Some love stories are immortal.

We just launched our new stories feature! If you go to the "stories" section, you'll see only rants that are over 70 words and you'll be able to easily enjoy the best long-form rants on devRant!

Just to clarify - all functionality is remaining the same. The main feed will still show all rants. Stories just makes it easier to find fun rants that involve more detailed stories/ranting and helps give them some more exposure.

We hope you enjoy! Feel free to comment here if you have any questions/suggestions about this.

Oh fuck off Google.

YouTube has stories now.

Brb going to throw up in a trash can. The most fucking stupid feature for YouTube.

Inside Apple Stories

There was a previous developer who my managers has told us was terrible and toxic. Yet due to terrible planning, he had everyone work for over 13 hours last Sunday.

I contacted this previous developer to learn his side of the story and learned a lot. I realize between their two narratives is the truth, but I see all the ways we've been lied, the ways this other dev was scapegoated and all the additional work that's sure to come.

I refuse to work weekends again. I refuse to work over 40 hours. I wish I could convince everyone else to do the same. No amount of money is worth making up for bad planning and management.

Can't wait to read a bunch of stories about myself on this weeks rant.

Just broke 3000++ but no stress ball because my stories aren't as funny as my comments. :(

A method that contains over 9000 lines of code.....
Are there really production codebases out there with stuff like that? If yes I am scared as hell because I don't want to work with that kind of code once I graduate
Tell your stories!

Snapchat: You can't just copy all of my concepts and sell them as yours.

Facebook: Watch me.

I open up facebook to look at fake news stories. I unfollowed everyone on my friends list.

I open up devRant to be a part of a community. A group of people that share the same interests.

Shouldn't be necessary if you just write understandable code xD..... Some people just write stories in between 2 lines of code....

First ever job interview (in my field) went well and I got the job two days later! (my current one).

I'm getting scared from the other stories though 😅

New to devRant and after reading a few stories, I knew that this is where I belong😁

in an alternate universe there exists a clientRant, where clients come together and share their horror stories of dealing with devs.

Snapchat, then Instagram, then WhatsApp, then effin FB messenger...
devRant please DO NOT GET THAT SHITTY 'STORIES UPDATE' NOW...

Ummm ..
I'm a PHP dev.
I still accept WordPress Websites.
I usually use bootstrap but haven't tried 4.0 yet.
I occasionally touch jQuery.

:3 still wanna hear my disappointment stories?

All good stories start with "when I pushed to production on a Friday..."

There should be a name for rants about fake stories. Like the ones you read and can smell some bs going on. I suggest frants.

***Interviewing potential sys admins so us devs don't have to build everything and run everything***

Coworker: Do you know how to use cron and cron jobs?

Candidate: Yes I'm familiar with setting up users and permissions.

Me: 😳

Coworker: 😳

Boss: We will give you a call have a good day.

If you had just admitted you didn't know but we thought you could learn we might have been open to teaching you but brazenly acting like you know something when you don't is dangerous if you're running a multi thousand user production system.

Anyone else feels this way?

Any good stories to share about that as well?

Scary stories in 5 words:
"Bash: ls: command not found"

Dev: we have two days until go live. We got 20 bugs, 5 stories and two people on holiday.

PM: ok so could we get these 3 stories squeezed in as well?

My favorite IT story (not mine) is that the server needed to be rebooted whenever it froze completely. The best solution? Get an old PC that had a CD drive, and every time it loses connection to the server, eject the CD tray which had a poking stick attached that hits the reset button.

Hi everyone. I'm new to this. Been lurking for a quiet some time. Best community ever IMHO ☺ Started my first programming language as c++ now somehow ended as web developer as hobby. Big shout out for you guys love your all stories ♥

I need someone to back this up and tell more stories of the olden days 😂

Story time:

Ok so I'm in school and I'm on the computers we have to do a project on them the with rest of the class and I'm sitting beside this guy let's call him Bob (not his real name) anyways so Bob is working away on his computer and I'm trying to move documents and i decided to use cmd for it so opened it and then bob saw the cmd window and yelled "TEACHER HE'S TRYING TO HACK THE SCHOOL" then my teacher came over who has no idea how to operate computer like the rest of the class im surprised they can even turn the computer on anyways my teacher comes over and yells "PRINCIPALS OFFICE RIGHT NOW" and I'm like WTF?! anyways I have to explain to the principal what I was doing but she didn't understand so I go detention that day. Thanks a lot BOB!

Personally, the best way of getting through tough dev days is by reading books or writing stories and poems.

WTF!
Linkedin stories..

this is not Instagram or Facebook or any of those sites.

Linked in is for Companies and yourself to have a public CV in a fixed format that for everyone is the same and easy to understand! F#CK!!

Programmer one-line horror stories? A few off the top of my head:

Segmentation fault (core dumped)

'Undefined' is not a function

Unit test failed: expected '0' but got '-1'

Connection to 'localhost:8080' has been lost

Malformed JSON string at col: 46,372. Expected '}'

<Email thread>

Manager: Hey @iiii, please, create stories for {things that shall be done}. You will be responsible for that implementation next sprint.

Me: *procrastinating like a bitch*

**several hours later**

Dev from another team: Actually, we discussed that with {upper management guy} and it seems like those things are unapplicable for current project, so we'll send a letter to {client} to remove those requirements.

Manager: @iiii, don't create stories.

</Email thread>

Me: *welp, good thing I did exactly nothing so far*

I've found and fixed any kind of "bad bug" I can think of over my career from allowing negative financial transfers to weird platform specific behaviour, here are a few of the more interesting ones that come to mind...

#1 - Most expensive lesson learned

Almost 10 years ago (while learning to code) I wrote a loyalty card system that ended up going national. Fast forward 2 years and by some miracle the system still worked and had services running on 500+ POS servers in large retail stores uploading thousands of transactions each second - due to this increased traffic to stay ahead of any trouble we decided to add a loadbalancer to our backend.

This was simply a matter of re-assigning the IP and would cause 10-15 minutes of downtime (for the first time ever), we made the switch and everything seemed perfect. Too perfect...

After 10 minutes every phone in the office started going beserk - calls where coming in about store servers irreparably crashing all over the country taking all the tills offline and forcing them to close doors midday. It was bad and we couldn't conceive how it could possibly be us or our software to blame.

Turns out we made the local service write any web service errors to a log file upon failure for debugging purposes before retrying - a perfectly sensible thing to do if I hadn't forgotten to check the size of or clear the log file. In about 15 minutes of downtime each stores error log proceeded to grow and consume every available byte of HD space before crashing windows.

#2 - Hardest to find

This was a true "Nessie" bug.. We had a single codebase powering a few hundred sites. Every now and then at some point the web server would spontaneously die and vommit a bunch of sql statements and sensitive data back to the user causing huge concern but I could never remotely replicate the behaviour - until 4 years later it happened to one of our support staff and I could pull out their network & session info.

Turns out years back when the server was first setup each domain was added as an individual "Site" on IIS but shared the same root directory and hence the same session path. It would have remained unnoticed if we had not grown but as our traffic increased ever so often 2 users of different sites would end up sharing a session id causing the server to promptly implode on itself.

#3 - Most elegant fix

Same bastard IIS server as #2. Codebase was the most unsecure unstable travesty I've ever worked with - sql injection vuns in EVERY URL, sql statements stored in COOKIES... this thing was irreparably fucked up but had to stay online until it could be replaced. Basically every other day it got hit by bots ended up sending bluepill spam or mining shitcoin and I would simply delete the instance and recreate it in a semi un-compromised state which was an acceptable solution for the business for uptime... until we we're DDOS'ed for 5 days straight.

My hands were tied and there was no way to mitigate it except for stopping individual sites as they came under attack and starting them after it subsided... (for some reason they seemed to be targeting by domain instead of ip). After 3 days of doing this manually I was given the go ahead to use any resources necessary to make it stop and especially since it was IIS6 I had no fucking clue where to start.

So I stuck to what I knew and deployed a $5 vm running an Nginx reverse proxy with heavy caching and rate limiting linked to a custom fail2ban plugin in in front of the insecure server. The attacks died instantly, the server sped up 10x and was never compromised by bots again (presumably since they got back a linux user agent). To this day I marvel at this miracle $5 fix.

People uploading each and every second of their lives in social media makes me sickk!!

!rant

Soon I'll get you, cute little dog. But it's still a long way writing stories of me screaming and complaining about everyone and everything.

After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog

Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h

PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla

Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.

PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later

Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.

PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time

Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!

Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*

Short horror stories

Backend stories

Listening to professor tell stories about when he used to develop, is like listening old war stories.

Back when I was in university, this teacher would tell us different stories about his days as a developer. This was one of the last ones, and I think it has not changed much since then.

*Phone rings*
Professor: Hello?

Client: I don't know what the fuck you take me for!

Professor: Oh, hello Client_Name. What seems to be the problem.

Client: This doesn't work! There's nothing here!

Professor: Ok, do you see the program file?

Client: No. I just said that there's nothing here.

They proceed to go over the issue and how to get the program to run. Or at least show up on the PC. This goes on for about 30 minutes.

Suddenly my professor has a thought.

Professor: Have you tried inserting the Floppy disk from the other side? Try flipping it.

Client: ...

Fuck , fuck y'all who use hashtags where it doesn't work. Idiots adding hashtags to stories on WhatsApp, Snapchat. It hurts. Stop.
Join me in this revolutionary movement to stop hashtag abuse.

Yeah boss, lets study Scrum extensively so you can:

- Create variable length sprints
- User stories that are meaningless like 'fixes'
- Tasks that should be User Stories
- Duplicated tasks/stories that are on the fucking backlog already
- Cross sprints on projects
- No meetings at fucking all to determine who will do what
- Assign people on vacation to current sprints

The list goes on...

An when I point things like that out lets just look at the guy who spent 6 months studying this shit, taught you ( at least tried... ) as if he is saying nonsense while our projects get delayed and our code spaghettifies because we are always in a hurry for lack of time to plan anything :)

I bet there's a lot of stories here in DevRant

Stories from Cape Town Metrofail, Volume 30:

This screen has been operational for less than a week and it's already broken.

Customer writing User stories

Manager: With all the horror stories why are we even developers?

Me: Because once we get part the horror, we become geniuses.

Manager: So what you're saying is that being a developer is like taking a crap after being constipated for three weeks?

THX for 500++ !!! I'm so happy I found devRant by exident. I love reading rants and sometimes post my own stories.
PS: Now I can wear my JS Shirt and drink Red bull like in rl 😂 Thx again!

I was barely alive when Y2K was a thing, but anyone here have stories about it?

There are numerous horror stories about Windows updates, but Mac updates aren't better. Yesterday I updated to Catalina (reluctantly), and when the computer restarted I was silently praying "Please don't fuck up my VMs".
Naturally, it fucked up VMware...

Can one of the dev-senpais tell me stories of what using this was like?

Sometimes I get frustrated so I grab a decommissioned computer and take it to the roof, then I watch it plummet 4 stories to it's death.

Me:. "Because of x, y, and z tasks this week, I was not able to complete a, b, c stories. I will need two days to complete those next week."

Boss:. "you have Saturday and Sunday"

Me: .........

Who has a DDOS attack story they want to share ? Dyn put up the good fight today... DDOS attacks can be incredibly difficult to deal with ... Internet of Things devices makes this an even more complicated situation. Outside of calling Prolexic, any vets have some good stories ?

I've already read two stories of software engineers working on the field to end up becoming farmers years later. Almost as if there's a connection of disconnecting from the tech world after getting close to it.

Now even messenger has stories! :-(
When will this end!? And why the hell does Facebook need three versions of stories, in three different apps!?

Do you have any stories to tell ? Gestures like these always inspires me.

What made you get into coding? :) I'd love to read your stories!

Instagram has stories, WhatsApp has stories, Facebook and Messenger is testing out stories.
This is the future.

New role at Facebook: Stories Engineer.

Today in horror stories: setting up the local dev environment for a project I'm taking over creates changes and notifications in prod.

Oh and my local dev env is somehow receiving data from actual patients. I don't know how.

The best stories of "a coleague left his desktop unlocked and walked away for some time".

GO!

Stories from a Startup #1

CEO walks into co-worker's office, staring longingly out of the window at the lake below.

After a brief moment of silence, the CEO speaks...

"I wonder if that swan ever thinks... about me?"

Just startup stories:

Our backlog of tasks and bugs has officially reached 100+ tickets, all for me, the single software engineer at our "tech" company.

Huh, imagine that.

The new version of the (unofficial) client (now UWP and with "Stories") for Windows 10 is here... but I can't release it due to a Microsoft Store bug... 😢

Hope to see a Microsoft fix soon, because I can't wait to share it with you! 😝

Amazing API's and SEX!

Alright people, now that I've got your attention, I'm getting to the point where I need to plan and roll out a solid API for a project. So after reading a lot of the horror stories written here, What are the finer points of what makes an amazing API experience to use and integrate with over a poor one?
And don't say documentation (If you do explain why) 😁

Coworker bugs me by telling her dog stories, now I hate dogs.

made a Facebook app once that allowed users to submit their stories for a competition to win a tablet. The HTML form had no limit on length but ORM defaulted to 1000 characters in database, imagine the sourprise when we exported the data for the client at the end...

"Great stories happen to people who can tell them. " - Ira Glass

While I was working on a university project with my team, a teammate asked me why the window of the program in my screen was bigger than in his. I simply answered him that his screen was a FullHD one that had a 1920x1080 resolution, while mine had a lower resolution, and he was like "Noo! This isn't a fullhd screen, it's not so sharp".
So I showed him the "1920x1080" sticker right below his screen, and him again "Yeah, it could have this resolution but definitely it's not a FullHD screen".
- Ok, as you say...

The same guy two days ago was talking about creating a GUI in C.
I told him that C was the wrong language to build programs with a GUI, although there's some very old libs that allow you to do that in 16bit.
And him again: "Ok but Linux (distros) do that and the UIs are great!"
- Do you think that all the fucking Ubuntu/Mint/any distro code is written in C??

The funny thing is the arrogance with which he says all these bullshits.

P. S. We are attending the 3rd year of Computer Engineering.

Again I ended working for a company where people love to pride themselves because they're 'agile'.
Basically they bought A JIRA license, that's all.

The CTO decides the estimates privately.
He assign the stories.
No idea what's a retrospective.
The sprint ends whenever he wants.
No CI.
New stories continuosly added to the active sprint.

That's the risk of agile, unchecked power.

I’ll quit swearing when you stop moving user-stories in and out of the sprint DURING THE FUCKING SPRINT.

So we decided to adopt Scrum where in manager(scrum master) picks the stories for dev, changes them during sprint and also decides the complexity of task. so much for a servant leader!!

Each sprint lasts for 2 weeks. But I get the basic info to start working on my stories only when 3/4th of the sprint is completed....

So yeah....no one gives shit about estimation at least in my case.

Is this real life? Top two stories are bonkers.

Devrant Stories are here finally😄

Who would have thought that Ben Award's VSCode stories would be sold at 9000$. That's almost my entire college fees for 4 years.

Reads horrible code
Opens DevRant to rant about it
Reads some stories
Ok, better mood, I can continue working now.
What was my planned rant about again? Ah, it can't be that bad.
Goes back to the code: Oh no, it is that bad...

What would the stories function be in Visual Studio? Just think about it.

Any Covid-19 virus stories to share on how it affected your dev work live?

> 1 hr meeting
> 30 min free
> 30 min meeting
> 3 hour meeting
> 30 min free
> 15 min "check point"
> How hard is concrete from 20 stories?!

Why is everyone copying Snapchat? First Instagram stories and now the whole FB Messenger is basically a cheap clone.

Do they actually think they can steal the brand-loving sheep that are Snapchat's target demographic?

Microsoft fucking Sharepoint.

How can software so shitty exist?

To upload an image, I need to F12 and increase the dimensions on an iframe so I can click the save button.

Have any Sharepoint horror stories to share?

LinkedIn, now with stories.
Twitter, now with stories.
Stackoverflow, now with stories.
Slack, now with stories.
Devrant, stories coming May 2017

Everything Facebook related is having stories. At this rate other companies gonna have their apps feature stories. Just watch.

Morning there:)
To everyone who’s enjoying / doesn’t but is going to enjoy ( ̀⌄ ́) the DevStory:
here we go, with the third episode.

Leave a comment below and tell me your “dev stories” :)

Forgive me for I have sinned.

I feel like I need a bleach shower after having had to write these methods in my Dart codebase

The older I get and the more perspective I have on my career, the more I cringe at the times I thought I was awesome but I really wasn’t, especially in the eyes of or in comparison to others I’ve worked with who were much better at this than I am. In that respect, I have very few stories that _aren’t_ embarrassing. I sometimes wonder how I managed to stay employed this long. And whether any stories here on DevRant are about me.

Came down with the virus.

I thought it would miss me, and I would have a cool story to tell people about how I came out is the pandemic unscathed.

Now I will have absolutely 0 interesting stories to tell my grandchildren.

Ok anyone used code to get girls? Let the funny stories commence.

In "Sprint Planning", the team is supposed to come up with stories, break those down into tasks, estimate those tasks as a team, then let devs choose what tasks they want to work on based on the stories pulled into that particular sprint.

Instead, our manager creates the stories. He assigns the stories to each developer and then has that developer announce his theoretical tasks (without any research on feature's or project's requirements!) in front of the entire team. So, when I say, "I think it will take me 6 hours to implement this feature", he says, "6 hours? I think it will take 3." and then types the estimate as 3. I have so much rage when that happens. Then we continue to sit in the room for 2.5 hours where we go through this long data entry mess of him typing out tasks and second guessing estimates. There is no team deliberation or collaboration, its whatever the manager says.

While there are many issues I take with this approach, my pet peeve would be the second guessing of the estimates. It would make sense for teams members to second guess estimates as long as they are the same teammates who have the ability and possibility to take on the tasks themselves.

But I disagree with a manager seconding guessing an implementation feature that "I" definitely have to do alone, and they do not possess the immediate knowledge to implement it themselves.

Anyone that ever experienced that a personal/hobby project (side to work/school) became successful?
How successful? Did it beco.e your main job?
Was it mostly luck or a lot of hard work?
Curious to hear peoples stories and how common it is.

Web version of whatsapp requires your phone to work, my phone is dead, fuck me.

They should spend money to make the web version better instead of dat stories shit that no one use

Random boring stories about some coworker's kids.

All of those painfully incompetent coworker stories I could share are mostly about me, if I’m being honest. Most of the people I’ve worked with have been much more talented than I was.

The new devRant long story feature is great! Very nice to have them in one place. Thanks devRant team!

Sometimes I wonder how large the gap between tech savvy n normal is.

All those stories about too much time on social media...

and also not knowing why you should get a tempered glass screen protector.... Even if you're screen is reinforced with Gorilla Glass...

True Story for our User Stories... 😂😂

Who else is waiting for devRant live-stories feature 😂

In these GOT times,
managers will suffer,
PRs will not be merged,
Pivotal Tracker/Jira stories will not be attended to.
Stand-up meetings will be ditched.

Winter is here.

- have a look at the project
- brake it down into smaller stories
- estimate the time
- multipy it with 1.5
- add 1-3 days of testing
- add 15% project management
- add a 2 days buffer

= be happy with being done in 2 weeks, present it in 4

As I am now in a leading position in the middle of a agile transition:

has anyone got a source for a project done completely with user stories?

I am searching a real life example with already finished stories an active backlog and a documentation.

I just can't wrap my head around it. When and what do you document? In which Form do you document? How are you writing user stories with more content like diagrams and such?

(we use jira and confluence but just started with stories)

I read some articles on the topic and watched some talks but sill don't get the picture.

Question from curiosity:

Does anyone know of interesting things to try on unused electronics, like phones or game consoles? Does Anyone have any stories of such or something? Software and hardware wise?

A website where people with disabilities can share their stories and build awareness

Always thought writing free code is devaluing yourself. So, the stories coming out how the most popular used libraries' dev/maintainer having no income, complaining afterwards doesn't surprise me.

Why do people devalue themselves? I have no idea.

Bed-Time

Reading : bed time stories.
I.e.Stories on dev rant

Seems like most of the teacher stories are Linux teachers.

My boss is never gonna fucking understand scrum...

Even though I have explained him countless times he still creates user stories named "fixes" and puts all tasks in it...

Dude, are you having a seizure?

Did I just see stories on Facebook too now?

What do they want?!

Browsing Reddit for weird porn back stories and you stumble upon the efficiency regarding loops
P.S. - the comments has more

The feeling when you're in the zone for some important tasks and your coworkers just come and seat besides your table, start bullshitting each other with their flights delay stories. I wish there is a dismiss button for this kind of occasions.

Own before you do it.

Create user stories, fill tickets, draw diagrams, send approval mails, fill docs, write in the company blog and then some, before you even think about writing a line of code.

I wanna rant about a freelance job but I can't. Tell me your freelancing horror stories instead :D

Boy oh boy.. Reminds me of good ol college days. I was in my final sem when Amazon came to our university for campus hiring. I was very confident that I will get selected. Funnily enough I went till the final round and I had a feeling that it went well if not excellent. It was a Friday night and we had to wait two excruciating days for the final shortlisted result to come. On the evening of Monday my friend T called me and told me my name is not on the list. I was heartbroken. I asked him who all got selected and he said our friend A did. A was, and still is a good friend of ours and I was happy for him. That night we sat down for drinks and as the night progressed I anguished over my selection. I still remember solving a binary tree problem holding a glass of whiskey in my one hand. The next morning I woke up at 6, detoxed myself with fruit juices and sat in front of my laptop feeling full rage from last night. I sat till lunch and hacked a chrome extension in one sitting. Mind you I had no existing knowledge of extensions at that point of time. I sometimes look how my life has turned since that time and now I am one of the devs in a team which work on a product that itself is a browser extension. :)

Stories from a Startup #1.1

Picture of the swan in question. 😉 We were going to give it to him as a gag gift on our last day, but opted-out.

I am not developing for any client (yet). But reading all these stories and rants at devrant I think I am well prepared.

Whoa. Now i can write all my dirty and arduous stories with my codes here

Any U.S. Americans here who can confirm the stories about "U.S. Americans beginning to stock Up on guns and ammo"?
I mean it sounds plausible but it's surely mostly overblown by the media, right? RIGHT?!

Funniest recruiter stories. This is an unused gold mine I'm still waiting for. I believe even a separate tag was requested for it before.

I only have stories of dating affecting my code, relationships are so energy consuming... So much easier to be alone and deal with it.

I don't have much to rant about mostly because my stories aren't very interesting but also mostly because I'm kinda unaware of people's anger.

My company got bought out. Supposedly a good thing... Anyone got stories?

Facebook really out here copying everyone's features for their own app lmao.

First they stole stories from Snapchat and now they've made their own version of TikTok for Instagram (idk if it's on FB) and called it "Reels."

They're becoming the Apple of social media 🤭🥴

When I look at textfiles.com, it's pretty amazing to see what the internet was like back in the old days. I wonder if anyone here could share their stories? ☺

Let's have a thread for embarrassing new years stories!

Doesn’t everybody use Fibonacci story dev points to estimate stories?

Doesn’t.. everybody..? 😞

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Went in for an interview today and left my brain at home. Never been so tongue tied. And as it were I was the only remaining candidate. FML!

"Smart people are attracted to stories, not feature lists." - Johnnie Manzari

Google recommending stories about Firefox? To bad I already switched

Me: Open Jira. See 8 point story skip QA column and move into Done.
Ask dev why it didn’t go through QA.

Teammate: Oh, did they want to test this?

Commence argument that **all** stories need to go through QA.

What is the tallest building in the world? The library, it’s got the most stories!

Found an issue on Medium.com as I was not able to comment on some stories.. after some followups I found that it is because of CORS... they stopped responding after I responded with the reason. :(

Thank you for deleting our very first sprint.

The development was horrible and the management was a bizarre.

Thank you JIRA, and that one gay who accidentally deleted all 120+ stories and task.

PS. Calling gay is not an offensive word. He likes being called gay

Seriously, when will DevRant have "stories"?

I have dabbled with Linux quite a few times in the past (dual booting with Windows) and I'm looking to get into it again. Any recommendations? Any horror stories?

So far I've daily driven Ubuntu, Mint, Manjaro, and CrunchBang. KDE and Gnome are my go-to DEs.

My boss (who's in a different country) just joined our internal Skype group where most of our daily information is spread. She honestly thinks we work faster when she's asking questions about progression on stories via Skype.

Why doesn't some managers trust developers? >.<

Only after seeing horror stories on devrant do you think twice before rm -rf'ing something

As someone from the clothing/retail industry, I could never imagen a life within Tech.

I had a shop, it went very well. I had my ups and downs like most shop owners. Since the shop was on not on your typical shopping street, I had to make good relationships with my customers.

I enjoy talking to people, listen to peoples opinions, their day to day activities etc. After some years I really needed some much needed improvement to the administration and overall solutions. Checking around the internet I found some tools but expensive, or tools without those stuff I really needed.

As a can-do:er I am, I thought I would hook some tech people up and sell my idea, so they could make the product while I design it. They started build it, I watch. But they were busy all the time, no time to build something else. They taught me some code and suddenly, I was back at school learning to code.

And now, I'm a system developer. Really enjoying programming and the amazing world of technology. Even when I mostly talk to people over the web :')

Your best friend your colleague a developer you trust the most, your best buddy in the office can be a savage asshole sometimes.

Just sayin.

What are your "got backstabbed stories"

When you have assigned stories that are blocked by other dependencies being developed in the same Sprint... Oh boy, someone is not going to finish on time u.u

I read so many (amazing) sysadmin/ops stories, does that make this place devOpsRant? 😜

Best part of being a dev is that you get to be part of an amazing community like devRant.

Also the kind of jokes and stories devs get to share and laugh about is beyond anything. 😍

story:
reading thru devRant.
see lots of #fml stories.
think: these are fml-worthy?
fml.

So this happened a few days ago
I was working on a module assigned by my senior, and was the sole developer on that module. Just when I was breaking my head to get a bash script correct (was writing a bash script for first time), my senior comes and looks at my messy script and goes "No, no, no, no that's not how you do it. "
Takes the keyboard and starts editing my script opened in vim.
Did some cool restructuring, taught me a few things about bash and while talking to me kept the keyboard back at its place.
I keep my hands on keyboard while talking to him and press
[Escape] :q!
And as I pressed Enter my face went purple/blue thinking this is not good. 😨
(I have a habit to quit as I had almost never edited and saved a vim file before)
And he sees that face and says
what happened?
No nothing. Everything's cool.

I've been given a huge stack of paper, some users stories and loose specs. Was tasked with engineering the specific requirements, then the models and finally the database. Then I need to build an API on top of that.
Stuff I'll use is Go and Postgresql. Small issue is, I've never done DBs, so I've no idea what to do or where to start.

Does anyone have any resources to help kick-start myself in this field? I've been reading on SQL, but that doesn't really tell me anything about data structures and how to transform those user stories into product requirements.

Those horrible stories of windows drivers!

Is there anyone here who dealt with gaming addiction? I want real world responses, succes or failure stories. Not some third rate blog post copy paste replies please.

Gonna be applying for college. Gonna major in programming.. I've always read the horror stories.. I hope my teachers arent retarded and dont make me use shit software..

Any advice?..

I'm at this magnificent company, working scrum, doing continuous integration which is really very cool. But although the features we develop are really nice it is sooooooo boring.

One of our team members emphasized that we should not pick up new stories if we haven't finished previous stories yet. I agree to some extent but think it is ok to pick up new stories if you have nothing to do. But we may not.

So, here I am now. Literally waiting for the day to pass. This sucks sooooo much!

I'm a hard worker and perform at my best under pressure with many things to do. Now, I just deployed one tiny little story today. I can do much much more. I feel so useless and cannot believe that my client pays so much just for me being at the office. And occasionally clicking a button and writing a line of code. This is so fucked up.

i could tell you some stories but the truth is, it‘s actually Porn

rumor has it dfox and trogus are abandoning their jobs to prioritize adding stories to devRant.

i mean, a social network without stories? sounds incredibly stupid and irrational to me

What is your best stories while installing OS ?

I wrote a bot. Does it count as making a new friend from coding?
It writes me bunch of interesting news everyday, maybe it will get a name and start speaking the news stories so I don’t have to read them.

Considering moving to a new city for a job. Don't know many people in the new city besides a couple family members.

Thoughts? Stories of moving for a job? Funny jokes?

The two (unrelated) stories back-to-back on Slashdot this evening.

so.. I took a drink tonight, and finished watching some devRant posts about alcohol and some funny stories..
whats wrong with u guys 😂

Not really a rant im new to the app love the community super nice people and great stories and informations

I want to make a game that collects a lot of questions for reuse and where players answer these one after another to make up the most dumb funny stories. Alas, it's in planning stage now.

So today we had a pre-sprint-planning meeting where the POs told us about the stories currently in the backlog. They went ahead and "roughly prioritised" some of them. Their priorities were:
- normal (but asap please)
- has to be done this sprint, because the feature has to be in the next release (code freeze after this sprint)
- top priority, because this has to be in the previous release (which was released last friday)

The non-normal stories alone are about twice our normal velocity. Good job guys. Good job.

oh god, my Google Launcher/Google Now or whatever it is called "Stories to read" is filled with April Fool's Day articles... 😑

I need to see more Android dev rants/stories nooow!!!!!!!!

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Do you think Facebook developed different " stories" for each platform . Or just copy paste the code !?
U know .. WhatsApp , Instagram, messenger, FB .

Devs: We've spent some time estimating the stories, and found that we will finish a month too late. Which stories should be removed?
PM: None
Devs: Which are less important?
PM: All are vital. (read: Work harder)

All the stories I see about shitty clients makes me want to try freelancing 😶

I'm developing an app based on user stories and stuff. The business team used Trello to share them with the devs. Everytime they changed a comma, they'd upload a new file. We got to the point where a simple 1 page story had like 15 versions..
So a couple of days ago I suggested my project's PO she could use Confluence for that, I explained her the benefits like how it'd be easier to track changes and the best part: no 30 effing word files.

I checked it today and turns out she started using, but instead of writing stories on pages, she just downloaded everything from Trello and uploaded the documents there 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

"I'd prefer a team that commits to solving real customer problems over a team that just commits to finishing user stories." ~@davidjbland

Some moron at shitstagram: I have an idea! Let's make the already unbearable IG stories even more unwatchable by making a Q&A feature so people will spam even more stories with shit noone gives a fuck about.
Sometimes I wonder why I even use this shit...

Imagine getting a 182 day chat ban on your favourite bhop server because you used the f-word too many times while telling extremely personal stories to people that where nice enough to listen

The worst part of getting ghosted or a rejection letter is that a scarcity mindset slowly build into you and there’s not much you can do about it.

Seeing success stories from others helps to boost morale a bit, but.. fuck!

I got tired of the tedium of navigating dropdowns and required fields to open and close user stories, so I wrote a script with the following syntax:

./ticket open TICKET TITLE GOES HERE
./ticket close <TICKET #>

Audibles are a great way to fall asleep... Like granny's bedtime stories... I used to listen to music before but now it's pretty much replaced by audio books and podcasts.

So time for some stories!
DevRant Masters, what did you find the most Challenging when starting out as a dev?

For me it wasnt actually writing good code, it was more about finding out WHERE to write it, in this clusterfuck of shared projects inside projects.

y'all hear those stories about people who are blind and go into computer science and programming classes because they wanna make games

i'm in a digital entertainment class geared towards game development because i wanted to code bUt gUeSs wHat

This is why I sometimes hate freelance work. You do the stuff and when it's time to pay, ducking clients come up with stories

Hey I recently started working and had a few questions regarding fulfillment and sideprojects.

Although I am a game programmer now, the game we are making is not at all something I find interesting. I find myself wanting to work on some side Projects at home but its difficult to manage my time (obviously) and I cant really relax.

I do enjoy the work making the game, like, I like making the systems, I enjoy programming it, but I dislike the gameplay and the games thematics, so its a mixed bag.

I only worked there for 2 months and the game takes at least all of next year to be made. I dont want to quit, because its my first job and all and it would be stupid I dont really habe a reason to quit.

I guess I just want to hear how others are handling a situation like this

Google Home Mini security nightmare stories. Aaaaand, go!

i still haven't picked up graphql, might spend sometime next weekend seeing what it has to offer. anyone have any advice or stories?

Reading those freelancing stories, I wonder: how did you guys got your first freelance?

Happy Halloween everyone!

Anyone got any spooky dev stories?

Have you guys ever seen another dev at you work just completely lose it? How do you cope with stress, rage, frustration at work? (other than DevRant) Stories, please.

Im sad my fellow programmers, hit me with you love stories, good or bad. Everything will do...

I know this has nothing to do with programming pls no report....

At the end of the sprint half of the stories didn't get done due to lack of coordination to put 4 people in the same room and get them to agree on the solution.

During Retro my Scrum Master says: Are these stories not done because we haven't estimated them during sprint planning? 😂

Freelancers: How do you get your Clients? How do you convince them of what you can do for them? Any articles, tips, experiences and stories appreciated!

Interview stories. What are your funny/bizarre /success stories both as an interviewee or interviewer?

What if one day you wake up and surprisingly you find new feature by Github called Github stories.

What would it be....
Go ahead improvise.

Management wanted all features finished by close of business yesterday to start testing before a demo next week.
I started work at 8am to get my task out of the way early. Unfortunately there was another persons task that mine was dependant on. I kept telling people it needed to be merged so i could integrate it with my changes.
It was merged at 5pm.
I was still fixing merge conflicts at 8pm. 😑

I m in holidays far from my keyboard... ( Desert in Australia) It feels so good to read some coding stories.

Anybody has an opinion on CMU for a machine learning or robotics PhD? You think they'll let me in? (I've heard horror stories from their selection process tbh)

Also, any good Canadian unis and degrees for AI/robotic combo PhDs?

1. Create new trello board
2. Add user stories
3. Rant