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Search - "cow"
3 years ago.....
*lunch break. In a table with 2 other co-workers*
Me: "I am going to quit today!"
Co-worker 1: "What? I am going to do that today too!"
Co-worker 2: "Are you serious? I was planning to do that too today!"
Me: "Holy cow! Let's do that today the three of us, but I am going last one. I want to see his face (our CEO)".
After couple of minutes and disagreement, we agreed to do that.
When I told him (I was the last to tell himm), he was sweating and his face was red. Started to throw offensive words towards me. I was expecting that and came prepared. BUT, in the middle of his words saying "I hire you because no one would hire you" etc, quietly and with a smile on my face, I interrupted him saying, "Look, is this going to take long? Because I gotta go somewhere and I am not in the mood to listen to you!"
He started to shake from that rage he had inside him. I know he wanted to punch me. But nothing happened.
I still remember his face like it was yesterday. :P
My aunt's husband and him were best friends. He called him saying what happened. Of course, I was the one to blame. Since my parent knew what kind of guy he is, they told me "You did good for being quiet, not screaming and not acting like a child!"12
Worst thing you've seen another dev do? Long one, but has a happy ending.
Classic 'Dev deploys to production at 5:00PM on a Friday, and goes home.' story.
The web department was managed under the the Marketing department, so they were not required to adhere to any type of coding standards and for months we fought with them on logging. Pre-Splunk, we rolled our own logging/alerting solution and they hated being the #1 reason for phone calls/texts/emails every night.
Wanting to "get it done", 'Tony' decided to bypass the default logging and send himself an email if an exception occurred in his code.
At 5:00PM on a Friday, deploys, goes home.
Around 11:00AM on Sunday (a lot folks are still in church at this time), the VP of IS gets a call from the CEO (who does not go to church) about unable to log into his email. VP has to leave church..drive home and find out he cannot remote access the exchange server. He starts making other phone calls..forcing the entire networking department to drive in and get email back up (you can imagine not a group of happy people)
After some network-admin voodoo, by 12:00, they discover/fix the issue (know it was Tony's email that was the problem)
We find out Monday that not only did Tony deploy at 5:00 on a Friday, the deployment wasn't approved, had features no one asked for, wasn't checked into version control, and the exception during checkout cost the company over $50,000 in lost sales.
Was Tony fired? Noooo. The web is our cash cow and Tony was considered a top web developer (and he knew that), Tony decided to blame logging. While in the discovery meeting, Tony told the bosses that it wasn't his fault logging was so buggy and caused so many phone calls/texts/emails every night, if he had been trained properly, this problem could have been avoided.
Well, since I was responsible for logging, I was next in the hot seat.
For almost 30 minutes I listened to every terrible thing I had done to Tony ever since he started. I was a terrible mentor, I was mean, I was degrading, etc..etc.
Me: "Where is this coming from? I barely know Tony. We're not even in the same building. I met him once when he started, maybe saw him a couple of times in meetings."
Andrew: "Aren't you responsible for this logging fiasco?"
Me: "Good Lord no, why am I here?"
Andrew: "I'll rephrase so you'll understand, aren't you are responsible for the proper training of how developers log errors in their code? This disaster is clearly a consequence of your failure. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Me: "Nothing. Developers are responsible for their own choices. Tony made the choice to bypass our logging and send errors to himself, causing Exchange to lockup and losing sales."
Andrew: "A choice he made because he was not properly informed of the consequences? Again, that is a failure in the proper use of logging, and why you are here."
Me: "I'm done with this. Does John know I'm in here? How about you get John and you talk to him like that."
'John' was the department head at the time.
Andrew:"John, have you spoken to Tony?"
John: "Yes, and I'm very sorry and very disappointed. This won't happen again."
John: "You know what. Did you even fucking talk to Tony? You just sit in your ivory tower and think your actions don't matter?"
Me: "Whoa!! What are you talking about!? My responsibility for logging stops with the work instructions. After that if Tony decides to do something else, that is on him."
John: "That is not how Tony tells it. He said he's been struggling with your logging system everyday since he's started and you've done nothing to help. This behavior ends today. We're a fucking team. Get off your damn high horse and help the little guy every once in a while."
Me: "I don't know what Tony has been telling you, but I barely know the guy. If he has been having trouble with the one line of code to log, this is the first I've heard of it."
John: "Like I said, this ends today. You are going to come up with a proper training class and learn to get out and talk to other people."
Over the next couple of weeks I become a powerpoint wizard and 'train' anyone/everyone on the proper use of logging. The one line of code to log. One line of code.
A friend 'Scott' sits close to Tony (I mean I do get out and know people) told me that Tony poured out the crocodile tears. Like cried and cried, apologizing, calling me everything but a kitchen sink,...etc. It was so bad, his manager 'Sally' was crying, her boss 'Andrew', was red in the face, when 'John' heard 'Sally' was crying, you can imagine the high levels of alpha-male 'gotta look like I'm protecting the females' hormones flowing.
Took almost another year, Tony released a change on a Friday, went home, web site crashed (losses were in the thousands of $ per minute this time), and Tony was not let back into the building on Monday (one of the best days of my life).10
skype interview with chinese it vp,
vp: do u know cow-computing?
me: sorry what?
vp: cow computing
me: really can't hear you, did u mean actual Cow computing?
vp: i mean cow! you know like in the sky.
me: oohhhh, cloud computing.. (face turns red over embarrassment)
0.Arrive late due to traffic.(Apparently a car hit a cow crossing the road)
1. Try upgrading php5 to php7 and break stuff in the process and waste 2 hours fixing things.(Poor connection so ssh sessions hung occasionally)
2.PHP fixed,open Gmail and get over 100 emails from clients about the server being down(because of (0)).Ignore all.Find a snaglist of over 20 TODOs.
3.Open Android Studio, update to 2.3 and everything becomes broken.Each time i open it ,it crashes and i have to "Report to Google"
4.Spend the next 1 hour reinstalling AS.It finally works.
5.Open Project and the libraries are broken.Spend another hour upgrading build tools.
6.Leave SDK to update and decide to check my Google Cloud console.$50 bill pending.Shit.
7.Try XCode. Remember the project is still in Swift 2 and I have to upgrade it(Would take eternity).Immediately closes xcode.
8.Gives up on life and decides to log into Devrant.5
At least it wasn't Disney who acquired GitHub. Not sure if the world is ready for GitHub branded tampons yet.7
I now know another person's password without even wanting to.
He was sitting in the row in front of me, logging into our course page and then *brrrrraaaaapppp* - ran his index finger along the top number row and hit enter.
I don't even know what to say.13
No, not as e-mail or for privacy reasons. Sure, that too, but it comes with "free" stuff.
It sucks because it's breaking every possible record in the worst, shittiest, most insanely stupid APIs and integrations out there on the entire fucking planet!
It is comically stupid!
Aside from their LOVE of hard-deprecating APIs every few months, requiring constant, time consuming maintenance of every tool that integrates deeply with Google services, some of their APIs, for expensive stuff, look like they've been written by Bobby McFartface from 7th grade.
Take a look at DoubleClick Search (their ad performance reporting tool, that sure does sound like one). To upload custom, additional data, you must pass in a ton of parameter, and they REQUIRE some of them to have a specific, hardcoded value. What's the point in passing that parameter then you dickheads?!
But fine, so you uploaded some stuff using the API. Now you want to delete everything and try again after you fixed a bug - well you fucking CAN'T! You can't delete stuff, you can only mark them as "deleted" using an update call.
Bulk operations? Fuck no!
Can I just add on top? Well of course not! That will raise a ton of exceptions. Same message should be transmitted using the PUT, not POST request, in order to edit.
Can I send everything to PUT? Of course not! You can't edit something that's not there, dummy!
Can I see what's there so that I can update it, and add what's missing?
Well of course not! Why on Earth would you need to see what information is in there after you uploaded it? Who needs that anyway?
Simply send, pray, and hope that everything will be fine (it will not).
Like holy fucking crap, it can't get any more stupid!
Google is a huge pile of idiots who feed on only a single cow - the search engine.
It's times like these when I think that Google right now is the worst thing that exists for everyone in tech. It's dragging everyone down with their monopolies everywhere and complete idiocy in managing them.6
FOR CHRISTS SAKE, I JUST WANT TO READ THE FUCKING ARTICLE!! STOP MOVING YOUR SHITTY PAGE AROUND, YOU COW SHIT DINING CHEAP WHORE! I’LL SHOVE YOUR HAND SO FAR UP YOUR UNWIPED PIMPLY ASS THAT YOU CAN SCRATCH YOUR THROAT FROM THE INSIDE IF YOU KEEP FUCKING MOVING IT AROUND!!
Jesus axe-grinding Christ on a glowing shitstick!12
I get really tired of people shitting on php and getting greated with immediate laughter when I say I work as a full stack LEMP/LAMP dev. I work just as hard as you (ruby/python/node devs) do and feel like I make some pretty cool shit.
Why can't we all just agree we do great things with our tools and while I may use a different hammer than you, we still use the same nails!!!19
Holy cow 😯
DevRant web app got updated.
😥 Must resist to spend time on social media. Must resist 😑5
Because of hardware failure we had to move some vpns from one datacenter to another.
The team of highly untrained monkeys at my hosting provider were hired to do this. First they ran backups of all the systems. Then they started the moving process. A few hours later they were done. We got an email everything was back online.
So we restarted all our processes and no data was coming in from our Raspberry's around the country. So we start a little investigation. What did these buffons do, they changed our rsa keys.
So we kindly ask them to put the old keys back so we do not have to fix 200 changed key warnings on systems that are not remotely accesible.
Apperently something that can't be done because their back up process is automated and always makes new keys.
Holy fucking fuck, whats the point in having a backup its not an exact copy. Is this fucking normal?
Now I will be spending the next few weeks literally standing in cow shit reconnecting Raspberry's.
Thanks a fucking lot. Not!4
Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.
Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.
The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.
Holy fuck this is terrifying.4
JUST GO DIE ECLIPSE YOU FUCKING ABOMINATION I HATE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR COW AND YOUR VAGUELY RELATED UNCLE WHO LIVES IN SIBERIA25
When im going home from school i spent about 45 minutes in a bus with free wifi.
Since im geek i always run checks on network that i enter. Well what a suprise. Slovakia fucking MHD (Buses) uses a device with linux 2.6.32 ffs. And Rpi with 4.4 or even less. Im seriusly thinking of running dirty cow script on that 2.6.32 device. This shit is just crazy.
Im waiting for my NFC reader to check the cards that we use to pay in the bus. Either it will just have the money stored on that card which i hope is not true. Or its just ID and server has the money in which case i can just buy NFC cards without manufacter block and just copy the card to that one and well have what ever card i want.
So if somebody is working at Slovakia MHD go and fucking secure your fucking crap ffs. Im not even talking about trains since those just use admin admin as login to router.6
Having a look through my .bashrc, apparently forgot about this.
Thank you bong smoking, fortune telling cow.2
That moment when your marketing manager makes technology decisions for your project and says "let's just use WordPress" ...3
Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might feel as it has been written by someone else.3
As an Apple shareholder, seeing people with those white bags and boxes sitting in this store seems reassuring that Apple should remain a cash cow19
I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.
On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.
GIT LOG VERSION 101
75fed18 pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
56772ff added security.
6374fdd needs more cow bell
6b27de9 Committing fixes in the dark, seriously, who killed my power!?
7e93977 Refactored configuration.
e66c495 pgsql is more strict, increase the hackiness up to 11
5690dd9 Revert "just testing, remember to revert"
daa84ba Still can't get this right...
097f164 this should fix it
367f271 GIT :/
f46d735 bump to 0.0.3-dev:wq
f014a0c ALL SORTS OF THINGS
e648b80 added super-widget 2.0.
e2a8cb1 Fucking templates.
b08e489 pgsql is more strict, increase the hackiness up to 113
I didn't knew it was this expensive....
(cries in the corner)
PowerShell is the slowest, most pathetic, unelegant attempt at copying bash.
The Command-Names are stupid and impossible to remember, the syntax is too awkward to put a name on it.
And holy shit how painfully slow can it be!
It feels like it's Java running in a Windows 95 VM running on a dead cow that was revived against its own will by a Cortana ghost that pretends to be GDPR-compliant.10
Last year the rewrite of an ancient system (VB6/mainframe COBOL) was started. Instead of moving to modern architecture management decided to rewrite the app's functionality into our last gen WinForms client/server arch. I set up a meeting to present alternatives and plead for some level of modernization. After presenting and asking management to plan for five to ten years in the future instead of just this year's budget my director said, "In five to ten years I'll be retired on a beach in Tahiti and this will be your problem to solve." It was the last straw and I left the company shortly after. Last week I found out the director was force retired out of the company. I sent her a congratulations slip and a cocktail umbrella with "Tahiti" written on it.2
So Patanjali(aka Ramdev Baba trying to sell you even a fucking underwear as ayurvedic and locally made) released their chat application "Kimbho" and was taken down within 24 hours because of major security flaws.
Some obvious ironies I would like to point out here.
1. Coming up with a chat application with gaping security flaws at this stage when privacy related discussions are happening at every nook and corner, worst move ever.
2. There are elections in 2019 and 1 year would be the right amount of time to gather data on public and start targetting and influencing people. It shouldn't be so obvious and everyone knows which political party Patanjali leans towards.
3. You are promoting an app citing Make In India initiative. You are the biggest Indian based FMCG operating in India, courtesy exploiting nationalist sentiments. Whatever you aim of doing, at least invest a decent amount of money in hiring good developers and designers. If not anything get a content writer who will write you an original description of your app for as low as ₹1000.
4. Promoting a competitor of whatsapp on whatsapp is a brilliant move. Give that marketting fellow a big raise.
5. Replacing the phone icon with a shankh is not innovation. Also, everyone knows about spam farms in Bangladesh and many places in India. So boasting about 1.5 lakh downloads in less than an hour only speaks more about your ignorance and lack of technical knowledge.
6. If you really are promoting "swadeshi app", why are you offering logging in through facebook? I mean even a blind person can clearly see your agenda here.
7. Hike is a messaging app made in India and they are here since long and still it are nowhere near the usage of whatsapp. Selling shit in the name of Make in India is not cool and its high time Patanjali realises this. But then again, it is their only marketting strategy because how else can you sell something as gross as cow urine and that too people buying it voluntarily.
8. If this stunt was carried out to be in the news, well played. You are getting a good amount of publicity, but this time a bad publicity will do more harm than good. People are calling out your bluff and you will get to see the results.
Mr. Baba Ramdev, fraud karo, itna blatant mat karo. India ki public sentimental hai chutiya nahi.7
Backstory: A few months ago, I wrote an inventory management web app for internal use by the sales team, logistics, and whoever else might need to use it.
Earlier this week: A few minutes before I usually leave, my phone rings. It's some dude I've never heard of. No idea what his function at the company is, still don't, probably never will, don't care. He's never used the app before, and says he's having problems. His cube's on my way out, so I swing by.
I'm not making this next part up. This dude is probably 60 years old, and he's using a very old looking gateway desktop (with the cow print logo thing on the chassis), running Windows XP (not a typo), using IE7.
I don't know what to say, so I just stare at the desktop, look at dude, laugh, and eventually explain that he's never going to be able to use the system via the web app until his rig is replaced.
What the fucking fuck is this. How could this have happened. How do our it people still fucking have jobs. Better question, how did this thing survive the y2k bug?9
2 things today are greatly annoying.
1. I see one more fucking Wix ad, I'll ram an entire cow through someone's anal cavity.
2. GPU drivers decided "I feel like FUCKING YOUR SHIT UP TODAY"
TL;DR: "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly"
Couldn't stop my laughter after reading this one.
A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door….
A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.
Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!
Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?
Salesman: - Why Madam?
Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!
This is What which happens when client appreciate your efforts but your manager takes them all in his account. 😑1
Perhaps more of a wishlist than what I think will actually happen, but:
- Everyone realises that blockchain is nothing more than a tiny niche, and therefore everyone but a tiny niche shuts up about it.
- Starting a new JS framework every 2 seconds becomes a crime. Existing JS frameworks have a big war, until only one is left standing.
- Developing for "FaaS" (serverless, if I must use that name) type computing becomes a big thing.
- Relational database engines get to the point where special handling of "big data" isn't required anymore. Joins across billions of rows doesn't present an issue.
- Everyone wakes up one day and realises that Wordpress is a steaming pile of insecure cow dung. It's never used again, and burns in a fire.9
First rant ever... But like, I just have to... So I'm at my internship and everythings going good, I'm working on the UI portion for the Android portion of the cross platform Xamarin app, and im just frolicking through my code, making things pretty and usable like a good xaml cow, and then it hits me... The Apple portion...
Now, I have a great computer, love it to death, but it's not an Apple laptop. Which I didn't realize I'd need to have in order to develop a Xamarin app for iOS, but I didn't know that, so as I go up to innocently check off another portion of my daily coding routine, and then I see it. The "please connect your Apple computer to continue". Im here like "...", And suddenly my supervisor comes over and sees my screen blank with my utter look of confusion and he asks why the hell I wasn't working, to which I respond that Xamarin won't let me work with iOS, to which he replies "bullshit, just use the other side of your computer" I'm confused for a second and realize he means my Linux install. So I tell my supervisor politely that that side of my computer isn't an Apple computer and doesn't have an actual licence. This annoys him since he's kind of used to things going his way, so he kind of just angrily/annoyedly says to "get it working" before I clock out... So essentially, I really hate apple for making me have to own an Apple computer to develop for Apple, which I don't really like, since it's not the best computer for me and I'd much rather have a nice bulkier computer that can handle gaming, but yeah, ugh, I'm screwed b/c I don't own an Apple computer... DevRant save me from the cash sucking sadness that is Apple... ;-;
TL;DR: I kinda hate apple for forcing it's devs to own an overpriced piece of hardware to develop their software... And now my supervisor is expecting me to make magic happen by the end of my shift... Which is in 4 hours... Fml11
He couldn't sleep for 2 days because he missed her.
I couldn't sleep for 4 days because I missed a stupid ";" in my code. 😟
C might be a pain to write, but holy cow does it run circles around python from a performance perspective. Easy to forget in fields like data science, where python is the default9
I just added a function to my project that means branding can define a unit to use when measuring Energy. Now everything can be measured in Cows as long as a factor is defined. 1 Cow is approx 10 kWh. I am way more proud than I should be...1
This morning, i showed the communication manager how to use Photoshop (layer, image resize).
A year ago, I worked on the website, it has never been put online. The company's users never provided the content.
This afternoon, other people asked me where the site was, one year after!
I don't know whether to laugh of cry.
Ps : I'm sorry, my english level is low. I speak english as a cow speaks spanish.2
Pros of developing for VR: it's cool.
Cons: when I leave the office it seems like a cow spat on my hair.1
Can anyone recommend a nice set of DnD dice for a gift? It's for my boyfriend's younger sister. She's just getting into it and we're all playing on her birthday.
There's cheap sets everywhere and I'd like to get her something of nice quality.7
Serverless is server less in the same way a beef burger is vegetarian because you didn't personally see the cow being killed.4
sudo rm -rf *
Just started out on linux, learning the ins and outs. All I wanted to do was remove two directories. Thankfully it was a fresh install, didn't lose anything important.
A valuable lesson was learned that day. 😂2
The worst interview, I'll say the worst questions I ever being asked by stupid interviewer is "Where is your remote server located?", well I said "are your kidding me???" 😂 😂 😂2
TLDR: coworkers are worst than clients on delivery
The endless script last part, or where I want to rip the vocal chords out of my coworker’s throat.
Delivered “quickly” last Friday night as he was stressing me, because it was urgent, because he started shit I had to refactor, because I have better shit to get done.
It’s also important to note that this “senior” sysadmin wrote requirements as follows : told me orally what he needed between a gasp and another and drew me something that looked like a diagram but without real sense. I told myself -Well, let’s get this pile of cow shit together.
Anyway, it required some amount of time to put his giant shit mix of powershell and batch together, also it was quickly but it was tested and it worked on different conditions that I specifically wrote out and designed to have menus where you can’t do shit (like putting a string on a number input).
Today he comes to me and asked if it was ready and I told him it was usable. He tries it, doesn’t know how to use it, abandons it. Then he tells me he doesn’t work how “required” and after 5 Minutes on telling Shit I tested on the exact same server, he said “well my version was ok but you know I could have been more precise”
YOU INORGANIC PILE OF PIGEON SHIT. THE FUCKING SCRIPT IS WORKING, IS REFACTORED AS IT SHOULD AND YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND A CRAP ABOUT THE FUCK YOU’RE EXECUTING.
Seriously, come tell me that you can’t see what happens. I did explicit every fucking command out for you, I even bothered to put fucking Write-Host everywhere with Colors just for your fucking sake taste.
Go fuck a pillow with your biker sunglasses.
And no, the way you cut your beard doesn’t make me think you’re 15 years younger, it makes me think you’re the kind of guy I would not accept candies outside a school.
P.s.: don’t accept candies even if the guy looks nice.1
George Hotz, the guy who hacked iPhone and Playstation 3 back in the days has made a 11 hours straight coding session some months ago.
"What in the name of hell? Why? No.. absolutely not. Jeeeesus. Holy cow!! Haha.. that's funny. No friggin way! Oh that makes sense..wait, that makes no sense. Screw it I give up."
A continuation of the worst idiot that I worked for, in possibly the worst project of the world. ( The guy who said youtube watching doesn't cost data, downloading the videos offline does)
Guy sends me a template for a patent application.. I ask him why, and he's all secretive until he takes me into a meeting with the patent officers of the organization to reveal his grand plans.
Here goes his idea. He wanted to file a patent for a sonar made for large vehicles in India. His idea was that people in India are used to overtake busses while they turn and they are overrun by the large vehicles. True to some extent but a completely overkill solution for a minor issue that could be solved by educating the masses. I try to explain this to him, and he's pissed off. Starts throwing random, made up stats at me saying 2000 people die everyday on every street. I'm like WHAT??? I look at the patent officer, and he gives me that "don't look at me dude, I'm just here for any questions about the patent process" look. He's busy doodling in his notebook while I try everything possible to invalidate the stupid idea my client has barfed all over the meeting room and the attendants. I even bring out the technical challenges leaving aside the practicality of the nonsense. I asked him how to distinguish between a pedestrian, a parked vehicle, a dog, a cow.. To which he responds with an on the spot thoughtless answer. Heat signatures!! In 5 minutes we went from sonar to heat maps in a tropical country such as India.. He now wants a hybrid solution.
He was about to start yelling when I caved in on the condition that I want nothing to do with the idea after I finish the patent application.. Made up some document and sent it to the asshole, only to never hear about it again.. Thank god for that.. R&D my ass..7
=== Was in my room when the conversation started. Thought it was a joke until i heard a knock on my door ===
[Mom:] Hey Julie, i need you to top up my PC.
[Julie(My kid Sis):] You mean update?
[Mom:] No silly, upgrade! I already have a windows 7 pro and i have just bought the disk for Windows 8 and 10 pro.
[Julie(My kid Sis):] Which should i install first.
[Mom:] You can first install the windows 10 so i can have a windows 17 pro then install the 8 to sum it up.
[Dad:] Lol, holy cow. what are you ladies discussing over there? You wanna crash the PC i just bought?
[Julie(My kid Sis):] No dad, just tryna upgrade windows.
[Dad:] Got that already! Just make sure you first uninstall before install, then after installing all and you don't get a windows 25 pro-plus, just call Giddy he's in his room or return the disks back to the vendor and get a full refund!
HOLY FUCKING COW! :D
Last year I had the best 4 months, professionaly, working on a startup here in Brazil. But due to management changes, I was laid off.
Since then I spent this time freelancing and doing odd-jobs, stressing myself and almost losing hope for good things.
Just now someone told me I was invited to an interview and return to the team again! Due to some indications! 😆✨
I couldn't be happier! But also really afraid of this interview!
But, oh boy! If it goes well, at least I'll be off the reds for a while! 😝 I'm SO happy because of that!
Going back to the team is also great! 😎4
Me, scrolling my way thru a class:
Holy motherfucking, incestloving, glueeating, cognitivedeprived cow!!! I swear whoever made this sorry excuse of a "class" should burn in the deepest, farthest, sweatiest part of the devil's arsecrack being stuck in between his arsechee---
*scroll reaches top of the class*
* @author: Me <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Oh my god, I'm basically at the verge of self-destruction! I've been trying all day to set up a simple Node server with react, but it's never that easy, is it? You need Babel to transpile ES6 + JSX to ES5, and then you need Webpack for god knows what reasons, and there are so man configuration files and options, and there are 1000 tutorials with 1001 ways to do something. I've created probably 20 new project because when I complete a tutorial and try to do something on my own, all hell is loose and I get some cryptic error message and am unable to ever get it to work. Holy cow, I need a drink... Am I just a retard? Greetings from Norway, by the way!7
"Ok, let's see what ffplay offers us ... "
* enters 'ffplay -h' into console *
(it's still running while writing this "rant")
One of my friends just royally pissed me off by deciding to repeat some crap she heard on TV about suicide being very selfish. I have depression and she's just taken a huge shit on mental health I'm. She can be a stupid cow sometimes...3
OH MY GOD REFACTORING FEELS SO AWESOME
I just finished spent 4 weeks of crazy busy summer camps and I get back to a project I was working on.
It feels so awesome to just effortlessly move stuff into methods and have it work pretty much first time.
To be fair I’m the only one working on this right now so I pretty much already knew the code but still holy cow it’s so much simpler now.
Moral of the story: Appreciate your time off and use it to unwind and let your mind wander to more creative heights before taking advantage of it after and only after you get back to the project1
So, if I was to emigrate, should I come to your country?
I'll finish my bachelors in Comp Sci next May and Ireland isn't really livable right now with property rental prices. Time to look elsewhere I think.20
A shitty internet connection and visual studio make the best of fucking friends. This is going on a half hour now.
Had to switch to my windows partition for a project and I'm not happy.
Cry for me Fedora.
When your PM is a Cow and doesn't understand ANYTHING - Just perfected an aspect of a project and then being asked to play around with something that has already been completed. ERRRRR (@NAlignak will confirm!) 🐄+💻=😤😤😤 (rant over)
Wtf is happening to tech security... Last 4 months
All WiFi is now crackable. .. in short amount of time
Windows . . Annihilated with this new bug might not be fixable... and work back on all of them
iPhones cracked ...
Linux dirty cow ...
Android been suffering.
And everyone knows Mac's security is joke ...
Finger prints ... Made pointless on everything.
Literally all going to shit .. 😐
And I know how to do all this... It's all out in the open not even hard to find8
Currently working on a GUI config generator using MFC in VS.
Firstly, fuck sake Microsoft. Why can't I just use a normal string? The amount of times I've had to do god awful conversions to/from CString using their numerous typedefs L, _T and don't even get me started on LPCTSTR, LPCWSTR... It's just ugly and tedious. I've gotten used to it and all but still, ugh.
Secondly, some of the functions are just stupid. Want to disable a control? Hmm, we'll there's a function called EnableWindow, but no DisableWindow. How did I do it before? Oh, so to disable the control it's EnableWindow(FALSE). Of course it is, duh. Why am I so stupid?
Let's use the GetWindowText function. Simples. CString something_txt = GetWindowText().
Nope, it takes the CString as a parameter and copies it into that rather than just returning the text. Now one line becomes two. I get that this is a really small semantic thing but it irks me.
I just want to go back to my fedora partition. Wah.
PS: I'm sure there's good reasons for what I'm ranting about, but I really don't care. I just need to rant about my frustrations. 😂1
So checking out this book for a few chapters i want to get over with and my friends sitting right next to me and she sees the cover has a cow on it and it said servers and she was like are you learning how to serve steak?
Getting into web dev seriously for the first time. Holy cow Angular is super neat!! But why are there two distinct versions that are apparently equally supported and present? That's like python and it's confusing and uncomfortable.
Also why is it called Angular 2 if I'm using version 5.whatever?4
while interviewing a 10 year experienced .net developer I asked, do you know Liskov substition principle.
And he was like 'what cow???'
Playing "de boerderij van Piet Precies" on an old windows 98 machine of my parents. It's a game for little children about this farmer, "piet precies", who is quite a perfectionist and has everyting on his farm go in orderly fashion, but one day his animals start to "revolt" or something, and make a big mess (a cow in his bedroom for example).
Yup, late 90's kid ☺
Simply rent a high rated rant and feel awesome at least once in life (and get free swag). Don't miss this opportunity!
Only 13.37 a month! Order cow!3
Just startet game developing (unity) on the side ! A time sink, but holy cow is it fun ! Any game devs out there?
How long did it take to master and how did you get startet ?
Had a client whom was using the staging system on my server as cdn, remote computing, etc... because his prod server was a cheap vhost while the vm was a beast compared to it. I shut it down without telling. I just got a call that his site is now slow a f and full of errors.
I kindly told him that there was a recent security breach called dirty cow. Then I told him that I shut the vm down because it would mean security risk for him since there are no patches available yet and only Power on again with there was work for me to do.
If you want resources pay for them
Just found a pokemon flavoured version of cow say! Http://github.com/possatti/... - loving your work possatti!
Fucking group projects fuck them oh so much fucking fuck fuck fuck.
What's that? You want to basically ignore the spec and do something else? Fuck.
Wait, let's not use the great resources given to us? Fucking fuck.
Oh, you're just going to ignore the fact that everyone else disagrees with you? Fuckity fuck fuck.
I am so angry. You don't get to railroad your team.
You fucker. Ugh.
I heard a rumour that India's government is planning to make COW as the official programming language.
What a time to me alive! /s2
Just upgraded to macOS High Sierra (10.13.1), and holy cow it is buggy as hell.
Some of my findings include:
1. unresponsive "cancel" button on certain dialog boxes.
2. erratic behaviour of the "show password" checkbox.
guess how is trying to downgrade until the requisite patches arrive?2
!rant with a l'il rant at the end.
Anyone have any Android games they would recommend? I just want something to help me unwind, without being baited every 10 minutes into buying upgrades or coins or whatever.
In app transactions have ruined Android games for me. It drives me insane, but, I still would like something for when I'm not bothered to boot up my ps4 and spend hours living in The Witcher.4
Part of one of the workarounds for Dirty COW is to disable ptrace.
ptrace is generally needed by debuggers.
I am team lead for L2 support at a company which makes a debugger.
RedHat are now shipping this workaround.
*ducks for cover*2
Avatar request: separate colour choice for beard.
... I'm not exactly in the 99%, but my beard hair isn't the same colour as my head hair. 😂5
Not learning to unit test as I was embarrassed that'd I'd missed it in college.
Now, thanks to a great ruby module I've taken this year, I'm leaning towards TDD. I really enjoy it.
spilt coffee on my good mechanical keyboard and it fried something because it keeps typing random letters... I've been reduced back to working on a membrane keyboard and my God is it less satisfying...8
Statically linking to qt5 is quickly driving me fucking insane.
I've a list of unresolved dependencies during linking longer than a really long fucking list. Ugh.
Cmake, why can't you save me?
Think I'll just go back to dynamic and build on each needed system.1
A few days ago, I thought, "I haven't updated React dependencies since. So, let's do it". Because, its gonna be a new demo app, I just ran "npx create-react-app my-app" and npm start inside the project. Holy cow!! It doesn't even start!!
Its showing this unknown error! So, I googled. but after trying a lot of "Solutions" it still doesn't work. So, I just gave up and thinking, "What about the Frameworks/Libraries build on top of ReactJS? Do the also have the same problem?"
So, I created a NextJS project and you guessed it, The same error exists in the NextJS projects. Then I tried the popular boilerplates created using NextJS ( and React) and Volla! They also contain the same error!
Ugghhh! I thought, tonight I'm gonna play with NextJS a little bit. But unfortunately, because of this React Error, I can't :(4
Tablet recommendations? I know this isn't really the place to ask but I trust you devs.
I'm just about to start back college and I'd like to have a light carry around for days I don't need my laptop. I love my 17" Dell, it's a beast and that's why I bought it but damn it's overkill for taking notes and running little things through a bash terminal. A tablet and keyboard seems like a nice idea.
Ideally, I wanna run Linux. But I'm not sure if there's a commercial tablet that facilitates OS changes easily out of the box.
No iPad. Not an apple fan, and it's just not what I'm after.
The MS surface seems pretty good, but I haven't looked too deeply into replacing the OS.
I just want a nice Linux tablet. I dunno.
Is the current humble book bundle of any use? Dev ops by Packt. Lots of docker and kubernetes stuff.
Was using an open source piece of software for data storage and visualisation to work with the loggers my company makes. When importing old data for historical views, some of the csv imports would fail without any specific error messages.
It took me a couple of hours but after looking at their csv parser and making my own little one to test with, I eventually found out that it was all down to the way datatime (I think it was?) in java deals with DST, which apparently was to just fuck shit up.
Anyhow, a few simple lines added into the parser later and it all works just fine.
Was super proud of that one as it was the first time I actually looked somewhat good in front of my senior dev.
Took few weeks break from coding, social media and stuff like that. And holy cow things have changed. Over 9k new rants here, bunch of new js frameworks, Instagram got some security issues..
I'm just amazed.7
Just did some really satisfying refactoring. Much happier with my work now. Its a little cli app to poll M-bus devices and write the data to file if the user wants. Can scan the whole range, search for specific devices and VIFE codes, parse an input file for lots of the previous data and one or two other things.
How's everyone's else's weekend?
Something to keep you eyes occupied:
while true; do fortune | cowsay -f "$(find /usr/share/cowsay/ -iname "*.cow" | xargs shuf -n1 -e)"; sleep 10; done
Soooo, badges. They seem to have some prevalence in the open source community. I'd love to earn some from fedora. One day!
Anyone have any fun ones to show off?2
So I had a pet goat... He was this one developer that would walk around and bother people all day. We called him a goat because of the way he would move his mouth and smack during long pauses, like a goat or cow would do with a mouth full of grass.
In the spirit of the latest dirty cow Linux cve lets hear dev rants favourite dirty Linux command
$ man touch