Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "!circus"
-
Client: Can you provide some kind of guaranteed timeline that you're going to be able to move our website to our new servers with the optimizations implemented? I know you said it should take a week, but we have 3 weeks to get this moved over and we cannot afford to be double billed. I'm waiting to fire up the new server until you can confirm.
Me: As I said, it SHOULD take about a week, but that's factoring in ONLY the modifications being made for optimization and a QA call to review the website. This does not account for your hosting provider needing to spin up a new server.
We also never offered to move your website over to said new server. I sent detailed instructions for your provider to move a copy of the entire website over and have it configured and ready to point your domain over to, in order to save time and money since your provider won't give us the access necessary to perform a server-to-server transfer. If you are implying that I need to move the website over myself, you will be billed for that migration, however long it takes.
Client: So you're telling me that we paid $950 for 10 hours of work and that DOESN'T include making the changes live?
Me: Why would you think that the 10 hours that we're logged for the process of optimizing your website include additional time that has not been measured? When you build out a custom product for a customer, do you eat the shipping charges to deliver it? That is a rhetorical question of course, because I know you charge for shipping as well. My point is that we charge for delivery just as you do, because it requires our time and manpower.
All of this could have been avoided, but you are the one that enforced the strict requirement that we cannot take the website down for even 1 hour during off-peak times to incorporate the changes we made on our testbed, so we're having to go through this circus in order to deliver the work we performed.
I'm not going to give you a guarantee of any kind because there are too many factors that are not within our control, and we're not going to trap ourselves so you have a scapegoat to throw under the bus if your boss looks to you for accountability. I will reiterate that we estimate it would take about a week to implement, test and run through a full QA together, as we have other clients within our queue and our time must be appropriately blocked out each day. However, the longer you take to pull the trigger on this new server, the longer it will take on my end to get the work scheduled within the queue.
Client: If we get double billed, we're taking that out of what we have remaining to pay you.
Me: On the subject of paying us, you signed a contract acknowledging that you would pay us the remaining 50% after you approved the changes, which you did last week, in order for us to deliver the project. Thank you for the reminder that your remaining balance has not yet been paid. I'll have our CFO resend the invoice for you to remit payment before we proceed any further.
---
I love it when clients give me shit. I just give it right back.6 -
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8 -
My whole team was a circus:
- Dev 1, the senior: he will be spent his days coding his personal projects and will convince management that everyone else needed to prove themselves so he will have nothing to do and we will do all the work.
- Dev 2, the junior: he was convinced that his mission in life was to be friends with his team. He's desk was far from the rest of the team so he will show just right after lunch EVERY FREAKING DAY with a list on his phone of random things he wanted to talk about like music, artists, art, news, etc., he really thought I didn't notice the list.
- Dev 3: the vegan: you will hear on every chance how she was so awesome for being vegan.
- Dev 4, the expert: if you ask him anything he will stare at you in silence to make you feel like you are a stupid for not knowing the answer and then turn around like nothing.
- Dev 5, the ghost: he will show early every day, code without mouthing a word and leave at 5pm, I think I heard him saying "hmmm" once but I might be wrong.
- Dev 6, the coder by accident: he was a graphic designer and ended up doing front end so he hated his job.
- Dev 7, me: the one who didn't care about anything but doing his job and leave.
- The project manager: she didn't knew anything about technology but will attend meetings with clients on her own, commit to deadlines and then inform us that the project that we estimated for 8 weeks will have to be done in 2 with new additions to the features.
You know the drill, here's your potato :/5 -
What is the most ridiculous over-the-top "startup" thing you've been the victim of as a developer?
Alternatively, what kind of weird startup luxury would you absolutely love to have at your company?
For me, at various companies I've worked at/visited:
1. Hammocks & fatboy beanbags. Current employer has a "Netflix & Chill" corner with nice couches, and a small gym. I have encountered isolation/flotation tanks at the office of one of our partners... which is cool, but over the top in my opinion.
2. A fully automated aquaponics garden in the lunchroom. Was awesome, until some fish died and started to rot.
3. One hoverboard per employee, at previous employer. I splashed hot chocolate milk in an arc over three desks. A coworker broke his ankle while watching me spill chocolate milk.
4. Daily scrum standup meetings, on socks, in a big bouncy castle. Not kidding. Fucking ridiculous... (but secretly fun). That employer also had spiral slides between all floors, a tiny half-pipe with tiny skateboards, and someone who rode a unicycle way too much. It was a fucking circus. Stuck in the office of a Fintech company.
5. Soldering bench (at my current company), with drawers full of breadboards, servos and electronics components. Completely unrelated to my work, but it was my idea. It's just great to build a simple kits together with another random coworker while brainstorming platform features & refining specs... much better than meetings with bullshit slides.
6. Unlimited energy drink. Developed a serious caffeine habit (15-20 cans a day), and almost got a stomach ulcer. Not beneficial to employee health.
7. I really do love working from home + unlimited holidays. Just being able to honestly say "fuck you guys, I'm gonna get drunk and play games today", and at other times working until 4am and sleeping in the next day, or taking a week to work in a park in Rome... It makes work truly feel like my favorite hobby. Combined with a good sprints and curious/ambitious people, you can easily track productivity anyway.19 -
managers: We're all aligned! Let's work as a team and get this started!
devs: ok...
managers and devs meeting to discuss next features: * canceled by managers *
managers: (word for word, can't make this shit up) we cancelled the meeting, we will define the roadmap for everyone
> WE will define the roadmap for EVERYONE
devs: uh wtf???
one hour later, managers: guys we are defining the roadmap can we have a call to discuss?
fucking asshat, insolent, disrespectful pieces of shit3 -
I’m a .NET desktop fullstack dev these days… Never worked web unless for my own small needs/personal projects.
I started using tech one way or the other by the time windows was version 3.1 and been through quite a bit ground-breaking changes in the industry of software development and the internet but if there’s one thing I cannot understand of it all, no matter how much thought I put into it is: How the fuck did we manage to make it so fucking complicated to develop anything these days?
I remember like it was yesterday that you could stand a website with HTML, CSS and JS, three fucking files and you’ve made yourself a single page site. Then came the word “Responsive”, “Responsive” written everywhere. Fair enough, grid system popped up. All of the sudden jQuery was summoned… and everything that happened after this point has been a fucking circus of high-pitched teens talking on conferences about fucking libraries and frameworks to make integration with real time, highly scalable, eco-friendly, serverless, data driven, genome aware, genderless, quantum technologies to interact with bio dynamically generated organisms, namely fucking users.
Every fucking bit of the process of building a mobile/web application seems to be stopped by yet another incredibly dumb attempt to suicide a developer. Can you go from starting an app and publishing an app without jumping through a thousand VERY specific hoops? No, fuck no.
I fucking hate it… It’s a bit hard to get Desktop dev jobs these days but for as long as I work on IT I will continue to stick to that area, until someone for the love of life comes up with a fucking solution to all this decadent circus of bureaucratic technocracy.
Fuck big industry, fuck tech giants, fuck javascript and webassembly, fuck kids putting ASCII art on console applications that I DON’T FUCKING NEED to install dependencies THAT I DON’T FUCKING NEED to extend functionality on frameworks that I DON’T FUCKING NEED… oh wait, I do need all this because YOU FUCKING MADE IT MANDATORY NOW! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!!!9 -
Successfully moved my server across the big pond - or so I thought.
Turns out that Vultr has newly acquired a IP range that was belonging to a ISP in Greece. So far so good. But, it existed on 6-7 blacklists, Vultr had failed to delegate the network to their rDNS, and my domain suffered from DNSSEC ( fuck DNSSEC )
After two days of complaining to Vultr because they did not believe me they finally fixed their shit. My domain did start working again from some reason that I dont know and the blacklists is being removed one by one.
The Circus ended with a beer on the balcony, I like beer 🍻🍻🍻9 -
These clowns make my blood boil.
fullStackClown: Hey I need some info on that specific color you want for this design
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this <<sends screenshot>>
fullStackClown: That is not a color, it is a screenshot
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: Do you know what hex code that is for that color? Can you ask the design team what color from our corporate identity they used?
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: Not helping... okay fine I used the eyedropper and I see the hex code is not used anywhere else in our app, so what color should I use?
managerClowns: Yes it should look like this
fullStackClown: ...22 -
Absolute asshat level clownly clownshipness:
Manager: Why is this like this? 🤡
fullStackClown: ...Because you defined the feature like this.
Manager: Hmmmmm ok... what about this? Why is this like this? 🤡
fullStackClown: ...Because you defined the feature like this.
Manager: Hmmmmm ok... and then this thing here? Why is this like this? 🤡
fullStackClown: Well, I hate to tell you, but it's a huge surprise. Guess what?! BECAUSE YOU DEFINED THE FEATURE LIKE THIS!!!
Manager: ... 🤡
fullStackClown: Any other absolute asinine questions to ask me to continue breaking me from flow?
Manager: ... 🤡
fullStackClown: ...
To those interested, I believe there is an evolution of my devRant career in order... I'm passing the clown phase... and entering the full-on circus phase...8 -
Finally put tiger inside grub!
Had to-do lot of circus!
Had grub without any background twice!
What are format of pictures supported by grub?8 -
If programming languages had honest slogans, what would they be?
C: If you want a horse, make sure you feed it, clean it and secure it yourself. No warranties.
C++: If you want a horse, you need to buy a circus along with it.
Java: Before you buy a horse - buy a piece of land, build a house in that land, build a barn beside the house & if you are not bankrupt yet, buy the horse and then put the horse in the barn.
C#: You don’t want a horse, but Microsoft wants you to have a horse. Now it’s up to you if you want Microsoft or not.
Swift: Don’t buy an overpriced Unicorn if all you wanted was a horse.
JavaScript: If you want to buy a horse & confidently ride it, make sure you read a book named "You don't know horse".
PHP: After enough optimization, your horse can compete the top most horses in the world; but deep down, you'll always know it's an ass.
Hack: Let's face it, even if you take the ass from the ass lovers and give them back a horse in exchange, not many will ride it.
Ruby: If you want a horse, make sure you ride it on top of rail roads, even if the horse can't run fast on rails.
Python: Don't ride your horse and eat your sandwich on the same line, until you indent it on the next line.
Bash: Your horse may shit everywhere, but at least it gets the job done.
R: You are the horse. R will ride you.
Got this from Quora.
https://quora.com/If-programming-la...7 -
I'm cracking up...
"chatGPT will ruin the software interviewing industry!!!"
uh.... what does it tell you about our industry if a fucking ROBOT can "ruin" the interview
well, you're right. it tells you that only algorithmic robots do well and subsequently earn the top spots at software companies after interviewing.
creativity, grit, perspective, wisdom? that stuff is absolute bullshit!!! (and as a feeble human I can't figure that out in an interview anyway!!! better just have you solve leetcode problems ad naseum!!! that'll get us the best employee!!!)
god i hate the dumb fuck rat race. good thing i'm not in it anymore! peace out, girl scout✌️5 -
Oh man, today just gets better and better...
Manager: * Creates ticket, which has a link to a shared pdf, with each page being a link to another ticket in our JIRA with unrelated bugs of what we are currently working on. *
fullStackClown: I'm closing this ticket and putting this feedback in the original ticket that I assigned to you to review days ago.
Manager: Rages like a little baby and removes my access to said shared pdf.
fullStackClown: Welp, looks like I'm done for the day! Cheers!5 -
I think my biggest problem is not being able to let go.
I love this product and believe in it 100%, but I CANT FUCKING STAND ANOTHER MINUTE WORKING WITH THESE FUCKING CLUELESS CLOWNS WHO ARE GOING TO DRIVE IT TO THE FUCKING GROUND!!!!!
...you know what? fuck 'em, I meanwhile reap $400+ monthly checks from Udemy, while our "best startup / amazing startup / omg wow lol i'm a fucking idiot" has earned a TOTAL of $200 in the past FUCKING YEAR
YOU FUCKING CLOWNS GET YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT OR I WILL TAKE THIS COMPANY OVER AND CONTROL ALL DECISIONS, IGNORING ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU THINK IS 'WISE' YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'WISE' IS YOU FUCKS!!!!!!!
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR BITBUCKET CREDENTIALS!!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN REVOKE MY ACCESS
AAAAAAAGGGGGG YOU FUCKING CLOWNS GODDAMMIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING I CANT EVEN I NEED TO SMASH SOMETHING TO GET THE RAGE OUTAASDASDJKLFJ;KLAFDSJKL;AFDSJKL;AFES L;KADFS AF LSAFS DHI;A EGWHIOAEGW IOAEGWHIO3 -
take your fucking feelings out of the equation
AND GET OVER IT
feelings don't get market share, features built, or any growth
so shut the hell up and grow up
AND DO YOUR DAMN JOB
you'll be proud devRant, I've finally decided to leave these clowns. updates to come...
only sad part is my rage posting will likely drop to very low levels, but i guess my own well being is a bit more important than devRant karma :) 🤷♂️6 -
He wanted to hire me as CTO but insisted of defining architecture himself even though he admitted he has no tech background. He insisted that his CRM doesn’t even need backend because “we have database”. He was dysgraphc but completely ignored accessibility, including measures for dyslexic people. He called his product “startup” but denied that startups need to constantly validate ideas and denied the conception of a/b testing, offering no alternative.
He also wanted me to work for free.
Bruh you’re not a clown, you’re an entire circus.5 -
BREAKING NEWS
A single full stack clown is far too forgiving for this world...
i'm now....
A FULL STACK CIRCUS!!!
🎟️🎪🤹♂️🎭🎡🤡12 -
Fucking React Scripts, "yOu hAvE mUlTiPlE VErSiOnS oF bAbEL-JeSt, Use nPm Ls Jest To TrACk It Down"
Ok you dumb fucks:
npm ls babel-jest
react-typescript@1.0.0 /Users/chris/Downloads/8sleu4
└─┬ react-scripts@4.0.3
├── babel-jest@26.6.3
└─┬ jest-circus@26.6.0
└─┬ jest-runner@26.6.3
└─┬ jest-config@26.6.3
└── babel-jest@26.6.3
OH LOOK THEY ARE BOTH IDENTICALLY 26.6.3 STOP BUILDING AN OPINIONATED PILE OF GARBAGE IN YOUR COCONUT TREE FUCKED UP FALSE PARADISE YOU CALL SILICON VALLEY!!!!!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BUNCH OF GARBAGE!!!! I'D PREFER A TOOL WRITTEN BY KINDERGARTNERS IN CRAYON!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
EVERY
SINGLE
TIME
REACT SCRIPTS
BREAKS2 -
just saw a tweet praising a company because of their choice to use swiss servers and they had a pompous sentance in parenthesis like (upside to banking secret culture)
like, dude, at the end of the day, guaranteed their 'server' is just a linux box somewhere, just like anywhere else in the world just STFU
god i HATE ignorance, hype, and stupid tropes that managers just automatically subscribe to with their 2 brain cell NPC brain4 -
At 20 I thought my life would be an adventure. At 30 it seems like it's a rerun.
The reality is that life is full of grey areas, "good guys and bad guys" on all sides of most issues, and the story and excitement eventually end.
sometimes getting old feels like becoming comfortable with being numb and mediocre.
you are not the star at the center of your own story.
there is no story. there is only today, and then tomorrow, and then the day after that for as long as they happen to go on.
I can see no greater meaning or purpose behind this circus.
people think in months, seasons, years. maybe some of you even have five year plans.
but for me, rome was yesterday. and every rome to come. thats how near it is. It is so close, it and so many times before and after it, I cannot explain the sensation.
and in the vast gulfs of time, I see the wars, the conflicts, the narratives, and they unfold like dust or scum swirling on a pond, mechanistic, telling stories about nothing, algae struggling over territory on a rock.
as clearly as day, I see it all.
I saw your birth, and I saw your death. Your pain, and your greatest joy. How is it possible to love a total stranger and know them intimately because of their shared humanity? And still.
And from afar, in the stillness, I can't help being detached from the world and its problems.
And when we die, it is as if the world dies with us. Because it is not the end of the world, but the death of our own.
Softly go mortals, gently to their gods, like flowers in the fading summer. Never grasping that the permanence of the true identity and the temporality of the spirit are as fundementally distinct as the permanence of say "the G note", against the brief sound it makes when touched.
Eh. forget it. Sentimentality is a curse sometimes.10 -
Me: "what program generated this file?"
They: *sends 200 lines of Perl in body of email*
Me: ...
Me: maybe I should just join the circus... -
Sometimes it's better to burn a bridge so you don't even think about crossing it in the future.
See, I left a company some years ago because I didn't see my future in it and all management combined had a collective intelligence of a chicken.
However, I got a call from them a couple of months ago asking me if I could return. The salary was double and the working arrangement seemed fine. On paper. WFH. Flexibile hours...
Since I actually liked the project itself for its technical challenge, I accepted the return offer. What a bad idea that was.
Of course, the things that made me leave for the first time had only gotten worse. Bad leadership, idiot developers in team leader positions. Tech debt higher than Mount Everest. Bad infra that makes you want to off yourself every time you work on it. The whole circus.
Seriously, the "senior" team leader will happily merge code that includes assert(true == true), but hold up a well written MR because he has a personal vendetta with the developer.
Personally, I always check him whenever he starts being an ass. But the poor juniors are in hell. They're terrified.
Now I'm leaving again, but this time I've made sure I can't come back.3 -
Alright... how the FUCK is an IP address considered personal data by GDPR????
Fucking boomers don't even know what an IP is. Guess what, every website you've ever been to has your IP! It's in your router, your fucking ISP's registry, and in every DNS server within 1000 miles of you!
Imagine thinking your IP gives up private information, god, just fuck me, I hate all of it, idiotic fools fumbling around with shit they don't understand.
...WKO making every developer's life a living nightmare because fucking GOOGLE FONTS stores a copy of your IP for their stupid analytics. You know what? Just don't use the internet either, that needs your IP too. In fact, don't pay taxes either, the tax office has a copy of your address, that's pretty personal information if you ask me! Just live in the woods and survive with the wolves.
I already know the future 'resolution' to this one - store fonts locally, resolve this dangerous "issue"... "waaaahhh fullStackClown! the site is slower now!!!"
...an infinite circle of clownshipness continues...
tune in next week as the world continues to approach it's circus fate!53 -
God why do I even log in anymore...
Just seen on LinkedIn: "Some exciting news will be shared soon. Stay tuned. 🎉✨"
Dude, literally not a single sad fuck gives two shits about your dumbass fake garbage. Just stfu
Maybe if you spent more time building product than posting on LinkedIn, you'd make some headway.1 -
Downvote on my stackoverflow question, no answers or comments yet
BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS THE ANSWER
Fucksticks, really hate everything software and software related, why am I doing this anymore16 -
teamLeader: We can't release because your change doesn't work, it breaks on the machine ABC123
iHateForALiving: I diagnosed the issue and I still don't know what's related to. BUT I'm 100% sure it's not related to my change, or anything that has changed in the last 24 months. Anyway we can take a look at this, just give me admin credentials for this machine.
teamLeader: no we can't.
iHateForALiving: ... Wait what? How am I supposed to reproduce the issue? Why can't I access the machine?
teamLeader: It's in use by the testers.
iHateForALiving: What for?
teamLeader: ... Educational purposes!
They report some issue on some particular machine, then refuse to give us access to said machine to reproduce the issue because they have "educational purposes", me and God know fuck kind of education I have in mind for this circus but as soon as I get my hands on them they'll get a hint.1 -
after beginning to learn numpy , i believe these packages were really created by some clown of a circus xD.
Everything is sooooo entertaining!!!
i learned java 3 years ago, but today if i had to crap out some crazy java or c++ expert , i would tell him about numpy's arrays...
Like , "hey dude python has this cool data structure in the numpy library called arrays, which can hold any datatypes in a kind of arraylist like fashion, and you can convert them from 1 dimensional to 1000 dimensional in just 1 line , and also do you know we can select any column with just array[position]? and even this position does not needs to be an integer, you can use a list , like array[[1,2,3]] will give you elements at array[1],array[2],array[3], and...."
wait, why is my friend dead ? xD
HAhahahaha8 -
At the turn of September, my mental health went really down hill.
I have always had problems getting to sleep and feeling that I don’t get enough sleep. So having a day without sleep didn’t feel so strange to me. Usually after that I have had great sleep, the next night not so much, and so. It is often a cycle of good and bad days / nights that gets triggered by too much stress probably.
This time I didn’t get to sleep the next night neither and I started getting really stressed about everything. I had psychosis-like symptoms. I super duper over-reacted to every stimuli and my head wasn’t in a good place.
I posted here about watching news and trying not to overreact and stress too much.
https://devrant.com/rants/2243611/...
Then I posted almost a cry for help where explained the situation with politics and world news. I don’t get it either.
https://devrant.com/rants/2245488/...
So I freaked out for no reason, and I just stressed more about the attention I got from devRant. Then I had a feeling that I’m being followed and thought that someone broke to my apartment. I was paranoid.
I left my home to calm down elsewhere. My dad’s and mom’s house. Didn’t help, and I ended up in hospital. Not too dramatic though. Just resting and trying out new medication.
Now it's better. I have the new medication and I'm having some health studies done on me so it won't happen again.2 -
Can someone explain to me why non-technical people even work in tech companies ??
I really don't want to sound like an asshole, but can you, for example, imagine that someone who doesn't even know what brick is would work on a construction site ?
Or can you imagine working in bike repair shop not knowing neither how to ride a bike nor how's bike is built ?
Sure, every company (especially large ones) needs bookkeepers/HRs/accountants etc. that don't need to know the inner workings of business.
Those people don't bother me, and they are necessary to keep the circus going.
I'm talking about all those middle management individuals.
All those "Project Managers" , "Business Analysts", "Directors' , "Principal Program Managers " etc etc ..
Such thing thing would be unthinkable in every other industry but somehow, in tech, anyone can work as long as they can throw a sufficient number of acronyms around.7 -
"Fauna's free plan has been adjusted from 5GB to 1GB going forward"
huh? I thought "tech was eating the world" "cloud is everything" "things are getting more efficient"
so why the hell do all these cloud providers keep DECREASING the free tier. annoying as all hell
where's all the storage and compute going? fucking crypto?
each day the 🤡🌎🎪 grows stronger13 -
can there just ONCE be a FUCKING react native library that works as it is FUCKING documented?
but NOOOO, gotta always sift through the absolute shit pile that is GitHub issues threads digging out arcane horseshit to make the stupid shit work just like the little managers want
on and on into the circus enternity6 -
so now they even have a name for not being an idiot...
its called a "composible" architecture as apposed to a "monolith"
what if i told you it's all the same?
(i'll even throw in a bonus and say that a "microservice" architecture is still a monolith - because you need all your damn microservices working together for the full product or service anyway!!! and thats a monolith!!!!)
wow, you've "decoupled" your frontend from your backend? with this fancy thing called an "API"? well, what the hell else was anyone doing in the past decade? ITS THE SAME THING YOU DUMBASS
god i swear its 🤡 all the way down, just inventing new words for the same thing over and over again. idiots. idiots everywhere
i'm just so happy we have "composible" architectures now ❤️ thank god for that6 -
Oh, gather 'round fellow wizards of the code realm! 🧙✨ Let me regale you with the epic tale of software sorcery and the comical misadventures that come with it! 🤪🎉
So there we are, facing the dreaded Internet Explorer dragon 🐉 - an ancient, stubborn beast from the era of dial-up connections and clipart-laden websites. It breathes fire on our carefully crafted layouts, turning them into a pixelated disaster! 🔥😱
And then, the grand quest of cross-browser testing begins! 🚀🌍 One moment, your website is a shining knight in Chrome's armor, and the next, it's a jester in Safari's court. A circus of compatibility struggles! 🎪🤹
CSS, the arcane art of cascading style sheets, is our magic wand. But oh, the incantations can be treacherous! A slight misstep and your buttons start disco dancing, and your text transforms into a microscopic mystery! 🕺👀
But fear not, brave developers! We wield the enchanted sword of Stack Overflow and the shield of Git version control. We shall slay bugs and refactor with valor! ⚔️🐞
In this enchanted land, documentation is the mystical parchment, often written in the cryptic dialect of ancient monks. "This function doeth stuff, thou knoweth what I meaneth." 📜😅
And meetings, oh the meetings! 🗣️🤯 It's like a conference of babbling brooks in the forest of Jargon. "Let us discuss the velocity of the backlog!" 🌿🐇
But amidst the chaos, we code on! Armed with our emojis and a bubbling cauldron of coffee, we persist. For we are the wizards and witches of the digital age, conjuring spells in Python and brewing potions in Java. 🐍☕
Onward, magical beings of code! 🚀 May your bugs be few, and your merges conflict-free! 🙌🎩3 -
Tell me you're a media-obsessed rube drone without telling me you're a media-obsessed rube drone. I'll start:
"SoFtWaRe JoB mArKeT iS hOrRiBlE aNd ShOwS nO sIgN oF rEcOvErY!!!"
hah, you mean those layoffs from that handful of frothed-over tech giants which had, I don't know, approximately ONE HUNDRED TIMES the amount of engineers they actually needed? I swear if i see this trope one more time i'm about to rage. can't wait until 2023 when this 'scare' will be but a memory. yes i'm muad'dib, golden path, worm god, whatever
but it's even simpler, you don't have to drink the spice:
- there are an estimated 205,741 people affected by the LaYoFfs (https://www.trueup.io/layoffs, actually a really cool site I just found)
- there are an estimated 3.87 MILLION software engineers, and that's just in the US, so it's safe to say less than 5% of the industry has been affected
so in short yes, you are a rube, i'll enjoy my multiple job offerings
should have been working on your craft instead of reading all those "news" articles. sheesh, i'd scare to hire anyone for a software position who can't get a grip on simple numbers anyway6 -
Good night Ya'll
@C0D4 has had way to much internet for one day!rant clowns in town i shouldn't have done that circus is in town awaits the good night comments floyd's going to have payback4 -
problem is i love working on software, exploring new tools, and building powerful apps
but i can't waste my life working for the 1000th iteration of microsoft excel3 -
I’m shocked, some of the hideously embarrassing questions these dim mother fucking senators have been asking Zuckerberg. Is this for real?5
-
lol
I had weird apple charges on my credit card so I called the bank and told them I didn't do them and own nothing apple.
they cancelled my card and sent me a new one.
the new one came with a paper saying I need to activate it and the first time I use it I might need to type in the pin.
credit cards typically worked if you insert or swipe you have to type in pin,
and you can wave it over the machine for small charges and that won't ask for pin, which is probably what they're saying is I can't wave until I pin.
so I go to the nearby grocery store so I can activate the card with the pin and order online groceries later, and coincidentally they have a new payment machine (why?), one of those without buttons that just looks like a phone.
I insert it, expecting it to ask me a pin... it beeps saying approved
so
I got credit card fraud and they sent me a new card
and the new card is literally less secure
it's like banks want fraud
when I was calling in or being re-routed with the bank the messages were always "higher number of calls than expected"
how bad is financial fraud rn. why are they making it worse
I don't think my card was leaked due to pinning though. when you order stuff online there should be an approval process on your end to confirm but it just doesn't exist. so if anyone gets your credit card info they can just sell that. I had to order a very hard to find drug from one sketchy (to me) website and after I did so that email got signed up to a weird newsletter and I harassed the shit out of that newsletter company for contacting me. I would assume they also sold my credit card details, or it "leaked" in a hack, whatever. this whole damned circus. I have 4 months of the drug but at some point I'll need more and they're the only ones that have it... so I guess I'll get to find out23 -
jesus christ a fucking company funded at 110 million A seed round can't figure out why i'm still getting charged despite the fact that I unsubbed in fucking april
...and they're using stripe!
i've been using stripe with my SaaS for 3 years and never had an issue with a single customer - if they don't unsub themselves, they email me and ask me to do it for them, done.
fuck the world fuck everyone
i just really don't have the motivation or inspiration to do anything anymore
call it ego but this isn't fucking rocket science8 -
Coding is not the solution to unemployment or gender inequality... This what the MF don't understand.... Until you create a better Sys and population is controlled and there is cultural evaluation. - you MF are just running a circus show.
Every MF want to jump into the bandwagon of cheap CSR - "hey we are empowering people by teaching people how to develop a website , aren't we good peopLE 😊"
Lol like programming is fucking open source, you don't need to teach people, anyone interested can learn it , and they are billion FREE RESOURCES out here for them to learn, so why not just fucking focus on doing something significant than clowning around "become a dev ".
Fuck havard, fuck Google fuck KMPG fuck the fucking dumb Government fuck youth empowerment📌4 -
today i said i had holiday until the new year and wouldn't open a code editor until then
and here i am 5 hours later looking at advent of code challenges, trying to do them in rust
🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡
also screw them for discouraging AI. if a tool can help me learn a new language faster i'm using it3 -
Unironically has "Blockchain Engineer" in their LinkedIn title...
yeah, good luck with life you fucking asshat
THAT'S RIGHT YOU ABSOLUTE SHIT BAD CODERS WHO DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT!!!!!!!
FULLSTACKCIRCUS IS FUCKING BACK!!!!!!!
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
just kidding, see you again in 5 years
i'd rather keep my head down and continuing earning 5K+ passive than deal with you groveling clowns who think you have it made because you have a youtube channel - every gen Zer has like 10 of those
read >>>> sidtheitclown33 -
If I was to talk about software, the act of coding is probably the most boring part. But birthing a program can pull from magic, animation, circus, gardening, parenting, woodwork, and a host of arts, trades, and crafts. It is a wonderful creative task that is being sold short by brilliant jerks, one trick fools, and con men.2
-
the more i think about the effort i've poured into various projects and products over the years, for clients or my own, and how little its payed overall... its quite depressing (people probably understimate, but i'm talking years upon years, not all at at time, but month spurts where i'd be done for the day at 7 PM or later) 12 hour days are easy to hit quickly when you are cranking out software
if you need an application requirement i've probably built it before, probably most of them twice
everyone tells me "it will pay off in the long run!" or "its great you have so much experience and built those different things!"
great to say, but i'm not getting payed for it / see no benefit from it
not fun to think about
and every place i go i know its gonna be filled with the workaday dev bros who are just there for the paycheck, have no passion, and who don't even know what TypeScript is (true story about that TypeScript one, i shit you not, occured only last year, and the guy is a frontend dev)
😩😩😩
where do i belong devrant?15 -
Up until a couple months ago we had 5 devops. Everything went smoothly af. We could get new environments provisioned in a couple of hours.
Now we have 18 of them. It's already day 3 and still noone has a clue why our env provision scripts are failing.
Well... At least I'm getting paid for sitting and waiting for them to finish this circus 😀1 -
I think we should call python programmers "Montyneers" am I right ?
#For people that don't know what I'm talking about: Python's name originates from Monty Python's flying circus.3 -
the year is 2050. yet another shitty 'note taking app' has be released by New Generic Shitty HypeBro Company™
still none have been profitable
🤡5 -
On sick leave, watching commercial news circus and being as laid back as I can. A bit of a panic going on, but after the news I'll go outside and ask employer for the rest of the week off.
Some pro tips for relaxation and mindfulness?7 -
Not a month goes by or manager changes roadmaps and directions... Feels like I am working at a circus really 🤡🤡🤡 so much clowning around3
-
Interview horror show: The time I got ghosted after the first interview.
I shit you not, I waited and waited for a reply, and since they didn't give any respect, I didn't show them any back and never sent a follow-up.
Yeah, fucking clowns, I hope your company burns to the ground with that level of professionalism.6 -
I would love to know how does people keep using GNOME 40+ when every single theme is unusable if it's not adwaita.
Fuckers couldn't even backport the new style to GTK-3. That “UI consistency” they brag about goes down the drain when you try to open any application that doesn't use GTK-4 yet.
An absolute circus that other desktops don't have to tolerate.2 -
I don't really care that the government is watching me scream at my TV during the Bachelorette finale. If they want to watch me get way too emotionally invested in a staged relationship circus, let them watch.2
-
Not really a rant, but a question for all of you devs stuck in a really bad company. And I mean 'stuck', as in certain situations that don't allow you to switch jobs at the moment and you have to put up with your job.
What do you tell yourself everyday to go work on something even when your manager doesn't care, your project hits a dead end, the company that you work for is a shit show of a fucking circus, and your career seems bleak from every angle? Have you guys ever had an existential crisis as a dev?4 -
Shoutout to C0D4 - you da real MVP!
Tried to subscribe to your rants, but it looks like that feature is suddently missing? Not sure, since I'm a 🤡4 -
Working with ring circus master project manager who don't know how to code (she is an non techy). By the way she is good at yelling. :(
-
The joys of being a multi-project, multi-language developer! You think you'll juggle a couple of balls, but suddenly you're in a full-blown circus act, with chainsaws, flaming torches, and a monkey on your back yelling "more features!"
In the morning, you're all TypeScript: "Yes, of course, types make everything more reliable!" By lunch, you're neck-deep in Python and realize types are a vague suggestion at best, leaving you guessing like some bug-squashing mystic. And then just when you’ve finally wrapped your head around that context switch, FastAPI starts demanding things that make you wonder, "Why can’t we all just get along and be JavaScript?"
Oh, and don’t even get me started on syntax. One minute it’s req.body this and express.json() that. The next, Python’s just there with a smug look, saying, "Indentation is my thing, deal with it!" And don’t look now, because meanwhile, Stripe’s trying to barge in with a million webhooks, payment statuses, and event types like “connect” and “payment,” each a subtle bomb to blow up your error logs.
Of course, every language has its "elegant" way of handling errors—which, translated, means fifty shades of “Why isn’t this working?” in different flavors! But hey, at least the machines can’t see us crying through the screen.11 -
Before he began dropping the 20K proposed to remodel my flat, I told my father I much preferred a contractor who was recommended by someone I knew, as opposed to using a big corporation like Home Depot. FAMOUS LAST... a neighbour in my building highly recommended the contractor we chose. And, week 7 [or is it 8?] of what was proposed to take no longer than two weeks has begun afresh!
On Friday the fellow who is the owner of the contract remodeling company was here touching the paint. He was here because I forbade the two painters he sent to do the initial painting job.
My internet cut out suddenly around 1300 Friday. He set to leave for the weekend shortly after that. I mentioned the outage to him. The essence of his reply was that there was no way it could have had anything to do with him. The following day, my internet provider sent a tech out to diagnose the problem. What was the problem? The head of the remodeling firm removed a face plate from the wall where there were telephone wires and disconnect them when he tore the wires as he replaced the face plate.
Although the tech told me he wasn't going to charge my account the $85.00 fee for his services because the outage was caused within my flat, I wish to be sure of this. Which brings us to the punchline.
My internet provider is a lame ass business model, dreamed up by a squint-eyed ex-circus monkey, never well endowed in the top story, and now just plain sad.
There were some 911 outages in Washington State last Thursday night. All during the day Friday when you dialled their freephone #. the recorded announcement, before saying anything else, told you they were experiencing heavier than usual call volumes, and my wait would be greater than `10 minutes. Fine. What fried my La Croix silk was that after their customer service dept closed for the weekend, that outgoing message remained.
Today, I wanted to contact my provider to see if they would know if the $ was going to be charged to my account. After pressing the 'send' key, my computer came back with an error message, saying they were having technical difficulties. So, I went on over to the 'chat' page. There's nothing to click on to take me to this enfabled location. So, can't reach them by phone unless I want to hear, every 30 seconds whether or not I wish to, how sorry they are for my delay.
A few years ago I would've used this as an excuse to have a technicolour meltdown. The reason I'm posting this is that I am now able to see beforehand what I'll be doing to myself getting upset over the circumstances. When I do reach somebody, I'm going to tell them as lightly as possible, that if they were an airline, I wouldn't board any of their aircraft. Ever.