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Her: Hey, just heard what John did to you.
Me: Yea. I can't believe he screwed me over like that. I thought he was my friend.
Her: Don't worry. Forget about the bustard. You know #FFF
Me: 🙁 #FFF? What does white got to do with all this.
Her: What???
Me: #FFF. This is white.
Her: Nooooo. It means Fuck Fake Friends. As in the G. Eazy song.
Me: Ohhh😐23 -
This shit is real.
Guy comes to my desk.
Guy: Do you know Python?
Me: Yes
Guy: I want a program that reads a CSV containing IP addresses and tells which of them are valid.
Me: Sure thing. Show me the CSV file.
Guy: (Shows the file)
Me: (Writes a small function for checking whether the IP is valid)
Me: Done Here you go.
Guy: You should be using regex.
Me: Why? This is perfect. No need for regex.
Guy: My manager wants a solution using regex only.
Me: Why so?
Guy: I don't know. Can you do it using regex?
Me: Only if you say so. (Stackoverflow. Writes a humongous regex). Done!
Me: Just for curiosity, what is your application?
Guy: I will port it in Java. You see, regex is easy to debug.
Me: Ohhh Yes. I forgot that. Good luck with your regex.22 -
Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.
Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>
I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.15 -
I deleted my Facebook so now you guys have to like the photo I just took.
Ohhh and have a great fuckin' weekend, you fucks.
21 -
BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.18 -
Conversation with my mom the other day:
Mom - How do you use the screenshot button on the keyboard? (She has a Windows work laptop)
Me - Just press it.
Mom - I did that! It didn't do anything.
Me - Lol it's not supposed to do anything. It takes a picture of whatever is on your screen and you have to paste it somewhere like Paint to save the image.
Mom - Ohhh that's too much work. I use Snippit (or whatever the built in Windows screenshot app is called) and send it to myself in an email.
-------------------------
She takes a screenshot, pastes it in an email, and sends it to herself to save it. Hm.
Then she told me tonight that she needed to screenshot these questions in a quiz she was taking. I kid you not - she took a screenshot of 2 questions at a time, pasted them in an email that she sent to herself, and then printed the email. She did this for 40 questions so she printed out 20 emails with screenshots of quiz questions. She also printed out the 200 page manual she needs to study and deleted the pdf. Mom, seriously? What if you need to find something in that 200 page manual? It's so much easier to ctrl + F to find a specific word or phrase. Ohh it doesn't matter she says, there's an index.21 -
This week I quit the corporate life in favour of a much smaller company (60 people in total) and i never felt so good.
After 3 years in 2 big corporations, I began to hate coding mainly because of:
- internal political games. It's like living inside House of Cards everyday.
- management and non-tech people choosing tech stacks. Angular 4 + Bootstrap 4 alpha version + AG-Grid + IE11. Ohhh yeah. Not.
- overtime (even if it was paid double). I never did a single minute of OT for fixing something that I caused. I spent days fixing things caused by others and implementing promises that other people made.
- meetings. I spend 50-60% of the time in pointless meetings (I tracked them in certain time intervals) but the workload is same like I was working 8 hours / day.
- working in encapsulated environments without access to internet or with limited access to internet (no GitHub, no StackOverflow etc.)
- continuously changing work scope. Everyday the management wants something new introduced in the current sprint/release and nobody accepts that they have to remove other things from the scope in order to proper implement everything.
- designers that think they are working for Apple and are arguing with things like "but it's just a button! why does it take 2 days to implement?"
- 20 apps installed additionally on my phone (Citrix Receiver, RSA Token, Mobile@Work Suite etc.) just to be able to read my email
- working with outdated IDEs and tools because they have to approve every new version of a software.
- making tickets for anything. Do you want a glass of water? Open a ticket and ask for it.
- KPIs. KPIs everywhere. You don't deserve anything because the KPIs were not accomplished.
The bad part of the above things is that they affect your day-to-day personality even if you don't see it. You become more like a rock with almost 0 feelings and interests.
This is my first written "rant". If anyone is interested, I will post different situations that will explain a lot of the above aspects.13 -
<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**8 -
Got a call from a recruiter today. (Keep in mind that using WhatsApp is about a requirement over here.)
R: so can I app you (I hate that word to the fucking point) with further details?
Me: *oh fuck this is gonna get me fucked again* uhm I don't use it so yah...
R: ohhh okay, security reasons?
Me: *slight relief* yes indeed, sir
R: oh fair enough, you can always just text and call me!
*very relieved feeling*
It's for either a cyber security or linux job by the way.29 -
Had this conversation with a friend a while ago (not dev related). He convinced me to start working on a design! (detail: he doesn't know me well, know him through a best friend but I consider him a friend)
Friend: *shows new tattoo* what ya think?
Me: awesome man! I still idk maybe want a tattoo too...
Friend: ohhh! What of?
Me: uhm well... my favourite music genre... uhm...
Friend: what's up with your doubts?
Me: well.... everyone always tells me not to tattoo anything relating to music because musical taste cab change easily...
Friend: may I guess the genre?
Me: yeah sure :)
Friend: hardstyle, maybe raw hardstyle/rawstyle?
Me: yup!
Friend: well why wouldn't you get a tattoo of it?!
Me: well, I mean what if my taste changes?
Friend: dude. do you have the slightest clue how fucking happy/energetic you look when you hear that music?! It'd be hard to imagine you losing your love for that genre! And if then, then what? That genre has gotten you through the darkest places, most difficult times and has pretty much made you into the person you are right now, even if you'd change factories genres, it'd be a reminder of how you beat getting bullied and became the person you are now!
Me: yeah.... but everyone keeps telling me that its not a good ide..'
Friend: fuck them. You love this music to the fucking point, you told me earlier that you'd like to start producing it!
Fuck those people. If you'd like it, go get that fucking tattoo!
I love that guy!
Anyone into electronic music production here? I could use some tips 😅14 -
Lord forgive me for laughing too hard at this person/situation... I kid you NOT!
So today while everything was going well, we suddenly had network issues at work. We worked to get everything back up online asap and then sent out an email for those affected to either restart their machines or refresh their desktops but we recommend restarting... After some few client calls, this special call came in..
Riiing, riiiiiing, ring....
Me: hi, how can help you?
Client: *laughing.. This is probably a stupid question but I forgot how to "refresh" my desk top..the thing is, I have Febreeze but I don't think that's for desk tops.
Me: Wait, what? 🤔 Febreeze for what?😕
Client: You guys sent an email to refresh our desk tops and I said I have Febreeze so how will that get my things in the computer back to show again?
Me: Ohhh, no no. We meant your computer desktop. You don't need Febreeze. Right click anywhere on your computer in the screen and select refresh from the pop up menu. We meant your computer "desktop" not your actual "desk top".
Client: *starts laughing...I told you it was a stupid question
Me: don't worry.. It wasn't stupid.
After I hang up, some of my team members asked me why someone is asking about Febreeze...I told them and they all started laughing hysterically
I was still trying to digest the conversation I had just have on the phone. 😂😂😂12 -
Notification: someone you know is on Instagram
Me: ohhh? Are they? Fucking good for them then ain't it. Least they're not on fucking heroin...7 -
Saw a silent mouse. No clicking noise.
Ohhh thats pretty cool I guess.
Tested the silent one and normal one.
Liked the normal one because it has clicking noises.2 -
You know what drives me crazy.. seen this inside code of "senior devs"
If(something() == true){
// do something
}
Dude!!! The if only happens if its true!
Code this..
If(something()){
// do something
}
OHHH but if i say something I GET IN TROUBLE.4 -
Me: *Sends link to mate about netgear vulns because he just bought a netgear thingy*
Mate: Doesn't affect me, I ordered a switch, not a router!
Me: Ohhh so you're going to 'switch' away from routers!
Mate: Ba
Mate: Dum
Mate: I'm not even going to finish this *sigh*
I was enjoying this way too much :P1 -
Do you know this?
You are the small guy, you are dancing the whole evening with a girl and then a big asshole comes around, h
Judges you and want to be better that you?
Than je comes and insult you?
Damn that's the moment, when self defense save your life. :)
He tried to punch me, but then underrated my skills 😌
Ohhh man I love karma😌🤗7 -
Someone at work snuck something past the censors.
Our Hadoop servers all have "bigd" in their name 😂5 -
Ohhh Apple.... At this point you might as well change your logo to 🖕 with the motto, "Apple, coz FUCK YOU"
8 -
Java: Cannot convert int to Boolean.
Me: Wait what?.. Ohhh *cries*
I've had too much Vitamin C / C++..
Not used to computer liking me and not letting me shot my head of.. I love you too, Java ..3 -
Really fed up with my colleague and possibly my job. Am starting to doubt am cut out to be a developer
Am a junior java dev , been working working for this company for about 2 years now. Although they hired me to be a java dev, they pretty much exclusively had me working on JavaScript crap because none of the other more senior devs wanted to do even so much as poke JS with a long stick....
Oh and the salary was crap but i figured since i had barely 3 years of exp i thought i would stick with it for a while
But a few months ago after seeing other opportunities I got fed up and threatened to quit , already started interviewing etc
Got an offer, not exactly what i wanted but better than where i was. Went to quit but they freaked out and started throwing money at me. They matched and exceed the other salary and promised to addressed the issues that made me want to leave. Ie get me to work more on the java side of the project and have me work with someone more senior who could sort of mentor me, i had been working semi solo on the js shit till then...
The problem is that my supposed mentor is selfish prick... he is the sort of guy who comes in real early, basically he goes to early morning prayer then come in at some ungodly hour and fuckoff home around 3pm
He does all his work early morning then spends the rest of the day with his headphones on stealthily watching youtube, amazon, watching cricket, reading about Palestine , how oppressed muslims are or building a website for some mosque.
I asked him to let me sit with him so that I could just learn how this or that part of the sys worked , he agreed then the very next day comes in and does all the work before i get in at 9 , i asked him how he did it and he tells me oh just read the code.
Its not as simple as that, out codebase is an old pile of non standard legacy dog shit. Nothing works as it should, i tried to go through documentation online for the various stuff we use , but invariably get stuck when i try the usual approach because it turns out the original devs had essentially done a lot of custom hacks and cowboy coding to get stuff working, they screwed around with some of the framework jars & edited libraries to get stuff to work, resulting in some really weird OSGI errors.
My point is that i cant really just "read the code" or google ...
I gotta know a bit more what was actually modified and a lot of this knowledge isn't fucking documented, theres a lot of " ohhh that weird bug yeah yeah that happens cuz x did this hack some years ago to fix this issue and we kinda built on it, yeah we weren't supposed to do that but heyyy what u gonna do, just do this or that instead"
I was asked to set up a web service to export something, since thats his area of expertise and he is suppose to be teaching me the ropes, i asked him to explain where i should start and what would the general workflow be, his response is to tell me to just copy the IMPORT service and rename it to export then "just do it um change it or something" very helpful indeed (building enterprise application here nothing complex at all!!)
He sits right next to me so i can see how much works he actually does, i know when he just idly sitting there so thats when i ask him questions, he always has his earphones on so each time i gotta find a way to get his attention with a poke or a wave, he will give a heavy sigh and a weary look as he removes his headphones, listen to my question then give me the shortest answer possible before IMMEDIATELY turning away and putting his headphones on as fast as possible regardless of whether I actually understood or even heard what he said. If i ask another question ( am talking like an immediate follow up question for a clarification or something) he will
Do the whole sigh + tired look routing to make me know yeah you are disturbing me. ( god was so happy the day he accidentally sat on and broke them)
Yesterday i caught a glance at his screen as i was sitting down and i think he and another dev were talking about me
That am slow with my work and take forever to get into gear.
Starting to have doubts about my own ability n wether am really cut out to be a developer. I know i can work hard but its impossible to do so when you have no clue where to start and unable to look it up since all the custom hacks doesn't really allow any frame of reference.
Feels like am being handicapped and mocked, yesterday i just picked up my gear n left the office.
I never talk ill about my colleagues, whenever i have a 121 with my mgr i always all is fine, x n y are really helpful etc
I tried to indirectly tell my other colleague about this guy, he told me that guy had kinda mentally checked out of this job and was just going through on auto pilot and just laughed it off (they have been working together for almost a decade and a buddies) my other colleague is pretty nice but he usually swamped with work so i feel bad to trouble him.
Am really Fed up with it all7 -
Ohhh! That feeling when you quit your stupid job . Now i can say whatever the fuck i want to my boss and his loyal bitches. Without giving a flying fuck.
Sorry, i get so excited.5 -
I get about 4-5 hours sleep. Like today: I went to work, made my lunch at work, got changed for football, played football from 7-9pm got home at 9:30, cooked, ate, showered and dried my hair and it's now 1am.
Tomorrow I got football training for another team so again I'll be getting into be at about 1am.
Also I forgot go mention ive got to get up at 6 for work And Friday I have to be at the doctors for 7. Yeyyyyy me!!! Don't even ask me about the weekend...
I feel like this classifies as a rant because I don't get to code at the weekends and it kills me 😡😡 especially when I want to contribute to certain packages and said I would. So fuck you social life. Fuck. You.
Ohhh and those fucking 'friends' that guilt trip you into seeing them because "you haven't seen me in ages 😢😢" there's a reason for that Barbra (keeping her identity secret) I'm fucking depressed and tired. Fuck the fuck right off.8 -
Ohhh boys, even the frame broke off *shit*. C'mon boy pls just stay with me you have been with me for just 4 years .
5 -
I am tired of my idiot ‘friends’ asking me if I can hack Facebook Instagram etc. because some other idiot made them mad. Like fuck no. 1 it’s unethical as hell 2 it’s illegal I don’t want to go to jail. 3 I’m learning cyber security NOT hack stuff because someone hurt your useless feelings.
Ohhh and they always get pissed off when I explain everything wrong with their idiotic request10 -
Worst and only experience is the reason I moved away from programming...
25 years ago I was hired to copy a phone book list to a access database.
Access back then would create lots of garbage, so I would add 3 to 5 entries before access crashed (shitty p133 laptop with 32mb ram running windows 98.
So I made a visual basic program to add data and work around the problem.
I offered said program to the guy really cheap and would still make it better.
Did also a admin module since he had hired dozens of people and I knew he would have problems peasing the databases together.
And... Dude cancels the deal.
I get a job, 2 weeks later he calls me... Ohhh I don't know how to get all the databases together...
Me: I'm working now, the program I did solved said problem. I trew the code away. Deal with it. -
I don't know why but every time I look at a clock and it says 20:15 I always think like ohhh it's the current year. I then realize that it's not 2015 anymore. Am I the only one who does this?7
-
Right now, I'm tracing a bug that causes some of our data to be lost.
and I found a table with 'xxx' field on it. ohhh. what is it for?17 -
ohhh after replacing HP logo on my pc with devrant stickers now i want my stresss ball wooohhhh...1
-
Ohhh, I get it. Apple thinks it isn't getting enough money from us by selling us one iMac, so it wants to sell us a second one by making the first one's memory physically non-upgradeable via soldered memory even though the software says it _could_ be upgraded.2
-
I don’t care what you children think.. but sitting in my cabin on the river, sitting on the deck, writing code listening to 50s and early 60s music ... Those high pace fast songs ohhh nothing beats it....
https://open.spotify.com/user/...15 -
Company paid 1,500 usd per laptop (dell somethings) for them to just be azure access clients
We can't use outlook or teams. Or even IDEs on them to take advantage of the really good cpu and ram. We have to use the OTHER company device for that stuff
Ohhh and all our azure stuff is getting mac restricted so only the new laptops can access so basically forced to jump back and forth all damn day
Sometimes I feel companies enjoy wasting money3 -
So my Bank Account Number ends with 1 and I had given my details to a person for processing some amount. He got the number wrong and put 0 instead of 1 at the end. After exchanging mails regarding the delay in processing , i got to know about the problem.
So i called him and said - "So i can see that you have got the A/c number wrong. Because you have set the rightmost bit to 0 and it should be 1. umm sorry , i mean - it ends with 1 and not 0 !"
He takes a pause and says - "Ohhh! Really Sorry about that. I will fix it ASAP. And your coffee is on me. Just consider it one's compliment! "2 -
Stack Overflow people have profound buffallo bullcrap on their skulls, they are some software engineers who have fucked COBOL and BASIC, probably somewhere like NASA, just pondering out where someone post a question. They're probably some etilist cult banging a prostitute while delivering that awful downvote imitating the slap they give the chick during sex. They desire questions such as
"RANDOM_fuck_module_Abdul.method() not working in python" or "how to dock the dock by undocking" (tagged: AWS). Not things like "why does the audio tag not work in a PC but works in w3school tester?" or a genuine programming question. Fuck.
We don't tail recurse or loop abc for k in godfuck loops, huh? We make simple things as: a form, a http request to dell.
I hope there penises get rotten in the hell. Period.
this is just a part of SO.13 -
Me: After i learn objective-c i'll be a ninja!
Next day....
Friend: ....you will also need a graph database for your app. Cypher is easy to learn...
Me: ...ohhh cypher you say1 -
after a vast number of emails, phone calls and cross-client tests with a customer, because „the light grey background of the new template magically disappeared“.... I had one final idea!
me: „could you please turn the contrast knob on your monitor?“
reaction of the customer: „OHHH.......“
🤦🏻♂️ -
grandparents: "why can't you fix our tv? I thought you did this kind of tech stuff for a living!?"
me: "no, I build websites"
grandparents: "...."
me: "I make the internet on computers?"
grandparents: "ohhh...so could you fix our speakers? they have the blue tooth, which has the Internet, right?"
me: /facepalm2 -
I've been creating my Typescript/C# projects using SOLID principles. Whenever someone randomly joins me in my projects at work, i feel they need a lot of help. Specially since they know programming, but are not familiar with SOLID.
Like ohhh ok you created a base class for that, or ohhh that method already exists in the base class sorry i've implemented it again, or ohhhh ok you already implemented this method in that class.
The more classes i create the more complicated it becomes, sometimes for me too!
I feel I have to write a documentation for the code I write just to keep up with the different, but code changes/augments so writing a doc is really time consuming.
However if i didnt create base classes or interfaces it would be less complicated to browse through method definitions.
I am happy with the code like that though, but in some specific times it's a pain in the ass.
Comments?2 -
(Part 1/2?)
Ohhh my god am I furious and this one's a gem.
Also I'm gonna namespoil all of the entities in my post. If this is against rant rules I'll reframe it.
So the story starts over an year ago. Me, being in a bad place, where I couldn't do a job due to external issues, wanted to try out an internship. Thought I could pull off a 5 hour shift and then attend to my problems.
THE INTERNSHALA ARC:
I apply to a bunch of applications on Angel, Internshala and Indeed.
I was contacted by a few handful of these places. One of them was called "ARCHITECTA SOFTWARE SOLUTIONS". These guys had arranged an online aptitude test for me which I promptly took.
I looked up this company and they seemed like a pretty okay big firm from the outset but didn't have many reviews on Glassdoor and likes of such. (first red flag). Post aptitude test, I was quite sure I fucked up and wouldn't get further contact. Surprisingly, a person from the company sends me his Whatsapp number over chat and asks me to save it. The message is worded like a bulk email (Starting with Hello everyone!!) which I thought was quite odd since the interaction from these platforms has always been a person-to-person contact for me. Since Internshala showed that only around 40 people applied for the position I was quite intrigued but attributed this to my lack of exp in internship operations.
THE WHATSAPP ARC:
I was contacted by the number on WhatsApp saying that they'd be interested in moving forward and I gave them my work experience details.
The person sends me over a development assignment to complete within a few days. The assignment consists of massive scope of details. I'm talking production level concept and implementation. Asks to me implement a custom emotion detection CV model (worded as "emotion camera" lmao), generate a 3d model (specified nowhere and expects to implement a mono-ocular system for the curious) and deploy it over AWS with a website to go along with it and also host that. The website should contain a VR ("360 rotatable") view that can explore the depth-map ("not worded as depth-map") of the face. My first assumption was that they had picked this work up for outsourcing and didn't bother to chip off parts so as to create an assignment out of it (I know very optimistic).
So I shoot it at him on WhatsApp asking which parts of the assignment should I do?
Him: So, which parts CAN you do?
I thought of it as an HR thing.
Me: I could do most of it but given the time-frame of the assignment and my applied position as a web developer it is perhaps out of scope for my application.
Him: Don't worry about the assignment. You can submit when you complete the whole assignment.
I was visibly angry over the stupidity of this man.
Me: This task is a Full-Stack + CV + VR task. It will take over two months to get working. Am I supposed to work on it for that long for an assignment?
Him: Okay just do the basic functionalities like add to cart. But also try to do the camera thing before next week.
At this point I'm sure that they are having trouble handling an eager client and they're offloading work to interns. So I do only the backend and minimal frontend and submit the assignment (a 2 day job done over a weekend).
Nothing. Empty. No messages since then. I tried sending in a Whatsapp message on the application and how to proceed. Then, if I could get to know if I have been rejected. Nothing.
And all this time I can clearly see the account is active as it pushes pretentious motivational quotes over it's Whatsapp status.3 -
Learning an algorithm and data structure for a month and forgetting about it after exploring a new language be like🤦
4 -
Ohhh 😲😲😲 are you kidding me ? xxx TB !!!!!! 😅😅😅🤤🤤
IT must be a bug or is it really my usage !!? 🤔🤔🤔🤔 let me investigate 😂😂😂😂😂
2 -
Why Microsoft update is fucking cancer ? Each time you need something fast ohhh shit ! Update.... Now i love my sudo apt update && sudo apt upgrade !1
-
!dev. Been working on a simple and 'cheap-ish' enclosure for my resin printer to evacuate fumes out a window. 100% not the best or cleanest looking method but I like it. I don't usually do things with my own two hands so this was kinda fun. Probably will do a V2 in the future with my brother teaching me to do more hands on skills. And a MUCH cleaner end result. This was him telling me what i needed to do and me figuring out the how on my own lol
Now to finish v1 I just gotta put the fan controller outside where I can physically touch it. Cut holes for its wires. Then foam anywhere that stick on door foam didn't work that air can escape. Ohhh and attach the actual duct and window parts
-
Hmm... Why does name look so familiar...
Ohhh mind flash... Looks at notepad file with my commonly used commands to confirm:
tar -xvzf ...
3 -
Ohhhhh...
My Laptop just broke friendship with me 😪😫😭😭😭
My Laptop was everything for me
My Friend, My Parter, and so on..
Ohhh my Laptop I'll miss you so much...
😭😭8 -
Working on a feature on my pair partner's machine with a completely different hotkey layout = instant disorientation and usually a persistent stream of "shit!", "no!", and "wtf why do you use this layout??"
-
So I decide to do some online test at company X for an internship.
URL bar exposes names, id number, email etc, whatever you fill when they capture your details(these morons are probably using a get route to do it). Okay fine let me give it a try... Page loads flash content! WTF!??...Fine I do the test, so easy and fun. After completing the test and hit submit the whole flash shit just goes blank!!! Now I wasted my 3 hours for nothing!!! I'm so pissed rn I wanna write them an email. Ohhh I forgot to mention the page was very http with no s. How do I even trust they'll tech me anything???7 -
LOLOL, my grandma goes hellish when I entered her password to google, she has seen some videos on the internet like "people deploy fake medical ads for seniors" or "phishing.
Fuck youtube.4 -
Having not touched my cordova/phonegap project for so long, so many updates... removing and adding of plugins... Ohhh the pain! Errors, errors everywhere!1
-
Our team has to add some features to an existing application/platform. Its a mobile application with a server handling all the logic and a database for records storage. Fairly big project, a few 1000 lines. Ohh and did I mention that there is absolutely NO DOCUMENTATION???! Why on earth would you even be like ohhh let's do this project but write absolutely no documentation for it! Why???1
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This got me fucked up. Listen yo.
So we have this issue on our modal right. The issue keeps poppin. It's a hotfix because its in prod. So my senior and I were on it. After a few hours, I showed him the part of the code that is buggy. It's 50 lines of code of nested if-else, else-if. And so we're still fighting it. He redid everything since we're using angular2 he did a subject, behavior-subject all that bs and I was still trying to understand what's the bug, because it's happening on the second click and so I did my own thing and found the cause bug and showed it to him, its this:
setTimeout( () => {}, 0)
the bootstrap-modal doesn't allow async inside it (I dont why, its in the package). So he explained to me why it's there. So I did my own thing again and find a workaround which I did, a one-line of angular property, showed it to him he didn't accept it because we'll still have to redo it with subjects and he was on it. I said ok. Went back to my previous issue. The director came in and ask for a fixed, my senior came up to me and told me to push my fix. Alright no problem. So we good now. Went back to our thing bla bla bla, then got an email that we will have a meeting, So we went, bla bla bla. The internal team wants a support for mobile, senior said no problem bla bla bla, after the meeting he approaches me and said (THIS IS WHERE IT GOT FUCKED UP) we wont be supporting bootstrap4 anymore because of the modal issue and since we're going to support mobile and BOOTSTRAP4 grid system is NONINTUITIVE we are moving to material design because the grid system is easier. I was blown away man. we have more than 100 components and just because of that modal and mobile support shit he decided to abandon bootstrap. Mater of fact its the modal its his code. I'm not expert in frontend but I looked at the material design implementation its the same thing other than the class names. OHHH LAWD!3 -
TLDR, need suggestions for a small team, ALM, or at least Requirements, Issue and test case tracking.
Okay my team needs some advice.
Soo the powers at be a year ago or so decided to move our requirement tracking process, test case and issue tracking from word, excel and Visio. To an ALM.. they choice Siemens Polarion for whatever reason assuming because of team center some divisions use it..
Ohhh and by the way we’ve been all engineering shit perfectly fine with the process we had with word, excel and Visio.. it wasn’t any extra work, because we needed to make those documents regardless, and it’s far easier to write the shit in the raw format than fuck around with the Mouse and all the config fields on some web app.
ANYWAY before anyone asks or suggests a process to match the tool, here’s some back ground info. We are a team of about 10-15. Split between mech, elec, and software with more on mech or elec side.
But regardless, for each project there is only 1 engineer of each concentration working on the project. So one mech, one elec and one software per project/product. Which doesn’t seem like a lot but it works out perfectly actually. (Although that might be a surprise for the most of you)..
ANYWAY... it’s kinda self managed, we have a manger that that directs the project and what features when, during development and pre release.
The issue is we hired a guy for requirements/ Polarion secretary (DevOps) claims to be the expert.. Polarion is taking too long too slow and too much config....
We want to switch, but don’t know what to. We don’t wanna create more work for us. We do peer reviews across the entire team. I think we are Sudo agile /scrum but not structured.
I like jira but it’s not great for true requirements... we get PDFs from oems and converting to word for any ALM sucks.. we use helix QAC for Misra compliance so part of me wants to use helix ALM... Polarion does not support us unless we pay thousands for “support package” I just don’t see the value added. Especially when our “DevOps” secretary is sub par.. plus I don’t believe in DevOps.. no value added for someone who can’t engineer only sudo direct. Hell we almost wanna use our interns for requirements tracking/ record keeping. We as the engineers know what todo and have been doing shit the old way for decades without issues...
Need suggestions for small team per project.. 1softwar 1elec 1mech... but large team over all across many projects.
Sorry for the long rant.. at the bar .. kinda drunk ranting tbh but do need opinions... -
Was there a post about:
"Love french fries as this gentleman does. <a link to some website full of 3d french fries animations>"
If yes, can someone give a link?1
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