Google is full of assholes!

Just paid $25 dollars to list my app on google play store. Within 15 minutes of submitting the app, it got de-listed.

Reason:
Impersonation

Who am I impersonating?
The logo is impersonating the logo shown on MY OWN website!!!

How dafuq can you impersonate your own intellectual property?????

Contacted them back using their form. Didn't even call them "cunts". Asked to have it reviewed.
After waiting 7 business days, started sending them 1 email a day. On day 11 I sent 100 identical email asking them to review it.
Today (day 12), they cleared the app. I got this reply back.

"We found that your app was not in violation of our policies"
-Google

When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.

Frontend-developer's day is like:

*moving element by 0.0001px to right*:
- *10 new pages appeared*
- *text suddenly disappeared*
- *pictures pierced bottom of page*
- *window.alert("Kill me")*
- *it's night outside the window, but you totally sure a minute ago was a noon*

*moving element back*:
- *no pictures*
- *no text*
- *no moon*
- *10 blank pages*
- *only darkness left in this world...
...and this fcking element, yeah*

Tldr :
Office Building : 1
Population: 5000
Number of PC users: 5000
No of Spare mice: 0

Day 1:
Training period commences.
My mouse laser sensor doesn't work.

Solution: Use this mouse to log in to your system.
Open the company portal.
Connect to vpn.
Enter username password.
Create a ticket for mouse replacement.
Done.

Day 3
I bring my own mouse.
Confiscated at security.
Becomes a security violation.

Day 9
I get a call from helpdesk.
Agent- what is the problem?
Me- my mouse is not working.
Agent- why?
Me- what do you mean? Something is wrong with the sensor.
Agent- clean the sensor.
Disconnects call.
Marks ticket as resolved.
Me- WTF just happened!

Naturally, I escalate the issue.

Day 15
Level 2 Agent- what happened? Why have you escalated the issue?
Me- I need a mouse, waiting since 2 weeks.
Him- No mouse is available
Me- you don't have a single spare mouse available in an office with 5000 PC users?
Him- no they're out of stock.
Me- when will it be back in stock?
Him- we will 'soon' launch a tender for quotations from sellers.
Me- time?
Him- 1 week.

Day 34

I email the head of supplies for the city office. Next day I get a used super small mouse, which doesn't have a left button. Anyways, I've given up hope now.

Day 45
I become a master at keyboard shortcuts.
Finish my training.
Get transferred to another city.
No mouse till date.

Surprisingly, this was one of the top recruiters in my country. Never knew, MNCs can be so so inefficient for such simple tasks.
Start-ups are way better in this regard. Latest tech, small community, minimal bureaucracy and a lot of respect and things to learn.

This one guy REALLY WANTED to work on the hardware (aka arduino in this case) part.

After hours of trying (with 8 guys) of get it to work on windows which just didn't happen, he still refused to even live boot into a Ubuntu machine.

At the end of the day one of the members went to sit down with him to talk about it and the guy finally gave in.

Two seconds into Ubuntu and arduino was successfully up and running!

Then, every day whenever he didn't get something, he'd just do nothing for the entire day while claiming to be working. The team leader sat down with him and I did too, offering him to sit next to me for a day to see how backend stuff went (I was the backender).

Did it but it just went back to the same old bullshit.

I honestly don't mind it if you find it difficult to ask for help but if you, after numerous chances and conversations, still don't do shit, sorry but fuck off.

He was a nice guy and blamed his autism for it but that's just not how it works.

Yep. I worked at a place where my director and manager were true mysogynists. One day the director walks behind one of my subordinates and knees her in the back of the knees to make her fall back so that he can catch her. He does this in front the whole office. I told her that I had her back if she chose to complain. We went to our CO and laid everything out, and he was forced to take action. I was pulled aside and told that I would ruin my career if I went durn this path. I told them that it was more important to me to do the right thing. The director was forced to resign, the manager was reassigned to another location, and yes, my career suffered, especially in the area of promotion. But you know what? I'd do it again, because it was the right thing to do.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

My startup actually made the first place in an accelerator program! We'll start negotiations on Monday!! I'm so fucking excited!

Plus I met a really nice person on the train on my way back home! What the actual fuck is that a nice day!

There is no shame in using google to program.

'Back in the day' we had phonebook sized books of documentation on our desks we would reference constantly.

Why?

No one is going to memorize a phone book sized book. Not to mention three or four of them.

Being a good dev is about creativity, not memorization.

Warning: This is going to be a long one!

Day 1: Fresh outta grad school. Joined a start-up in silicon valley (50% lower pay than avg salary) . Moved to the bay area and rented a car to travel to work. First day, all excited, drive 35 miles to work.

It's a small company with just 5 people. Greeted by the CEO himself. Asks me to wait outside while he goes speaks with the project manager. In the meantime the office manager asks if I have a copy of my resume.

10 minutes later, the CEO walks out and tell me: "I'm sorry but I don't have a job for you at this time. Please come back after a month". Palms are sweaty, Knees weak, arms are heavy. I feel my heart skipping several beats. As an F1 student I immediately start thinking about my visa status.

I drive back home and try to think what I should do next. Then suddenly the CEO calls me back saying pls come back and we can work something out. I drive back and I'm offered a small spot on a round table with my colleagues. Everyone looks stressed out and sad.

Day 2: Work starts early since we need to collaborate with a team in India. I reach work at 6:00 am hoping my second day is better than the first. Couple minutes into the early morning meeting, the CEO flips out and screams: "I'm going to fucking fire everyone. This fucking thing is taking too long. Just get the fuck out already".

Day 547: I finally quit and joined another start-up :)

A few years back, there was a super repetitive task I needed to do to create a bunch of new screens for a new feature.

The task was so repetitive that I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and was avoiding it as long as possible.

Finally the day came where I needed to get it done. I sat at the computer readying myself to finally start/finish the task.

As I was going through the files, I could see all the work had already been done..? Confused, I opened up git history, and saw that I had checked the files in a few nights back.

Best I could do was trace it back to a house party where I was the last to go to sleep.

That was the day that I realised the power of auto-pilot :)

Day 1:
I installed an alarm app that doesn't turn off until you solve some math problem.
Next morning:
* alarm turns on
* solve the math problem
* get back to sleep

Conclusion:
most dangerous thing in the morning is the " let me close my eyes for one second"

Hey everyone - earlier tonight a surprise change in the Apple subscription API response caused devRant++ members on iOS to temporarily lose their supporter status. All should be restored now, and within the next day supporter start date for all community members in this group will be reset back to the correct start time.

We appreciate all of your support very much and apologize for this issue - I have to do some investigation into how this change happened and if there was any warning.

Thanks everyone!

one day my dad brings home an old blade server from work and a centos distro. we set it up in the garage of our hot Florida house and he gave me his old perl programming books and showed me a few things. I was 12 or 13. that summer I moved my bed to the garage and barely slept as I learned everything I could. I've never looked back.

Reading some of the wk50 rants makes my blood run cold. brrrrr. They're terrifying.

While my story goes just like this.
Didn't know our manager(let's call him R) messaged us in our group chat that he won't make it to office for that day.
My account replied "Let's have moment of silence for those who left us. R, you will be missed. :'( Thank you for everything.".

I didn't notice the message until lunch time and my co-devs (with much back-slapping and laughing) told me I'm a gem. -_-
I just went to get some coffee, forgot to lock my unit and came back a murderer.
AND It was only my 2nd month on the job.

!rant

This week I started a new job.

My role changed from "Full-stack-web-developer-sysadmin-DBA-helpdesk-strange-person-fixing-stuff-around" to "Back-end Developer".

Moreover, it's a full remote position (so difficult to find in Italy!), so:
1. I can wake up 1.5 hours later;
2. I don't have to waste anymore 2 hours every fucking day driving in traffic to reach the workplace;
3. I can use my fucking bathroom;
4. I can drink hot tea in August without being criticized. 😀

I'm fucking happy!

I closed my work laptop yesterday around noon and dumped water on it. I was just so fed up.

Some spilled off onto my desk, though, so i gently moved (read: threw) the offending piece of plastic frustration onto the floor and carefully dried my desk.

On my way to the trash can, i stepped on the laptop. I stepped on it again on the way back, and later, on my way out the door.

I came in to get something half an hour later, and stepped on it again. It remained a stepping stone for the rest of the day, and accrued considerable foot traffic.

I spent the day drinking peach whiskey and playing with my children instead of working on reports. It was a good day.

Don't worry: my laptop still worked this morning, though I declined to.

The beauty of our job. Glorious day sat with my back in the sun, coding, in the summer house.

What my parents would have said back in the day if I told them I was a dev: "You listen to that annoying sound for a living?"

3 years, part time, $0.

I used to volunteer my time to an old text based rpg, handling code changes, sysadmin maintenance and the likes - back when those were a thing in the mid 2000's and money wasn't my issue in life - free for them, experience for me - win win!

Was something to get my hands dirty back in the day and contribute to an active community, but since then that place has shut down and been disbanded.

A while back a co-worker of mine fucked up by leaving some debug code and pushing to production.
He quickly repaired it, redeployed and everything was good again before the customer experienced any issues.

Later that day, management showed up by his desk to ask what happened, how it happened and stating that he was not "angry enough" about his fuck up, long after it has been repaired.

Up to this day i regret not asking in what unit of measurement we could determine if we were angry enough; decibels? gray hairs? grams of shit in my underwear?

So I used to be a chef, then I got married and decided my weekends and holidays were better spent than making food for ungrateful shit-wagglers, or getting screamed at in Lebanese by the exec Chef during dinner service at the end of a ten-hour shift, so I went back to school for Computer Engineering. I was so worried because I swore compulsively from day one of classes.
Little did I know way back then, the first programming language I ever learned was swearing.

The Indian state of Kerala uses Linux(Edubuntu) in all the schools. This incident happened back in 2010. I was not that proficient in Linux but I liked it for some reasons.

So one day, one of my IT teachers was handed the responsibility to edit a video. Being the School Student IT Convenor, he asked for my help. I'm no Video Editor but this thing was so easy that Openshot was enough.

While I was at it, he said: "Why does the govt. want us to use such unprofessional stuff? If it was Windows we could do everything very easily. Who is ever gonna use Linux in a professional environment? The govt. is spoiling the children by urging them to use Linux, Free Software and Open Source."

I couldn't argue that day. But today I so wish I could go back and roast him!

> Gained the skills to atleast land an internship
> Hyped asf
> Start applying for jobs
> Hyped asf
> Days go by without a response
> Hype starts dying
> Gets a REAL email delivered to my inbox asking to come in for an interview
> Hype levels regenerated
> Interview goes great and both founder and senior dev are fine with hiring me
> Founder needs to talk with co-founder first before giving the go and said he will get back to me in a day or two.
> The hype is too real
> 5 days go by without a reponse
> Hype levels: all time low
> Decide to follow up, founder said he left for a conference before the co-founder came back to talk about it and said he will get with her and let me know in a few days.
> The hypening is back
> A week goes by with no response
> I'm dead inside rn.

Back the mid 90s at secondary school, a friend came back from holiday with a Casio CMD-40 TV remote control watch. It was like magic, no one had never seen anything like it before.

We pranked our history teacher so badly, changing the channels, volume and turning the TV off while we were supposed to be watching some video on Henry VIII or something (no idea, too busy PMSL).

We'd pass the watch round the class to keep em guessing.

In the end, school replaced ALL the TVs and were seriously pissed off, to this day I believe they had no idea it was us!

My life in a nutshell.

I've been stuck in this timeless loop for 10 years, anyone that relates?

1. Set alarm before going to bed.
2. Alarm rings, I turn it off.
3. Wakes up late.
4. Work from 08 AM to 4 PM.
5. Take the train back home
6. Plan what to do for the rest of the day.
7. Come home, do everything except what was initially planned.
8. Watching time goes by while doing non-productive things.
9. I feel alone, watch porn to fill this void.
10. I get depressed and unhappy afterward
11. Set the alarm for the next day.
12. Repeat.

Leave work with two working monitors at my desk, come back the next day to one monitor and a missing HDMI cable. Find out marketing took it for a presentation, don't get it back for three weeks. Finally get it back for a day, become super happy to finally have both monitors again. Come back the next day and PM has stolen my HDMI again, no extra HDMI cables in entire office. Apparently HDMI cables are valued like gold around these parts.

Second day on the job, only one with no real degree in software development (did much stuff in free time, just finished school, got the job mainly because i knew people there)
So you can imagine that they were sceptic about me.

Chief executive whatever told me there is a problem with some JavaScript they can't fix cus there is no time and shit for that.
I was like ALL IN and said i could do this in a few mins.

Fixed it in 20 mins. Everyone was cheering. I was like "Well it was the right decision to not do my homework back in the days.." 😁

our HR made a survey about home office and how people think about coming back to office in the future. Shortly afterwards, our new CEO sent us an e-mail saying that he would like to see more employees in the office again soon. After all, it is paid for and must therefore be used. Of course, it's better for everyone to commute 2 hours to work every day, and last year home office worked well for everyone.
Personally, I can do without constantly sitting with my colleagues in a noisy office where 10 people are on the phone at the same time.

Bonus: In his opinion, software is better when it has more LOC.

Bonus2: Last working day for me is end of September. After that I start my new job with 43 days vacation per year :D

Let me tell you a story:
One upon a time poor lil PonySlaystation received a call. It was a nice guy who cried about his WordPress website had been hacked. So the clusterfuck began...

He gave me the login credentials for the hosting back-end, DB, FTP and CMS.
A hacked WP site was not new for me. It was probably the 6th of maybe 10 I had to do with.
What I didn't expect was the hosting back-end.
Imagine yourself back in 1999 when you tried to learn PHP and MySQL and all was so interesting and cool and you had infinite possibilities! Now forget all these great feelings and just take that ancient technology to 2018 and apply it to a PAID FUCKING HOSTING PROVIDER!
HOLY FUCKING ASSRAPE!
Wanna know what PHP version?
5.3.11, released the day before gomorrah was wiped.
The passwords? Stored in fucking plaintext. Shown right next to the table name and DB user name in the back-end. Same with FTP users.
EXCUSE ME, WHAT THE FUCK?!

I have to call Elon Musk and order some Boring Company Flame Throwers to get rid of this.

Long story long, I set up a new WP, changed all passwords and told the nice guy to get a decent hoster.

This is a rant I had 12 years ago but somehow forgot to post it.

In the middle of one of the biggest economy crash, I received an offer letter from a very big tech corp in NJ. This was my first job in 2009. I did all the hard part. 4-5 rounds of interviews, then graduated on time to waste no time and start my job.

On the first day, I went to HR finished orientation, got my laptop, started installing my regular tool chain. My manager was supposed to take me out for lunch and introduce me to the team. He came to my desk and said HR needs a copy of my passport as I am an immigrant and there is always additional paperwork.

HR tells me there was a very horrible mistake on their side and cannot hire immigrants for that role and need a green card/citizen. That was it. They apologized, took my ID card, laptop back and gave my passport back to me.

I took a yellow cab back to my dorm room which was I about to vacate in a week as I found a new apartment.

On that day I decided never to work for a financial organization again in my life.

So my company had a client who was a doctor. He wanted to build an iOS app and will come everyday in the office to scope the project. The company's boss was a greedy guy who always tried to keep his hands in client's pocket. And on some occasions he even went on to scold my colleagues working on the client's project in front of the client. The client was too volatile to freeze the scope which was resulting in us not getting anywhere. One day the boss came onto me in front of the client and showed like he is doing me a favor by giving me salary. The salary day was after 2 days. But I raged out. Next day I departed from home for office but felt so raged that I mailed my resignation to the boss. I wandered in the city aimlessly the whole day, and the boss gave me 5 calls to make up for it and come back. Then he went on to go legal, and I told him to do whatever he could. In the end it was all bluff.
I worked freelance for next few months, those were the best. Got paid quite nice and learned Angular 5 with Node.js. Best decision in my career..

Programmer Influencers piss me off to Jupiter and back.

The ones who talk about just being a programmer, and don't do normal tutorials and solve a real-world problem and demonstrate it.

"i iNcREaSeD mY pRoDuCTiViTy bY 90%. hErE's HoW"

"tOp 10 lAnGuAGeS yOu sHoUlD lEaRn iN 2023"

"dAy iN thE LiFe oF a SoFtWaRe EnGiNeEr"

"HeRE's hOw yOu cAn wRiTe bUg fReE cOdE"

PM: Ok Android, i've reviewed the latest build, you are good to release. Waiting on iOS's build to test.

Me: ... are we not holding all builds until we hear back from backend about that bug?, as we likely have to change something on our side?

PM: Which bug?

Me: ... the only one we discussed yesterday in the team meeting.

PM: How many customers is it affecting?

Me: that we know of, one ... the CEO of our company

PM: oh that one, yeah were not doing that anymore.

Me: WHAT? i've been waiting all day / night to hear back. Why are we not doing this?

PM: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ... Everything is too messy at the minute anyway, the release plan is changing every day. Need to keep it back in line.

Me: ... the plan has changed exactly once. We had a plan at the start of last week for the last release, we changed it YESTERDAY to include 2 critical bug fixes. The only issue with the plan changing is nobody telling us these aren't bugs anymore

PM: We can discuss tomorrow in the team meeting.

CEO: oh hey guys, yeah we pulled that bug fix. Its not really a bug, more like a missing feature. No way it will get done before xmas. Going to live with the way it works for now and fix it properly next year.

Me: Ok, fair enough, but we really need to be told these decisions.

CEO: sure, sorry, didn't think anyone was blocked by this. What was the blocker?

Me: ..... you asked me yesterday to get this bug fix in the build ... you asked for the final build to be made today so we can go through the app store review. As we all discussed yesterday, today is kind of the last day we can really do this.

CEO: ok, its late, we can discuss this tomorrow in the team meeting.

Me: ..... ..... ..... ..... sure

So a few years ago when I was getting started with programming, I had this idea to create "Steam but for mods". And just think about it - 13 and a half years old me which knew C# not even for a half of a year wanted to create a fairly sizable project. I wasn't even sure how while () or foreach () loops worked back in the day.

So I've made a post on a polish F1 Challenge '99-'02 game forum about this thing. The guy reached out to me and said: "Hey, I could help you out". This is where all started.
I've got in touch with him via Gadu-Gadu (a polish equivalent of ICQ). So I've sent him the source code... Packed in .ZIP file... By Zippyshare… And just think how BAD this code was. Like for instance, to save games data which you were adding they were stored in text files. The game name was stored in one .txt file. The directory in another. The .exe file name in yet another and so on. Back then I thought that was perfectly fine! I couldn't even make the game to start via this program, because I didn't know about Working Directory).

The guy didn't reply to me anymore.

Of course back then it wasn't embarrassing to me at all, but now when I think about it...

So i've spent the day:

a) Finding evidence (again) of product not doing their job, to send on to one of my managers. So we can again discuss why she's still here.

b) Explaining to my iOS developer that although all the devs are in agreement that 2 of them are not pulling their weight and shouldn't be here ... they will definitely still be here because management actually want to keep our multi-timezone setup as they see it as beneficial. We, do not.

c) Having a meeting with another manager, in a different department. (Backstory, a member of their team has had many complaints filed against them by various members of the building, including one from my team). To let them know that my employee felt like you ignored her concerns and complaints and are going to allow this person pass their probation without considering the implications.

I hope to actually find some time in the reminder of the day to actually achieve something, rather than just telling skidmarks that they are in fact skidmarks.

... but probably won't due to 3 hours of pointless back to back meetings, where we answer the same few questions every week.

I really do love being a tech lead. So refreshing.

I bought Minecraft back in 2007 or 8. It was $20 and gave me access to Minecraft forever, all updates included.

Today Microsoft closed all the old mojang accounts and I no longer have access to Minecraft. I could have migrated to a Microsoft account, but it will be a cold day in hell if I ever open one of those.

Sounds like law suit material. Class action anyone?

When told to completely change clients website design (back then, I kind of worked with them), I simply changed colors to a bit darker ones, flipped floats on sidebars (yap, two of them), changed font and increased bold size.

That was all I did and proudly took the full payment.

Oh, and it was done in 30 minutes, last day before we had a skype call for the demo :)

When you get to 12pm (lunch time) and you've already been in 7 back to back meetings and no longer know what you were going to actually attempt to do today.

Listen kids, don't become the senior dev, you'll never work an hour in your day again!

#iJustWantToFuckingCodeToday!

After hours of debugging and trying to find a solution online I got frustrated and started working on a different module, thinking will come back to it later. Next day when I Google the errors I find a similar question in stack overflow which might have a solution. Feeling delighted I check the question but no answers. So I see the date and the user who posted it, found out it was my colleague who was also debugging the same problem.

Last year in my computer class, i was sitting next to the girl i likED. One day we were doing a classwork and i asked her for the IP adress (everyone in the class was supposed to know what is it and how to check it). Five minutes later she came back telling me the adress (streets, numbers) of the school...
You were perfect until that moment...

#prank

New guy on the team, learning WPF.
He forgot to lock his computer when fetching coffee. I added a transform group in the main window and checked it in to Git. Locked the computer.

He comes back, furious at his computer for turning the application upside down.

Next two hours he was rebooting, flipping the screen, stressing, googling until I finally had to confess.

He uttered a strange sound of short burst of laughter concealed in a relief of not going insane.

It was a good day.
His pull request was rejected.

Today is the real fuckening at work. The worst part is, you are working your ass off and someone started bugging you constantly on chat and blaming it is effecting his "productivity" because tech team doesn't solve his problem.

I have 4 projects under me with doing day to day operations also. But yeah just few more months before I left this shit. I wanted to shout back, but tried to keep my head cool, though I have already kicked his face many times in my mind.

If you cannot help, at least stop being a dick and appreciate someone trying his best to solve problems.

Story from back in college..

It was the golden days of Flash Facebook applications. I have developed a very simple Rubik's cube solver in Acton Script 3. I was testing it out at the back seat of the class during the first day of Advanced OOP in Java module.
Our lecturer was going on and on about how awesome Java was and what all you can do with it. After a while he said "do you know this thing called Rubik's cube?" **explains what it is for a while** "Some people have even made software to solve Rubik's cube with Java. Can you make something like that?"

I was like "you mean like this one?" Pointing to the app on my laptop.

I’ve learned JavaScript in 2012, and after a few years of C++, C, Java and Python, I am seriously coming back to js. And oooh boi, things have changed. Back in the day 😅, jquery was the coolest lib ever, Nodejs was a new wild beast (v0.7.0). Kids these days don’t really how lucky they are.

1. high severity production incident was asked to look into at the end of the day.
2. needed fix in ui.
3. fixed and deployed in 1 hour.
4. issue remained. debugging began.
5. gave up at 1 AM and went to sleep.
6. woke up at 6 and after debugging for 2 hours, identified to be a back end issue.
7. worked with back end team for the fix, and 6 hours and 3 deployments later, it worked.
8. third party vendor reported they are still not receiving one parameter from us.
9. back end team realised they forgot to ask ui to send another parameter.
10. added the parameter in ui, redeployed ui.
11. build and deployment tool broke down. got it fixed. delay of 1.5 hours.
12. finally things are in place. total time 26 hours.

13. found half bottle of vodka, leftover from last weekend. *Priceless*

TL:DR: I'm terminally addicted to Tea.

I have been drinking tea twice every day since 6th grade. I'm almost 30 years old now.

One day I decided to quit tea altogether. And at 6 PM that same day, I started to lose color from my eyes. The whole world turned black and white.

At about 7:30 PM, severe depression kicked in and I started questioning why the hell I wanna keep on living and not end it all.

At that point I ran to the kitchen and made tea and drank it. 2 mins after that I started to see colors again and the depression went away.

It's kind of funny now that I look back at it.

Now that I am coding for money, the motivation to learn and build new things is gone. It has become all about money for me now. I get tired after coding all day and I can’t open my personal laptop to learn new things and do some more.. well.. coding.

Will I ever get that motivation back? Because I have some good ideas in my mind. Just can’t seem to start working on those ideas.

Four engineers and a broke down car

One day, mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, “I think a rod broke”.

The chemical engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas”.

The electrical engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system”.

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”

To which, the computer engineer replied, “I think we should all get out and then get back in”.

5 months ago I've decided to back to the programming after 8 years of Civil Engineer careere. Today I'm working at amazing tech startup (BaaS) and every day is an awesome experience, I think that it was one of the best decisions in my life.

Fuck edge and fuck ie

Its particularly funny when something works on IE...but not on edge. Go fucking figure.

Bing is ok ms...y'all should focus on that. Ie was semiok back in the day but your browser game is weak af b.

Like seriously

"Edge and ie are awesome"

Said no web developer ever

I just had the most surreal email discussion I think I've ever had...

I spent over two hours going back-and-forth over email with an enterprise DBA, trying to convince them I needed a primary key for a table. They created the table without a primary key (or any unique constraints... or indexes... but that's another discussion). I asked them to add one. Then had to justify why.

If you ever find yourself justifying why you need a primary key on a table in an RDBMS, that's the day you find yourself asking "is this real life?"

I want the last two hours of my life back. And a handful of Advil.

I just want to share my very first companion. Haha... This is btw my laptop way back 2011, used it to store highschool memories and silly stuff, if you know what I mean. This is the laptop that I first used the labrynth of directories such as A folder contains A to z Folder and again inside one of those contains A to z again lowered and upper. This is also my partner in coding C++ back in the days, I usually write code in paper and when back to school I used our lab's computer. Ohh and I also have my anime addiction started on this too! One time I discovered the side VGA and connected it to our big LCD screen but by the time I plugged it in, it produce explosive sounds, and my grandpa said that that lcd tv is only for 110v not for 220v. I learned the importance of voltages that day. I just went back and open it to backup my highschool memories and stuff to my external hdd. Ahhhhh memories.

JavaScript is the ugly girl freshman year with glasses and acne. Typescript is the beautiful women she became senior year and won prom queen. Hate on JavaScript all you want because it was a language written in 2 weeks but the new releases with es6 and now typescript are a far cry from the js people were written back in the day. The times they are a changing -Bob Dylan.

Since I were born in the year 2048 I were still young when it happen, we then had AIs to create our programs from very vague requirements and my father were researching how to resolve conflicting requirement when a mistake happen. The requirement on Asimov law were down prioritized!
The rest is history so to say, human race decimated in a day, I got sent back in time to hinder the development on AIs and so on, so if you had a bug in your AI it’s a good chance it’s because of me

!dev

> Be me
> Birthday today, spend entire day in hospitals due to my beloved's cancer (see previous rants)
> After an entire tiring day, decide to order Chinese food from restaurant in région.
> Call, difficult to make him understand my order although being a native Belgian... After 10 minutes order placed.
> Drive to restaurant to come to pick up
> "It's 121 in total"
> "Wait you said 98"
> " No sir I did not say that"
> Ok fine I'm hungry
> We don't use debit card here ?
> Comeagain.gif
> I got 115 on me in cash.
> "Sorry sir we can't give you a discount on the order" despite advertising the discount
> "Why not? You advertising says so"
> "We haven't changed that yet."
> "So what now?"
> Guy puts back box in the back
> Ok that's clear enough for me.

Walk away, fed up.

Now I am in another restaurant, ordered the same amount-ish and got cheaper off and got even a small beverage for free while waiting!

So, we have this ma'am at work that is the least direct person I know.

She can transform one sentence in a paragraph and the meetings/talks with her I usually end up in my "happy place" at the middle of her phrases and come back latter when she isn't finished and I'm like
"wtf is she talking about yet? Damn I went away again, shit... Just nod and smile..."

We had a meeting scheduled with her and some clients today... She missed it... MOST FUCKING PRODUCTIVE DAY EVER!

Thank you.

First day of vacation after 5 months of overtime... aaaaand I'm stuck in bed with a back issue.
Can't even code all the things I had in mind. Nice holidays incoming yay...
At least I have devrant.

Agreed on an offer from company X... Told them I'd sign the contract on my first working day, still a week away.

The offer had a lower salary than my previous job, I needed to relocate, and travel costs were not covered. It was a step back for me but I really needed a new job.

After the weekend I got an invitation for another interview... All went well and the perks were better than the offer made by company X.

Next day I had the second interview and they were very excited and offered me a contract.

Contract came in on friday, signed it and called company X that I'd like to reject the position after reconsidering my options...

Boy were they pissed off 😂

Why must typography be the bane of my existance

Back in the day when I was trying to design websites they always looked like shit

Now I know all these rules about typography, spacing, colors, contrast... and my websites still look like shit

Coworker: hi
Me: hi
... 3 hours later ...
C: hi
M: how can I help?
...
C: hi
M: HAVE YOU EVER USED COMMUNICATOR IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT IN FIRST MESSAGE, DONT WAIT FOR ME TO HI YOU BACK, WHAT THE HELL HOW MANY TIMES A DAY YOU NEED TO GREET ME

I accidentally started a reindex on a collection that had 14 million records in the middle of the day. Caused an outage in a major portion of our applications for about 3 hours. Worst thing was that once I pressed enter, I realized that it was for the production database, and not the staging database like I intended. I immediately went to go tell the dev ops lead, and he basically said, "whelp, let's just sit back and watch the world burn. Not much we can do about it"

There was this senior designer many years ago that used to come in late everyday, do fuckall except piss everyone off and then spend the majority of her day on the phone organising her social life. We all hated her, and she knew it. This one day she came in and resigned. As we were all Mac, we quickly invented a nickname for her which was "Type 11" in the old Mac days this error was "Unexpectedly Quit". The sad thing was she was best mates with the owners wife. Everyone in the office was questioned about their meanness and nasty vibes. She didn't quit it was just to get back at us for hating her. 12 years on, I'm self employed and she does marketing in a manufacturing co. We get on really well and she gives me good work. Moral: I have no fucking idea what life is about.

Maybe it's not exactly about programming, but sure damned it caused it.
Back in the day I managed to create a warcraft 3 map which played tetris. The orc peons ran down with faster and faster speeds, since it was a multiplayer, we used to play it with friends. We played it so much during the day, that all of the dreams were about orcs running and exploding once you finished your line. It was the only dream I remember having.

Leaving work with no bugs in the code! Everything works flawlessly!
Coming back the next day and all of a sudden nothing works and we need to spend the whole day getting it to work as well as it did yesterday.
There seems to be programming gnomes, ruining our code at nights!

Code fuckup day or what?! After two weeks where I wasn't on my project and a co-worker handled it, I came back to my project and reviewed what he had done so far.
Me: "I don't understand how this new code part here can work?"
Him: "Uhm, actually, it doesn't, somehow."
Me: "..."
Then he had checked in his stuff with spaces while the whole project is with tabs. And variables that were used in a different way, but still under the old name, now completely misleading. Bypassing existing infrastructure and defines with "just for this case" hacks. But the best was tracking higher level state by peeking into lower level data buffers, even pulling out their data definitions into global header files - instead of using proper states in the higher layer itself.
NOT! IN! MY! FUCKING! PROJECT!!!
So I spent the day cleaning up the shit to fight off software rot right in the beginning.

Forgot I had an interview at 9am the next day so I got super drunk the night before. Let me tell you, it's very difficult to pull back from smelling like whiskey and having to down three red bulls before you go in to keep awake.

Here's an issue I've been having with my PC for the past year;

*gets blue screen of death* (every 5 mins)
*takes out my second pair of ram cards, blue screening stops*
*waits a day, puts cards back in, has no more problems for 1-2 weeks*
*gets more blue screens*
*repeats*
If I leave the cards out, the system NEVER has any issues.
But, I can't play games smoothly on 4gb of ram.
Also, I can't afford new cards.

Back in the day, it was a kind of unwritten rule that you would ++ the ranter when you posted a comment on their rant... or was that just me?

My worst experience ... and best, was when the company I worked for sent me to teach OOAD to the faculty of the Mathematics and Computer Science department of a University in Pennsylvania. There I was, a guy with no degree teaching a group of PhD's the fundamentals of OOAD. Imposter Syndrome? You bet. Nervous? Yes. My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton, and when I picked up a cup of water on the first day, I had to put it back down because my hands were shaking so badly. I could handle a room full of developers, but for me, this was a whole other league. As it turned out, the professors had a blast, and gave me great reviews, but that first day of a five day class was a doozy. After that, I knew I could handle anything.

a random talk with a group of friends (back in the 90s)

A very close friend: How can I print a document horizontally? I tried to put the sheet well, but it wrinkles.

To this day, all my friends and I laugh every time we remember that

Tomorrow is my first day back after the holidays and I am so scared to open my inbox in the morning...

When I first started playing Red Alert back in the day. I remember thinking yup this is it.

What happened to the warm welcome that new users received back in the day? Now when someone posts their first rant people bash on details and give them no chance. I remember posting half-dumb rants, but no one gave me shit for that. It takes time to grow into a community, you can't just expect people to behave identically to the rest. Makes me a bit disappointed to be fair.

Sitting down all day doesn't do my back much good, so thought I'd look for an electric back massager. And there's plenty around - great! So I do the normal thing I do and take a look at the reviews...

...but the reviews are completely unhelpful, because about 5% are the usual complaining it turned up late, 5% are maybe talking about using it as a back massager, and the remaining 90% seem to be using it as a vibrator. Some are even just bloody ambiguous. I'm still not sure if "takes a bit of work to get it in the right spot, but it's very effective when it's there" is referring to someone with a sore back, or someone who's sexually frustrated. Who knows, maybe both.

First world problems eh.

Started a new job today.
They gave me a Mac.

Why in actual fuck is there no shortcut for the terminal? Took me half a day to get an iterm hotkey working only to find out it only works if you have a terminal open already.

Stupid apple. I want my mod+enter back.

For me, nothing is better than getting home after a long day, put a pizza in the oven, get a beer from the fridge and just sit back and do nothing for a little bit.

On today's episode of "Being the Company Git Guy":

"Good Day jallman112, can you ping me when you have a second? I'm having issues with merging our last branch back to MASTER in GIT. It's forcing me to resolve 400+ conflicts"

Sure. I'll get right back to you.

In a second.

Promise.

I work on a warehouse dev team. One day this past year, I was trying to deploy a new build to a QA server. Earlier that day I had been looking at the logs on the production server and had left the ssh session open. I had been working for less than a year out of college at this point and shouldn't have had access to deploy to the production server.

Long story short I deployed my QA build to the production server and saw there were problems connection to our production database. Then my heart dropped in my chest as I realized I had just brought down our production server.

I managed to get the server back up by rolling back in about 5 minutes and no one ever knew except some people on my team.

I felt horrible for the longest time. Later in the year another guy that joined my team that has about 20 years of experience under his belt did the exact same thing, but needed help rolling it back. Needless to say, that made me feel a lot better. 😂

Definitely the worst moment of my year.

You know what I god dam hate.

The likes of Microsoft, twitter and Github trying to change the English language and the definition of words based on your bad history.

How about, instead of banning words like Master branch and server slaves. You instead hand the language back to the English people and fix the spelling mistakes in all modern day programming languages!!!!

Talk about cultural appropriation!!

This day was awful. I just want to disappear. I want to stop existing, and come back in a few days. I had a day of pure depression and insecurity.

Don't bother replying or upvoting, that's just me writing this in the open for no reason.

Literally painful dev learning experience: Do your damn stretches and invest in a good chair.

Spent a couple of months of WFH working eight hours a day in an awful chair and started getting back pain out of the blue. Part of my first paycheck after that went into a decent office chair, in hindsight I should've spent more on it but goddamn what a relief it was not having to spend an entire day in the tiny, back-breaking piece of shit my landlord calls a desk chair.

Oh LinkedIn.

You were ok back in the day. But after the fifth recruiter in as many days sending a message about "fantastic opportunities for the senior codings with the great salary in a relocation budget friendly area", and the only other messages asking me to celebrate someone's "work anniversary", it may be time to say goodbye.

!Dev

So Malaysia also famous for police brutality against the non Muslim or non Malays. I recently tweet about the more cases of police brutality will increase day by day. A Malay man replied it is a part of duty of the police to do so. This really confused me. The last time I checked we as a citizens have the right to sue the police if they brutally force us to do anything. And also last time I checked the policemen in my country, just raped a Mongolian girl who is underage and the high court let them go freely. The Malay man replied to me that quite "YOU ARE OUT OF CONTEXT! GO BACK TO CHINA!" Well personally, my ancestors weren't from China , I will go back to Mongolia if I have a choice.

I kinda started programming back in the day, by breaking 2 school servers using a simple batch "virus"... it effectively opened tons of porn videos, threw the mouse cursor to the top right corner of the screen and shut down the PC after 15 seconds.
I masked the file and made sure it looked like internet explorer (since my school, back in the day, didn't use chrome and didn't allow the installation of chrome)
It was meant to troll my friend but all computers shared files with each other which meant even the private PC's of my teachers got my "virus"
Eventually it landed in the startup folder and messed everything up. I got snitched out, and I had to fix it
(I literally just wrote another batch file to delete my so called virus... because of the 15 seconds time limit I had)

Today was a good day.

I was told to use in-house BitBucket runners for the pipelines. Turns out, they are LinuxShellRunners and do not support docker/containers.

I found a way to set up contained, set up all the dependencies and successfully run my CI tasks using dagger.io (w/o direct access to the runner -- only through CI definition yaml and Job logs in the BitBucket console).

Turns out, my endeavour triggered some alerts for the Infra folks.

I don't care. I'm OOO today. And I hacked their runners to do what I wanted them to do (but they weren't supposed to do any of it). All that w/o access to the runners themselves.

It was a good day :)))))
Now I'll pat myself on my back and go get a nice cup of tea for my EOD :)

Woops! I was debugging a particularly snarky issue in Production the other day. This morning I realized about 60 minutes into my new coding I hadn't changed my profile back. I was testing form submissions on a live customer's site.

My productivity reduces by almost half after lunch and reduces to 10% the day I leave headphones at home. It is only after tea break in the afternoon that slowly I start getting back on track again

A friend of my mom asks me transfer some files from her hard disk to her pendrive because I am supposedly *good with computers*.

As an obedient son, I go to her house to do the needful.

I switch on the laptop and plug both right in. At this point, I am wondering if this really my life is for.

Lost in my thoughts, I accidentally format her hard disk. Now I freak out. Seeing no possible way out, I remove both and say her work is done.

I quickly leave the house and never look back. To this day, I have never gone back to her house.

I made a friend this week through work

She's called Miriam

I know we're friends because we talk every day

5 times a day

Because she keeps calling

Every time she asks for my CEO, I tell her he won't be in until after Christmas but sure enough she calls back an hour and a half later, asking for the same person

But the weirdest part is she's calling from a legitimate, large company. It's not a cold call. So, why?

If anyone works at Proventa, tell Miriam to stop.

Please?

There needs to be a class in schools before college called: "how to use a search engine" (HTUASE)

This alone would save countless frustration with people who won't have an f-ing clue and post on professional forums dumbshit questions. I often take the time to even provide the search engine keywords I use in an effort to get these people to think for themselves. I fully expect someone to respond back some day and say: "How you google dog?"

On the -2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

offfffline servers,
NO notifications,
one, lousy fucking dayyyyyy
(... on the first day back to workkkkkkk..innnggg...)

Database corrup-ted,
users' fucking pissed....
and a partridge in a pear tree!

$merryXmas[-1]

When your PM or boss says they used to program back in the day in FORTRAN and haven't done shit since.

I usually work in a two person team on a hybrid application we are developing, using AngularJS and node.

This normally works okay, because he handles the back end (he's been on the project since January last year, I joined in August as a placement student), and I handle the front end.

However, due to Christmas holidays and such, he's ended up taking an entire month off, and won't be back until the end of January.

I've dabbled in back end before, some routes and that for SQL queries, but nothing serious.

Last Tuesday our core service for the application that needs to be updated in real time broke and pissed off the API provider because we were hammering them with requests.

My first day on back end and this happened. I didn't really know what to do, and had to call my teammate to ask what to do. I essentially just restarted things, and left them as is, until I could find a solution.

From there, I had to mock the operation of the service (which is a complex enough beast) to figure out the problem, and find a fix. Our app more or less hinges on this service, so if it messes up, it's the end times.
All of this while flying on what I've interpreted because the guy that's on holidays was the only guy that knows more about this project than I do.

To make things worse, the clients are being very particular because they're waiting on investments and don't have money to pay our company. So, if they're paying for 5 days work, they're going to put in 5 days of project development. The problem is that their interpretation of 5 days of project development has not changed from when there were two people on this project.

There are 40 tickets in this sprint (ends Friday) and 35 of them are assigned to me. Granted, not all of those take a day to do, but estimates don't mean anything, I guess.

Ganbarimasu.

I love the idea of automating day to day activities in hacky ways (e.g. the beginning of back to the future).

A few years back, I was a newly hired developer visiting the corporate HQ in NYC. We went to lunch, where the execs ordered a round of drinks.

I commented that drinking during the work day was an odd practice in my experience. The CEO jokingly explained how it made going home to his wife at the end of the day easier (or something to that effect). “You know what I mean?”

To which I reply (with no hint of irony): “No… My life loves me.”

😎

This is kind of personal but wait for the conclusion.

I'm having bad migraines. I used to have them like 10 years ago and recently they came back. The only way to stop an attack is to lie down in a dark room for a few hours and then it's back the next day. CT scan shows nothing. My neurologist shrugged and prescribed some meds. They sometimes take the pain from 8 to 6 on a 0-10 scale, sometimes they do nothing. I stopped working on the weekends and it got better, no more migraines on Saturday morning. So I took few weeks of time off and not a single migraine until the last day.

My shrink said I'm allergic to work.

my day went to shit immediately... long night, got to sleep at 4AM, poked awake at 8AM, "hey wake up we gotta go to a town 200 miles away, dress like you're rich, we gotta go find a place to live for my new job" ugh, fine, got another 30 minutes or so of sleep in the car. We get there, the guy shows us a place that I physically can't fully stand up in and is like 600-some square feet for $750/month. Fuck that. We get halfway back home, "hey i forgot, we just finished renovating a new unit, come look!" goddammit gotta go BACK to the city... get there, it's a 2-floor 1200 square foot place for $675, a hell of a lot better. We leave to go see relatives in town, get a call, "hey hurry home your grandfather's hallucinating" we get there before an ambulance (we traveled 120 miles in less time than an ambulance took to drive 50 miles...) and my grandfather's hauled (by us, as the ambulance refuses to take him to the right hospital, they want to take him OUT OF STATE in an ambulance and he's not actively dying) to the VA in the city we were just in... he's immediately screened and his dementia has progressed to the point he needs to be in a nursing home in 12 hours somehow. I have no idea either. Anyways, we're about 3/4 of the way back home and it's now 2:40AM. My dad's been driving for 18 hours pretty much straight. I'm still awake, he's wired (the worst possible state to be in while driving) and family drama has happened as family members are already trying to take the land my grandpa lived on AND HE'S LITERALLY ONLY BEEN GONE FOR 6 HOURS.

so how was your day?

Sometimes I wonder how software development in (bigger) teams worked in the 90s.

Take the first Pokémon games for example. It was the mid-90s and the final product would be Assembler code that goes onto a cartridge with limited space.

I believe version control systems didn't really exist back then (Git & Mercurial: 2005, SVN: 2004). So probably people took backups of the chunks of code they worked on, copied around a stitched-together code, threw everything together at the end of the day, etc. etc. ...

Does anyone here know if there is some kind of documentary about that topic or did anyone here experience that first-hand?

It would be really interesting to see how that stuff worked back then 😊

Spent the whole day debugging two bugs in libraries only to notice that they were already fixed upstream FUCKING MONTHS AGO WITHOUT A NEW VERSION PUBLISHED GIVE ME BACK MY TIME FFS

Oldschool ranters from 2005 (if you're even still here), how was DevRant back in the day? What was the differences/similarities? Was it better/worse? How did you discover DevRant (before you googled it)?

Back in the day, I worked side by side with a designer that actually wanted to build things together, instead of having me answer the dreadful "can we build this?" question and him singlehandedly knowing what's best for the product, the client, the user, figuring out the UI/UX etc.

Fucking hell mates, for me reading the rants is more addictive than fucking 9gag was back in the day :D

My Chromebook Pixel 2015 died yesterday. *sniff* I really liked the build quality and using crouton for Linux.

My 2nd work laptop ever was a IBM Thinkpad and I really liked that back in the day.

Now I'm looking at the Thinkpad 25th anniversary edition. Anyone have one? Thoughts?

Worst interview has to be for a web agency where the boss was clearly not ready to take anyone on and almost felt desperate. He got me in for a trial day working on something for their benefit (pretty sure that's illegal) with no direction on what wad to be done other than some hand sketched drawings and access to FTP. They put me on the worst machine possible which kept crashing every 5 mins which an hour in decided to cut the internet and wouldnt come back on so i walked...

Two day off from the deadline, stressed asf- haven't really slept in two days and client is becoming impatient... My back hurt.

Applyed for internship for an American company in Japan. Email said I will interview with 3 people at most, 1h each, back to back, and everything will be in English.
But on the day they said I will interview with 4 people, and everything was in Japanese.
They said they will tell me the results within 2 weeks, but got rejected after 3 weeks.

Take responsibility for what you say guys...

Not only dev related but remember to constantly backup your important info of your Hard disk constantly... specially if those disk have not only the lastest code you are have been working on but photos of you and high school friends back in the day when the original Iphone was just released that you havent properly printed yet.
I think that is one of the nearest thing I can think of that I regret lately aside from simple being "my life" in itself

It was time of my grade 11 result.
When result was out, I asked my school coordinator about the number of students failed and he replied it was non of my business. I got back home, coded a script in python to fetch the result of 233 students and pass it to text a file. Printed it and gave it to the coordinator the next day, he was like "Ok, I'll tell computer science teacher to give you full marks on practicals"

This temporary hack will just temporarily fix this problem. We will come back and actually fix the problem later.

We never come back to fix it later. This shitty hack I made in less than a day that fixed the problem for the day "fixed" the problem for the next year.

Lesson learned that temporary structures and side projects will be there forever. Make them right the first time.

I proposed agile training to my company.
I choose a well known coach around here, with good references.

First 3 days were great. After a month he came back for another session and check progress.

This time, he literally fell asleep during the workshop. Several times. He would ask questions, sit down and quietly fall asleep while waiting for our answers.

We were astonished and embarrassed.

He apparently had a very hard working period and could not cope with traveling and working so much. He apologized some day afterwards and didn't charge us for the day.

He never came back. The team didn't take it very well and my reputation was compromised, as well as trust in the methodology I think.

I kept saying that everybody can have a bad day, but it was probably just to defend myself and my fucking stupid idea of changing the world.

A real fucking shame. Still I can't believe when I remember this.

Can someone explain to me what sort of recruitments logic is this?

Me after giving interview: so when can i expect to get a call back about my results?

Recruiter: within a day or two. Definitely before X.

A few weeks after X...

Me: so, any update?
Recruiter: yes. Are you available now for the next round?

Me: .... Couldn't you have said that earlier???!! (in my mind)

Only 25 days left to get my Fanatic gold badge in stackoverflow and my browser decides to open up the new window instead of the old one with all my pinned tabs in it... So I forget to log into stack overflow for a day resulting in me going back to 99 days of everyday visiting the site until I get my Fanatic badge... I feel so fucking depressed FML

They fucking created a VM from the wrong machine even though I specifically told them the IP of the correct one over a month ago....

So I guess first day back from vacation, I'm doing a lot of yelling at people that aren't in...

Don't forget to give the developers the opportunity to innovate. Nobody wants to sit and type out the same structures day after day. That's not why we got into this job. We like solving problems. In my current team we set aside some time every sprint to spend on individual innovation. Super useful as it gives us the chance to break out from the standard chugging of the backlog and spend some time trying to solve some of the trickier problems and bringing improvements back to the product that we discovered by messing around with stuff. If you are reading this and you are in charge of a development team, try this out for a sprint or 2.

Spending hours trying to figure out why the stack just won't work with SSL. Nearly lost my mind as we started feeling dumber than ever. I really started to doubt my skills after it did not even work with the most minimal nginx site config I could imagine.
The next day I discovered that we missed the 443 port mapping in the docker-compose file...it only had port 80 mapped.

Yup, stepping back from a problem and getting some sleep is really worth it sometimes.

There is a true story at my workplace.
A Linux administrator installing putty on its first day of work. On fedora Linux. Alright maybe normally using Windows. The next thing he had done was amazing.

He changed the UID in passwd file of root and pushed it to all servers......

Nobody could fix it anymore because even root didn't had rights to edit passwd. Next day he was asked not to come back

Today my therapist suggested I work towards one day getting back the will and energy to start coding side projects, just for the fun of it.

That was a long, long time since I had the ability to do. Maybe I can get back to feeling that much in control that I can let work go for a day or two each week and just... Have fun coding. What a mind-boggling thought.

We had a system in the office were just pressed 0 on the keyboard to go back one step in the program. My kast day at the worn I removed all 0 keys from all the keyboards in the offfice and hid them.

In this era, information is much more precious than money itself.

I'm not saying that information wasn't as important back in the days. It's just, at present gathering information is much easier than it ever was!! Especially on people who spend more time on mobiles phones and computers.

Formally stated, Newton's third law is: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. As we're consuming information continuously, going through so many webpages, laughing at menes that are relatable and using apps that we need to perform day to day task. We're also providing information that we don't realize doing. This adds up to determining out individual personality.

One can never be too careful to prevent all these, but we can still minimize the damage.

Last day of agile project i get asked for confirmation that the alpha system can handle 100000 records. We have had no load testing requests only feature pushes every sprint.

I see the back-end guys have used EF in a search function that eager joins a bunch of tables. Then the results get sorted and filtered in application code. It works fine for a few hundred records but the customer will do about 100k new records a year.

Yeah this won’t meet requirements. I wish they asked for some load testing before the last day. They aren’t going to like that one person can do a search every 15 seconds by the end of the year when I tell them. FML

its day 4 of updating documentation and consolidating data.

The webclient has broken on average 4 times a day.

The database took 20+ seconds on updating a password entry.

I explained to my boss the real cost of interrupting my attention with these pauses. I figure it's caused my productivity to go from record high last week to being literally losing about 4 hours a day lost, plus extra time in having to go back through and verify things worked.

The technicians and developers who are working on fixing the database system are apparently quitting left right and center; their company acquired it awhile back, so they don't actually have native developers on it. Yet they still are pushing out new integration features rather than fixing anything.

Yesterday, one of the other people on the documentation project lost half a days work due to the angular updating the local cache, but it never reaching the backend. He came back from lunch, reopened his browser, and all his work was gone. (at least thats what we think happened). So we are hard resetting the program every 10 minutes or so just to make sure it is updating the backend.

The good news is that when it is done, we theoretically will be able to use this to cut back onboarding time and update times by about half, and it'll mean our new nano-server deployment project should be able to spin out with standards that can be referenced properly by everyone, not just the guy with the powershell script that he tinkered with for a particular project and never told anyone else what he did.

Theoretically.

My coWorker cried at her desk all day because of a post on Facebook. Apparently her aunt was trying was finding a new home for her grandma's dog.

(Don't Ask!)

Often times I have to share the burden of 'Dr. Phillin' her just so I can work done. I tell my other coWorker this so he knows her fragile mental state and I get this back in Slack.

I work remotely from the rest of my team and I just came back from a 1 week vacation. Logged in this morning and no one else was online...

My first thought was WTF happened... did something blow up do bad they all gelot fired???

Turns out today is a holiday for them. So now I've a whole day of peace and quiet to figure out what the hell in supposed to be doing again.

First rant here..

So earlier this week, on a php Laravel project, I created a set of nice new features.

The code is tested, locally all fine, I push to Github, circleCi kicks in and double checks myself, still everything green. (Just for a not, its a private project so only I work on it.)

I go ahead and merge, deploy to staging and continue on my next ticket, which is a very small one.

I call it the day, next day I pick back up where I left, test locally, all green, push... then circleCi says no.

I spend 2 days debugging, trying to figure out what is wrong without advance. I just push develop branch again, guess what also failing.

I leave it for the day as I already spend enough time on it.

This morning, I simply do a composer update, push and everything miraculously starts working.. even if there were no changes in the working branches.

Im so mad right now, and this is going in my "try this before you debug a ci" book..

This hurricane fucking sucks. My power was out nearly all day today. It went out at 6ish this morning, and didn't come back on until 4-5ish in the afternoon.

I was coding on my laptop, trying to reproduce the sampling procedures we talked about in AP stats (hoping that I'd better understand the material if I could connect it to stuff I was doing in another class), and there was a piece of syntax I had forgotten over the summer, and it irritated the hell out of me that I couldn't just Google the answer.

Eventually I just drove to a Starbucks and hung out there for about an hour or two till the power came back on. I was terrified the power would just go out again before I got back home.

Spending all day sitting in a chair takes its toll on my back. Lumbar and intra-scapular areas are ssssoooooo sore that I can't even stretch them out properly any more (I'm quite a flexible person).

Thanks to my closest shopping centre for this double foam-ball. It's the best investment I've made in years and it only cost me 4€.

Whenever I lay and roll on it slowly I usually drift into sleep out of pleasure.

It's not an ad or anything, just a recommendation to my fellow IT guys and gals suffering back pains from sitting all day long.

Since I've started writing in clojurescript a 1.5 yrs ago, I can barely look at JavaScript.
I started to realise how ugly it is.
Seriously waiting to the day browsers will work with clojurescript out of the box, without the need to compile.

The language is so clean, clear, easy and data oriented, I find it hard to go back to js.
Also, the docs are much better.

Long live concurrency !

In the before times of 2019, one of the guys in the office had this habit of sucking his teeth after lunch.

I can hardly describe it. Imagine making kissy sounds but with your tongue and teeth. Did this almost every day from 1-2.

Probably happened every 1-2 minutes. So just long enough to get back into the swing and boom *thick*.

I just invested in some really nice headphones eventually.

Started work at 05:00 to catch a flight, just finished work now (20:00)

Tomorrow morning i have to be up at 03:30 to catch a flight back, my boss has also booked me in with a all day meeting with our largest client tomorrow so won't be leaving the office until 18:00.

Atleast im going to the midnight viewing of Capt. America tomorrow (if I'm awake)

A tale of silos, pivots, and mismanagement.

Background: Our consultancy has been working with this client for over a year now. It started with some of our back-end devs working on the API.

We are in Canada. The client is located in the US. There are two other teams in Canada. The client has an overseas company contracted to do the front-end of the app. And at the time we started, there was a 'UX consultancy' also in the US.

I joined the project several months in to replace the then-defunct UX company. I was the only UX consultant on the project at that time. I was also to build out a functional front-end 'prototype' (Vue/Scss) ahead of the other teams so that we could begin tying the fractured arms of the product together.

At this point there was a partial spec for the back-end, a somewhat architected API, a loose idea of a basic front-end, and a smattering of ideas, concepts, sketches, and horrific wireframes scattered about various places online.

At this point we had:
One back-end
One front-end
One functional prototype
One back-end Jira board
One front-end Jira board
No task-management for UX

You might get where this is going...

None of the teams had shared meetings. None of the team leads spoke to each other. Each team had their own terms, their own trajectory, and their own goals.

Just as our team started pushing for more alignment, and we began having shared meetings, the client decided to pivot the product in another direction.

Now we had:
One back-end
One original front-end
One first-pivot front-end
Two functional prototypes
One front-end Jira board
One back-end Jira board

No worries. We're professionals. We do this all the time. We rolled with it and we shifted focus to a new direction, with the same goals in mind internally to keep things aligned and moving along.

Slowly, the client hired managers to start leading everything in the same direction. Things started to look up. The back-end team and the product and UX teams started aligning goals and working toward the same objectives.

Then the client shifted directions again. This time bigger. More 'verticals'. I was to leave the previous 'prototypes' behind, and feature-freeze them to work on the new direction.

One back-end
One conceptual 'new' back-end
One original front-end
One first-pivot front-end
One 'all verticals' front-end
One functional prototype
One back-end Jira board
One front-end Jira board
One product Jira board
One UX Jira board

Meanwhile, the back-end team, the front-end team overseas, all kept moving in the previously agreed-upon direction.

At this stage, probably 6 months in, the 'prototypes' were much less proper 'prototypes' but actually just full apps (with a stubbed back-end since I was never given permission or support to access the actual back-end).

The state of things today:
Back to one back-end
One original front-end
One first-pivot front-end
One 'all verticals' front-end
One 'working' front-end
One 'QA' front-end
One 'demo' front-end
One functional prototype
One back-end Jira board
Two front-end Jira boards
One current product Jira board
One future product Jira board
One current UX Jira board
One future UX Jira board
One QA Jira board

I report to approximately 4 people remotely (depending on the task or the week).

There are three representatives from 'product' who dictate features and priorities (they often do not align).

I still maintain the 'prototype' to this day. The front-end team does not have access to the code of this 'prototype' (the clients' request). The client's QA team does not test against the 'prototype'.

The demos of the front-end version of the product include peanut-gallery design-by-committee 'bug call-outs', feature requests, and scope creep by attendees in the dozens from all manner of teams and directors.

I would not consider myself an overachiever by any means, but I must say, I'm quite satisfied with my contributions this year at the new (relatively speaking) job. I got to go back to writing code almost every day, all day, and that sure as hell beats being in meetings all the goddamn time.

in my country, we will be having a 2 day Muslim holiday. I have mapped out all the programming tasks I need to attend to during those days and thinking of staying back at the office but my gf is thinking of coming over. this will mean not achieving all the tasks which is a problem as I Dont know when next such holiday will be.

how best do I tell her not to come?

In the mood of doing nothing because I have so much shit going on. Anyone knows that feeling?

Also so many (cool) projects I would like to do but no motivation to start anything... I have no real reason to... I’m just waiting for motivation to come back one day - but it has been a long time.. :(

!dev

But i like sharing.

So i hated stout. But recently i had a kid and my partners parents are from England. Back in the day，breastfeeding mums used to drink light stout， because the yeast helped to boost milk production.

Well i buy beer every week and run out of it by wednesday. So at my disgust i started drinking stout.

Now my brestfeeding partner complains coz i drink all her beer ;)

Those of you who did some kind of programming class in highschool, did they teach you about git?

I was talking to a friend the other day and we both said the one thing we wish we knew back then was git. Both us had projects go completely missing or fubar at T-10 seconds. I don't recall even knowing that version control was a thing

Back in the day, our computer at home was very slow and sometimes hangs. My siblings have always seen me kicking it out of frustration. Thank goodness for these fast computers these days. I think I am not that violent anymore.

Me: Wrote and unit testing code for a user story.

Day of a Merge
PO: We need to back out the code you wrote. We have not gotten approval from legal.

Me: Uhhh well it's not going live for 4 weeks still and not harming anything but if you insist, ok.....

2 Days Later
PO: Ok legal approved the changes can you put that back in?

Me: 😡🖕🏻

Hello,
I just quit my job at a big market research company. It was disturbing how much processes there depended on excel and obscure visual basic scripts.

They load data from a database, do typical database tasks with excel and upload it back into the database.

PhDs run complex statical computations through an excel interface that passes the request to R.

Instead of an hour Python they execute stupid tasks with excel by hand. Day after day, month after month.

WHY? My colleagues were not dumb but instead of learning SQL and some python they build insane excel tables.

Maybe it's time pressure. But this excel insanity costs much more time in the end.

Finally, I have a night free of work today. It is the first time this month. I'm so happy to have some time to read and rest.

Life can be insane.

Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.

Erm not sure if this qualifies. Not so long ago I was tackled with having to read a device memory at a very high address in 32-bit linux process (kernel is 64). The 32-bit mmap is unfortunately limited to range of protected mode PAE so it just wouldnt reach that high. So! I wrote my own syscall in assembly that would switch to long mode first so I could use long registers and then I got my page and switched back :)
In retrospective not a big deal, but it made me really happy for the rest of the day when I saw that address in pmap :)

Took a day off and came back to find my team and I were moved from frontend to backend (which I always wanted to be).

Manager says we get to learn Java, Mongodb and even Hadoop.

I am so so excited.

But the only little hold back is, there is limited support for Java in sublime text and I should instead use eclipse. I had dozens of shortcuts customised with all those beautiful themes in sublime, but eclipse takes the fun out of coding(no offense to eclipse lovers).

Met a total stranger last Sunday,helped him with the Grocery since he was new to the city.
Next day,I see him in "People you may know" on LinkedIn.Neither of us did a search on each other's name.
We just exchanged numbers since he is from my place back in India.Extremely creepy.

Task: Deploy MinIO in k8s cluster
Me: deploys the first docker image found on google: bitnami/minio
MinIO: starts

Me: log in
MinIO: Fuck you! There's a cryptic error: Expected element type <Error> but have <HTML>

Me: spends half a day trying out different vendors, different versions, different environments (works on local BTW)

Me: got tired, restored the manifest to what it was at the beginning. Gave it the last try before signing off

MinIO: works 100%

wtf... So switching it back and forth fixed the problem, whatever it was. Oh well, yet another day.

The sound of my back and shoulders (left shoulder mostly) cracking as I do a half downward dog stretch after sitting in the worst possible posture all day is both terrifying and satisfying......

When the meeting organizer gets to the end and says "I'll give you back 20 minutes of your day". 🤬
No sir, plonking a meeting in my calendar doesn't mean you now own an hour of my day. No no no. You are not being a saint giving me back time. The truth is you just took 40 minutes of my time! 40 minutes I can't get back. It's gone. Forever.
Please be respectful of that next time you're planning a pointless meeting

Have you ever been so frustrated with your Tester that you go from wishing everyone "Have a nice day" to "How about a high five on your with a spirit bomb" in exactly 2.9 seconds?

QA - Just give this bug to the frontend guy already, he'll figure out if it is from back end, design, front end or business requirement.

So it's 2018, I thought let's start working with Android Studio on Ubuntu. [Due to some guy who posted his CPU usage on a very heated rant of same issue]
I realized it's fucking mess(/shit) and you dare not keep any browser open in back/fore-ground. Now, my entire system is stuck.
Ruined the first day man.

Kids these days and their ultrasonic scalpels. Back in _my_ day, we were doing sugreries with _real_ scalpels made of bare metal. Who cares that ultrasonic ones are way less invasive and it heals faster! If you’re using an ultrasonic scalpel, you’re not even a real surgeon. What’s next? Computer does a surgery for you while you wiggling around the controllers? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS ALREADY BEING DONE!? What happened to this country!

I have a confession: I produced a shit ton of wacky code...

The business guy in my team is super fucking bitchy about deploying to prod, while my codebase is a total mess. I could refactor it to use a much cleaner module, but I had to do it because we're running out of time. I spent half a day trying to refactor while failing miserably.

//FIXME: I will come back... or not.

I upgraded a Linux server one time and data that was serialized in yaml stopped being parsed properly.

It turns out the libyaml people decided to change how hashes were handled, which made any previous hashes come back as blank.

A whole database of valid data in dev was coming back invalid in prod. It was maddening.

It took a day to figure out the problem and how to update the data to the new format in rails.

I now serialize in json.

Why the hell the mutant-frankenstein language known as Javascript even exists?

Why back in the day couldn't they use an existing language's syntax for interacting with the web, Like Android did with Java?

Don't get me wrong, I like using js. But it has too many weird inconsistent parts which feel very quirky. Even more than Python.

Had my first and second stage interviews with a company all in the space of a few days.

Literally the day after the second interview, I got an email back saying I impressed them and they'll get back to me with the details of the next stage of the process soon (whether that's another interview or something else I don't know).

That was 2 weeks ago. Waiting and not knowing is the worst thing ever!!

They were fucking not. I used to get shouted at because I spend too much time infront of a computer. But funny enough everything was fine as soon as I started making more money than my parents while still being in high school. Now they take credit for my success but back in the day I needed to fight with them in order to get few hours of pc time.

Take a day off, entire system goes down. Come in the next day: "We need to fix this".

12 hours later we get the system back up and a significant design flaw is now known which needs to be fixed on Monday.

It feels good to have the bandaid in place.

Don't use cursors kids, unless you absolutely have to.

Enjoy the little things in life for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things

A lot has changed over the last month for me in my life.

The cases are rising crazily now. Thanks to the stupid govt's immature and unplanned lockdown.

Now while over 20k+ cases are being reported every single day, there is no sign or plan to contain it properly.

Two weeks ago, I had a mental breakdown over the uncertainty in future plans ( was planning to get a job in remote company and ditch current job to go back home in this grave situation but it has been delayed ) and burnout from living almost same routine since mid-March. I just wanted to go back to my home state where I will feel safe even if I get infected somehow.

Me and my friends have vacated our rented apartment last weekend. I'm now at the airport to leave this city and in less than 8 hrs, I will be back to my home where I will stay 14 days in quarantine before I can go out again.

I'm glad to have a job which I can "work from home". But more importantly, I'm glad to go back to my place which I can truly call my home. 🏠♥️

For a long time I could not understand how do people put up with watching ads in Android apps. Then it dawned upon me: they grew up like this and they never had a proper classic old-school desktop experience. Back in the day it was unimaginable to have intrusive ads. I will never put up with intrusive ads. I despise it

Now even developer tools have ads, like Docker or NPM

wait, is @-red gone now too?? :o How come my profile score did not suffer a major impact... Wasn't he the one flooding us with ++s back in the day?

Third official day back in the office today... And I'm alone in the devOps room

That lasted long \o/

Another story just brought back a flood of memories of dialing into a BBS over a 9600 baud modem, and using Blue Wave to post messages on Fidonet. Back in the day when NCSA Mosaic was the standard for browsers, the 40MB HDD was king, and 1MB was a lot of memory. Wow. OMG, and before that, I had a Commodore 64 running GEOS. I'm really feeling old now.

Going from back-end to full-stack is the worst mistake I ever made. Let's say that full-stack is full of half-assed developers who can't write decent UI so if you do well in that department they (management) won't let you touch back-end again. Now all I do is pushing pixels all day. Time for a new job.

First day back at my old workplace and the guy who replaced me as storeman is going to put me in an early grave...

Literally all of the work I put in over the past year and a bit is gone...

Welp... Let's hope I can get a higher up position soon so I can fix this shit heap .-.

I'm stuck.

Quitting smoking/scrolling/youtube/other unhealthy coping mechanisms, taking my prescriptions and exercising every day made my mind free — now it's unobstructed, clear and not hindered in any way.

The problem is, without constant coping, my memory turned into a minefield. I can't think freely, as I constantly stumble upon trauma after trauma that make my heart physically hurt.

With clear mind, I now clearly see what used to lurk in shadows, and I'm terrified of it. I won't go back to smoking and watching youtube ten hours a day.

What should I do?

Two interns who were handed content population tasks complained “See, we’re going to content pop for the rest of our lives here”.

Two of us developers took back the job and finished it in half a day — what “rest of your lives” do you need to compete a simple job? Pffftt.

Spoilt kids nowadays need to learn how to walk first before try to fly.

ah stackoverflow , the good old get downvoted and voted to close with no explanation why

at least back in the day I'd at least get told why while they did that

I was once working on a deep neural network project(few years back when deep learning was just gaining momentum) and my project guide(alloted by the college) told me that this technology is useless and will be obsolete in near future. I don't know why he said that. Till this day I think what was the reason behind him saying that.

Now watching so much research done in this field, he might be realizing how much wrong he was.

Windows - what the fuck! I cannot understand why people WANT to use this - its' buggy, unstable and the user-experience leaves me with the same feeling as when i step on a dog turd barefoot.

I know Linux has been a hard road for many, even a few years back I would do an update and my day would be lost to fixing it. But it's literally made by people in their spare time! Ultra-corp Microsoft fuck it up all the time, with thousands of full time employees!

Gah. Come back steve jobs - I need a hug. (please wear your turtleneck)

I use google auth for 2FA. Had to factory reset my phone for some reason. Meanwhile, github one day forced me to change my password. So I used the back up recovery code to change the password and then logged out. I was in a hurry and actually forgot to set up the new 2FA. But hey I have got the recovery codes right.

But, guess what? The recovery codes are not working anymore! Wtf github?

I have battled with really crappy car diagnosis, testing and installation software and hardware in few years back to this day. So it's finally time for me to try and make my own library and applications for OBD II.

A COPY of ONE part of the specification (ISO-9141-2) costs around 90€. WHAT! Oh my word... I guess I'll be using info found from Wikipedia instead 😒

Back in the day when daily standups where still physical, i worked at a place you had to pay a euro if you where late. This money would then be used to buy the team dinner on pizza nights for example. Ofcourse everything changed with the daily standups being digital now.

How would you still implement somekind of correction for people being late unnecessary?

Thank you to the developer who introduced me to the dark theme in my editor back in the day! Probably saved my eyesight.

And now even the meetings I am not invited to are interrupting my work flow. Seriously. I need to collaborate with two people, one of whom is the SME for the piece of code I am working in who just got back from vacation, which he left on after breaking his algorithm because apparently due dilligence is lost on this guy. My other collaborator and I have been fighting this fire for two days. And they both get whisked off into another meeting before I can get ANY information out of any of them. But sure. We're only in a day by day schedule slip. With customers depending on our delivery in order to test their project. I am not work it OT for these fuckers because they decided that having a meeting is more important than. Delivering a damn reliable product.

CODERS

IT IS TIME TO STRIKE. NO MORE MEETING BEFORE 10AM. WE DECIDE THE DEADLINE. NO MORE FEATURE UNTIL ALL THE TECH DEBT IS FIXED. NO MORE MANAGERS. IN FACT, NO MORE MEETING AT ALL. ALL ASYNC.

WE WANT OUR SPORT AND HOBBY PAID COZ SITTING ALL DAY IS SUPER BAD FOR YOUR BACK.

WE WANT GLASSES COZ WE STARE AT SCREEN ALL DAY

WE WANT FREE DRUGZ BECAUSE.

I was around 12. My mother just took a new position as Algorithmic and programming teacher (Mathematics before) for high school seniors. (Around 16-17 in Russia back in a day).

So sometimes, I waited for her after school, listening (just a bit) what she was teaching.

Then one day I was waiting while she was giving an exam of 2 hours to seniors (End of year exam). In 20 minutes, I doodled a thing on a piece of paper and showed my mother. I was correct on all questions and all flow diagrams (Was not called like this back in a day).

From this moment, I knew, programming and logic are for me.

At the end of high school (So I was 17), I received the collective message from most girls in my class saying : “ You felt in love with computers and ignored us”. They were right ☹, I realised it way later.

Sms gateway 😃 back in the day

Back in the day my dad had this Fortran book he was studying at the time. I had just learned reading but and remember looking at the funny book and wondering why I can't understand anything. Still have that book as a fond reminder =D

My dad noticed me trying to read it and got me this funny BASIC for kids. At the same time we got our first computer. At that you couldn't buy games. Usually the books had the source that you had to type in and compile.

So this funny BASIC book with funny pictures had the source for moonlander... And man was I hooked. Next came the "monkeys throwing bananas" =D

Back in the day everyone was also on the dark side. Prompt was always white on black ;)

Today I have fixed an issue in 300k usd servers that have been sitting there for almost 6 months... Even the vendor (which is a major company) did not wanna touch them. Nobody knows about it yet but I'm proud of myself but at the same time I feel a big resentment because despite my hard work I will not get to spend the next holiday which is a month from now with my family because all coworker went behind my back to the manager and took a vacation and manager will not even allow a work from home day... 1 single day. That's the only working day that week. But without it I can't go back home because home is 20 hours away... More if I take a connecting flight

Every once in a while the flexibility of dynamic types comes back and bites you in the ars:

So I created method that returns the date significance (day, month, year) or null when no date is set.
I chose a class constant DAY with the value 0.
This is not a problem in if statements as I always use === but in this case a switch made more sense. And as you can guess no date set (NULL) was handled in the self::DAY (0) case... 😐😑😶 Silently resulting in wrong results when no date is given! #£#@$& (and other comic swearing symbols)

Even though php7 finally has decent type hinting resulting in much clearer defined API's we can still go very wrong.
More love to Go for less verbose static typing! To bad we can rarely use it at the office 😥

Mounjaro side effects are kicking my ass. Second week somehow worse than the first week.

First week, day after shot was the worst. Had really bad nausea and only managed to eat 10 saltines. All day.

Second week, two days after shot, woke up just in time to go to the bathroom and projectile vomit (making me acutely aware of the fact that I haven’t puked in *years*). Took that day and the next off work.

Now I’m feeling a lot better on the puke/nausea front, but constipated as heck, desperately hoping that that resolves soon, and going back to work.

But self-reflections are due.

Y’all don’t know how much I hate writing self-reflections.

But I’ve lost almost a pound a day the last 10 days, so … yay?