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Search - "numb"
Sometimes I sit in awkward positions while coding. I once stood up at the office, took one step and fell to the floor because my leg was numb. They almost gave me a medal.3
I have never been so depressed in my life. Today I felt so sick, tired and numb.
All of the things broke today. I'm currently numb as I'm experiencing every emotion possible. I need alcohol and a beach. And no human interaction.12
Today I got a standing aviation by panel in my final year projects presentation. It was such an emotional moment and I went numb. I don't have an impressive grades so it meant a lot to me. I just wanted to share this somewhere please bear with me.
And to anyone out there who think that they can't make it, please just keep going. I just want to say, make your journey beautiful. If you love doing it, you won't care to reach some destination.17
So I got an e-mail from a recruiter (a.k.a. recruiter spam) today looking for a candidate with four "essential skills" and my head almost exploded when I read what they were. I have regained my composure just enough to be able to write this rant, but I'm still not myself. I recommend sitting down for this. Are you ready?
The four "essential skills" were:
Java, Jenkins, Eclipse, IntelliJ
I don't know where to begin. Motherfucker, where do you get off telling me which IDE to use? Oh wait, you didn't, you expected me to be an "expert" with two completely different ones, you numb nuts. Why the fuck would I be? I swear to fuck these idiots would probably screen out the best programmer in the world because s/he uses VI/emacs/Atom/Sublime/fucking-Notepad.
I can hear them saying "oh, you don't know IntelliJ? Sorry, we need an expert in that."
Fuck off you filthy cunt! No, sorry, I take that back, I shouldn't be mean to the mentally disabled.
Also, Jenkins? Really? Any developer can pick up how to use Jenkins to its full effect in a matter of hours, or a couple of days at most.
Why do companies hire these jackasses to do a job as important as recruitment? Why do they write job specs that are so incredibly stupid? I almost replied to express interest so I could go to the interview and throw a bucket of red paint on them (because they're making me bleed inside).
Where's the Tylenol?5
My life could get worse, but it's really shitty now.
Suffering from a serious back injury since last year, my health has been not so positieve lately.
It put a toll on my mood, which in turn asked it's price regarding my relationship. Needless to say that did not go well. Already a fe months single but we kept in touch.
Three days ago my back injury returned, and was unable to lead a normal life. Constant pain, coyld not even move in the house. Even going to the toilet was a terrible experience because when you move, you're in a world of pain.
I asked my ex girlfriend to help me, since she was the only one having a key to my house.
When she arrived i hoped to have some moral support and to help me mive around, ensuring i would not injure myself any more.
Instead i received the cold shoulder. When she wanted to help pe up she did it a bit too hard and the pain sheered thrpughout my body. Screaming in pain.
She promptly left, leaving keys behind.
The hardest part is that she just left without me being able to explain clearly why i screamed. She thought i was yelling at her while in reality i was yelling due to the immense pain.
After that i had to cut ties forever. Tabula rasa. So i removed everything that is related to that time and locked it in my vault.
Since then i can hardly focus, my mibd is numb and i cannot think straight. The alcohol and other sedatives are probably also involved, but still i feel my life is a mountain of depressing shit.
Needed to vent. And yes i post this because i have a need for some understanding, yes for now i crave for some attention and some encouraging, supportive words. I'm left With no other options since the person i wanted it from the most has simply left... And the fact i am unable to actually be social outside...
Fuck friends and relationships, right?13
I happen to be the only girl in my small dev team of 4 males plus me.
I'm freaking tired of hearing 'hey guys','how are you doing guys', 'what's the update guys' in every meeting/call when one of them is addressing the rest of us.
Yeah i know I/they can't do anything about it. I somehow grew numb to hearing it, but sometimes hearing it one thousand time in a single call is driving me crazy.
I once mentioned it to an a senior dev who happens to be the one using the g word the most during meeting.
Me: could you please stop saying guys all the time, I'm not a guy.
Him: what do you want me to say, 'hey guys and a girl?!'
Me: ... -_- (internally: seriously!!)
I hate working from home. I'm lonely, bored, feel ignored by my leadership, and have so many additional complications with connectivity that don't exist when working on site. I have the chance to almost double my salary in this buyout, but I also really really hope my other job applications give me options2
We broke up. I'm pretty numb.
Edit: felt it's a good idea to say that it's the same GF I wrote about a while ago.26
Boss: [tells me to do a thing]
Me: [does a thing]
Boss: [mad because I didn't do the thing his way]
Me: [physically numb from putting up with this shit for 3y now]
I've been checked out at work for awhile now, but today was some next level BS. I had to throw together an application demo in 3hr, couldn't take lunch today because I needed to sign for a package, sold an 3y old laptop on Ebay (and got chewed out because he thinks it's worth more than that).
The only reason I still show up to this shit-show of an office, is I don't want to leave my only other coworker with our boss.. That, and my interview isn't until monday....2
I can’t tell what’s cheap anymore. This salary is making me numb and I’m forgetting my low income roots. I saw a video of a girl who rented an apartment in Seoul Korea for $500.
Is that cheap? I don’t know??? Don’t ask me???14
I'm wondering - do developers have similar hobbies outside of IT?
For example, my main hobbies are:
- Brewing Beer
- Distilling Spirits
- Drinking copius amounts of alcohol to numb the pain of being a developer
- Gardening / Horticulture
- Martial Arts31
TLDR: Read the post.
Bare with me here, I am new to all of this jazz. But I wanted to tell a story.
I have been a programmer for a while now, working on various projects with various companies, doing various things. I know that sounds vague, but it's the truth.
I never work on the same thing, ever, I never work with any fancy IDE, because I don't need one. I personally believe no developer works with the massive huge code base all at once, but instead works on it in pieces. That's a story for another day.
I have seen the shittiest of the shittiest and some how survived, I have been beaten down by code bases that were out sourced yet some how managed to stand up and gain my baring and fight back. I have dealt with clients, bosses and idiots from A-Z. Watching them all scramble around for their pennies like greedy rich white men seeking more pennies to swim in.
Some how I survived all this. I started working from home almost 3 years ago, the freedom is exhilarating. The ability to fuck off for most of the day and work at night, or work all morning and fuck off. There's nothing better.
As you work from home you think, this will be amazing. Until the crippling loneliness takes over and even the 6th bottle of beer doesn't quench the thirst of human contact. The pain of being trapped in the four white walls of your office makes that bottle of tequila, to numb out the emptiness inside look more satisfying.
At some point, you crawl out of your space to find people to interact with, refusing to be beaten down by both shit code and loneliness only to find all your friends, family and significant others are working, in offices, where they cant just fuck off for a day with you. The silence of the house, the office, the what ever becomes deafening.
its crawling all over you like bugs that pick away at your mind, breaking you, hating you. So you decide that a coffee shop is the best place, only to sit there and people watch or check Facebook or what ever else people do at coffee shops that isn't actually work.
The point in all of this, is that working from home is both a positive and a negative. It has destroyed me, created a workaholic and, probably, an alcoholic. There isnt a day I dont wish that I could sleep away the deafening silence of the world around me as every one busies off to the office.
One might think: get an office job, but I have become accustomed to my misery, pain and suffering of working from home, isolated and medicated by vaping and alcohol. the freedom, from what I have found, is worth more then the sacrifice of it - to work around people I slowly begin to hate, people that make me want to overdose on anything rather then see their smug faces and be beaten down by their idiotic words, code bases and money grubbing hands...
I guess I'll get back to work now, in my house, with my cats, my vape and my beer. Here's to freedom and the sacrifices that go along with it.5
I am a simple person, and i life by simple rules. Doing all necessary tasks of the day eat/sleep/work/socialize. Keeping myself and people around me in a good shape, without bothering anyone.
And then i see the majority of humanity. wasting their existance, poising their body making their brain numb with smoking, drinking and all sorts of drugs, caring only for themself and bothering others.
Please fellow devs rais your kids properly, dont let them become a worse generation then what was the last 50 years. Give them the present of logical thinking and show them kindness while also showing them the harshness of life.11
Rewrote to be shorter:
I’m always shocked when I wake up and the headline news on my phone is that a bunch of controlled tests got a ton of weapons through TSA. And this is public news on the front page of the goddamn paper WHY exactly? Are people fucking stupid? I’m starting to think the average IQ of humans is like 8. Maybe 8 and a half. This is like the fourth time in the last decade that they have written this on the front page of the paper. Why do they want people to know TSA doesn’t work THAT badly? I just don’t understand how anybody’s intellect could be that numb.8
Big Brand Company
Wasted 2 days on induction about what to do and how to do.
After 2 days, Reach at workplace and called my line manager (LM). after 2 3 calls, he pick the phone and said please reach to 3.2L5
Now what the heck is this term how the hell I know what means by this magical number. It was never told in the induction that what building name is denoted with.
Called LM again and now LM annoyed at me and said to enter into building and ask for XYZ person ..I asked whom I need to ask..He said ask anybody..
When I enter I ask a security guard there and he was like numb...There are fucking 5000 people in the company.How someone will know by name..Is that guy is superstar or something?
Again called the LM, Now he yelled at me. ..Why you are asking the security guard ..I said he do not allow me to enter so what I need to do..I requst him to please guide me as I am new and nervous here..
Again no luck ..Asked already 4 to 5 people..
Finally one guy who also joined with me, helped me to reach the guy.
LM was actually running late and when he reach, I came near to him 2 greet ans he again shouted with loud voice " What are you doing man"
I distinctly remember all of us discussing how we prefer to work at night. I worked through the night and now about to work through the day. Now it's all a blur and I feel numb inside. This voice keeps saying "you are just a machine" and then I wake up with qwerty stamped on my forehead and the music bringing me back. Time to work!2
I'm freaked out like I have never been freaked out before. My pinky finger (don't know what the actual name for it is) started to get itchy about two days ago and steadily got worse and now it's gotten to the point that it's almost numb and vibrates constantly. I guess it's because I use my laptop's keyboard and repeatedly use Shift or Ctrl keys. Anyways just wanted to share my panicky day with you all and wish you healthy fingers.
P.S. I ordered an ergonomic keyboard just today but still, you know how much we need our fingers, I have the right to panic here!6
When working on a schoolproject I actually managed to do loads of work in a night when I was mad drunk.
Two days later I met with the project group again at school and I remembered I did something with the project, but had not the slightest idea anymore.
My project group showed up all excited that a lot of bugs were resolvee and we finally had something really nice working in the frontend thanks to me. It was a similar feeling to waking up when your arm/hand is numb and on your face and you have no clue whats going on, at first youre scared and later it was a damn cool experience.
Fucking fuck... My exams are over, today was the last paper(IoT) and it was quite good and I wrote enough to get pass the examination.
While coming home my flip flop got fucked, had fight with gf after 2hours, decided to go and work on my Electron project but MY FUCKING LIFE IS PLAYING WITH ME, MY FUCKING MONITOR IS NOW DEAD.... FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE.
😢😢 I'm so fucking sad that I'm feeling fucking numb, emotion less. My fucking mind is blank and now I'm having headaches.... Fml2
Responding to a numb sales guys joke with "do you know the best about UDP jokes? - I don't care if you don't get it! " ...turnin around left the hallway... Unbeatable
(a slide acoustic guitar plays on the background and the cowboy starts speaking)
It was a dry october day, back in good old 2017. I had this job from a client that I never met and was doing some coding for money.
After days of no sleep, no food and no rest, I finally decided to take a nap so I paused my music.
It was at this moment I found out my machine was making funny noises. Like a dingo makin' a run from it's enemies with a whelping noise.
Clicked on my computer and tried to find an ol' file from the archive drive but the machine won't let me, sayin' the disk ain't ready yet.
I tried disk manager, disk scanner, whatever the tools at my disposal all in vain. Then I said what the hell, I'll just restart my machine and it'll be alright.
The machine rebooted but the disk was gone. It was dead like a deer I ran over. I was upset, but not aware of the calamity headin' my way.
In just a few days my other 2 disks died suddenly. The loss of data, all the effort, none of them mattered. I felt numb and decided it was time for a fresh start.
Plugged in a Windows install disk, started the sequence, a screen came up askin' me which damned and alive disk I wanna install the fresh OS. I had two same make and model SSD disks, chose the one thinkin' it was the Windows drive, hell it wasnt... It was with all "my documents", "downloads", "pictures" folders and now I had two SSD drives with two Windows installations and nothing else.
The folks in town took a dab at me for months, even the bartender of the salloon refused to give me a drink. Sayin' it was a matter of reputation...
Turned out the bastard who fried my disks was the Madde Dog PSU Tannen who had a bad temper so here I am, tellin' my story to milk breathers and cherishing old days of data...3
I don't know why but the inside of my nostrils were numb for the past two days.. It's weird.
My senses get numb when I'm tired and I won't really feel senses like touching properly but staying numb for such a long time is very rare for me. 🤔1
Started new job as software developer in a financial institution... Have to learn c#, c# devs here any good tips??7
Do ergonomic keyboards and mice help?
Yesterday I went through 6 hour maintenance without a break which involved a lot of typing and clicking.... (Because shit never works properly on live server, right?)
And now my right shoulder through my wrist feels numb.
I'm thinking maybe it's time to give up on 'gaming' rigs...
What are your thoughts?
Or should I just stretch more often?3
Java is perfect if you are a narcissistic egomaniac with OCD who has to declare a data type for every variable. Back to python11
Have you ever hit Ballmers Peak, only to fly past it but still keep coding? Sometimes it's an adventure looking at the code the next day. Three steps forward, one step back I say!2
TLDR: Read the post.
Part of me watches the day fly by as I work through the various stories and issues my company has as we walk through the various phases and clean up of their own stupidity of outsourcing. I guess it would be unfair to say “stupidity” It was really a money thing. Excuses aside, the alcohol today tastes amazing as I work through the issues, nothing is ever the same, nothing is ever redundant or boring. There are times where you want to pull your hair out, jump off a building and question why the hell any one would write code, specifically Laravel this way.
I watch the internet from now and then and see the cry babies whine and complain about GitHub and Microsoft jumping into bed and their favourite, and mine too, editor falling into Microsoft’s hands.
It’s disgusting and completely childish, but I digress. The last time I was here the alcoholism and the loneliness had begun pushing me towards the Nicotine and suicide. I have managed to obviously push through and watch the money come in only for adult life to take it away, I guess that’s life. Complaining about it will do nothing other then show others how much control you lack in your own life. You quiet your complaints and bury them deep inside your mind where they fester and stir and become drowned in alcohol.
Dating is even harder, especially when you work from home, so much so that I have completely given up there, any semblance of social life is buried in Final Fantasy 14 online, where pixels and text other people write have become my friend, at least for a moment or two before the work takes over and I sit in a room blaring music and watching the code I write, appear on screen like some savant who has high functioning autism but can create amazing works of art. I don’t think I am autistic though.
The truth is I don’t mind my job, I love the money and the freedom as I stated before.
Code for me is like a seed of anger that starts deep in my core, festering, eating away at me, killing me slowly and branding me a fool. The problem is the best feeling, when there is a problem I can solve it with code, when there is a problem that cannot be solved by code I take solace in the problems that can be. I don’t like people, I hate offices and I despise dealing with my own personal issues, I would rather drink and vape until the nicotine and the alcohol has made me sufficiently numb.
Code is a place I can escape, a place I have control, a place where I don’t feel like blowing my brains out at the stupidity of other people. Have I mentioned that I hate people?
The internet is full of idiots, people ranting and raving about this and that and how it affects them oh so much, when they don’t even let their own code, there own programming problems, and in most cases shitty solutions, affect them. Look at this GitHub thing, the idiots are running around with their heads cut off, waiting for the world to end or in most cases acting like it has. Companies get bought, bill get paid, people leave each other – Shut the fuck up and deal with it.
I guess if you look back at what I have written you could say the same thing to me, boo-fucking-hoo working from home sucks sometimes, grow up and deal with it like an adult. Fair enough, I’ll take my lumps. Excuse me as I continue to drink this post away and watch the downvotes come in. I guess honesty comes with a double edge sword.
And yes I would rather use alcohol as a solution then deal with the issues.16
Anyone else got numb/tingling feeling in your index and pinky finger?
It was fine during my holiday, came back and this again just after 2 days behind the desk...15