- Wife logs onto uni website Saturday at 11pm to drop an elective, drop deadline is Monday
- Goes to course list and chooses course to drop
- "Course modification is available Monday-Saturday from 6am to 10pm"

😑 are you kidding me..

Like 😡😠 websites don't have business hours! Servers don't need nights or weekends off!! It's ridiculous to think that someone had to code this block for these hours, more effort than just leaving it always available.

Fuck me, big fucking security flaw with a UK internet service provider, my head has gone through my desk and hit the floor it’s that bad.

Erm, I think I’ve just fucked Google’s AI

So we got our first household Alexa yesterday and my brothers have been asking it silly things, like:

Brother: Alexa sing baby shark:
Alexa: <sings baby shark>

B: Alexa sing mummy shark
A: <sings mummy shark>

B: Alexa sing daddy shark
A: <sings daddy shark>

B: Alexa sing grandma shark
A: "I think that's enough, even I have my limits"

Fucking Brilliant!!!

What the fuck Apple, I thought selling a monitor stand separately at £999 was bad, £360 for putting fucking wheels on your Mac Pro, fuck me.

I had no fucking clue how to tag this, hence why it’s got 3 categories to it

I doubt it’s using more than 4GB of RAM

Just had Windows pop up with a notification saying “We’ve turned on storage sense for you”. Love it how the default is “When Windows Decides”. Was that why countless users lost their data back in October 2018???

I think I’ll turn that off permanently 😂😂😂

Saw this on Facebook and couldn't help but share here! 😂

A young woman submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke…
The query:

Dear Tech Support,

’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate,

“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’

Good Luck!

Just closed 460 tabs in safari on my iPhone 😂

I’ve had enough of shitty ISPs. Time to shame them 😈

Here in the UK, we have a company called TalkTalk who treat their customers as whores by not giving a shit and taking all their money.

I have had an ongoing issue for about 9 months now where our internet is more unstable, but also slower. We pay for 72Mbps at which we used to get, but now our internet tops out at 30Mbps if we are lucky. It can be 20Mbps one minute and 7Mbps the next, and I’ve had it drop below 1Mbps for no goddam reason.

I’ve spoken (well, argued) argued to their so called customer service department over phone and live chat explaining the situation and all they’ve done is said “restart your router”, or “we’ll send out a new router, it’s probably a WiFi issue”, or some bullshit like “I’ve ‘changed’ something on my end”. On one conversation with a so called technician, I had to explain how networking actually worded, and and even called a 7Mbps acceptable when we were paying for 10x that!!!!!

The thing that makes it worse is they actually have systems that detect any issues with customers internet lines, but they only alert the customer to the issue through an online portal, telling the customer to call up and get it dealt with rather than passing the info to a tech department and having issues fixed without the customer knowing unless it’s absolutely necessary.

So 9 months in and I still have a fluctuating, unstable internet connection which is slow and overpriced with no tunnel in sight. GIVE ME BACK MY GODDAMN MONEY YOU FUCKING THIEVING BASTARDS.

Yet another dev team testing in a production environment

I’ve only just been able to catch up with the UK news and the government missed ~16,000 cases of COVID-19 over a 7 day period due to a “technical glitch”.

The “technical glitch” was the government using an excel spreadsheet that reached the data limit.

Who the fuck thought that was a good idea long term, that’s why databases exist!!!!

How the fuck can a single web page take up 1GB RAM?!?! Optimise that shit please

Chrome VS Edge 🤔

What!!! No fucking way!!!

What developer/team thought that this would be a fucking brilliant option to put in this in a game?

Btw there is no VSync option, just “Limit to 30 FPS”

Finally worked up the nerve to quit my job. Time to move on to bigger and better things.

When creating auto incrementing integer keys on a MySQL database, please mark then as unsigned, you don’t need a negative primary key 😞😞😞

Freedom.

Nice try Microsoft, we all know that you envy a certain web browser

My work gave me three laptops because not one of them can access all the resources I need. So I have to balance my workflow around these three machines.

No wonder why Google Chrome takes up alot of RAM when running, I've just seen chromiums dev requirements:

System requirements

- A 64-bit Intel machine with at least 8GB of RAM. More than 16GB is highly recommended.

- At least 100GB of free disk space on an NTFS-formatted hard drive. FAT32 will not work, as some of the Git packfiles are larger than 4GB.

- An appropriate version of Visual Studio, as described below.
Windows 7 or newer.

Only just noticed that CSS has variables - when the fuck did this happen and where the hell was I when it did!!!!

Yay, thanks for the shitty error message PHP!!!

Today's Daily Dev Exercise: practice your patience waiting for clients to email you back.

2nd rant this week on PHP PDO

PHP 💩:
PHP message: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2014 Cannot execute queries while other unbuffered queries are active.  Consider using PDOStatement::fetchAll().  Alternatively, if your code is only ever going to run against mysql, you may enable query buffering by setting the PDO::MYSQL_ATTR_USE_BUFFERED_QUERY attribute

Me 🤬:
THATS WHAT I’M FUCKING USING. STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING. YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE FUCKING COLONS FOR YOUR FUCKING PARAMATETRS, NOW YOU HATE YOUR OWN FUCKING FETCHALL() METHOD YOU PEICE OF SHIT, AND YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY OTHER ACTIVE QUERIES AS IT’S THE FIRST FUCKING QUERY. ARRGHHH!!!!!

What the actual fuck is wrong with PDO. It bitches about everything 😡.

So our city’s bus service provider has decided to update the software for their “iPoints”, I think they haven’t thought this rollout through.

Just been told by someone that they think that Megabits (Mb) is the same as Megabytes (MB)... FUCK SAKE🤬🤬🤬😞😞😞

I want to put my head through my keyboard, through my desk, and through the 3 floors below me. I’m so god damn triggered right now

Why does Windows have to be so fucking useless when running docker. Everytime i need to make a change to the NGINX container, I have to restart the docker daemon, rather than rebuild and restart the container.

I would be doing this on Ubuntu, if I could install it that is.

Dear devRant, Why no markdown?

What dumb twat decided to commit a change with the message “FUCK”. And it not just one, it’s 10 or more in a fucking row!!!!!

Thanks, that’s really gonna help me understand what was changed 😡

RIP GPU

Over a year ago I posted a screenshot of chrome vs edge, and chrome had 92 processes consuming 2.1GB RAM vs edges 19 processes consuming 3.2GB RAM

Just seen this... WTF google, how can you need soooo much ram, I thought you had fixed your high memory issues!!!

So it’s 14:43 in the UK and this has happened. FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!!

It only...

Why does the css border-spacing have to be different in how it takes 2 values.

If you look at margin and padding properties when passing in 2 values, you pass in:

margin: (top/bottom)px (left/right)px;

However, when using border spacing:

border-spacing: (left/right)px (top/bottom)px;

I know I’m simplifying here, but it’s goddamn irritating how it’s takes in vertical and horizontal spacing the other way around. Who the hell thought that was a good idea

!dev... no coffee in the office 😭😭😭

Regex is fun 😃 NOT!!! 🤯😭

Looking for where a certain value is set I found that our project has a (undocumented) class FunctionsHandler which extends a (undocumented) PIHandler which extends an (undocumented) AbstractHandler which extends Object. All of them do random shit. Somebody, shoot me. Please.

Love it when you have a SQL query that takes 6.3 seconds (which includes processing time) to execute, and you managed to convert to a process that takes just 0.072 to complete

Just went to sign back into Amazon Prime Video... not sure I can trust it now 🤔

1. I have Animal Crossing

2. My internet can drop to 0.8Mbps

3. I have Animal Crossing

4. My internet can drop out 10 times a day

5. I have animal crossing

6. My office pc is my gaming rig

7. I have... I think you get the gist

In college doing A2’s, working solo. Building a companion app for Trivial Pursuit bet you know it edition. Laptop got hit by virus/malware, stopped me from copying files, lost 2/3’s of my project 3 days before submission.

Haha, I’ve just managed to break Google’s picture captcha by clicking false pictures.

I just stepped into windows “light” colour scheme for a minute. I am never doing that again

One of my commits today:
“Corrected a file path for view as it’s causing issues within the live environment”

What I actually wanted to put:
“Changed letter to uppercase in file path for view because live is being a fucking bitch about it”

Why do my Dev and Live environments have to differ 😞, I kept my cool though, which is a first for me 🙂

Did Cloudflare just suffer the biggest DDoS attack?

!rant
Successfully built and understood two d3.js visualizations today.
Feels good man

I think google is broken

- Hopefully build and publish an app
- Find a partner

Erm, instead of trying to guess my gender, just put “Dear <first name>” and leave it at that. It’s actually quite insulting

Does anyone use working copy on iOS? If so how do you find it?

I'm at a bit of a loose end here, I'll do my best to explain and I hope it all makes sense.

I'm trying to find a way to wrap a C++ Console App in a C# Class so I can use the C++ App as a library within the C# app rather than triggering the C++ exe and providing a command to it.

The reason why I wish to do it this way is for maintainability, so I can make changes to the C++ app without affecting the C# App.

I've been looking at tutorials and stack overflow to see if's its possible, but for someone with learning difficulties, I'm struggling to find the right path to take as I'm seeing conflicting info.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, Thanks in advance

Can anyone recommend a cheap mini-pc / NUC, I only want to run Ubuntu on it.

4 hours sleep is not good for the brain. I’ve forgotten how to code.

I’ve just fired up Ubuntu for the first time in a couple of years on a laptop while doing some data recovery. I use windows and Mac in a daily basis.

I’m tempted to switch, I forgot how much I missed Ubuntu

Why does the Fat Free Frameworks (F3) $db->exec() method have its array count from 1 and not 0.

Instead of doing:
[$param1, $param2]

You have to do:
[ 1=> $param1, 2=> $param2]

WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA?

This is something that PHP PDO gets right, AND I FUCKING HATE PDO!!!

Fucking hell... If I knew that PHPStorm could display the same file over 2 screens/windows, I’d have used it sooner. 😡

It is a godsend though 🙂

Looking at learning C++, anyone got any useful tips, best practices & trusted sources?

Can anyone suggest a good TS based stack to use with electron? I'm (hopefully) looking to make an open source app

!rant
I'm a full stack web dev (LAMP, MEVN), not a sys admin. Besides complete control of my os, are there any benefits to a Linux-based os like arch or ubuntu? I've played around and set up both in VMs, but I'm struggling to find a benefit that justifies the setup commitment.

Can this week be over now(), it's been an absolute nightmare in terms of development. I just want to sleep.

Google's "Mobile Friendly Test Tool" is shit.

It does its automated test's during it's index and points out that there are various issues with the page and IT IS NOT mobile friendly.

So I go and test the page in the Mobile test tool to see what other error's it's reporting and it comes back and says "This page IS mobile friendly".

Like WTF Google, make up your fucking goddamn mind and stop pissing me about.

I’ve been programming with night mode on without realising, I can’t go back now 😂

Why is PHP PDO such a b*tch to work with?

One minute it says it’ll accept one query via one method for one insert but then deny the next query you give it, all because of “:” within bindParam()

Microsoft Edge might just become my main browser 🤔

So we are testing slack as our new messaging platform, it states that the platform has 10k searchable messages, does that mean that you can send unlimited messages with 10k searchable, or 10k messages total before you have to start paying?

Does anyone use OVH Public Cloud?

Why do tech writers always produce deliverable documents in Word files instead of Markdown, LaTeX, or anything that is easy to CM? It would be easier to track revision history and dump out of the CI/CD pipeline to the customer.

There is nothing worse than trying to program while having RSI, it’s either you have your wrist support on and type slowly and hit multiple keys, or you have it off, type slowly and live with the pain

It’s that time of year again... hope Marzipan is ready for public use 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Had a debate with a colleague today over git commits, I had 24 outstanding and he had 15. We came up with a little game...

Who can create the most changes for a single commit. The winner is the one who can remember what each change was without looking at the changes.

Needlessly to say, we both lost 😂

So apparently in MySQL, 0 doesn’t always equal 0, sometimes it can be 1, or 2, or 3...

what the actual fuck?!?!

A project where there was no templating at all and every page was independent of each other, it was that bad I started from scratch.

Why is the prettus repository package shit at handling mass inserts. The documentation says:

$this->repository->create(Input::all())

WTF does that even mean.

Why windows, surely running Linux would have been cheaper?

Sat on a bus heading home next to some guy who clearly hasn’t got knowledge of how to use a pair of fucking headphones and it sat playing a fucking game with the volume on loud, and all I can hear is the same fucking “whoosh, ping” noise fucking over and over again or he’s watching those shitty videos on Facebook

IT’S DOING MY FUCKING HEAD IN!!!!!! GET A PAIR FUCKING HEADPHONES OR MUTE YOUR FUCKING PHONE!!!!! NO-ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT SHIT!!!!!

Trying to find a function I swear I had created to retrieve a set of counts from a database. Couldn’t find it. What I could find is the comment I had written with the function being completely overwritten with something entirely different.

I’m a complete fucking idiot and thank fuck for version control.

So as part of my news years resolution, I thought id build an app and I thought I would build it in vue.js and native script with a shared codebase, I've started with a fresh project and already I have an error, one that I've not caused, this is in router.js. see if you can spot it.

module.exports = (api, options) => {
require('@vue/cli-plugin-router/generator')(api, {
historyMode: options.routerHistoryMode
};
export default new Router(options);
}

When I've fixed the syntax error, I then get, the error:

/src/router.js: 'import' and 'export' may only appear at the top level (5:0)

This is when I run "npm run serve:ios"

if anyone has encountered this, please let me know how you fixed this.

That felling when you have 16 unstaged files 😨

Sometimes, just sometimes, I need to stop programming until nearly 10pm. It cannot be healthy for the body.

Why can’t Windows search handle simple maths, Spotlight on macOS can.

Erm... I thought google was smart

Can any one recommend a good Go framework for APIs with a MongoDB ORM?

Was using Laravel 6/Lumen but it’s API ability is starting to piss me off with its CSRF crap, JWT/Passport implementation and a it’s lack of MongoDB support.

I don’t need any templating engines at all, its all handled by a SPA and Mobile Apps

I want to build a "report-error" function into the app to make errors in production easier to track and debug. But i am unsure, what it should do actually.
Create a GitHub Issue? Then every Hoster needs a specific GitHub account and repo for that.
Send an Email? Then connectivity-related issues are not sendable. Send an Email with the frontend? Brr. Any Tips?

!rant

Rational ClearCase.

The ability to generate to generate all of my data transfer objects/, data persistence objects/entity, and unit tests for those.

I love having solid data models before I begin to work with behavioral models but it's a lot of manual work.

So working from home due to UK Gov lockdown. iTunes on, and the perfect power anthem comes on... Productivity up 110%

Does anyone know the best local stack to use while building applications for AWS

Dunno yet, only just started. Too much background interference