First world problems...

I've been working at this startup as a tech lead for a little over a year, and we've grown from 3 to over 150 employees, and a bit over a million end users.

I've spent tens of thousands on high end displays and chairs for your lazy butts, on external consultants to help and train you, even those fucking dirty recruiters have leeched their shares of the pie. I built an amazing luxury kitchen with a fridge, beer cooler, induction plates and a blender for all your crossfitting bodybuilder meals, but forgot to think of my own needs.

NOW I JUST WANT TO BUY A GOOD COFFEEMAKER AND ALL THESE FUCKING TEASLURPING FAKE DEV-BROS SUDDENLY START SCREAMING ABOUT BUDGETS AND HOW COFFEE IS NOT NECESSARY IF YOU MEDITATE. FUCK YOU, WE'RE LIKE THE ONLY STARTUP IN THE COUNTRY RUNNING A FAT PROFIT. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID MINDFULNESS IOS APP. GIVE ME MY FUCKING ESPRESSO OR I'LL BLEND YOUR BALLS INTO A PROTEIN SHAKE.

I have an array of 1037 records. The soap service only accepts 100 at a time. So, I write code to send an array of 100 records at a time to the soap service in a loop and get a response back of, "The maximum number (100) of records allowed for this operation has been exceeded." Well, I'll try 99 records then. Nope same error. I'll try 50 records, nope I'll just bang my head on the desk now since the documentation and error say it is a record limit of 100. 😠

Look at my code again. I was grabbing 100 records out of the array of 1037 records and storing it in a new array, but I was sending the original array with 1037 records instead of the temporary array in the loop. 😢 I'm going to bed.

Need these for work.

Mom: "I need simple computer to browse the web with chrome"
Me :

Me: Coffee has more coffee than energy drinks.

Coworker: You're right, coffee does have more coffee than energy drinks.

Me: I meant caffeine!

Got married yesterday and am now on a call for the same problem that occurred over Christmas...

I need a new job...

I NEED A FUCKING STRESS BALL

Apparently after 14 hours of coding, my sleepy version is happy with

!>= instead of <=

I was SO EXCITED with my 10th ++, 'cause avatar. But... no heels :'(

Need experience for job
Need job for experience
:(

There is only one reason to pause coding: a girlfriend. But since I don't have one I need more Coffee I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

private float truth = 1f;

FUCK... THIS WAS JUST THE WORST WEEK I'VE EVER HAD IN MY JOB. LITERALLY WANNA JUST THROW MY DESK TO MY BOSS AND THEN CLEAN HIS BLOOD WITH HIS LAPTOP COMPONENTS AND THEN SELL THEIR ORGANS TO THE BLACK MARKET, USE THAT MONEY TO BUY A MACHINE GUN AND USE IT AGAINST THAH GODAMN CLIENT...

client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.

me: ok, how is it wrong?

client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.

me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.

client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.

me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?

clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.

repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.

client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?

me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.

🤠:Hello, I need a website for my professional website. But anything more than $500 is unrealistic.

Translation

🤡:I am a stupid assclown that the future will leave behind and time will forget.

Looked at my finger nail after coding all day and thought "This nail needs some border-top-left-radius and border-top-right-radius tuning..."

Enough CSS for today.

Done is better than perfect!

What I did wrong during my home office cleaning session this morning:
- put soap on my mouse mat
- snapped my enter key
- vacuumed up my F8 key
- absent-mindedly cut my ethernet cable
- lost my zero key
- dropped my backup hard drive (data was recoverable, but I need a new drive)
- lost one of the nose pads on my glasses
- got a cocktail stick stuck in a USB port
- exploded my mouse by using the wrong type of battery

Things I did good:
- nothing

Co-worker: I need a proxy to do this task.

Me: Why do you need a proxy?

Co-worker: So all these reviews for the company I'm posting don't look sketchy.

Me: Download the TOR browser.

Co-worker: That's kinda sketchy I don't wanna do that.

So falsifying information about the company is okay, but using a browser to do it anonymously is right out.

I still can’t code even with all these books right in front of me.

COMPANIES DON'T NEED FUCKING BLOCKCHAIN YOU CAN JUST MANAGE IT YOURSELF. THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF BLOCKCHAIN IS SO NO ONE HAS CONTROL AND IF YOU MAKE A BLOCK CHAIN THAT YOU CONTROL THEN WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT.

You know you've been on devRant too long when you try to double tap a reddit post to upvote

I need sleep. Somehow I managed to create a file named ":w" and a git branch named "_D".

Writing "git branch -D _D" was the weirdest thing ever.

All of the things broke today. I'm currently numb as I'm experiencing every emotion possible. I need alcohol and a beach. And no human interaction.

Purchase $900 laptop, it's not powerful enough so I return it and get $1,100 laptop, still not powerful enough, return it and get $1,600 laptop. Realize I have a gaming PC and don't need the laptop this powerful and I return it and repurchase the first laptop I bought with a $100 discount because it's now an opened-box, but I know for a fact that it was the one that I got in the first place and opened.

Thanks Best Buy.

My psychiatrist has recently taken me off paroxotine which i was taking for anxiety. As a result, I'm wide awake unable to sleep cos my head is running at a million miles an hour. You know what I keep thinking?

1.) Sweet hairy balls of Mary Theresa I'm getting married in 3 months.

2.) Installing Arch sounds like fun. I wonder if I can do Unity3D and C# dev on it.

3.) @Gitpush, @Alice, @Linuxxx, @Bluenutterfly, @ThatDude, @AlexDeLarge Love your rants, keep up the good work!

why the fuq does my office have no instant noodle or snacks 😫

are we all trees or what

Me: Dear Boss, what should I do first? Thanks 😇
1. Rush
2. ASAP
3. Urgent
4. Important
5. Priority
6. I Need That Now

Waiting for interview now, wish me luck!

Why does the idea of having to develop social skills somehow seem to scare the fuck out of a large portion of you?

Is being a likeable human being such a weird concept? What do you expect? To people just validate your entire existence based on how good you can sit in front of a set of monitors and push code out? Thousands of monkeys can do that shit. Thousands of systems will eventually do such things.

for whatever reason the "I am a fucking asshole that can code" trope seems to be a "real thing" amongst developers. A mfker can know waaaaaaay less than you, have the same credentials (degrees etc) and will get the job because you were too busy building an online persona governing how better you are than everyone else. How "quirky" and Sheldon Cooper like you are. You think that makes you likeable? "i don't need to be likeable" <---- yes the fuck you are, because this shit is something in which people can be trained upon.

A team, regardless of how much you agree with this, can choose a person solely based on how well he/she/whatever clicks with them. You might be the end all be all of development, but if they don't like you or feel you will not be someone worthwile to be around, will not chose you. They will go with the charismatic newbie that can learn the same shit you so dear hold on to, because they are likeable.

Sticking to a merit based "I am the best there is" asshole mentality is a thing of the fucking past, boomer mentality. For which newer generations are parting ways with, with still profitable results. workable results. Production ready results.

Yet you chose to stick to a "I might be a quirky annoying fuck, but I am the best" mentality?

This is why you were bullied. This is why you can't get any dick, this is why you can't get any pussy, this is why you sit your ass in your little dark room trying to convince yourself that being lonely is a choice, not a situation in which you put your ass in. This is why I also dislike developers online.

Most of you might be the nicest mfkers on the planet when dealing with on a face to face basis, but if you put this shit on a screen for the world to see you will be viewed upon as some dickhead.

Fuck this "code is my life" mentality, shit is but a paycheck, a craft is not a glimpse into what you are as a person, but a way in which you make a paycheck. Molding your personality, based on what you do for a living, really?

Damn man, shit is just so fucking sad. So cringeworthy even.

Me: I can fix that workflow in about five minutes, In fact I can do it right now as we are speaking on the phone.

Customer: okay well... let me contact the director and make sure it’s okay that you fix it.

Me: I won’t make any changes to how it functions I’m only going to make it work again as it used to

Customer: we might need to schedule a meeting to talk about this because I’m not sure that we should be changing the site without permission

Me on the inside: I literally have global admin rights, unlimited power in Sharepoint, am responsible for making sure this stuff works, and BUILT this fucking thing, so now that I’ve been alerted of an issue I’m going to fix it. You are welcome to blame me if your boss is upset about it but I’m not going to wait for a fucking meeting to make sure it’s okay that I update a god damn email address in a workflow.

Me IRL: okay sounds great let me know when it is :)

I'm so tired that my debugging rubber duckie is now talking back at me.

I need to take a break..
I've been wotking on my game non-stop for the past 8 days from 7-10am to 11pm-2am..

But there are alot of problems in my current repo, and i have ALOT of code to re-rwite..

(also i'm the only dev x.x)

My 17" companion just arrived 😎 Looking forward to boost up the enthusiasm!

Aaaand put Linux in there.

++ adds 1
-- subtracts 1
** Multiplies by 1?

<video id="#player">
....

It took me way to long to realize why the queryselector failed

My brain is melting.

6 hours straight of just Refactoring without a break.

Technical debt is real, it is a bitch, and so are clients to expect to 'see' changes every week.

Boss tells me we need to balance doing work on things the client can play with and the backend code that does it all... 😧ok....

'TODO: remove sample return and connect to backen' As far as the eye can see.

Been off work for the last 2 weeks, got a text yesterday and apparently everything was manic. Kind of nice to know everything falls apart when I'm not there ;)

Spent an hour figuring out an ERR_NAME_NOT_RESOLVED on a fetch Post call.

Turns out I was calling locahost instead of localhost.........

Only figured it out because I zoomed in on the console output by accident.

fml

Friday: Finally the week end. I haven't seen my family all week.

Sunday: Hurry up Monday! Get me away from these people. I need to program.

I NEED COFFEEEEEEEE!!!
I NEED COFFEEEEEEEE!!!
I NEED COFFEEEEEEEE!!!

TM: Hey, do you have a moment?

Me: not really, I'm already overtime and have enough work for the whole year.

TM: Yeah, we know. Just a quick meeting to discuss something awkward.

Me: Hmkay.

...

Later that day:

TM: Yeah. To make it quick - we're confused and bit dissatisfied with how project X turned out. The staging server is blazing fast, but the devs machines seem to be extremely slow... Some devs complained.

Me: No wonder. I said from the beginning that the devs shouldn't do X and Y, and that the dev machines need to be redone after staging is done - as we need to gather hands on experience first, cause no one could explain to me what resources the project actually needed.

TM: Oh. I wasn't aware of that.

Me: I guessed so. You were on vacation at the beginning and I didn't had the time to lead another team...

TM: Yeah... So the dev machines get replaced?

Me: They _could_ be replaced, but the devs would need to reset up their environment, as I and won't transfer the environment of the dev user.

TM: Ah... So they would have to retransfer their personal modifications, if they made any?

Me: Yes. As always, the basic setup just provides the necessary services, settings etc. - stuff like remote IDE settings on the machine, configuration etc is left out and we don't transfer it as it is usually too much of a hassle and risky, as every dev does have his / her own preferences, and we don't want to support every possible configuration out there.

TM: Just out of curiosity... Staging was ready like... Last year?

Me: Beginning of December, yes.

TM: Sigh.

Me: The jolly of having a kinder garten full of toys that no kid wants to clean up...

TM: No comment. The kinder garten Kids might make me a Pinata otherwise.

Me: If only they'd fill us with chocolate first instead of just beating us.

...

Tales of lazy devs, to be continued...

I'm done with dumb girls😠 ! seriously I need a geek girl in my life to understand what I talk or what I share .... A dev girl right now would be awesome ..😃

me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?

🕛3 hours later.

client: yes, that is correct.

me: 😧

It happened just now.

Yes, I put "there is no need to be upset 10 hours" on governmental terminal.

#hackerman

How? Well, I discovered that it was web ui, so random menu category -> random external governmental website with Google map on it -> you know the rest.

It's so fucking hot in here I wanna murder a bitch. How am I gonna continue working like this?

Let's hope it rains soon.

* Footnote:
My heat tolerance is low. About 27 degrees (c) is when my body starts malfunctioning due to heat.

Not on call. 2 hours of sleep, get a call. Ask if primary on call got called... all my coworkers are fixing shit. Why is everything down? I'm tired and need my sleep.

Do you know that feeling when you finally have no more errors, but then you can't tell if the software actually does the right thing?

🤢

Wisdom of the day:
'No crashes' is not equivalent to 'it works'...

DevRant battle royale mode
Every user looses 1 ++ every day. The user with lowest score is deleted and banned from DevRant for a week.
Propose other outrageous, but intriguing changes to DevRant.

We don't need no vim
We don't need no C++
We don't need no Internet
We don't need no devRant
We don't need Java
We don't need Windoze
We don't need spaces for indentation
We don't need School

*passive aggressive smiley*

I so need one of these! 😴💻

After investigation, I'm just refreshing my os and hoping I can reconfigure work applications. Feel bad, but help desk friends are getting me the software to install and are helping me out on a day off.

Wasn't the application like I thought. It was the useless update that won't install and therefore can't be rolled back but is still getting in the way of my work, therefore they can all daisy chain their dicks together in the sane manner little kids make daisy crowns, and then have a steamroller head towards them with faulty brakes (steamroller operator is innocent in this scenario, he jumps out safely).

I'm planning on calling Microsoft in the morning to tell them what I think of them at the moment. But I'm too angry to form words that don't sound petty and childish. I'm open to suggestions.

So at the end of February, my 8 year marriage met it's catastrophic end and I had to immediately relocate, with nada, to a state I've never before set foot in. I was hoping to find an entry level tech position, as I am largely self taught and don't have any certs. So far nothing. I spent 7 years as a cable tech, have to wait another few months to apply at the cable company, but everywhere else tells me I'm overqualified, or need certs/experience in the field. It's a bit discouraging. That's it. Rant over.

Remember:

They need you.

You don't need them.

#clownwellnessthirstythursday

So I need some advice from some fellow devs here...

I recently accepted a job offer at a new company and I'll be leaving my place of work for the last 11 years. I'm a senior level dev who comes from a place where software is more of a secondary function and the skills of my peers are very... Atypical of most software developers.

My interview was ok, but I passed the mark barely - in that they recognize I'm rusty and have some gaps to shore up, but have decided to give me an offer anyway. I'm taking a "step down" to enter in as a level below senior to get my foot in the door of a real tech company.

I've got myself convinced I'm setting myself up to fail, despite being told by people that work there that they encourage mistakes and that they wouldn't be offering me a position if they didn't think I'd be successful.

Is it typical to feel inadequate and worried you'll be fired prematurely for underperformance? I've had little to no experience in a fast paced tech job so I have little to refer to. I was a very high performer where I'm coming from, but that's hard to equate to where I'm going. It seems like classic "impostor syndrome".

I've not even started there yet but I'm terrified my anxiety will get the better of me before I even have my first day there. Anyone out there have any advice?

I'm excited for this new opportunity but I can't seem to shake the fear of the unknown.

There once was a game.
In that game, there was an OS.
But that OS knew not his name.

The OS was mad, wild, and free.

"Oh, would you find a name for me?"

Seriously, I need a name for the Linux OS in my game. :3
I'll be used for hacking.
Please be original.
Bonus point if you google it to make sure it doesn't exist already.

:3

Not exactly a dev related rant.

Do you ever get the feeling when you're not working, like today, that you're kinda wasting time (can't find a better way to describe)? I usually work on Sunday at home, running behind insane deadlines, trying to anticipate tasks. Today was different, I woke up to a fresh VS 2017 install, updated my .net core api to 2.0, learnt how to deploy to Azure, made a CI/CD pipeline and then spend some fun time with my 5 month baby. Argued with him when Azure didn't let me make a new subscription. Sat on the sidewalk with him doing absolutely nothing for a solid half hour, only looking the way he admired everything around him and stuff. Took the trash out, did the dishes, helped with the laundry. But yet I feel like tomorrow gonna be a rough day, where everything will blow up 'cause I didn't did anything work related.

I'm starting to think I lost the taste of enjoying myself, enjoying the people around me, my family, parents, friends. I've been spending too much time on autopilot. Wake up, smoke, work, eat, work, smoke, sleep. Repeat.

I do enjoy my job, a little less when it's not dev related, but I do anyway. We are a small company with big contracts and tight deadlines. Always struggling to give our best and advance further, but I can see I'm loosing something while giving 120% of attention to my job.

Anyway, just wanted to get this thing out of my chest. Thank you if you read this far.

“You have a Jira?”
“You need a Jira, first”
“Open a Jira”
“You need a Jira for that too”
“That Jira is on the wrong board, plus you need to email _this_ form first”
Jira, Jira, Jira-fucking-jira, AAAHHHHHHHHHHH, STOP!

My job appears to be nothing more than an abstraction layer around Jira. A leaky abstraction

Need to save money, but saw new devrant hoodie.

$money--;

Broken app's cousin (they do similar things are share devs) is now broken again too.

On two calls at once. Yay.

THESE PEOPLE NEED TO BE REPLACED

Damn Apple. These stupid certificates. I only want to send notifications. On Android I have to add one API key. And you Apple? Struggeling to get ionic push working for 6 hours...

I'm a full-time interviewee. If I would get paid for every interview, I wouldn't need a job.

Who the f planned a meeting with the client at 9 AM?

Anybody have the bad habits of biting nails down and sometimes tearing the skin off finger-tips just because licking the blood is somehow calming?

If so, how do you combat it?

Found our server had been exploited, good bye evening :(

Okay.. Serious question.

I have a game. And a license that i have to provide a name for.

..I'm transgender, and have get to get a legal name change...

Do I /have/ to claim it under my birth name? (I don't own a company, so i assume the answer is yes.)

Yesterday night I worked 2 hours on a side project.

This is the first time in 4 months this happens.

Feels so much better man

So, my last post was about dual booting to Linux. I haven't had problems with Windows. However, after an apart partial update to the Creaters version, I can't open anything without an error that says "ceip.exe was unable to start correctly (0xc0000142)." I can't even run command prompt.

I have nothing on my PC that I can't replace (everything is backed up in at least two places) other than the programs I need for work. I can get them on Monday. But I'm on call the rest of today and tomorrow. And i need them because they help me test system health.

Trying to run the update again to see if I can repair it that way, otherwise, any suggestions for a temporary fix? Thinking my switch to Linux is sooner than I thought, but I have to be able to work.

Slept for two hours tonight because of my baby girl... I've been staring at the same piece of code for an hour or so.. Had 2 double espressos.. Didn't work.. Ppl talking to me and im like...

Added new hidden function in my service: If you don't reply with "thanks" after I send you requested data, I will not reply to your requests for 15 minutes.
Clients really need to learn some manners and I'm here to help.

I need a hobby or someone to yell at me until I take a break from working all day every day.

Then again if I had a home office I probably wouldn't need to put in 12 hours to get 6 hours of work done.

But I still need something to do besides work and family. And someone to kick my butt until I do it and relax.

After two weeks with Ubuntu - I'm done with this. I'm going back to Windows.

Why? Well, it fixes some Windows problems, but at the same time new ones are popping and they are even bloody worse.

We don’t need no compilation.
We don’t need no source control.

OMG, more changes requested by a client for their website. Co-worker is wondering why they're doing these requests and is asking my boss if the design confirmation process has been skipped.

I'm a junior developer, and this is my only experience so far. I don't know shit how to deal with these stuff. I just wanna focus on development right now. Have a proper team to guide me. Be in an environment where I can get strong technical learning. I don't know how to deal with all these politics yet.

I wanna walk out but I can't. I can't be selfish to my wife and let her be the only source of income, seeing as she even has it worse and wants to get out of her workplace too. I've done it before, can't let it happen again.

Sorry for the drama. I gotta vent out.

My co-worker, still studying but working as a "senior dev", just decided that we don't need a test/staging environment anymore. We just "validate" (we also don't use the word "test" anymore) newly created features in production.

Makes absolutely sense...

Thank god I have a new job from february on!

If I cut my wrists it would flow and sprinkle too much thick and hot italian coffee instead of the blood.

Duck partner for doctors 🦆🦆🦆

I really can't focus on anything else when there's an unfinished assignment or a deadline approaching.. I debug in my sleep and daydream in public transport thinking about all the things I'll have to code later.

I hate it because I'm ignoring all my loved ones during days like these and it always backfires on me somehow. However, I can't help myself - I am always stressing out..

I can't figure out how to get in contact with Firefox to figure out why every time i log into a website i need for work on Nightly, it states that my username or password aren't on record, and i have to change my password (even when switching browsers). Only started after their last update today, and now that I'm testing other sites, it's multiple sites, but not all.

Ideas? help?

We seem to have a problem, if I leave the 50k club, there'll be no one in the 50k club 😦

Come on you 40k clubbers, you need to pick up the slack!

I need a name for a new app.

It's a spur of the moment travel app that lets you select the temp and humidity ranges you want and finds you the cheapest flights.

Dazzle me please.

My No.1 interview question for UX developers:

What are the CSS default text and background colours?

The correct answer is: "undefined-on-undefined".

If your 1st thought was "black-on-white", you're the reason we can't have nice things.

After 2 years in a small company as an all around software developer (started with xamarin for Android/iOS, then Unity, then OpenXML, augmented reality, virtual reality and .Net MVC...yeah all that and lots more) I changed to another company and I'm here 1 month and some days. I am super enthusiastic and I like it here!! They're more specific and professional, exactly what I need at the moment.

What is the problem, you might ask?

I was given some projects, I have done most of the work but now an issue arrived. I did almost everything and now we're waiting for some answers needed before closing the projects. And I get bored. I want to work!! I need to continue the streak! Just give me something and I'll make it happen!! I am boreeed!!

What is wrong with me? Am I buggy or something?

It's so fucking hot today, just seriously fucking rediculous. Thinking of taking the laptop to code at the beer garden - will be the only way to get any productivity done.

Thoughts?

(I'll give some context before the rant: I'm part if the IT department of a manufacturing company (actually I'm 1/2 of the department), and all the applications (old an new - except the ones used on production line) used in the company are my responsibility, that including most of databases too... Also, English isn't my native language so there will be some words or phrases that I'll probably write wrong... Sorry for that, if there are any corrections, I'll be glad to hear them)

So...

There will be an implementation of new "control point" on the "shipping department" which consists on a electromechanical equipment controlled by a PLC. And despite the original concept was a collaboration between 2 departments (we, IT, and Production Control), I was never taken in consideration about anything of the project... To be fair, I forget about its existence until two weeks ago.

So, a few days I learned that there are a huge delay regarding the original deadline (mainly because the supplier was delayed with the delivery of their system), and since two weeks (less, actually, because some holydays in between) I'm learning how to integrate that "P.o.S" into an existing application on a PC using a serial communication (not the main problem, as I've done that before... With another brand of PLC's) while avoiding buying any additional software (to get the communication done and in a easy way) and that sort of things... But discovering in the process that it will be necessary to acquire such additional SW in order to finish the job ASAP.

When suddenly I get the "news" that it's almost all my duty (and responsibility) to meet the original deadline, because it doesn't matter how the other departments screw all the schedule, it's the job of IT to get the shit done in time... And what is worst: they didn't said that in such straight manner, no, the implied it while making a quick test with the general manager.

I mean, WTF? Besides doing a "respectable" number of "user support" activities in a dialy basis, I also need to manage the activities of other departments? And also fix their screw ups on a schedule that I just learned days before?

And also there is a coworker (one of whom screwed up) that, almost every time she see me, is asking "how much until you'll finish?"

As I read on a meme years ago: "please, give patience, because if you give strength, I'll need bail money too..."

Damn... I don't know of the benefits of this work are worth all this nonsense

Reviewing code for applications after not working on it for six months.

Client: so what is the first step to adding our new feature.

Me: I really think we need to redo the entire architecture from the ground up. It won't work any differently than it does now, but the code will be cleaner.

Client:😓

Me:😅

I've been away from devRant (and other social media) for a few days because I thought i needed to concentrate on a project that I'm currently working on.

I just realized that I need this, I really need to rant! There is just too much to rant about. Like how fuckin annoying tomcat is, (don't ask me, someone is paying for me to use it), or how eclipse is happily hugging over 1gb of my ram, ( again don't ask), meanwhile vscode is doing just the same thing (debugging a tomcat server) with less than 300mb! There's so much to be annoyed about that I truly don't know how I was getting along before devRant.

I NEED TO GET BETTER......I NEED TO GET BETTER

and I am sick 🤧

1. I have to learn German (as a language).
2. I have undiagnosed and subclinical ADHD.
3. I have a job that partially needs my brain for 9 hours of the day.
4. I'm coming off of antidepressants. (Life has been hard lately. Needed a little help to cope.)
5. I need to finish learning German in about 2-3 months.
6. I don't enjoy interacting with people.

Any suggestions for what can help with the goal? Software, web apps, services, etc. Specially good non-violent and non-depressing tv-series.

Need some advice -

I have over one month spare time before joining the company. I have always wanted to learn an instrument but I'm also 'thinking' of joining a gym but I don't have any fantasies for big biceps and I am a big time foodie.

I have read that learning new instruments would help you in critical and out of the box thinking which is a definite plus while programming. While joining a gym would be a good way to keep myself fit in this hectic world of programming.

I'm torn in choosing between these two options. Which one should I join as a developer? What would my fellow devs suggest? 🤔

worst coding mistake... anything I've done in WordPress

I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO 3 OF THE FINEST HACKATHONS IN MY COUNTRY RN, 2 BEING ORGANISED BY HUGE COMPANIES AND ONE BY A COOL COLLEGE. I CAN'T GO BECAUSE FUCKING INFOSYS IS COMING TO MY COLLEGE FOR PLACEMENTS AND MY TEAM MEMBERS ARE NOW BACKING OFF. WTF.

Is there a place i can start a collab for free, but like the devRant Collabs?

The amounts of confusion, shame, and sweat after an interview is devastating...

!Dev / story

My phone starts dying gently but surely. Since last week I cannot use my jack input anymore, and thus can't listen to music in the car. I also compose music, and was eager to listen to my latest production (for reviewing purposes) in the car. In my frustrated search for a spare device with a jack, I found a pile of blank CDs instead. "Aw yiss, I can haz music in my car" I thought with a huge relieved grin.

I grabbed a CD, looked at my pc, and my grin faded instantly to an "oh" of disappointment: I deliberately did not install a CD drive in my computer.

Not losing hope, I grabbed my Mac and tried inserting my blank disk in the drive. "Clunk, clunk", the cd won't go in. "Ah silly me, I replaced that drive with a SSD". So I went looking for that spare cd drive.

After I found it, its SATA power interface was smaller than regular SATA devices, and any connectors I tried were too big. "Hmpf, ok, I'm desperate, let's remove that SSD in my Mac". So I went grabbing some screwdrivers, removed the cover lid underneath the computer, and removed two screws from the SSD casing, allowing me to lift the unit up, disconnect the cable, plug in the cd drive, flip the Mac carefully, turn it on... And burn my CDs, and finally I resetted everything back to normal, carefully removing the cd drive and closing the computer.

What one doesn't do in frustration...

Made a change.
Patched some files.
Ran the app.
App not working as intended.
Freak out.
Check code.
Think of random solution.

Waste an hour.

Realise that files weren't patched properly.
Kick myself in the head.

Am I the only one, who craves for a little praise? Just one little "good job" now and then would make wonders.

The moment you find an ex-colleague used code comments to take someones mobile number, then accidentally committed it. It's been there over a year!

4 a.m. and you CANT sleep until you get the damn bug fixed!

So I ordered a blue yeti mic, mic arm and pop filter, to buy from Amazon Australia (the warehouse is a 2 hour drive from my home) it would have cost me $450 and arrived January 18th, I ordered it from Amazon US and paid 208 that includes shipping and import and it's arrives on the 10th.... Come on Amazon are you fucking serious?!

Recently I have lots of very unproductive days. I m just very tired and even coffee puts me to sleep at work. What's interesting is that as soon as I open something interesting on the web or start working on some new component it all goes away for an hour or so.

So I just wanted to ask you if you have weeks like this.

How can I get myself fixed :(

Not owning a mac really does make mac exports really hard to test when you can only run a VM with 128MB of VRAM...

Who would have thought!

Spotify Premium. without it, productivity drops immediately to 0

Okay so I jumped on this app because I would ideally want to make friends interested in the stuff I am.
Using this app has really made me realise how much of a noob I am though. I feel like I'm doomed to never find the kinda people I wanna know.

This annoying chick Snapchatting near my desk talking loudly to the phone. Wtf.

Show off your personal website
(Links in the comments)

I wanted to write: useFetchData
I ended up writing: useFartData

not much of a difference just different wording 🤷🏻

Just realised chrome almost has picture in picture working for videos... If you enable the PiP flag you can double right click on videos and it has an option to enter PiP... Come on please finish this!

I'm asking a few questions to all the game developers here.
1. How'd you learn to make games (books, YouTube series, udemy, sold your soul to Satan, etc) ?
2. When and how did you realize that Game Dev is what you want to do?
Thanks.

Does devrant have a public api? Tempted to write an atom plugin so I can pretend to work, but actually rant.

The test sucked fucking ass. I’m almost sure I failed.

This entire third has been full of bad grades in math and I need immediate help. God, I feel helpless.

What a week!!

Seriously exhausted. Crunch time to launch a brand new service... Pulling all nighters and stress.

Looking forward to having many beers with the boss to celebrate once it's a done and dusted.

Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.

Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.

(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))

It's only Thursday... morning... WTF....

(my internet is so slow I delete the post I uploaded an hour ago because it looked like the image was corrupted... It was just still loading)

Q: WTF was used in __ different ways in this rant. How many and what are they?

When you are so tired that you just fell asleep with the flashlight of your handy on and shining directly at you 😪

Any advice on some good SQL book or resources?

I need to start learning DB designing and theory.

I know jackshit apart from the basic commands.

so a client yesterday decides they need a site built by eop Friday, that has been quoted today. if approved first thing tomorrow gives about 1.5 days to get it done. Thanks boss

I think CPU manufacturers should start using bogomips as their focal point in advertising.

That poor unscientific measurement is neglected.

We should be aiming for Megabogomips by now people. MEGABOGOMIPS.

The moment you are laying in bed and you suddenly see a rant about the perfect laptop with 20+ comments on the rant.

*starts googling every model mentioned in comments*

Does anyone ever feel like development is just attaching shitty libraries one to another?

Advertisment:

I need Alfred. I need Jarvis.

You don't need to call me Sir.

I never seen my high school friends about a year because of my project and community (with same topic). Then when I met them, I just realized that I never have social life. Still, I'm just a listener. I don't know how I tell about what I did last year, because I'm too afraid they don't understand.

Then I keep my mouth, just smiling, listen their awesome story about their jobs, family or their friends in college ....

I'm come back home, so lonely in here. I opened my laptop, then realised another things. I'm just communicated with scripts, with millions line of codes, with many library, with many issues about my projects, with those compiler ...

How you guys talk with non-IT friends? I don't even remember how I used to be their friends and laugh together

What a saddest night in my life ...

Plz send more stickers!! I need hulpppp!

Took a week of PTO for a vacation because I'm pretty close to spent these days. Planning on getting in some kayaking and fishing I think, maybe some noodling on the guitar or read some Tolkien, as I really need to take a break from the computer and screens in general, and living in the latest COVID epicenter in the US I can do fuck all else.

I'm /really/ trying to force myself to ignore slack and work emails. I did all I could to leave my team prepared, and given that most are juniors who need A LOT of supervision since working remote, I fully anticipate having to fix everything and get shit back on track when I return next week. Telling myself it's inevitable so worrying about it now won't be any better than waiting till next week. LEARN TO READ CODE AND COMMIT HISTORY FUCKERS!

I know I have a full workload slated for the rest of the year and into Q1 21, so I know letting shit go for a little while is the best thing I can do for myself, and so that my family doesn't have to deal with me being a bastard all the damn time.

I might be pushing my 4 years old macbook pro too hard with 2 IDEs, 1 instance of datagrip, and tons of open browser tabs, all on 4gb of RAM..

I hate dependencies... I'm stuck on a project because I need to wait for some one else to provide specs and access to their API.... And well I was also given a deadline...

"Yep, I think I finally see the end of the project, we will be able to finish this, I just quickly need to add a simple UI on top of it and a simple admin page" - what this usually meant, that I am nowhere near anything usable, I have just created the database structure. What would have happened, if I would have actually been honest with my bosses and would have asked for more help? 😟

I'm making excel scream in pain

if ($I->stillAwake()) {
sleep (60*60*5);
$I->setZombieMode(true);
if (!$Office->coffeeAvailable()) {
die();
}
}

So worried people will fuck things up in work when I'm not there. It's causing such tiredness and such long days. 🙇I think it's caught up with with today. No holiday leave taken for 9 months and not a day off sick. 🏳

My best mate is giving me his old (3 years) gaming pc! I can play all the things now

Spilled coffee on my keyboard 3rd time this week.. guess who don't want to work and need a vacation

!rant, need advice

I have no idea where to start with freelancing.

My girlfriend's been wanting to get some stuff but due to some issues hasn't been able to and has been extremely hesitant about bringing the topic up.

So to surprise her, I decided it'd be nice if I could freelance on the side and rake up some money so she can get the things she wants and I can spoil her (she's been through things and honestly deserves it).

So if you guys have any suggestions on where to start freelancing, that'd be great. I can do graphics and web design and just set up an anonymous Fiverr account but never had any luck with it.

At what moment do you realize you need to stop coding? Mine is when the code starts bleeding together. Like when I start putting config file information into my methods, which I ended up doing tonight. 😖 God it's time for pizza. 🍕

Okay. So I'm in class right now. And we'll do a rather big IT project (in groups of 2) later this year. And one of my classmates (I hate him AF but he doesn't know because he doesn't get shit) just asked me if I can make him a social media platform. HOLY FUCKING MOTHER SHITTING FUCK. CAN YOU PLEASR JUST STOP TALKING TO ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU DONT DESERVE TO LIVE. GO FUCK A TABLE!! IM NOT GOING TO CREATE ANYTHING FOR ANYBODY. AND YOOOUUU LITTLE FUCKER ARE ASKING ME TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU?? EVERYONE FROM MY CLASS IS AT LEAST SOME KIND OF NICE BUT YOU PIECE OF CUNTSHIT NEVER EVEN DID A SINGLE THING FOR ANYONE. AND YOU ARE ASKING ME TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME. LIKE WHAT HODDAMN HOPE DO YOU COME FROM. COULD YOU PLEASE JUST GO BACK INTO THAT HOLE??!!!

Hi all,
I want to get advice about a VPN Service,

Currently NordVPN giving away 75% discount for 3 years subscription which costs $107.55,

Any of you have experience with their service?

Need reviews or opinions

i wrote a website, a server in go, a small os in c, a game in js, a game and server and web scraper and other desktop apps in java, mobile apps with flutter, a website with php also, implemented aes in go, wrote a parser in java. done sysadmin stuff on my vps and pihole/openvpn/nextcloud on my rpi. learn about c vulnerabilities and used metasploit. attempted to write an interpreted language. did some led displays with arduino. currently learning tensorflow.

i have never...
- written a driver
- made a game with a game engine
- created a file encoding
- implemented an oauth2 server
- made an api
- worked with vr

what am i missing? i want to be a very well rounded dev.

Why the hell does this installer need to run tests for about an hour, when I only want to install the update?????

It probably will be an unanswered question, but let's try.

Does anyone know of a large project using onion / hexagonal/ ddd or similar architecture with free access to the source code...

Or an example of said architectures that goes beyond "trivial dumb example".

The new recruits need... A lot of brushing up (I'd be for electro shock treatment and other stuff, but somehow HR thinks I'm joking).

As said, most examples I found are too basic. On the other hand, if I write now a good example, I'd need to do it in either my free time (nope, just nope) or jiggle it in somewhere in company time (aka it will be never finished nor be in a useful state).

Programming language preferred would be Java, but as I'm fluent in most languages except the forbidden ones (JavaScript and it's friends) ...

Anything would be helpful.

Most welcome would be an example with a focus on Adapter / Ports, e.g. abstraction of HTTP client usage / ORM etc.

Thanks.

Ok guys just curious what time do you usually sleep and wake up? I usually sleep around 11pm or 12am and wake up 5:30am. I need to fix this

Finnaly found some documentation and guidelines for creating Ubuntu suru icons, this took way too long to find!

Oh well, at least I can finnaly start working on some icon sets for my apps! :-D

<notarant>
Just got my class schedule for freshman Computer Science. Find out they teach C++ for Programming 101. Guess I should stop using C for the next couple months and buy a C++ book.
</notarant>

At the airport with the missus going back home, making time in the duty free. One of the people working on it asked a very dry "what are you looking for?" with no salutation whatsoever. I was this👉👈close to answer "a new job!"

Fucking fuckers!!! Why the fuck EVERY time I work from home, there's gotta be some jackass with a leaf blower, drill or chainsaw...

Need that we all need 🤣

I NEED COFFEE!!!
I NEED COFFEE!!!
I NEED COFFEE!!!

It is Monday 1:22PM here and what is on my mind? Sleeping. I freaking want to sleep right now.

What the hell do I do to keep awake #_#

I have a lot of fun during crunch time.

It's like running a marathon. It is both physically and mentally taxing, and I get a rush out of seeing how hard I can push myself.

But like a marathon, it suuuuucks if you are not prepared, or you otherwise didn't want to do that.

You hear that bosses?
Crunch is like running a marathon. That thing that people, who prepare for years to do, still causes them to piss and shit themselves while their nipples bleed. And that's when they are fully prepared. That is what you are asking your team to do without any notice ahead of time.

"Ok Derrick, I know you wanted to visit your family in the country this weekend. But we need you to run uphill, fuled only by diet dr pepper and fear of loosing your job, untill you pass out and need an I.V. to keep you from stroking out. '

Otherwise a lot of fun.

I need to stop adding, weep uncontrollably, between tasks in my work to do list before my coworkers start thinking I'm serious.

Technically I am serious - you would be too if you had to manage the servers I inherited - but I don't want to ruin the all powerful Wizard of Oz vibe I got going.

Booted up IntelliJ to find the 2018.2 update just dropped. Took me a moment to get used to the design changes they've made, especially overhauling most of the icons.

Only thing I don't like in this change is taking away the color icons from my tool windows, there was a plugin to fix it though thankfully. I need some color in my workflow!

How's the update treating other jetbrains users?

Being Ill and a dev is the worst... Not being able to think straight and focus for more then 2seconds really kills any sort of work you can do

Is there a good technical reason to not allow passwords to contain special characters? My isp does this and I need to know why.

I don't need a stress ball. I need only devrant <3

I just spent about 30h desperately trying to figure out why my Qradar API queries were not working while running in docker, but somehow worked when running locally. I was just minimally stressed because it's my bachelor thesis, which I need to turn in in 3 weeks and this basically nuked my whole planning.
So apparently docker requires you to set your own timezone, so my API queries were always querying data from an hour early, when the requested data did not exist yet....
It's 3PM and I need a drink, or maybe 10

Anyone of you have any idea how to go sleep earlier? I was on sick leave for a week and usually watched movies or coded something to 6AM and now just lay on the bed for 3-4 hours each day and try to sleep. It ends up going to sleep at 4AM and being zombie at work.

Damn...! Can't find perfect wallpaper....spent like 20min.
Can someone give me cool and awesome wallpaper or some links? . (I prefer black or blue patterns, design, anything).

when the pm chooses a js library but says can you just change this... either accept the library as you chose it or give a proper spec to write it from scratch

@dfox
Awesome devrant podcasts.
Seriously, if you enjoy devrant you will be really impressed with the two they have done so far.

Surprised at the five star guests they have gotten so far.

Just need to net Uncle Bob.

Having a hard time finding work. Jack of all trades, master of none. Went to college for a while, but never finished a degree. Mostly self taught and can easily learn on the fly.

Can program, 3d design and model, ins and outs of unreal engine 4, web stuff, can do IT work, knows VR standards and tricks, powerful desktop and powerful laptop, plenty of uhd cameras, knows Android and ios, etc.

Where do I look? What can I apply for? Can I make money on my own? Can I provide a service? How do I sell that?

HALP 😫

Hi!
I was trying to format my backup drive (/dev/sdb)
Was focused on eating also at the same time
Wrote sudo fdisk /dev/sda and didn't notice and changed the partition type to GPT(although it was already like that)
I gave me message that will do on next reboot
My dumb mind didn't suspect, instead rebooted (facepalm)
Lost all my data
Instead of trying to recover was quick to install OS
Permanently lost my data
Help me I need hopes and tricks to move on

How did you cope up with yourself once you lost all your data?

This is what happens when it's late at night and you've been staring at something for too long... someone had to point out to me that I actually added the wrong permission :/

Spending 40% time I'm playing a game waiting for the game to load :/
Should have gotten a laptop with a graphics card... :(

So, i decided to Start making an Android App (quite a big Project to me), so i we're Reading books und Programming Yesterday for 12, today for 10 hours, everything worked Out perfectly, i fehlt great.
(But, Thats the rule, never feel too confident)

So i wanted to Put the Last Activity in my App, chanhed the XML etc.
At the end i thought i should run it one Last Time before i shutdown my PC.
Well, Error in my XML, tried to fix it for 1 hour (quiet a Long Time for 8 lines of Code), didnt Work.
I pressed Ctrl+z until it reached the Point where it Last Time worked... Still doesnt Work.

So, i am quiet pissed Off, and sleepy.
My Dilemma, eat and sleep? Or try to fix everything...

public class TodaysRant extends YesterdaysRant implements Rant {

public string getRantContent() {
StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();

sb.Append(super.getRantContent());

sb.Append("Going on my rant from yesterday, should you be required to provide your own laptop/desktop/equipment, or should it be the responsibility of the company?");

return sb.ToString();
}

}

Ok the ionic datetime component horror ended. I got it working good enough but I'm not proud of my code. The whole thing is a giant hack parsing dates to and from strings, switching locales, setting months and days and using the month as a daypicker as this fucking component does not allow me display day names in it, only month names. Such a mess... at least now I can work on the stuff that matters.
Actually though about making this open source... I reconsidered.

Don't you hate it when you have too many GB or RAM occupied and then you decide to launch a VM without realizing that Virtualbox will not only take the remaining space left but will also cap your RAM and everything freezes!? Uugghhh!

I feel like I need to change company... it's Monday, I'm 1 hour late to work and already wanting to go back home.

Any Portuguese company looking for a iOS dev? 😅😅

Well my good mate is sending me a message asking how to install a graphics card because his won't lock in...

Mind you, this is the guy who watched me build his pc, taught him how to do it, were both in the same TAFE class for information technology and his job is repairing computers and replacing parts... And I still can't find a job in IT -.-

Buying a brand new laptop, I think I'll save some money and get an i5 instead of an i7 and then turn around the next day and decide I hate money and I love having a computer that's more powerful than I need it to be.

What the fuck is up with all these vpn articles. It seems like they are everywhere. It's like get this vpn, no buy this one, wait no buy this one. Like I don't need a fucking vpn and it's not a must have.

!Rant
Help/ideas needed

I need ideas of projects to develop in my free time, I'm tired of the old technology and ugly projects from work, I want to develop something new, fun, to feel the excitement of coding again ;)

The field does not matter i'm willing to learn.

And , no , I can get another job, that is not an option because of the special benefits it's offering that I can not find in another company(very flexible schedule, I'm a student and need it).

You ever had a moment where a college asked you a few questions, while you're busy. But because you're nice you still help them, then they notice that and start asking you everything? Even before fucking Search on internet?? THE Most fucking obvious questions even just copy pasting error messages where the solution is in the error messages!

I need a new laptop. Fucking 8gigs of ram aren't enough for anything these days.
Today at work I had 4 gig of swap allocated...
Any recommendations whether to buy ryzen mobile or IntelU. I want an ultrabook because I move around quite a lot.

Dear clients

Websites are not a turnkey business.
Your site is going to need maintenance overtime. And you are going to need to pay for it.

Hi devRant community,

First of all, I'm so grateful and thankful for being part
of this awesome community. CHEERS!

I just wanna ask some advices from my super kind and awesome
pile of developers, what is the best thing to do if you're
stucked between creating a certain feature and a raging
girlfriend. I mean, my head is aching. I don't know what to do.
She needs time, but my first love which is programming also
needs much more of my time.

#devRantRocks

Fuck Windows. I just checked settings hoping to see the Creators update but noooo it's been failing to install a minor update for weeks now. And the best part is that the only solution might wind up being a clean reinstall. I need to be sleeping right now but I can't go to school in the morning without my laptop either so I'm fucked. I was already too deep in the recovery process by bedtime to back out. Fuck.

From Documentation:
"A SHA256 HMAC is created outside of Bronto. If you need help with this step, contact one of the developers at your company."

Yes because, cause every company has a developer.

*Only developer at company*

Heyy friends :-) Milo here once again, i hope everyone is having an absolutely amazing day as always and I really hope the upcoming week ahead brings everyone the best ☺️.

So I have finally managed to hand in all my major projects for my semester last Friday (yay less stress 😅) but tomorrow i have a final presentation to do (wish me luck 😅) ... boy am I nervous, but as of right now I’m just going over my slides ahah 😄.

So in my free time over the next couple of weeks I’m really planning on gaining a better understanding of algorithms , I’d love some input from
Anyone and any advice I’d highly appreciate!, currently i have a book called introduction to algorithms third addition sitting on my desktop and I’ve been reading some of that 😃..

So ladies and gents, once again thank you for taking the time to read my
Rambling and long post.. i just have a habit of rambling on 😄.. my bad , once again - thank you!

Milo 😃❤️

!rant

Just been told that my company needs to make my position redundant - and I have my wedding coming up!! Awful day... Anyone need a seasoned developer?

What’s your favorite IDE for Java?

After 4 1/2 hours of testing I have redeployed my postgresql database from Windows to Debian Server. I can now access my database and deploy webapps from any computer, anywhere, anytime.

It's 2:30 AM in the morning. I am exhausted but fulfilled.

Sometimes I really hate offshore desktop support... yes I know Visual Studio 15 was installed, and works. But now Python tools was uninstalled in a forced update that corrupted my VS and now I can't install PTVS(not that I need VS has the vim emulator that I can install at work, it's a whole mess of weird security policies.) fucking hate windows and visual studio. Fucking listen what Im telling you the issue is. I need your dumbass to uninstall this shit software so I can do a clean install since the shitty as software management system doesn't so shit when it say's "uninstalling".

On a side note, this fuckwit just tried to explain what the screenshot tool and how to use it... it's only pinned to my taskbar and menu for shits and gigs since I don't use it everyday to tell the stupid data entry analysts I deal with to fuck off.

! Suggestion

So I've one project based on fingerprint scanner where the scanner came with sdk for c# and other language libraries.
So basically the user punches for login and logout I'm storing timestamp based on that to MongoDB. Now the only concern is when the user punches, it doesn't give any response like sound or light for telling it's accepted or not.
For that I've to do something so my guess was
1. Sound
2. Light

But, it's for library and they don't want sound. And my scanner don't have any extra light for that.
Anyone got any suggestion or cool idea?
(I'm using Nitgen Fingkey Hamster I DX HFDU06)