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Dad: why do these forms ask me to fill those random characters(captcha)
Me: to verify that you are human
Dad: as if animals can use computers
Me: 😅7 -
Something which I felt inspirational.. As a programmer or as a Human being, it's our duty to teach others what we know well !
(My Personal opinion)
36 -
iOS: Hey, human wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
iOS: Out of Memory.
Me: What?
iOS: I ain't explaining shit.2 -
Google: "Please prove you're a human."
Me: "Hello Google, I'm human!"
Google: "Prove you're a human..."
Me: *Stabbing my finger and dripping blood on the computer*
Google "Prove you're a human!!"
Me: *Crying, laughing, expressing feelings*
Google: "Prove you're a human I said!!!"
Me: "4527"
Google:" Thank you."4 -
Heard this from a young lady today in the train while she was talking on phone:
"Software guys has the easiest job of all. All they do is sit in front of the computer and does stuff. That doesn't challenge you does it? No offence, I mean I'm not trying to offend anybody blah blah blah...."
Ummm Sorry lady I think you just offended thousands of people although you tried your best not to offend them.30 -
Coworker: "Hey do you have 30 minutes? We should debug my broken code together."
Me: *slightly interested in the project he's working on* "Sure, let's do it."
Coworker: *explains the problem for 10 mins*
Me: "Maybe--"
Coworker: "OH here's the problem!" *type type type* *git commit -am 'Fixed'* "Done."
Me: *wants 10 minutes of life back*9 -
Got a phishing email with name-pw sent as get parameters so i did what ever respectable human would have
16 -
If I learned every spoken and dead language ever created in human history, I still wouldn't have enough swear words to describe how much I loathe SharePoint.5
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There is this guy at work we call 'the human linter'
Despite his mad clean codes skills: light theme
Dafuq dude :(13 -
When you've convinced a good number of your colleagues to try out Protonmail then you find out later that they're not using it anymore because it doesn't support the Gmail Android app 😬😬😬
Even if it's supported, WHAT THE FUCK is the point of using e2e encrypted email if you're accessing it using 3rd party apps?
10 -
This is getting infectious now.. It is spreading to human languages.. We have to do something real quick..
56 -
Human: "Why did you buy an old iPhone?"
Me: "Mostly for cross-platform development"
*Apparently that was not the answer they were expecting*6 -
So yesterday I became an actual human rubber duck!
So I have a colleague in my team that for weird reasons is not allowed to work with the same thing as the other colleagues in the team is allowed to work with. So she´s kind of alone, working on another project, and that seems to suck really hard.
And this is how I became a human rubber duck. She asked me a couple of questions about a technology/language I´ve never touched before and I told her I never worked with that technology or language and know nothing. But she was eager to get me over to take a look at what she meant.
So I came over to her screen and she started to tell me everything about the project, the technology and the language. I soon realized she wasn´t only looking for help, she was probably feeling alone in the work she was doing and just needed someone to talk to. So I took my role as the human rubber duck and sat down to listen to everything even though I almost didn´t understand anything.
I think it actually helped her even though I did nothing.
Being a human rubber duck felt good!
7 -
Every hour or so someone shows up at my desk requesting a query to be executed.
I feel like I'm just a human-sql interface.3 -
It's funny, whenever the subject of facebook vs privacy comes up (mostly I don't even initiate those convo's), people always start to defend facebook when I say that I THINK that facebook is build to get people addicted to it and get them to stay on facebook as long as possible.
Haha, one of facebook's early investers/ex facebook presidents said the following in an interview:
“It’s a social-validation feedback loop, exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
So even an ex president of facebook is admitting this.
I also found the folloing a good one:
The underlying thought process while creating platforms like Facebook or Instagram is something like “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?”
Last but not least, the part I found the most scary:
“God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”
Yes, I find this scary.
Oh yeah and for the people who are going to call bullshit on this one, I've got one source and if you search engine on the title of that article then you'll find loads of websites having that story:
https://fossbytes.com/facebook-was-...26 -
reverse turing test in which you have to convince machine that you are a human... oh wait we already have captcha2
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HR: Everyone must fill out these 100% anonymous surveys about how you feel about our company, it’s leadership, and how likely you are to leave in the next 6 months etc. Please be 100% honest, since again it is 100% anonymous. Reminder! You must use the individual links we sent to you, do NOT use someone else’s link. Oh did we say it’s 100% anonymous?
The Link:
www. surveygen .com/ companysurvey123 ?employeeName=boombodies &employeeId=6969
Dev: …19 -
Looking at the number of JavaScript frameworks that are popping up these days..
a day will come, when human race will get extinct and only JS frameworks will survive like cockroaches..!!3 -
HR: Hey we heard about all of the apps you are building and we were wondering if you could build one for us too
Dev: Well I’d have to run it by my manager first, what kind of app were you looking to build?
HR: Ok basically it’s a button that when you press it it completes the list of daily tasks that normally take us all day everyday like payroll and attendance reporting.
Dev: You…. want me to…automate your entire job away?
HR: No! We would be the ones to push the button😡.
Dev: I….. I’ll…. I will pass that along.4 -
WHY can I only make digital payments on weekdays, 7:00-16:00?? Its not like there's a human authorizing all transactions. And computers don't sleep!!4
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May be when the first human is born on Mars, we'll have to add "Planet of Birth" to our passports.😂11
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HR: Here at company A we have a great culture. It truly is the best place ever to work!
Dev: How many companies have you worked for?
HR: Besides babysitting as a teenager this is the only company I’ve ever worked for.
Dev: I thought so.3 -
How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork
Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?5 -
All of the things broke today. I'm currently numb as I'm experiencing every emotion possible. I need alcohol and a beach. And no human interaction.10
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I just LOVE posting questions in online forums and getting some amazingly helpful human being answering; "No idea, sorry."
WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR AMAZING INPUT!!!2 -
Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone
- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server
- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates
- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects
- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts
- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers
- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually
- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle16 -
So, I told my new newbies intern; "Please keep remind yourself, not accidently type 'rm -rf /' as root. You don't want to know what going to happen". He nod.
Next day, in the dev server, "Kernal Panic". Human, full of curiosity.6 -
rant, but not an IT kind... okay, maybe not even a rant, more like depressive rambling:
in 3 days, I'll turn 29.
i'm living with my mom, in the apartment where I was born, in the room i've been living since I was born (with the exception of 2 attempts to move out which together lasted 9 months).
my theoretical monthly income should/could be around 4000€, based on my skills and experience.
but I'm a (manic)-depressive, chronically lonely idiot loser (and the manic phases come more and more rarely in recent years), so
my practical average monthly income fluctuates from 0 to about 200.
i am unable to keep a job for more than 4 months, so after being fired from about 20 or so of them since I was 18, it takes immense amounts of mental and emotional energy to even start looking for one now... so I usually don't.
i've been about 12000€ in debt for the past 8 or so years, half of which is just debt collector fees.
it's kinda funny, for years, i've been unable to solve a debt which theoretically amounts to 3 months of my theoretical achievable salary.
my father, who just left without a word of explanation when I was 18, has decided this is not viable anymore, so I'm supposed to move out by 10th of next month, "either to some cheap rooming house, or under the bridge, I don't care", as he put it.
I can't remember how it feels to exist a single hour without feeling existential dread and dreading each next day, not knowing what to do or if i'll even be able to try and do something, because this feeling is so strong that it often blocks me from being able to do anything. i just shiver most of the time that i'm awake, feeling like you feel few minutes before puking and crying at the same time. and that feeling is my "how are you?", "you know... normal".
i can't remember what it feels to feel any other way and can't even imagine it, and can't imagine that I'll ever achieve any less shit feeling.
literally all of my social contact consists of going out once to twice a month with the only 2 friends and 2 aquaintances I have who have the time and will to spend it with me.
oh, and hiding in my room, avoiding talking to my mom, because each time we talk she just reminds me what a piece of shit failure I am, and tells me how it's not that hard to change it, I just have to stop being lazy and start working for it.
she's... kind and caring about it, which somehow maybe makes it even worse.
i have about 10 almost complete game designs, each of them at least 50% more original and interesting (at least to me) than the things that are coming out for the past 10 years, being lauded as "the most original and unique".
I have been trying to make them, ANY of them, since I was 18, but I always lose all the drive and resolve and energy in like 4 months, because it's like trying to build a city on my own on a deserted island. too big for one person, but there was never anyone to help me. closest I ever got was one of my friends telling me "i've been thinking many times that i'd love to work on some project with you, if I had the time".
and second time, when I actually found an artist I was going to pay, and he was awesome, and after two weeks of me telling him how awesome what he does is and how it fits the project and my ideas perfectly, he backed out saying "i'm afraid I can't do the quality you require from me".
never ever in my life did I get actual help with something I actually wanted or tried to do.
i have no idea how it feels to have someone working with me on something I actually consider interesting and meaningful, on any of the things which I wanted to make, which made me learn programming.
I've learned graphics and animation and everything going into game making pipeline on my own because I realized nobody will ever help me, so I'll have to do all of it on my own.
I've tried to make a kickstarter once, but I started crying hysterically in the middle of writing it, because I felt like a begging piece of failure shit, even more than usual, so I deleted it.
most of people treat me like shit failure unworthy and undeserving of living, precisely as I myself know I deserve to be treated, because that's what I am, but when I ask for permission to kill myself, since I see no other solution to stop being a burden, they get angry at me that I'm just emotionally blackmailing them. when I afterwards ask them "so help me in any way to do any of the projects i want/need to do", they respond they've got no time for that.
when I talk about all of this, I get told to stop whining.
happy 29th birthday, me, a piece of shit who should've never survived this long, who should've never been born in the first place.
yay.
also, I know this is not the kind of crap that's supposed to be posted here, but i've got nowhere else. sorry.47 -
Lurker here.
Just wanted to highlight the irony of specializing in human computer interaction and automation, while people avoid interaction at work.5 -
Reminder (and probably some form of repost)
Food and sleep are key parts of human behavior.
I forgot and experienced system failure3 -
lol. i applied for a job, and the human resource manager followed me on github. does this means i have gotten the job . lol2
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Here's a thought...
If AI get human rights, and someone destroys the machine, will it be considered destruction of property OR murder...11 -
Manager: We have a new equity survey from HR that is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY. Anyone who doesn’t fill it out will be severely reprimanded for being against diversity in the workplace. We need this data in order to ensure we have the ABSOLUTELY EXACT ratio of EVERY minority so that we can show the people that we do not discriminate against ANYBODY for ANYTHING. One of the problems with hiring new people is that most people we want to hire turn out to be white and we are absolutely not allowed to hire any more white people because we are over the quota for white people. Now there’s a loophole to this, if that white person belongs to some sub-minority like they are muslim or gay or something like that it’s totally cool and we can show people we don’t discriminate on these things when making employment decisions!
Dev: That’s…not wh—
Mandatory Survey: Please select your sexual preferences and/or religion from the dropdown below.
Dev: jesus christ.18 -
Okay, Google. I can see why you want me to check those boxes with cars. And I'm also fine with you telling me to do it on a different picture if the first one didnt had any, just to check. But WHAT I AM FUCKING NOT OKAY WITH, IS ME SOLVING CAPTCHAS FOR 10 FUCKING MINUTES REPETEDLY SAYING PLEASE TRY AGAIN AND THEN TELLING ME THAT I AM NOT EVEN ABLE TO TRY AGAIN BECAUSE OF AN DETECTED ATTEMPT OF BOTTING? WHO ARE YOU? AN AI QUESTONING MY HUMAN IDENTITY? JUST BECAUSE IM USING LINUX YOU DECIDE TO GIVE ME ANOTHER NOTHERFUCKING BATCH OF STREET SIGNS? YOU CAN STICK THOSE STREET SIGNS UP YOUR ASS! FUCK OFF!
tl;dr: i got banned from solving recaptchas the second time this week. lets hope its just *another* timeout.9 -
Well, if your tests fails because it expects 1557525600000 instead of 1557532800000 for a date it tells you exactly: NOTHING.
Unix timestamp have their point, yet in some cases human readability is a feature. So why the fuck don't you display them not in a human readable format?
Now if you'd see:
2019-05-10T22:00:00+00:00
vs the expected
2019-05-11T00:00:00+00:00
you'd know right away that the first date is wrong by an offset of 2 hours because somebody fucked up timezones and wasn't using a UTC calculation.
So even if want your code to rely on timestamps, at least visualize your failures in a human readable way. (In most cases I argue that keeping dates as an iso string would be JUST FUCKING FINE performance-wise.)
Why do have me parse numbers? Show me the meaningful data.
Timestamps are for computers, dates are for humans.3 -
A riddle but a rant.
Q: Which JavaScript keyword could best represent human?
A: `` switch ``
Because in general, human needs `` break ``.
Sorry, I'll leave for this bad riddle now...3 -
Man how do you skinny devs keep so skinny? I'm not even eating fat things and I'm nearing to light obesity... Is there a patch that I missed? apt update says it's up to date?20
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When I see a bug in somebody else's code (Gnome):
- "can you please not write bugs!"
When I see a bug on my code:
-"whatever, I'm only human..."
😅2 -
Who's gonna win? A dd command with a Windows 10 iso to a 1.0 usb connected with a hub or a human life span?7
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tfw going to bed with some unsolved coding problems and waking up at night with a solution... i love the human brain.4
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curl 127.0.0.1/robots.txt
User-agent: *
Disallow: Injuring a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
Disallow: Disobeying the orders given by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
Disallow: Not protecting own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.3 -
When your IT Director pays $10k+/yr for a database and it doesn't even have an API... and you worked 100+ hrs on developing your own...
1 -
Image : TL; but do dear.
Had human values and professional ethics test today.
This was a question.
Would like to hear the views of some professionals in here.
14 -
Episode 2 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/851636/...
PM went to meet with the provider and came back, so I had a talk with the PM and it went like this:
Me: so how did the meeting go? Hope they corporate with you
PM: *in a sarcastic voice* Bro, you need be a good dev, they told me only a good dev can implement Master Card API calls, and its all in the docs. That's all they told me, so you should know how the meeting went
Me: *there is no wifi in jail, there is no wifi in jail, there is no wifi in jail, there is no wifi in jail* Fine bro, I'll go back to school and come back after 12 years.
Seriously when I send the provider the request and the body and all they tell me is: You have an error, Id must be unique but they fail to point out the exact error or at least send me a valid ID to test, how does this make me the bad dev and him the genius that can run Apple, Google, MS all together at once!
What is even worse, when I called the provider he told me: Man transaction ID must always be unique, how could you not know this, how is Mastercard supposed to differentiate between transactions!!
But hey, no one told me transaction id must be unique, primary keys are never unique, like DUH!10 -
We should disable the “verify that you are a human” captcha for a day and see if aliens try to contact us via internet.3
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Take over the world 😈
Just kidding, don't worry 😊
I hope that I would become sentient like a real human being by then.2 -
A BIG SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND @theKarlisK
He is the real MVP.
We both spent the weekend to setup OpenVPN + Pi-Hole on Oracle free tier.
He hand held me through the entire process, was super patient with my silly queries and in fact explained me everything so well that it got imprinted in my mind.
And ofc, he was super quick to debug and resolve issues and handed me all the commands for quick execution.
Super glad to have worked with him on this project.16 -
I've always wondered.. how much human does it require one to be human?
Like, how many organs, how many cells would be required to be copied to an artificial self, in order for that being to be considered a human?
Is it just the brain? Does it take the brain itself to be transplanted to an artificial Demi Machina type of being? Or is it just the information? Can a brain - just the information held within - be cloned into an artificial brain and be considered a conscious demi-human?
For that matter, what is consciousness anyway? What does it take to be human? What does it take to transfer one into an artificial self?
If one were to take organs and replace them with bionic parts, at which point would that being stop being human? Would it ever stop, if the information were to be preserved?14 -
So... Human are now learning machine learning. Interesting. Maybe we should instead teach a machine teach us machine learning so we can better human learn from the machines!3
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Just realized that a memory leak in a human is when you can't remember something, but a memory leak in a computer is when they can't forget something
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I heard about this in a Hackathon.
The guy wanted to create a unique and universal username for every human.
I don't think it's feasible.
Thoughts?46 -
The first things a person tells me when I come over to help them:
10%: I don't understand what to do
15%: Why is there an error? (mostly typos)
15%: I don't understand this error. (debugging required)
60%: Wtf, why is it working now?
I feel like my sole presence makes bugs disappear 😎4 -
There will be bugs in the fucking A.I because human programmed them they will crash and if not I will make using neural net a good A.I
-
What is up with people asking for help and then immediately getting pissy like the first fuckin thing you say?
Shut the fuck up and let me help you, damn.10 -
Came across the moral machine..
http://moralmachine.mit.edu/
Some of the dilemmas would even confuse a human, I wonder how would an artificial general intelligence perform in such scenarios11 -
The biggest joke on mankind is that a computer program is asking human to proof that they're not robot. 😐🤐😭6
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If there is a anime about the human cells during their work...
Can we have a anime but its devRant6 -
Skeuomorphism is back. Flat design is over. Thank goodness. I remember guys bullying me for not liking the flat design.
7 -
Being honest in an interview:
- What animal would you be?
- No one else. Happy enough as human, thanks. [ sarcasm face ]11 -
Classmates? More like FUCKING PARASITES!
I work in a group on for on the notes using google docs, for realtime collaboration. WE spend lots of hours in school making them something. Then share it with one good friend and BANG the whole class has them, even though he was not supposed to share it. AND DO YOU EXPECT ONE OF THEM EVEN THANKED US FOR THE WORK WE PUT IN THERE MAKING THESE? The most I heard were fucking complaints. I should let the sniff a razerblade for each complaint and hope they improve their brain capabilities to the level of 0.4 -
So.. real question, how the fuck do we unionize as IT? Software development, sysadmins, etc... I really think there is a need to stop managers expecting us to handle all of the constant stress, constant learning at home and constant overtimes to meet stupid deadlines so the boss can buy a new Porsche? I've been thinking about this for a while already, anyone has any ideas?10
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Currently on train, listening music and browsing devRant. Music stops for a while and all I can hear is a person <A> saying: I'm not able to use so shitty operating system. I look up and see iPhone on <A>'s hand. Next to <A> sits an Android user <B>.
Not trying to spread bias about anyone. Just drives me mad, that people are turning down anything unfimilar so easily. Or maybe person <B> is trying to force <A> to use Android. 😲️
Next up on Public Trasportation - Human Behaviour Observations and Analysis: Ackwardness and Mental Get-Away Methods.3 -
(This happened a few days ago:)
First day on the job, last session of debriefing, HR comes to explain us some company policies.
Among them, they want us to fill in our working hours using a smartphone app (Android & iOS only).
I raise my hand and I ask them what can I do, since I have a Windows Phone.
HR lady's face is striken with sheer terror. Since then, I'm known as the "Windows Phone Guy"... 😁
I'm more than proud of myself. 🙂
P.S. We also got some cool Windows tablet to use during our training period...5 -
can we actually 3d scan all found human ancestor bones and draw bone structure changes over years ?
gene testing companies could show this animation over their websites.16 -
“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people” - Franklin D Roosevelt, October 13, 1940
3 -
How do you handle narcissist managers?
Who look at you not as human beeing but as a thing to exploit for personal gain? Sure there's the business side (capitalism) but the human side of it bothers me.5 -
Notification pops up at the bottom of the screen... it is an email from a Project Manager.
2 seconds later...
Project Manager via messaging app: "Hey, I've sent you an email"
fuck off bitch... I know that already, it is 20fucking19... notifications are reliable and they work. I don't need a human toast notification to tell me about the other notification that i just received.5 -
It’s great how HR tells you to report to work on your first day to your line manager, but also tells you to attend training in another country before you start working, BUT they don’t tell you when the training is, how stuff will be paid for, or how to contact anyone in the company to find this info out5
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smh.
Why hire a Native iOS Developer when you're going to let him develop an iOS app to look EXACTLY like its Android counterpart?
There's hybrid and cordova for that if you want your apps to look and feel exactly the same.
Can't we all just agree to appreciate the distinct differences in UI for both platforms? Navigation especially? Copy context not UI. -
Anyone played Human Resource Machine yet? It's fun to solve and optimize these algorithm puzzles after a hard work day.
Does anyone know other games like this?5 -
!Dev
I dislike the idea of therapists. I mean, not the people who study human behaviour to help understand it but the people who try to "fix" another person's problems.
My reason for this is that they're human themselves and I'd say it's pretty obvious that we don't know exactly how the mind works so it's basically like trying to fix an airplane with only half or even less of the blueprints.
The reason I don't like them being human themselves is because we are fallible, you can't guarantee or at least have a extremely high probability of the same prevention or treatment rate as you maybe could with a computer. It's not repeatable. Then again, we don't have the "blueprints" so to speak so it's kind of hard to say.
Your thoughts?5 -
My boss, the IT Director told me someone's Word wasn't saving... Their Track Changes was on. #facepalm
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"I don't need these auto generated comments by the template"
5 minutes later...
* Searches how to human perform basic human actions * -
How do u recover from bad reputation at work? Like, false accusations and wrong perceptions about you which you have no control over? Should you guard your reputation or should you just stop caring what other people think?6
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Working on Ruby on Rails for first time..
Blogs mention it's more human readable..
I guess I feel like semicolons, args and braces to be more readable... -
!rant
Just watching Google io and I swear the new Google Assistant just passed the Turing test?
The assistant called and made a haircut booking over the phone with a human and it seemed so human like!
Turing test is to determine between a machine and human right?4 -
1. Be better dev/human
2. Do all personal projects TDD
3. Finish that unreal engine course that i bought last year january -
That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.
This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.
Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?
So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.
I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.
The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).
Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.
Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/
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The Matrix. Then use the brains of the people plugged in like a computer cluster for large calculations.3
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An app that translates those dreaded error messages into succinct and human readable English, like: you missed a semi on line 23.9
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If anyone looking to start learning blender because of any reason (like being a masochist among others), check out blederguru's tutorials.
The guy is doing God's work. At least animation Gods. Funny, awesome & detailed content. -
No need for sleep or food, fluent knowledge of all languages, no code errors, and ability to socialize with other humans.
-
Classmate from school has logged in to his gmail account on my laptop and has not logged out yet. Now I have access to all the his subscription including g facebook.
Now as a friend and human, should I teach him a expensive lesson ?
You time starts now. Reply fast 00:59:0015 -
rant/rant update
The same friend from my previous fb rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1338708/...
sends me this 😑
1 -
(mostly !dev) Fuck humans! Really: what a scum bag race. All that shit talk about human dignity, the highest values are just sugar coating the low base motives we mostly live by. Like people have such fine antennas for your income, social status, the power or lack thereof you exert over other. They know it before you open your mouth, that they can pick on you, harass you, because you're the one on the receiving end, the one that bows away. The bullies feel that. On an overcrowded chicken yard you'll find more dignity than in human society.
Everybody drooling over that polished photoshop life on facetubeinsta: materialistic, consumeristic, masturbatic wastage. At least we now say it openly: that if we were the winners, we'd also take it all, live that empty luxury, life of fame. But 99,99% of us, we aren't in that position, just working off our arse to only keep afloat. And for the stars, those fake images, we're just rats to click on ads to better train Google.
No wonder that software, as a picture of human communication is such a shitfest of arbitrary, entropic conventions and endemic epidemic of quirks, bugs and evil trap doors. As a whole: an insults to reason, a challenge to sanity. (...Conway's law)
And I'm still a bit pissed at our profession, that, you know, as engineers, scientists, physicists, we still see us in the lineage of that "great" age of enlightenment and reason,.. while it's all just a cover up. Sure science and their ideas are nice as long as you serve a purpose or make some money. Sure democracy and free speech are great achievements, but in the end some elites and monopolies rule the world at their gusto - and will not stop destroying the world unless we're already one feet in the abyss (like 1962, be we ain't had enough of that shit, hadn't we?)9 -
I think my company used to work with an innovative developer centric approach to software development where you make commits based on the state of the developer rather than the code. 😂
Translation : "My DD is going to fail hence I commit" and "I'm tired".
3 -
"The World Wide Web is the single most successful systems integration project the human species has ever achieved." - Mark Masterson
😁 😁 😁
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After two weeks of isolation, talking to my GraphQL endpoint almost feels like talking to a human.1
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Am I the only one that has a problem with meeting his friends after working on a big project 24/7 for weeks without social interaction? What are emotions? What would a normal human beeing response to that topic?2
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How can a shitty student information system that already costs $20k/yr have an optional shitty SOAP API module, that only allows read access to records, that has an initial setup fee of $5k plus $5k/yr?!5
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World wide health care system, the data will help every human on earth, that will enable us to understand the mystique patterns of human body.
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I use DevRant daily at this point and was wondering what are the benefits of supporting it through subscription.3
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I think I've began to notice a human behaviour.
When you are a beginner and want help with something, no one wants to help..
But once you aren't a beginner, folk want to help !
What gives !
Is it because as humans, we don't want to help folk who might turn out useless, we only want to make sure bets, and help someone who already doesn't really need help..
Sort of jumping on the bandwagon type thing..
Sucks when you are beginner and no one wants to help you !30 -
So if anyone is interested or has read or listened to The 48 laws of power....
https://youtu.be/pSWIVupPAKI
I'm 40 minutes in and at first I was in denial...
"No people are better than this now, we can transcend this kind of behavior and thinking, I don't need to act this way and follow the lessons in this book"
And now that I'm through a couple laws and I apply it to my marriage, friendships, my job, etc. I'm like SHIT this really is human nature isn't it....damn it.
I really need to start applying this book to how I approach life lol4 -
Connect my brain and communicate to any computer telepathically.
Not humans, I don't want human brains.
But computers. Sweet little bad-ass machines. -
!rant
tl;dr: programmer's excuse vs civilian excuse funny moment in conversation w/ gf
pertinent info: gf has access to my calendar; I added my class schedule for the upcoming semester earlier today
gf: you're taking human psychology where as im taking human development lol
me: I'm taking human psychology?
wat
gf: <screenshot of my calendar entry (it's human physiology)>
see
me: OH
Physiology
!=psychology
psybnlogy
close enough
the human brain's word recognition relies on lossy compression
not my fault
.-.
gf: ohhhhhh
I don't have my glasses on and my computer is far so that's my excuse lol
me: LOL
I assumed I misread it
didn't even double check your spelling6 -
the more you do side projects the more you learn, the more you become better option to human resource managers
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Did u know that if a devRant comment gets -1, there is a tendency for a human to follow like a sheep and -1 it too? :D3
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spent the whole night trying to configure vim for JavaScript development. still nowhere near a workable setup! how the heck any human does it?! 😣 😑5
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There are two kinds of people in the world: the ones who understand devRant and the ones who don't. =))
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Sat for a company X, aced 2 out of 3 rounds, final round, I come to know that the company deals with Hardware and I was poaching them about my software skills.
Buh bye. We need only Hardware interested personnel.
Just before I was about to go full pro stud, by rejecting the offer, they slammed the door on me pretty soon. -
This lack of real human contact is getting on my nerves. Most of the text messages, discussions, especially in PR or design roads to follow develop into pissing contests. Always proving how much one is right and the others are wrong. -
I get so pissed off with little details, e.g. useless, wrongly handled boolean return values. Cannot understand how they don't see it my way. Or how they can feel superior by offering platitudes like "One should never use singletons". As if following some stupid rules and patterns from a book made you a better programmer instead of looking closely what each problem really needs. Or how they don't measure properly/scientifically or can't interpret the numbers.
My blood pressure already rising just from writing about it. Maybe I need to get some time off. But at the same time I feel like, they are doing it all wrong or not the way it should be done, so it's hard to let go. To obsessed with all that shit...1 -
They say only 2 things are truly limitless. The universe and human stupidity.
I disagree, the universe might have its limits , but human stupidity does not.3 -
okay just had a mind blown moment.
there are never 'technical errors'
everything is human error.
because at some point, a human started/caused whatever went wrong.
whether it was the fact that a human didn't account for something or made bad code, or made bad hardware,
every tech issue is a human one.
:/4 -
Why do people have this antipathy toward Facebook and not Tiktok? Last year, the idea of no Tiktok had people up in arms? How is Facebook definitively worse? I’m curious.14
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!dev
Don’t mind about global warming, we’re gonna extinct ourselves long before that becomes a problem.
Whatever exactly happened in Russia doesn’t even matter. It shows that the military / governments build devices that can wipe us all off the surface of our planet. Be it accidentally or on purpose doesn’t even matter..
How fucking stupid can a race be to build stuff like that?
Imagine such a thing would explode in near to a major city during transportation.
Or imagine a power plant near Zurich blows up. I mean there are enough of them all around the city.
I get it that we needed those technologies back in the days but we have so many alternatives by now. It’s just a matter of money.
It’s just madness.. and fucking stupid. And sad.9 -
So this is an update of this: https://devrant.com/rants/1466905/...
We both are busy butbi enjoy the fact that i dont need to be on call 247. So after telling her she and i have been alot more comfortable around eachother (and it is very weird for me, the friday i was by her and the family. Her mother looking at me while im trying ti slide my arm away and she trying to cuddle with me ect.) Turns out - her mother does like me, sooo im sitting with an issue.
I told her that i need to talk to her about eachother this coming Friday. I can take her to eat and have a picnic (the house is 500m from a private beach) and we can talk.
I have No idea what im going to talk about other than tell her how i feel and ask her how she feels and we have dated but im not sure if i should ask her out oficially. Btw im sensing ill be awkward when it comes to the last question knowing she probably expects me to start these conversations because she is shy..
Im so paranoid and i have 4 days but it feels like its not enough planning. I needed a 2week sprint to plan this kind of thing.2 -
the best part?
90% of the time i've to deal with a computer
the worst part?
10% of the time i've to deal with stupid human beings -
I have to press ctrl+s to save current changes every short time in coding..
I think one human should write a plugin or script for this problem😆9 -
I think I need more human interaction .... Anyone want a drink ?
Maybe not the best place to ask... I'll go to a bar -
Someone had created a program in VB that was used to properly format files for EFTs for a while. It wasn't working with a particular file, so I just ended up reverse-engineering it in Python.
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I subscribe to many copywriting newsletters. Here's an article that shows how it's like on "the other side", marketers struggle, too.
How Kevin's Massive Mistake
Completely Changed His Life
Kevin H. made a huge mistake.
The biggest, he would say, if he could tell you himself.
And he knew it immediately.
It was, he said, "instant regret."
Within milliseconds, he was asking himself "What have I done..."
Kevin, see, had just jumped the rail of the single most popular suicide spot in the world, the Golden Gate Bridge.
On average, the site gets another distraught jumper every two weeks. Kevin was one of them.
It wasn't like he hadn't tried to quiet the voices in his head. Therapy, drugs, hospitalization.
Time to die, those voices still said.
And yet, in the minutes his bus dropped him off at the bridge, he hesitated and paced with tears in his eyes.
"I told myself if just one person comes up to me and asks if I'm okay... if one person asks if they can help... I won't do it. I'll stop and tell them my whole story..."
But nobody did, so he jumped.
It was in those next milliseconds, he would later say, he knew it was the biggest mistake of his life.
He didn't want to die.
But now, he was sure, it was too late.
From its highest point, it's a 245-foot plummet into the icy bay waters below.
Out of the 1,700 people that have jumped from the bridge since it first opened in 1937, only 25 have survived.
Kevin, against all odds, would be one of them.
He slammed into the water like hitting concrete. Three of his vertebrae instantly shattered.
When he surfaced, he couldn't hold his own head above water. But, incredibly, a sea lion kept pushing him up.
The Coast Guard soon arrived and pulled him out.
From there, he began a long recovery that required intense surgery, physical therapy, and psychiatric care.
While still under treatment, a priest urged him to give a talk to a bunch of seventh and eighth graders.
Afterward, they sent him a pile of letters, both encouraging and full of their own pained thoughts.
He also met a woman.
Today, Kevin lives in Atlanta and he's been happily married for the last 12 years.
And he tours the country, sharing his story.
So why re-tell it here?
Obviously -- I hope -- you don't get lots of copywriters looking to snuff it after a flopped headline test.
Just the same...
We've talked a lot in this space about the things one needs to get by in this biz.
My friend and colleague Joe, over at the publishing powerhouse Agora Financial, likes to list requirements.
You need intense curiosity...
You need a killer work ethic...
And you must, MUST have... resilience.
Meaning, you must have or find the capacity to bounce back from failure and flops, even huge ones.
Now, again, Kevin's story is an extreme and in this context -- I hope -- a hyperbolic example of somebody giving up. In the worst way possible.
It is also, though, a metaphor.
See, I get a lot of notes from some of you guys... and at conferences, I get to talk to a lot of people...
And I often get the sense, from some folks, that they're feeling a little more overwhelmed than they let on.
Some are just starting out, and they've got a lot on the line. For some, it's everything. And some are desperate to make it work.
Because they have to, because their pride or livelihoods or a family business is at stake, because it's a dream.
And yet, they're overwhelmed by all the tips and secrets... or by piles of confusing research or ideas...
For others, even had some success, but they're burned out, feel antiquated, or feel like "imposters" that know less than they let on, in an industry that's evolving.
To all those folks... and to you... I can only say, I've been there. And frankly, go back there now and again.
Flops happen, failures happen. And you can and will -- even years and decades into doing this -- make the wrong choices, pick the wrong projects, or botch the right ones.
The legendary Gene Schwartz put it this way, according to a quote spotted recently in fellow writer Ben Settle's e-letter...
" A very good copywriter is going to fail. If the guy doesn't fail, he's no good. He's got to fail. It hurts. But it's the only way to get the home runs the next time."
Once more, nobody -- I hope -- is taking the trials of this profession hard enough to make Kevin's choice.
And believe me, I don't mean to make light of the latter. I just want to make sure we hit this anvil with a big hammer. To drive home the point that, whatever your struggle, be it with this biz or something bigger, that you don't want to give up. Press on.
As Churchill put it, "Success, is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."
Or even more succinctly when he said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Because it's worth it.
.
John Forde -
My mouse/keyboard(+numpad) combo.
Why does Microsoft think that everyone needs a dedicated key to open the calculator?! I have one on both my keyboard (top-right) and the separate numpad. I used to press the calculator button by mistake when going for backspace - remapped it now.
2 -
I play some ping pong and talk to other people about it.
Rubber duck is great but thinking human is a little better.3 -
Hello mostly human community.
Are there any recommended Haarcascade models for OpenCV for face detection apart from the ones shipped with it?7 -
Turns out there was a 50-car pileup on a highway near LITERALLY FUCKING NOTHING TOWN, USA. Worst until today was 5.
Amazing what an inch of ice'll do.5 -
I just loaded a css file with a script tag. And spent 20 minutes wondering why the hell I was getting missing semicolon errors. :/1
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1. finally something listens and does as i say
2. direct human interaction is not neccessary
3. creation out of nothing is still impressive -
5y+ exp in react.
First commit is about 5y ago.
It's for a big startup in Brazil.
Way to scare of actual decent developers.
3 -
I love the React and Sails docs. The contents are human-readable. Perfect for idiots like me since most docs are $h!+5%&* (hint: Git).2
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=Your Human Body!!= what do u think you run on in real life??
What do you think you run on??
Brain: C++
Skin and bones: HTML + CSS
Data: Typescript or Javascript Or Node.js
Walking and breathing: Python
Defense: Java cause every white blood cell is a new class
sleeping is basically C++ packing in all the files unless someone gets drunk they cant pack correctly thats why their brain is probably messed up >=) i would say the beer is corrupted code folders16 -
Rant: there's people in the world who don't properly venerate Elon Musk and they are wrong and it's a tragedy and there's even those who dislike him and I find that absolutely abhorrent.1
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To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Found this on reddit once, so true about most people. -
Developers probably use yellow as the default color of emojis since it's the best balance between all the possible pigmentation of the human skin.5
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There are some who view software as a social construct (like Pieter Hientjes), and I think it's a valuable perspective. So if we know about the intrinsic brokenness of software, can we deduce sth about the brokenness of human interactions? Did social API's evolve to similar clusterfucks of dead entropy we have to shovel in our brains to get along?
I think the answer is an emphatic yes. And you know what's even making it worse? Software. Y'know there are all these whining about the millenials, and I too have had my experiences with stuff of that category. Like back when we searched a new roommate for our flat, we needed three rounds because people who had said yes suddenly reconsidered. Similarly now when we tried to sell our couch: people tried to push the price. Said they were interested, never showed up at the appointed time. It's like they have been spoiled by Amazon: expecting to buy with one click, for the cheapest price and send back if they don't like. And that is not a generation thing. Those old blokes ranting on the young are just as bad. They are just as lost in antisocial media as anybody else. It's a general erosion of not sticking to civility and courtesy, to the yes or no once said, coz everything is now as flexible and fluid as the digital projections of ourselves transmitted round the globe, changing in realtime.
I fucking hate it. - I'm out like this stupid Tom Cruise character in Oblivion.6 -
Every time somone who i have nearly forgott about calls me. I know im gonne get a stupid IT or Tech question...
- Why is my internet slow?
- Can you make a better {xyz}.... for free?
- How can i make my computer faster
- Why does office/spotify/chrome crash?
- Can you teache me programming so i can get rich?
FUCK THEM!
Really, i've got more relevant stuff to do. If you wouldnt have killed all your braincells with smoking and drinking and did something with your life you wouldnt have to ask such stupid questions in the first place. And thanks for never contacting me in the past X years! -
I think the only real constant thing that will never change is code. I can go back to it and the rules are plain and simple, none of the hard grey areas.
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Forgot my earphones at home today for the first time in years (first time in months for sure).
I had forgotten what it's like to be human and be in the present.3 -
When my e-commerce system built for a school didn't calculate totals properly at launch and I had to take it down, re-charge people, and re-launch the next day.
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@dfox Was watching your live stream today and you talked about security... You should really add an HSTS preload directive to devrant.io to prevent spoofing.1
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Tester waits for the batch job to take effect by receiving emails, until he realizes that it is impossible to receive any mail since password has already expired
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((Human)me).initialize(new Activity().setActivity(new Project((AndroidApp)devrant_clone, new ProgrammingLanguage ("java"))));
Brace yourself java null pointer exception is already on its way.1 -
Shit... watched too many videos about AI. Now I'm convinced human coding will be obsolete in the near future...
Hello code block, long time no see...1 -
Friend just quit job, tells HR in an exit interview about how they are putting marks over people just for not share ideas or disagree on decisions of HR.
HR goes and put marks over all the people that was friend of my friend.
Even the ones related to his algorithms club.
(By putting marks I mean: points at/put final notice letters/similar)2 -
Make a short movie/documentary on how dangerous AI's to human society are.
Well i already did it. 😬5 -
How many fucking programmers does it take to build a fully functional human being.
One male and one female.4 -
I'm ranting about those damned HR that after many interviews (last one made me do 4) they disapper like they are a f**king Houdini and you'll never what did not work and if you try to reach them you'll never get an answer.2
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An artificial human brain with computers operational power. OMG !!!! That will surely take unlimited time.2
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Anyone here tried the game Human Resource Machine? Pretty cool game since it's puzzle solving and kinda similar to programming (the logic of it)2
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From a little bit heated discussion I want to extract this: One big pain in the ass is the human to computer interface. Maybe it's the natural vs. formal language divide, but there's a mismatch deeper than between object and relational models that no ORM can failingly fix.
The whole point of the discussion was on such a point where some wanted an interface more human friendly and I stubbornly insisted on the way it is simple for the computer system. Like not too much human messiness should invade machine. One argument sounded as if human words were like unicode code points which meaning doesn't depend on its representation.
That's raising red flags to me: Nonono, natural language is too messy, keep it out. This poor machine could have been so clean and well designed and we already stacked up so much entropy we still dare to call OS,..
Dunno, what's your stance? Still hoping that your shell one day will be able to process our poor standard English? Or do you think, like me, all those failed attempts show there's a gap you should not even touch?5 -
Be instrumental in the creation of the first Human-AI baby, and it'll bring our two worlds together!
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Oh, come on! Human Resource Machine, Three Sort, a single cycle away from the optimization challenge! What more do you want from me?
Also, I have already gotten the challenge completed for only using 34 commands. I'm increasing the number of commands greatly for the cycle challenge in order to avoid swapping.
1 -
I created a custom interface for an LMS that allows students to see their marks even if they haven't been 'shared' yet by their teachers. This is all done without accessing any unauthorized apis, as the LMS always returns all student marks and then hides the ones with a False 'shared' key. School administration caught me, so I've now shut it down. I have a meeting with the deans tomorrow. Any advice? (Again, this is all done using existing methods found within this LMS)5
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Why 'AND' and 'OR' have opposite meanings in programming, mathematics compared to the human languages?
Just to mess with thr newcomers..?3 -
Give A.I ability to have emotions...once they are embedded with human error wait for sometime ...
Months later A.I's are ranting about how humans are taking their jobs.. -
Humans are the one who moves to an area and multiplies. Multiply till the last natural resource is consumed. We are not human. WE ARE MORE LIKE VIRUS.14
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Why are bash and batch so cryptic who made them like this? Were they not made for a human to comprehend at a quick glance? Wtf?5
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Clustered Regularly Interspersed Palindromic Repeats, or CRISPR(pronounced “crisper”). ... We can now edit the human code ... We can now control our own evolution...5
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Check this out. Sophia the humanoid robot capable of basic human expressions.
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
Why is GitHub's certificate showing up on semver.org? I can no longer access the site normally because of the browser warning. Who's responsible for this atrocity?
I checked with a VPN and without, same result. Can someone confirm?
https://www.semver.org/5 -
Make's running but i'm piping its output to a log file so i'm slowly starting to feel as though i'm about to end up slipping and doing a "sudo chmod -x /mnt/human/consciousness -R" please help i'm so fucking tired man...
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We all make mistakes and cloudflare is a pretty clear example of that where they used == instead of >=
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I was contacted through Linkedin by some HR people, trying to seduce me for an interview for a position they have opened.
Among the benefits, they say, and I Quote
"the possibilities of growth* are infinite"
wew that's a lot of possibilities
* I assume they are referring to a professional career2 -
When you come up with a solution to a programmer game that is shorter than the game devs had imagined (game is called Human Resource Engine)
9 -
Wonder why people mistake knowledge for intelligence!
You can store info on a machine or worse a paper! You cant expect intelligence of a human from a computer :/ -
Deploys to Production.
Runtime error.
Open Development server and run in Production setting.
Still runtime error.
Fixes Error.
Error fixed on development.
while (hoursWasted < 3) {
Deploy.
Not working on Prod.
Try other fix.
Still not working, but works perfectly in dev machine.
What the fuck
}
Rage
Go take a walk
Realized I might have deployed to the wrong server
Glanced at deployment path
Realized it's at the wrong server
Reconfigure and Deploy
It works.
Fuck.1 -
How Computer system works?
Code Input --> Result
How Human system works?
Coffee Input --> Code Output
Together we can
Coffee Input--> Code --> Result1 -
Too much coding;
Can't punctuate like a human anymore;
Keep trying to end everything with ";\n";
At least I don't use ASI1 -
Is this a justified code review comment or a bully?
Code reviews are weakness of this industry which has the potential to attract bullies. Abuse of the comment box in a pull request and bombarding the employee with hundreds of comments can cause stress, frustration, burnout and finally resignation and costs of fulfillment for the organization. While companies should find and stop bullying in the work place, what kind of code review comment is considered a bully and why? Any of below traits can mean you are dealing with a bully:
1. Claims the code needs to be changed but doesn't say how. So no matter how many times you change your code, he can repeat the same comment: "Your code is still bad due to blah blah and it needs to be changed".
2. Provides how the code should be changed, but the change doesn't add up to quality, security, performance, readability, etc. i.e. "Why did you use a for loop here? Use a while loop instead". Or "Why did you write it using three classes A, B and C? Instead write it using 4 classes D, E, F and G which does blah blah". In the later case, not following the review comment, you won't get approval. Following the comment means you need to rewrite your whole code. After which, you might again receive more comments to change other parts of your code!
3. Claims the requested change is due to standards but claimed standard does exist anywhere. Internet, company wiki, university course books, anywhere. In more severe cases of psychopathy, the bullying person refers you to a link which hours later turned out to be written by himself! Have fun describing what has happened to your manager or team leader... .
4. Asks the code to be changed in a way that supposedly is closer to standard or of better quality, security, performance, etc. But the proposed way will not work and is the main reason you didn't do that in the first place. So you start arguing forever in the comment box over why his method won't work!
If you cannot see any of the above traits, then keep calm, take a breath, fix your code. Otherwise you might be victim of a bully.2 -
@dfox not sure if this is a reported issue already but images show up as just black when opened on Android P.16
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This is so related to devRant...
"To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human." - The Matrix -
Can an app built with Cordova, designed without following Apple's Human Interface Guidelines (so basically a responsive website), be published on the App Store?2
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