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Huge congrats to @linuxxx for being the first ever member of the devRant community to reach 100,000++
This is an awesome accomplishment and @linuxxx earned all of his ++ with awesome stories and has represented everything the devRant community is about while getting there.
So once again, congrats @linuxxx, and thanks for everything you have contributed to devRant!
52 -
!rant
Customer: What's the difference between an antivirus and an antimalware?
Me: *thinks for a second* So an antimalware program is like if you're on a beach with a metal detector. You're looking around for metal that's already buried in the sand. An antivirus is like actively watching people for if they drop metal on the ground.
Customer: That's an interesting analogy.
Coworker: *quietly* That's a actually a really good analogy...6 -
We just launched our new stories feature! If you go to the "stories" section, you'll see only rants that are over 70 words and you'll be able to easily enjoy the best long-form rants on devRant!
Just to clarify - all functionality is remaining the same. The main feed will still show all rants. Stories just makes it easier to find fun rants that involve more detailed stories/ranting and helps give them some more exposure.
We hope you enjoy! Feel free to comment here if you have any questions/suggestions about this.
10 -
Oh fuck off Google.
YouTube has stories now.
Brb going to throw up in a trash can. The most fucking stupid feature for YouTube.19 -
Guys check out devRant CUI
https://github.com/Jay9596/...
Very buggy at the moment, but can be used to browse rants,stories,etc.
28 -
There was a previous developer who my managers has told us was terrible and toxic. Yet due to terrible planning, he had everyone work for over 13 hours last Sunday.
I contacted this previous developer to learn his side of the story and learned a lot. I realize between their two narratives is the truth, but I see all the ways we've been lied, the ways this other dev was scapegoated and all the additional work that's sure to come.
I refuse to work weekends again. I refuse to work over 40 hours. I wish I could convince everyone else to do the same. No amount of money is worth making up for bad planning and management.1 -
A method that contains over 9000 lines of code.....
Are there really production codebases out there with stuff like that? If yes I am scared as hell because I don't want to work with that kind of code once I graduate
Tell your stories!
19 -
I open up facebook to look at fake news stories. I unfollowed everyone on my friends list.
I open up devRant to be a part of a community. A group of people that share the same interests.2 -
Shouldn't be necessary if you just write understandable code xD..... Some people just write stories in between 2 lines of code....
13 -
First ever job interview (in my field) went well and I got the job two days later! (my current one).
I'm getting scared from the other stories though 😅3 -
in an alternate universe there exists a clientRant, where clients come together and share their horror stories of dealing with devs.6
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Ummm ..
I'm a PHP dev.
I still accept WordPress Websites.
I usually use bootstrap but haven't tried 4.0 yet.
I occasionally touch jQuery.
:3 still wanna hear my disappointment stories?7 -
Snapchat, then Instagram, then WhatsApp, then effin FB messenger...
devRant please DO NOT GET THAT SHITTY 'STORIES UPDATE' NOW...17 -
There should be a name for rants about fake stories. Like the ones you read and can smell some bs going on. I suggest frants.4
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***Interviewing potential sys admins so us devs don't have to build everything and run everything***
Coworker: Do you know how to use cron and cron jobs?
Candidate: Yes I'm familiar with setting up users and permissions.
Me: 😳
Coworker: 😳
Boss: We will give you a call have a good day.
If you had just admitted you didn't know but we thought you could learn we might have been open to teaching you but brazenly acting like you know something when you don't is dangerous if you're running a multi thousand user production system.3 -
There are people in my workplace who ask "why did you set your IDE to dark theme?". How do I convince them that turning off the lights above my cubicle, lowering the screen brightness and having a dark theme is the best thing ever to concentrate?
Not to mention earbuds and a hoodie.
How do I convince them that once you turn to the Dark Side, there's no coming back?9 -
Dev: we have two days until go live. We got 20 bugs, 5 stories and two people on holiday.
PM: ok so could we get these 3 stories squeezed in as well?2 -
My favorite IT story (not mine) is that the server needed to be rebooted whenever it froze completely. The best solution? Get an old PC that had a CD drive, and every time it loses connection to the server, eject the CD tray which had a poking stick attached that hits the reset button.4
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Hi everyone. I'm new to this. Been lurking for a quiet some time. Best community ever IMHO ☺ Started my first programming language as c++ now somehow ended as web developer as hobby. Big shout out for you guys love your all stories ♥6
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Story time:
Ok so I'm in school and I'm on the computers we have to do a project on them the with rest of the class and I'm sitting beside this guy let's call him Bob (not his real name) anyways so Bob is working away on his computer and I'm trying to move documents and i decided to use cmd for it so opened it and then bob saw the cmd window and yelled "TEACHER HE'S TRYING TO HACK THE SCHOOL" then my teacher came over who has no idea how to operate computer like the rest of the class im surprised they can even turn the computer on anyways my teacher comes over and yells "PRINCIPALS OFFICE RIGHT NOW" and I'm like WTF?! anyways I have to explain to the principal what I was doing but she didn't understand so I go detention that day. Thanks a lot BOB!11 -
Personally, the best way of getting through tough dev days is by reading books or writing stories and poems.16
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I bypassed the Windows Store bug (error 0x8024000E) releasing it as a new app (not as an update).
Now you can find it on the Windows Store as "devRant unofficial UWP".
Changelog (v1.2.0.0):
- Stories
- PC & Holographic support
I worked hard to bring the best devRant experience possible to Windows 10, I hope you enjoy it! :)
https://microsoft.com/store/apps/...
13 -
WTF!
Linkedin stories..
this is not Instagram or Facebook or any of those sites.
Linked in is for Companies and yourself to have a public CV in a fixed format that for everyone is the same and easy to understand! F#CK!!
14 -
I'll keep it short:
My nastiest freelancing horror stories contain shitty clients who dont pay, the nastiest fucking legacy code you can imagine, and expectations as high as trump thinks of himself.
The lesson is simple: Choose your freelancing clients wisely and always expect partial payment in advance. Even from family or firends!9 -
1. Decide to learn optimisation algorithms
2. Realise that you have forgotten calculus
3. Decide to learn from the beginning
4. Search for tutorials
5. Go through the introduction parts
6. You know that you can't complete
7. You watch other entertainment things on YouTube.
Stories of a lazy programmer...12 -
<Email thread>
Manager: Hey @iiii, please, create stories for {things that shall be done}. You will be responsible for that implementation next sprint.
Me: *procrastinating like a bitch*
**several hours later**
Dev from another team: Actually, we discussed that with {upper management guy} and it seems like those things are unapplicable for current project, so we'll send a letter to {client} to remove those requirements.
Manager: @iiii, don't create stories.
</Email thread>
Me: *welp, good thing I did exactly nothing so far*10 -
I've found and fixed any kind of "bad bug" I can think of over my career from allowing negative financial transfers to weird platform specific behaviour, here are a few of the more interesting ones that come to mind...
#1 - Most expensive lesson learned
Almost 10 years ago (while learning to code) I wrote a loyalty card system that ended up going national. Fast forward 2 years and by some miracle the system still worked and had services running on 500+ POS servers in large retail stores uploading thousands of transactions each second - due to this increased traffic to stay ahead of any trouble we decided to add a loadbalancer to our backend.
This was simply a matter of re-assigning the IP and would cause 10-15 minutes of downtime (for the first time ever), we made the switch and everything seemed perfect. Too perfect...
After 10 minutes every phone in the office started going beserk - calls where coming in about store servers irreparably crashing all over the country taking all the tills offline and forcing them to close doors midday. It was bad and we couldn't conceive how it could possibly be us or our software to blame.
Turns out we made the local service write any web service errors to a log file upon failure for debugging purposes before retrying - a perfectly sensible thing to do if I hadn't forgotten to check the size of or clear the log file. In about 15 minutes of downtime each stores error log proceeded to grow and consume every available byte of HD space before crashing windows.
#2 - Hardest to find
This was a true "Nessie" bug.. We had a single codebase powering a few hundred sites. Every now and then at some point the web server would spontaneously die and vommit a bunch of sql statements and sensitive data back to the user causing huge concern but I could never remotely replicate the behaviour - until 4 years later it happened to one of our support staff and I could pull out their network & session info.
Turns out years back when the server was first setup each domain was added as an individual "Site" on IIS but shared the same root directory and hence the same session path. It would have remained unnoticed if we had not grown but as our traffic increased ever so often 2 users of different sites would end up sharing a session id causing the server to promptly implode on itself.
#3 - Most elegant fix
Same bastard IIS server as #2. Codebase was the most unsecure unstable travesty I've ever worked with - sql injection vuns in EVERY URL, sql statements stored in COOKIES... this thing was irreparably fucked up but had to stay online until it could be replaced. Basically every other day it got hit by bots ended up sending bluepill spam or mining shitcoin and I would simply delete the instance and recreate it in a semi un-compromised state which was an acceptable solution for the business for uptime... until we we're DDOS'ed for 5 days straight.
My hands were tied and there was no way to mitigate it except for stopping individual sites as they came under attack and starting them after it subsided... (for some reason they seemed to be targeting by domain instead of ip). After 3 days of doing this manually I was given the go ahead to use any resources necessary to make it stop and especially since it was IIS6 I had no fucking clue where to start.
So I stuck to what I knew and deployed a $5 vm running an Nginx reverse proxy with heavy caching and rate limiting linked to a custom fail2ban plugin in in front of the insecure server. The attacks died instantly, the server sped up 10x and was never compromised by bots again (presumably since they got back a linux user agent). To this day I marvel at this miracle $5 fix.1 -
!rant
Soon I'll get you, cute little dog. But it's still a long way writing stories of me screaming and complaining about everyone and everything.
15 -
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5 -
My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when the Programmer kept balance between Encapsulation, Polymorphism, Abstraction, and Inheritance. But that all changed when the functional programmers attacked.4
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Fuck , fuck y'all who use hashtags where it doesn't work. Idiots adding hashtags to stories on WhatsApp, Snapchat. It hurts. Stop.
Join me in this revolutionary movement to stop hashtag abuse.14 -
Listening to professor tell stories about when he used to develop, is like listening old war stories.
Back when I was in university, this teacher would tell us different stories about his days as a developer. This was one of the last ones, and I think it has not changed much since then.
*Phone rings*
Professor: Hello?
Client: I don't know what the fuck you take me for!
Professor: Oh, hello Client_Name. What seems to be the problem.
Client: This doesn't work! There's nothing here!
Professor: Ok, do you see the program file?
Client: No. I just said that there's nothing here.
They proceed to go over the issue and how to get the program to run. Or at least show up on the PC. This goes on for about 30 minutes.
Suddenly my professor has a thought.
Professor: Have you tried inserting the Floppy disk from the other side? Try flipping it.
Client: ...4 -
THX for 500++ !!! I'm so happy I found devRant by exident. I love reading rants and sometimes post my own stories.
PS: Now I can wear my JS Shirt and drink Red bull like in rl 😂 Thx again!
25 -
Manager: With all the horror stories why are we even developers?
Me: Because once we get part the horror, we become geniuses.
Manager: So what you're saying is that being a developer is like taking a crap after being constipated for three weeks?3 -
You ever read up an old post on devrant and you see users replying back to comments that no longer exist?
@s without an underline, half baked stories without a context.
Amusing.
Confusing.
Voids in a crowd.2 -
Yeah boss, lets study Scrum extensively so you can:
- Create variable length sprints
- User stories that are meaningless like 'fixes'
- Tasks that should be User Stories
- Duplicated tasks/stories that are on the fucking backlog already
- Cross sprints on projects
- No meetings at fucking all to determine who will do what
- Assign people on vacation to current sprints
The list goes on...
An when I point things like that out lets just look at the guy who spent 6 months studying this shit, taught you ( at least tried... ) as if he is saying nonsense while our projects get delayed and our code spaghettifies because we are always in a hurry for lack of time to plan anything :)2 -
Stories from Cape Town Metrofail, Volume 30:
This screen has been operational for less than a week and it's already broken.
8 -
Is it normal for every stupid, arrogant, selfish person to talk all kinds of bad stuff about my app and attack me personally on the play store? It's just a soundboard and it's free you pricks, be grateful for once and don't mind the god damn ads so much. I can't believe that shit.5
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Me:. "Because of x, y, and z tasks this week, I was not able to complete a, b, c stories. I will need two days to complete those next week."
Boss:. "you have Saturday and Sunday"
Me: .........8 -
Teacher requests help with projector. I go to the classroom.
Me: What seems to be the problem?
Teacher: Yes, I just can’t get this projector to show image from the computer! I’ve hit every single button on the remote!
Me: .. The computer isn’t on?
Teacher: Huh?
Me: There is no power on the computer? Have you turned it on?
Teacher: .. What?
I thought maybe she had accidentally shutdown the PC, but no. She had just walked to the classroom and just turned on the projector.. Didn’t even touch the computer..
Heard the students snickering when I left the classroom.1 -
Sometimes I get frustrated so I grab a decommissioned computer and take it to the roof, then I watch it plummet 4 stories to it's death.4
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There are numerous horror stories about Windows updates, but Mac updates aren't better. Yesterday I updated to Catalina (reluctantly), and when the computer restarted I was silently praying "Please don't fuck up my VMs".
Naturally, it fucked up VMware...8 -
Who has a DDOS attack story they want to share ? Dyn put up the good fight today... DDOS attacks can be incredibly difficult to deal with ... Internet of Things devices makes this an even more complicated situation. Outside of calling Prolexic, any vets have some good stories ?6
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Instagram has stories, WhatsApp has stories, Facebook and Messenger is testing out stories.
This is the future.
3 -
Now even messenger has stories! :-(
When will this end!? And why the hell does Facebook need three versions of stories, in three different apps!?5 -
VS Code stories are here.
I'm not making this up, there is now an extension for VS Code that brings instagram-style stories to your editor
https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...15 -
Being 25 and just now getting employable dev etc skills is really quite daunting when you learn of the old geniuses like Bill Joy, Linus, Wozniak and then hear daily stories of 16 year olds doing amazing things.
Inexperience in a field where everyone demands experience is scary. Still excited to see where I Can l can get though.11 -
Amazing API's and SEX!
Alright people, now that I've got your attention, I'm getting to the point where I need to plan and roll out a solid API for a project. So after reading a lot of the horror stories written here, What are the finer points of what makes an amazing API experience to use and integrate with over a poor one?
And don't say documentation (If you do explain why) 😁11 -
The new version of the (unofficial) client (now UWP and with "Stories") for Windows 10 is here... but I can't release it due to a Microsoft Store bug... 😢
Hope to see a Microsoft fix soon, because I can't wait to share it with you! 😝
5 -
Stories from a Startup #1
CEO walks into co-worker's office, staring longingly out of the window at the lake below.
After a brief moment of silence, the CEO speaks...
"I wonder if that swan ever thinks... about me?"1 -
Finished my internship today, turns out I won't be getting hired because upper management is cutting back due to COVID.
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck, compared to the horror stories I've read here, it was beautiful. The work experience was super worth it though, despite the intern pay. Time to start looking for a real job I guess.2 -
I’ll quit swearing when you stop moving user-stories in and out of the sprint DURING THE FUCKING SPRINT.7
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I'm pretty fucking sure that if I were to quit my job, I'd have to gather the fucking requirements, create the fucking user stories, and then JIRA the ever-living fuck out of it before I could submit my fucking resignation.
I just want to write fucking code.3 -
Each sprint lasts for 2 weeks. But I get the basic info to start working on my stories only when 3/4th of the sprint is completed....
So yeah....no one gives shit about estimation at least in my case.6 -
Waterfall Project Stages:
Requirements, Analysis, Design, Coding, Testing, Operations
When you promote project managers to program managers and tell them to switch to Agile, you get the Agilefall project stages:
Best guess, Timeline, User stories, Execution, Blame the devs when the project plan trends late.
I want to beat them with a copy of the PMBOK wrapped in lead.3 -
made a Facebook app once that allowed users to submit their stories for a competition to win a tablet. The HTML form had no limit on length but ORM defaulted to 1000 characters in database, imagine the sourprise when we exported the data for the client at the end...1
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Any one else out there self-taught and employed? I taught myself to code starting when I was in middle school and my code shows it lol. But I've finally found a job where I can ise my knowledge even though i lack a degree. Anyone else out there with similar stories?8
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Who would have thought that Ben Award's VSCode stories would be sold at 9000$. That's almost my entire college fees for 4 years.3
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How about you started off with programming?
I'll start with a veery old picture of my first Java-Code I've written (if you can call it eben that). At that time I tried to code using a JS-Designer. Just hilarious. 😂😂😂
9 -
While I was working on a university project with my team, a teammate asked me why the window of the program in my screen was bigger than in his. I simply answered him that his screen was a FullHD one that had a 1920x1080 resolution, while mine had a lower resolution, and he was like "Noo! This isn't a fullhd screen, it's not so sharp".
So I showed him the "1920x1080" sticker right below his screen, and him again "Yeah, it could have this resolution but definitely it's not a FullHD screen".
- Ok, as you say...
The same guy two days ago was talking about creating a GUI in C.
I told him that C was the wrong language to build programs with a GUI, although there's some very old libs that allow you to do that in 16bit.
And him again: "Ok but Linux (distros) do that and the UIs are great!"
- Do you think that all the fucking Ubuntu/Mint/any distro code is written in C??
The funny thing is the arrogance with which he says all these bullshits.
P. S. We are attending the 3rd year of Computer Engineering.6 -
> 1 hr meeting
> 30 min free
> 30 min meeting
> 3 hour meeting
> 30 min free
> 15 min "check point"
> How hard is concrete from 20 stories?!1 -
Microsoft fucking Sharepoint.
How can software so shitty exist?
To upload an image, I need to F12 and increase the dimensions on an iframe so I can click the save button.
Have any Sharepoint horror stories to share?4 -
Why is everyone copying Snapchat? First Instagram stories and now the whole FB Messenger is basically a cheap clone.
Do they actually think they can steal the brand-loving sheep that are Snapchat's target demographic?7 -
Forgive me for I have sinned.
I feel like I need a bleach shower after having had to write these methods in my Dart codebase
12 -
LinkedIn, now with stories.
Twitter, now with stories.
Stackoverflow, now with stories.
Slack, now with stories.
Devrant, stories coming May 2017
Everything Facebook related is having stories. At this rate other companies gonna have their apps feature stories. Just watch.13 -
just got an email from medium with my daily stories, and the second story had someone's devRant profile picture as the image for the story! good job @dfox, you are really making an impact!!! https://link.medium.com/jQptPbA2nU
4 -
The new devRant long story feature is great! Very nice to have them in one place. Thanks devRant team!
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Stories from a Startup #2
One day our CEO stormed through the office, going door-to-door holding a cease-and-desist notice he got from our ISP because someone decided to pirate "Chappie" at work.
Definitely wasn't me. 👀 Don't know if he found out who did it, though... but we all certainly knew.6 -
In "Sprint Planning", the team is supposed to come up with stories, break those down into tasks, estimate those tasks as a team, then let devs choose what tasks they want to work on based on the stories pulled into that particular sprint.
Instead, our manager creates the stories. He assigns the stories to each developer and then has that developer announce his theoretical tasks (without any research on feature's or project's requirements!) in front of the entire team. So, when I say, "I think it will take me 6 hours to implement this feature", he says, "6 hours? I think it will take 3." and then types the estimate as 3. I have so much rage when that happens. Then we continue to sit in the room for 2.5 hours where we go through this long data entry mess of him typing out tasks and second guessing estimates. There is no team deliberation or collaboration, its whatever the manager says.
While there are many issues I take with this approach, my pet peeve would be the second guessing of the estimates. It would make sense for teams members to second guess estimates as long as they are the same teammates who have the ability and possibility to take on the tasks themselves.
But I disagree with a manager seconding guessing an implementation feature that "I" definitely have to do alone, and they do not possess the immediate knowledge to implement it themselves.5 -
Sitting at work. Just had a convo about older versions of Visual Studio. I was like "you youngins with you intellisense and backwards compatibility. In VS2005 we had to climb 15 miles in the snow. Uphill. And when we only had 200 compatibility issues with VS2008 we thanked Microsoft for the privilege. What Linux? You think my school provided Linux? Linux is for earners. Top sellers. Leaders of men. Cross-platform compatibility meant that it worked on a Dell with Windows and a Gateway with Windows. I tell you those were dark times."
-
A friend of mine asked me yesterday for help for his bachelor thesis.
He wants to write about MySQL internals in regards to BLOB storage / usage.
We had a veeeerrrry long discussion....
And found a loooot of scary internet pages.
It's so .... Insane....
What some people with doctor titles or higher education generate...
Isn't content. More poo...
Most "blogs" / "articles" or whatever the author named it were missing all kinds of relevant data (version, configuration, anything relevant) but full of opinionated / biased bullshit.
Highlights were:
- we store lot of BLOB data, Backups take long and require more space
(you store additional data in an database, whaddya expect???!!!!)
- interesting guesswork about locking without any reference (interesting since it was sometimes so far away from reality that it looked more like quantum physics)
- storing blobs means that _each_ blob entry will be stored in a separate file (without any reference, but if an RDBMs did that... It would end in an amazing fireball I guess)
- BLOB's bad since it can represent only the file content, the database cannot distinguish wether it's an MP3 / MPG or anything like that...
(Ehm. Yeah. And an database cannot distinguish if you store under "Name" an Name or gibberish?!)
I somehow think that some people made an doctor and post this gibberish nonsense so people stay dumb to give them a job...
Like the TV repair men who steals the batteries from the remote.
Even conspiracy theories were more convincing -
In these GOT times,
managers will suffer,
PRs will not be merged,
Pivotal Tracker/Jira stories will not be attended to.
Stand-up meetings will be ditched.
Winter is here. -
How did you come to know about devRant?
I was shopping stickers online, and the owner of that site referred me to devRant (personaly, we were having a chat via that contact us chatbox).
Share your stories, because I don't see any ads of devRant, so everything must be organic here...19 -
Web version of whatsapp requires your phone to work, my phone is dead, fuck me.
They should spend money to make the web version better instead of dat stories shit that no one use8 -
Boy oh boy.. Reminds me of good ol college days. I was in my final sem when Amazon came to our university for campus hiring. I was very confident that I will get selected. Funnily enough I went till the final round and I had a feeling that it went well if not excellent. It was a Friday night and we had to wait two excruciating days for the final shortlisted result to come. On the evening of Monday my friend T called me and told me my name is not on the list. I was heartbroken. I asked him who all got selected and he said our friend A did. A was, and still is a good friend of ours and I was happy for him. That night we sat down for drinks and as the night progressed I anguished over my selection. I still remember solving a binary tree problem holding a glass of whiskey in my one hand. The next morning I woke up at 6, detoxed myself with fruit juices and sat in front of my laptop feeling full rage from last night. I sat till lunch and hacked a chrome extension in one sitting. Mind you I had no existing knowledge of extensions at that point of time. I sometimes look how my life has turned since that time and now I am one of the devs in a team which work on a product that itself is a browser extension. :)
-
Question from curiosity:
Does anyone know of interesting things to try on unused electronics, like phones or game consoles? Does Anyone have any stories of such or something? Software and hardware wise?6 -
I went on a coding tear last week, probably because my boss was on vacation. I optimized the bejesus out of a half dozen apps and created five or six new features to downstream apps. But now I need to write them all down, and make retroactive stories for them. I hate admin.5
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My boss is never gonna fucking understand scrum...
Even though I have explained him countless times he still creates user stories named "fixes" and puts all tasks in it...
Dude, are you having a seizure? -
As I am now in a leading position in the middle of a agile transition:
has anyone got a source for a project done completely with user stories?
I am searching a real life example with already finished stories an active backlog and a documentation.
I just can't wrap my head around it. When and what do you document? In which Form do you document? How are you writing user stories with more content like diagrams and such?
(we use jira and confluence but just started with stories)
I read some articles on the topic and watched some talks but sill don't get the picture.8 -
Not a rant, just another story about me and the man I'm gonna wife.
We both have an upcoming job interview, and I was just talking about how at our previous internship I was using python to automate some tedious tasks for me.
Me: it's like a general thing, right, to just automate things you don't really want to do
...
Me: like breathing, and waking up, ya know? I don't wanna do that shit
Him: it kind of already is automated.
Me: *three years of wasted time at med school come tumbling back in to my brain, suddenly recalling the brainstem*
Me: oh, yeah.1 -
The feeling when you're in the zone for some important tasks and your coworkers just come and seat besides your table, start bullshitting each other with their flights delay stories. I wish there is a dismiss button for this kind of occasions.2
-
When I look at textfiles.com, it's pretty amazing to see what the internet was like back in the old days. I wonder if anyone here could share their stories? ☺
2 -
Browsing Reddit for weird porn back stories and you stumble upon the efficiency regarding loops
P.S. - the comments has more
9 -
I don't have much to rant about mostly because my stories aren't very interesting but also mostly because I'm kinda unaware of people's anger.4
-
Funniest recruiter stories. This is an unused gold mine I'm still waiting for. I believe even a separate tag was requested for it before.
-
I wanna rant about a freelance job but I can't. Tell me your freelancing horror stories instead :D7
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Stories from a Startup #1.1
Picture of the swan in question. 😉 We were going to give it to him as a gag gift on our last day, but opted-out.
-
Bossman has a birthday today,
Everyone wishes him with exclamations on company's whatsapp group,
Acts total stranger when he actually enters the office, lol
What kind of Teletubbies land have I arrived into4 -
Any U.S. Americans here who can confirm the stories about "U.S. Americans beginning to stock Up on guns and ammo"?
I mean it sounds plausible but it's surely mostly overblown by the media, right? RIGHT?!21 -
Boss while working at a computer repair shop, he was a chill guy and great guy to talk to. Didn't mind if I came in a little late and regularly let me leave early.
Regularly got fun stories like how someone's cd drive broke because they thought it was a bagle holder.4 -
Me: Open Jira. See 8 point story skip QA column and move into Done.
Ask dev why it didn’t go through QA.
Teammate: Oh, did they want to test this?
Commence argument that **all** stories need to go through QA. -
I have dabbled with Linux quite a few times in the past (dual booting with Windows) and I'm looking to get into it again. Any recommendations? Any horror stories?
So far I've daily driven Ubuntu, Mint, Manjaro, and CrunchBang. KDE and Gnome are my go-to DEs.33 -
I only have stories of dating affecting my code, relationships are so energy consuming... So much easier to be alone and deal with it.2
-
I am not developing for any client (yet). But reading all these stories and rants at devrant I think I am well prepared.1
-
Went in for an interview today and left my brain at home. Never been so tongue tied. And as it were I was the only remaining candidate. FML!1
-
Doesn’t everybody use Fibonacci story dev points to estimate stories?
Doesn’t.. everybody..? 😞
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭6 -
At my school library there is this system, made in php, to make monthly reports on student access, since everyone goes to the library everyone knows it and the guys who did it were considered the best of the school. So since I used to work on the library the director asked me to add some features to it, and I was like "Sure, cool I get to work on a real system", what I didn't know was that the system had no head or tail, the core were two files "load.php" and "db.php", everything was in those two files, no design patterns, no oops, safly that wasn't even the worst part, the modules were loaded through Ajax, which called files with lines like
`echo "<td>Student</td>";`
Literally most of the damn HTML was "echoed" WTH, -
So this happened a few days ago
I was working on a module assigned by my senior, and was the sole developer on that module. Just when I was breaking my head to get a bash script correct (was writing a bash script for first time), my senior comes and looks at my messy script and goes "No, no, no, no that's not how you do it. "
Takes the keyboard and starts editing my script opened in vim.
Did some cool restructuring, taught me a few things about bash and while talking to me kept the keyboard back at its place.
I keep my hands on keyboard while talking to him and press
[Escape] :q!
And as I pressed Enter my face went purple/blue thinking this is not good. 😨
(I have a habit to quit as I had almost never edited and saved a vim file before)
And he sees that face and says
what happened?
No nothing. Everything's cool.3 -
Snapchat introduced stories, WhatsApp copied it.
Now its time for Facebook stories.
Stories everywhere! Copycats!
https://techcrunch.com/2017/03/...
2 -
Found an issue on Medium.com as I was not able to comment on some stories.. after some followups I found that it is because of CORS... they stopped responding after I responded with the reason. :(
-
rumor has it dfox and trogus are abandoning their jobs to prioritize adding stories to devRant.
i mean, a social network without stories? sounds incredibly stupid and irrational to me8 -
I stumbled upon series of stories about serial killer/system administrator addicted to lager and onion bahjits who hates users, managers, beancounters and sales people.
I'm just gonna leave it here https://theregister.com/data_centre...1 -
When you have assigned stories that are blocked by other dependencies being developed in the same Sprint... Oh boy, someone is not going to finish on time u.u
-
Your best friend your colleague a developer you trust the most, your best buddy in the office can be a savage asshole sometimes.
Just sayin.
What are your "got backstabbed stories"1 -
Best part of being a dev is that you get to be part of an amazing community like devRant.
Also the kind of jokes and stories devs get to share and laugh about is beyond anything. 😍 -
Talking about stupidity, my friend on whatsapp even share his bank online transaction on his stories, I told him to be careful with those sensitive information, but he's ignoring it.
I think he more care to show off his "bulge-wallet" than protect his own money.
Find anything stupid than that?9 -
My boss (who's in a different country) just joined our internal Skype group where most of our daily information is spread. She honestly thinks we work faster when she's asking questions about progression on stories via Skype.
Why doesn't some managers trust developers? >.<5 -
A really fun story to read. Makes me think of my own work shenanigans. Good to know Uber is just as fallible!
https://mobile.twitter.com/stantwin...1 -
Gonna be applying for college. Gonna major in programming.. I've always read the horror stories.. I hope my teachers arent retarded and dont make me use shit software..
Any advice?..3 -
Considering moving to a new city for a job. Don't know many people in the new city besides a couple family members.
Thoughts? Stories of moving for a job? Funny jokes? -
Reading all these hacking stories has made me nervous that my server isn't protected enough.
I've disabled password login and setup SSH keys which as far as I know is a big step in the right direction.
Is it enough? What more should I do?
In case you can't tell, I'm no expert in server adminy stuff 😛9 -
I wish I could give an interesting story, but because I'm not in the workplace yet, I don't have stories yet (I probably will one day!!)
I'm a CS student. I'm a little bit sad because I no longer have time for the personal projects I used to have time for in highschool. -
I've been given a huge stack of paper, some users stories and loose specs. Was tasked with engineering the specific requirements, then the models and finally the database. Then I need to build an API on top of that.
Stuff I'll use is Go and Postgresql. Small issue is, I've never done DBs, so I've no idea what to do or where to start.
Does anyone have any resources to help kick-start myself in this field? I've been reading on SQL, but that doesn't really tell me anything about data structures and how to transform those user stories into product requirements.6 -
Last night I had a dream that knowing how to use Kali Linux was one of the requirements for a job I was looking at applying for.
So I was thinking to myself "hey, I know Kali, I should put that on my resume," but I was too lazy to do it right away, and when I did try to add it, my resume wouldn't compile (LaTeX) because one of the brackets was missing, but I couldn't find where the missing bracket was.
It was weird...1 -
Coworkers at the office kitchen always act so surprised when they find out that I like coffee even though I rarely drink some. Well, I just don't need caffeine to function properly. Simple as that.1
-
So today we had a pre-sprint-planning meeting where the POs told us about the stories currently in the backlog. They went ahead and "roughly prioritised" some of them. Their priorities were:
- normal (but asap please)
- has to be done this sprint, because the feature has to be in the next release (code freeze after this sprint)
- top priority, because this has to be in the previous release (which was released last friday)
The non-normal stories alone are about twice our normal velocity. Good job guys. Good job. -
If someone here reads on Medium a lot, this might be useful for you: https://producthunt.com/posts/...
This is my second browser extension and it's open-source. It lets you read all Medium stories for free. Hugs and / or bugs welcome! 😇8 -
so.. I took a drink tonight, and finished watching some devRant posts about alcohol and some funny stories..
whats wrong with u guys 😂1 -
oh god, my Google Launcher/Google Now or whatever it is called "Stories to read" is filled with April Fool's Day articles... 😑4
-
This is why I sometimes hate freelance work. You do the stuff and when it's time to pay, ducking clients come up with stories4
-
Do you think Facebook developed different " stories" for each platform . Or just copy paste the code !?
U know .. WhatsApp , Instagram, messenger, FB .7 -
Devs: We've spent some time estimating the stories, and found that we will finish a month too late. Which stories should be removed?
PM: None
Devs: Which are less important?
PM: All are vital. (read: Work harder)1 -
Not really a rant im new to the app love the community super nice people and great stories and informations1
-
!dev
It's 1 in the morning.
I am sleepy and really should be sleeping, but I open my laptop and load a scary stories website.
Then suddenly it's 3 in the morning.
What the hell.2 -
I got tired of the tedium of navigating dropdowns and required fields to open and close user stories, so I wrote a script with the following syntax:
./ticket open TICKET TITLE GOES HERE
./ticket close <TICKET #>3 -
Deploying to production on a Friday evening. What can go wrong? I hope I don't need to put out fires during the weekend.
Share your stories of ruined weekends and disasters!1 -
So time for some stories!
DevRant Masters, what did you find the most Challenging when starting out as a dev?
For me it wasnt actually writing good code, it was more about finding out WHERE to write it, in this clusterfuck of shared projects inside projects.1 -
i still haven't picked up graphql, might spend sometime next weekend seeing what it has to offer. anyone have any advice or stories?8
-
Hey I recently started working and had a few questions regarding fulfillment and sideprojects.
Although I am a game programmer now, the game we are making is not at all something I find interesting. I find myself wanting to work on some side Projects at home but its difficult to manage my time (obviously) and I cant really relax.
I do enjoy the work making the game, like, I like making the systems, I enjoy programming it, but I dislike the gameplay and the games thematics, so its a mixed bag.
I only worked there for 2 months and the game takes at least all of next year to be made. I dont want to quit, because its my first job and all and it would be stupid I dont really habe a reason to quit.
I guess I just want to hear how others are handling a situation like this2 -
Audibles are a great way to fall asleep... Like granny's bedtime stories... I used to listen to music before but now it's pretty much replaced by audio books and podcasts.1
-
Some moron at shitstagram: I have an idea! Let's make the already unbearable IG stories even more unwatchable by making a Q&A feature so people will spam even more stories with shit noone gives a fuck about.
Sometimes I wonder why I even use this shit...1 -
Im sad my fellow programmers, hit me with you love stories, good or bad. Everything will do...
I know this has nothing to do with programming pls no report....12 -
what would you guys think of a user-controlled news app? like people would posts stories, and users would control what content would be featured in their respective categories. then you would have a feed of all the categories you follow. story integrity will be controlled by users approval and by corroboration.
sound cool?7 -
y'all hear those stories about people who are blind and go into computer science and programming classes because they wanna make games
i'm in a digital entertainment class geared towards game development because i wanted to code bUt gUeSs wHat1 -
Have you guys ever seen another dev at you work just completely lose it? How do you cope with stress, rage, frustration at work? (other than DevRant) Stories, please.7
-
Just wondering on some agile best practices. Do you guys estimate efforts for defects? My PO is totally against it and says we deliver 5 to 7 pointers user stories + fix all the defects from previous sprint and current sprint, which I feel is over burdening the Dev team + in hurry to complete current sprint stories delivering poor quality work, which in turn become defects in the next sprint 😨 caught in this loop for a while now 😫4
-
Freelancers: How do you get your Clients? How do you convince them of what you can do for them? Any articles, tips, experiences and stories appreciated!8
-
I m in holidays far from my keyboard... ( Desert in Australia) It feels so good to read some coding stories.2
-
Finally git started providing unlimited free private repos.
Hope it won't start adding story like FB groups 🤣5 -
I'm not proud to admit that I was searching for the stories section just to notice that I haven't even updated the app.. Silly me 😅
-
Something you really should not do:
*adds a new feature*
*build & run*
*See no difference*
Me: "Hmm.. Maybe 1 is not the best test integer, let me pick something higher..."
*build & run*
*INTEGER OVERFLOW EXCEPTION*
Feel free to share your "let me choose anothee test integer"-stories, which gone terribly wrong.1 -
What if one day you wake up and surprisingly you find new feature by Github called Github stories.
What would it be....
Go ahead improvise.7 -
Management wanted all features finished by close of business yesterday to start testing before a demo next week.
I started work at 8am to get my task out of the way early. Unfortunately there was another persons task that mine was dependant on. I kept telling people it needed to be merged so i could integrate it with my changes.
It was merged at 5pm.
I was still fixing merge conflicts at 8pm. 😑1 -
Seeing articles and stories and rants here of other devs gives me anxiety when they mention CS concepts and algorithms and stuff. My college teaches IT and not CS, so none of that more complex stuff. I begin to fear my hiring potential without that knowledge.
Luckily, there's online resources everywhere.7 -
Started my very first (summer) job as an IT agent in customer service for my city less than two weeks ago and finally moving out from the formations to answer the phone alone.
I must've listened to around 30 calls and already there's stories I could make tales of.
I now understand the job of customer service. -
!rant
wow... so just finished watching the last episode of Naruto...
I haven't watched though since they beat that final boss thing, thought it was all filler/side stories like Bleach... But yea, did I miss anything good? Was there a build up to the final ep?1 -
Anybody has an opinion on CMU for a machine learning or robotics PhD? You think they'll let me in? (I've heard horror stories from their selection process tbh)
Also, any good Canadian unis and degrees for AI/robotic combo PhDs?7 -
At the end of the sprint half of the stories didn't get done due to lack of coordination to put 4 people in the same room and get them to agree on the solution.
During Retro my Scrum Master says: Are these stories not done because we haven't estimated them during sprint planning? 😂 -
Interview stories. What are your funny/bizarre /success stories both as an interviewee or interviewer?6
-
Imagine getting a 182 day chat ban on your favourite bhop server because you used the f-word too many times while telling extremely personal stories to people that where nice enough to listen11
-
So, since yesterday was such a wild ride, I was wondering if any devRant veterans would share for the younger members some memorable/infamous rants and stories from the past?4
-
I'm so excited about containerization and also ML. I think those are my biggest nerdgasm stories at the time. So please share some useful resource to learn, I will do it as well :)2
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Yes I know that's too many points this sprint.
I understand you have to have all the things.
No I can't move the stories out bc you gave us a hard deadline for the release. -
Does anybody have any good stories about recruiters or are they all these people that spend all day on LinkedIn viewing profiles and ringing developers about short time positions with little or no description?1
-
Migrating from opengl to vulkan. In the meanwhile, DevRant, let's talk about Balmers Peak !
Share your stories!3 -
I was writing a random rant about something that happened to me this morning, and the app decide to crash a second before I could post it.
I get it devRant, my stories aren't interesting, but you could at least have crash at the beginning and not after I have already spent half an hour writing the story :( -
So, towards the end of a particularly disruptive Sprint, the Product Owner Manager, who asked for A3 pictures explaining the flow to him and had multiple meetings with us and business and rewrote a spec of something already in development and changed priority of stories, wants to know... what is taking so long and business wants all these changes next week.
-
Anybody got junior dev motivational stories?
I got into development from sysadmin'ing about a year ago with a course. Finished it 3 months ago and self-learning ever since.
I find it so hard to do complex stuff by my own and I find myself learning too much from tutorials and working too little. -
I just wanted to say that most rants I saw today were great. Loads of original pics and good stories. This, while others think devRant is becoming more and more of just a repost forum. Any thoughts?1
-
I'm easily a Digital Oceans fans, though I have heard horror stories, so I might set up a system to do regular backups.
I'm considering migrating my current server to something FreeBSD based, so I can easily do ZFS snapshots, and even code on my machine at home and just send the jail as a snapshot. Like docker, but different.5 -
The new guy ran into traffic one day instead of using the crosswalk with the rest of us. There were several pirouettes involved and luckily the cars slammed the brakes in time. To this day we still have no idea why he did it.
There are many stories about him doing strange things but this was the most memorable by far. -
So I was wondering... What's the worst burn you've seen from an unknown angry dev that you had to clean up?
A recent one of mine was a client in need with nuked hosting, nuked domain records, no backups, no access to any accounts and the business set to permanently closed on Google.
I thought that last one was a nice touch!1 -
!rant
Does anyone know of any websites that have project ideas with requirements/user stories. I generally get side tracked if I sit down and just build something. There are a few full stack projects on freecodecamp with user stories which made me wonder if there are any other similar sites.2 -
!Rant
I'm helping a customer who calls in all the time for support. At the end of a call this exchange happens.
Customer: So I have this game...
*Points at a solitaire icon on his desktop*
Customer: If we open that up, there's this little thing here...
*Game opens and there's an ad in the bottom right corner*
Customer: Can you get rid of that?
Me: I can't, not in applications like this. This is the free version of the software and add are how they make their money. If you did want to play without ads, Microsoft has the Solitaire Collection for free
*Makes shortcut to Solitaire Collection on desktop*
Me: There you go -
Just joined a start-up as full stack developer intern ! The environment are so clean ! (Physical and Dev environment!) I'll start posting rant stories sometimes then 😊3
-
Well, after almost a year of doing self study and what not... I decided to enroll in a bootcamp. Partially to help keep me accountable, mostly to help with networking and making contacts in the industry around me. I'm really stoked for it in spite of skepticism. They do offer guaranteed job placement if you finish the course, which was a major selling point for me. I'm curious if anyone on here has attended one? Thoughts? Success stories? Horror stories? From the research I've done, seems like you get what you put into it.
-
Around a year ago I got drunk, watched half of True Detective s01 over the night, and posted stuff like this to Instagram Stories.
I don't have access to alcohol right now :/
7 -
Mansplaining stories are my favorite thing on the internet right now tbh
Anyone got any good ones?7 -
Reading through these horror coworker stories and getting anxious what my colleagues would say about me actually. I only started working part time 6 months ago and I definitely have a lot of moments when my questions are plain dumb. The recurring theme I see in these rants is the stubbornness to learn so to everyone reading these stories and getting self conscious stick to it :) having questions and facing problems the only way to learn something and get better. Thanks for the stories everyone.
-
I have several stories from the same mentor. Programming, networking etc...
2 of my biggest lessons from him:
1. "If it has to be done more than once, it can be scripted".
2. "He who controls the network packet wins". -
Sprint planning meeting going nuts with 8 people shouting over each other and people standing up out of chairs to be heard.... Craziness.... Went in with expectation of just making skeleton of the user stories and discussed nitty gritty implementation details
-
I wish we can re-share ( retweet ) some rants and stories on devrant. Like it's a need more than a feature.9
-
You stupid tester first add you freaking requirements and not just put back stories on todo and say it's not finished. You are just testing how an web app works. We can also automate that process you know!!!!
-
Well my PO introduced the concept of owning stories (which we naturally used to do) in our pairing environment. After we gave names, we started seeing each other like seven different kingdoms. Suddenly my PO looks like Cersei. And I am looking like Theon Greyjoy, hardly worried about other stories and stuck with no pair to complete my stories. That's how pair programming died a casual death.
P.S : Tomorrow is my (our) demo !! 😭😭4 -
Noticing that we have several stories in sprint that are scattered across the backlog, some are at the top, some at the bottom...
Me: I think we should prioritize the backlog.
PO: I agree; When do you think you'll be done?1 -
Ok so this is more like a question than a rant
Have you ever gotten to close to your boss and how did it turn out for you?
Currently im as close as you can get without marrying her but we have trouble separating work from our private life...
Any advice or stories that you can share would be much appreciated1 -
Historian who fucks up history stories every time I try to talk about them.
I love history, but I'll be damned if I can actually remember the details correctlyor articulate them1 -
I have a list of favorites but the first person that always usually comes to mind is John Romero.
I love listening to the talks Romero gives and even though I don’t partake in the practice of developing games I still love hearing his stories about his projects development or having to work with old/retro tech and learn something from those stories. -
Has anybody been at a place when you try to finish stories but it just takes too long? And finishing work in general seems very difficult? How do you deal with this or break the cycle?
-
java vs javascript. if you know those stories you will love java in much ways. maybe other people will compare about comsuption ram or heavy processing in java but if you really know java do, you will be fall in love like romeo love juliet doing.
-
Since I can't get my user stories today, I started on trying getting my angular frontend to communicate with my symfony backend. I now feel like I need a lot of climbing gear, because I get the feeling I went too deep into the rabbit hole.
getting quite confused with Observables and promises.1 -
I understand that impostor syndrome is an occupational disease among devs... But what does it take to overcome it?
Any good stories/advice?6 -
Every day, the SM likes to come by the dev table and ask what our updates are (stalking jira + dev slack channel is apparently too boring).
He comes by every 2 hours.
Each time asking about how close I am to finishing not only the current feature but the other stories I have to work on too.
The other stores are not in progress, what makes you think I was working on them in the background of what I'm currently working on?
Doesn't help that we somehow keep adding stories mid sprint, -
When you interview, remember that the single biggest factor in getting an offer is whether the interviewer likes you or not. I could tell lots of stories to back that up but it would take forever. So my TL;DR version would be: it isn't the only thing that matters, but trust me - it's crucially important.
-
I'm bored and can't sleep soooo...
Bad clever code vs Good clean code
Worst / best examples. - what's devRant got
Stories, pictures, links. All mediums are welcome1 -
Many decades ago, people thought about future by writing stories and making movies with flying cars and made up technology beyond belief but what we got today are food ordering apps and dating apps.
Well, its good those cars never came out, because I would rather order food at home and watch Netflix than fly around.3 -
@dfox i like the new stories feature. would be cool if there were another section that only showed posts with pictures. kind of like imgur is to reddit
-
it's going to be a 'headphones on and don't disturb me' kinda day, fucking bugs and not stable apis and a lot of stories to finish...
-
!rant
I see all these really awful dev stories and here I am, without a single one...yet. What are the signs of a bad dev storm brewing?1 -
When we take user stories in sprints but dependencies are not resolved. I have to wait till n-1 the day for the upstream team to go to UAT and then push half my tasks to next sprint for testing \ prod . Fuck the planners - _-|-_-¦
-
Something that I think devs have to do, is say 'hell no' to their superiors. Anyone got any war stories for this? We can use the tag 'nope' to group them all?2
-
I feel like we should ressurect devops reactions on devrant, and put dedicated tab right beside stories and projects,1
-
Even if he's emotional, someone on devRant have similar stories/experiences?
http://churyumov.com/2019/02/...2
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