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If I have headphones in
and I'm intentionally away from everyone
and it looks like I'm working
and you want to talk to me
Here's some advice:
DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME.
If you're curious why, I've compiled a list of points:
1) DON'T
2) FUCKING
3) TALK
4) TO
5) ME
Also, see Fig. 1 below:
(Fig. 1)
| DONT
| FUCKING
|
| TALK
| TO
|
| ME
---------------------------------------
Don't fucking talk to me!26 -
Customers who start to talk to me over the phone like I'm a little boy can seriously go fuck themselves.
You expect me to talk to you respectfully, then do the fucking same.
Fucking cunts.35 -
terms can only be use in programming: -
Where friends have access to your private parts,
Where Parents may kill their child if required,
Where Bugs come in from open windows,
Where one image is worth 128K words,
Where 10 == 2,
Where Zombies are common and not dangerous *,
Where Daemons are always there somewhere
Where the slimmest of USB drives are considered FAT *,
Where comments are made and arguments are passed, **
Where forever alone nerds can also unzip, touch, mount and fsck ***,
Where root is top of the tree,
Where x = x + y is totally correct,
Where opening a jar requires Java,
Where Oct 31 = Dec 25,
Thanks to ASHISH KEDIA for writing these.
Source :- Quora4 -
I wonder when people will realize we wear headphones because we don't want to talk to them.
Having headphones on sure doesn't stop some asshat from trying to talk to me
9 -
"Is it sexy when I talk in nerd words? Ie 11....backwards compatibility....fallback..."
My fiancé.10 -
How to talk as a dev to a dev:
1.) Talk normally
2.) Start shouting
3.) Slow down but say it more aggressively
4.) Realise you made a mistake and/or misunderstood something
5.) Explain why it's not your fault
6.) Explain why it's someone elses fault
7.) Repeat2 -
Sometimes I wish my girlfriend was able to write code so we could talk and share our code and thoughts.
Sometimes I thank God she finds it the most boring thing on Earth and we get to talk about other things and decompress.13 -
Sex talk between programmers.
She: I'm a virgin.
He: Don't worry. They call me the virginslayer007.
She: Oh! So how many virgins have you slayed till now?
He: That would be ONE in a few minutes.
She: So u r also a virgin then..
He: Don't worry. I watched so many video tutorials. We just have to do exactly as they did. Best thing is that it can be done both for testing and production purposes.
She: Let's stick to testing purposes for now.6 -
My boss says "cocker" once (referring to docker) a teammate and I make a meme of that, allways we have to talk about docker we say "dicker" or when we have to talk about git we say "dick" like "dick commit, dick pull, dick push".12
-
> Last year of study
> I see a new face
> Maybe new friend?
> He asked me what am I doing in live
> Front-end my friend :)
> So you are not real programmer :O
> Wtf with these people
> Should I kill him?8 -
I realized it that the only time I talk confidently with a girl is when I am solving some technical problem or helping her understand some computer theory.
Pre and Post - this phase, I can hardly find any topic to talk and later they are also done talking to me.
Should I consider to search on how to talk to girls??
Google already suggests that even in incognito mode.
Is there someone else with me in the same boat?
34 -
SCRUMS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 15 MINUTES, NOT FUCKING 1.5 HOURS
People who like hearing themselves talk shouldn't be in charge of meetings. We can't get the work done if you keep having meetings to talk about us getting the work done.6 -
A company gave a placement talk in college today.
First, they talked about their company's facts and figures, which no one was interested in.
Second, they talked about Amazon and Jeff's vision, AirBnB and their revolutionary idea, more than their own company and products.
Third, they showed some testimonial videos of their employees and customers.
"What the fuck is going on?" I thought. We were there to get information about a placement test.
Buzzwords started coming in. Machine Learning, Artificial Intelligence, Big Data and what not.
Last 15 minutes, a guy came. He talked about test date, test format and test topics, finally.
An hour and half wasted for 15 minutes of information.
Fuck placement talks.35 -
I think I misled Google because it just serves me German ads the last three weeks while I am Dutch.
I am not using a VPN.
I listen German music and watch some tutorials in German.
I rarely talk Dutch online and I talk quite a lot with Germans.6 -
Let’s be real here for a second.
All I really want in my life is this virtual doggo!
A real virtual good boy!
11 -
Coming back to the office after being down with sickness for 3 days. Apparently the two other People on the project doesn't talk together, only when im the middle man making sure they talk, and we got a big test on Monday.....
2 -
Choose one language that will stay and be used universally by every coder, and the others will vanish
I choose Python, what about you?45 -
Don't talk to me I'm a programmer!
First, I'll kill you
make you leave all your children
Then I'll chop off your HEAD
now you're a zombie
I'll thread all your limbs back together
you can never REST
because I'm a master of all slaves
this is a test
And if I'm finally done with you
I'll leave you for garbage collection
Hello World!
Don't talk to me2 -
Stop ending rants with "Welcome to my TED talk."
All it does is make me want to stick my fist in your ass.
Welcome to my TED talk.8 -
This is one of my favorite lines of documentation 😁
Found in the description of flags for SVN commands: http://svnbook.red-bean.com/en/1.7/...
-
My boyfriend and I just got home from a seminar and had a nice teachings and talks. As the speaker ended the talk, she asked each participants as to what is our ultimate goal.
G1: to be an able lawyer
B1: civil engineer!
B2: to pass the licensure examination
BF (God's Gift): businessman
Me (mind): Gray hat
Me (...): to have a start-up tech company
Since college, I really wanted to have a start-up company in due time. ^_^1 -
Not exactly a dev related rant.
Do you ever get the feeling when you're not working, like today, that you're kinda wasting time (can't find a better way to describe)? I usually work on Sunday at home, running behind insane deadlines, trying to anticipate tasks. Today was different, I woke up to a fresh VS 2017 install, updated my .net core api to 2.0, learnt how to deploy to Azure, made a CI/CD pipeline and then spend some fun time with my 5 month baby. Argued with him when Azure didn't let me make a new subscription. Sat on the sidewalk with him doing absolutely nothing for a solid half hour, only looking the way he admired everything around him and stuff. Took the trash out, did the dishes, helped with the laundry. But yet I feel like tomorrow gonna be a rough day, where everything will blow up 'cause I didn't did anything work related.
I'm starting to think I lost the taste of enjoying myself, enjoying the people around me, my family, parents, friends. I've been spending too much time on autopilot. Wake up, smoke, work, eat, work, smoke, sleep. Repeat.
I do enjoy my job, a little less when it's not dev related, but I do anyway. We are a small company with big contracts and tight deadlines. Always struggling to give our best and advance further, but I can see I'm loosing something while giving 120% of attention to my job.
Anyway, just wanted to get this thing out of my chest. Thank you if you read this far.7 -
Not sure why I still call my smartphone a phone at all. I rarely talk on it. It's a microcomputer with a phone app. I'm really surprised my toddler even knows to put it up to his head and pretend talk.3
-
FFUUUuucccckkk me sideways. So I decided to look into USB type-c's power delivery and alt modes. Cause I kinda want to make an adapter card to run my displays over a single cable. TLDR of the rest: USB-C has some huge capabilities which noone is interested in using since its way to complex to handle for what its worth in the end.
Now PD alone is kinda ok to deal with since a lot of powerbanks use it and some hobby guys documented how to work with it. I find it really odd thou that you NEED to use a dedicated IC for using the configuration chanel to negotiate how much power you can draw. Why the USB standard didnt use some simple 5V low speed signalling? Also the standard says that you only have to implement 5v 0.6A with every other power level being optional. (This is also true for cables. Most manufacturers use only the USB 2.0 standard for them and brag about how fast type-C is. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ) )
Now to the alt modes. These motherfuckers are a real shitshow to deal with. First you need a Mux to deal with USB-C's two way insertion, so your signals wont get flipped. Next thing is that you have four lanes at your disposal in alt mode. Which you can either use for four Display Port Lanes or two DP lanes and two USB 3.0 lanes. (You always get USB 2.0) Now you may think that there would be one simple chip to do it all? Nope you need atleast two at the price of 6$ each. One for PD and one for Alt modes. Both are very hard to solder (QFN, 0.5 mm pitch 40+ pins) TI ended up being the only one with a decent offering of IC's that do what I need. As for working with them, you would think that you just slap a simple MCU on there that communicates over I2C or SPI to configure the chips? Nope! You program the chips memory from which it configures itsself. And the programming is done with some TI tool which gives me no idea as to how you can handle everything whith no control logic behind it.
Looking into alternative IC's leaves me with cypress semi. And their documentation is basically a total mess. I wanna know what that chip is good for and what I need to do to make it work. I dont care about technical details mixed with marketing jargon nobody understands. And I really despise that I have to register just to download a datasheet. Especially since there is no info about it on the main page.
And this whole rant hasnt even touched the topic that USB-C only uses DP and nothing else. So you better hope that you have DP++ so you can use a passive conversion.
This was my Ted Talk about USB-C. Some info in it may be subject to my stupidity and errors as it currently is 02:15 in the morning and I need some sleep.14 -
Employer msged me around 11pm
She wants to talk n finalize on which assignment I will work on
And what's the best time to talk
I told her in morning if she have no issues with that
She replied ok
But haven't called
My friends told me she is offended
Wth
Seriously need your input guys
Have I done something wrong?
Is it necessary to talk right away ?7 -
We worked with that freelancer some time ago. Most talented coder I've ever known. Coding for only 3 years, and only 1 technology, but technical thinking already up to par with my own 15+ years of experience. Very rude but to the point. We loved it - "one of us". We hired that asshole for different remote projects over 20 times in 3 years. We send spec, answer questions, collaborate on chat, review work on svn, add tickets, get solutions. After about a year working like that we had minor issue with finance that revealed our prized freelancer is a chick.
Changed nothing.4 -
!rant. Encouragement for those feeing impostor syndrome like I am right now with a new employer. Source +
Bonus Panel: goo.gl/mhOvDs
-
How many "normal" people (we as programmers are special) languages do you speak/understand?
I know English, Italian, some French & Spanish and some Slavic language like Macedonia, Serbian, Croatian and Slovenian. What about you?30 -
That moment when your developer friends talk about some new programming language and all you can do is just nod your head because you don't have a clue.
PS. They will definitely read this rant and know the next time, I just nod my head :D1 -
I feel we can do nearly everything when we learn C# and JS.
How do ya think?
I am not saying that Brainfuck is not useful. I love that language btw.15 -
Hey can I talk to whoever made these constructors at the .net foundation/microsoft?
I'd like to... talk
14 -
I’ve had enough of shitty ISPs. Time to shame them 😈
Here in the UK, we have a company called TalkTalk who treat their customers as whores by not giving a shit and taking all their money.
I have had an ongoing issue for about 9 months now where our internet is more unstable, but also slower. We pay for 72Mbps at which we used to get, but now our internet tops out at 30Mbps if we are lucky. It can be 20Mbps one minute and 7Mbps the next, and I’ve had it drop below 1Mbps for no goddam reason.
I’ve spoken (well, argued) argued to their so called customer service department over phone and live chat explaining the situation and all they’ve done is said “restart your router”, or “we’ll send out a new router, it’s probably a WiFi issue”, or some bullshit like “I’ve ‘changed’ something on my end”. On one conversation with a so called technician, I had to explain how networking actually worded, and and even called a 7Mbps acceptable when we were paying for 10x that!!!!!
The thing that makes it worse is they actually have systems that detect any issues with customers internet lines, but they only alert the customer to the issue through an online portal, telling the customer to call up and get it dealt with rather than passing the info to a tech department and having issues fixed without the customer knowing unless it’s absolutely necessary.
So 9 months in and I still have a fluctuating, unstable internet connection which is slow and overpriced with no tunnel in sight. GIVE ME BACK MY GODDAMN MONEY YOU FUCKING THIEVING BASTARDS.3 -
Me: *joins devRant once again*
"Wow this community is surely active! Better check frequently to keep up!"
*checks two times in 6 hours*
"Yea it was weekend. Probs everyone is getting their hands in a dirty pile of compileable code or a spaghetti of jQuery."
So, how is your day/night so far?25 -
I wish I had programming friends I could talk to. I have no one I can really talk about all this with33
-
I don't want to trash-talk anyone's favorite programming language - after all, I get quite pissed if anyone rants about my favorite language, too! I'm not saying that VB .NET is a bad language. It really has its strengths, even more so for beginner devs. But is this guy serious?
https://red-gate.com/simple-talk/...
I don't even particularly care for C# - mostly because I don't like Pascal Case and it's a Microsoft Original and I don't want MY source code spying on ME... But still... every single one of the points that guy tries to make is either IDE-specific, not a big deal or even an advantage in my opinion!
What bothers me the most, however, is the way he subtly tries to force his own opinion upon his readers. "It doesn’t matter if you disagree with everything else in this article: case-sensitivity alone is sufficient reason to ditch C#!" - quote end!
Real sneaky fella.11 -
Dealing with stubborn devs who don't understand why non prod apps shouldn't talk to production apps.2
-
I had a team lead once that would come into my office multiple times a day to sit and talk. Not about work. Not even about development. Just to talk.3
-
Fuck, I'll always be a noob. Knowing next to nothing about software development, hacking, exploits - just anything.
Felt a bit proud to had reached the level "hacker" on hack the box. Was fun solving stego, crypto and reversing challenges, diving into assembly the first time. Felt cool stepping through a disassemblied executable with radare, and understanding what a NOP slide is...
However all the illusion crumbled down, when I watched this CCC talk on OpenBSD security, where the speaker was underwhelmed with one of OpenBSD mitigations, where they tried to disallow them: "NOP slides?! Srly? No one is using that anymore. Just look at current exploits."
I felt so stupid, which I probably am. Will never catch up with those guys.
But whatever. In the end we all know nothing. We have no clue, but some are more apt in disguising it behind big speech.
(really like this German song: https://youtube.com/watch/...
Those lines always give me a chuckle:
"Man has no idea.
The house has no idea.
The tree has no idea.
The fawn has no idea.
The squid has no idea.
The tapir knows, but doesn't tell us.")3 -
!rant
Remember that one day someone says "lets make a game about a fat italian guy that save the princess from the evil big monkey by jumping some barrels and a hammer".
Do not be afraid of your own ideas, you always miss the shots that you don't take.
1 -
Some minutes ago our firewall in office overheated, no internet, no network, no real way to work some time for coffee and nerd talk - not bad at all1
-
So there was this regional hackathon in which the company I work for is a major sponsor. It happened that the company had an empty slot at the talk panel and until yesterday there was no one to pick it up. I ended up taking it on with a couple of coworkers. The talk just finished and I have never felt so ashamed. The talk was cringe-worthy to the point I felt the shivering skin of the audience. Man... never taking a bullet for anyone ever again!3
-
I find myself always accidentally saying "string" when I mean to talk about words and "array" when I mean to talk about a list.
-
When co-developers talk to non techies with tech talk expecting them to understand. Like, where's that going to get you? An essential skill for a developer is to be able to translate tech talk to help people understand fully!!1
-
I applied for two technical talks in a popular conference summit, the two talks were turned down and the reason was that they are much more technical talks than mine. I switched to watch the live stream today and all i see is a bunch of stupid talks (they decided to pick a talk on git aliases over working with change streams and multi document transactions in mongodb). A friend of mine just told me, your talk won't be accepted if you don't know any of the organizers3
-
Whoo!
Gave a talk at another local dev meetup yesterday; my 2nd talk so far. Was surprised at the generally positive reception.
The presentation was on a piece of software I used recently. Initially wasn't sure about how to predict the reception as I wasn't sure what to focus on. So just thought I'd give an intro, on it and highlight some of the features I liked about it.2 -
*1 hr after meeting*
*boss calls*
Boss: how are you doing with the task we talked about on the meeting?
Me: Oh I'm doing that other thing we talked about. I'll finish both in about an hour.
Boss: great!
... then starts going on about their lives. I wanted to be nice to them, so I paid attention to what's going on in their lives while I program menial tasks.
*1 hour later*
Boss: so have you finished? It's been an hour.
I would've finished, IF YOU HADN'T BEEN DISTRACTING ME THE WHOLE TIME8 -
Do you guys often talk out loud when coding/debugging ? I find myself doing that and it has actually helped me find mistake or understand things8
-
I hate extremist to the point where I became an extremist of hating the extremist.
If life is as simple as 1 and 0, we won't even be fucking evolved and alive till this far.
Every story has different perspectives. Different motives. Is it Kingslayer the one to blame? Is it the Queen's fault? Or was it Little Finger?
We look at one piece of the puzzle and we talk and talk and talk. Well not only do we like to talk our own thoughts out loud, we like to persuade others to join our thoughts. Just like what I'm doing now.
Does this all sound simple as 1 and 0?5 -
If your customer service is so bad that people talk about trying to use the occult to get in touch with you, your company is shit.
Dev related cause I only want to talk to the customer service because the api docs are that fucking bad. -
A lot of people talk to a rubber duck or to themselves to solve problems while I talk to myself because I am insane3
-
Quality != more work + less talk
Quality = more talk resulting in less work.
That makes no sense mathematically.
“Let’s talk more about shit before we create shit”.
That’s a little better.
“Let’s talk more so we don’t create shit”.
Getting closer.
“Let’s talk more about what is needed till we all know what is best before we program a damn machine?”
...This is going nowhere fast.
Okay fuck it. Let’s just code some stuff. It’s more enjoyable.7 -
Most fun i had was reverse engineering lg tone & talk where my headset would vibrate and talk to me on deployments or when something happened
-
The Angular ng-WAT talk: https://youtu.be/M_Wp-2XA9ZU
Most hilarious dev talk I have ever watched! This guy shows the common frustration of reading confusing API docs with even more confusing terminology. Hahaa!
"You have a factory, which is a service and you have a service which is a service. Both have Providers.. and when you write a Factory.. as your service.. you actually write a Provider.. which returns a Factory.. which is basically.. a Service!". WAT3 -
When you have so much work
To do, but can't start any of it until you have the meetings about it. Meetings meetings meetings.2 -
Sr. Management gives talk about leadership. What he/she doesn't understand is that leadership is like Fight Club.
The first rule of leadership is that you do not talk about leadership.
The second rule of leadership is that you DO NOT talk about leadership!5 -
AAAAAAAA I want to talk with my friends about programming and software, but there is only one friend who understands even a BIT (Rest he doesn't just care about probably). It's driving me crazy that i can't talk with any of my friends about programming, because they don't know shit about it. I really can't make new friends either because i somehow have forgotten how to talk to humans (i'm extremely introverted lol). It's paiful when you have to explain a programming meme.8
-
Doing a talk on 'Security in PHP' and live demo on web attacks and safeguard tips this Saturday. Any tips fellow Ranters...?13
-
Hating small talk is what most tech guys would do. What's the point in indulging in it when you can not talk?
But there are times when you're cornered and can't do much about it. I figured out a way in which i can use this, still.
So whenever pushed into small talk i tend to tilt the conversation in the direction of the current problem I'm working on. I would then use the other guy as a sounding board to talk out the problem aloud. Helps me in clarifying my own thought. Also if i haven't already bored the other guy to death and the guy seems genuinely interested, i get a few pointers too.1 -
sometimes i have to remind myself "dude, the docs explain that shit well! why the hell are you wasting time on crappy resources??"
-
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
Michael is learning about stylesheets from Hubspot. HO LEEE SHEEEIT
Joe Makarski [7:43 AM]
dood. those hubspot stylehseets are soooo insane
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
I know! LOL
[7:43]
Better him than me
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
it's like Dreamweaver and Adobe's other web app eat each other
[7:44]
ate*
Lee Quessenberry [7:44 AM]
and after they get done eating each other they go to the sperm bank and get knocked up by microsoft frontpage.
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
seriously.
Lee Quessenberry [7:45 AM]
WTF -
The first rule of devRant is;
we DO NOT talk about devRant.
The second rule of devRant is;
WE DO NOT TALK about devRant!2 -
Today, I read the mother of all instant messaging client statuses. And I am a fan of this person. It goes like...
"When writing a note, please proceed straight to the question, without asking 'do you have a minute', 'are you busy', etc. I always try to multi-task. If I am busy with higher priority tasks or the issue is complex, the reply can be delayed."1 -
I don't talk about Dev stuff with my friends/family. I try keep keep it to myself. They either get really angry, confused or they try to talk about things they know nothing about.1
-
You know you won't get much sleep tonight when you close the defcon talk you started when going to the toilet to continue the black hat talk on your PC.
-
Was at an Angular talk at the Microsoft Center in Munich. The talkers bashed MS way to much. Even for a Linux lover like me.
I wanted to her something about Angular and not how much you hate MS!!!!7 -
A very good talk about php from the creator of php. I like it how he self never thought that php will grow that big. He always thought that php has 6 months left before a better Technologie comes that replace php completle.
https://youtu.be/wCZ5TJCBWMg3 -
When I need to talk to another office in my company about how one of their codebases works the weirdest thing happens. I end up on a call after local business hours with people who don't write code and thus cannot help me.
I show them the error I'm getting trying to run their shit and I get a high level buzzword filled spiel about the project that makes no actual sense. They use these technical words like federated and dynamic but they don't make sense in the contexts they're using them. And they don't answer my goddamn questions.
It turned out their debug config file was gitignored. -
Discord server under development for software engineering, cyber security, networking, and IT talk in general. Looking to meet new people and talk :). @ me if you're interested in testing it.4
-
Talk to someone about your problem. If no one is there, talk to a rubber duckie. Know that it's fine to be stuck and sometimes the best thing to do is go for a walk to clear your head!
-
new manager new problems: every 1:1 I listen for him to talk about his political defeats all the time and he wouldn't make time for me to talk
-
Did you get any seniors like these... we need to do that and that but tomorrow I won't remember and do as I told. 🫠 He won't wake up until any production bug arises.
-
☀️ HI 👋 FELLOW 🙌 DEVS 😇
I was just wondering if anyone happens to know the guy who's kinda famous in the dev world who does the presentation on next-level/out of the box programming where one of the examples is a mario like game, and he basically simulates all the gravity and jump options and has a ghost appear behind the character so that he can place the platform the most effectively.. etc..
I saw it ages ago but I can't find it anymore!!!!! Don't think it was a ted talk but maybe.
Btw, Raycast is fucking incredible, especially the emoji extension + hyperkey!!!! 🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯🥳💯4 -
Like collabs, we should have a new section for only technical discussions about anything like common practices, is there a better way to do this, how's the new tech, general discussions about a library or language etc.
I'm not much interested in the jokes and that's all I see in my feed. Not that I hate that aspect but I prefer more of the tech talk.
Who's with me?5 -
can’t someone just take jupyterhub and nbgrader, polish them the fuck up and host them somewhere and make it available for people to use without having to go through hell just to set it up somewhere! jeez.2
-
Today i present GraphQL to my colleagues.
Tell me your experiences with "querying your REST endpoints!2 -
when i work, i code. whe i sleep, i code. When i talk to friends, i talk about code. I figured out that its going to be a hell of a code review when I'm gone.1
-
If you don't know it yet, there is an awesome youtube channel full of talks about web developement. It's name is Coding Tech, just saying.
-
sorry for not ranting but im quite anxiously looking for a talk about Domain Driven Design. I think it was from Eric Evans but the ones I found yet arent it. he has a very speqking example of shipping which he usus throughout his talk, speaking in front of quite a big crowd, interacting with the crowd and no desk or anything in front..... Is there anyone who knows which talk I mean? Infinite kudo's to he who does!1
-
Haskell would say from its heart:
People who don’t talk about me, don’t know me.
People who talk a lot about me a lot, don’t know me as well.1 -
It's quite fun when you have slides from your talk which answer the customer's question about the technical solution used in the project:)
-
Does anyone actually talk to his or her rubber duck at work?
I tend to use colleagues as rubber ducks. Aren't non-dev colleagues weirded out when they see you talk to an actual rubber duck?5 -
Do you have meetings that your team have to bring technical subjects to talk about? We have it here, but it doesn't seem people like it, and it's difficult to find someone willing to talk. I wondered why the leads or managers insist on having these kinds of meetings.4
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