and still get an accurate result for r*p=a.
Fast forward, lot of experimentation, was hitting a lot of worst case time complexities, where the most significant digits had a bunch of zeroes in front of them so starting at 1.0 was a no go in many situations. Started looking and realized
I didn't NEED the ratio of a/b, I just needed the ratio of a to p.
Intuitively it made sense, but starting at 1.0 was blowing up the calculation time, and this made it so much worse.
I realized if I could start at r=1/sqrt(p) instead, and that because of certain properties, the fractional result of this, r, would ALWAYS be 1. close to one of the factors fractional value of n/p, and 2. it looked like it was guaranteed that r=1/sqrt(p) would ALWAYS be less than at least one of the primes, putting a bound on worst case.
The final result in executable pseudo code (python lol) looks something like the above variables plus
while w >= 0.0:
if (p / round(w*p)) % 1 == 0:
x = round(w*p)
y = p / round(w*p)
if x*y == p:
print("factors found!")
print(x)
print(y)
break
w = w + i
Still working but if anyone sees obvious problems I'd LOVE to hear about it.38 -
So yesterday our team got a new toy. A big ass 4k screen to display some graphs on. Took a while to assemble the stand, hang the TV on that stand, but we got there.
So our site admin gets us a new HDMI cable. Coleague told us his lappy supports huge screens as he used to plug his home TV in his work lappy while WFHing. He grabs that HDMI, plugs one end into the screen, another - into his lappy and
.. nothing...
Windows does not recognize any new devices connected. The screen does not show any signs of any changes. Oh well..
Site IT admin installs all the updates, all the new drivers, upgrades BIOS and gives another try.
Nothing.
So naturally the cable is to blame. The port is working for him at home, so it's sure not port's fault. Also he uses his 2-monitor setup at work, so the port is 100% working!
I'm curious. What if..... While they are busy looking for another cable, I take that first one, plug it into my Linux (pretty much stock LinuxMint installation w/ X) lappy,
3.. 2.. 1..
and my desktop is now on the big ass 4k fat screen.
Folks. Enough bitching about Linux being picky about the hardware and Windows being more user friendly, having PnP and so. I'm not talking about esoteric devices. I'm talking about BAU devices that most of home users are using. A monitor, a printer, a TV screen, a scanner, wireless/usb speaker/mouse/keyboard/etc...
Linux just works. Face it
P.S. today they are still trying to make his lappy work with that TV screen. No luck yet.
17 -
How many of you naturally used Allman style, even though your first programming class taught you to use K&R?
24 -
I'm been hacking together software for the last year or so now and I've never considered myself to be a good programmer.
Today however I had to implement an A* search from scratch and with only the knowledge of how the algorithm should function I put together some code that looked correct.
I went to run my code expecting one of the typical "Index out of bound", "null reference", "something has not be initialised" BUT I was shocked to find that the code worked flawlessly.
I went into a weird state of shock and disbelief. I'm not naturally gifted at this stuff, so it was just really hard for me to accept that I might actually be getting better to the point where I might be able to say "I am a programmer"
Does anyone else get bad imposter syndrome?6 -
Dev: This is the first version of this new app, we’re still experimenting with how it’s going to work but initial headway is looking promising. It cost very little to make, came together very quickly and is already resulting in productivity increases for users. We’re just doing a bit of code cleanup now and we’ll make a move on the next iteration.
Corporate IT: This project is being completely mishandled! In order to successfully build an app you have to determine every single requirement beforehand! It takes millions upon millions of dollars due to the complex system of governance and approval that needs to exist. Massive numbers of stakeholders need to be involved and coordinated to even make so much as a login screen! I bet your project doesn’t even have a documented list of core values.
Dev: Has you ever successfully built an app using that methodology?
Corporate IT: 😡 That’s a loaded question. I went to school to study project management and have over 25 years of experience in the field. If you had the training and experience I do you would know that tech projects are naturally very volatile and there’s nothing you can do about that!
Dev: …8 -
I studied ancient languages, because of corruption in my home country, I couldn't find any place in academy although my scores were above 90%. Moved to another country and taught myself web development. Naturally in time I lost almost all my knowledge of Latin, Ancient Greek, the whole ancient literature, history, philosophy and culture (everything from historical evolution of tremmas in letter i in ancient Greek to honey fish recipe in ancient Rome cousine). I'm super happy with Webdev tho but I think that also counts as data loss.11
-
It's not a dev quiting but my brother who worked in parcel delivery at that time.
He was hired on a temporary contract but promissed from the beginning and in every discussion they had, that he'll get a permanent position after 6 moth, if his work is good.
Fast forward 6 months. They had a meeting and told him how satisfied they where with his work so naturally he asked about the permanent contract. Fuckers acted suprise and shit. Claiming to never have said any of it. However as they are happy with him and so "generous", they offerd him another contract for 6 months and told him, they could talk about a permanent one after that period.
He kind of has a temprament, so he got up, fliped them the bird and called them lying assholes and went home. He didn't show for the time left on his contract.
The funny thing about it he worked for the swiss postal service (which is owned by the state) but not directly but through this.company providing temporary workers (which is cheaper for them as they get a shitty salary compared to a full time employee with all the benefits).
Wankers!
Nice thing though, the accounting department still sent him a christmas bonus (he quit somewhere around mai...)7 -
Laziest dev thing I've ever done.
An annoying "I-do-nothing-but-delegate-and-make-fuzz" manager proposed to create a new application with redundant functionalities, that would take me at least half a year to build.
Practically, the app would never be used and I didn't want to put effort in that monstrosity.
So, naturally I...
Pressure the right people, schedule numerous meetings, become the project manager for all internal applications and... I cancel the project.4 -
About a year ago I switched my job.
At the start everything seemed like magic. I was the It director, I've finally was able to call the shots on technologies, on new software architecture.
First step was to check the current state of the company.
"qqqq" as each pc password? Ok
No firewall from outside? Lovely
Servers running on Windows Server 2008? Spectacular
People leaving pc on after work and left the machine unlocked just not to type the password? Hell yeah
The IT dude playing games instead of working? But ofcourse
Plaintext passwords publically accessible eshop? Naturally.
The list goes on and on.
After all this time, I'm working to fix every hole like that like crazy and because it doesn't show results, I'm soon to lose my job. Well better luck next time as an intern I guess :')19 -
Whenever im programming in Python it seems like my finger naturally presses the semicolon key after any statement😂5
-
Once upon a time, there were a restaurant called "iEat.tech.com".
It was a small single-location place, where the sufficient number of patrons could be served by the cozy number of employees.
In fact, headcount was so lean that the cook was also the one who washed all the dishes.
But then came the suits and their "VC"(daddy) money and scaled shit up.
Soon, there were so many patrons that the dishes started to pile up the sink, never washed.
"We need someone to wash the dishes!" said the cook
"Fuck you, you wash the dishes!" said the s*its
Naturally, the cook left soon after.
The s*its had a problem now. They could not replace the cook fast enough - all other cooks were either young, inexperienced and mediocre (but did clean the dishes), or refused to waste their time on the sink.
So the suits did what $*its always do - they got a fucking consultant. Who told them to get a fucking dishwashing machine and billed them the GDP of Ireland.
The s*is, of course, did not want to buy a dishwashing machine. "Our fucking process is too fucking disruptive for us to use a fucking store-bought mass-produced metal servant!" (s*its don't know what "machines" are. For them, it's all in terms of "servants", employees and machines alike).
So the s*its hired an engineer to "solve the fucking dish problem, once and for all".
The engineer quickly started measuring and drawing and calculating. The engineer was about to prepare a budget when the s*its came screaming "What the fuck are you doing? There is a fucking pile of dishes in the sink!"
The engineer replied that "I'm designing the machine!", to what the s*its responded "don't bring me fucking problems, bring me solutions!" (or some other s*it blabber)
So the engineer quickly designed an efficient dishwashing assembly line to be done in half the time most people would. And then went back to designing the machine.
But the s*its were having none of it. They kept expanding and expanding and doing what they could so that the engineer never had a moment to work on the machine. They dit it so surreptitiously that no one barely even noticed, but one day they were paying a team of engineers to be fucking human dishwashers.
Now replace "dishes" with "Jira tickets" or "quick fixes" or "tiny changes" and fix other terms accordingly.
Fucking s*its.10 -
I have to start my best moment last year with a confession: I moved from Dev to Test half a decade ago. Naturally I do a lot of automation. My Best moment was when Dev said my automation code is so well structured that he wants to work on that and not an the production code anymore. Gave me that warm "still got it" feeling 😊2
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Dev from MIT argued about every. Single. Thing. I said. I'm not talking language or cultural or political barrier, I'm talking about just a naturally confrontational person. Maybe it was just his nerves (people do weird shit when they are nervous), but damn if i didnt want to throw him out after "agreeing to disagree" for the 4th time in 10 minutes.7
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What an absolute fucking disaster of a day. Strap in, folks; it's time for a bumpy ride!
I got a whole hour of work done today. The first hour of my morning because I went to work a bit early. Then people started complaining about Jenkins jobs failing on that one Jenkins server our team has been wanting to decom for two years but management won't let us force people to move to new servers. It's a single server with over four thousand projects, some of which run massive data processing jobs that last DAYS. The server was originally set up by people who have since quit, of course, and left it behind for my team to adopt with zero documentation.
Anyway, the 500GB disk is 100% full. The memory (all 64GB of it) is fully consumed by stuck jobs. We can't track down large old files to delete because du chokes on the workspace folder with thousands of subfolders with no Ram to spare. We decide to basically take a hacksaw to it, deleting the workspace for every job not currently in progress. This of course fucked up some really poorly-designed pipelines that relied on workspaces persisting between jobs, so we had to deal with complaints about that as well.
So we get the Jenkins server up and running again just in time for AWS to have a major incident affecting EC2 instance provisioning in our primary region. People keep bugging me to fix it, I keep telling them that it's Amazon's problem to solve, they wait a few minutes and ask me to fix it again. Emails flying back and forth until that was done.
Lunch time already. But the fun isn't over yet!
I get back to my desk to find out that new hires or people who got new Mac laptops recently can't even install our toolchain, because management has started handing out M1 Macs without telling us and all our tools are compiled solely for x86_64. That took some troubleshooting to even figure out what the problem was because the only error people got from homebrew was that the formula was empty when it clearly wasn't.
After figuring out that problem (but not fully solving it yet), one team starts complaining to us about a Github problem because we manage the github org. Except it's not a github problem and I already knew this because they are a Problem Team that uses some technical authoring software with Git integration but they only have even the barest understanding of what Git actually does. Turns out it's a Git problem. An update for Git was pushed out recently that patches a big bad vulnerability and the way it was patched causes problems because they're using Git wrong (multiple users accessing the same local repo on a samba share). It's a huge vulnerability so my entire conversation with them went sort of like:
"Please don't."
"We have to."
"Fine, here's a workaround, this will allow arbitrary code execution by anyone with physical or virtual access to this computer that you have sitting in an unlocked office somewhere."
"How do I run a Git command I don't use Git."
So that dealt with, I start taking a look at our toolchain, trying to figure out if I can easily just cross-compile it to arm64 for the M1 macbooks or if it will be a more involved fix. And I find all kinds of horrendous shit left behind by the people who wrote the tools that, naturally, they left for us to adopt when they quit over a year ago. I'm talking entire functions in a tool used by hundreds of people that were put in as a joke, poorly documented functions I am still trying to puzzle out, and exactly zero comments in the code and abbreviated function names like "gars", "snh", and "jgajawwawstai".
While I'm looking into that, the person from our team who is responsible for incident communication finally gets the AWS EC2 provisioning issue reported to IT Operations, who sent out an alert to affected users that should have gone out hours earlier.
Meanwhile, according to the health dashboard in AWS, the issue had already been resolved three hours before the communication went out and the ticket remains open at this moment, as far as I know.5 -
If I died, I would have one regret.
I once worked in a code base whose messiness would make an oil spill in the fucking pacific ocean look like spilled milk on the floor in comparison.
Naturally, it had bugs. Oh BOY did it have bugs. Most of them were taken care of well enough. Or about as well as anyone insane enough to work in that code could.
There was just this one bug, which I still (un)fondly call "my bug of 2 years". It. Just. Didn't. Make. Sense.
It was written in JavaScript. Naturally. Which by itself, is the metaphorical programming language equivalent of a pile of horse manure. But this bug. It was the guano icing on top of the horse manure cake which is JavaScript.
I LITERALLY spent 2 years trying to find a solution. I woke up at night, thinking of explanations. I had dreams about fixing the damn thing. And I never did.
On the day I left the job, I had to pass it on to a friend (who hasn't solved the fucker yet either).
I hated that bug with all my heart. But..
Now that I think back, all the books I read, all the docs that I scoured, every non working fix I coded and every failed efforts I made on it, eventually made me a better programmer.
So cherish your bugs and issues. Sometimes, they come, not to hurt you, but to help you grow (unless you use JS, those bugs just wanna fuck you).3 -
I signed up for a 3 day course on c++ for revision purposes since I haven't used it in years, it was there, so why not.
So we get an email about having to install linux mint beforehand. Naturally, having ubuntu installed, i just ask if I can roll with that. And the answer is:
"Yes you just need to install the compiler, but then you won't get the credit point for the course, since you have not completed all tasks."
And an instruction was attached innthe general email on to how to create a bootable usb stick with windows and set up the partition (!) for a dualboot system for like 10 gigs of linux.
Bruh.
Da fuq.
I'm coming for the c++ not the linux. Also how do you think I've got ubuntu running in the first place? I get it the course is for beginners probably but still.
Also, after reading the instructions and knowing Windows 10 i can see bootloader issues incoming...
Was looking forward to that course now I'm not so sure. 🤔
(Sidenote: i don't care about the point I could get ftom this)10 -
Screw the German Telekom!
I recently got a new home without internet so naturally, I went to an isp, Telekom. I went there a few weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised by the personal and the general competence. He told me they would send a technician to check my cable. So I thought great and went home. 1 A week passes, nobody shows up. I then went back to the shop and asked(someone different). He basically told me that such a service must be specifically asked for and a contract has to be signed. I then told
him his colleague told me no such thing, and that the technician should have checked up on my connection last week. He excuses him self and I signed the thingy.
Now you would imagine that this would have worked.
but.
NOOOoooo.
A week came and went and I got pissed. So I went back to the shop the guy from the first try was there. I Asked what happened, he types in his Computer. and. and. and. nothing. Apparently, the previous guy forgot, fucking forgot, to enter my request to their bloody System.
Now I asked if I can Just become a customer.
Guy: Sure, what speed is available in your region?
Me: I don't know...
Guy: Let me check
/Type/ /Type/
Guy: I can't see your speed the technician should have checked.
Me: Um, so, can he check?
Guy: Clearly you don't know what you want
Me:???
Guy:*leaves table*
(shorten but you get the Idea)
At this point, I really wanted to change isp so I went to Vodafone.
Lady comes up to me asks me a bunch of stuff and I explain I would want to change my phone, internet, tv, mobile and my friends mobile(I lost a bet once ^~^) to Vodafone.
What happened next I can't really explain, but she talked to her boss and "cheated" (how she calls it) on Vodafone and got me an AMAZING deal it is cheaper than Telekoms has waay more mobile data, faster Internet and I got a new phone :D.
And guess what she could fucking check, fucking check from here Computer my max internet speed.
I can only hope that the lady got a big fat commission for what she has done.6 -
I could’ve cleaned it up but we all know desks aren’t naturally as clean as people make them for these types of photos...
3 -
I've caught the efficiency bug.
I recently started a minimum wage job to get my life back in order after a failed 2 year project (post mortem: next time bring more cash for a longer runway)
I've noticed this thing I do at every job, where I see inefficiency and I think "how can I use technology to automate myself out of this job?"
My first ever application was in C++ for college (a BASIC interpreter) and it's been so long I've since forgotten the language.
But after a while every language starts to look like every other language, and you start to wonder if maybe the reason you never seriously went anywhere as a programmer was because you never really were cut out for it.
Code monkey, sure. Programmer? Dunno, maybe I just suffer from imposter syndrome.
So a few years back I worked at a retail chain. Nothing as big as walmart, but they have well over 10k store locations. They had two IBM handscanners per store, old grungy ugly things, and one of these machines would inevitably be broken, lost or in need of upgrade/replacement about once a year, per location. District manager, who I hit it off with, and made a point of building report with, told me they were paying something like $1500 a piece.
After a programming dry spell, I picked up 'coding' with MIT app inventor. Built a 'mostly complete' inventory management app over the course of a month, and waited for the right time.
The day of a big store audit, (and the day before a multi-regional meeting), I made sure I was in-store at the same time as my district manager, so he could 'stumble upon' me working, scanning in and pricing items into the app.
Naturally he asked about it, and I had the numbers, the print outs, and the app itself to show him. He seemed impressed by what amounted to a code monkeys 'non-code' solution for a problem they had.
Long story short, he does what I expected, runs it by the other regionals and middle executives at the meeting, and six months later they had invested in a full blown in house app, cutting IBM out of the mix I presume.
From what I understand they now use the app throughout the entire store chain.
So if you work at IBM, sorry, that contract you lost for handscanners at 10k+ stores? Yeah that was my fault (and MIT app inventor).
They say software is 'eating the world' but it really goes to show, for a lot of 'almost coders' and 'code monkeys' half our problem is dealing with setup and platform boilerplate. I think in the future that a lot of jobs are either going to be created or destroyed thanks to better 'low code' solutions, and it seems to be a big potential future market.
In the mean while I've realized, while working on side projects, that maybe I can do this after all, and taken up Kotlin. I want to do a couple of apps for efficiency and store tracking at my current employer to see if I'm capable and not just an mit app-inventor codemonkey after all.
I'm hoping, by demonstrating what I can do, I can use that as a springboard into an internal programming position at my current gig (which seems to be a company thats moving towards a more tech oriented approach to efficiency and management). Also watching money walk out the door due to inefficiency kinda pisses me off, and the thought of fixing those issues sounds really interesting. At the end of the day I just like learning new technologies, and maybe this is all just an excuse to pick up something new after spending so long on less serious work.
I still have a ways to go, but the prospect of working on B2B, and being able to offer technological solutions to common and recurring business needs excites the hell out of me..as cringy and over-repeated as that may sound.5 -
My friend told me stories about his colleague who's always against him.
One time, during their management meeting, that colleague suggested that they should have a suggestion box in the office.
So my friend proposed that they use Google forms. He presented how Google forms work and the majority got really impressed(except the colleague).
Naturally the colleague is against him, he said "this is not what I had in mind". He wanted to have an actual box and people write suggestions on paper and drop it in(suggesting the ancient way).
Every meeting, the colleague complains a lot, and my friend provides techy and convenient solutions.7 -
Help.
I'm a hardware guy. If I do software, it's bare-metal (almost always). I need to fully understand my build system and tweak it exactly to my needs. I'm the sorta guy that needs memory alignment and bitwise operations on a daily basis. I'm always cautious about processor cycles, memory allocation, and power consumption. I think twice if I really need to use a float there and I consider exactly what cost the abstraction layers I build come at.
I had done some web design and development, but that was back in the day when you knew all the workarounds for IE 5-7 by heart and when people were disappointed there wasn't going to be a XHTML 2.0. I didn't build anything large until recently.
Since that time, a lot has happened. Web development has evolved in a way I didn't really fancy, to say the least. Client-side rendering for everything the server could easily do? Of course. Wasting precious energy on mobile devices because it works well enough? Naturally. Solving the simplest problems with a gigantic mess of dependencies you don't even bother to inspect? Well, how else are you going to handle all your sensitive data?
I was going to compare this to the Arduino culture of using modules you don't understand in code you don't understand. But then again, you don't see consumer products or customer-specific electronics powered by an Arduino (at least not that I'm aware of).
I'm just not fit for that shooting-drills-at-walls methodology for getting holes. I'm not against neither easy nor pretty-to-look-at solutions, but it just comes across as wasteful for me nowadays.
So, after my hiatus from web development, I've now been in a sort of internet platform project for a few months. I'm now directly confronted with all that you guys love and hate, frontend frameworks and Node for the backend and whatever. I deliberately didn't voice my opinion when the stack was chosen, because I didn't want to interfere with the modern ways and instead get some experience out of it (and I am).
And now, I'm slowly starting to feel like it was OKAY to work like this.10 -
I was taking a test for an online class, and I noticed that all the pages had the .html suffix. Naturally, my curiosity was piqued because I was expecting them to have hidden this part of the URL. The pages were locked for 48 minutes but I wanted to know if I could somehow circumvent the timers.
After some digging around in the source, I found where they were changing everything.
It was a small .js script that was making the page work. I could see that I could actually choose what page to get to. After plugging in some of the links, I found that I could actually get to specific parts of the class.
Ended up completing the class in 1/4 the time it usually takes.
I win.
2 -
Windows 10 'App Store' Stole My Money.
So I work a 40 hour work week, sometimes more, same as anyone, on my feet, all day.
I get home, buy a little $3.99 app. Won't install. Check it again won't install. I check some guides. Follow all the standard commands, my purchase won't install. Use the tools. won't install.
Naturally I sent off what I'm good at, some hate filled invective
For fucks sake. I'm exhausted, have insomnia and want to wind down. And here microsoft is killing 32bit libraries to dispose of competing services like steam (also fuck gabe in his fat asshole) but I digress.
And they expect us to use their services? Spend our hard earned *fucking money*..and spend half an hour on their dumpster fire fucking 'walled garden' with nothing to fucking show for it?
No refund button. No chat option. Just a fucking feedback hub. Look at it some time. JUST LOOK AT IT. The motherfucking *feedback* hub *frozeup* in the process of my feedback. Microsoft is a sewer of negligent business practices and incompetence.
So I've chosen now to aim two heavy ion cannons at them and warned them too. Two twitter accounts, one with almost 10k followers and another with 15k.
Should have just offered a manual download button microsoft.
My money would have been better spent on alcohol. Cheap alcohol. It's not like it's a lot of money and I don't buy a lot online, but it's the principle. You're fucking *payment* process worked *just fucking fine*.
Anyway can anyone calculate the monetary damage a cumulative quarter million views over the course of a month will do to the reputation of the windows store in dollar amounts?
I'm betting it's going to be a lot fucking more than three fucking ninety nine.
Don't worry microsoft, I'm gonna take it out of your sweet fucking hide.22 -
I could bitch about XSLT again, as that was certainly painful, but that’s less about learning a skill and more about understanding someone else’s mental diarrhea, so let me pick something else.
My most painful learning experience was probably pointers, but not pointers in the usual sense of `char *ptr` in C and how they’re totally confusing at first. I mean, it was that too, but in addition it was how I had absolutely none of the background needed to understand them, not having any learning material (nor guidance), nor even a typical compiler to tell me what i was doing wrong — and on top of all of that, only being able to run code on a device that would crash/halt/freak out whenever i made a mistake. It was an absolute nightmare.
Here’s the story:
Someone gave me the game RACE for my TI-83 calculator, but it turned out to be an unlocked version, which means I could edit it and see the code. I discovered this later on by accident while trying to play it during class, and when I looked at it, all I saw was incomprehensible garbage. I closed it, and the game no longer worked. Looking back I must have changed something, but then I thought it was just magic. It took me a long time to get curious enough to look at it again.
But in the meantime, I ended up played with these “programs” a little, and made some really simple ones, and later some somewhat complex ones. So the next time I opened RACE again I kind of understood what it was doing.
Moving on, I spent a year learning TI-Basic, and eventually reached the limit of what it could do. Along the way, I learned that all of the really amazing games/utilities that were incredibly fast, had greyscale graphics, lowercase text, no runtime indicator, etc. were written in “Assembly,” so naturally I wanted to use that, too.
I had no idea what it was, but it was the obvious next step for me, so I started teaching myself. It was z80 Assembly, and there was practically no documents, resources, nothing helpful online.
I found the specs, and a few terrible docs and other sources, but with only one year of programming experience, I didn’t really understand what they were telling me. This was before stackoverflow, etc., too, so what little help I found was mostly from forum posts, IRC (mostly got ignored or made fun of), and reading other people’s source when I could find it. And usually that was less than clear.
And here’s where we dive into the specifics. Starting with so little experience, and in TI-Basic of all things, meant I had zero understanding of pointers, memory and addresses, the stack, heap, data structures, interrupts, clocks, etc. I had mastered everything TI-Basic offered, which astoundingly included arrays and matrices (six of each), but it hid everything else except basic logic and flow control. (No, there weren’t even functions; it has labels and goto.) It has 27 numeric variables (A-Z and theta, can store either float or complex numbers), 8 Lists (numeric arrays), 6 matricies (2d numeric arrays), 10 strings, and a few other things like “equations” and literal bitmap pictures.
Soo… I went from knowing only that to learning pointers. And pointer math. And data structures. And pointers to pointers, and the stack, and function calls, and all that goodness. And remember, I was learning and writing all of this in plain Assembly, in notepad (or on paper at school), not in C or C++ with a teacher, a textbook, SO, and an intelligent compiler with its incredibly helpful type checking and warnings. Just raw trial and error. I learned what I could from whatever cryptic sources I could find (and understand) online, and applied it.
But actually using what I learned? If a pointer was wrong, it resulted in unexpected behavior, memory corruption, freezes, etc. I didn’t have a debugger, an emulator, etc. I had notepad, the barebones compiler, and my calculator.
Also, iterating meant changing my code, recompiling, factory resetting my calculator (removing the battery for 30+ sec) because bugs usually froze it or corrupted something, then transferring the new program over, and finally running it. It was soo slowwwww. But I made steady progress.
Painful learning experience? Check.
Pointer hell? Absolutely.4 -
It was not me doing the screaming but one of my colleagues. He is a super programmer and joined our team early this year as my partner on frontend development.
We're a React/React Native dev house and he has always been uncomfortable with how loose it goes here because of dynamic typing. He has been advocating typescript and Angular since he started and I even allowed him to use typescript on one of the projects.
A month back I started to make jokes about how dead angular was (trigger alert) and he almost lost it. We are good friends so he as been taking it in good spirits.
Last week our boss allowed him a chance to propose a Tech stack for a new project. Naturally he started comparing Angular vs React. I chime in to trigger him again with "why would we work with a bloated zombie framework", he picked up his chair and almost threw it at me while screaming " React is just hacky ". I was laughing so hard and in the end we both did some research. We are proposing Jquery to our boss... (Evil laugh)1 -
So I was interviewing at company X, through recruiter A. It all went well - one of the best feedbacks I have ever received actually, but then they went quiet for a bit... only to have the recruiter A call me about 3 days later and tell me that apparently the project they had planned to get me on, was a no go for a while and that they would contact me again within a month or so.
Meanwhile, recruiter B called me up and sent me to company Y and asked me what my situation was at other interviews. I said that I was interviewing at company X and that they came back to me and said the project is delayed and they'll contact me within a month or so.
Recruiter B starts a rant about how he hates when companies do that and that he, as a recruiter, would loose trust in that company if something like that happened.
And now company Y goes quiet for 2 days. Recruiter B calls me and says exactly the same thing.
So naturally, I say - "ah that's a shame, you must be loosing trust in company Y now."
He pauses and says - "Well umm"... another big pause. "I see what you mean, but umm..." another pause and this awkward silence.
"thanks", I said and I hung up. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯7 -
So I'm in HS CS and some of us know how to code, and the others are struggling with variables (in python).
One of them asks: "Sir, why are doing python? I heard about java and how it changed the internet and stuff"
So naturally my teacher explains the difference (between JS and Java, in case your captain of the USS dumbass), but then described JS in the best way possible:
"JavaScript is basically the California of programming, its a really weird place where people mix everything up and nothing makes sense"4 -
VB3.
In my last rant I mentioned I used to convert VB3 code to .Net. Before that, I used to work on the VB3 product itself. This software emulated something from the real world, and as such complied with a bunch of regulations that changed on a regular basis, and always had additions and removals that were to be done on a strict schedule (e.g. "we're adding a new product next month, so we have to be able to sell it by the first of the month"). As such, it was a huge sprawling mess.
One day, I was given a task to change some feature slightly. The task was simple enough and really only required adding one line of code. I added that line and clicked "Run".
Error: Too Much Code
What? What do you mean too much code? I asked a colleague for help. "Oh, don't worry, it happens when a function is too long. Just remove one or two of the comments and try again." The comments were, naturally, old deleted code that was quite meaningless so I had no qualms about removing some. It worked, and I went on with my life.
This started happening on a regular basis on our larger functions. But there were always comments to remove so it wasn't a big issue.
One day, though, it happened on a five-line function. This was puzzling - the error had always happened when a function was too big but this one clearly wasn't. What could the error mean? I went to the same colleague.
Apparently, there's also a limit to how big the entire code base can be. "Just find a function that isn't used any more and delete it." And so I did. There were many such functions, responsible for calculating things which no longer existed so they were never called. For months, I'd find functions and remove them. Until there weren't any more. I checked every function and subroutine in our codebase, and they were all used; I checked every possible code path and they were all needed.
What do I do now, I asked? The colleague, who was an expert on VB3 but worked on another project, came and take a look.
"Look at all these small functions you made! No wonder you're running out of space!" Apparently each function created a lot of overhead in the compiled executable. The solution was clear. Combine small functions into large monolithic ones, possibly passing flags in them to do completely unrelated things. Oh, and don't comment on the different parts because we have no room for comments in our code base.
Ah, the good old days.5 -
Bloody hell I have been stuck for two hours on a problem and couldn't find any solutions. So naturally I asked my Senior for help. I was trying to export a js file like :
---------config.js--------
module.export = function (app){
//code here
}
-----------Index.js------------
var config = require('./config.js')
config(app)
but it would throw an error saying config is not a function. Wasted two hours only for my senior to point out that I missed an "s" in module.export 😑
Feels so stupid. bloody ass.6 -
I know people complain about Android Gradle takes so long to build (and I know the reason why, thanks to @DRHAX34) but for me that isn't what I have to wait for.
It's the shitty WiFi at work that causes issues/bugs I'll never experience normally lol
When my app builds I have to also connect to the internet and check for updates against the umbraco server, and it works if it fails to connect (naturally) but our internet somehow manages to stay connected enough to trick the app into doing continuous checks or some form of tiny and long downloads
I've been tempted and sometimes do use my own mobile data which would waste my tiny data (at the time)
Anyways fuck you shiternet lol -
I'm not enjoying my current experience with the web.
I feel sad, alone most of the time.
Let me disclaim first that I don't have like an apocalyptic view of the world, I actually think it's improving (in very broad terms).
I also understand that the web is a complex thing and everyone being happy with is going to be very unlikely, specially as more and more people use it, since the entropy will naturally increase.
I don't have solid evidence of what I'm saying next and I'm not even entirely what exactly I'm saying, but maybe I'm onto something.
I feel that when the internet first started, businessmen were like "meh, geek stuff".
But slowly, things changed, and every greedy person tried to just fucking unload his greed filled cum onto it
And now it feels like 1984. And I hate when people reeeee 1984. But it does feel like it.
The ads are like "ok, I know you like that other shit, but CHECK THIS SHIT OUT".
It's AI driven to maximize profits, with little care for people happiness.
I miss when youtube had related videos. The algorithm wasn't perfect but at least it was exactly that, related videos.
Now though, youtube likes to be smart. But not smart in a way that enriches your youtube experience.
It's smart in a way that maximizes ad revenue.
"what? did you think we were going to use AI to make you happier? that we were going to enrich your youtube experience?
NO MOTHER FUCKER! OF COURSE NOT. We're gonna use it to show you whatever shit that will make us richer faster."
Controls for customizing the recommended videos behaviour? Pff, no.
They're gonna decide for you what it is that you like
They're going to decide what you should be watching.
Everytime i turn on my samsung tv, the youtube app recomends me watching "BETTER THAN SEX EYE LINER". Jesus christ, what the shitcum, I'm the only motherfucker on the house that uses youtube, and I couldn't care less about this cunt's disguised ad video, let alone fucking eye liners.
Why youtube, why do you promote whatever porn video VEVO uploads?
Why do you ruin every youtube rewind?
Why do you pander to the lowest common denominator?
Why can't you be shining beacon, a moral company considering you're a cultural icon?
Fuck you youtube, and while we're at it, fuck you too samsung, I must have been drunk the day I bought this shitty closed source software piece of shit "smart".
And these are just 2 companies. The internet is FILLED with these greedy bastards. They have no passion for their products, for making people happy. They only have passion for the MUNNNEY.
Thanks a lot business schools, thanks a lot CEOs of the world, thanks for making the world a happier place.
Ok, now that I said that, I want to back up a bit.
Youtube may bot be perfect, but it's ad revenue system enables some youtubers I love to be able to make that their careers.
I appreciate that, so maybe youtube isn't that bad... so sorry for saying those horrible things man!8 -
God, I don't know whether I believe in you or not, but please kill all those people who play loud music in public.
So, I was travelling by a train two days ago. Halfway down the 15 hr journey, the guy next to me took out his laptop and started watching a movie, on speakers, in full volume. It naturally irritated me a lot, and I requested him to use head/earphones, to which he replied that he forgot his one back home. I told him to keep the volume down to which he got personal and put the volume down (maybe to 95%). Since I hate human interaction, I had to plug in my own earphones to keep his bitchy noise away.
The same thing happened today on the bus, the only two differences being:
• mobile phone instead of laptop
• said he doesn't own headphones
• claimed he could do whatever he wanted as it was not illegal
Now, I wished he fell of the bus and died, but the world ain't fair, so he still lives.14 -
Inappropriate experience at work: One of our project managers got arrested one day for fraud. Apparently an employee had been in the middle of an online purchase and walked away from their desk. He happened to see the unmasked entry of the CC info (this was before websites cared about masking sensitive form inputs). I guess the temptation was too great…and he was too stupid to realize he’d get caught…and he jotted it all down. He made thousands of dollars in purchases which, naturally, eventually led back to him.
The same guy, before he got arrested, had made a joke when someone in an office team email said “Feel free to have some cake in the break room.” He replied “No need to do anything to me for the cake.” His first name was “Free”.5 -
Fuck our new project manager.
Literally all she does in her time is schedule meetings for others and send us emails stating that X needs to be done by date or why are we delayed with Y. Then she even manages to completely screw us with the meetings she schedules.
Today I woke up to seeing a beautiful gapless column of colorful rectangles in my dairy.... for today. And last time I saw this Monday it only had 2.5 hours of meetings!!
Now a lot of us from our team had the Friday afternoon off so it may be that she did this beautiful piece of artwork during that time, in which case she could somewhat rightfully say that we should have taken a look at it. But we actually have a convention to only schedule planning meetings for Mondays which these fucking aren't and even if she hadn't known this, who the fuck schedules a ton of meetings to Monday?! from a Friday afternoon?!?!
By the way the new pretty pink and orange meetings I have today are about actually important topics in between which I would normally appreciate to grab a tea or at least use the fucking restroom. Officially I only have a 45 minute lunch break all day.
Oh and naturally she sets up the meetings as organiser so that we can only suggest her new times and can't change it on our own.
But naturally PM lady never actually attends the meetings because she wouldn't understand shit. So when my fav female colleague, Sammy and I joined our 11am meeting, the first thing Sammy said - well after I greeted her by "wtf" - is to just leave the call on while we grab brunch.
So here I am sitting in the close by park with my brunch and thought I could use the now extended lunch break time efficiently by ranting my ass of and asking you guys why the fuck such people like our PM get paid.5 -
Got a new eval board. It came in with a stock firmware, had its own IP and naturally its own webGUI. I wanted to check what was under the hood. So I SSH'd in to the device, and was prompted to enter the username. There weren't any specs or documentation.
*Hmm, let's try root*
User: root
Password: *Eh? Well, what the heck* admin
.
.
.
root@evalboard#
Muhahaha!!! Meet your hacker, eval board!3 -
!dev
I gained 20+ kilos during covid.
By now I have lost about 19 of those. And no, I didn't do any specific sports or diet. I lost them via ✨anxiety✨.
And yes, I am naturally skinny.
I still have a good 20 to lose to be back at my ""usual"" weight tho. ✌️ (Gained those thanks to depression, hormonal disorder, and related meds)28 -
Sent another developer instructions for generating an SSH key pair and to send me the public key. He did so. There was a problem getting it to work. So, naturally, he emailed me the private key.1
-
devRant is so refreshing. my circle runs more in the LinkedIn space, so i naturally get on there more. but every few weeks i come back to devRant and get the pure, honest thoughts of developers and it’s always great
just appreciate the realness on here
Merry Christmas everybody5 -
We were 6 devs on a big project that needed to be completed in 3 months. Probably my first project as a full-stack dev and the work was very demanding.
The senior of my team was a very sharp and energetic, but also a very "in your face" kinda guy. Like, he was cool, but sometimes a little too much to handle for some people.
Anyway, this guy "Senior dev" worked faster (naturally) and harder than the rest of us and was always willing to help if somebody had problems with a framework, tool or other technology. Also, there was this other guy also a good dev (second best I would say) that just hated the first guy's guts for being "rude and obnoxious" as he put it.
One day, the PM and the senior had an argument about a major change that the PM had agreed to (just to save face with the client) that will force the team to come to work on the weekend. In the end he saved us the trouble of going throught that and the PM had to tell the client that the change wouldn't be made. From then on it went downhill for "Sr. dev" in the company. Until one day he was told that his contract was not gonna be renewed.
Short after, he showed some of us a screen cap. somebody sent him of an email from the "hateful" dev to the PM in which he wrote he had heard that the senior guy was leaving and he couldn't be happier because he was "damaging, problematic and a stressful part of his job". That was such a dick move, we thought he should get back at the guy.
So he sent a fake email to the PM using the "hateful" guy's email ID, that read:
"Dear PM. I'm sorry I said those things about 'Senior dev', I guess I'm just mad that he's a better professional than me and mad that I was born with no genitalia".
After the senior dev left I worked on one more project with the "hateful" dev and he was let go mid project for "not being proactive and making little effort on completing the project". -
I’m debugging some intermittently failing specs.
The problem is, they only fail when RUNNING THE ENTIRE FUCKING FILE, which, naturally, takes TEN FUCKING YEARS.
And it’s not like they fail when they get run first. No. They only fail when run near the end.
ASDFHSGSKSHDHDKAJDKF17 -
My friend, Gavin, an air steward (a job that he had done for decades), told me about an incident at work. He said that (shockingly to me) passengers occasionally die on a flight (particularly long-haul), just as a matter of course. This can be because people sometimes travel to visit loved ones BECAUSE they are dying, people sometimes find travelling itself stressful (so it can exacerbate an existing medical condition), or simply that, if you took a large number of people and shut them up in a space together for some considerable time, some of them would pop off through sheer statistical probability. Cabin crew are, apparently, fully trained to deal within this eventually in a calm, almost routine manner.
This particular flight, Gavin was working with another gay man: Peter, who was actually a VERY funny personality. Camp, extravagant and loud, Peter really lit up the place. But naturally, when the very elderly male passenger in seat 38b died peacefully in his sleep halfway across the Atlantic, Peter acted (like the entire crew), with decorum and dignity. As per the protocol, all the lights in the cabin were dimmed. A hush fell over the passengers (Gavin told me that, although no announcement is ever made, the other passengers nearly always instinctively know what's happened, with the news spreading via the media of hushed whispers and nudges). Then, as per standing instructions, two of the crew carefully lifted the deceased out of his seat and gently carried him to the crew station where he was laid down on a bed for the remainder of the flight.
After the late gentleman disappeared behind the discreetly drawn curtain, you could have heard a pin drop. There was a demure pause during which, slowly, the lights went back up.
Suddenly Peter's cheery face appeared, poking through the gap in the drapes. He looked around, blinking brightly with curiosity at the seated passengers, and said, in a voice that echoed around the whole cabin:
"SO! Anyone else have the fish?"
He narrowly avoided getting sacked.10 -
I quit abusive relationship. I quit smoking. I quit vaping salt nicotine, yes, the one that vape bloggers tell you is impossible to quit. I overcame opioid drugs addiction that developed when I recovered after a surgery back in 2015.
My last addiction is sugar. Yesterday night was the night when I ate about 100 grams of it in one take, feeling like I need more and more to take that hunger away. It felt EXACTLY like when I was hitting my 50mg vape literally every 20 seconds no matter the headache and dizziness.
I’m already insulin-resistant. After I’ve eaten all that sugar I felt really thirsty and then it hit me. I don’t want diabetes. I don’t want to inject myself. And I’m already insulin-resistant. It’s not me who crave sugar, it’s my internal animal and it only understands the language of pain and fear of death.
After I quit it, I’m officially a superhuman. Addicted to nothing but self-expression. That’s what I like, that’s who I naturally am.12 -
This happened when I got my first IT support job. Naturally as a 1st line support you get to do the fun and not at all tedious thing of resetting passwords.
So I take a ticket from one of our HR people where they say that 3 new employees can't access a certain system.
Without going into too much detail here I reset the passwords according to our procedures and be done with it.
But at the end of the day it turns out that one of those 3 new employees was the new CEO, and he was known to be not the most pleasant of people to work with.
So ofc there was a chain of emails with the words "How can someone not know who I am" in there somewhere.
Had a nice stressful weekend wondering if I'll still have a job after Monday and we had a whole new password reset procedure created because of that.2 -
A popular social media website in my country (which my friends and I were working on it's new design) was hacked and everyone on the dev side of the website was invited to the ministry of communications, believing we were going to discuss security of user data. The other guys (working on the back-end) were friends with the CEO (if you want to call it that) and naturally came to the meeting. They started to talk about the girls of their city. Meanwhile about 1.2 million user data encrypted with MD5 was out there.6
-
New country, new company, new team, new projects.
I'm supposed to be the TL of a team working on a React project.
A guy in his late 40s celebrates himself as "the senior", he basically just finished watching a youtube thing, React 101 crash course or similar. The other two juniors who did only Wordpress so far venerate him like a god.
The code, of course, is one on the finest pieces of crap I ever had the pleasure to deal with in my life: naturally a bunch of JQuery plugins for everything, no tests, no state management, side effects everywhere, shared state and globals like hell, everything written in ES3/ES5 style, no types, no docs, build and deploy totally manual, deep props drilling at every level... and not to mention the console.log() shipped in prod.
First day, already headache.
Full rewrite start tomorrow.
Hiring real devs as well.4 -
So I was using Coffee Meet Bagel to talk to a girl who is currently travelling. We noticed that the messages were sorted out of orders with incorrect time due to the different time zone we are in.
So naturally, I sent them a big report.
Their support team replied by telling me to do the usual. Restart, update, reinstall, delete everything etc (it’s their default answer!!).
I told them I have done those.
They then rephrased my bug report and told me this is expected as the chat was between two parties with a different time so the messages are sorted out of order due to the time difference.
I guess most developer will get ticked off by that... so I sent them a few pseudo code on how chat across different time zones should have been dealt with...
Life of a developer. Debugging and coding even when on a dating app... 🤷🏽♂️
11 -
Discord and captchas can go get fucked in the ass by a rusty, tetanus ridden 2m pole....
I changed my discord-password yesterday and, naturally it prompted me for a login today. So I enter my new password and that motherfucking spawn from satans anus himself with the name of captcha threw itself at me... I seriously had to select fucking street signs for about 5min before Discord let me know that I apparently logged in from a new IP (thanks VPN) and therefore needed to confirm my e-Mail address. Alright, so off to my inbox I go.
SURPRISE, I also changed my password there yesterday (LastPass Security Challenge, I changed like 30 passwords yesterday) and guess what was waiting for me?... If you guessed a captcha, you just got full fucking marks. So I was busy selecting busses and streets for the next 3min again before I could finally log into that piece of trash and autorize my IP-address and log into Discord6 -
I work in big data and security analytics... So naturally I am a very detail oriented and analytical person.... Something that I constantly get told off about for 'over analysing' every personal situation.... Especially by my wife!
Today she was chatting to our best friend on WhatsApp who's been travelling Europe for 6 months seeing how life is etc... At the end of the conversation I point out he never once told her where he was and avoided the questions.... And that I was sure he was gonna turn up tonight....
She tells me I'm over analysing and full of it as she's in Spain.... Not even an hour later he walked through our front door and we are in the pub having an awesome catch up!
Who said I'm over analytical! More like right!?4 -
Today was a day at work that I felt like I made a significant contribution. It was not a lot of code. Actually it was a difference of 3 characters.
I am developing an industrial server so that my employer can provide access to their machines to enterprise industrial systems. You know, the big boys toys. Probably in fucking java...
Anyway, I am putting this server on an embedded system. So naturally you want to see how much serving a server can serve. In this case the device in more processor starved than memory starved. So I bumped up the speed of the serving from 1000mS to 100mS per sample. This caused the processor to jump from 8% of one core (as read from top) to 70%. Okay, 10x more sampling then 10x approx cpu usage. That is good. I know some basic metrics for a certain amount of data for a couple of different sampling rates.
Now, I realized this really was not that much activity for this processor. I mean, it didn't seem to me that it "took much" to see a large increase of processor usage. So I started wondering about another process on the system that was eating 60 to 70 % all the time. I know it updated a screen that showed some not often needed data from its display among controlling things. Most of the time it will be in a cabinet hidden from the world. I started looking at this code and figured out where the display code was being called.
This is where it gets interesting. I didn't write this code. Another really good programmer I work with wrote this. It also seemed to be pretty standard approach. It had a timer that fired an event every 50mS. This is 20 times per second. So 20 fps if you will. I thought, What would happen if I changed this to 250mS? So I did. It dropped the processor usage to 15%! WTF?! I showed another programmer: WTF?! I showed the guy who wrote it: WTF?! I asked what does it do? He said all it does it update the display. He said: Lets take to 1000mS! I was hesitant, but okay. It dropped to 5%!
What is funny is several people all said: This is running kinda hot. It really shouldn't be this hot.
Don't assume, if you have a hunch, play with it if its safe to do so. You might just shave off 55 to 60 % cpu usage on your system.
So the code I ended up changing: "50" to "1000".16 -
!rant
Last night I had a minor hiccup with a iOS/Android CI service I absolutely love (BuddyBuild), so naturally I contact their support to address the issue and ask about potential new plans. A couple minutes later I find out I'm talking with the CEO! Turns out he's a really nice and receptive guy who cares a lot about their service!
How cool is that!? It was nice to tell him how much I've enjoyed their product and about the headache it's saved me!3 -
I work as the entire I.T. department of a small business which products are web based, so naturally, I do tech support in said website directly to our clients.
It is normal that the first time a new client access our site they run into questions, but usually they never call again since it is an easy website.
There was an unlucky client which ran into unknown problems and blamed the server.
I couldn't determine the exact cause, but my assumption was a network error for a few seconds which made the site unavailable and the user tried to navigate the site through the navbar and exited the process he was doing. It goes without saying but he was very angry.
I assured him there was nothing wrong with the site, and told him that it would not be charged for this reason. Finally i told him that if he had the same problem, to let me know instead of trying to fix it himself.
The next time he used the site I received a WhatsApp message saying:
- there is something clearly wrong with the site... It has been doing this for so long!
And attached was a 10 second video which showed that he filled a form and never pressed send (my forms have small animations and text which indicates when the form is being send and error messages when an error occurs, usually not visible because the data they send is small and the whole process is quite fast)
To which I answer
- It seems that the form has not been send that's why it looks that way
- So... What an I supposed to do?
- click send
It took a while but the client replied
- ok
To this day I wonder how much time did the client stared at the form cursing the server. -
The one that made me quit was when I was told I had to drive to the data centre and do a backup every day over the bank holiday weekend with no extra pay or time off. For no reason. And yes I know I'm an idiot for doing it but whatever.
The one that made me walk out, a month and a half later, was when I came in on Monday morning to discover that my boss had entirely rewritten the code I had spent literal months on in one weekend. Naturally he'd broken it and said it was an improvement.2 -
I am all for not senselessly disturbing the natural grown chaos on my desk.
big picture here
https://imgur.com/a/dAMBq0n
2 -
When I cost the company half a million.
We recently got incubated and signed up for an accelerator programme, it was a life changing moment for me especially after having worked with my startup unpaid for almost a year. So naturally, it meant a lot to me.
But my friends / colleagues had to leave for a trip leaving me to work along side this other startup in the same batch. They needed a front end guy for their web stuff so we naturally offered our services except they needed me to work on Angular and I didn't know jack shit about it but pretended I did.
I couldn't reach out to my friends for help because I felt bad and wanted to prove my worth, and I pressured myself to the point where I called the client our batch mate brought on board making him leave.
I lost credibility as a professional, trust as a friend and my place at the office because it's gotten extremely awkward to go back there.
I fucked up my one way ticket out of my current certain household circumstances and realized I'm just a shitty developer who's all talk and no show.9 -
Here's one that involves Windows, Linux (at the same time!), WInZip, Python, Lua and Minecraft, sort of.
So, when I get depressed I often find that old 2011 Minecraft videos help a lot from the nostalgia boost. If its stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid. Anyways, I was thinking about how much fun it must have been to just fuck around with code and make something like Minecraft. Naturally, I got a huge code boner and really wanted to do something I hadn't in a while: binding c to a higher level language.
This time around, I wanted to try Python. C + Python seems like a good pair. I watched a tutorial and it seemed pretty interesting and simple enough but I remembered that I actually like Lua a lot better than Python, so I went to the download page of Lua.
The download is a tar.gz so I let out a sigh and start typing "WinZip" into google. But no, fuck that, I hate 3rd party decompression programs on Windows. They all just give me this eerie feeling.
"This would be so much fucking easier on Linux"...
I remember that I haven't tried the Windows Subsystem for Linux. I guess it's time, isn't it?
I read the docs of how to do it. Nice little touch, they tell you how to enable WSL from PowerShell but don't mention the GUI way to do it. It's genuinely a nice touch.
So I get everything installed and go to the app store to choose a distro. I want Ubuntu. I click the Install button...
...
... "Something unexpected happened"
Windows and their fucking useless error messages. Jesus, okay. I restart computer. Same issue. I update Windows. Same thing. Uninstall WSL. Reboot. Install WSL. Reboot. Same thing. HOLY SHIT.
Went to bed. Woke up. Tried to install Ubuntu.
"Yea ok lul i'll work this time for no reason"
Finally unzipped Lua.4 -
I work for a small company with about 10 employees working full-time in the office. We all report directly to the CEO, Phil. When the pandemic hit, Phil went into full panic mode and had us all move our desks 12+ feet apart, wash our hands every 20 minutes, sterilize everything in between uses, etc. Nothing super weird, and better than having no reaction at all, but it was a hypervigilant process that made me expect him to be very accommodating when our state went on lockdown.
Boy, was I wrong. Our industry is considered essential so we’re still open, but Phil is being odd when it comes to working from home. For background, about 95% of our work can be done remotely. The other 5% would require about 15 minutes in the office once a week. I was the first one to pose the idea of working from home and Phil nervously agreed, but only let do it three days a week. My coworkers were given similar instructions but were “encouraged to come in every day, if possible.” A few of them do.
Since then, Phil has gotten pretty weird about the situation. He refers to people who are working from home as being “off work” (which is NOT the case, we are all working and available while at home, which he knows because he calls us for work-related things during work hours!). Today, Phil asked me if my coworker Travis was in his office, and I said Travis was working from home, and Phil replied in a sour tone, “So he’s not working then, great.” He has made similar comments about my other coworkers. When I’m working from home, he’ll call me and ask in a sarcastic tone, “What are you even working on today?” Or he’ll give me an assignment and end with, “Can you actually do work on this today? I need you working.” One time, he called while I was in the bathroom and when I called him back less than five minutes later, I was told that I “need to be available and not screwing around.”
The weirdest thing is that none of us has had productivity problems! My job is such that I can tell when anyone is slacking even a little and I haven’t noticed any issues. Personally, I’ve actually been MORE productive! And I’ve never been accused of “screwing around” while at the office before, so this attitude has baffled me.
He is so convinced that we aren’t working that he cut our work-from-home time down two days a couple weeks ago, and now it’s being cut down to one day as of next week – when COVID cases are higher in our city than ever!
My guess is that because Phil isn’t physically seeing us work, he assumes we aren’t working. CCing him on stuff to leave “proof” doesn’t work because he doesn’t read his email. He is also naturally a nightmare of a micromanager (and an across-the-office yeller) so not being as “in control” is probably freaking him out. But what is the best way to handle this?10 -
A rant about pretentious people:
So last week I walk into college and I find that a new "Machine Learning Crash Course" is being offered by a senior. Now I'm a beginner in this domain, and know the just basic concepts and math behind it. Naturally, I was super curious about this and decided to talk the student who was supposed to teach the course.
I asked him where he learned from, and mentioned that I'm an interested beginner. He just replied, "YouTube".
Okaaaaayyy?
Now I'm suspicious of this guy, so I asked him if he's worked on any related projects I could look into, to which he replies, "Not yet, but I'm working on some".
Now I'm SUPER suspicious. A guy that's got no experience with the subject, yet is teaching others about it?
Get this, at this point he rudely asks me if I have anything else to say. So I asked him a super simple question: "Do you know what gradient descent is?". He replies "Uhh, no, but I've heard about it".
I lost it.
HOW DID THIS GUY MANAGE TO CONVINCE THE HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT AND SEVERAL OTHER PROFESSORS TO TEACH A MACHINE LEARNING CRASH COURSE?
People like him need to go away.
/rant4 -
Another chapter in the life of a novice programmer:
I work a lot with PHP and Laravel, but I feel I'm ready for different challenges. I spent all of last week searching online and getting advice on what language I should focus on next. My two first options were Java and C... So naturally I ended up choosing Python :P
At least I'm certain now and already started studying and wow, I think I made the right choice!3 -
So I joined this financial institution back in Nov. Selling themselves as looking for a developer to code micro-services for a Spring based project and deploying on Cloud. I packed my stuff, drove and moved to the big city 3500 km away. New start in life I thought!
Turns out that micro-services code is an old outdated 20 year old JBoss code, that was ported over to Spring 10 years ago, then let to rot and fester into a giant undocumented Spaghetti code. Microservices? Forget about that. And whats worse? This code is responsible for processing thousands of transactions every month and is currently deployed in PROD. Now its your responsibility and now you have to get new features complied on the damn thing. Whats even worse? They made 4 replicas of that project with different functionalities and now you're responsible for all. Ma'am, this project needs serious refactoring, if not a total redesign/build. Nope! Not doing this! Now go work at it.
It took me 2-3 months just to wrap my mind around this thing and implement some form of working unit tests. I have to work on all that code base by myself and deliver all by myself! naturally, I was delayed in my delivery but I finally managed to deliver.
Time for relief I thought! I wont be looking at this for a while. So they assign me the next project: Automate environment sync between PROD and QA server that is manually done so far. Easy beans right? And surely enough, the automation process is simple and straightforward...except it isnt! Why? Because I am not allowed access to the user Ids and 3rd party software used in the sync process. Database and Data WareHouse data manipulation part is same story too. I ask for access and I get denied over and over again. I try to think of workarounds and I managed to do two using jenkins pipeline and local scripts. But those processes that need 3rd party software access? I cannot do anything! How am I supposed to automate job schedule import on autosys when I DONT HAVE ACCESS!! But noo! I must think of plan B! There is no plan B! Rather than thinking of workarounds, how about getting your access privileges right and get it right the first time!!
They pay relatively well but damn, you will lose your sanity as a programmer.
God, oh god, please bless me with a better job soon so I can escape this programming hell hole.
I will never work in finance again. I don't recommend it, unless you're on the tail end of your career and you want something stable & don't give a damn about proper software engineering principles anymore.3 -
Spent a lot of time designing a proper HTTP (dare I even say RESTful) API for our - what is until now a closed system, using a little-known/badly-supported message-over-websocket protocol to do RPC-style communications - supposedly enterprise-grade product.
I make the API spec go through several rounds of review with the rest of the dev team and customers/partners alike. After a few iterations, everybody agrees that the spec will meet the necessary requirements.
I start implementing according to spec. Because this is the first time we're actually building proper HTTP handling into the product, but we of course have to make it work at least somewhat with the RPC-style codebase, it's mostly foundational work. But still, I manage to get some initial endpoints fully implemented and working as per the spec we agreed. The first PR is created, reviews are positive, the direction is clear and what's there already works.
At this point in time, I leave on my honeymoon for two weeks. Naturally, I assume that the remaining endpoints will be completed following the outlines/example of the endpoints which I built. When I come back, the team mentions that the implementation is completed and I believe all is well.
The feature is deployed selectively to some alpha customers to start validation testing before the big rollout. It's been like that for a good month, until a few days ago when I get a question related to a PoC integration which they can't seem to get to work.
I start investigating and notice that the API hasn't been implemented according to the previously agreed upon spec at all. Not only did the team manage to implement the missing functionality in strange and some even broken ways, they also managed to refactor my previously working endpoints into being non-compliant.
Now, I'm a flexible guy. It's not because something isn't done exactly as I've imagined it that it's automatically bad. However, I know from experience that designing a good/clear/future-proof API is a tricky exercise. I've put a lot of time and effort into deliberate design decisions that made up the spec that we all reviewed repeatedly and agreed upon. The current implementation might also be fine, but I now have to go over each endpoint again and reason about whether the implementation still fulfills the requirements (both soft and hard) that we set out to meet.
I'm met with resistance, pushback and disbelief from product management and dev co-workers alike when I raise the concern that the API might actually not be production-ready (while I'm frantically rewriting my integration tests and figuring out how the actual implementation works in comparison to what was spec'ed).
Oh, and did I mention that product management wants to release this by end-of-week?!7 -
While reviewing a PR from one of our newer FE devs, I ended up spending more time than I would like mulling over its composition. The work was acceptable for the most part; the code worked. The part that got me was the heavy usage of options objects.
When encountering the options object pattern (or anti-pattern, at times) in complex scenarios, I have to resist the urge to stop whatever I'm doing and convert it to the builder pattern/smack them in the head with a software design manual. As much as I would like to, code janitor is one of the least valuable activities I engage in daily, and consistently telling someone to go back to the drawing board for work that is functional, but not excellent is a great way to kill morale. Usually, I'll add a note on the PR, approve it, add a brown bag or two on that sort of thing, and make attendance mandatory for repeat slackers. Skills building and catharsis all rolled up in a tiny ball of investing in your people.
Builders make things so much cleaner; they inform users what actions are available in a context; they tend to be immutable, and when done well, provide an intuitive fluent interface for configuration that removes the guesswork. As a bonus, they're naturally compositional, so you can pass it around and accumulate data and only execute the heavy lifting bits when you need to. As a bonus, with typescript, the boilerplate is generally reduced as well, even without any code generation. And they're not just a dumping ground for whatever shit someone was too lazy to figure out how to integrate into the API neatly.
They're more work in js-land, sure; you can't annotate @builder like with Lombok, but they're generally not all that much work and friendlier to use.
9 -
so few people have seen my 6 years java programming buddy. here's his newest python excel manipulating code and - naturally - inclusion of the allfunction - doNothing().
7 -
Building my own router was a great idea. It solved almost all of my problems.
Almost.
Just recently have I started to build a GL CI pipeline for my project. >100 jobs for each commit - quite a bundle. Naturally, I have used up all my free runners' time after a few commits, so I had to build myself a runner. "My old i7 should do well" - I thought to myself and deployed the GL runner on my local k8s cluster.
And my router is my k8s master.
And this is the ping to my router (via wifi) every time after I push to GL :)
DAMN IT!
P.S. at least I have Noctua all over that PC - I can't hear a sound out of it while all the CPUs are at 100%
12 -
At the first company I worked for out of college, the CEO was a bit like a child. Whenever he came up with a new feature he wanted to add to the product, it had to be done asap otherwise we were going to "miss the boat." Every single time.
So rewind to a few years ago. It's a normal day at work and then suddenly my team lead and the CEO call my team into the conference room. The CEO starts telling us about this industry conference (we were in online dating) that was happening and this flashy new company dating company was going to be showing off this awesome search feature.
Naturally, our CEO concocted a Hail Mary plan of how our company was going to upstage this company and get all of the press to write about us instead. Basically, the "plan" was for us to build a brand new search feature of our own, in the week before the conference, and then he stated that the press would "have to write about us because ours will be better."
Everyone on my team knew it was ridiculous but we were pretty young and naive so we busted our asses to get this search feature out the door in the short week. The Friday before we stayed until like 2 AM. It was a little bit fun because the people on my team were cool, but the whole situation was absurd and no one, except the CEO, thought this had any chance of working.
Annnnddd in the end we didn't get an ounce of press, the search feature was pulled from our site, and the "awesome" company that we were so worried about getting all the press is out of business. But hey, we did get it done!1 -
So salty. Just got off from a long day at work with my coworkers after a significant sprint, so we all go to karaoke to celebrate and let loose. But naturally I have to be under 21, and the karaoke place cards, so I end up taking an Uber home by myself, which felt really fucking embarrassing. I wish there were venues in the city that didn't require you to be above the magical number of 21 years of age to have a good time.5
-
In January this year, I began working in the office three days a week. Since last year, I have been engaged in text conversations with a girl, primarily about work-related matters as she was looking to pursue higher studies.
As someone who appreciates goal-oriented individuals, I maintained a conversation with her without appearing too needy.
Since our interactions were limited to chat, they remained somewhat superficial. However, ever since I saw her in person at the office, I started developing feelings for her. At the time, I was going through some personal challenges, which led to overwhelming and irrational thoughts.
Gradually, our casual chats progressed, and by February , I confessed my feelings to her. It was a mistake on my part because we had never been on a proper date before that day, and I hadn't even confirmed if she was already in a committed relationship.
We went out together and had a long conversation, during which it became clear that she was already committed to someone else, and that she had never thought of me in a romantic way.
This realization left me kind of sad, and I didn't do much work that day.
At the end of that day, I noticed someone sitting in the office lobby—a stranger to me, but someone who worked for the same company.
Guess who? Correct. A random girl.
She approached me and invited me to spend time at a nearby DJ event. She had a preference for taller men, and you know, as I am naturally tall and hairy, she found me attractive, I guess or not.
I felt like I had just experienced a breakup. Should I go with another woman ? I didn't feel quite right about that.
I did the obvious thing. I hesitated but ultimately decided to go with her to the DJ event without much thought.
We spent some time together, and afterward, I dropped her off at her place. However, I didn't have any strong feelings for this second girl. It could have been because she made the first move.
and it felt like something I didn't have to work hard for.
Fast forward to a sports day where I was feeling so happy after losing most of the games I participated in. I didnt even count the games I disqualified, by the way
Guess who is with me this time ?
Another girl, again a stranger to me, sat near me and started talking. She spoke about herself and her past relationships, displaying a remarkable ability to understand and use sarcasm—an uncommon trait among girls in my experience. It seemed like she really wanted someone to talk to.
She kept talking, and the next day, I asked her out for lunch. However, she said she wasn't interested in me romantically, which caught me off guard. It was perplexing that a simple lunch invitation led to such a defensive reaction from her.
The following day or some other day, or month , one of my colleagues pointed out a girl and mentioned that he didn't think he could ever date her as she seemed solely interested in long-term relationships.
I thought he might be right and that maybe it was best to let such people go for now. So I let her go. Yeah, you wish.
I approached her and learned about her family. We had a few encounters during the sports day, mostly revolving around sports and how badly i messed up games in the events.
Returning to the present, I asked her out. However, she expressed concerns that things could become uncomfortable if we went out. Since then, I haven't seen her because she moved to another office a few blocks away.
The next morning, a newcomer joined the team. She was slightly older, and by that time, I was confident in my ability to make anyone uncomfortable with lame jokes. So, I decided not to disturb her. Surprisingly, the same jokes that previously had mixed results were well-received by her. One thing led to another, and we went out. Unfortunately, she was dealing with depression, so I let her go after a few dates.
Now, let's go back to the first girl I mentioned, the one who stirred up my "feelings."
I decided to approach her, but she became furious and threatened to complain about me or have others take action against me.
I stormed out of her cabin. Later, I asked her for the reason behind her response. She said it was because she noticed me flirting with others around the office after I left her. She didn't appreciate that.
Unexpectedly, the Head of HR contacted me, and they wanted to have a talk, which happened yesterday.
Guess what?13 -
So at the old job, i needed support for an issue relating to Amazon S3. We used a third party Python plugin for sending files to our buckets, but had some pretty severe performance issues when trying a 2-way sync.
Naturally, I sought help on StackOverflow, and was asked to share my config. Without much thought, I pasted the config file.
Next comment made me aware that our API id and key was listed in this config (pretty rediculous to keep such private info in the same file as configuration, but oh well).
I edited my question and removed the keys, and did not think about the fact that revisions are stored.
Two weeks later, my boss asks me if I know why the Amazon bill is for 25.000$ when it used to be <100$ 😳
I've never been so scared in my life. Luckily, Amazon was nice enough to waive the entire fee, and I leaned a little about protecting vital information4 -
not universal, but works for me:
1. start listening to long video/podcast/talkshow i'm interested in
2. (optional) think about all the physical things i should do, such as cleaning the house, running errands, etc. conclude "nah, i'd rather stay at the computer".
3. open the project i'm working on, thinking "while i listen, i might as well muck about with this for a bit". the key is for the thought to be duration-indeterminate and non-commital, so it feels like an idea for a voluntary idle activity.
4. start mucking around with the project, starting with the simplest smallest tasks, to slowly shift my focus away from what i'm listening to, so it gradually becomes the background thing as the work gets into foreground of my concentration without me even noticing. this also naturally shifts me towards the more important and complicated tasks in the project
5. naturally lose track of time, realizing i've been working for 2 to 3 hours without break only after what i'm listening to ends (sometimes not even then)
6. at that point, take a break, stretch my legs, get some food, watch some 20-30 minute thing with full attention.
7. find a new long-form mostly audio thing to listen to, and go to step 4. repeat.
8. i found i can work like this 8 to sometimes 20 hours straight in a nice atmosphere, without feeling like i spent the time working with all the mental exhaustion it brings, instead it feeling like "i was listening to interesting/entertaining things and mucking around with some stuff on the side", with all the feeling of "i've been idling the whole time" except the work is actually done, or at least i made a progress. it feels almost like procrastinating except without the guilt because i can see i've done a lot through that time. kind of a good compromise between total procrastination and working your ass off into complete anxiety/depression2 -
At work today I met an api that redefines http status codes to mean something else. Naturally this makes integrating between systems a whole thing when system a keeps spitting out 207 and system b will not accept anything other than 200. Thanks for nothing. WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER WANT TO DO THAT THO? there's just no good reason to.
Anyway hens how r yous?, hope you're all doing well and that your coffee is as strong and black as the void <36 -
About a decade ago there was a torrent site for audiobooks audiobookbay I think?, if you forgot your password to your username they would literally just give you a new password on the next page. Naturally being a 1337H4X0R teenager I found the username of one of the admins and got into their account on the site. I don't know if they ever fixed that but that was a serious wtf moment.
Edit: just checked this flaw has not been patched.8 -
So for context, I'm doing an Apprenticeship in IT and naturally I've been put on help desk.
I've recently been given a phone on my desk since I'm trusted enough and know enough about our software that there's no risk to me accepting calls.
I get the standard ones, a number from a different country, poorly pronouncing a co-workers name, asking if they can speak to them. I give my normal response, "I'll just check if they're in a meeting and I'll get back to you" (which they somehow always are) and ask if they would like to leave a message. They obviously don't since they're usually scams.
Since Tuesday I've started getting calls from "BT Technical Support". I don't use BT. My company doesn't use BT. So, it's clearly a scam.
Yesterday, the same guy calls me up, Thomas he says his name is. I go along with it for a while, agreeing that I've noticed our network has been slow until the point where he asks me to begin to install TeamViewer. I realise what he's going to do so I ask him what the problem with our network is.
I hear him start to respond but he stops. He's got no clue what to say, so I say to him, "Thomas mate. I think our biggest problem with our BT network is that we don't have BT."
He puts the phone down.
So I ask you for help, lovely people of devRant.
I have a Windows 10 VM ready to go. I have a couple notepad files labelled as "Passwords" and "Bank Details". What else can I throw on there to make this guy think he's hit the jackpot without really causing too much damage?
Any ideas would be appreciated. <36 -
So excited! My brand new drive finally shows up in the mail today so I naturally want to install it right away.
Power down, install drive, power up.
Windows decided now is the perfect time for an update! 30 minutes and counting....on 84%....for 30 minutes....
FML
1 -
Users.
For once they used their brains.
For once they thought about repercussions of clicking on inconspicuous links in emails.
And naturally it happened when I sent out a legitimate email to stop their shopping sprees.
But then again, I would rather have paranoid users than clicky-go-lucky.
3 -
My fellow dev (a younger guy) and I have been having a lot of disagreements with the lead dev (obviously a more experienced, older guy).
We can have arguments with him all day long, to explain and convince him that he's not that right, or not right at all.
Or we can keep silent and wait for shit to happen.
I'm already applying the stfu strategy myself... Because the other way round is exhausting.
At the same time, naturally, I'm looking for opportunities somewhere else. And, naturally, in those job ads, they state "X years of experience".
This further sets me off.
I'm sick of having an argument shut down because someone has X more years of experience, at a higher position, thinks he is better.
I am starting to hate people who boasts his years of experience instead of having the real knowledge and skills to create value.9 -
So my father has to deal with some vendors providing niche hardware and software solutions for a single department in the company.
Once the hardware finishes its work and transfers results to the managing PC, the PC has to upload those results to the server on the internet. The problem is that if no one's working with that setup for a few minutes the software in the PC can no longer communicate with the server.
Naturally, since idle time is in the equation, I thought of SO_KEEPALIVE (or whatever it's called in Windows). Wireshark confirms the absence of keepalive packets. However, the app doesn't seem to have any means to enable it... Hence the need to work with support guys.
One would expect the support to be professional, experts considering anything related to the app.
One would NOT expect to receive a call: "Hey, look, I was doing some googling on the internet... You might be right, enabling KA might help with the issue. We were discussing with our engineers and we tried to find some application that could enable KA on your computer. We couldn't find anything, but we believe that's the way to go. So give it a try and try to find some app on the internet that enables KA for our proprietary application". // everything in Lithuanian ofc.
I mean...seriously...?
I was startled to hear this suggestion. Since I expected them to be experts I assumed there's something IDK about Windows sockets -- could Windows enable KA globally, by-default? Did not find such a thing. Could Windows allow application A to control application B's socket options? Frankly, I'm too afraid to even look for this. I dislike Windows already. If this turned out to be true I'd probably become an anti-windows evangelist.4 -
So, a few months back my mother had some issues with her windows 10 box not being able to do proper backups to a backup partition. At the same time I was pulling insane hours at work and writing on a eBook on commission for a guy, besides having small kids with on and off flu and shit.
Needless to say, I didn't have time to look at the backup issues. Well, even though my mom is one of those dogs you can't teach new tricks, she has always been resourceful enough to get help with things.
This time she picked up the phone and called Microsoft Support, got some guys to remote in and take a look. They messed around a bit and said they were done.
She phoned me up later that day to tell me how proud she was of herself for doing that. Of course, she skipped telling me the important bit about she actually calling them, rather describing it as "Microsoft was just on my computer and fixed it".
You can imagine my immediate reaction, cold sweat running down my back, adrenalin rushing in as I dug through the details of what had happened.
A few days later she calls me up again and tells me the problem is back, and we agree that even though the MS dudes was not able to fix it at first, she should try again, as she had a ticket to reference.
The next attempt by MS actually fried her partitions, and apparently they had f-ed up trying to delete and recreate the backup partition.
That's not the worst of it though. Since they fried her disk, her computer crashed and naturally the remoting won't work. In our country, they have no people on the ground to do hands on help, and they didn't have a partner near by. Her not having a win 10 usb stick, nor a spare computer to make one, she was in a surreal predicament.
She was also quite pissed, and pissed off mums are not to be messed with. She managed to get Microsoft to agree to cover the costs of a non-partner to visit her to fix the problems, and using her as the middle man, they made an agreement with the 3rd-party tech support company.
After the box was fixed though, some more issues arose... regarding billing. The 3rd-party tech support was unable to get in contact with the person at MS that was going to sign off on the bill, and again using my mom as the middle man, it was agreed that my mom, as the customer, was to be reimbursed for the bill to the 3rd-party.
Guess what... 3 months went by, with weekly follow-ups and nagging from my mom, and still no money...
At this time, I had time to help her, and after some digging and borderline stalking, we managed to get the phone numbers of some of the higher ups in my country, and she started calling them directly.
After talking to a couple who refused to help, she reached the Vice President of the country branch, and was finally able to talk to someone who gave a shit.
Still took over a month more to actually get the money, but now she had someone who actually gave her statuses, receipts and ETAs.
FUCK!2 -
Let's invent a new coding paradigm. Its goal is to make code as it naturally really should be: Ugly af
See the current list of rules in the description14 -
My failed interaction with a girl:
So I go to a convention at the university.
It's nice I'm having fun, I see a girl dressed as Hermione, she is cute so I go talk to her for a little we joke around I'm really starting to like her. Then I say bye and hang out with friends for the rest of the evening. I see her leaving so I run to her and after catching up to her I ask if I could have her phone number. She says yes and enters her number on my phone. I'm super happy. I excitedly wait for the next day's evening to message her. We message for a while the next day she messages good morning, so I think things are going well, she must like me too right ? I mean we glanced at each other at the convention, she gave me her phone number and messaged good morning so I'm pretty sure she does...
Turns out she doesn't, she says she thought I wanted to be friends...
WHAT ?! FRIENDS ?? Are you 12 ? What friend would run to you to get your phone number and after getting it there would be a stupid grin on his face ??? She looks at 9gag and doesn't know the most overly used meme of "friendzone" ? Unbelievable either she was screwing with me or she is just that socially dense. So after that I'm pretty mad but I don't say any mean things I just accept the fact like a gentleman and carry on with my life. But also feeling depressed after believing we actually had a connection. Ugh I guess back to the coal mines for me huh, stupid conventions 😒9 -
Motherfucking stupid windows 10.
Wanted to try out cortana with all features after disabling it via regedit.
So naturally I created a Microsoft account and linked my user to it. Of course I used a random password generator and saved it in a passwort vault.
Then an update happened, I restarted my computer and guess what this stupid piece of SHIT garbage software did?
It prompted me to enter my password. Not the password I had for my local user BUT THE MOTHERFUCKING 15-DIGIT RANDOM PASSWORT GENERATED AND NOT EVEN VIEWED ONCE FUCKING SHIT!!!
Did they even ask if I wanted that? No they fucking didn't. Did they WARN ME? NO. NO THEY FUCKING DIDN'T.
That's the last straw. I'll kick windows down the garbage bin where it belongs and programm my own AI with open source software.4 -
Monday starts amazing.
Team Leader is mad that i didn't attend a party, and insists to know, why i wasnt there.
An event, that per my understanding was obviously an optional event, where colleagues meet, talk about some stuff, and then eat and drink, because it was fucking worded that way in the email. Ah and in that email they also asked us to actively respond, if we want to participate.
Me, naturally: Obviously an optional event, go figure.9 -
OK. This might sound incredibly stupid. But still...
I decided to help a friend of mine with asp.net assignment. I just know c# and he didn't attend classes. So he came to me with some pizza and beer. So we managed to finish the assignment. In the end we had to add audio to web page and I didn't know how to do it(I've never used Javascript until that moment) . So naturally I googled and tried literally 10 different methods to play audio and none of them worked. I lost my mind and hit the table a bunch of times. After 2 hours I realized that I was wearing my second headphone that is not connected to my laptop and audio is playing on my primary headphone as expected)4 -
Well , this isn't a rant or a joke , so I just thought I should post it here in case people are going through a similar situation . So I know this guy , who works at this startup , so he had just joined the company and made a huge impression on the boss ( My friend is fantastic in developing ) , so as great as that sounds , it doesn't . After a year or so , he's been promoted and is now kinda a face for the devs of the company and this made his boss very cocky , like he would take so many projects or requirements of his top clients and place them on the shoulders of my friend and give a bad time limit , which is impossible but he always managed to just finish completing it . Naturally it affected his sleep cycle , his daily life and as a result , his mental health . As time went on and as more and more projects were being placed on him..........he finally broke , he used to miss so many days of work , not return any of my calls or texts , miss lunches , have breakdowns . I became very concerned and didn't want him to end it , I went to his place , spoke to him , found out that he had suicidal thoughts . Fast forward a year later , he's still going to a shrink , everyday but he's better now and after forcing him to talk to his boss and now his boss gives him plenty of time to finish the projects and said to be straightforward with how he feels and so on . I know this isn't what you would expect to find here but I just wanted to say after having this experience , please do not keep quiet , be straightforward with your boss and don't overburden yourself , if you're an introvert , tell it to someone you know , to tell your boss , and if you know anyone in a similar situation , do be out there for them . I'm sorry if this kinda spoils your mood , but people have to be aware . Be careful , lots of love people4
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Humility... NASA discovered a star that has a strange drop in light level periodically. To the tune of 20%. NASA also determined that this was not due to a planet or naturally occurring body (Not sure how they determine that, but a lot of smart people work at NASA. So I am going with it for this discussion.) They have theorized that this object is evidence of a type 2 civilization mega structure, perhaps a Dyson sphere. The time it takes the light to get to us from this star is ~2000 years. So that civilization "had" a mega structure with the capability to harness the power of a star 2000 years ago. What are they doing now? Humbling, amazing, exciting, I hope we get to talk to them! (Also hoping they don't kill us all.) Really, I just want to see how fast their computers are. Yes, selfish wish.15
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Since we're limiting this to things on my desk I can't do any more deep cuts out of my calculator collection, but this one is still somewhat interesting.
The HP 32S was my friend throughout university, it replaced the 15c I used before which does not live on my desk. The notable thing about the 32s is the fact it's an RPN calculator. RPN calculators are the best way to have friends never ask to borrow your calculator. The exchange will start by them asking to use it, you saying sure, and them handing it back a few minutes later without saying a word.
There's two kinds of people in this world. People who go "wtf" in an interview when asked to create a calculator program using a stack, and people who were oddballs and for whatever reason used reverse polish notation devices.
For those not familiar, rather than entering values into the calculator in "10+10" fashion, you instead provide it a compositional set of values until an operation is provided (10,10,+) at which point it executes. The why is, this type of operation allows the calculator to more naturally process operations, and eliminates the need for parenthesis which makes the operations less error prone in practice and easier to track.
The 32s had a 4 year run before being replaced by the 32SII. In the same way using a Curta will give you a significant understanding of how radix computations and floating points work. Using an HP 32s (or any of its predecessors) will do the same for algebraic functions, because you had to program them yourself using a basic label address system that also had subroutine support.
Kids who grew up with graphing calculators don't know how good you had it 😋
4 -
Hey guys it's not a rant, but i feel this place might help...
I am a 20 yr old, second year guy ...have got some experience in core Java and after that, i have been doing android for 8months... Yeah , i coded some basic apps got my hands dirty on firebase, sql libraries and some connectivity...
Even got landed in an internship.
Today i feel myself to be an intermediate android dev , nd i know their are many things that can be learnt in android that i don't know..
But what after that?development as a carrier interests me, but i fear for a job security ... I could learn more of Android,maybe learn ios after that but their are always articles coming out that react is future, webapps will replace android and stuff like that...
I Have also heard stuff like companies today want to squeeze more out of their techs, so they want less and complete developers having experience in both web and mobile app designing and other stuff like that
Are you freakin kidding me? Android and ios alone are like drinking Pacific and indian ocean and to add web developing, its like drinking out every drop of ocean in the world.
I guess their are guys which exist with knowledge of all three, maybe I can cover them all too(someday) but that would take my whole clg life of 4 years..(I guess)
And no ,I don't have problems with that too.. I actually like developing but again i hear big words like cloud computing, AR,VR AI, data sciences, automation, graphics designing, game dev, and many more...
Basically i hear too much and i fear too much 😅 and i don't think closing my ears would be a good choice...
So, which ocean of carrier should i aim to go for?nd are my fears real? Do companies really prefer some web guy designing Amazon like apps over android-only guys like me?is automation nd templates really gonna take all we, developers jobs?should i look into ai/data sciences?
Well , i am a simple guy, who got his first pc at 17 so naturally, i am fascinated even by the working of a calculator app and anything relates to tech so am open to pursue my interests in any fields23 -
Dev of 15 years here. All my career historically started and evolved/revolved around Microsoft in one way or the other, so was my exposure to only DOS and the Windows as a child and growing up.
Like already discussed in multiple rants here, I was one of those naturally Windows -favoring ppl through all my life. That is not to say I didn't try Linux here and there, for hosting of personal projects, as one usually does. But it never quite stuck with me as a personal daily driver, mainly because all I ever needed for personal use was a browser, discord, and Steam/GOG/Epic Games store for gaming (work-wise I always had and still have company provided laptops which are OF COURSE Windows powered)
Anyway, maybe you can see where I'm going with this... I recently gave Nobara Linux a go (Glorious Eggroll's Fedora flavor, with some custom kernel patches) and I have to say, not thinking of going back to Windows at all.
Just a few thoughts on comparing two sets of experiences with Win vs Nobara
- Win definitely feels more sluggish
- Nobara's default desktop env was Gnome 42 with some extensions pre-enabled. I dove right into hacking/customizing it to my tastes and it looked glorious. Never would have achieved this customization with Win
- I was using RDP to remote into my work laptop from my personal desktop setup with Windows and I still successfully do so with Remmina now in Linux
- A week ago I dove deeper and installed Awesome window manager as a UI and mh boy does this feel intimidating at first. But then the allure of having nice window managing experience was too strong, and 15 years of coding do help with just seeing a new language and kinda feeling at home instantly (Lua language for AwesomeWM customization/themes). Fast forward a week and now I'm sitting happily with 3 monitor setup, one of them vertical, all properly auto aligned with arandr on startup, variety+wal for wallpaper auto circling and applying a theme out of main wallpaper colors every so often (+wrote a script to put those main colors into my RGB peripherals via OpenRGB)
- Gaming. I still game, Steam Deck from steam gave me all the confidence to set up Linux gaming that I needed. I think I am now properly versed in all things Wine/Proton/Lutris/Bottles/Heroic Games Launcher, you name it. Recently finished Cyberpunk 2077.
ANYWAY, thank you for coming to my Linux appreciation TED talk. It's amazing. -
Subaru's Symmetrical AWD is the best thing in the world at the moment. Also, warning: !dev
Tl;dr: I'm getting another RPi3 thanks to awesome engineering.
Got a couple of inches of light snow here, and on my way home I came across a GMC Sierra dually stuck at the bottom of a moderately sized ditch. Naturally, I stopped by in my Forester and offered to tow it out.
With my 20ft tow rope stretched to its full length I was barely touching the road. He signalled that he was ready, and I gunned it. Slowly but surely the truck crawled out of the 6ft deep trench. She crested the hill with much applause (from me and the driver of the truck). As a thanks, he gave me $30.
Looks like I'm gonna get a new Raspberry Pi to play with. I think I'll turn this one into a countertop MAME arcade machine.
And for those of you wondering why I'm praising Symmetrical AWD as opposed to AWD in general, here's a quick lesson in drivetrains:
Most all wheel drive cars power the front wheels most of the time. This saves on fuel economy. The thing is, power is only transmitted to the rear wheels when the front wheels start to lose traction. At that point you're already screwed; only two wheels at any one time are putting useful power to the road.
Symmetrical AWD systems, like you'll find in all Subarus and most performance cars, distribute the vehicle's torque eaqually front-rear at all times. So instead of waiting until the front wheels start slipping, all of the wheels are powered right off the bat.
To make this more devvy: grrrr php, vim is best, I configured the tab key to enter four spaces, js has too many damn frameworks and they're still being pumped out faster than rabbits in a bunny farm.3 -
dev, ~boring
This is either a shower thought or a sober weed thought, not really sure which, but I've given some serious consideration to "team composition" and "working condition" as a facet of employment, particularly in regard to how they translate into hiring decisions and team composition.
I've put together a number of teams over the years, and in almost every case I've had to abide by an assemblage of pre-defined contexts that dictated the terms of the team working arrangement:
1. a team structure dictated to me
2. a working temporality scheme dictated to me
3. a geographic region in which I was allowed to hire
4. a headcount, position tuple I was required to abide by
I've come to regard these structures as weaknesses. It's a bit like the project management triangle in which you choose 1-2 from a list of inadequate options. Sometimes this is grounded in business reality, but more often than not it's because the people surrounding the decisions thrive on risk mitigation frameworks that become trickle down failure as they impose themselves on all aspects of the business regardless of compatibility.
At the moment, I'm in another startup that I have significantly more control over and again have found my partners discussing the imposition of structure and framework around how, where, why, who and what work people do before contact with any action. My mind is screaming at me to pull the cord, as much as I hate the expression. This stems from a single thought:
"Hierarchy and structure should arise from an understanding of a problem domain"
As engineers we develop processes based on logic; it's our job, it's what we do. Logic operates on data derived from from experiments, so in the absence of the real we perform thought experiments that attempt to reveal some fundamental fact we can use to make a determination.
In this instance we can ask ourselves the question, "what works?" The question can have a number contexts: people, effort required, time, pay, need, skills, regulation, schedule. These things in isolation all have a relative importance ( a weight ), and they can relatively expose limits of mutual exclusivity (pay > budget, skills < need, schedule < (people * time/effort)). The pre-imposed frameworks in that light are just generic attempts to abstract away those concerns based on pre-existing knowledge. There's a chance they're fine, and just generally misunderstood or misapplied; there's also a chance they're insufficient in the face of change.
Fictional entities like the "A Team," comprise a group of humans whose skills are mutually compatible, and achieve synergy by random chance. Since real life doesn't work on movie/comic book logic, it's easy to dismiss the seed of possibility there, that an organic structure can naturally evolve to function beyond its basic parts due to a natural compatibility that wasn't necessarily statistically quantifiable (par-entropic).
I'm definitely not proposing that, nor do I subscribe to the 10x ninja founders are ideal theory. Moreso, this line of reasoning leads me to the thought that team composition can be grown organically based on an acceptance of a few observed truths about shipping products:
1. demand is constant
2. skills can either be bought or developed
3. the requirement for skills grows linearly
4. hierarchy limits the potential for flexibility
5. a team's technically proficiency over time should lead to a non-linear relationship relationship between headcount and growth
Given that, I can devise a heuristic, organic framework for growing a team:
- Don't impose reporting structure before it has value (you don't have to flatten a hierarchy that doesn't exist)
- crush silos before they arise
- Identify needed skills based on objectives
- base salary projections on need, not available capital
- Hire to fill skills gap, be open to training since you have to pay for it either way
- Timelines should always account for skills gap and training efforts
- Assume churn will happen based on team dynamics
- Where someone is doesn't matter so long as it's legal. Time zones are only a problem if you make them one.
- Understand that the needs of a team are relative to a given project, so cookie cutter team composition and project management won't work in software
- Accept that failure is always a risk
- operate with the assumption that teams that are skilled, empowered and motivated are more likely to succeed.
- Culture fit is a per team thing, if the team hates each other they won't work well no matter how much time and money you throw at it
Last thing isn't derived from the train of thought, just things I feel are true:
- Training and headcount is an investment that grows linearly over time, but can have exponential value. Retain people, not services.
- "you build it, you run it" will result in happier customers, faster pivoting. Don't adopt an application maintenance strategy
/rant2 -
Github 101 (many of these things pertain to other places, but Github is what I'll focus on)
- Even the best still get their shit closed - PRs, issues, whatever. It's a part of the process; learn from it and move on.
- Not every maintainer is nice. Not every maintainer wants X feature. Not every maintainer will give you the time of day. You will never change this, so don't take it personally.
- Asking questions is okay. The trackers aren't just for bug reports/feature requests/PRs. Some maintainers will point you toward StackOverflow but that's usually code for "I don't have time to help you", not "you did something wrong".
- If you open an issue (or ask a question) and it receives a response and then it's closed, don't be upset - that's just how that works. An open issue means something actionable can still happen. If your question has been answered or issue has been resolved, the issue being closed helps maintainers keep things un-cluttered. It's not a middle finger to the face.
- Further, on especially noisy or popular repositories, locking the issue might happen when it's closed. Again, while it might feel like it, it's not a middle finger. It just prevents certain types of wrongdoing from the less... courteous or common-sense-having users.
- Never assume anything about who you're talking to, ever. Even recently, I made this mistake when correcting someone about calling what I thought was "powerpc" just "power". I told them "hey, it's called powerpc by the way" and they (kindly) let me know it's "power" and why, and also that they're on the Power team. Needless to say, they had the authority in that situation. Some people aren't as nice, but the best way to avoid heated discussion is....
- ... don't assume malice. Often I've come across what I perceived to be a rude or pushy comment. Sometimes, it feels as though the person is demanding something. As a native English speaker, I naturally tried to read between the lines as English speakers love to tuck away hidden meanings and emotions into finely crafted sentences. However, in many cases, it turns out that the other person didn't speak English well enough at all and that the easiest and most accurate way for them to convey something was bluntly and directly in English (since, of course, that's the easiest way). Cultures differ, priorities differ, patience tolerances differ. We're all people after all - so don't assume someone is being mean or is trying to start a fight. Insinuating such might actually make things worse.
- Please, PLEASE, search issues first before you open a new one. Explaining why one of my packages will not be re-written as an ESM module is almost muscle memory at this point.
- If you put in the effort, so will I (as a maintainer). Oftentimes, when you're opening an issue on a repository, the owner hasn't looked at the code in a while. If you give them a lot of hints as to how to solve a problem or answer your question, you're going to make them super, duper happy. Provide stack traces, reproduction cases, links to the source code - even open a PR if you can. I can respond to issues and approve PRs from anywhere, but can't always investigate an issue on a computer as readily. This is especially true when filing bugs - if you don't help me solve it, it simply won't be solved.
- [warning: controversial] Emojis dillute your content. It's not often I see it, but sometimes I see someone use emojis every few words to "accent" the word before it. It's annoying, counterproductive, and makes you look like an idiot. It also makes me want to help you way less.
- Github's code search is awful. If you're really looking for something, clone (--depth=1) the repository into /tmp or something and [rip]grep it yourself. Believe me, it will save you time looking for things that clearly exist but don't show up in the search results (or is buried behind an ocean of test files).
- Thanking a maintainer goes a very long way in making connections, especially when you're interacting somewhat heavily with a repository. It almost never happens and having talked with several very famous OSSers about this in the past it really makes our week when it happens. If you ever feel as though you're being noisy or anxious about interacting with a repository, remember that ending your comment with a quick "btw thanks for a cool repo, it's really helpful" always sets things off on a Good Note.
- If you open an issue or a PR, don't close it if it doesn't receive attention. It's really annoying, causes ambiguity in licensing, and doesn't solve anything. It also makes you look overdramatic. OSS is by and large supported by peoples' free time. Life gets in the way a LOT, especially right now, so it's not unusual for an issue (or even a PR) to go untouched for a few weeks, months, or (in some cases) a year or so. If it's urgent, fork :)
I'll leave it at that. I hear about a lot of people too anxious to contribute or interact on Github, but it really isn't so bad!4 -
!rant
Hopefully I'm getting an early promotion this month and moving to a city I wanted to 😄
Also got a glowing review from the boss to be read by his boss.
Gonna negotiate the raise tonight. Naturally, I'm super happy, so I Thought I'd share. Wish me luck.1 -
Recently I had to work on a project using PrestaShop. Naturally I looked up the "docs" and found the part where they recommend to write documentation.
Fine until you realize they don't and the documentation website gives generic useless informations...
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1. Coding gets me naturally high. Mentally sound and sharpens my focus.
2. Beating a challenge by code is fun. And watching something I spent much time on working is great. Like setting up all those dominos to watch them cascade and fall down one after another...bliss!
3. People think I'm smart because I can type instructions into inanimate objects and make lights flash on the screen.3 -
I'm kinda insecure about my main focus being web stuff. I'm pretty good at it and it comes naturally - and more importantly, there are tons of web jobs. But I've always wanted to do something more unique and interesting, you know? I don't wanna introduce myself as web developer.3
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so... while this may not be *my* code, I do have to claim a fair share of the responsibility for allowing it to exist. o.o
I'm busy fixing it now though.
> note: proprietary names have been blurred, naturally.
3 -
Don't get stuck maintaining legacy stuff.
If you move to new, preferably greenfield dev every so often then you'll naturally keep with the times (at least if you're working in a vaguely decent team.) If you stick in one place too long and get stuck maintaining legacy crap, then that will be your focus, and that will be where your knowledge sticks.3 -
So i am a diabetic and carry an insulin pump. Now being in India, the pump is not covered by insurance (for some god forsaken reason that I don’t know) and therefore is not a common sight here (contradictoraly India has a major diabetes problem). So I was at the metro station going through security check and the security personnel asks me what the pump was and asked me to show it to him. Now since insulin pumps are uncommon here I understood his concern and showed it to him. Now I like to carry the pump under my shirt with a clip pouch. So naturally I had to lift up my shirt to show it to him. But this isn’t the highlight of the story.
The guy behind me rised above and started peeking over my shoulder and constantly repeating like a 2 year old child what is this. And that too with my fucking abdomen exposed. I went into rage mode there and then like wtf dude, none of your business just step back a little.
Now my issue is that I do not understand that in their own curiosity, why do people forget to respect others privacy. And a very big problem with medical equipment manufacturing organisations (yeah you medtronic). Why are you only concerned with sales and why not awareness? I mean spreading awareness will only help your sales as more people will become aware about your product and it will be less awkward and concerning for people like me to wear your device out in the public5 -
I'm working with dictionaries today so naturally all my variable names are making me chuckle:
threshDic
saveDic
cutDic
Etc. you get the picture, it's the little things that get you through a Friday slog. -
So here goes my first rant...
I was looking for a job as a software developer when I saw one nice company hiring.
I apply to them via their form online. Then they invite me to come to their event during which they will explain everything in details.
I go there (despite the time of the event being uncomfortable for me) and listen to them for a while. Basically, they say they will send the test task to all applicants and see how it goes.
Later same day they email me saying they didn't get my CV via their form and they need me to resend it so they can send the test task. Alright, no big deal, done.
Now today they email me saying "sorry, motherfucker, better luck next time".
What the actual fuck? I spend my fucking time to go to some shitty event saying a test task will decide everything to not even get one.
So, naturally, I go and re-check my email: I definitely did send them my CV;
seems like they ignored the email and eliminated me from the application process for not having my CV, fuckers.
If they will ever in the future invite me to an interview/offer me a job there, I won't take for fucking triple pay.
Thanks for reading and helping me vent my anger, have a nice day:)2 -
I'm here in my bed. I can't sleep and in less than 5 hours I will have an important exam. I was thinking that a few months ago I went to a IT company as a school program. I would have to stay there for 2 weeks and "work" for them.
Upon arrival, the guy who had to monitor me gave me a sheet of paper with 5 alghoritmic problems to solve. He tells me to use java and hands me a laptop. naturally with windows. I try to look for some ideas but I can not find anything. I go to the control panel and search for something. Obviously there is a lot of bloatware and nothing catches my attention. then strangely I find something called oracle ... something ... but when trying to open it it gives me an error.
Fuck me. I decided to open notebook(normal one not ++ or something) and start solving the problems trying to remember the names of the methods and the classes based on what I had learned in school. then the guy comes back and looks at me puzzled. I tell him I did not find any IDE for java and the only one I found seem to give me an error. The guy double clicks and the program opens...fucking shit... He tells me to finish the problems and goes away perplexed. I copy the code from notepad to the IDE, I check the errors, I run it and the add some comments and I call the guy. he looks at the code, says that everything seems fine and then assigns me other things to do.
Now. HOW FUCKING STUPID MUST SOMEONE BE TO THINK THAT WRITING JAVA IN NOTEPAD IS A VIABLE CHOICE, AMONG ALL THE POSSIBLE SANE CHOICES I COULD HAVE MADE LIKE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE ERROR OF THE IDE OR CALL THE GUY... NO. MY LITTLE SHOTTY FUCKING BRAIN DECIDED THAT NOTEPAD WAS A GOOD CHOICE. IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME IN THE SAME MOMENT THAT I OPENED NOTEPAD I WOULD BITCH SLAP MYSELF SO HARD THAT I WOULD LOSE MY SOULD AND THE LAST 2 NEURON THAT MADE THAT SHITTY CHOICE. I WOULD BITCH SLAP MYSELF SO HARD THAT THE KINETIC ENERGY PRODUCED WOULD COLLAPSE THE UNIVERSE ITSELF. AND FROM THE DARKNESS A NEW UNIVERSE WILL BE BORN. A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS NO JAVA OR WINDOWS. A UNIVERSE WHERE MY 2 NEURONS WOULD HAVE MADE THE SHITTIEST DUMBEST CHOICE EVER IN A I LAST MISERABLE SELF DESTRUCTIVE ATTEMPT.
but then I come on devrant and I read about people who did thing worse than writing java on notepad and then everything is fine
PS my English is so bad I had to use Google translate, write an original version, translate it and do a side by side comparison with my translated version to check If I could improve something. Don't now If It improved the quality or not...3 -
I just finished designing an entire asset management pipeline and christ on a fucking pogo stick, if it isn't convoluted.
Theres a lot of game engines out there, but all of them do it a little different. They all tackle a slightly different problem, without even realizing it.
1. asset management
2. asset change management
3. behavior change management
4. data management
5. combinatorial design management.
6. Combinatorial Behavior management
7. Feature completion
ASSET MANAGEMENT is exactly what it says on the tin.
ASSET CHANGE management can be thought of handling the import, export, formatting, platform specific packing, and versioning (including forking) of an asset.
BEHAVIORAL CHANGE management is a subset of asset management, because code is a subset of assets (depending on how you define 'assets'). The oldest known example of this is commenting and uncommenting code.
Or worse, printf debugging.
This can be file versioning, basic undo services, graph management of forks and mergers, toggles for features or modules, etc.
DATA management is about anything that doesn't fall into the other categories, everything from mission text to npc dialogues, quests, location names, item stats, the works. Anything you'd be tempted to put in a database, falls under this category. Haven't yet seen many engines offer this as an explicit built in tool as of yet, because the other problems are non-trivial as is, so this is a bit of low hanging fruit that gets handled by external tools, or loaded from formats as simple as json.
COMBINATORIAL DESIGN management is the idea of prefabbing, blueprints of broader object design using nested prototypes of existing game objects, to create more complex, reusable set pieces. Unity did this well. GM does this in part.
COMBINATORIAL BEHAVIOR management is entity-component systems, plus tooling to make it easy to add, remove, and configure components and their values on entity blueprints, also not uncommon. Both stencyl and unity do this. GM has a precursor to this in the form of configurable fields, but these fields are not based on component scripts attached to objects.
FEATURE COMPLETION is that set of gameplay mechanics or styles of design that an engine naturally makes easier to include or build in a game.
I don't think I'm aiming for all that, but I think at minimum a good engine has to do asset management, behavioral change management, prefabs, and entity-component systems with management tools for that. And ideally, asset change management.8 -
Went into a room that hasn’t been visited in a while.
I decided to clear up some space and see how dusty it was.
Naturally I use my hand to take the dust off the table.
My hand is covered in dust.
Because of the absence of a trash can, I have no choice but to open the window and throw the dust outside.
I open the window; a gust of wind rushes inside, blowing all the dust in the room.
Smh.4 -
I'm curious..
When does programming suck for you, and when is it fun?
Like I hate programming, when I run into an obscure use case that opens up some serious errors with my some, or gasp, all, of my architecture and forces me to rethink everything - especially DB design, ugh.
I love programming when my architecture and DB design create naturally readable code and everything falls into place and I feel like a genius.
I guess, in short.... plan before you code?
And then, plan again.
But don't plan too much.
The love/hate of my programming life summed up right there I think.
How about you?10 -
Development tools for embedded projects shouldn't need fucking internet to operate. Every fucking app needing internet to even startup is getting more and more stupid. I do a LOT of development offline. I usually have my dev machine away from internet for weeks at a time. It very nice to not have to deal with update issues and the like during this time. So naturally I choose tools to do offline programming for both desktop and embedded. So I decided that for my embedded work I wanted to have better environment than Arduino IDE. Now enters VSCode with Platform IO. I download all the target platforms for my boards. I get it all working and installed. Then I take my computer to my non internet location. I fire up VSCode, select the platform, create a test project, and compile the code. Everything is working great. Then I go to upload the code to my board:
"Blah blah blah you need internet first time talking to a board blah blah blah." Seriously? WTF? Who does stupid shit like this? Once you install your dev tools they should be fucking installed! Now I have to drag my fucking dev boards to another location and do a test install just to do fucking offline programming.
FUCK YOU PLATFORM IO!
Notice I don't blame VSCode for this. I know this IDE is very internet dependent, but it works once you get your plugins installed regardless of internet. Unless of course you are doing internet based programming.3 -
THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
I recently got a secondhand Sony WH-1000XM3 headphones. they were used for less than a year, were in perfect shape and they still had warranty.
The app that is supposed to go alongside the headphones told me that I have a firmware update for my headphones. So naturally, I pressed install.
AGAIN, THIS IS A FIRMWARE UPDATE ISSUED BY SONY!!
It bricked the headphones. I can't turn them on.
The issue was probably Bluetooth file sharing. BTFS is SO unreliable and it's known to be unreliable and Sony updates their top tier headphones with this communication method.
Thankfully, I still have warranty. I had to fight with the official importers of Sony in Israel (called "Ishfar", you read it like you see it) to go through the process of repairing / giving me a replacement.
O U T R A G E O U S12 -
The primary concept of reactive programming is great. The idea that things just naturally re-run when anything they rely on is changed is amazing. Really, I think it's the next step in programming language development and within a decade or two at least one of the top 5 programming languages will be built entirely on this principle.
BUT
Expecting every dependency to be used unconditionally is stupid. Code that checks everything it might need all the time even if a decision can be made from much less information is simply bad, inefficient code. If you want to build a list of dependencies automatically, you have to parse the source.
And I really hate that there are TONS of languages that either make the AST readable at runtime or ship with a very powerful preprocessor that could be used to analyse expressions and build dependency lists, but by its sheer popularity the language we're trying to knead into something it was never and still isn't meant to be is JavaScript.3 -
I would have to say the first start-up I worked with had the worst recruiters. Albeit they were seniors of mine, and not full fledged professionals, but this was pretty ridiculous.
So at the interview(which I won by winning a hackathon in college), they asked me the standard questions about my current knowledge and what I hope to achieve in the company. When they asked me my tech questions, one program that they thought was tough, I solved in 2 minutes. I was interviewing with 3 other people whom hadn't gotten the answer. Naturally I doubt myself due to the lack of answers being produced. The recruiters themselves didnt understand my answer initially. So much so that they were convinced I was wrong(at this time the others were coming up with, and submitting their answers, which the recruiters naturally expected from us). So to give me the benefit of the doubt, they whip out a laptop to run my code, and guess what? It worked, and had NOTICABLY lesser computation speed.
Needless to say I got the job, but the look on my recruiters' faces after exclaiming I was wrong, then they themselves being proven wrong? Priceless. xD4 -
Hi, my name is bohr and I'm a recovering distro hopper.
It all started with Ubuntu, out of my frustrations with the unintuitive nature of DOS I gravitated to a Unix environment which Ubuntu naturally solved. But I quickly became annoyed with the laggy nature of it's daily usage. So I switched to Linux mint. Loving the HTML/css/js configuration aspect of cinnamon I thought it was the answer to all my problems. But I became annoyed with apt and it's lack of a few programs I wanted. This got me to look into an arch based distro, because pacman seemed like the answer to my problems. Unfortunately there are way too many arch distros to use. I experimented with antegros' many DE options: gnome, kde, i3, deepin, openbox... Always finding something wrong. I tried manjaro and it's many flavors, still being annoyed with minute aspects of the os. Out of frustration, with the deep configuration settings I was getting into and the need to actually focus on the work being done on the computer I crawled back to Linux mint. But now my friends, I have decided that maybe it's time to just use a more established distro? Maybe gnome isn't actually that bad? Maybe I need to give it another try? And that is why, I promise, this is the last hop for me. Arch Linux, Gnome here I come and I'm ready to commit this time!...
But have you guys seen POP!_OS? Woah, I bet it would solve all of my problems....6 -
My God is map development insane. I had no idea.
For starters did you know there are a hundred different satellite map providers?
Just kidding, it's more than that.
Second there appears to be tens of thousands of people whos *entire* job is either analyzing map data, or making maps.
Hell this must be some people's whole *existence*. I am humbled.
I just got done grabbing basic land cover data for a neoscav style game spanning the u.s., when I came across the MRLC land cover data set.
One file was 17GB in size.
Worked out to 1px = 30 meters in their data set. I just need it at a one mile resolution, so I need it in 54px chunks, which I'll have to average, or find medians on, or do some sort of reduction.
Ecoregions.appspot.com actually has a pretty good data set but that's still manual. I ran it through gale and theres actually imperceptible thin line borders that share a separate *shade* of their region colors with the region itself, so I ran it through a mosaic effect, to remove the vast bulk of extraneous border colors, but I'll still have to hand remove the oceans if I go with image sources.
It's not that I havent done things involved like that before, naturally I'm insane. It's just involved.
The reason for editing out the oceans is because the oceans contain a metric boatload of shades of blue.
If I'm converting pixels to tiles, I have to break it down to one color per tile.
With the oceans, the boundary between the ocean and shore (not to mention depth information on the continental shelf) ends up sharing colors when I do a palette reduction, so that's a no-go. Of course I could build the palette bu hand, from sampling the map, and then just measure the distance of each sampled rgb color to that of every color in the palette, to see what color it primarily belongs to, but as it stands ecoregions coloring of the regions has some of them *really close* in rgb value as it is.
Now what I also could do is write a script to parse the shape files, construct polygons in sdl or love2d, and save it to a surface with simplified colors, and output that to bmp.
It's perfectly doable, but technically I'm on savings and supposed to be calling companies right now to see if I can get hired instead of being a bum :P19 -
IT department of client still doesn't get its shit together. Previously, I've ranted that they insist I access their GitLab through a fucking RDP.
Me: requests an account to their Confluence space
Them: give me a Confluence account. Naturally, Confluence requests that I confirm my email. That needs to be confirmed in the inbox of my.name@theircompany.com. Mail servers hosted by Azure, using Outlook.
Me: ok, let's configure my Outlook, 2FA as they configured to demand it from me... install MS's authenticator app, ok so far so good... Now I'm ready to login and find that email from Confluence and... ERROR 500 INVALID LICENSE
Fucking hell. You just love your siloes so much you actually make it impossible to access it and feel good about my own good will. -
Am i whiny or is resilience so glorified in this field?
I am a junior developer. I was assigned with two projects together with a friend and a senior. My friend and I finished our assigned tasks way before the deadline. Fast forward, my senior got reassigned to a different project since we are lacking with manpower. Naturally, his transactions were assigned to me and my friend. And my goodness, his existing codes are a piece of shit! It's all over the place. His variable naming is shit, his codes are all around the place, his codes doesn't even follow our company's coding standards, no try catch, a lot of unsafe practices. In short, cleaning his code is a pain in the ass and my friend and I got really busy with cleaning his mess. The testing of our system is really near but I just thought that maybe he's really busy with the other project that's why the quality of his codes deteriorated.
He's not. One day, I saw his in discord that he's playing during work hours lol. And the worse part is that he is playing with our boss! YES. DURING WORK HOURS. I got mad but I couldn't say anything because he is really tight with the boss.
Later on that day, we had our meeting. I was surprised when my boss told me that she's expecting that the excel part of our system is already finished. A little background here, my boss asked me to study Excel VB. However, I didnt get to study that much because I was so busy fixing bugs and after that came the cleaning of our senior's shit codes.
So I tried to say these things to my boss but I was cut out by the same senior shouting "You can do it!" over and over again. No one listened to what I was trying to say! And to make it even worse, the boss had a very proud look on her face and she even had the audacity to tell me that I'm lucky I have such a good support system. I dont.
Now, the company is planning to put me in a very demanding project. I havent finished cleaning up my senior's codes, I havent started anything with the excel and the deadline is next week!
The boss told me that even if I enter the other project, that I will still be responsible for the Excel part of our system. So fucking shoot me in the face.They were telling me that I should have a good time management system, that I should be flexible, that I should adapt easily, yada yada yada. She just makes you feel bad about yourself if you're not as 'flexible' as her.
The thing is, even if I have the best time management techniques in the world, if you bombard me with a shitload of tasks, then I won't be able to do it properly! I don't even take breaks anymore! I work literally 8 hours a day, even more than that. And I dont understand, why the hell is she overworking me when her friend (the senior dev) is just playing during work hours?
Another funniest thing is that she told us that when we encounter technical problems, we should ask our senior dev. Oh boy, if only she knows how shitty his codes are.6 -
Remote work (for the software industry, at least) is PERFECT and I still haven't heard a single argument against it that could not be derived into one of the following explanations:
- the complainer is/has a terrible manager
- the complainer has a shitty house
- the complainer has a shitty family
- the complainer is a shitty person
Naturally I mean only real-adult healthy people who work in the software industry.
I will now list the complaints I have heard more often. All fit neatly in the categories above:
- "my family interrupts me a lot, require lots of attention and/or creates an environment I cannot work in" - in this case it is very irresponsible of the complainer to try and escape to an office. If the adults you live with cannot get by without you, how going to an office will help them? If you can't teach your children to behave, who will?
- "my house is noisy and/or uncomfortable" - move out! if you can go to the office, you can look for another place to live.
- "I need in person conversations to understand people / zoom meetings are a waste of time" - why? do you need the smell of other people to properly organize your thoughts? Yes, meetings are extra-shitty during the pandemic. But pandemics come and go and your terrible time management skills won't simply improve themselves. Learn to lead better meetings instead of blaming the medium.
- "I miss face-to-face interactions at work" - Those do not miss you. If you want to have personal conversations, do it *out of working hours* with consenting adults. If you want to have personal touch in work contexts, it is called "sexual harassment" and is a crime.
- "my employees / colleagues are not as effective without me breathing at their necks" - you are a terrible manager and leader if you can't inspire people in words only. Maybe even video.
My main point is, there is no argument against WFH. When people try to argue against it, they often actually mean "I don't like the pandemic". No shit. Life will be better after people stop dieing for breathing close to their friends and family. In the mean time, learn to organize your life instead of running away from it every day.
Have you ever been to love theatre? How many times? Have you ever seen a movie? How many?
Why so many more movies than live theatre? You think you would have liked the movies, and their price, more if it was live theatre? Would you have seen as many?
WFH is not perfect for everybody in the planet. But it sure is for the software industry.15 -
Worst recruiter experience wasn't mine, but it was one I overheard:
Buddy of mine who, like me, was older does a couple rounds of interviews at a nice place and gets a call back from the company recruiter. He puts the recruiter on speaker phone so I can hear too.
They are very nice and tell him they selected another candidate, bummer but no big deal.
Hey I the age of ghosting at least they called right?
He is still upbeat and asks if there was anything he could do better interview or technical stuff.
She tells him "We weren't sure you would fit into the culture."
This is a bit odd as this guy is outgoing and one of those folks that everyone loves being around and working with, just a naturally likeable guy.
He asks what she meant about culture fit and she responds "Well you're older..."
He thinks he misheard her and asks again "Your older and we don't think you will fit in that way."4 -
LinkedIn recruiter:
- messages me about a fantastic job opportunity
- waits exactly 3 days
- messages me asking about the cool company I work at and how I find the engineering department here
- again 3 days
- messages me saying that he has heard some amazing recent news (there were none) about the fast growing company I work at and asks how I feel about the changes caused by our headcount growth
- 3 more days go by
- today, I get a notification that this recruiter has given me random LinkedIn endorsements for some skills that I had put on my profile back in college and since then forgot about even the existence of the endorsements feature
My favorite part is that the job they had originally sent expects a few languages and other tech skills most of which I actually have listed on my profile, but naturally, he only endorsed me for skills not required for said job spec.
What kind of weird sorcery is this?2 -
So my company is using the cheapest software products out there; to save money of course. Naturally you pay what you get for, aka shitty products. I wonder how much money we waste by demotivated engineers using this Scheisse!4
-
New on HS Robotics team (we went to worlds last year —> we’re good). I come from France.
The lead programmer say that we are gonna stop coding the robot in Java and start C++ this year, so naturally I’m excited!
Lead programmer just told us we’re actually staying with Java... fuck.4 -
It all started with an undelivereable e-mail.
New manager (soon-to-be boss) walks into admin guy's office and complains about an e-mail he sent to a customer being rejected by the recipient's mail server. I can hear parts of the conversation from my office across the floor.
Recipient uses the spamcop.net blacklist and our mail was rejected since it came from an IP address known to be sending mails to their spamtrap.
Admin guy wants to verify the claim by trying to find out our static public IPv4 address, to compare it to the blacklisted one from the notification.
For half an hour boss and him are trying to find the correct login credentials for the telco's customer-self-care web interface.
Eventually they call telco's support to get new credentials, it turned out during the VoIP migration about six months ago we got new credentials that were apparently not noted anywhere.
Eventually admin guy can log in, and wonders why he can't see any static IP address listed there, calls support again. Turns out we were not even using a static IP address anymore since the VoIP change. Now it's not like we would be hosting any services that need to be publicly accessible, nor would all users send their e-mail via a local server (at least my machine is already configured to talk directly to the telco's smtp, but this was supposedly different in the good ol' days, so I'm not sure whether it still applies to some users).
In any case, the e-mail issue seems completely forgotten by now: Admin guy wants his static ip address back, negotiates with telco support.
The change will require new PPPoE credentials for the VDSL line, he apparently received them over the phone(?) and should update them in the CPE after they had disabled the login for the dynamic address. Obviously something went wrong, admin guy meanwhile having to use his private phone to call support, claims the credentials would be reverted immediately when he changed them in the CPE Web UI.
Now I'm not exactly sure why, there's two scenarios I could imagine:
- Maybe telco would use TR-069/CWMP to remotely provision the credentials which are not updated in their system, thus overwriting CPE to the old ones and don't allow for manual changes, or
- Maybe just a browser issue. The CPE's login page is not even rendered correctly in my browser, but then again I'm the only one at the company using Firefox Private Mode with Ghostery, so it can't be reproduced on another machine. At least viewing the login/status page works with IE11 though, no idea how badly-written the config stuff itself might be.
Many hours pass, I enjoy not being annoyed by incoming phone calls for the rest of the day. Boss is slightly less happy, no internet and no incoming calls.
Next morning, windows would ask me to classify this new network as public/work/private - apparently someone tried factory-resetting the CPE. Or did they even get a replacement!? Still no internet though.
Hours later, everything finally back to normal, no idea what exactly happened - but we have our old static IPv4 address back, still wondering what we need it for.
Oh, and the blacklisted IP address was just the telco's mail server, of course. They end up on the spamcop list every once in a while.
tl;dr: if you're running a business in Germany that needs e-mail, just don't send it via the big magenta monopoly - you would end up sharing the same mail servers with tons of small businesses that might not employ the most qualified people for securing their stuff, so they will naturally be pwned and abused for spam every once in a while, having your mailservers blacklisted.
I'm waiting for the day when the next e-mail will be blocked and manager / boss eventually wonder how the 24-hours-outage did not even fix aynything in the end... -
I just cant Wrap my head around matrices and linear Algebra.
I am currently doing a uni course about this and need to implement some eigenvalue solvers. I somehow manage to implement the stuff with the help of pseudocode and the internet but I have nö idea conceptually what all these things like norms, eigenvalues, conditioning etc are supposed to tell me and why.
How do people handle this so naturally?8 -
!dev
Here here to another year. So it's year end and I'd like to share an insight why I'm not happy.
> Left good job but the pay wasn't so good
> Lost girlfriend, I blame myself for this
> We were on the same project, so naturally my entire project is sabotaged
> She gave away my very first API which I built by myself
> Been unemployed 2 months and did nothing
> Got hired for react js and AngularJS but boss wants me to do java backend
> I DONT EVEN KNOW JAVA, IT ISNT ON MY RESUME
> And I might not get gold 🏅 medal for the academics
2 years from now I'll switch from industry to academics, I want to shape young minds properly1 -
TLDR;
I remissness about Yahoo site builder and talk about finding the record of the Google search that changed my life a long time ago and I think it's fucking great.
Earlier I re-installed google chrome but unlike every other time, this time I forgot to turn off the auto-sync feature. I only realized this when I opened gmail and it pre-populated my login info with the info of my very first, long forgotten gmail account.
So naturally I went exploring... after going through the mails I decided to check out the actual Google account to see if there was anything of interest there and lo and behold I found around 7 years of browsing history that I had no idea Google stored at the time.
As scary as it was to see I'm kinda glad about it now because aside from finding out that I was going through an Asian porn phase in 2008 I also found the one Google search record that changed my life.
It was a search to download Yahoo site builder followed by a bunch more on how to use it.
I had stumbled across a random article about it and it caught my eye because I needed a website for the grocery store I was a manager of back then.
Thankfully it was a fucking horrible WYSIWYG editor. I recall it acting almost identical to Word at the time - I would save and back up my site constantly because moving something 1px would fuck the layout up and burn everything to the ground, cntrl+z would try and do something, reversing only my last action while leaving the rest of the site in tatters and I didn't have the skills to understand or fix it...
Ultimately my frustration led me learn a bit of html & css and a week or so later It became apparent it would be easier to scratch code the damn thing so I uninstalled Yahoo site builder and started all over again.
Learning & building that site in notepad ignited my passion for coding and less than a year later I left my shitty dead end job to join a brand new tech company created with the help of a like minded investor officially employed as a developer. Let help you understand just how big this achievement was for me - I had been trying to find a job, ANY job in I.T even at a call center level without success for 6 years because I dropped out of school.
In 6 years as an active job seeker I only received one phone call about a job opportunity which ended very quickly once they realised they had misread my CV. In all those years I never even got a single job interview.
After that I spent the next 3 years rolling out and improving the cloud based loyalty card system I had written for my store out on a national scale and the rest is history. Since then I have never been judged by a crappy piece of paper, hated my job or struggled to find a new one.
What a beautiful search result that was to find.
I dedicate this rant to Yahoo, with my sincere gratitude for making a shitty WYSIWYG editor that was so bad it pissed me off enough to make me actually learn something.
2 -
Watched a co-worker configure a new "MacBook pro" as a replacement for the four-year-old one this personcurrently has. A replacement machine is justified as the old one is on the fritz... Naturally because MacBooks aren't any better than any other machine, build quality or otherwise. I still cannot fathom why anyone would even consider budgeting over $3000 for a single machine, only to then buy several adapters just to make the thing work.
Apple is off the deep end. People who fall for that BS are off the deep end.
I feel like showing the manager several alternative models at half the price just to make the point that MacBooks are a pointless waste of money.4 -
I'm working on a pretty Plotly map. To learn how to use bubble graphs, I've copy-pasted the example and modified it.
The example is ebola occurrence by year, Plague Inc style. So naturally I need to add some countries. For testing, of course.
Ebola for everyone! Yay.
I like my job.2 -
Of course, I just swiped the wrong way on my fucking laptop trackpad and list everything I just typed. FUCKING MARVELOUS.
TL;DR: Teacher stopped me from being productive. Principal almost called cops on me. Nearly threw chair at librarian.
So I'm at school yesterday, and we have a presenter in 2nd hour, so naturally, I'm gonna be on my computer doing things for other classes at the same time. Efficiency. Teacher doesn't like it, I refuse to put the computer away telling her that I'll be more productive and still pay attention, which HAS BEEN PROVEN MIND YOU, but she ends up calling security on me and I get sent down to the principal's office.
I talk to him, and he says 'Yeah, I know it's in the way, but you have to follow the directive given by the teachers.' Fine, fuck it. Won't go to her class for third hour. (I have her twice in a row for two different classes.) Next day.
I walk in, asking her if she's gonna do the same thing she did yesterday, hoping that she realized her error and will fix it, but no. She says I STILL can't have the computer out. I'm sorry, do you not realize I have 6 other fucking classes, most of which are required to graduate, unlike YOURS, as well as a FUCKING COLLEGE CLASS TONIGHT?! She gives the ultimatum. 'Obey or leave.' Fine, I'll leave. I go to the principal's office again, he must have a stick up his ass or something today because he's not budging. We argue for a while and he gives a WORSE ultimatum: 'Obey, Go to the Library, In House Suspension, or I'll call the police.' What the actual FUCK MAN?! You're gonna call the POLICE on a NONVIOLENT STUDENT?! Are you fucking MAD? I keep trying to tell him that there's an easy solution to this, but as he's getting up to call the cops, I say 'Fine! I'll go to the library!' He follows me over to make sure I don't kill anyone on the way.
I slam the door to the library open, and when I walk in, the librarian is there at her computer, and she asks 'Where are you coming from?' 'Principal!' 'I need a pass-' 'Well, I'm sorry, I can't exactly get anything for you right now, I was just sent down here.' She says 'Either way, I need some kind of note or pas-' 'Listen, I'm not in the mood for any of this right now. Please, just leave me be.' She then tries to say something, but I cut her off quickly, 'Just back off and leave me alone right now. The more you push it, the more you're gonna make me want to throw this chair!' Imagine the volume just gradually getting louder on that last one. She quickly runs out and talks to the security desk or something, which is right outside the library door, but she's the only one who comes in, thankfully. I was expecting to be fucking dragged out for no good reason. I'm loud, not violent. I have no history of violence.
So yeah. Here I am in the school library, angrily tapping away at my keyboard, trying not to throw the entire table to the fucking moon. All because this broken-ass public school system has no idea how to deviate from the norm when it's actually productive and efficient to do so. And now, the obligatory:
FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT WHY DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE COMPLETELY WRONG IN EVERY SINGLE THING YOU ARE DOING YOU IDIOTIC SCUM-FILLED MEAT SACKS OF NO FORSEEABLE VALUE! FUCK!1 -
In 2015 I sent an email to Google labs describing how pareidolia could be implemented algorithmically.
The basis is that a noise function put through a discriminator, could be used to train a generative function.
And now we have transformers.
I also told them if they looked back at the research they would very likely discover that dendrites were analog hubs, not just individual switches. Thats turned out to be true to.
I wrote to them in an email as far back as 2009 that attention was an under-researched topic. In 2017 someone finally got around to writing "attention is all you need."
I wrote that there were very likely basic correlates in the human brain for things like numbers, and simple concepts like color, shape, and basic relationships, that the brain used to bootstrap learning. We found out years later based on research, that this is the case.
I wrote almost a decade ago that personality systems were a means that genes could use to value-seek for efficient behaviors in unknowable environments, a form of adaption. We later found out that is probably true as well.
I came up with the "winning lottery ticket" hypothesis back in 2011, for why certain subgraphs of networks seemed to naturally learn faster than others. I didn't call it that though, it was just a question that arose because of all the "architecture thrashing" I saw in the research, why there were apparent large or marginal gains in slightly different architectures, when we had an explosion of different approaches. It seemed to me the most important difference between countless architectures, was initialization.
This thinking flowed naturally from some ideas about network sparsity (namely that it made no sense that networks should be fully connected, and we could probably train networks by intentionally dropping connections).
All the way back in 2007 I thought this was comparable to masking inputs in training, or a bottleneck architecture, though I didn't think to put an encoder and decoder back to back.
Nevertheless it goes to show, if you follow research real closely, how much low hanging fruit is actually out there to be discovered and worked on.
And to this day, google never fucking once got back to me.
I wonder if anyone ever actually read those emails...
Wait till they figure out "attention is all you need" isn't actually all you need.
p.s. something I read recently got me thinking. Decoders can also be viewed as resolving a manifold closer to an ideal form for some joint distribution. Think of it like your data as points on a balloon (the output of the bottleneck), and decoding as the process of expanding the balloon. In absolute terms, as the balloon expands, your points grow apart, but as long as the datapoints are not uniformly distributed, then *some* points will grow closer together *relatively* even as the surface expands and pushes points apart in the absolute.
In other words, for some symmetry, the encoder and bottleneck introduces an isotropy, and this step also happens to tease out anisotropy, information that was missed or produced by the encoder, which is distortions introduced by the architecture/approach, features of the data that got passed on through the bottleneck, or essentially hidden features.4 -
One of the best times I had coding was when my friend and I were coding our very first program at University. Both of us had no prior experience with coding and really had nothing to do besides school. So we naturally became friends through coding.
Sometimes just thinking about those sorts of memories can take a great deal of stress of your shoulders, because one can think back to a simpler time. -
I hate having to deal with our IT service desk. Every time it takes enormous energy to get to the right people and make them understand that no, you are not an idiot, but you actually have a technical issue.
Sure thing they do have a few competent nice folks there too I've gotten to know over time and they indeed have to deal with a ton of dumb non-tech savvy idiots on a daily basis. However, if my job title mentions "software" and "engineer" they should at least assume I'm an idiot in tech. Or something. Every single time I need to open a ticket, even for the simplest "add x to env y", I need to quadruple check that the subject line is moron-friendly because otherwise they would take every chance to respond "nah we can't do that", "that's not us", or "sry that's not allowed". And then I would need to respond, "yes you do:) your slightly more competent colleague just did this for us 2 weeks ago".
Now you might imagine this is on even another level when the problem is complex.
One of our internal apps has been failing because one of the internal APIs managed by a service desk team responds a 500 status code randomly but only when called with a specific internal account managed by another service desk team.
(when I say "managed by", that doesn't mean they maintain it, it just mean they are the only ones who would have access to change something)
Yesterday I spent over a fucking hour writing a super precise essay detailing the issue, proving a million times it's not on our end and that they need to fix it. Now here is an insight to what beautiful "IT service" our service desk provides:
1) ticket gets assigned to a "Connectivity Engineer" lady
2) few hours later she responds and asks me to give her the app and environment IDs and grant her access to those
(naturally everything in my email was ignored including these two IDs)
3) since the app needs to be in prod for the issue, I make a copy isolating the failing part and grant her access to the original "for reference" and the copy to play with
4) few hours later I get an email from the env that some guy called P made changes to the actual app, no changes to the copy
(maybe they immediately fixed the app even though I asked them to only touch the copy)
I also check the env and the live app had been shared with another 2 people giving them editing rights:)
5) another few hours pass and the lady responds that she had been chatting with P (no mention of who tf that guy is) and that P has a suggestion that might work and I should test it, "please see screen shot" for details:
These motherfuckers sent me a fucking screenshot of the env config file where "P has edited a few parameters" that might help. The screenshot had a 16 line part of the config json with a bunch of IDs and Base64 params which HE EDITED LOCALLY.
Again, because I needed a few iterations to realise what I've just witnessed:
These idiots modified some things in the main app (not the copy) for hours. Then came to the conclusion that the config needs some IDs and params updated. They downloaded the config json. Edited it locally. Did not fucking upload it back to the main or test app. Did not test it live. Did not CC in or direct the guy with changes to me. Did not send me the modified config file. Did not even paste the new IDs into the email. But TOOK A FUCKING SCREENSHOT OF THE MODIFIED FILE AND SENT THAT SHIT TO ME. And then had the audacity to ask me to test it when they had access to it and that's literally their fucking job.
I had to compare the fucking screenshot to the live config file and manually type in the changes.
And no, it still doesn't work. And Now I have to get back to them showing it still fails the same way but I just can't deal with these people. Fuck. Was hoping by the time I write it all down it'd be better, and it does feel a bit better, but I still need to get this app fixed. And I can only do it through these... monkeys. I just can't. Talking to these people drains my life energy... I'm just sad. -
Met one of my friends after almost three months. (He was out on vacation)
We randomly start talking about life and what we aspire to be.
He's doing Business Management Studies, so naturally, he wants to be some sort of manager.
He then asks about me. I tell him how I'm learning and aspiring to be a Web dev and do a little bit of ML on the side.
And following conversation ensues:
Him- Dude, what's the use of learning web development? Anyone can make a website today. Haven't you seen those ads?
Me- *Knowing he's talking about WIX* Yeah I've seen em. But it mostly generates dumb templates. If you need something custom, you gotta take help from a professional.
Him - Nah dude, you can get custom made stuff from them too. Web developers will soon lose their jobs. Learn something else.
Me - *Trying to control the urge to punch, I tried to explain that a website is more than HTML and CSS*
He - *Doesn't want to understand what I'm saying and says I should do something else, since automation will take away developer jobs *
WHAT THE FLYING SPAGHETTI FUCK!?
Why don't these people FUCKING UNDERSTAND (even after telling again and again) that there's more to a website THAN JUST FUCKING STATIC TEMPLATES
EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU FUCKING BASTARDS
And what's with claiming to know more about someone's profession than the person himself who's spending his days and nights dealing with problems your fucking zombie brains can't even fathom.
This was literally the third guy I met this month who said something similar. Are these people so common now?2 -
VirusTotal's API could do with a make over.
Though it is quite nice actually, you're able to provide them with a hash of a file and (provided they've scanned it) VT is able to tell you what up to 60 different virus scanners thinks about the file (and how many scanners that has an opinion about it). Now if there's an error, like the file not having been scanned or the hash being incomplete, it give you some JSON back where there will be an error message that tells you the error and an error code of 0.. wait wh
Although since it's an API they also need give us plebs whose only got access to an API key that limits us to 4 requests pr minutes. Naturally when you try to do another request within a minute of your limit the response you get is absolutely nothing what so ever. "" Naturally.
And of course the same response should be given when the API key you provide isn't valid. Who needs errors amiright?
No wonder JSON.parse kept throwing exceptions
4 -
This literally happened in my current team, and I'm not even an experienced dev yet.
Incident happened like this :
Our team is working on a RCP based on eclipse plugins, which has a headless mode and a GUI mode. Now, in the GUI mode, my manager cum architect thought there are no need of user log files (long story) because the user can see the info on screen, whereas in the headless mode, she wanted me to print the logs onto the console and a log file as well.
Now it just so happened that our team had got a recent addition as a replacement to our lead developer (she left the company) who claimed she had 3 years of expertise and a masters degree, and she was assigned a task. The task was to format a custom file we were generating out of the product (basically dumping info in a file) in a human-readable format. Miss new-addition-masters-degree decided it would be a very good idea to redirect the standard java output stream to a file output stream ( which she used for generating the formatted file ) but somehow never realized that she needed to reset the output stream back to standard output.
Consequences were devastating. I wrote the logic for the logger ( yes, apparently any available logging mechanism won't do it, again, long story ) and had it printing to a file in tmp directory. The logs seemed to be working fine initially but after a few logs, specifically from the point where the formatter started working, all the logs got printed in the formatted file. And this file was supposed to be used by our clients to develop something on top of it. Naturally, I got the heat of it and then naturally, worried and nervous and curious and in a frenzied state of mind, I started debugging.
When I got to the actual fault, I seriously could not decide whether to cry or laugh or call up miss masters and scream at her. I decided to ask her about what the hell she had written and her answer was most of it was written by the developer she replaced, so she didn't know it would cause this much problem. Anyway, I fixed the leak after that and averted the catastrophe.
And that, fellow devs, is the story of how I solved a crisis in my first year at corporate.1 -
FIRE DRILL!!!!!
Customer who decided to deploy our system in the middle of their busiest time ... and kinda ad hoc-ed their ... human processes (not sure what to call it). Just to get by, and then sort of let things rot.
So last week they contact us and say "OMG some poor soul at this company was spending hours making spreadsheets to track what they were doing... and they keep fucking it up because it's nigh impossible to get right".
Real story, big shake up at the company, and someone said "lets look at our process" and they discovered "holy fuck we have this software but we're doing shit like it's the damned civil war".
This naturally raised questions about the competence of the folks we work with ... who chose our software, and thus our software.
So now we're flushing out all the stuff we asked the customer to figure out months ago that is usually done via a months long implementation / integration ... in a few days. Also ... I'm making some new things for them.
WEEEEEEEE
Granted, we're billing them like mad for this so no big deal really.1 -
Making an app for Android and iOS, for a football club in league.
Android, naturally is no problem.
iOS.....
"Your app or its metadata appears to contain misleading content.
Specifically, your app includes content that resembles one or multiple third-party sports teams and/or leagues."
....yes....because it's an app for a football club in a league.
What else can I do about that? Can I have more specifics?5 -
If it’s a personal project, I’ll put it off for a while and do something else to switch things up - I might work on a different project for a day and then pick the first one up again.
If it’s a work project, I can’t naturally put it down, but I might just drop it for a shorter period of time, like a minute or two. Get up, take a walk, refresh my thoughts.
This may of course be a slippery slope for some, but for me it’s proven effective in juggling my projects. -
bae: hey,do you know where did the word 'oops' came from?
me: object oriented programming? 😋
bae: no, its from the noises that we naturally make when we slice our palm with the Night Cheese knife 😝
me:(quick search on the stack exchange app meanwhile) 😑 it's an alteration of upsy-daisy blah blah
and then she's like GOOD NIGHT!
😂😂 -
I just had to quit a part time programming job because I couldn't do it. I'm not really sure how I feel, there were alot of factors.
I took an internship about a year back to do some embedded C. I kicked ass and developed a system that really solved alot of problems for the company and so people started giving me "the hard back shelf problems". Like those problems that are really valuable if someone can get it working but not so important that it blocks anything day to day. Totally fair work for an intern, that is both complex and interesting.
When school started I took a part time remote role working on one of these problems. Fast forward to now (few months of remote work at school); i can't handle the stress. If I devote more time to work I fail a test. If I ace a test my work duties go neglected. On top of that my boss misses scheduled calls with me left and right, I even reminded him everyday 3 days before hand once!!!
Naturally I started feeling like I should quit. I was no longer interested in the work from a pure academic view, and emotionally hated doing it. However, since I was a good performer this place offered to interview my little brother!! Fuck, so do I choose my happiness or my brothers. It feels evil to choose myself over my brother. My brother, he's just a freshman so I know his odds are very low of getting an internship this year are low. And the place I worked at had some weight in the name so I could seriously jump start my little bros career. I do know however that if I don't quit that I will fail school, and do it while being miserable.
And so I quite my first remote job, from my first internship. I feel happy about, but also like I let someone down (them?, Me?, BROTHER?).1 -
!dev
Today I learnt something, I wish I learnt this earlier (I'm 25 now , it is late?).
What I learnt:
1. Never out -shined your superior, as it naturally stir up all sorts of resentments , envy, insecurities and possibilities of getting you replace by someone level intelligent. Because superior feel threatened.
2. Never try to fake what you don't know, and real to what you know. (As I saw someone faking themselves as someone who they are not, they eventually manifested tonnes of shit to themselves.)
So is what I learnt is actually make sense and valid? or just an opinion?4 -
Poll: I see a lot of Windows users here, naturally as it's the dominant OS. I do wonder how many of you dev's that would be willing to accept lower compensation in exchange for instead working in Linux?9
-
I'm currently between jobs and have a few rants about my previous job (naturally). In retrospect, it's somewhat therapeutic to range about the sheer brainfuckery that has taken place. Enjoy!
First, let me set the scene: legacy B2B web app made with LEMP stack and sencha ext.js 3 + 4 (don't ask) and a lot of madness. Let's call that app "Alpha".
Alpha is a self made CMS build for typical ERP stuff. Yes, a self made CMS: entities are containers, containers have types and fields and values. Like so many legacy PHP apps, it does not have a dedicated FE: the HTML is rendered on the server and then spewed out to the browser.
Easy right? Coding like it's 1999! But there was a twist: Because everything is basically a container, the HTML-templates are saved in the DB. Along with the nessary JS and the CSS. And the translation variables. Why? Because fuck you! That's why. Who needs a git history anyways.
For some reason, Alpha was kinda slow.
There was also an editor, that allowed you to modify templates (web, mail, pdf) on the fly in prod. Because templates contain repeating data (header/footer), one template could contain additional templates. Much confusion. You could change templates via migration (slow, boring) or just ctrl-c/ctrl-v that sucker (fast, much excitement).
Did I mention Alpha was slow?
On with the rant: e-mails! How do they work? Noone knows. How to send mails asynchronous in PHP? Witchcraft is the only possible answer to that riddle. Here is your enterprise™ solution:
1. create mail
2. insert mail into DB
3. WAIT UP TO 59 SECONDS FOR A FUCKING CRON TO SEND MAIL
Why? "Because that way, we can resend mails in case the network is down :)"
Same procedure for the SOAP-API (db-queue + cron). You read that right: all requests to various other systems are processed once a minute.
Alpha slow.
Alpha was only one of several systems. Imagine a bunch of monolithic php apps, interconnected via SOAP, REST and GraphQL like a godamn intergalactic orgy. Image having to debug that cluster fuck.
Let's say there is a bad request. These things happen. No biggie. Remember the db-queue? Let's try to send the bad request a second time! And a third time! Still no luck? How odd. Let's create a specific file in a specific directory: a LOCK-file. Now, "the db-queue is on hold and no request gets processed :)"
Golly gee thanks Alpha.
Anyhow, did you know that MySQL has a join limit of 61 tables?
3 -
I learned coding the best way: While getting paid. I was an Excel junkie (still consider myself as one) and a colleague taught me PHP. This gave me the skills to apply for real programming jobs. Eventually I was hired at a company as a PHP developer who would need to be flexible enough to transition into a C# developer within the next 6 months. It wasn't easy, but after about 8 months and a 1-week course later I was programming in C# .NET with grace. Not looking back at PHP now at all. Naturally, today I can apply for a whole bunch of different jobs that I definitely could not three years ago.
I have the dearth of good programmers to thank for this of course and I am grateful every moment when I understand how lucky I've been. -
We need to update the slang "script kiddie" to "prompt enginot" or something.
So my boss's boss or someone even higher up drank the generative AI kool-aid and hired a 40-something kid to generate images for the marketing teams (or something like it).
Naturally, things soon went to shit.
The bloke already left, having staid less than six months on the job.
Guess who got to handle all the shit-is-currently-on-fire the kiddie left behind?
First impression: apparently, muggles tried to slak him some very broad descriptions of what they needed, and at first he actually tried to summarize those bark-speech pseudo-words into an actual prompt.
It does not seem to have gone for too long, though.
After users requested changes to the AI outputs, he would update the prompts, all right. And the process seemed to go fast enough... until reaching near-to-completion status.
Then users would request the tiniest changes to the AI output...
And the bloke couldn't do it.
Seriously. Some things were as simple as "we need this slider to go all the way up to 180% instead of 100%" on a lame dashboard and *kid. could. not. do. it.*.
In many cases he literally just gave up and copied the slak history into the AI prompt. No dice.
Bloke couldn't code a print('hello world') into a jupyter notebook cell, that's what i'm saying.
Apparently, he was "self taught", too. And was hired to "speed up the process of generating visual aids for usage in meetings and presentations". But then "the budget for this position was considered excessive" (meaning: shit results from a raw idea some executive crapped some day) and "the position was expanded to include the development of Business Inteligence Dashboards and Data Apps".
So now it is up to me (and my CRIMINALLY UNDERPAID team) to clean up his mess and maintain/fix/deprecate DOZENS of SHODDILY DESIGNED and MOSTLY USELESS but QUITE ACTIVE "data vis" PIECES OF SHIT.
Fuck "AI prompters", fucking snake oil script kiddies.7 -
So working for a company and the dev team I’m apart of works on a legacy rails app. Technical debt is high, no automated tests, no proper routing and also running unsupported versions of the language.
I joined seven months ago and got the current team doing automated testing so that’s a plus, they bought this app four years ago and there’s been no language updates, testing, cleanup, security updates, nothing, just adding to bad code.
Now we’re looking to actually upgrade language versions, the language and the framework now this will cause a lot of stuff to break naturally due to how outdated it is.
So I started putting proper routes into place how things should of been when things were being built as we have some spare time I decided to go out of my way to clear up some of the technical debt to get ahead of the curb. Re-done an entire section of the app, massive speed improvements, better views, controller, model, comment clean up and everything exactly how it should be.
I push the PR,
*other dev* - “why are we doing all of these other changes”
*me* - “well to implement routes properly, we have to use the new routes I just did some extra cleanup along the way”
*today, me* - “can you lend me a hand with one of the routes the ID isn’t getting passed”
*today, other dev* - “this wouldn’t of happened if you didn’t redo all these files, let’s just scrap the changes”
…
Sooo, I’ve spend three weeks improving one section in the app, because I’m having issues with one route according to this dev I should scrap it? Wait come again, am I the only one in this team who cares about making this app better all round?
Frustrating…4 -
Do cartoon characters with four fingers per hand (and assuming only two arms) naturally think in octal? Or is it just a happy coincidence that humans developed base 10 because we (normally) have 10 fingers?1
-
semi dev related(later half)
A common and random thought I have:
A lot of units that humans use are either needlessly arbitrary or based on something weird. Like Fahrenheit. That shit is weird! 0°F is the freezing point of a water and salt solution. What a weird fucking thing to use!
But also, I like Fahrenheit more. Probably because it's what I was raised with and switching is tedious (though I'm trying. I'd like to use metric more), but also because one degree F is a smaller, more precise change. You can describe more accuracy without decimals.
On the other hand I prefer metric for length. Centimeters, and centimeters are way more precise and way less confusing than inches and .... 1/8th inches? Who the fuck decided on 1/8ths?!
Which brings me to my common thought:
If you look at a Unix timestamp, you can approximate somewhat when it happened. Knowing the current timestamp and a few reference points you can see RELATIVELY what a epoch stamp translates to. A few days ago, an hr ago, 2014ish.
This leads me to think that if we actually taught from a young age to think in epoch as a unit (not as a replacement to normal date formats but as a secondary at first) that we could just naturally read epoch time in the same manner we read dates like "28/01/2006 14:24:10 UTC"
In your brain you automatically know how old you were when that timestamp happened. What grade/job and where you lived at the time. What season it was. You know how far into the day it was, a little before lunch (or after or whatever, your time zone will vary). Now try with 1138458250. I can usually get roughly the year, and month if I really think about it, but that's it. And it takes much more effort
I'm sure there's other units we could benefit from but epoch is the one that usually brings this to mind for me.13 -
So I was just wondering why is do Snapchat take worse photos on android but we have better cameras so I download and check the source code naturally I check the source code and lo and behold I see this apparently snap for android doesn't use the camera it just screenshots it wtf?
1 -
Turns out you can treat a a function mapping parameters to outputs as a product that acts as a *scaling* of continuous inputs to outputs, and that this sits somewhere between neural nets and regression trees.
Well thats what I did, and the MAE (or error) of this works out to about ~0.5%, half a percentage point. Did training and a little validation, but the training set is only 2.5k samples, so it may just be overfitting.
The idea is you have X, y, and z.
z is your parameters. And for every row in y, you have an entry in z. You then try to find a set of z such that the product, multiplied by the value of yi, yields the corresponding value at Xi.
Naturally I gave it the ridiculous name of a 'zcombiner'.
Well, fucking turns out, this beautiful bastard of a paper just dropped in my lap, and its been around since 2020:
https://mimuw.edu.pl/~bojan/papers/...
which does the exact god damn thing.
I mean they did't realize it applies to ML, but its the same fucking math I did.
z is the monoid that finds some identity that creates an isomorphism between all the elements of all the rows of y, and all the elements of all the indexes of X.
And I just got to say it feels good. -
never before have I been happy to be asked to work overtime, but for once, fuck yeah...
Bit of back story, I am tech lead on a massive project that has been run like a complete shit show, the PM who also happens to be the brains behind the project seems to think we are miracle workers and for the first 9/10 months of the project would make significant, like delete a weeks worth of code and start over changes, 3-5 times per week. There are features for the v1 release that have been built in excess of 5 times. I have been saying since October that even without all his constant changes, we will NOT make the deadline, and naturally as is part of my job I argued against every unnecessary feature he tried to implement, eventually he pulled me into a meeting to tell me how much he values my opinion, I need to stop arguing with him and he does not want to work with yes men (I have a rant about that convo already).
I believe our CEO finally started smelling a rat as he insisted on joining our daily stand-ups, during which said PM scripted some lovely stories to disguise the fuckup we are in, and since has assigned another PM to take over and do proper project management and risk analysis.
That is where the email comes in, a lot of the work assigned to me will miss the deadline by a month, honestly I am impressed that it is by so little and so few people will not be missing it, but anyway, he probably spun a few stories there too.
So I spent part of the work compiling the most perfect surgical response as not not actively throw him under the bu, but create a quite a few questions that they hopefully as, as himself and the CEO where cc'd into the mail.
And the jist is, the deadline itself was still impossible and 8 of the 10 tasks assigned to be have ZERO back-end whatsoever, and those tasks are about 80/90% integration to said non-existent back-end, some of those services and data structures have not even been planned yet and we are a week past the deadline and 3 weeks from the just as useless extension. -
Hello all,
I am .NET dev for a while now and web development was mostly my area of expertise. Lately, i got a bit bored with all this and as a passionate gamer, i wanted to try out game development in unreal engine. Naturally i had big plans and went for big PC game but soon realized what enormous task that is. That's why I decided to test myself with mobile games first. Here is the link to my first game created :) https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
If anyone is interested in checking this out i would like to hear your comments and remarks.1 -
A whole bunch of new features were added mid-sprint without ever consulting any of the development team. They dogpiled on devs from other projects who had no prior experience with the code base, so naturally I lose traction because I'm tied up answering questions and explaining things.
This sprint I'm not getting any feature work done as I'm stuck fixing bugs and awful half-ass implementations (by well meaning devs that were thrown at unrealistic expectations).
Concerned at the burn down rate, next week they're planning on dogpiling on more guys to play catch up.
I'm so sad -
414 rants since your last visit,
Alright devrant, here we go.
> client adds a home button to the subdomain
> asks to add a feature from which user can come to the homepage of subdomain
> naturally, add "/" in the href of the home
> client gets frenzy
> "that home button was supposed to redirect users to the main domain"
> I'm like wtf bro
> anyways adds another home button to redirect to the home of the subdomain.
now let's see how confused the users get1 -
I had a technical test on Tuesday on Linux and SQL. I thought I failed. I get a call that I did pretty well and now they want me for an interview. Naturally, I get very excited.
I get a date for the interview and get ready to shine... until I accept the video call and find out that it is a technical interview! But this time instead I have to express myself in a foreign language.
(And also not with the people I was supposed to have the interview with)
No worse way to stress someone XYZ company! Totally uncool!!!
I think now I can go in a shadowy corner and whimper.9 -
!dev
I'm stuck in another country because of coronavirus, living in my mother in law's house, which is a church.
this church has two levels. while we are in the higher level, the lower level is being rented to some women that I hadn't seen since I've been here.
there is a library at the lower level next to their rooms and I'm using it to work because I can't focus with all the chatter in the upper level.
second day of work and 2 hours into coding, I get my balls held onto my legs. Trust me, I had just taken a proper shower, and I don't sweat a lot, it's just my balls being balls.
Naturally I try to separate said balls from my legs with my balls. Guess who the fuck I see passing through. One of these women.
Jesus fucking christ. What a good first fucking impression. Me with my hand in my fucking crotch.2 -
Looking for ideas here...
OK, customer runs a manufacturing business. A local web developer solicits them, convinces them to let him move their website onto his system.
He then promptly disappears. No phone calls, no e-mail, no anything for 3 months by the time they called me looking to fix things.
Since we have no access to FTP or anything except the OpenCart admin, we agree to a basic rebuild of the website and a redeployment onto a SiteGround account that they control. Dev process goes smoothly, customer is happy.
Come time to launch and...naturally, the previous dev pointed the nameservers to his account, which will not allow the business to make changes because they aren't the account owner.
"We can work around this," I figure, since all we *really* need to do is change the A records, and we can leave the e-mail set up as it is (hopefully).
Well, that hopefully is kind of true—turns out instead of being set up in GoDaddy (where the domain is registered) it's set up in Gmail—and the customer doesn't know which account is the Google admin account associated with the domain. For all we know it could be the previous developer—again.
I've been able to dig up the A, MX, and TXT records, and I'm seeing references to dreamhost.com (where the nameservers are at) in the SPF data in the TXT records. Am I going to have to update these records, or will it be safe to just leave them as they are and simply update the A record as originally planned?6 -
I was watching cards @ rams on Monday. Commercials were on so naturally I was using my phone when suddenly I hear the slack's notification sound from somewhere in the room. I look up thinking what teammate is messaging me and what could they possibly want, only to realize there's a slack advert on and the notification sound came from it. Why would slack show ad mid NFL games AND put a sound that everyone associates with work? I am 🤏 close to suing slack for causing work trauma outside work hours1
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Only person on my team in the office...and naturally the only other person in my area here is the fucking Boy Scout. I was going to blast JPop, but this sad sack of shit is here.2
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Damn, since my last rant where I was complaining about me having big troubles coding stuff when asked by an exercise or given instructions, I feel like I've made huge progress now, by sticking a bit to my "at least 5 exercises a day" routine, now as soon as I code, it comes to me more and more naturally.
I'm so glad I can see the practice really paying off, even thanks to a simple function working great at the first compile makes me feel warm inside even tho it ain't gonna last long.2 -
Status: Got off hour+ long call with provider teir2 tech support because their "sync service" isn't syncing. "It's all cloud controlled" they tell me. Whatever.
It does have the ability to install a Windows service to do the needful! 🎉
However the program that does the actual syncing is the "launcher" application, and the service's only job is to tell the launcher to run. 🤦♂️
Their assumption is that there will be a user that gets smacked in the face with a UAC prompt when they first log in and just shrug it away. Which is the Launcher application.
The sync service is not capable of running the sync application without a desktop session I guess?
MOTHERTRUCKERS do you understand what the point of a Windows Service is?!?
I tried relating this situation to how Windows Update works: It will update whenever the fuck it wants without the user doing anything because of the Service, and you only configure the service with the Control Panel/Settings App. You don't need the Control Panel/Settings App running in order for Windows Update to work, but it's there for status info and configuration.
Anyways, this software does not do that. It apparently *requires* both the service AND the launcher program running in order to work. Not work properly, to work *at all*.
Anyways, It's installed on a computer that's not normally logged into, but is always on (where other "always needs to be running" programs live). Normally the hackaround would be to launch the program via Scheduled Task.
This program apparently does not want to run as a scheduled task, or the Task Scheduler is being stupid and can't figure out "Hey, it's time to run this program. Do it!". Naturally it runs if told manually.
The fact that I'm even doing this at all is stupid, but even more infuriating is that it's just not working unattended. You know, what the service should be doing. But no, the service runs happily all alone, doing nothing of note, while Task Scheduler sucks its stick running OneDrive installer but not the launcher program.
Pluckin' donuts...2 -
dev vs QA rant (n + 1)
So our QA is done by China team so naturally time difference is quite irritating,
I cannot change code
I cannot debug for issue
So today I fix a critical issue and before pushing it my seniors send the to the QA
> QA unavailable
> I wait for QA because nobody notifies if the code is tested and I can work ahead
> I get review that my issue fix generated another issue (page gets redirected)
> I'm angry and astonished, I check on same link, same circumstances and no such issue is found
> My seniors say read the issue properly and I do it, no positive response when I contradict the QA
> QA leaves for home on Friday and critical issue still remains in live
I cannot believe the laziness of QA, I mean it's their loss at the end of the day.
> top of that I waited 2 hours for QA to check the issue2 -
Challenge questions are so goddamn stupid.
Apparently I have an account with a certain online organization though I don't remember setting it up.
So naturally I had no idea of my username or password, so they asked me challenge questions.
It asked me the city of my birth, which is a place with a weird spelling. Because of that weird spelling, I never remember if I'm spelling it right (I was only there as a newborn infant) And I'm also supposed to remember if I capitalized it or not.
I hate challenge questions. And anyone doing any remotely simple research on me shouldn't have trouble learning what city I was born in so it seems to me it's a security vulnerability, nothing more.
And maybe I'm giving things away by saying it asks me that question, but it's a common security question any hacker would anticipate anyways.3 -
My reasons for going to work on this Monday:
-weather really nice
-I'll be able to spend $$$ on boba and other nice foods
-commuting will naturally block away time to work on my reading list
-there's supposed to be a new PC waiting to be set up
I want to do actual work....🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 -
Hi I’m a Python Developer, tired of doing internal applications using Excel as a UI. I’m thinking of proposing to turn most of our projects into internal web apps instead. Has anyone gone through this sort of problem?
My team is quite pro at using Excel, so naturally they prefer to use the tools I build from Excel. Some of those tools are also used by external teams, but they are not as capable with Excel, so they need supervision and guidance.
There are multiple concerns that arise:
- I code on Mac, but they need to run it on Windows, so compatibility issues
- Some of their laptops might not have enough resources to run the tasks
- Errors are harder to trace and could be very user-specific.
- New developers might not be familiar with Excel and the way to integrate with Python
I would like to know your opinion or criticism10 -
There's too many web apps out there that advertise having great accessibility, but whose only claim to that is that they work okay-ish with screenreaders.
There's more to accessibility, darnit! Not just blind people, also remember people with impaired colour perception, people who have to use increased font sizes, people with poor contrast perception (can we please not do light-gray text, links, or buttons on white background anymore?), and many more.
The amount of apps alone that just are impossible to use properly with increased font sizes due to cut-off unscrollable text or buttons pushed out of the visible part of the page is staggering. Or where you get permanently stuck inside a rich-text editor if you can only navigate by keyboard, or where whole parts of the page are impossible to properly use with background images turned off...
I'm aware this might sound unreasonable and I know it's extra effort to learn all the rules, but once these things are not an afterthought, but rather something to take care of starting even during first implementation, it starts to come naturally.
But would it be unreasonable to ask of an architect to not put the restrooms, conference rooms, managers office, where they can only be reached by stairs? I don't think it would be. Sure it makes placing them more complicated, but excluding people from being able to use the building due to circumstances beyond their control feels a bit elitist and snobby to me.
Saw an app last week where a lot of features were behind click-handlers on elements that are not supposed to be interactive like <div>, <li>, and <span> tags. How's someone who can't use the visual clues even supposed to know that the element is interactive?
And yes, there's some of these points where ensuring accessibility is not just the devs job but also the designer's responsibility (contrast rules for example), but in my experience if the devs notice "oh hey, this could be problematic" then the design people usually listen.
Honestly in the case of accessibility I believe that putting off some features for later to make time to ensure that what's there is accessible, even if it only affects 1% of visitors, belongs into the "social responsibility" category, and most clients I've worked with were open to the subject.
I do believe it's something that everyone should take time to learn.
PS: I don't mean to attack anyone, I just wish it were something that more people watch out for.5 -
This is something that I hadn't done or that directly impacted me, but that had an effect in my life several years after it happened.
It's one of those stories that you think "this only happens to others", and then someday you're the "others".
So when I was born, I was, naturally, registered on the health care system. My parents chose an uncommon name for me (uncommon in my country) so I think I wasn't registered by the time of my birth, but 4 months later when all the bureaucratic crap came to an end (long story short, the guy that was there when it started died and my parents had to wait 4 months for another person to be appointed). So, when my parents finally went to register me, apparently, for some reason, the computer took my name and assumed it was a male name. As I've said, my name is uncommon in my country, there're probably 3 or 4 people with the same name here in Portugal.
Why did the computer assume it was a male name AND why didn't nobody check that? Since my parents had to ask to government entities to let them name me that name, I'm assuming it wasn't in their db. So why did it assume male? Was it purposely programmed that, by default, all "newly-registered" names were to be male? Was it random? Who the hell knows.
And how did nobody check that, every time I went to take vaccines? I don't think anyone told my mom that everytime we went there that the data was wrong, otherwise the situation wouldn't have lasted for 14 years.
We only knew about that mishap when it was time I had to take vaccines specifically for women and that I wasn't being noticed of it even though a friend 1y younger than me had already taken hers.
I find this story amusing but now that I started thinking about how it came to life (no pun intended) I'm actually a bit pissed off about how they didn't think of uncommon names and that how that could affect their registry in the system. They could have - IDK - placed "undefined" in that field so that it would caught the register's attention.
Moral of the story: don't assume stuff :v1 -
My god, I just had to use a very ugly hack involving HTML generation via string concatenation, passing a function as a parameter and closures.
Now I appreciate languages that achieve such things naturally even more.2 -
This is why I don't use and will probably never use Python.
Back in the uni days, I had a very important assignment. It determined whether I was going to the fourth grade from the third or not. It involved math and charting. It was very complex, and I spent a very long time on research, naturally. I knew Python 3, and I decided to use it. The only lib I needed was matplotlib, which I installed with pip. So I did the whole thing, tested it again at home, closed my laptop and was ready to go. My laptop used Windows 7 and was set up to ignore the lid closing. When I closed it, nothing would happen, even the screen stayed on. When I arrived at the lab, I opened my laptop, hit Ctrl + B as usual… and matplotlib import wasn't working. I obviously panicked, I tried to do something about it, but it just kept throwing an import error. Reinstalling the library didn't help. My friends too weren't able to help me. It just wasn't working, and that was it.
I failed the assignment, automatically. I had nothing to show. This was the first time I failed anything in the uni. Later I rewrote the code in C++ with Qt plotting library, and everything worked fine.
I never used Python since. I did everything uni with C++, and later with JavaScript. I don't care if it was Windows error or Python's. My Windows install was clean, I reinstalled it pretty much every year and kept the default settings. My laptop was for studying purposes only, and all my personal life happened on my desktop.
I didn't use exotic things like PyPy. It was just Python 3, the most basic, official installation. If you promote your fucking language as a cross-platform solution, please be bothered to make its basic behaviour stable on the most popular OS out there.
I will probably never use Python again. Maybe this issue was addressed and fixed. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it never would've happened on Linux or Mac. I don't care. It's like maintaining friendship with a person that betrayed you. I just can't do it.
JS and NPM never failed me.6 -
hey guys if any of you guys are good with legal stuff some help would be appreciated.
so there’s this brand tld, which i won’t state for privacy sake. it is, coincidentally, my last name. naturally, i thought it would be pretty cool if i could change my personal domain to <my first name>.<my last name> but after contacting them i did not get a response.
do you guys think i have any legal standing to get my domain? could anyone help?8 -
We had a tutorial on how to use spark/Hadoop.. part of the tutorial was the installation instructions for Ubuntu vms.
The Prof insisted we used an older version of Hadoop (v2.1.5), so naturally this required pulling older repos and older versions of java.
Naturally, some of the people in the class got some namespacing issues and garbage left from uninstalled packages.
Now, the tutorial was geared towards business/math people, not com sci. So most of the people didn't understand why apt didn't let them run certain commands (even though it very clearly just asked for them to run autoremove or autoclean, like in the "error message"). When the Prof and their "experienced TA" saw these messages, their recommendation was "make a new fresh vm".
The fuck? I heard that, run over and was like no. Just run the suggested command, it's literally a simple issue. And the guy didn't believe me. I had to sit him down, show him how I literally typed what the console was asking for, and everything just worked... The guy's response was "well that's Linux for you, its really complicated and can never trust anything, this time it worked, but next time it might not". Dude... Do you even know what you are saying? Like you are a supposed expert, least have some understanding of the package manager you are using. Maybe things will then be less "schrodinger cat".
God damn I can't wait to be out of this stupid fucking school. Never going back to academia.1 -
After learning a bit about alife I was able to write
another one. It took some false starts
to understand the problem, but afterward I was able to refactor the problem into a sort of alife that measured and carefully tweaked various variables in the simulator, as the algorithm
explored the paramater space. After a few hours of letting the thing run, it successfully returned a remainder of zero on 41.4% of semiprimes tested.
This is the bad boy right here:
tracks[14]
[15, 2731, 52, 144, 41.4]
As they say, "he ain't there yet, but he got the spirit."
A 'track' here is just a collection of critical values and a fitness score that was found given a few million runs. These variables are used as input to a factoring algorithm, attempting to factor
any number you give it. These parameters tune or configure the algorithm to try slightly different things. After some trial runs, the results are stored in the last entry in the list, and the whole process is repeated with slightly different numbers, ones that have been modified
and mutated so we can explore the space of possible parameters.
Naturally this is a bit of a hodgepodge, but the critical thing is that for each configuration of numbers representing a track (and its results), I chose the lowest fitness of three runs.
Meaning hypothetically theres room for improvement with a tweak of the core algorithm, or even modifications or mutations to the
track variables. I have no clue if this scales up to very large semiprime products, so that would be one of the next steps to test.
Fitness also doesn't account for return speed. Some of these may have a lower overall fitness, but might in fact have a lower basis
(the value of 'i' that needs to be found in order for the algorithm to return rem%a == 0) for correctly factoring a semiprime.
The key thing here is that because all the entries generated here are dependent on in an outer loop that specifies [i] must never be greater than a/4 (for whatever the lowest factor generated in this run is), we can potentially push down the value of i further with some modification.
The entire exercise took 2.1735 billion iterations (3-4 hours, wasn't paying attention) to find this particular configuration of variables for the current algorithm, but as before, I suspect I can probably push the fitness value (percentage of semiprimes covered) higher, either with a few
additional parameters, or a modification of the algorithm itself (with a necessary rerun to find another track of equivalent or greater fitness).
I'm starting to bump up to the limit of my resources, I keep hitting the ceiling in my RAD-style write->test->repeat development loop.
I'm primarily using the limited number of identities I know, my gut intuition, combine with looking at the numbers themselves, to deduce relationships as I improve these and other algorithms, instead of relying strictly on memorizing identities like most mathematicians do.
I'm thinking if I want to keep that rapid write->eval loop I'm gonna have to upgrade, or go to a server environment to keep things snappy.
I did find that "jiggling" the parameters after each trial helped to explore the parameter
space better, so I wrote some methods to do just that. But what I wouldn't mind doing
is taking this a bit of a step further, and writing some code to optimize the variables
of the jiggle method itself, by automating the observation of real-time track fitness,
and discarding those changes that lead to the system tending to find tracks with lower fitness.
I'd also like to break up the entire regime into a training vs test set, but for now
the results are pretty promising.
I knew if I kept researching I'd likely find extensions like this. Of course tested on
billions of semiprimes, instead of simply millions, or tested on very large semiprimes, the
effect might disappear, though the more i've tested, and the larger the numbers I've given it,
the more the effect has become prevalent.
Hitko suggested in the earlier thread, based on a simplification, that the original algorithm
was a tautology, but something told me for a change that I got one correct. Without that initial challenge I might have chalked this up to another false start instead of pushing through and making further breakthroughs.
I'd also like to thank all those who followed along, helped, or cheered on the madness:
In no particular order ,demolishun, scor, root, iiii, karlisk, netikras, fast-nop, hazarth, chonky-quiche, Midnight-shcode, nanobot, c0d4, jilano, kescherrant, electrineer, nomad,
vintprox, sariel, lensflare, jeeper.
The original write up for the ideas behind the concept can be found at:
https://devrant.com/rants/7650612/...
If I left your name out, you better speak up, theres only so many invitations to the orgy.
Firecode already says we're past max capacity!5 -
Not being able to look at people’s faces in person.
My autistic empathic mind-reading hyperperception works best when it has a lot of data, e.g. when visual contact isn’t obstructed by a video compression algorithm. Without that sense, my brain has to work extra hard to read minds. It becomes exhausting. When I don’t have this power for some reason, I feel very anxious. In absence of data, a naturally anxious and depressed brain assumes the worst.1 -
!dev
Through life, I've heard some people say horror movies are bad, that they promote violence (usually religious people).
Of course I think that's pure bs, but I think I could provide one argument that is hard to deny, so here it goes, although I might go off rails at the end.
I'll preface with this: life itself is violent. Violence, the word, is mostly used to describe immoral inflictions of harm on other beings.
But you can also say that some deaths are violent by themselves too, event those that weren't caused by humans, like a disease or a natural disaster.
This would be the "visual" meaning of the word, "the way it looks", the shock of humans when observing something gruesome/violent.
That described, it's not hard to also think that technological advancements in modern western life has made such observations of violence very unfrequent for people.
And naturally, modern people get accustomed to the lack of these observations. So accustomed that when they happen they become traumatic.
Because of this, people react weirdly to death. One reaction is censoring the topic. Another reaction is trivializing it, as if it doesn't really matter.
Sometimes they can't even accept old people dying at 90, an awfully stupid reaction in my opinion.
Another interesting reaction is personifying diseases as if they were villains ruining lives intentionally.
Or at least that's what it feels until you look at them through a microscope and realize that diseases aren't more evil than bread changing flavour after toasting.
All of these irrationality and cowardice comes from low exposure to violence, and that's where horror movies balance things out.
Some diseases in the real life can put some of the worst horror movies to shame.
The human body itself is pending violence. Why? Because when you die all sort of worms eat your fucking flesh. And sometimes that happens even before you die.
We bury humans because of the diseases corpses transmit, but also because we don't like the spectacle and the aesthetics of the rotting process.
Just picture for a second bad things happening to your body, and if you feel that is making you too uncomfortable, then maybe you got too used to this too.
I think horror movies help us to remember the reality of our inminent and intrinsic violence.
In ancient times, you would live outdoors, stepping on dirt, and be very used to "bad" things happening to humans.
Nowadays, most homes are sterile clean, and it's unlikely to observe violence.
Oh, some family member is pucking blood and dying from something? Send em to a hospital, or an elderly care center. Don't need to witness that!
I understand and accept grief. What I don't understand or accept is the vilification of death, describing it as something wrong that shouldn't happen.
it almost feels like a burden, like you shouldn't die when you're young, that it's an unforgivable thing to happen.
Well thanks, society, you can't even fucking die in peace.
I would love to die (no suicide) in a mildly celebratory way, watching people around me smile. I think that would be a good ending for me.
But no. Most of my relatives would be fucking crying like the chickenshits they are, ruining it for me.
And that scares the shit out me: people usually say the scary part of dying is that they die alone.
Well that's what dying alone would mean to me: watching people cry instead of smiling at me.
When my grandma died at 80, with all the achievements she made, I considered her death a success, also considering how quick it was. And because of that I didn't mourn for too long.
In fact, I don't even consider her dead, and not because of some religious mumbo jumbo. I guess the memories are still alive in me, I don't know.
Some famous chunk of coal said once that he felt people don't believe they're gonna die. And I agree with him.
Another upside of horror movies is that they hurt nobody, which is why you can enjoy it and not get ptsd, unlink watching a snuff film.
I will also be fair and add that this might a be a cultural thing, but deep down desire for survival is a genetic thing could play a big part in this too.4 -
I and my team mate are assigned a task and if we find 2 or more probable approaches to it we naturally ask our supervisor how would he like us to proceed, with which design and approach.
He downright answers, "I don't care how you do it, just do it and finish it by xyz date".
I mean WTF? What are you our supervisor for?!?! This is also a part of your job dude!!7 -
ok found the object orientated guide but for rust which is functional spaghetti: https://howtocodeit.com/articles/...
it has moved into architecture
... and actually makes a good case for interfaces / traits. generally in languages I just used generics to get around limitations of having to type a lot / duplicate code, and I'd remove interfaces because they're annoying to have to deal with, but I can see this be useful for once now.
like you can start a prototype app with files as a database then move to a small database type then later a more monolithic big data one and all that would be through one trait the whole time. so you could anticipate natural progressions of an app, instead of having to build the last version you can put jank behind interfaces and then switch things in and out to test new technologies which does actually give me a lot of relief for my newfound anxiety of me rewriting my rust codebases because I get some small things wrong. I've been coding in circles due to it and I have several saved files that are out of date now but I don't want to delete and they make the compiler mad cuz I had no interface boundaries as such and now stuff has changed somewhere else in the app and by God pls argh
this also means you can code "top-down". in carl Jung typology that's Te and most programmers are Ti-types so they do the little details and then sort of glue everything together (?) but not everybody thinks this way. I naturally think more top-down, which works for more dynamic languages and is annoying in static languages because then you're just fighting semantics and your earlier work the whole time (actually this is a surprisingly good write-up on the different thinking types: https://bothsidesofthetable.com/the...)
wheeeee -
Pretty boring story really. I was very young and don't remember any details, but one day my father let me use his pc. The only thing I really remember is playing some games and using Paint. (Feels a bit uneccessary to add, but I naturally clicked on everything and tried to understand how everything works.)1
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I got my very first PR to a repo of mine. Naturally, I got out of bed at 4am to test and publish it.3
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If I could just stop screening things up at work, that’d be greeeeeaaaaat.
Seriously, I’m in the worst brain fog of my life these past 6 months. I feel like I’m on the edge of dementia. The stuff that used to come naturally to me just feels foreign and incomprehensible. My judgment is so flawed right now.4 -
!rant
27 days ago I asked here for advice on how to mentor software engineer student that was terrible at coding.
So, we are in the middle of the mentoring, my approach is for her to get used to normal engineering tools, in this occasion she is learning Git and "kanban" (basically we are using Clubhouse for this one) and Github PR submission and approval (I'm the one who approves them, naturally) by doing.
With git, things are hard because we cannot share a terminal session (via upterm) due to her using Windows on her laptop (WSL is an option for using upterm but her internet is so damn slow doing the configuration takes way too long), otherwise teaching her use git would be smoother than it is currently, with the other tools she is gaining a good grasp of them, it pleases me that the bottleneck is with Git itself.
She is working on a hangman game with Python, nothing fancy just the terminal. I made the stories with the requirements in Clubhouse for her to work on each as a unit removing some "thought process" of reading requirements and implementing solutions (at Uni it seems the professor writes a document of several pages detailing the background of the project and the requirements, I can see how it can become confusing for some students like her).
She will start Uni again this August 10th, there is a chance that our first "session" at this will end by then, my fear is that she forgets how to use the tools she learned, so I need to find a way to encourage her to keep using them somehow.3 -
Oh god..
Starts using Laravel Framework
Code some lines
Everything works fine now
*Let see what happens if I delete this*
Error
Naturally
*Redo delete*
Run *OK, now it should work like before*
Error
Why??3 -
8 years old, first computer. 12 tears old first laptop. Around the time of bebo, I started messing with Photoshop making skins, then I made a website to put these skins on, after that I became involved with the SMF message board software, offering support, creating mods and themes. Eventually started working with individuals and businesses designing and building there websites, went to college got a taste of Java & vB, continued onto a degree and now I can program in Java, vB, C#, C, Javascript/Coffeescript, Node, PHP, Python and Bash with experience with too many libraries and frameworks to count, at 24 years of age going into the last year of my degree. I never really realised I wanted to become a dev. I just kind of naturally progressed into it.3
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I’ve been working at my company for about 3 years now and under 2 managers. In my time I’ve grown to be a technical anchor and SME in multiple facets of our architecture. First manager was cool and I could really see my development under him. Then he gets promoted and I get a new manager. New manager just rides me and bleeds me dry, all while telling me “you’re just a couple months away from Senior” for like 2 years. Every time I meet with him he still says I’m not ready even though I step up and do more and more and more. He’s never satisfied. Then we recently had a shift in the roles in the company where there’s a new intermediate role in between my role and Senior which I was gunning for. After a few more months he says to me “Congratulations, we finally opened up a position to promote you… to this other role that you didn’t want”.
Naturally, I’m pissed. So I start looking at open reqs for the Senior role I’m looking for. I applied for a job and interviewed for it. I “aced” the Senior interview. The new team wants to bring me on. They tell HR that they want to hire me. Now HR is pushing back saying “hey now, you can’t just SKIP roles like that” even though it was an open requisition that I applied to, not even an in-line promotion and also they just opened this intermediate position I’m skipping like 3 months ago and again I’ve been here for 3 years. So even after crushing the interview and the other team loving me I still won’t get the job because of stupid corporate bureaucratic bullshit.2 -
This is pre-dev but whatev. I got my cs degree from OSU. After I graduated I realized that I had to fill out a form (by hand) and a mail a 25$ check to them in order for them to send me my diploma. Naturally I never got around to ordering it. Then about 2 months post grad I get this package from OSU which I open up to find this freakin metal engraved business card holder and a letter congratulating me on my degree. A) business card holder??? B) why couldn't they just mail me my diploma instead -.-
I still haven't ordered my diploma yet2 -
Installed JDK 14 and now everything has scattered. Cannot build, run or compile because of a plethora of config that must be updated. Literally want to die. Naturally, i would update my java home path to my old version in my bash_profile right? well tough shit. that didn't work either. Really fucking frustrated rn. Its like Java and sbt on my machine are at war.9
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AltRant.
Naturally.
Footnote: I am really thankful for the positive reception of my project from the community. I thought I was all alone on this and that it was the only one in on this project, but everyone who installed their app was quite actively trying to help me and give me the feedback I was in desperate need for. I want to thank everyone.
Special thanks to @Lensflare for contributing on the SwiftRant library repo (https://github.com/OmerFlame/...)
(More QoL and bugfixes are coming soon!!)3 -
So I was looking into phone app development again (as you do) and I'm working on a simple QoL app for me and my SO that will help us automate some home management and finances stuff. Naturally I delved down the rabbit hole deep and wanted to have push notifications so we don't have to check the app periodically to know when certain things happen... Oh boy... Why is mobile development so convoluted, especially if you don't want to rely on Google Services...
It seems that the most accepted way of doing this is Firebase (FCM). Well me being me, I refuse to use google services for this and I prefer self hosted solutions (for data privacy reasons) which eliminates most products out there.
It also didn't help that my framework of choice is Flutter/Dart, because fuck Android Studio and the insane buggy XML stuff and fuck Android and it's constantly changing APIs...
Well In the end I decided on a rather simple solution and self hosted an AMQP service (RabbitMQ in my case, as I have some experience with it already) and implemented a foreground service in android platform specific code on top of my flutter project to kickstart it and made my phone a queue listener... This now means I can push notifications from my server to the Messaging Queue and it will be pushed into my App automatically!
One thing I found out on this journey was that Android now kills most background services and enforces foreground services to have a visible notification in the status drawer... which I actually approve of. It's a bit annoying that you can start a reliable background service, but I'm absolutely on-board with long running processes started by my apps are constantly visible...
Long story short, I love reinventing all the wheels, especially if it's for free and private... And I also went to sleep at 2AM again because this took longer that I'd like to tune... but it works, and it's google free...
I'm thinking of trying to package this up as a flutter module later, but first I want to do testing on battery life and the general life cycle of the service. RabbitMQ says they have the client library optimized for long-lasting connections and it should be just using a tcp socket, which should pretty much be what all the push notification services are doing anyway. I'm also not completely satisfied with how the permanent notification looks.. it isn't collapsible like some of the other ones from other apps and it's about 2 lines high instead of single line... which is something quite annoying and I'm struggling to find any relevant docs on how this is done other than possible making a custom Notification Style... but I just can't believe that everyone is doing that.. there must be a built-in somewhere -_-... Ugh Android is hell...
Anyway, if any android devs here have some hints, tips and tricks on how to handle this type of background/foreground process stuff and I'm doing something wrong let me know, cause googling this shit is a nightmare too!6 -
So here's what I'm putting up with for the last 6 months, clients..
A client proposed to me a project he had in mind. Project is pretty solid, could have a bright future. Since they didn't have the money to spend, we agreed on a % of the income they will earn from the project. So, let's say I get 20% of the income in exchange for building the application. I didn't receive any down payment or payment of any kind.
Just for info, project is a Web application/portal and it is ~80% done at the moment. Client provided a logo and a wireframe/ideas/pictures how he sees the project. I built everything, from DB to Frontend. Also, project is completely custom made, no CMS or anything. Project will make profit by subscription base, every user of the project pays.
For various reasons, we did not yet sign a contract. So, what is my issue...
Client sent me his proposal of the contract, said it's solid stuff, just sign it. In the contract, it stated that he owns the application in full, can sell it, etc. and I get % of the price. There were also other sneaky parts about me having all the responsibility but owning nothing. I naturally declined and took a lawyer to construct a normal contract.
My proposal was/is, I own the application(source code) in full. They are obligated to pay the monthly percentage and can use the application normally and make profit. At any time, application can be bought by the client if they pay for the development. So, basically, they are getting the application to use "for free" with no initial payment/investment. And this is a long term deal, they can use is as this as long as they want. Also, if they go bankrupt at any time, no penalty or payment is needed, the risk is mine.
The client refused and what he claims is the following...
His share in the project is 80%, mine is 20%. If project is to be sold, I get 20% of the price. So, meaning, if we go to production tomorrow, if I want to buy his share, I have to buy 80% of the application I built entirely. Also he is convinced that by "telling me" what to built he's owning everything. In his words, he dictated me the notes and I'm just playing the violin.
I am having trouble explaining to him that he is getting the application to use and make profit basically for free and cannot and does not own the source code unless he buys it off. We are going in circles, I send him the contract to review, he changes it and returns it back. Also, he removes the parts where it is clearly states what he provided and what was done by me.
So, we kind off agreed on the authorship but in the case we break the contract he wants to be able to use the application for 3 more years.
Was anyone here in a similar situation? How do you handle this kind of situations?3 -
Found a job I could have the perfect skills for at my uni's careers fair today. I thought I'd fuck it up but luckily they brought the dev to the stall and he was just as uncomfortable as I was so naturally I felt better.
-
!rant
Interview prep question. My understanding now is, at least in theory is: always use SOLID. I've never really understood it explicitly though I think I follow it a lot in practice, just naturally...
But when I usually program I'm kinda of in between... I don't automatically default to it.
Particularly, I don't always create interfaces, at least not in the first pass unless I know or expect many different implementations of a certain component... Or just because I need some class that does X but haven't quite thought of the implementation.
But I have never created an interface with like only 1 property or method... Kinda feel that's overkill...
I tend to follow DRY more I guess...
What's everyone thoughts on this stuff? -
So last semester for my English class, I had to learn a "new skill" and write an essay [the final] about it. So naturally instead of taking the time to learn something new, I just slapped together a c# (in which I'd say I'm already fluent) calculator app with winforms.
When it came time to present my "new" skill to the class, everybody was overimpressed. Then at the end of my little presentation, one guy goes "Oh! Is that all done in HTML?".
Without giving it a thought, I instinctively replied "No, it's a programming language". He just looked so confused after that. -
I've always thought about it, knowing to program is innate. I've seen a lot of people with motivation but struggling to understand the logic behid. On the other hand for the good programmers this understanding comes naturally, like as if their brains already worked that way.3
-
Got involved into a conversation/debate.
Said something as argument.
Opponent repeat with a 'yea' and plus what I just said as his argument naturally (amazing) and expect my response.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? -
That time you are programing some project and you just curried a function naturally and you ask to yourself: "Does it mean I know Functional Programming?"
And you put a spoke in your own wheel right away: "Don't be silly".
:P1 -
It just hit me. If you wanna achieve something great you have to dream big. If you aim for something humble, you'll just get lost in the endless land of diminishing returns where you take forever to make little progress
If you aim high, you are naturally inclined to do big strides since you feel that there is still so much left to be done
Just a thought I had working on my engine2 -
Had a definite week from hell... a bunch of prod issues that only I could fix (that's a whole other rant for another day!)... a piece of code totally kicking my ass for days... a hosting environment that was unstable seemingly every time I needed to do something in it (and that killer piece of code could ONLY be properly tested there, naturally!)... a service that my app depends on flaking out with no indication what the problem was and another team responsible for it that is based off-shore so aren't responsive when I need them to be... a metric shit-ton of procedural bullshit dropped on my head... an immense amount of stress due to the lead-up to a prod rollout next month that absolutely CANNOT fail without huge ramifications for the business but not enough help to ensure it gets done.
But, with all that said, I DID manage to get that killer piece of code working late on Friday after slamming my head against the wall for over a week on it (and ultimately re-writing it from the ground-up on Thursday and Friday)... so, the week of hell ended on a high note at least, which is always a Very Good Thing(tm)!2 -
Got reminded of this a bit ago.
When I was in high school years ago, there was some bug with youtube not working on chrome. The source of that bug was identified by a guy a grade above me, who not only reported that, but also how to fix it.
Naturally, google was like "holy shit, we gotta get this guy" and offered him a full ride scholarship and a guaranteed job when he got out.
He now works at a comic shop with no plans of using that scholarship.7 -
I had to do a project for my A-levels.
The task was to get a client and develop and application based on their requirements. Naturally I made my friends my clients so that I could make something I was interested in.
The teacher constantly changed my requirements during the start, because he liked everyones applications to be somewhat similar (Probably easier to mark), which demotivated me.
The timescale we were set around easter time was to have a demo by the end of summer which didn't need to work properly, and then a completed version after the Christmas holidays.
I wrote about 90% of the program over my 2 weeks off for Christmas, most of that while drunk, high, or both, and managed to complete it within them two weeks.
I went back to the code a couple months later, with no memory of writing it, to set up a demo to show my teacher and I was actually surprised at it. It was the first project of that type that I had worked on, and while there were a couple noticable bugs, it actually worked fairly well, and was really well documented. I was expecting a pile of buggy spaghetti.1 -
I am so fucking tired being the handy man that solves every problem that arises from a disgraceful project management.
I was minding my own business when a project was handed to me two weeks before the production rollout. In this project they needed a ton of integrations with the destination system and nothing was done.
So naturally I started to ask where were the integration specifications and what infrastructure was supporting the project so I could start development right away.
There were no DEV nor QA infrastructure, only production, and no one could give me a straight answer about what exactly they needed to do. That alone was a huge red flag but the kicker was that I could only start when the software provider development team finished the configurations of the system that they wanted to integrate with. After reviewing the due dates I only had 4 days to implement the integrations before the rollout.
During those 4 days I was constantly on the phone trying to get enough information to implement everything in time. After an immeasurable effort I managed to implement every critical component for the rollout.
So fucking tired of this shit.......1 -
I am in school. Talking to the dean of the program he mentioned that there is a programming class that is required. Naturally I inquire about the language in the class and he responds with Python. I am ecstatic. I love Python. I eat, sleep, and breathe Python. Class comes up, and time to buy books. I am now the owner of Windows Powershell Cookbook and Learn Powershell in a Month of Lunches. :-(2
-
After many years, I am trying to learn to react and react-native again.
I went to react native and click on get started. I downloaded CRNA and created Hello World. It asked me to download Expo client.
I was like WTF is this expo? So I installed it on my Note 8 and run the app. This is awesome. I don't have to build the whole app. It did not require Android SDK.
I open the expo website and found lots of SNACKS by other people. I can see the live output of many libraries and I loved the whole thing.
Finally, I installed the Expo client on my iPad. There was no scan barcode option. I thought it was weird. I saw login option. So naturally, I log in and wait for it to show in Expo client. Still nothing.
Finally, google about it and found out that due Apple, I can not see other people example on expo anymore.
Why the fuck Apple has to kill something this awesome. I can not express my anger on this. -
var longRant = true;
I am dextel2, if you know me, might as well know that I'm facing from quite issues, work issues personal issues and health issues
Recently broke up with my girlfriend, because I was or may be am too coward to carry on or maybe too scared from the future or our future. Initially, the break-up was mutual and understandable, this naturally affected my focus on work.
To overcome this and work issues it took me a week or so, meanwhile I mailed her few gifts for her birthday (2 weeks before her birthday), I didn't or nearly didn't wished and after wishing her she said something which affected me even worse, I don't know if we are even friends, this incident took place 3 days before, and its still fresh for me but somehow I'll overcome.
Maybe that's why I changed my username.
My parents, especially my mother knows there's something wrong with me and advised my to be happy (funny, right? because this was after I changed my username) .
I was not able to focus on work, the boss called in and gave me "improve yourself or if" pep talk, and while that duration (maybe before) I've been partially blind (thanks to my meds for epilepsy), I'll consult soon to my doctor when he is back from his vacation.
As of now, writing this rant I have no regrets so far, the only thing is that I want to be happy, maybe I am depressed, maybe this is due to her (can't really blame her).
Please help, how would you handle such stress and be happy?5 -
!rant !!Story
I installed Truecaller and it naturally scraped my contacts information. I realized that anyone now who had not saved my number can search who I am. I didn't want that to happen so I uninstalled Truecaller. But people still saw the name and profile I had created. So I reinstalled Truecaller changed my name and surname to 'Call me to know who I am' and uninstalled Truecaller again. Now it overrides the information so anyone searches for my number and hasn't saved it that's what he'll see.3 -
Two years ago we took over this project which has been a nightmare to maintain. It's a set of netcore 2.1 webapps running on an on-prem windows machine. Everyone who has worked on it so far has quit, leading to two episodes of it being passed on with near zero handover.
Its function is fairly simple, so naturally we have been nagging to redo it and cloudlift it.
I was finally given one week to see how far I'd get, and had a poc running in Azure after one day; 4 apps in clean net6, SSO, and managed identities. The only thing lacking was setting up the authentication for third parties.
And... they still don't want "something new" when the old one works. Back to IIS and debugging windows event logs.1 -
So at the HS I go to, there are 4~5 programmers (only 3 real "experienced" ones though including me).
So coming from JS & Python, I hate Java (especially for robotics) and prefer C++ (through some basic tutorials).
Programmer Nº2 is great at everything, loves Objective-C, Swift, Python, and to a certain extent Java.
Programmer Nº3 loves Python and used to do lots of C#, dislikes Java and appreciates Go (not much experience).
So naturally I get shit on (playfully) because of my JS background, because they don't understand many aspects of it. They hate the DOM manipulation (which is dislike too tbh), but especially OOP in JS, string/int manipulation, certain methods and HOISTING.
So, IDK if Java or C++ (super limited in them) have hoisting, but if you don't know what hoisting is, it means that you can define a variable, use it before assigning a value, and the code will still run. It also means that you can use a variable before defining it and assigning a value to it.
So in JS you can define a variable, assign no value to it, use it in a function for instance, and then assign a value after calling the function, like so:
var y;
function hi(x) {
console.log(y + " " + x);
y = "hi";
}
hi("bob");
output: undefined bob
And, as said before, you can use a variable before defining it - without causing any errors.
Since I can barely express myself, here is an example:
JS code:
function hi(x) {
console.log(y + " " + x);
var y = "hi";
}
hi("bob");
output: undefined bob
So my friends are like: WTF?? Doesn't that produce an Error of some sort?
- Well no kiddo, it might not make sense to you, and you can trash talk JS and its architecture all you want, but this somehow, sometimes IS useful.
No real point/punchline to this story, but it makes me laugh (internally), and since I really want to say it and my family is shit with computers, I posted it here.
I know many of you hate JS BTW, so I'm prepared to get trashed/downvoted back to the Earth's crust like a StackOverflow question.6 -
Oh that’s easy. I was doing this side project for a client and this coworker of mine wanted in. The whole time we were working he would just insult my code while writing almost no code. His boyfriend was supposed to help with the front end, but he didn’t know what he was doing, so I ended up doing his work for him too.
In the end the client screwed us and not paying us the majority of what we were still due. So naturally my shit head coworker demanded that he at least get his full share despite doing nothing but criticizing my code. When I wanted some of the money, he threatened to sue me. What a dick. -
Imagine enabling verbose logging for a complex ETL process that typically takes 8 hours to run but has been failing for some reason after running for about 7 hours. Naturally, you want to check the log file to find out what went wrong.
Now imagine not having read access to the log file. -
Is there such a thing as natural talent for specific categories of developers?
I've seen this occur a few times. I have more affinity for front-end development or separately, for UX, so I naturally see wireframes, I naturally know what looks good or not to a user, and I can relate to a user.
I've seen multiple backend devs who share the same complaint that they don't have a knack for front-end and that they hate front-end. They can create beautiful architectures and solve complex problems, but they tell me: "Don't ask me to tell you what looks like a good layout or not because I have no idea".
The same thing happens to me when it comes to back-end (even though I'm a Fullstack developer): Don't try to give me extremely complex problems because I will likely get very stuck, but ask me if a design would look good, ask me to design a website UX wise and I will do well without a great deal of effort.
I wonder why I have a hard time with back-end and others vice versa. Maybe we're trained more in certain areas or our brains function differently.
And so.. I wonder if more people see this happen in their workplace and if this observation holds true.3 -
Anyone tried converting speech waveforms to some type of image and then using those as training data for a stable diffusion model?
Hypothetically it should generate "ultrarealistic" waveforms for phonemes, for any given style of voice. The training labels are naturally the words or phonemes themselves, in text format (well, embedding vectors fwiw)
After that it's a matter of testing text-to-image, which should generate the relevant phonemes as images of waveforms (or your given visual representation, however you choose to pack it)
I would have tried this myself but I only have 3gb vram.
Even rudimentary voice generation that produces recognizable words from text input, would be interesting to see implemented and maybe a first for SD.
In other news:
Implementing SQL for an identity explorer. Basically the system generates sets of values for given known identities, and stores the formulas as strings, along with the values.
For any given value test set we can then cross reference to look up equivalent identities. And then we can test if these same identities hold for other test sets of actual variable values. If not, the identity string cam be removed, or gophered elsewhere in the database for further exploration and experimentation.
I'm hoping by doing this, I can somewhat automate the process of finding identities, instead of relying on logs and using the OS built-in text search for test value (which I can then look up in the files that show up, and cross reference the logged equations that produced those values), which I use to find new identities.
I was even considering processing the logs of equations and identities as some form of training data perhaps for a ML system that generates plausible new identities but that's a little outside my reach I think.
Finally, now that I know the new modular function converts semiprimes into numbers with larger factor trees, I'm thinking of writing a visual browser that maps the connections from factor tree to factor tree, making them expandable and collapsible, andallowong adjusting the formula and regenerating trees on the fly.7 -
As we’re moving into summer, I can’t help but fall into that “shit I hate this” mentality again. I’m a naturally sweaty person, but even on the edges of summer I feel like my skin has a layer of moist just… sitting there. My sleep is shit, I’m irritated and I never know what to wear to feel comfortable. Just a full season of discomfort. Wish I could just WFH to create a somewhat comfortable environment in summer.15
-
Well my PO introduced the concept of owning stories (which we naturally used to do) in our pairing environment. After we gave names, we started seeing each other like seven different kingdoms. Suddenly my PO looks like Cersei. And I am looking like Theon Greyjoy, hardly worried about other stories and stuck with no pair to complete my stories. That's how pair programming died a casual death.
P.S : Tomorrow is my (our) demo !! 😭😭4 -
Odd question to a dev community who are naturally socially awkward that talks to their ducks.
Even then, for those of us who do have a social life, we just chill when we need to. Anyone who "tries" to balance their life would find it very stressful. Just go with it. Do what you need to do at that scheduled time and when time is up, do the other thing that you promised yourself.
Others: "Easier said than done! You don't have to push releases and squash bugs in critical moments!"
Then that's a trigger to the question, "Do you even live, bro? There's more to life than just dev all day err'day."
Don't think too much. -
#!/bin/bash
# An ideal work day
# Wake up naturally, keep sleeping until I won't wake up as a zombie
TIMETOWAKEUP=$(while ps -eo state,pid,cmd | grep "^Z"; do sleep 1; done)
# Work, between 9AM - 5PM, weekdays only!
TIMETOWORK=$(while [ $(date +%H) -gt 09 -a $(date +%H) -lt 17 -a $(date +%u) -le 5 ];
# Do cool work and get paid, every second.
do $COOLWORK && $GETPAID; sleep 1; done)
# Home
TIMETOCHILL=$(while $ATHOME;
# Do cool work, without getting paid, and spend money made from $TIMEATWORK
do $COOLWORK && $SPENDSPENDSPEND; sleep 28800; done)
$TIMETOWAKEUP; $TIMETOWORK; $TIMETOCHILL
# I don't get out much -
My company was about to spend $15,000 per month to have a mobile presence engineered and maintained from a third party. The contract was for three years, so naturally, we wanted an exit clause. When they refused, we dropped the pen and decided to roll our own mobile. Those folks are morons...I don't make $15K for month...hell, I'll do it and give you an exit clause! It's amazing how much money corporations have to throw around.
-
Today I got a change request that told me I needed to create a report showing orders broken down by their order types as percentages.
Now the order types part involve SQL queries that translate business rules into multiple table joins and it's quite nasty (200 + lines or so).
Naturally the change request doesn't mention any of these business rules and how to tell that orders are of a specific type... but alas!
It teaches me how to calculate a percentage :)
... like "10 / 100 * 100 = 10%"
I don't know whether to laugh or feel insulted.2 -
- I love blowing my mind. Even if it is the most confusing thing. Things like security mechanisms, neurons' behaviors, mathematics (even tho I hate it when I fail lol), electronics, medical terminology and chemistry.
- I love collecting rare coins, personally never-seen stones and put them into my collection. I love to be a designer. Not only on my laptop. I have a book shelf and within that book shelf I put stones that create the yin yang sign while pushing the books to two sides. That makes them look like they are levitating. I have stones (including obsidian) that create a triangle and a knife hanging down the wall of my room.
- I love visiting touristic, historic, naturally-beautiful but also non-touristic (non-touristic? yes. by that I mean visiting e.g. the areas of touristic cities which are dangerous, because you can easily fall down off of a slippery ground and take serious injuries) places around the globe, talk to complete strangers in public (I am trying to be an extrovert), take pictures with my camera and collecting antiquities.
- I love taking risks (no. I don't play any poker games etc on the internet) without trying to put other people in risk. Driving insanely with whatever I have. Car, bike, you name it.
- I love reading books. Books that are about human psychology, fantasy novels and books about programming languages.
- I love to cook (I am at the beginning).
- I love to use the konMari method of tidying up my room.
- I love plants.
- I love having everything in my room tidied up (even if I am too busy with other stuff and skip this cleaning process for a week upto a month sometimes. Sorry, room.).
- I love doing sports. But mostly sport that I have never tried before. This can be, because of my greedy wish for an adrenaline kick. That led me into taking a balloon flight at 4 am (sunrise) and to paragliding at sunset above Mediterranean sea btw. (I am normally afraid of flying, but paragliding was awesome).
- I love swimming. Like, you cannot pull me out of the sea for a minimum of 2 hours, if it is not important.
- I love laying above the sea water and let the sea carry me to somewhere else.
- I love being alone. I love the silence. I love to be free in my thoughts.
- I love watching the sunset, the light that shines through the forest, the moonlight and the stars at night.
- I love dreaming. No, like, lucid dreaming for example.
- I love being open to any opinions.
- I love to learn about other people's views about the world and their religion.
- I love pets and would do anything to keep them alive when they are ill. It hurts my heart seeing them like this.
- I love watching demonic "A: Holy shit! Did you see this thing, too?! B: Yes!" YouTube videos just for the fun of it, but I hate horror movies and games.
- I love trying out new things. The creation of music and video for example.
- I love to give my hair and beard a shape, if I am too lazy to go to the barbershop lol. By that I don't mean just going to the barbershop, but taking an electric razor and cutting my hair myself even if I get bad results from time to time that can be corrected by letting any family member tell me in which area of of my head the hair problem is.
- I don't like disco clubs.
- I don't like toxic people even though I can be a quite toxic person myself without realizing it. If I appear toxic to you, inform me about it. Having so much testosterone in that moment, can make me do things that I don't want to do.
- I don't like drugs even tho I have to admit that I am trying a few from time to time (maybe 6 months in-between) to have a dopamine kick. I am not an addict.
- I hate myself for things that I did in the past.
- I used to watch MMA videos etc.
- I used to use a telescope, but I can't find it anymore.
- I used to have a microscope, but I can't find it anywhere and besides of that the seller did literally piss in it before selling it to me many years ago. Don't want to touch it tbh.
- I used to play games, but I don't enjoy games anymore. That makes me feel sad.
- I miss the old moments of my life.
In conclusion:
I like how things went and go so far. It changed me so much. It made me a good and a bad person. I became more open and confident, but it also particularly made me a leader who can say "fuck off" in a bad way to his family. I would like to undo this particular part of me.5 -
Me and my friends decided to start a film company, much like roosterteeth. Throughout high school we had a talented group, actors, musicians, writers etc and those of us behind the scenes editing and shooting footage, graphic design and web development. My best friends passion is film, he's a good director and editor and wanted to start this company and was blessed enough to have a group of friends with all of these talents.
Naturally I was the teams web developer/designer.
Well this morning he texts me saying he's sending an old friend of ours my way to help on the website. My first thought is "why?". I code alone, I've never made a website as a team, that just seems like a mess.
Well the friend of ours texts me shortly after saying he was LEARNING to code and wanted to know if he could be in the dev team. I am the dev team. It's not a group to be joined. I don't want my first team experience to be one where I'll have to be teaching along the way, bc I may as well do it alone at that point. I haven't responded to either person yet as I was waiting to share with devRant 😂3 -
There's been a fad in the company where the managers ask for the opinions of other departments to "get different perspectives".
On one hand, we get feedback by non-experts, which is obviously bad because they're not in their field. "Feature X is kinda complicated. We could simplify it by doing A." and the manager goes "that's a brilliant idea! Let's do that!" and the devs go "we did consider that, but it has drawback N. And perhaps you wanna do B, but that has drawback M..."
And then they were asking for us programmers for inputs on their designs for logos, etc. Naturally, as programmers, we wanted quick access to many functionalities. But marketing wants a simpler and more intuitive design, even if it involves more clicks. This wasn't in my job description! I just wanna code! Thinking is your job! -
Its everyones favorite time again. Wisecrack's 8th grade hoborants about mathematics.
Lets start with the example
a=89
b=223
p=a*b=19847
If
(1/(5/p))/b = 17.8
and naturally
p/5 =3969.4
3969.4/b = 17.8
What I find interesting is that...
p/17.8 = 1115.0
..for any product and factors (given two factors), the result will always be an integer.
Why is this?
You can see that
t= 1115.0*b = 248645.0
And if
17.8*(p/a) = 3969.4
Then
17.8*(t/p) = 223.0 (our factor, b)
a*(t/p)
1115.0
p/1115
17.8
also a*(t/p) = 1115.0
I could be once again misunderstanding but
what it looks like is that theres some real number that always transforms p into an integer on the ring of integers (Z) representing multiples of the factors of p.
Now notice
b/17.8 = 12.52808988764045
We can also get that number like so..
t/p = 12.52808988764045
I think (though I could be mistaken) is that the reason is because t is b*1115 and 12.52808988764045 is the ratio between b and 17.8 as well as the ratio between
p and 1115.
And if we do
t/√p = 1764.9495488858483
1764.9495488858483^2 = 3115046.9101123596
also incidentally
3115046.9101123596/t =12.52808988764045
3115046.9101123596/12.52808988764045 =
t (this is obvious but I want to point it out anyway), or 248645.0
and
1115/b = 5.0
248645.0/5 = 49729.0
and
√49729.0 = b
Why is this last part true, that √(t/5) = b?11 -
My journey along Java continues and so I have discovered something I didn't know before:
If a subclass tries to call a method on its parent which it has not overridden, then it will call the method as if you hadn't used the keyword 'super' (and I think it will try to find it in the classpath and SDK).
Example 1:
public class SuperParent {
public String test(){
return "SuperParent";
}
}
public class Parent extends SuperParent {
}
public class Child extends Parent {
public String testChild(){
return super.test(); // same effect as test();
}
}
public class TestInheritance {
public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println(new Child().test()); // returns "SuperParent"
}
}
Example 2: with getClass():
public class Parent {
@Override
public String toString(){
return super.getClass().getSimpleName();
}
}
public class Child extends Parent {
}
public class TestInheritance {
public static void main(String[] args) {
System.out.println(new Child()); // prints "Child"
}
}
This here is of course a special case: .getClass() will always return the class name of its caller, so naturally in this case it returns Child and not Parent.
You would expect it to return "Parent" since you use 'super' in the overridden toString() but it returns the Class name of the Child (then there's something in programming languages such lexical scope and execution scope, which I'm not sure if it applies here).
The solution for this example is of course .getSuperClass().
Inheritance isn't always straight-forward.
References:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...2 -
I am not a very experienced developer, so naturally I don't know many fundamental things. My thinking around a lot of the necessary things is that the answer should come to me according to the need. So an oversimplified example could be, say I'm solving a Dynamic programming problem, I should not need to know the algorithm beforehand I can maybe invent it. This thinking stops me learning a lot things because I feel like then when I learn a pattern I will restrict my thought process within the knowledge I have and not think beyond it. I feel like that I am doing the dumb mistake of learning things bt heart and not understanding.
Does anyone felt the same? What your experience says about this?12 -
Im travelling with a show. And we just arrived. Since we are in a foreign land, I do not wish to use my data bundle.
So we see a wifi name that is pretty much our show name. So we naturally assume that it is for us but we havent gotten the wifi password yet.
So i tried 3 passwords and then guessed correctly. The date of our performance.... -
I wanted to build a platform for student who wants to do research and are having hard time finding a good professor within university or from outside, so naturally I started asking professor I knew and this is what I get:
Normally they will only hire students from within university unless student himself has funding, and even with that hiring students from outside is a lot of procedures.
And no, such platform probably won’t be that useful as they get a lot of emails asking about research.
Startup idea instantly killed.7 -
I've done a social anxiety test to find not-so-surprising results. I shared that to a group of programmers then hm, that's a lot of anxious people. Are we socially anxious naturally or what? are you guys socially anxious even?
8 -
Any advice for debugging a 520 error from Cloudflare?
I know this isn’t SO but Ive been having the toughest time finding a decent way to find the cause of a 520 error from Cloudflare.
I have a droplet of Digital Ocean running Apache 2.4X and randomly throughout the day I will get 520 errors in the browser’s Networking log.
Naturally, there’s nothing even noted in the Apache error log or access log. And Cloudflare has no logs on this in the console.
If I retry the request it will go through with no problem.
Anyone experienced something like this?5 -
If we can transform the search space or properties of a product into a graph problem
we could possibly use Kirchhoff's theorem to reveal products which are 'low complexity'
in particular search spaces, yeah?
Now according to
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
"n Cycle Space, A family of sets closed under the symmetric difference operation can be described algebraically as a vector space over the two-element finite field Z 2 {\displaystyle \mathbb {Z} _{2}} \mathbb{Z } _{2}.[4] This field has two elements, 0 and 1, and its addition and multiplication operations can be described as the familiar addition and multiplication of integers, taken modulo 2"
Wouldn't this relate to pollards algorithm, because it involves looking for factors of coprimes modulo N or am I mistaken?
Now, according to wikipedia, "in a group, the additive identity is the identity element of the group, is often denoted 0, and is unique."
If we make the multiplicative identity of our ring or field a tuple of the ratio of a/b for some product p, or a (and a/w, where w is the square root of p), or any other set such that n*m allows us to derive a or b, we could reduce the additive identity to the multiplicative identity, making the ring trivial. Solving for p would then mean finding a function from R to R, mapping every number to 0, i.e. finding the additive identity.
Now in a system with a multiplication operation the distributes over addition, the "additive
identity annihilates ring elements", so naturally, the function that maps to 0, gives us
our additive identity, we need only find the subset, no?
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't this be convertible to a graph search?
I'm WAY out of my depth here so if anyone is familiar and can enlighten me I'd be grateful.
It's all unknown unknowns to me. -
Are WITCH contractors with several YOE just naturally incompetent, or do they feign incompetence for more billable hours?4
-
You should naturally expect to have no social life when you are a developer. But I managed to get a job with 9 to 6 timings with no annoying managers who call you after working hours. So I have the evening to myself.
-
Top 5 Reasons for Not Discussing Weird Topics in Your Graduate Admission Essay
Knowing the top five reasons for not discussing weird topics in your graduate admission essay is very important. There is really no strict requirement about what kind of topic you use, as long as you can discuss it effectively. However, choosing weird topics may not really work for you, especially if it’s a very controversial or sensitive one. The following are the top five reasons why you should avoid discussing weird topics in your essay.
Reason #1: Weird topics are weird.
First off, weird topics are exactly that, weird. The last thing you want to do is weird out your graduate school admission panel, which is almost a sure way of getting yourself that polite rejection letter that every applicant dreads of receiving.
One of the main important points to remember is to think of your audience when writing your graduate admission essay. This audience will be composed of tenured professors, and probably younger teachers closer to your own age. Although it is a good idea not to tailor your essay according to what you think they want to hear, it’s best to stick to a topic that will make the panel want to get to know you more. You can do this by putting yourself in the admission officer’s shoes and trying to feel what your reaction would be with a particular topic you have in mind. Being creative is good, but to any audience, weird is weird, and most audiences will not know how to react to a weird admission essay.
Reason #2: Weird topics may reflect your personality in a bad way.
Weird topics make you look weird, or worse. You may think that a weird topic is the same as a creative topic, something that most experts on admissions officers urge applicants to use. With a weird topic, you can easily make the jump from being creative to just plain strange or worse, someone with an emotional or personality problem. Weird topics, when discussed ineffectively, are bad topics, and can be anything from the death of a pet, recent religious epiphanies, and even parent bashing. These topics are the last topics that can paint you in a good light so avoid these and other similar topics.
Reason #3: Weird topics may not represent the real you.
Weird topics will not paint the real you, unless you are naturally weird. If you really think that being a little bit off will pay off, then by all means do so. But if you want to appear as normal and as emotionally healthy as possible, save the strange stories for Halloween night.
Reason #4: Weird topics may seem too informal.
Weird topics can get too informal. You can be informal but you need to look normal as well in order to avoid appearing irreverent. Some may disagree with this, but often the only way to get on your admission panel’s good side is to tread on the middle ground arefully, and not be too stiff and prudish but not be too loose either.
Reason #5: Weird topics may confuse the readers.
While most schools allow their applicants free reign when it comes to writing an admissions essay, you can do your self a lot of good by treading on the middle ground. Avoid weird or strange topics if you can. A weird topic will put your readers in a place where they may not understand you. And in a process where getting to know you as a person is the main objective, this move will definitely have an effect on whether you get accepted or not. Knowing what to write in a graduate school admission essay is fairly easy, especially if the school provides you with a set of questions, known as prompts as your guide. As long as you already have the other requirements such as the right grade point average, recommendation letters, program of study and the like, you can start working on your essay. But if your still not sure whether it good idea to write essay by yourself. You can find tons of great quality writing services such as https://uk-essays.com/research-pape.... At such a websites you’ll easily find help from from people who already have considerable experience in writing a wide variety of essays. They will gladly help in any issue that makes you difficult.
-
I looked at my S7 edge and thought to myself... When am I fixing this goddamn screen?
It has been a few months now
And I'm not going to a shop if I can do it myself a lot cheaper.
I'm actually looking into how to repair it and what stuff I need, so far I know about b7000 glue to keep I water resistant after the repair, of course some prying tools, maybe a hair dryer, and of course the screen itself, anything missing or am I good to go?
Naturally, im gonna post rant if my repair fails... -
So I wanted to learn rust, and I was thinking: practice is the best way so naturally I went on to leetcode
After spending 4 hours to solve two questions I was like: fuck it, why do I need to go back and forth to the discussion page, why not just show it to me.
So now I spent 4 days to develop a chrome extension that shows the top 10 solutions in the discussion page for a specific question with specific language.
I showed to friend and she was like: you look at the discussion?
The moment I realized that I developed a hot pile of garbage3 -
!rant
So, why is everybody's answer for a windows based git server bit bucket, but Linux does it naturally? -
My first experience…
My father bought a Commodore 64 but couldn’t figure out how to use it. A few days later I was playing games and making art. He yelled at me saying none of it was in the manual. He was mad I understood how to use it. It all came naturally to me, and I early
on realized I had a gift. -
Most developers are morons.
Because the field of software development has a relatively low barrier of entry, we naturally have a large and steady supply of under-trained and clueless keyboard monkeys, hereby referred to as zombies.
The reason the industry is set up this way is because companies need a steady supply of new talent. Big Tech is so greedy, they snatch most good talent and bench them, leaving the scraps for everyone else. Other companies lower their standards and hire anybody that can copy and paste. Most entry-level software work at smaller companies is usually low risk and high churn and that's where the low barrier of entry comes in.
I have nothing against zombie developers, so long as they know their place.
I've seen too many zombies think they're CTO material after 2 years of fixing javascript bugs, or think that if they watch just enough egghead.io videos, they'll be promoted to senior.
Typically a zombie developer will go down one of two paths: 1) they either burn out and realize that software isn't what they're meant for (most common scenario) or 2) they actually get good and decide to stick around.
The ones who stick around though usually do so because it hits a sweet spot for them. To them, software is:
- Interesting enough to do it for a full-time job
- Good enough at it to secure a steady job at a two-bit company
- Pays enough to pay the bills
These people don't have a deep passion for software. It's basically just a full-time hobby for them.
And I have nothing against that. The market is satisfied, they're satisfied and I'm satisfied so long as they don't start thinking that they and I are on the same level.
Know your place, zombie devs.
2 -
I hate it when I'm knee deep in projects that need to be done before the new CI strategy starts two avoid a three week long full test every two weeks and then my dear boss comes up with having me do the planning for the next testphase while my coworker is scrolling through 9gag. I mean, sorry old man but either I automate this monstrosity of thirty million layers of 'naturally grown', ill documented, identifier lackimg piece of shit or I can do the fucking schedule. My mother isn't an octopus, i've got only two arms...
Tl;dr: Why do non programmers always heavily underestimate the time shit needs to get done? -
One of our previous clients is not paying the rest of the payments after receiving the codes. What are the things we can/should do digitally to make them pay the payment?
btw, it was a web app. we worked on the front end and the backend of the app. So, naturally we know all the API endpoints, we have the database access, and so on. So yeah, we can do so many things.
But still I wanna ask you guys, what would you do to make someone pay?3
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