I always emphasize for our trainees to just ask if they need help or have any questions.

But damn, some of them just keep asking about everything! It almost feels like they don’t think to themselves at all..

I have a lot of meetings and that makes it difficult to answer my workphone. One guy has been calling me every single time I have a meeting and he never answers when I try to call back.

He can contact me through email, ticketing system or Teams, but nope, he keeps calling my phone.

I send him a message through Teams asking if he can tell what the issue is.

He tells me he will just call me via phone.. Why?! Even calling through Teams would be better! Just tell me what the issue is!

Now that most people at our company is working remotely at home, the worst thing is that everyone thinks I can somehow magically fix their home network..

Client told me that they have two workers with very similar names (one letter difference) and customers constantly send emails to the wrong person because of this.

She asked me if there is anything I could do to fix this?

What the hell am I supposed to do? Tell one of them to get their name changed?

I just got an email from work to fix a website that is down. A website of another company.

I just don’t understand how peoples brains work?

Teacher requests help with projector. I go to the classroom.

Me: What seems to be the problem?
Teacher: Yes, I just can’t get this projector to show image from the computer! I’ve hit every single button on the remote!
Me: .. The computer isn’t on?
Teacher: Huh?
Me: There is no power on the computer? Have you turned it on?
Teacher: .. What?

I thought maybe she had accidentally shutdown the PC, but no. She had just walked to the classroom and just turned on the projector.. Didn’t even touch the computer..

Heard the students snickering when I left the classroom.

The most useless response when asking for help:

”I’ve never had this issue.”

For the love of god developers/programmers, don’t put version numbers to your softwares file paths!

It’s the worst when you have to configure permissions and rules, then the folder path changes in every update!

Client hasn’t responded to my questions for over 2 weeks, so I close her ticket.

”Why the hell did you close the ticket!? The problem still exists!”

Sorry, I’m not a mind reader..

Why is it always on Fridays that some server decides to start acting up?

I want to start my weekend, damnit!

Work your ass off for a month, packaging new software and deploying them. No one says anything.

One of our guys uploads a new autoupdating food menu provided by another company to our intranet. Takes a few minutes.
”OMG! You should be rewarded!”
”Employee of the month!”
”IT award of the month!
”Have my babies!”

:|

Our new trainee started working couple weeks ago and the amount of whining and complaining when something doesn’t work is driving me insane!

I don’t know if he realizes that his job is to also find solutions to fix those issues..?

Client: I need this *insert app/machine/thing* ASAP! No excuses!

*work overtime just to get it done*

*after 2 weeks of finishing it*

Me: So has the thing worked without issues?
Client: Oh, I haven’t even used it yet!

:/

Boss decides he can improve my code.

Spends the whole day ”improving it” and in the end he doesn’t change anything..

MFW searching for a solution to an issue, I find a thread about it and the only response is:

“I don’t have this problem on my end.”

”Can’t you install the new update while the computer is turned off?”

Things I hear at work..

Developers who don’t use silent switches on their installers have a special place in Hell reserved for them!

”OMG WE CAN’T GET INTERNET TO WORK! WE CAN’T DO ANYTHING! PLEASE COME AND HELP US ASAP!!!!!”

*rush over there, expecting the worst*

”So yeah, what’s the WiFi password again?”

:|

Someone on my Facebook was boasting that he now has 1Gb internet speed.

Turns out he bought a 1Gbit ethernet card for his PC and thought that alone would raise his broadband speed..

”Such a quiet day, maybe I’ll start doing that task which requires my full concentration!”

*starts doing the task*

Phone proceeds to start ringing non-stop for the next hour or two..

We recently hired a new head for one of our office districts and I am absolutely horrified how bad she is at using computers. It’s like she has never used a computer before!

Where do they get this guys and why do they hire them!?

Installers without quiet / silent switches..

How hard is it to tell me what kind of error do you receive when a program doesn’t work?!

Just telling me ”it gives an error” doesn’t give me much to work with..

I was supposed to do an image of Windows 10 1709 version, but the computer has suddenly started to download the new 1803 version!

Anyone using SCCM to deploy Windows 10?

If we add Software Updates to the Task Sequence, all sorts of apps get installed too. We have Consumer Features disabled, but for some reason updating during OSD seems to ignore it and installs apps anyways?

Anyone else with this issue?

Removing Windows 10 bloatware..

Never expected to do this on a clean Windows install.

Gawd damnit!

Anyone else working from home today? Love that my current workplace has this option.

My previous workplace would have laughed in your face if you even suggested of working at home! Only our bosses were allowed to work from home (surprise surprise?)

Who is doing some SCCM stuff today?

Was checking what my coworker was up to. He was given a computer to fix by another coworker and the PC belonged to his child.

”Oh I just uninstalled Steam. It’s a bad software with loads of viruses that slow down your computer!”