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Search - "ms access"
Worst legacy experience...
Called in by a client who had had a pen test on their website and it showed up many, many security holes. I was tasked with coming in and implementing the required fixes.
Site turned out to be Classic ASP built on an MS Access database. Due to the nature of the client, everything had to be done on their premises (kind of ironic but there you go). So I'm on-site trying to get access to code and server. My contact was *never* at her desk to approve anything. IT staff "worked" 11am to 3pm on a long day. The code itself was shite beyond belief.
The site was full of forms with no input validation, origin validation and no SQL injection checks. Sensitive data stored in plain text in cookies. Technical errors displayed on certain pages revealing site structure and even DB table names. Server configured to allow directory listing in file stores so that the public could see/access whatever they liked without any permission or authentication checks. I swear this was written by the child of some staff member. No company would have had the balls to charge for this.
Took me about 8 weeks to make and deploy the changes to client's satisfaction. Could have done it in 2 with some support from the actual people I was suppose to be helping!! But it was their money (well, my money as they were government funded!).1
I HATE working with MS Office products. Yes, Access, I'm looking at you, you backwards, whanabe database reject! You're invalid as a serious SQL database and retarded as an data application suite.
VBA, make up your MIND with your damn function calls! Either require me to use parenthesis or don't! I'm sick of this conditional parenthesis sh*t!
While we're talking about not making up your mind... screw 'sub', you half wit language! Either use functions like a real language or go the f&$k home and make room for a language that knows what it's doing!
Oh!!! WHY... WHY! do you have null AND... NOTHING?! Who... Who... WHO invented "nothing"?! And what sick joke are you playing at with isnull() and empty()??? How many damn ways so you need to test for "no value"?!?!
Access... That's right, I'm not done with you yet... How is it you've survived this damn long in the business world with all of the databases you corrupt? Sure, you suck as a real database, but at least have some freaking pride that people even USE you! How DARE your corrupt yourself with the regularity you seem to have! I wish my bowel movements were as regular as your database corruptions, for the love of humanity.
F$@k you, VBA! F@&k you, Access! F$#k you, MS Office! And Fuuuuuu$k YOU Microsoft for shoving these half assed reject tools down my throat!
I hope your cloud uses Access as a back end and gets some injection virus.
*Takes deep breath* need to say that.10
It were around 1997~1998, I was on middle school. It was a technical course, so we had programing languages classes, IT etc.
The IT guy of our computer lab had been replaced and the new one had blocked completely the access on the computers. We had to make everything on floppy disks, because he didn't trusted us to use the local hard disk. Our class asked him to remove some of the restrictions, but he just ignored us. Nobody liked that guy. Not us, not the teachers, not the trainees at the lab.
Someday a friend and me arrived a little bit early at the school. We gone to the lab and another friend that was a trainee on the lab (that is registered here, on DevRant) allowed us to come inside. We had already memorized all the commands. We crawled in the dark lab to the server. Put a ms dos 5.3 boot disk with a program to open ntfs partitions and without turn on the computer monitor, we booted the server.
At that time, Windows stored all passwords in an encrypted file. We knew the exact path and copied the file into the floppy disk.
To avoid any problems with the floppy disk, we asked the director of the school to get out just to get a homework we theorically forgot at our friends house that was on the same block at school. We were not lying at all. He really lived there and he had the best computer of us.
The decrypt program stayed running for one week until it finds the password we did want: the root.
We came back to the lab at the class. Logged in with the root account. We just created another account with a generic name but the same privileges as root. First, we looked for any hidden backup at network and deleted. Second, we were lucky: all the computers of the school were on the same network. If you were the admin, you could connect anywhere. So we connected to a "finance" computer that was really the finances and we could get lists of all the students with debits, who had any discount etc. We copied it to us case we were discovered and had to use anything to bargain.
Now the fun part: we removed the privileges of all accounts that were higher than the trainee accounts. They had no access to hard disks anymore. They had just the students privileges now.
After that, we changed the root password. Neither we knew it. And last, but not least, we changed the students login, giving them trainee privileges.
We just deleted our account with root powers, logged in as student and pretended everything was normal.
End of class, we went home. Next day, the lab was closed. The entire school (that was school, mid school and college at the same place) was frozen. Classes were normal, but nothing more worked. Library, finances, labs, nothing. They had no access anymore.
We celebrated it as it were new years eve. One of our teachers came to us saying congratulations, as he knew it had been us. We answered with a "I don't know what are you talking about". He laughed and gone to his class.
We really have fun remembering this "adventure". :)
PS: the admin formatted all the servers to fix the mess. They had plenty of servers.4
I am a tester by profession, But I love coding. Sadly my organisation doesn't allow people of my profile to install IDE/ Programming softwares... So I had to work with what I had... VBA, MS Office...
I started to work on few small Ideas, then I and a friend worked on a macro which automates a 5 year old manual process... It became a Hit ! It changed the whole process... My manager started to highlight it everywhere... Other manager started to come to us for helps....
So I learnt MS Excel Vba, then MS Access vba... started to become an expert...
Now the whole onshore and offshore management knows us by name....
Now I made a virtual bot for my manager....
That small project paved the whole way of my programming passion...5
The other day, one of my cousin purchased a POS software for his bakery. He wanted me to look at it. Being curious, I did and found out that software was a decade old using MS Access as DB. He wanted couple of changes in the system and I did those in few mins.
Once I was done, he kept starring me like he never believed I could do that.
Moral: Your relatives never consider you a good programmer :-/7
Teacher: From today on, we will start working with ms access 😊.
Me: Please die and let my life in peace ☹️ and learn with something useful (MySQL) instead.7
So one rant reminded me of a situation I whent through like 10 years ago...
I'm not a dev but I do small programs from time to time...
One time I was hired to pass a phone book list from paper to a ms Access 97 database...
On my old laptop I could only add 3 to 5 records cause MS access doesn't clean after itself and would crash...
So I made an app (in vb6) , to easily make records, was fast, light and well tabbed.
But now I needed a form to edit the last record when I made a mistake...
Then I wanted a form to check all the records I made.
Well that gave me an idea and presented the software to the client... A cheesy price was agreed for my first freelance sell...
After a month making it perfect and knowing the problems the client would had I made a admin form to merge all the databases and check for each record if it would exist.... I knew the client would have problems to merge hundreds of databases....
When it was done... The client told me he didn't need the software anymore.... So I gave it to a friend to use as an client dabatase software... It was perfect for him.
One month later the client called me because he couldn't merge the databases...
I told him I was already working in a company. That my software was ready to solve his problem, but I got mad and deleted everything...
He had to pay almost 20 times more for a software company to make the same software but worst... Mine would merge and check all the databases in a folder... Their's had to pick one by one and didn't check for duplicates... So he had to pay even more for another program to delete duplicates...
That's why I didn't follow programming as a freelance... Lots of regrets today...
Could be working at home, instead had a burn out this week cause of overwork...
Sorry for the long rant.2
Worst technology I've ever worked with?
The error riddled, varchar frenzy, disgusting ui, os and architecture dependent pieces of shit, powered by the cherry on top: fucking VBA, that are applications developed with this monstrosity have kept me awake trying to understand why on earth would anyone that is not dying of cancer already would use such thing to try to build anything.
I had to deal with load of Access applications when I first started at my current company. Whats left now are mainly legacy systems, I killed them one by one and whatever's left will suffer the same punishment.
If you develop in Access you're my enemy and I will destroy you.6
You know you're in the wronk place, when the prod sql table have 473 columns, 0 index, 0 keys and the frontend is made in ms access. And the only possible way to connect to the (virtualized server) database is through citrix...5
Computer science doesn't just mean teach me how to use Microsoft office over and over... MS Access is not useful!!!5
Got a job as a database manager, they wanted me to update their sql server and some of their .net apps. Turns out their sql server had no databases and all their data was stored in an ms access 2003 applications that was using windows for workgroups security!!! It also had no interface, hundreds of tables and queries and there were multiple access db it was connected to. To make things worse the person who built all this stuff used acronyms for everything he did, table names, variables, queries and even bloody window folders!!! It was hard as hell to figure out what anything ment. Oh and the .net apps were asp sites that heavily used dll for storing his code and no one knows where the original source code for them are. Did I also mention there were no comments for any of the code, no database dictionary, no notes or anything.
So apparently I'll be rebuilding everything from scratch and transferring over the data to sql server. AND NO MORE F**KING ACRONYMS!!!!!!!3
I started accidentally. My (first) boss asked me if I knew MS Access. I bluff and said yes, of course.
Then one time I needed a somewhat more advanced macro and started with VBA. My addiction began to grow.
After that I discovered VB.NET
Began programming with AutoCAD. Switched to C#.
Did some HTML CSS JS on the way.
No I'm a C# AutoCAD developer.
All of this started with a little bluff 8years ago1
For about 3x years now, we have had 3x generic work email addresses that are used as microsoft accounts for office 2016 licenses.
(The company is dragging its heels on getting office 365 so MS like to make our lives hell.)
Suddenly we can’t get office updates... and when we sign in to see why, it says that because we are apparently only 3 years old we need our parents permission to use the account or we’ll lose access by September.
Never were we forced to enter a DOB when setting the accounts up!!! So it used the account setup date instead.
It turns out that we can’t change our DOB ourselves, as we are a ‘child’ and need a parents permission.
I access my personal account and follow the instructions to add the 3x email addresses as my children so i can change the DOB.
‘Ha ha’ i hear microsoft saying, ‘it doesn’t work that way!!’
No, In order for the parent to verify their child’s identity, they are charged 0.50c per child!
Doesn’t cost a lot but come on Microsoft!!
It’s that, or submit ID, which obviously wont work for a generic support@ email address like we have.
So annoying and we don’t know what to do.
Wonder how much MS are making out of this...2
So I started a 80hour intership today at our Department of Education and this is how it went...
Boss : Design a database to show all applicants that applied for jobs at schools.
*I start thinking which tables and columns I'm going to use and start designing the database, writes out all the tables on paper*
Me : Is there a pc I should work on or should I use my laptop? And which database engine do you use?
B : No you can use your laptop. And btw we use MS Access
*Thinking wtf kind of business even governmental uses Access for their databases. But anyway, start creating the databases and relationships when my boss walks in*
B : No, what are you doing?
M : Im creating the database you asked for.
B : No, you design it on paper. Draw all the tables, draw the report and the form then you come show it to me, if I decide its good enough you can come in tomorrow and start creating it.
*Wtf kind of place is this, are you mentally retarded? You have a IT staff of 3 people, in which only the actual fulltime intern is a qualified IT professional, but when me or him tries to do some actual work, you give us shit about doing what was asked from us*5
A little background of me. I’m a firm believer of knowledge is power, skill is practice and hard work. Especially for this field, it’s easier to self learn the skills or language these days without having to take loans or burn a huge hole in ur wallet and stuff. But i personally feel, it’s hard to follow an effective path of learning when the info is everywhere. So have to be careful with that. (that’s why I’m here to learn from experts, lurking around)
Sure, degree is just a paper or validation that this person has completed this and that. But doesn’t reflect their actual skill. Especially for this field where u can just show ur skills by making projects. If ur potential boss is impressed by ur skills, u are hired. BUT if ure in Singapore, they require u to have degree by law. No matter how skilled u are, u only get specific amount of salary within a preset range. The range goes by Diploma, Degree, Master, PhD. Etc. U will still get hired by a company if they like u, but won’t get more than a preset range.
I was contented with just my Diploma. But decided to get degree cuz I wanted to earn more. And now considering to go for ms, just cuz my current company gives sponsorship.
Aside from salary, I do think getting a degree in University is one of the important phases of the life, where ure working hard, trying to juggle different things. Also, u do get other perks being a uni students, like discount for books, get access to latest devices if the uni has.
But all in all, whatever floats ur boat, right.4
Had a teacher in high school who ordered us to learn MS Access, even tho most of us already knew MySQL... It was to learn about relations and the likes...
We spend way to long on that subject, because most of really didn't find the Access interface intuitive and she had to walk from table to table helping...
The only two finished the task where those who say screw it and used MySQL 😅
SharePoint things that I get yelled at by customers for:
Setting up page permissions wrong (even though the real problem is that a coworker didn’t check the page in)
Writing the workflow wrong and nobody is getting emailed (even though they didn’t select who to send the email to)
Not magically knowing that they wanted the new intern (who started Tuesday) to be given full design rights on their page
Not magically knowing that their discussion mod quit a year ago (before I started here) and now nobody can feature a post
Not spinning up an entire new site so that they could post a link to a single sign up sheet for their team (of 10 people) barbecue
Somehow making it so MS Edge can’t handle high res images correctly (because I totally created Edge (which isn’t even a supported browser here))
Not responding immediately when they submitted a ticket at 7:00pm (I’m off at 5) asking me to change one word on a page they have edit rights to
Not giving their admin assistant global design rights for our entire organization
Not giving them access to a confidential folder that has nothing to do with their job
Telling the owner of aforementioned folder that they’re not allowed to store confidential data in SharePoint
Making workflows too confusing for them to figure out
Fixing shit workflows that their ex coworker built wrong
Generally having the word SharePoint associated with my name2
MS Access and VBA.
This combo is the worst dev tech I had to use it by now. Why? Because even if you try it, you can't make a single line of clean code. The syntax is horrible, it still use GOTO...
Maybe the reason why I hated working with it is linked to the context too: I was (and still) developing a system using NoSQL database and this system should be mostly fully configurable through metadata within JSON documents and it was. But we were still writing every JSON by hands so we decided we needed to develop a web based utility for us and clients who would need to configure the system but one of the head decision making people said that we don't need to use fancy technologies (because NoSQL is already "fancy") and that the configuration tool will be develop with Access because he used it a lot when he was younger and when he was coding during its free time. He said that using Access would be much easier and much time saving than our "fancy web based solution" and that he could help if we had questions...
Developing a MS Access software is already a pain in the ass but when you need to output JSON with it...1
That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.
This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.
Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?
So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.
I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.
The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).
Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.
Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/
Either I am dumb or the moon landings were fake.
I have another room on the same floor but on the other side of the coridor.
Now since the WFH is going to be extended (uptil next year or forever if we want, because my manager is cool), my employer offered to help us with infrastrucutre reimbursements.
The room we live in is street facing and has lot of noise and because of my meetings, parents also have to adjust a lot.
The other room is used by nobody, quiet and bright.
I decided to setup an Access Point in that room and use it as my personal 70 sq mt office. 😎
Now the ISP guy does the cable work. All up and running. I end my workday and head to setup the SSID and Password.
We had tested for default router SSID and Password, which worked.
NOW THE SHIT BEGINS.
I set the main and this AP with same SSID and Password (same encryption type), for seamless roaming.
I move to the main room, phone connects to main AP, internet works flawlessly.
I move to second room, phone connects to second AP, internet works flawlessly.
Laptop goes berserk. It works on main AP SSID/Password, but doesn't connect on the second one.
It still tries to connect to main even when I am standing next to the second AP which has stronger singal.
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL???
You guess the OS right. MS Windows 10.
How does it matter? You have the name, you have the password, you a stronger signal.
FUCKING CONNECT THEN.
So I Google a bit and figured that technically the seamlessness is hypothetical when setting up multiple APs with same SSID/Password.
We fucking reached the moon yet I cannot connect to same network in another room?
Either I am dumb or the moon landings were fake.16
Hello devs, I need help from database devs.
The company where I'm interning is a non IT company, so they planned to migrate to a SQL Database from their older MS Access Database.
Since I'm the only IT intern, I'm up against the major devs and hot shots from where my company outsources IT solutions.
They suggested SQL Express.
I have a meeting tomorrow with them, please help me so that I can get better results for my company.
Basically I have to question them about how their decision works better for our firm and why didn't we go for MySQL Enterprise Edition or anything which is much better and cheaper and such critical questions.
Please help me.
The Database would be used to store information about the products manufactured and their parts' history so that in future if there's a problem with the product, it can be looked up in the database so that there can be further replacement or repair processes.10
Fucking hell!!!!! So much to put out... multiple topics..
1. I had something to complete and for the sake for good beetle bug, I cannot figure out what that is and have the shitty constant feeling of 'something is pending and needs to be done'. This happens soo often and is just very annoying. While I have bigger tasks pending for later, I aim to finish smaller ones but cannot remember. I need to start writing everything down now.
God damn fuck what is it?
2. I watched The Social Dilemma. Fucking cringe fest. Made by a friend of those companies, Netflix is doing the exact same thing with the film as that is shown it in. What a shitty irony.
A propaganda movie revolving around politics, conspiracy theory (how ironic again), and the very great united states of murica. Wasted my 1.34 hours and it was soooo stupid on sooo many levels. I don't even feel like discussing it here.
3. I am sooo irritated right now due to SAD. I am starting to dislike my dark themes. I need a lamp and it is not available in my country. Someone feed me sunlight.. just cannot wait for month end to pop in some supps. Await it more eagerly than pay cheque, these winters. And let's not talk about the symptoms like headaches and how it causes anxiety. Do I need to cut down my coffee? Because I don't really want to cut the only decent thing I have left to consume.
4. This weather. Autumn. I fucking love this time of the year. End of September to Year end. It makes me nostalgically sad but it's soooo comfy and cosy for soul. But SAD ruins the fun and lack of proper celebrations of Indian fests and Halloween.
5. It's been approx 3/4 weeks I started using MS Edge, the interface is neat but I am seeing some drop in internet speed and when I access Chrome again, the fact that Chrome too faces internet speed drop is weird. Feels like I should move back to Chrome because only thing is better here is the interface and spotlight images. The image/video rendering sucks (or is it just me?). Chrome also provides bookmark synching. Not sure what would work out in few weeks.
6. Lastly and most importantly, the patterns. The fucking patterns everywhere. An event happens and then it happens again and then again. Patterns exist everywhere and my brain is real champ at identifying patterns but why the fuck do patterns exists!!!!! Fucking WHY???
Whatever it be, the "history repeats itself" patterns are making fractals and annoying the shit out of me.
The good thing is, talked to this friend of mine and she is really nice. Like we talk a lot (whenever we do) and since I am on job hunt, she came up with some kickass resources and ideas and links and much more just to help me out.
She is a sweetheart and for that matter, most of my friends are actually going forth and helping me in multiple ways to get a job. I mean I am just amazed by the fact that help poured in from all side without even asking.
I absolutely love such people who go extra mile to be in your life without you even asking.
I am surrounded by some good gems that warms my heart.8
My colleague had to build an inventory application with MS access. He did it in 6 months without no manual and then quit :D
Several years ago, I heard from a friend who was doing assignments for students on the side. Quite a hustle. His story began when he wanted to figure out why can't these students be able to draw their own database tables, relationships, UML, etc. That's what school has to be teaching them and then he was told that they were learning through MS Access. He goes and tell me that even though this is a lame way of teaching database design, its definitely easier to explain through hands-on and less typing mistakes, as according to the lecturer he met. Making the explanation more visually appealing and helpful for understanding.
OK I get it, but somehow that taught them the wrong way of database design from the beginning. I'd prefer getting them to start writing SQL commands from day 1 and play em at some DB VM. Keep em as real as it gets.
It was the last year of high school.
We had to submit our final CS homework, so it gets reviewed by someone from the ministry of education and grade it. (think of it as GPA or whatever that is in your country).
Now being me, I really didn’t do much during the whole year, All I did was learning more about C#, more about SQL, and learn from the OGs like thenewboston, derek banas, and of course kudvenkat. (Plus more)
The homework was a C# webform website of whatever theme you like (mostly a web store) that uses MS Access as DB and a C# web service in SOAP. (Don’t ask.)
Months have passed, and only had 2 days left to deadline, with nothing on my hand but website sketches, sample projects for ideas, and table schematics.
I went ahead and started to work on it, for 48 hours STRAIGHT.
No breaks, barely ate, family visited and I barely noticed, I was just disconnected from reality.
48 hours passed and finished the project, I was quite satisfied with my it, I followed the right standards from encrypting passwords to verifying emails to implementing SQL queries without the risk of SQL injection, while everyone else followed foot as the teacher taught with plain text passwords and… do I need to continue? You know what I mean here.
Anyway, I went ahead and was like, Ok, lets do one last test run, And proceeded into deleting an Item from my webstore (it was something similar to shopify).
I refreshed. Nothing. Blank page. Just nothing. Nothing is working, at all.
Went ahead to debug almost everywhere, nothing, I’ve gone mad, like REALLY mad and almost lose it, then an hour later of failed debugging attempts I decided to rewrite the whole project from scratch from rebuilding the db, to rewriting the client/backend code and ui, and whatever works just go with it.
Then I noticed a loop block that was going infinite.
NEVER WAIT FOR A DATABASE TO HAVE MINIMUM NUMBER OF ROWS, ALWAYS ASSUME THAT IT HAS NO VALUES. (and if your CPU is 100%, its an infinite loop, a hard lesson learned)
The issue was that I requested 4 or more items from a table, and if it was less it would just loop.
So I went ahead, fixed that and went to sleep.
The day has come, the guy from the ministry came in and started reviewing each one of the students homeworks, and of course, some of the projects crashed last minute and straight up stopped working, it's like watching people burning alive.
My turn was up, he came and sat next to me and was like:
Him: Alright make me an account with an email of firstname.lastname@example.org with a password 123456
Me: … that won't work, got a real email?
Him: What do you mean?
Me: I implemented an email verification system.
Him: … ok … just show me the website.
Me: Alright as you can see here first of all I used mailgun service on a .tk domain in order to send verification emails you know like every single website does, encrypted passwords etc… As you can see this website allows you to sign up as a customer or as a merc…
Him: Good job.
He stood up and moved on.
I WENT THROUGH HELL IN THE PAST 48 HOURS.
AND YOU JUST SAT THERE FOR A MINUTE AND GAVE UP ON REVIEWING MY ENTIRE MASTERPIECE? GO SWIM IN A POOL FULL OF BURNING OIL YOU COUNTLESS PIECE OF SHIT
I got 100/100 in the end, and I kinda feel like shit for going thought all that trouble for just one minute of project review, but hey at least it helped me practice common standards.2
Nice to do some refactoring of the whole data access layer of our core logistics software, let me tell an story.
The project is around 80k lines of code, with a lot of integrations with an ERP system and an sql database.
The ERP system is old, shitty api for it also, only static methods through an wrapper to an c++ library
imagine an order table.
To access an order, you would first need to open the database by calling Api.Open(...file paths) (yes, it's an fucking flat file type database)
Now the database is open, now you would open the orders table with method Api.Table(int tableId) and in return you would get an integer value, the pointer.
Now for the actual order. first you need to search for it by setting the search parameter to the column ID of the order number while checking all calls for some BS error code
Api.SetInt(int pointer, int column, int query Value)
Then call the find method.
Then to top this shitcake of an api of: if it doesn't find your shit it will use the "close enough" method of search.
And now to read a singe string 😑
First you will look in the outdated and incorrect documentation given to you from the devil himself and look for the column ID to find the length of the column.
Then you create a string variable with ALL FUCKING SPACES.
Now you call the Api.GetStr(int pointer, int column, ref string emptyString, int length)
Now you have passed your poor string to the api's demon orgy by reference.
Then some more BS error code checking.
Now you have read an string value 😀
Now keep in mind to repeat these steps for all 300+ columns in the order table.
News from the creators: SQL server? yes, sql is good so everything will be better?
Now imagine the poor developers that got tasked to convert this shitcake to use a MS SQL server, that they did.
Now I can honestly say that I found the best SQL server benchmark tool. This sucker creams out just above ~105K sql statements per second on peak and ~15K per second for 1.5 second to read an order. 1.5 second to read less than 4 fucking kilobytes!
Right at that moment I released that our software would grind to an fucking halt before even thinking about starting it. And that me & myself and I would be tasked to fix it.
4 months later and two weeks until functional beta, here I am. We created our own api with the SQL server 😀
And the outcome of all this...
Fixes bugs older than a year, Forces rewriting part of code base. Forces removal of dirty fixes. allows proper unit and integration testing and even database testing with snapshot feature.
The whole ERP system could be replaced with ~10 lines of code (provided same relational structure) on the application while adding it to our own API library.
Best part is probably the performance improvements 😀. Up to 4500 times faster and 60 times less memory usage also with only managed memory.3
That moment you call a php curl script to download files handed to it from a python script because the http request in python somehow get blocked by corporate bullshit, but you also need access to MS products for this script to work, which you can't do in PHP.
# Corporate "Security" is bullshit
# Fail, Adapt, Overcome9
So, project needs vive headset + unity.
Set up done, unity project made, set up, plug the two, start tweaking, fixing stuff... Aaaaand need to tweak the script. Double click, MS studio comes up... Need to reactive the license...
I don't have a personal license (and I never will get one either, given how many times microshit has been a major pain in my glorious ass, I tend to avoid their shithole of products at all costs. Somebody else actually gave me access for this project.
So, that doesn't work, goes to download a free version, aaaaaaand apparently my level of access doesn't allow me to install this one.
Notepad++ it is. 😶3
I'm the company's git guy. Here's an actual, typical, interaction:
[Coworker] 12:08 PM:
Hi jallman112, good afternoon
[Coworker] 12:08 PM:
I get this error -
[Coworker] 12:08 PM:
git.exe clone --progress -v "[path to local SVN checkout]\repoName" "[path to local git folder]\repoName"
Cloning into '[path to local git folder]\repoName'...
fatal: '[path to local SVN checkout]\repoName' does not appear to be a git repository
fatal: Could not read from remote repository.
Please make sure you have the correct access rights
and the repository exists.
git did not exit cleanly (exit code 128) (515 ms @ 3/14/2019 12:07:26 PM)
[Me] 1:38 PM:
Looks like [path to local SVN checkout]\repoName is not a git repo1
How MS Office came about:
In the office suite I think the top guys stayed for Excel. These guys, are so good. They build Access. But it was always after 6pm on saturdays.
The "I know stuff, and I'll figure things along the way" guys stayed with Word. And in their part time, developed Powerpoit.
Excel guys were so great, they also developed the WordArt and later the SmartArt for Word and Powerpoint!
Thats why we still have that awefull blue and red-wine colours as default...2
Bruteforce programming about which I've already ranted earlyer and also let's implement everything in our ms access database and regularly open the DB using the Windows task skeduler.2
Soo... Let me get this straight... My boss reeeeeeally wants me to reconfigure our database system to sync data between each of our 15 sites... Let me this about this...
Our database is an MS Access database originally written about 17 years ago. It was written as a standalone database that runs a unique instance for each of our sites.The person responsible for the database (still not the original developer) before I took over 6 years ago bragged about how they were "an 80s developer" (w...t...f!). Even with all of the fixes and additions (additions because... F&$#ing of course there are!) It's still basically held together by duct tape and spit.
Hmmm... Ok, still possible. What's the environment I'm working in... I have absolutely ZERO control of our workplace network... That's a whole other department. Due to the nature of the workplace (and it's sites) there is extreme limitation on network access.
Well... If I'm Reeeeeeally nice to the people in charge of the network, maaaaaybe they can give me access to a little server space.
A very long shot, but, doab.... Oh, the boss would really like this handled in the next couple months...
F$#k you! There is no way on God's (still) green earth that I... Alone... Can rewrite a legacy database... written across 4 or 5 different versions of FU$KING MS Access, and give 15 sites, with extremely limited networking, real time data sync in... Oh, a few months.
Now, I do not work with "computer people". I'm usually lucky when my coworkers remember their passwords (which, even if they don't, WHY tell ME! I don't run the network!)
And when I tell my boss basically what I just said... In a nice, pleasant way... They suggest I'm not giving the problem enough thought...
FU#K YOU IGNORANT ASS! Write me a ToDo list in MS Access (no, I'm not going to tell you where to start) in under an hour then, MAYBE, we can talk about... No... Just NO... Can't be done!
*Takes deep breath* so... Lovely weather we're having, right?3
Today I investigated how one could build a Windows 10 VM.
We have an Azure subscription in our company (which is expensive enough), which gives me access to their new interface where it looked like I could build a Windows 10 VM. I was so happy that MS actually made this feature for developers, until I got redirected to the MSDN front-page telling me that you would need ANOTHER FUCKING SUBSCRIPTION to do that. This is fucked up. You pay for access to Office 365, then you pay for Azure and THEN you pay for MSDN just to pay for another Windows 10 license so you can test a simple Azure feature on Windows 10. How about nope.6
Recently my company has bought a patented product from the IIT, Kharagpur, India (those who are not from India just Google this name. It's one of the most esteemed engineering colleges in India). I can not provide the details of the product, but let's talk about the technology stack they used.
The software module of this product was built using VB 6 (yes, you read that right) and MATLAB 6.0 (released in 2000), and used MS Access for database. Remember, the product was built in 2015 and patented in 2016 or 17. The people who built the software were mostly final year B.Tech CS (equivalent to B.S.) students and one IIT professor.
This shows what we need to change in the CS education. Do I need to say more?1
I have to maintain a system for a financial institution that only works with Windows XP and Ms Access 2003. All VBA code, security is handled using a workgroup file. Can't upgrade anything because client doesn't want to pay for it.
Dude at work floats the idea of creating separate Github accounts for personal and work for security. My response:
While we're discussing options, we should also consider maintaining a list of users as a CSV^H^H^H MS Excel file, and install an authentication server that runs off the laptop of an "IT Administrator". That way it'll be super secure because hackers cannot access any system outside of working hours, as well as the days that said admin is off from work.2
When I first started down the path to becoming a developer, I was a "business analyst" where I managed our departments reports and ended up migrating all the reports from daily query run in MS Access with Task manager and emailed out to all the managers including the VP of the entire business unit, I created
Views in the database and sent out the same spreadsheet with the view in excel daily since management didn't want "change". Granted this was at a large health care company in the US and didn't want to invest in a real dashboard for their reports. The only thing that was changed in the email and file was the file name with the current date. I left the company a while ago and recently applied for a similar position for the shits and gigs. Interviewed with the It manager and they're still using the same excel macro I wrote 3 years later.2
DEAR NON TECHNICAL 'IT' PERSON, JUST CONSUME THE FUCKING DATA!!!!
Continuation of this:
So essentially my theory was correct that their concern about data not being up to date is almost certianly ... the spreadsheet is old, not the data.... but I'm up against this wall of a god damn "IT PERSON" who has no technical or logic skills, but for some reason this person doesn't think "man I'm confused, I should talk to my other IT people" rather they just eat my time with vague and weird requests that they express with NO PRECISION WHATSOEVER and arbitrary hold ups and etc.
Like it's pretty damn obvious your spreadsheet was likely created before you got the latest update, it's not a mystery how this might happen. But god damn I tell them to tell me or go find out when the spreadsheet was generated and nothing happens.
Meanwhile their other IT people 'cleaned the database' and now a bunch of records are missing and they want me to just rando update a list of records. Like wtf is 'clean the database' all about!?!?!?
I'm all "hey how about I send you all records between these dates and now we're sure you've got all the records you need up to date and I'll send you my usual updates a couple times a day using the usual parameters".
But this customer is all "oh man that's a lot of records", what even is that?
It's like maybe 10k fucking records at most. Are you loading this in MS Access or something (I really don't know MS Access limits, just picking an old weird system) and it's choking??!?! Just fucking take the data and stick it in the damn database, how much trouble can it be?!!?!?
Side theory: I kinda wonder if after they put it in the DB every time someone wants the data they have some API on their end that is just "HERE"S ALL THE FUCKING DATA" and their client application chokes and that's why there's a concern about database size with these guys.
I also wonder if their whole 'it's out of date' shit is actually them not updating records properly and they're sort of grooming the DB size to manage all these bad choices....
Having said all that, it makes a lot more sense to me how we get our customers. Like we do a lot of customer sends us their data and we feed it back to them after doing surprisingly basic stuff ever to it... like guies your own tools do th---- wait never mind....1
Current project I'm working on requires that I import data from an MS Excel workbook using .NET.
No problem, I'll just use the handy OpenXML API. Works just fine. Implement my solution with no hiccups.
The user needs to have the file open at the same time though, so that they can fill in some information in the app's GUI about which columns to pull in. Uh oh.
Turns out that Windows doesn't even let you READ an Excel workbook if anyone has it open. Through the Office GUI I get the option to open it in read-only mode in this case. Through .NET though? Not on your life. Fucking IOException. No matter how I try to open it, doesn't work.
Can't even copy the fucking thing into a temp directory (which makes absolutely no fucking sense).
Only solution I've found to try and get access to the open file is to use Shadow Copy/Virtual Snapshot Service to try and trigger a backup of the file mapped to a virtual directory. Can you say overkill?
Going to try to implement that after lunch. There's a nuget package that wraps the Win32 API at least, but that requires VC++ Redist dependencies with we don't ship with currently.
This has gotten blown way out of proportion. I'm so irritated.8
Excel literally has internal support for treating other excel workbooks as SQL databases, encouraging end-users to do that instead of using MS Access properly, and *it doesn't even work*.6
Yesterday, friend asked me to help her with some homework that used Microsoft Access. Reluctantly, I agreed. Upon seeing her textbook, I realized why on earth she's using Access. It's a Shelly Cashman Series textbook, a brand I hate with an utter passion for many reasons. Her book was an updated version of the one I used for "Introduction to Computers" at my first school 3 years ago, in which I learned how to use Win7, Word, PowerPoint, Excel, and Access. Nothing, in Access or that book, has changed since then.
Additionally, mom is planning on going back to college hopefully this summer, the same one I first went to. She too will have to take the Intro to Computers class, and the next semester (which may be fall if she gets summer classes), she'll have a whole class that solely uses Access for everything.
My friends and especially family should be glad I've worked with databases and Access before and can explain everything...2
And so begins week 3 of 5 without full computer access. I'm able to do some research needed but I'm still very limited. The only programs I can use are IE11, and the three basic MS Office programs. Oh well... at least I'm still getting paid by the hour1
My boss told me I have to update a ms access db that hasn't been touched since 2012... I know nothing about access or vb and I have no desire to learn that crap. But I leave for vacation on Friday so I just have to skate by until then.
OK so here's the business/economic reason of why MS bought GitHub.
I don't quite get it... but basically it seems its like LinkedIn, just buying the users/access to the developers...2
After my first ever "thing" I wrote (see story here: https://devrant.com/rants/2132057/...) fast forward 7 years to my first project when I /* thought I */ knew what I was doing and didn't write just for myself.
I worked in a very small company distributing various materials for medical research, many of them bought from manufacturers and then relabelled as if we had produced it. One part of that was to indicate a production batch / lot number. Before I started there, they would just invent a random number on the spot and use that on the new label and somewhere write it down to document that, I at least used an Excel sheet to have numbers prepared and document it on the same line (still crappy but more than nothing). After some time my boss got the idea to have all of that documented in MS Access (because that was the only database he knew). I had just started with HTML, PHP and MySQL in apprentice school around the same time, so I proposed writing an appropriate solution using those and got permission.
I started coding and learnt so much that I didn't need to pay attention at school anymore as I was years ahead of the curriculum (the others were struggling with If-statements and the likes).
When I was done with Version 1.0 of my web application, it was of course still crude as hell. I used html forms to save input (like editor.php -> submit to save.php, do save -> redirect to editor.php), but it did what had not been done before: keeping it all together and force people to do it properly. 2 years later I wrote a version 2, adding features that showed to be useful and with improved structure, as my last project before leaving, and as far as I know, they are still using it, which is at this point 2 years after I've left.
Looking back I would do it differently, but for what I knew back then it was not bad at all.2
Ms access, or rather the systems developed using this tech.
Unfortunately I worked with it a lot in the past fixing applications made by non-developers. Usually someone who went on a ms office training course then when they leave the company the database breaks and no one has a clue how to fix it.
Ha! Our Ops Support DBA Manager just asked (tongue in cheek) "if we are now supporting MS Access, too?" To which of course, the answer is no. Business user who install Access on their desktop and use it for business, get to provide their own support. As their Dev DBA, I'll be more than happy to help them migrate their data to SQL Server, Oracle, or Teradata, depending on the Use Case for the data. But, no, we don't support Access. Ever.
How Microsoft expect anyone to develop using any technology they introduce with so many limitations.
Moi a Microsoft dumb enthusiast said to myself : hey dude you are a developer stop whining about the app gap bust a move create decent array of apps and release them, went into a full project management mode wrote requirements did sketches and some prototypes, time to execute.
1. first app: image files organizer, viewer , with some light editor capabilities and album creator after some work i came to discover that you don't have a proper file system APIs to show a folder tree view in my app "WTF" there are work arounds and dirty solutions but seriously? i can only access the stupid media folders created by Microsoft and that's it.
so i ditched the apps until uwp become a development tools with target audience other than kids who eat crayons, and while using "Edge" i thought to my self : "you know what dude extensions are cool and if you do something like a speed dial it would be awesome"
fire up my text editor started writing my extension to discover that:
"you cannot use localStorage from local HTML files".
moral of the story
MS is failing with consumers not because people hate MS but rather MS hates itself like no engineer over there said to him self this is fking stupid ?
other limitations :
no proper system tray access
no registry access what so ever
and i have started 2 days ago.
yeah Ms this is the main app gap problem the uwp sucks big time. compared to android Java which has a great access to every aspect of the device even apple provide better APIs for their systems.
if uwp is MS future then rip MS.
please i stand corrected if anyone knows better.2
C++ development tool recommendations wanted for W10 OS:
Currently use MS Visual Studio, but as they make it rather hard to use offline (I may be homeless for a period of time, with no internet access.) and really expensive !
What else could I use to develop in C++ ?
Ideally something freeware..
Cheap is kinda ok, but only if it keeps working !
And, doesn't do an Intel, eg. I once paid for a copy of their C++ Compiler, but now I find my login details no longer accepted !
I paid for it damn it !6
Seriously !!!! I did not agreed for any data collection.
Welcome to .NET Core!
Learn more about .NET Core @ https://aka.ms/dotnet-docs. Use dotnet --help to see available commands or go to https://aka.ms/dotnet-cli-docs.
The .NET Core tools collect usage data in order to improve your experience. The data is anonymous and does not include commandline arguments. The data is collected by Microsoft and shared with the community.
You can opt out of telemetry by setting a DOTNET_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT environment variable to 1 using your favorite shell.
You can read more about .NET Core tools telemetry @ https://aka.ms/dotnet-cli-telemetry.
A command is running to initially populate your local package cache, to improve restore speed and enable offline access. This command will take up to a minute to complete and will only happen once.
Decompressing 100% 3803 ms
Expanding 100% 17279 ms
I discovered you could edit the Visual Basic code in MS Access. I would read the code that was in there and figure out how i could extend it to do what i want. first code i ever wrote was a switch statement to control whether a set of buttons were enabled based on a dropdown value.
Recently I had a task from my university to build some DB with forms using MS Access.
Despite of me constantly thinking that I wold accomplish this using Python+SQLite+Some GUI much faster, I've completed.
And I've got only one question left: why the hell proprietary product with giant company behind has such a terrible UX?
It' really painful to use.
Question to you all, do you really think you own your computer or system/data when almost all sites/services out there state very clearly in there ELUA(Fuck yes ours) that they might use your data how they feel fit, now this does not stop with websites, Mac, Windows and some Linux Distros also do this.
I for one stop thinking that I own data but I just change a few bits to make it look different these days, everything on your computer is not yours, we its and hardware, read the ELUA/TOS many hold the right to recall, revoke and so on use of the items to the point you paid for it they will take it back.
Items now sending keylogs, data usage and apps usage data to MS, Apple, some big linux distro, and YES this happens don't fool yourself Apple and MS both admit this happen and both US and UK now requesting these companies to let the have full access to this data, if it was not there they wouldn't want it.
This wont stop me from messing with code and loving tech but do you really feel you own anything anymore?
I don't :P7
I am currently making a MS Access DB for my soon to be former workplace (compulsory social service) with a GUI.
It's a project administration DB with Schools, Projects, Plans, etc. I am making it because they used Access like a Excel spreadsheet.
How much would you demand per hour?7
If someone is proud about using Alpha Five Software for developing... You just upgraded from MS Access to MS Access++... And you suck...
Go and learn some serious PL's and tools...1
Today was the first time, that Git saved my ass.
I'm building an MS Access DB with fronted and apparently I fucked up while working on some FS stuff and corrupted the fronted-db.
Luckily, I sync my changes regularly to a git-repo so I just took my last backup and applied all changes that happened in between.