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Search - "michael"
Just found a "pro" app to learn linux... The dev used a non linux icon (windows dos) as the app icon.18
Is it just me, or does this emoticon look like a guy giving some serious middle fingers with Michael Jackson gloves?11
Fun fact: Michael Widenius named "MySQL" after his daughter My. When MySQL was acquired by sun, he decided to start a new open source database, "MariaDB", named after his second daughter Maria.
This guy is (partially) responsible for two of the largest databasesystems in the world.
Imagine his daughters apply for a database engineering job one day. During application process: "One of the largest databases in the world was named after me..." 😂20
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime." - Michael Sinz3
"Learning doesn't hurt, unless you want it to..."
Ok, I guess
*goes into multi-thread assembly*8
Some companies have images of their tech support personnel in their websites.
They show you Steve and Michael......but in reality you get Rajhit and Pakalu19
Want to finish my little friend for a long time now. He can dance Michael Jackson's moonwalk for now.
Idea was to use the sonar sensor to switch dancing styles but he is still blind :(11
My boss when:
Conversation regarding passwords:
Me: "It should be longer than that"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
*taking note of the inappropriate-ness*
Me: "We need to get a room for us"
PM: "That's what she said"
Me: "Come on Ryan!"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
Sales Lady: "This will never end!"
Me: "That's what she said!"
Office dies for a minute. Michael Scott would be proud.2
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)4
Good fucking job amazon, who would have thought opening the door to strangers is a great idea, everybody act surprised. Does sound a bit like it might have looked like an appartment building from their report (therefore wandering around), but I really doubt that.
"Guy who found two Amazon deliverymen wandering through his house: 'It's not just happening to me' [...] For Michael Lentini, his delivery last Saturday was a nightmare. According to his version of the story, an Amazon delivery man entered his house without permission — and wandered around the first floor before taking the elevator up to his bedroom."
I had a dream that I was installing some sort of package and the PM warned that it was a known malicious package and I was like "This must be a mistake, no it isn't" so I installed it anyways and then an ASCII-Art Michael Jackson started dancing on my screen to loud music and I shut down the computer and woke up and panicked because I didn't have any backups4
The Humble bundle currently offers a bunch of Linux related books. Some gimp shit, and some blender shit.
The thing is, they have the Linux Programming interface by Michael Kerrisk for 30 dllrs(in total for everything)
Ladies and gents, that right there is a DAMN good deal. That book is fucking gold. Used it during Uni, didn't get to keep it. 30 bucks for a bunch of pdfs, ebook and mobi plus a book that for itself is worth more? Shiet son. It will pump up both your Linux and C chops I would tell ya that much.
I'd made that deal.
What about you Utivich, you'd made that deal?
Utivich: I'd made that deal.
I don't blame you. DAMN GOOD deal.9
A coworker that is producing incredibly bad code and refuses to learn new stuff was declared "senior developer" by my boss. And me with over 20y experience? I am just a junior.. and have to clean up his mess all the time. I guess it is time to find new job.5
As someone who works with front end stuff regularly, know what I love about safari? Specifically mobile safari?
Not a god damn fucking thing. If safari was a band, it'd be Nickelback, featuring Kenny G and Michael Bolton.3
Ok so we went to a graphic class seeking graphic designers for our game.
We pitchted our 3d fast paced speed running game. With highscores and shit. (We only have a week to create this game)
This fucking moron in the back of the class starts to rise his hand asking:
Is this a MMORPG?
Me: No this is no fucking MMORPG?!
Him: But i only want to design to a MMORPG
Me: Well we are not doing a fucking MMORPG..
Him: Can you change it to an MMORPG please?
Me: WTF NOOO!
Him: Okey you sure?
Me: YES... smh
Like why the fuck shall we change an idea to something litrally impossible to make in a week and that will fucking crash and burn like every Michael Bay movie ever...4
I had the weirdest dream. Michael Cera was a developer I was working with. I had a meeting with him and discovered that he spoke 3 different Indian languages fluently.9
Michael Sinz: “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”3
I don't know how recruitment goes outside of the Netherlands, but here they can be very very aggressive due to the scarcity of programmers.
One was even so blunt that he called the office I was working and asked to be connected to me with some bullshit story. Now you have to understand that this was a small company, so small that it was one open space. You can imagine how I felt when he was asking me questions and offering me work while the rest of the people could actually hear me. I got mad at the guy and refused.
What are your weirdest recruiter stories? Beside LinkedIn spam...6
Do you give your PC or Smartphone (or printer etc) a name?
Like: I called my Laptop "Momo" (Reference: Michael Ende, I never read nor watched it but I liked the drawing style)
And my Phone "Ori" (Reference: Ori & the blind Forest, I never played it, only saw a some gameplay)21
I classify myself as Michael Jackson, and my personal pronoun is hee hee.
Saw that the other day and could not stop laughing.
Instead of a rant I have a story for you.
I was browsing my emails and eminently pissed off, as I usually am. Came across an email from
and thought "fuck this guy and his adverspam!"
Because whats more rational than hating someone you don't know, over something they didn't do, because of something completely unrelated to them of which they have no control?
The email looked like this
"I have some fantastic news for you:
Clean Components will be released again on April 21!
With a "🎉" emoji. I'm in a more vile mood than usual today.
It goes on.
"Even better, I'm significantly dropping the price, so you'll definitely want to pick it up!"
I fire off a quick reply.
"What a bunch of bullshit.
I decide to change careers and a month later, just like in 2008, this fucking pandemic happens and the economy and hiring
And here I am getting sent this bullshit.
I had to rewrite and shitcan the response a few times for civility. I guess this is me being polite, but I was suddenly compelled to vent to this total stranger over what in all likelihood was an *automated* email.
Six and a half hours later I got a reply.
"Hey James, I'm sorry this pandemic has been rough on you.
I hope things turn around for you soon.
If it would help, I'd give you the course for free, but if you've switched careers I'm not sure it's relevant any more?
My god. A lone voice of calm in a wasteland of 24/7 bad and worsening news. Sometimes simplicity is the soul of class.
Hes got it in spades.
And here I was thinking "today might be the day. Thank god for giant bottles of hydrocodone."
It's not true that all gingers are soulless demons.
Some of them are angels in problem glasses.
No but seriously, hes a cool guy in my book.
Check out his site if you're interested in Vue at
So when I joined the company 2 months ago I was told they offered flexible working, today I received this email. (I can't help but think it is aimed at me given I often arrive between 9 and 10....I'm always the last to go home)
Oh and yes they have named some of the team DevOps and others just Developers, they haven't quite grasped the concept!
I have been noticing the start time for all the team members. Some like to start early while some likes the late start. So before Senior management raises any questions below is the shift pattern I would like everyone to stick to it.
I have assigned name against each of the shift which I am aware of. If you would like to change it please let me know. We need at least one Developer between 08:00- 17:30 and at least one Devops between 07:00 – 17:30.
If we have any emergency issues and takes longer to fix it , I would appreciate if you guys can work after your shift. We can adjust this overtime by leaving early next day or whenever possible.
7:00 – 15:30 - @Michael Smith
7:30 – 16:00 - @Sarah Twist @Jim Bob
8:00 – 16:30 - @Lesley Matthews
8:30 – 17:00 - @Bill Best
9:00 – 17:30- @Jennifer Rowe @me!
9:30 – 18:006
OK, listen, this is not a lie.
For every sentence here, i collected a valid evendence i can show to proof, should you refuse to believe the sentence to be correct. Not one of the sentences down there is opinion but provable fact.
All of this is not a compendium of all mistakes i ever seen, but it is all present in ONE project:
- The codebase isn't a well thought out structure. In fact, it doesn't follow any defined standard, but is, instead, a bunch of spaghetti code. (provable by the fact that every class is public and globally visible)
- Where every one who worked at, failing to find or understand the existing code, added his personal universe of tools and objects. That despite that every class being globally visible. (provable by finding multiple implementations for same things)
- Also, it is remarkable that this happend even though the code is mostly young, the oldest parts only 3 years old and it still follows some or most of the major antipatterns there are. (provable by this was when the project started)
- There was not once a refactoring task issued in the runtime of that project. (provable by refactoring tasks not existing)
- Justified by just wrong reasoning like "it's optimised for mass data", or "it's how we work here, because it's always worked", the code does not follow
any design principles, let alone Michael Feathers and Robert C. Martins S-O-L-I-D principle, which is, while being taught and studied, improved and used in the rest of the world,
not even mentioned in one of the over 3000 pages of documents. (provable by full text search and asking the programmers about SOLID)
- Also, there is no state of the art Software Design process (provable by not having product owners, not having requirement engineers, nor design tools for that)
- nor is there distinction between business process and software solutiong in documentation, which, by the way has over 3200 pages (provable by having the functional documentation mixed with implementation details and process descriptions)
- There is no dev ops in place.
- Not a single Unit test has been created.
- The Code Inspection that could run at check in has been disabled.
- There is no dependency graph between packages
- There is no branching or encapsulation of changes nor association between code change and respecting task
- Everyone who works with that legacy code, where such a lot of things are not determinable, your check ins are a shot in the dark, provable by a direct correlation between commits, shortly followed by one-line commits to the same task.
- Also, it is internally communicated and believed there, that this is a high-end, object oriented, state of the art way of getting things done.
- Just yesterday, we stated an effort of 9 days (3 people work 3 days each) do let a modal dialog save the changes when coming back with OK Result.
- Also, training the existing programmers into transitioning to better software architecture and SOLID concepts is considered low priority because of it being too expensive4
Enough of this damn youtube selecting shit songs for me, so please guys share playlists !
What i am used to :
- system of down
- michael bubley
- tarja turunen
- christina agilera (wrong spelling i know ...)
Just gave them in my mind's order, i listen to a lot of their songs, but recently there is no fucking good artist at all.
I like to listen to something who moves, not static idiot repetitive songs. I am fed of daft punk.
Please guys share, i can no longer enjoy music !!43
Best rants in movies, my top list.
John Malkovich - Burn After Reading
Bank Account: https://youtube.com/watch/...
League of morons https://youtube.com/watch/...
Michael Douglas - Falling Down - actually all the movie is a big rant, too many scenes, just this:
I want breakfast: https://youtube.com/watch/...
John Goodman - The Big Lebowsky
There are rules https://youtube.com/watch/...
Al Pacino - Devil's advocate
"Most of the mediocre design today comes from designers who are faithfully doing as they were taught in school: they worship at the altar of the visual." - Michael Bierut
For the science lovers here, just wanna let you know..
If you like VSauce, DONG, Ding and those YT channels (physics and other science stuff) from Michael, this month all the mind field videos (paid YT series) on VSauce are free to watch for everyone this month.
Watched the first 2 episodes yesterday. Pretty fucking interesting.4
Not really a rant but just curious who listens to podcasts and which channel is your favorite?
Mine are Software Engineering Radio and InfoQ4
MENTORS - MY STORY (Part II)
The next mentor was my first boss at my previous job:
2.- Manager EA
So, I got new in the job, I had a previous experience in other company, but it was no good. I learned a lot about code, but almost nothing about the industry (project management, how to handle requirements, etc.) So in this new job all I knew was the code and the structure of the enterprise system they were using (which is why the hired me).
EA was BRILLIANT. This guy was the Manager at the IT department (Software Development, Technology and IT Support) and he was all over everything, not missing a beat on what was going on and the best part? He was not annoying, he knew how to handle teams, times, estimations, resources.
Did the team mess something up? He was the first in line taking the bullets.
Was the team being sieged by users? He was there attending them to avoid us being disturbed.
Did the team accomplished something good? He was behind, taking no credit and letting us be the stars.
If leadership was a sport this guy was Michael Jordan + Ronaldo Nazario, all in one.
He knew all the technical details of our systems, and our platforms (Server Architectures both software and hardware, network topology, languages being used, etc, etc). So I was SHOCKED when I learned he had no formation in IT or Computer Science. He was an economist, and walked his way up in the company, department from department until he got the job as IT Manager.
From that I learned that if you wanna do things right, all you need is the will of improving yourself and enough effort.
One of the first lessons he taught me: "Do your work in a way that you can go on holidays without anyone having to call you on the phone."
And for me those are words to live by. Up to that point I thought that if people needed to call me or needed me, I was important, and that lessons made me see I was completely wrong.
He also thought me this, which became my mantra ever since:
LEARN, TEACH AND DELEGATE.
Thank you master EA for your knowledge.
PART I: https://devrant.com/rants/1483428/...1
that feel when I am the only one in team who knows at least one framework.. and coworkers refuse to learn and instead copy and paste code parts from old, insecure apps into new apps... 😐1
To the one who named his Stressball stressy.
This is my Stressball and he is called Michael.
(Any resemblance to a living person is purely coincidental)1
Need to work on a web application from 2002... the code is a mess. Whats the oldest code you worked on?5
Do you know how MySQL got it's name? Well, it's a really interesting thing one should know. Atleast, I find it really amusing.
~Michael "Monty" Widenius is one of the founder of MySQL and one of his daughter's name is My(after whom MySQL was named).~8
Recently I started coding a project for my school with two of my friends. The first one is a person which spends most of his time reading 4chan and joking about Pope, you know this kind of person. The second, Michael, is a really good partner for coding, he's just an opposite of Jedrzej, the first one. Jedrzej used to call people 'cancer' and this kind of sh**. Lately Michael said, that he's mother has breast cancer and he left our conversation on Facebook. Later I told Jedrzej, that he has to tell Michael 'sorry', but he wrote something stupid (doesn't matter what) and the situation only went wrong. At least I told them that they have to bury the hatchet and start working. The only problem here is that Michael and I made 99.7% of our project, Jedrzej only updated README and shared his VPS. I'm a full-stack dev, but our project is on laravel and I don't know what kind of sorcery is this framework so Michael does the back-end. My question to all of you who read this rant - what should I do with lazy Jedrzej?7
Not a DRV rant bit I am Maaad AF here
I am doing an internship at an amazing company. Everything is going well and I have learned a lot. This internship is for 6 months and almost 4 months are remaining. Now this shitfuckery of obscene ignorance that I call my college , wants every student to attend classes no matter what. I have already told them the status of my internship but they said "college is more important ". Along with this they want 2 projects in this semester and my HOD said we have to give developments of our project weekly
When I told this amazing piece of human knowledge that I won't get off for every week and I will be using git , he can see my developments and we can communicate on slack etc.
This humble genius said with utmost compassion " what is got, I don't use it , come daily to college". Man, first time in my life I have ever given that Michael Corleone stare at sollozzo killing death stare.
Indian colleges are messed up.1
I just found this video on YouTube.:
"Growing Human Neurons Connected to a Computer"
It might be a worthy opponent to ML/AI solutions.
PS: It is the first time where I see this channel. It has a lot of interesting videos. I would recommend it. It is like a mixture of Vsauce ("Hey, Michael here"), Vsauce2, Vsauce3, the creator of homonculus, NileRed and Veritasium.2
Our current project...
First three sprints... going fine and slow get used to each other.
Later sprints get more of a clear scope. With a deadline a couple of months later. The team raises some red flags with problems.
Seems like the PO/PM doesn't get it or ignores it.
More sprints later with more confrontations. PO/PM still doesn't get it.
Team introduces a new theme song
Hopes she gets it now . . .
"I don’t care if you’re a billionaire. If you haven’t started a company, really gambled your resume and your money and maybe even your marriage to just go crazy and try something on your own, you’re no pirate and you aren’t in the club." - Michael Arrington6
"A lot of the things about design that tend to get designers really interested aren’t that important." - Michael Bierut1
"If you do good work for good clients, it will lead to other good work for other good clients. If you do bad work for bad clients, it will lead to other bad work for other bad clients. " - Michael Bierut1
"never call anything 'ng'.. One day it won't be."
- Michael W. Lucas @ BSD Now 197 at ~26:40 mark.1
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
Michael is learning about stylesheets from Hubspot. HO LEEE SHEEEIT
Joe Makarski [7:43 AM]
dood. those hubspot stylehseets are soooo insane
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
I know! LOL
Better him than me
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
it's like Dreamweaver and Adobe's other web app eat each other
Lee Quessenberry [7:44 AM]
and after they get done eating each other they go to the sperm bank and get knocked up by microsoft frontpage.
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
Lee Quessenberry [7:45 AM]
Either I am too sensitive with my name or I just can't stop laughing when someone keep misspelled my English name, "Michael" into "Micheal".
I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but... *eye-roll*
Anyway, I am still wondering that what wording or how does it take for them to accidentally typed from 'ae' into 'ea'..?
Super curious here.3
WHICH EVER IDIOT PROGRAMMED HALYARD SHOULD DIE A SLOW DEATH IN HELL!!!
A CD TOOL HAVING THE WORST INSTALLER EVER IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE YOU COULD COME UP WITH!!! FUCK NETFLIX FUCK SPINNAKER FUCK EVERY BIT OF SHIT TOOLING THAT COMES FROM IT!!!!!
"I became a graphic artist because of the tools. I love working at a big drawing table with traditional tools: T-squares, compasses, mechanical pencils, French curves, blank ink, and graphite. At a computer, one works on a keyboard. I never considered myself a typist." - Michael Schwab3
My favorite xkcd quotes (order is not significant )
1. _*It's the world's tiniest open-source violin.*_
2. ...too honest. Scale it back.
3. I'd like to bestow upon you the first annual AWARD of EXCELLENCE in BEING VERY SMART. May you continue to grace our internet with your wisdom.
4. wait, what?
5. Yeah, uh ... I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ...
6. Okay, we _suck_ at this.
7. You either need more medication or less. Not sure which.
8. I THINK EVERYONE INVOLVED HERE IS CUTE
9. World's Greatest Daughter
10. People who open bananas for the other end
11. Just for the sake of the argument, we should get a boat! You can invite the Devil, too, if you want.
12. This explain a lot.
13. My bag is 90% backup batteries.
14. Well- will you be my "it's complicated" on facebook?
15. Oh God. Gotta get out. The window.
16. Sweet! I finally got my subduction license!
17. I'll tell you later - you wouldn't appreciate the punchline over this 12kbps cell phone codec.
18. RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL
19. Just talk to them like a f***ing human being
20. In ordering #5, self-driving cars will happily drive you around, but if you tell them to drive to a car dealership, they just lock the doors and politely ask how long humans take to starve to death.
21. I eat my body weight in food every 31 days. That's slightly faster than the human average.
22. Nice try, Mike. Get out of the well.
23. Apollo retroreflectors
24. Can't see space vampires
25. My class on screenshots was a big hit, although for some reason I only ever sold one copy of the digital textbook.
27. Introducing The xkcd Phone 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876. We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.
28. My morality has evaporated over the harsh UV light.
29. Come on. Somewhere at the edge of the bell curve is the girl for me.
30. P.P.S. I can kill you with my brain.
31. Time to accelerate this giant machine up to terrifying speeds and steer it using my hands, which I am allowed to do because I took a 20-minute test in high school!
32. My normal approach is useless here
33. Wake up, sheeple!
34. Sir- strategic command has send us a lunch order.
35. Yeah, but first I'm gonna go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, and maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience.
36. HOLY S***. Guys- people are complicated!
37. OH GOD- SPIDERS
38. Perhaps you need a crash course in taking hints. Here's your first lesson: We're not actually walking somewhere together; I'm trying to leave this conversation and you're following me.
39. How did the pole vaulters get up to our balcony?
40. Friggin' Python
41. I am the goddamn *Michael Jordan* of blurring the line between metaphor and reality. [tosses a basketball]
This poster is shite quality but I've transcribed the gold found on it:
The Technical Support Specialist:
- SEND US AN URGENT EMAIL IN UPPERCASE. We'll flag it as a rush job. Really.
- Loves it when a user calls screaming "the internet is broken".
- Gonna snap the next time a user asks why they don't have permission to install a George Michael screensaver.
- Last vacation: catching the first rays of sun from the back booth in Tim Hortons. Sweeeeeet!
- Most dreaded words: "I don't know what happened, I only opened the attachment".
- Has memorized over 100 access codes, but can't remember what day it is.
- Is amazed a user can have five chatrooms and three celebrity sites opened at once - but reading an I.T. support e-mail sent with high importance - now that's a complicated request.
- When you call with a tech support problem and say you'll be back in 5 - I'll say "Great!" And try not to snicker.
- System crashed last Thursday. Haven't seen my wife and kids since.2
The customer service dept at Koss Headphones sent me an adapter gratis for my Pro 4/AA headphones so I could listen to loud rock and roll on my pc. I've been using Koss exclusively since I rec'd a pair for Christmas in 1971. Despite the natural deterioration in sound quality on a PC, I found I could hear more on certain Rolling Stones soundboards [the ones in question are Philadelphia 1972 and New York City a week later]. So I penned a rather whimsical email to Michael Koss, who actually replied with a letter, the kind we used to lick stamps for and put in a mailbox.
OK, that PC died. And the HP I have somehow has a really loose jack so the whole mechanism will slide out if you move the least little bit. It happened so often I became shell shocked about listen to loud music on my headphones at night when my nabes were sleeping because I didn't want to wake anybody up.
Finally, after too much jiggling, the end bit of the adapter got stuck in the headphone jack. Koss sent me another adapter gratis. Last night, I got out my headphones, removed the new adapter from its envelope, and inserted tweezers into the jack to pull the broken off bit out.
Except the broken off bit slid deeper into the jack. On my own, I have been able to rig the pc so I can use the speakers. And a friend who can remove the bit of the jack stuck in the jack will be over in a couple of days.
I went online and googled the methods others have used to remove broken off bits. That was worth the keystrokes!
In any case, I just wanted to say something about the irony of expecting the problem to be over and then having a few days more to live with the broken bit.
"If you wanna study some real java shit, drink coffee and take laxatives"
~ Michael Quessenberry c.20172
This has nothing to do wiv developing stuff this site was created for. I just wanted to make a short public statement and there really isn't any place else to say it without the idea that some oik would infantalize it and make fun.
It goes under the heading of something like, "Personal Irony: I'm Not Codependent, I'm Just Trying to Help [Myself]!"
In 2016 I created a playlist that included REM's "Let Me In," Michael Stipe's song to Kurt Cobain. And "Head Down", and "Black Hole Sun," by Soundgarden. I have a good singing voice, I think it's a baritone. But those notes at the end of BHS, you know, "Won't you come?" When you sing it, you pronounce the lyric: WOAN CHOO CU-UH-UHM, the "UH-" dropping an octave into "UHM." It's particular to my range that dropping that note requires discipline and concentration. And even then I'd say I've sung it 100 times and nailed it to my satisfaction maybe twice. Anyway, I had these two songs as a playlist in my media player. I listened to them and sang along as quietly as I could, it being four a.m. here in Seattle. And as the final notes of BHS fragmented and skipped back into eternity, I felt like total shit. Not at all normal for me to personally feel the loss of an entertainer, but at that moment I did feel sad. That's it. Thanks for reading this odd little collection of words.1
I have been wondering where i should start from.I am a newbie to programming.Weighing all the options to see which language would be an easier pick.*sigh* (Any help guys?)9
Deserializing a class that implements Serializable which also extends HashMap<Serializable,Serializable> using Jackson its so mind-blowing 🤯🤯🤯2
"Designers tend to overvalue differentiation and originality. We are taught this in design school. The best solutions are created ex nihilo, break new ground, resemble nothing else in the world. Everyone wants to stand out, or else what’s the point? But this isn’t true. Most people don’t want to stand out. They want to fit in. More precisely, they want to fit in with the people they like, or want to be like." - Michael Bierut
"I think advertising is a brilliant concept that has been pooped upon by selfish marketers, resulting in corrupted motives and flawed execution." - Michael Mistretta3
Just build it, build it, build it, build it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just build it, build it
Just build it, build it
Just build it, build it
Just build it, build it
“Remember, code is your house, and you have to live in it.” - Michael Feathers
"I’ve always considered myself a graphic artists – a draftsman – as opposed to a typist. I do still work on a drawing table. At times drawing on a computer feels like I’m drawing on an Etch-a-Sketch." - Michael Schwab