TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.

>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass

My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃

Friend : lets use github to collab
Me an intellect : Lets use pigeons

dear anyone looking to teach kids programming (especially organizations):

- please be realistic. teach things your students can use. how to debug, how to solve realistic, real-world problems. not how to make a turtle draw a circle, that's not programming.

- please don't have blocks. just don't. they hurt.

- focus on your content instead of putting up posters on the wall with celebrities talking about the importance of programming

- don't call it 'code,' call it 'program.' do you know how different muggles think they are?

- please teach in a logical order. too many times have I seen commands --> functions --> variables/variable types --> then back to functions and return types.

- don't set an appropriate "age" to do it. please. its enough for people to learn to program, but to be told they're too "old" for a course? I can't tell you how many forgetful seniors and special needs students have been insulted. and don't even get me started on being too young. knowledge is knowledge, skill is skill, ability is ability.

- teach concepts with programming. don't separate them. they work better when they're taught together.

- understanding is more important than style. for beginners, fuck style. all of your program could be all on one line for fucks sake. I've had teachers chose style > functionality, because, fuck working programs, right?

- let your content speak for itself. this is not the place for celebrity endorsements.

- give resources for after a lesson is complete. when a beginner is finished, recommend more resources. you're never done learning.

most of these were things code.org did wrong. fuck them. I was in a constructive criticism mood today…

school takes the creativity out of programming.

you want to try something new?
sorry, can't have that. functionality = priority.

school takes the choice out of programming.

- you're gonna use x language
- with x api
- in x environment
- and make it in x way
- because if you don't, your gonna fail x assignments
- because programming is about getting the job done, with no creativity

yeah fuck you too

school takes the cleverness out of programming

you get a turn left function. it turns a 'turtle' left any amount of degrees that you pass it, you have to make a turn right function to turn right 90 degrees. well, if you thought turning left -90 degrees was a good idea to make a turn right function, then fuck you. you have to turn left three timeswith the default 90 degrees instead because it's more practical/logical.

fuck that.

anyone else hate the movements to get programming into schools?

For all the pentesters who use python, its just too slow ;-;

For the love of God use descriptive variable names. I dont care if it is 15 characters long instead of 5. Besides any halfway modern IDE does auto completion.

"tTime" is not helpful. Target time? Test time? Total time? Tea time? Turtle Timmy? No clue...

Worked for this client until 4 o'clock at night because they needed that to be done overnight.

For two weeks they are responding slowly like a turtle. No forecast of payment yet.

May God burn them in the worst part of the hell

"Hit it till it works"

When you're a great, quick to write programming language suited for many computing tasks in general but everyone thinks you're a language for kids and a shit language because you're slow in general.

Quick tip for naming stuff: learn some Dutch. Any random word is good for naming an app/website/project/whatever. Examples:
Turtle ----> Schildpad
Beach ---> Strand
Tonight ---> Vanavond
Tasty ---> Lekker
Sandwich ---> Boterham

My frustrations with the industry

Anyone else remember that thing with the turtle that you gave instructions to and it'd draw lines?

Found this turtle today.

I guess I could say back to the old LOGO turtle days, but it wasn't until university that I began using the good turbo c compiler and it's DOS platform

Motivation 404. I'm as slow as a drunk turtle today.

So, I dare you to tell me something motivating!

Just in case you thought you and your tech job were weird I give you:

Herpetologist: I caught a turtle here in Costa Rica.
Camera man: Cool. What kind is it?
H: this is the white eared red footed mud guppy. See what's interesting is that it has white sides of its face. And red feet. And lives in Costa Rica. In the mud. It is not a guppy though. Guppies are fish.
C: Cool and why is it important?
H: It's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: what does it do?
H: It's a turtle.
C: yeah but is it endangered? Venomous?
H: Nope. Just a regular old turtle.
C: so you just ran 50 miles and dove in to a random body of water that probably contained malaria and herpes to catch a regular turtle.
H: well it's not a regular turtle
C:(glares) it isn't?
H: it is. But it's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: so why did you catch it?
H: I like turtles.

So look at it this way: you could be the camera man.

You remember that turtle game where you draw stuff? And lemmings. My dad got me playing with those at a young age. And one time I was ill as a kid, he took me into work with a briefcase full of lego, he woked away quietly while the rest of the office set doom up for me. Pretty awesome.

Everytime im coding with a friend for our Android game. It's a lot of laughter and fun.
And awesome feeling if the first finished project is successful and people actually like it. :)

That turtle IDE thing we learned in middle school. I tried to make a game with that. Would not recommend.

I just needed 2h to move 600mb to 2 servers. What year are we living again? O.o

My problem with a lot of free resources/class assignments is we're being forced to make useless shit. For instance, an interactive textbook we use has some stupid fucking turtle assignments.

Why not make it something relevant? One of the first things i ever made was a Fahrenheit to Celcius converter. That's a real world application, since not many can calculate that math in their head.

When I first moved 🐢 on the screen i knew I'm gonna love this shit
RT 90
LT 90
😊

Sprint planning meeting discussing UI:
Customer: - Wouldn't that confuse the user?
Senior Dev: - Yes but it will take less development time.
Me (junior): ...

I feel like i have the social skills as an unconscious turtle.

Heard over the cubicle wall: "Jquery, every element is a turtle. Turtles all the way down."

What?

I fell in love with a turtle 🐢

I began exploring code and graphic design early on at about 6-7 years old. My Dad had a commodore 64 with a few games and a little handbook that had some awesome examples to go by. My Dad had at one time been a subscriber to a serial magazine for Commodore enthusiasts that featured a snippet of code in each issue. After getting into my Dad's old stash of magazines I was able to combine all the magazines and write the code from each issue to create a hangman game. This got me into computers and programming. Then we did some Logo/Turtle work as got into qbasic on our IBM machine.

So... My boss is "hard working", meaning that she'd rather edit and upload a html file every morning at 5am for the last 5 years and manually send a push notification notifying the user that the new file is up than learning a little bit about automation (cron? IFTTT?) and even after letting her know about those options she has "no time"

She'd rather keep source code (pug, sass), manually build on local computer and upload to live servers instead of learning git and letting me setup once and for all CI/CD

SERIOUSLY!?!? NO TIME!?!? But there's time to do things at a turtle pace like in the 90s... 🤦‍♂️

My best co-worker is a wooden turtle.

I've just found that python includes a logo implementation. That turtle thing where you give it instructions to draw. Awesome nerds.

Religion is ruined by people.
God's bugs are our mistakes, the platypi, and turtle penises.
Nature is so much better without us, I enjoy programming but the users are polluting, wasteful, selfish useless beings removing resources from the Earth.

Sometimes I want to become a hacker and ruin rich people's lives.

Creating the same picture in drawing class, and by making a turtle walk across the screen.
That's also when I realized painting was never to be my thing.

So after 7 months of soul crushing searching I was able to land an awesome job I never thought I'd get! I didn't really get hired for my projects, I think I was more of a culture fit that knew enough of what they were talking about. My colleagues are awesome, helpful people but they are also clearly way ahead of me as devs. I know that many new hires have similar feelings and it's more a matter of drive + time. I understand that and I'm ready for the marathon ahead of me but I have one HUGE concern... I don't understand unit testing. I've never written unit tests in JavaScript or Java (just on paper I wrote random assert statements for a college exam question that somehow turned out correct). More importantly, I don't understand when to write unit tests and what my main objectives should be when writing them. At work they talk about unit testing like it's just as basic as understanding version control or design patterns, both of which I have had no problems asking questions about because I at least understood them generally. I come here looking for resources, mainly things I can go through over the weekend. I understand that I'm going to have to ask my colleagues for help at some point but I DON'T want to ask for help without any solid base knowledge on unit testing. I would feel much more comfortable if I could understand the concepts of unit testing generally, and then ask my team members for help on how to best apply that knowledge. I'm sorry for begging, I'll definitely be looking for resources on my own too. But if anyone could point me to resources they found to be helpful & comprehensive, or resources that they'd want their co-workers to use if they were in my position I would be very grateful!!!!

So, I've been reading all this complaints about micro services which started to be loud thanks to the mad CEO of Twitter.
Keep reading but I am curious about your opinion as well

To me all the point of micro services has never been about improving the speed, in fact it might have a negative impact on the performances of an application. I think that given the calculation power we have nowdays, it's not a big deal

However on the other side, it makes all the rest so much easier.
When there's a problem on one service, I can just debug the given service without spending hours starting a huge slow turtle
If something goes down, it doesn't make unhealthy the whole app, and if I am lucky it's not gonna be a critical service (so very few people will be pissed).
I have documentation for each of them so it's easier to find what I am looking for.
If I have to work on that particular service, I don't have to go through thousands of tangled lines of code unrelated to each other but instead work on an isolated, one-purpose service.
Releasing takes minutes, not hours, and without risk of crashing everything.

So I understand the complaint about the fact that it's making the app run slower but all the rest is just making it easier.

Before biting my ass, I am not working at Twitter, I don't know the state of their application (which seems to be extremely complicated for an app deigned to post a bit of text and a few pictures), but in a company with skilled people, and a well designed architecture.

Bah! I am sure computers know when you are in a rush. Without fail my computer will run as fast as a snail riding backwards on a turtle every time I am in a rush!

Disclaimer - Day in the life of a whitehat student.

Whitehat Whitehat Whitehat

What is this????
When I attended my first white hat jr online free trial class, I got to know that the teachers does not know the difference between java and javascript. Infact they were saying blockly as javascript. I was knowing the difference between the same. There were 3 types of courses -

***Note : - This information is taken from the whitehat official website***

1.) Introduction to Coding :-

Sequence, Fundamentals Coding Blocks, Loops
(Teach us to drag and drop blocks of code.org(blockly))

2.) App Developer Certificate:-

Events / UI,Conditionals, Complex Loop, Logic Structures, Turtle Coding
(Advanced drag and drop(blockly))

3.) Advance Coding with Space Tech -

Extended UI/UX, Rich GUI app, Space Tech simulation in Space Lab / Game Lab, Professional Game Design.
(GUI - with tkinter(python), Game Design - Blockly(code.org))

These things are rubbish ......making GUI's is simplest with tkinter and the students who make games (with code.org) submit their codes to the whitehat community (because the teacher says "they will compile it to an android app, then you can publish it to playstore" --- this is for 1% students who are able to design their own games).

The thing whitehat do with code given by 1% best students:-

Export to HTML from code.org
Download HTML to APK Convertor
Setup SDK
Successfully converted to APK!
Publish it to Whitehat Jr console account
Credits of the students
Income of the exporters

Rest all students will only think to be the CEO of google one day.

My Opinion - StackOverflow, Unity for Game Development, Android Studio, Dart, Flutter and Kivy (using google colab for compiling the python code to an apk) for app development and Flask, HTML, CSS for web development.

What IDE/Compilers do you guys use?

That moment when you know Python, and start in a serious national competition. You expect god knows how hard tasks....and all of a sudden you realise that all of them are in turtle...rip

Playing a lot of Forged Alliance Forever lately.

so many ways to play, Offense, Defense, Turtle.
It has an early, mid, end game.. and even game Enders.

Perfect RTS for constantly thinking about ways to defeat your opponents.

When I first met the Logo turtle I was hooked. Then learned Pascal. Saw recursion and my brain exploded. 23 years and still love it every day 🐢

When I was in 5th grade, my school had bought few computers (I don't remember on which OS they were running back in 1999) and they'd installed Logo on it.

For those who are not familiar with Logo, it was a programming language for educational purpose. The main highlight of this programming language was, it had a graphical on-screen cursor called "Turtle". Users had to type in commands to make this cursor move on the screen. Like "Right 90" would turn the cursor by 90 degrees.

This was my first official exposure to a computer.

My Grandma had an old PC in my childhood. That laid the stone. Then I took a "PC Basics" course in my hometown in 4th-grade, which covered Building a PC, programming it with the weird Turtle stuff and Lego Mindstorms.

Learned HTML in 4th grade. Tried C++ in 5th. Took a while to get serious, 10th grade Java gave the last kick. Studying CS now at the TUM and working as a Web Designer in parallel.

I work part-time in a small non-tech company as the only developer/tech-support. The work is fine and I got a own laptop.
But fml my laptop is the slowest in office and should be burned already in the stone age.

I just relised that my primary school had more "cs" lessons then high school
it was just one lesson with python turtle

The most high school has is photoshop and dreamweaver

It started when i was about 10 old.
My uncle showed me how to display something in dos-prompt using the echo command in a custom batch-file.
A few commands later, i was able to "program" a flip-book of an ascii ski-driver. Each ascii picture was separated by pressing any key and cls ^^
Aaaaah. Sweet childhood memories!

Later on i used a programming-language for beginners in windows.
This language gave you control of a triangle called "turtle".

My first high-level programming language was Delphi.
Since i had no idea of databases, i created a pseudo database of magic the gathering play-cards. Each card had it's very own windows formular filled up completely with an uncompressed image object displaying the chosen card modally. *sigh*
I scanned each card by using a feed scanner.
Finally, my application consisted of 200 cardimages and forced my PC to swap the required memory from my harddisk.
Boy o boy. I was such a noob! ^^

Over the years i discovered and felt in love with a lot of languages (jsp, java (script), c#, php, ...) and concepts (mvvm, mvc, clean-architecture, tdd, ...)! ;)

I work with a lot of people around the world, since 2 years ago almost.
My english is really BAD and I dont understand why is too difficult to my improve it.
Is very difficult to my write, speak and listen in english.
I really have a problem?? My mind comes white when I am in a meeting in english. I feel like a durp turtle...

Mostly, it's being interrupted by my fam a lot. Also, recently my laptop's wi-fi adapter went turtle mode (of all the times - during quarantine).

I started playing around with computers when I was about 3 years old, than at 12 my "Technology" teacher showed us a programmer he and his colleagues made, a free and open source version of Logo, logoit. You could control a turtle and make it draw lines on a plan. Than I got into c++ and web development.

Cannot figure out why my MBP slows to turtle speed every time it hits under 20% battery and fans spin up so loud and fast it sounds like a damn drone. I’ve reset the smc and everything!

Started with LOGO in 6th grade. FD, RTing the turtle was pretty cool, so thought I'd give this programming thing a shot..

!dev

I need some help with advice regarding getting new headphones, as my current ones are quite literally about to fall off my head. Thing is that I have a hard time finding what I want, and even then be able to determine stuff based on reviews.

My current ones are a pair of Turtle Beach Ear Force Z60, which is my first headset to have surround sound. They also sit very comfortably on my head without really pressing on my ears at all, and the audio when playing games is nice and clear. Unfortunately that has now set the bar pretty high when trying to find a new pair.

I tried out a pair of HyperX Cloud II, but I can't configure the settings and the surround sound doesn't seem to work at all (there seems to be a "gap" between one o'clock and three o'clock, so to speak, as well as between nine o'clock and eleven o'clock). I tried listening to a 7.1 audio clip, but the only ones in the right positions were center front and left and right fronts. The left and right sides, and left and right rears were all at the center point. And besides that the audio is unbalanced and just... not quite muffled, but not clear as with the old ones.

Thing is also that I don't know crap about audio stuff, like if it's got to do with me doing something wrong in terms of drivers or hardware or something, or if it's actually got to do with the headphones themselves. I've tried to find info but there's just none to be found, it seems, at least nothing that works. :(

Currently I'm considering trying out another pair from Turtle Beach, but it's so hard to trust the reviews. I mean, like the Z60 has pretty halfassed ratings, but I personally like them a lot. :/

Does anyone have any advice at all? Whether it's recommendations of headphones, or ideas on things I could try on my end to make things work.

AND, side note; I don't care for any comments along the line of "surround sound is bullshit, just stick with stereo, it's better", because 1) I don't agree nor do I care, and 2) it's unconstructive as shit.

I'm thankful for any ideas or advice you guys may have. :/

A year ago I built my first todo, not from a tutorial, but using basic libraries and nw.js, and doing basic dom manipulations.

It had drag n drop, icons, and basic saving and loading. And I was satisfied.

Since then I've been working odd jobs.

And today I've decided to stretch out a bit, and build a basic airtable clone, because I think I can.
And also because I hate anything without an offline option.

First thing I realized was I wasn't about to duplicate all the features of a spreadsheet from scratch. I'd need a base to work from.

I spent about an hour looking.
Core features needed would be trivial serialization or saving/loading.

Proper event support for when a cell, row, or column changed, or was selected. Necessary for triggering validation and serialization/saving.

Custom column types.

Embedding html in cells.

Reorderable columns

Optional but nice to have:

Changeable column width and row height.

Drag and drop on rows and columns.

Right click menu support out of the box.

After that hour I had a few I wanted to test.

And started looking at frameworks to support the SPA aspects.

Both mithril and riot have minimal router support. But theres also a ton of other leightweight frameworks and libraries worthy of prototyping in, solid, marko, svelte, etc.
I didn't want to futz with lots of overhead, babeling/gulping/grunting/webpacking or any complex configuration-over-convention.

Didn't care for dom vs shadow dom. Its a prototype not a startup.

And I didn't care to do it the "right way". Learning curve here was antithesis to experimenting. I was trying to get away from plugin, configuration-over-convention, astronaut architecture, monolithic frameworks, the works.

Could I import the library without five dozen dependancies and learning four different tools before getting to hello world?
"But if you know IJK then its quick to get started!", except I don't, so it won't. I didn't want that.

Could I get cheap component-oriented designs?

Was I managing complex state embedded in a monolith that took over the entire layout and conventions of my code, like the world balanced on the back of a turtle?

Did it obscure the dom and state, and the standard way of doing things or *compliment* those?

As for validation, theres a number of vanilla libraries, one of which treats validation similar to unit testing, which seems kinda novel.

For presentation and backend I could do NW.JS, which would remove some of the complications, by putting everything in one script. Or if I wanted to make it a web backend, and avoid writing it in something that ran like a potato strapped to a nuclear rocket (visual studio), I could skip TS and go with python and quart, an async variation of flask.
This has the advantage that using something thats *not* JS, namely python, for interacting with a proper database, and would allow self-hosting or putting it online so people can share data and access in real time with others.

And because I'm horrible, and do things the wrong way for convenience, I could use tailwind.
Because it pisses people off.

How easy (or hard) would it be to recreate a basic functional clone of the core of airtable?

I don't know, but I have feeling I'm going to find out!

Hey Ranters..am new year...(here)...got u a cool way to propose your crush...this valentines day..(S.t Valentines...rOfL).

use this python code to impress ur crush in 11 lines..p.S use trunket if it does not work on a regular compiler

make sure u are cool enough to pull this off..because this can be the reason for u being singlee lamo

from turtle import *
color('red')
begin_fill()
pensize(3)
left(50)
forward(133)
circle(50,200)
right(140)
circle(50,200)
forward(13)
end_fill()

Keep coding and making mistakes. Further more reading code and books. Often the books are related to other topics (math, logic, psychology, economics, ....) to keep my brain alive and get other insights of ways how to think or solve a problem.

My uncle had a computer with a dot matrix printer attached. I remember that there was a Python turtle like drawing program. Spend quite some hours making blocky single line drawings with that. Printed some too.
No clue what kind of computer it was though. Probably a PC clone like headstart.

I'm thinking of getting a laptop for both gaming and video editing. I currently am thinking of getting a laptop with either a 7th gen i5 or 8th gen i5. Is there a huge difference in performance between the two generations? Is the 8th gen i5 core worth the extra money?

It was compulsory to study logo at the school, class 4. Was around 10 at that time. Love what I could make the turtle do with commands. FF 2 years, learnt HTML in school. Loved how some tags made a webpage. Didn't code for next 7 years(idiotic decision?). Started with Java and Android development and fell in love again. Didn't let it go this time 😀

Working on an ongoing task of speeding up one of our applications. Our TFS server sends a message to a Slack channel with the check-in comment each time someone checks in. Amusing myself by using a recurring theme of "The Tortoise and the Hare" fable to explain what I fixed by including the :rabbit2: and :turtle: tags in my TFS check-in comment.

My goal this year is to FINALLY dive headfirst into ai. Ant tips or good books?

Anybody out there know best library in Python for visualising a robot’s path graphically given its X and Y coordinates? Turtle is way too boring... please help...

TFW video freezes because of buffering and plays after a minute of waiting, then 5 seconds later buffering starts again. Gee, I just want you to keep playing whatever is possible, not stare at the screen poorly awaiting next 5 seconds of content! Rewind a bit, I dunno, just don't tease me like that...

I hate windows 10 home version that suks and they always give the same 8 to 10 ways to make it faster and it never does any good. I turn this computer on and it's not a bad computer of a couple years old and is slower than a turtle and all it does is the same routine. It takes so long to boot up and if you try to hurry it it will make it that much slower. Then the bloatware then look who started Bill Gates and now is some farmer, some vax expert. Oh yeh cheer him on and give me comment no you should not. If you like him that's your business. Keep it that way cause his windows business is BULLLLLLLLLLLLLL