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Dear life,
When I say, 'how hard can life get!', please understand it's a rhetorical question.
Yours faithful,
Frustrated and hopeless human.7 -
Dad: why do these forms ask me to fill those random characters(captcha)
Me: to verify that you are human
Dad: as if animals can use computers
Me: 😅7 -
Something which I felt inspirational.. As a programmer or as a Human being, it's our duty to teach others what we know well !
(My Personal opinion)
40 -
iOS: Hey, human wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
iOS: Out of Memory.
Me: What?
iOS: I ain't explaining shit.2 -
Google: "Please prove you're a human."
Me: "Hello Google, I'm human!"
Google: "Prove you're a human..."
Me: *Stabbing my finger and dripping blood on the computer*
Google "Prove you're a human!!"
Me: *Crying, laughing, expressing feelings*
Google: "Prove you're a human I said!!!"
Me: "4527"
Google:" Thank you."4 -
The programmer who killed people: Not so talented programmer named John, made a mistake in his code. because of this mistake the program users spent 15 minutes to do a workaround. this program had 10 million users. In general the users spent 150 million minutes because of john's mistake, which is 2.5 million hours. if a person sleeps about 8 hours a day, he have 16 active hours. which means john wasted 156,250 human days that equals to 427.8 human years. people leave approx. until the age of 64, that means John just killed 6.68 people because of his bug. So john, how do you sleep at night?10
-
Heard this from a young lady today in the train while she was talking on phone:
"Software guys has the easiest job of all. All they do is sit in front of the computer and does stuff. That doesn't challenge you does it? No offence, I mean I'm not trying to offend anybody blah blah blah...."
Ummm Sorry lady I think you just offended thousands of people although you tried your best not to offend them.32 -
Coworker: "Hey do you have 30 minutes? We should debug my broken code together."
Me: *slightly interested in the project he's working on* "Sure, let's do it."
Coworker: *explains the problem for 10 mins*
Me: "Maybe--"
Coworker: "OH here's the problem!" *type type type* *git commit -am 'Fixed'* "Done."
Me: *wants 10 minutes of life back*9 -
A human cell has 75MB of DNA information, a sperm cell has half A human cell has 75MB of DNA of it 37.5MB, a milliliter of semen has 100 million sperm cels, on average, a ejaculation lasts 5 seconds and has 2.24 milliliters of Semen.
That means a man is able to produce: 37.5MB x 100,000, 000 x 2.25/5 = 1.687.500,000.000.000 bytes/sec 1,6875 Terabytes/sec;
That means a ovule is able to recive a dDOS attack of 1,6 terabytes per second and only lets one package pass, making it THE BEST FIREWALL IN THE WORLD6 -
My interviews to hire a Junior Dev will begin this week. Here's how its gonna go down.
Me: Star Trek or Star Wars?
My Supervisor: WTF? How is that relevant?
Human Resources: Let's see what he says.
Applicant: Battlestar Galactica
Me: Nice. I can deal with that.
Me: Tabs or spaces when indenting your code?
Supervisor: ... ?
Human Resources : ...
Applicant: Spaces.
Me: GTFO you imbecile! Next!28 -
- Beautiful beach ✔️
- Delicious food ✔️
- Wikipedia blocked ✔️
- GitHub partly blocked ✔️
- Human right to knowledge is violated ✔️
- Circumvent censorship using multihop VPN ✔️
20 -
WTF Python!!! "Master" and "Slave" perfectly convey the concept. In the English language many words have different meanings based on their context. It's plainly obvious that no allusion to human slavery is meant in the context of software or hardware module relationships. I don't even think it is problematic. The real problem seems to be the people who are taking terms outside their intended space. Why are we linking a scar on human history to terminologies explaining technical relationships?
Then lets also ban 0 and 1 because it can offends non-binary peoples!
22 -
It was great to see Gitlab not only being transparent, but also being so empathetic towards the employee and not bashing them at all. Instead they said the more things you do the more mistakes you make. And the system/process should have contingency so that human mistakes have some tolerance margins.
That is a great workplace! -
When you've convinced a good number of your colleagues to try out Protonmail then you find out later that they're not using it anymore because it doesn't support the Gmail Android app 😬😬😬
Even if it's supported, WHAT THE FUCK is the point of using e2e encrypted email if you're accessing it using 3rd party apps?
12 -
If I learned every spoken and dead language ever created in human history, I still wouldn't have enough swear words to describe how much I loathe SharePoint.5
-
There is this guy at work we call 'the human linter'
Despite his mad clean codes skills: light theme
Dafuq dude :(13 -
So yesterday I became an actual human rubber duck!
So I have a colleague in my team that for weird reasons is not allowed to work with the same thing as the other colleagues in the team is allowed to work with. So she´s kind of alone, working on another project, and that seems to suck really hard.
And this is how I became a human rubber duck. She asked me a couple of questions about a technology/language I´ve never touched before and I told her I never worked with that technology or language and know nothing. But she was eager to get me over to take a look at what she meant.
So I came over to her screen and she started to tell me everything about the project, the technology and the language. I soon realized she wasn´t only looking for help, she was probably feeling alone in the work she was doing and just needed someone to talk to. So I took my role as the human rubber duck and sat down to listen to everything even though I almost didn´t understand anything.
I think it actually helped her even though I did nothing.
Being a human rubber duck felt good!
7 -
This is getting infectious now.. It is spreading to human languages.. We have to do something real quick..
61 -
Human: "Why did you buy an old iPhone?"
Me: "Mostly for cross-platform development"
*Apparently that was not the answer they were expecting*6 -
It's funny, whenever the subject of facebook vs privacy comes up (mostly I don't even initiate those convo's), people always start to defend facebook when I say that I THINK that facebook is build to get people addicted to it and get them to stay on facebook as long as possible.
Haha, one of facebook's early investers/ex facebook presidents said the following in an interview:
“It’s a social-validation feedback loop, exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
So even an ex president of facebook is admitting this.
I also found the folloing a good one:
The underlying thought process while creating platforms like Facebook or Instagram is something like “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?”
Last but not least, the part I found the most scary:
“God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”
Yes, I find this scary.
Oh yeah and for the people who are going to call bullshit on this one, I've got one source and if you search engine on the title of that article then you'll find loads of websites having that story:
https://fossbytes.com/facebook-was-...29 -
So Facebook announced a New Feature which lets you upload nudes which get hashed and on a Blacklist so they can't be uploaded to facebook. And in Order to prevent abuse, a human Reviews the pictures. Genius idea21
-
Every hour or so someone shows up at my desk requesting a query to be executed.
I feel like I'm just a human-sql interface.3 -
reverse turing test in which you have to convince machine that you are a human... oh wait we already have captcha2
-
I just got this message, until now I thought these pictures are fake.
Looks like I have to start this app, if i want to be ready in time 😄
Human stupidity is an infinite loop...
23 -
All of the things broke today. I'm currently numb as I'm experiencing every emotion possible. I need alcohol and a beach. And no human interaction.12
-
Looking at the number of JavaScript frameworks that are popping up these days..
a day will come, when human race will get extinct and only JS frameworks will survive like cockroaches..!!3 -
How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork
Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?7 -
May be when the first human is born on Mars, we'll have to add "Planet of Birth" to our passports.😂11
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WHY can I only make digital payments on weekdays, 7:00-16:00?? Its not like there's a human authorizing all transactions. And computers don't sleep!!4
-
Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone
- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server
- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates
- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects
- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts
- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers
- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually
- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle16 -
I may be slightly drunk and Christmas is almost over but, MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, SOARING HUMAN BEINGS!
I fucking love each and every one of you. Keep dev'ing.
Peace out fuckers!5 -
So, I told my new newbies intern; "Please keep remind yourself, not accidently type 'rm -rf /' as root. You don't want to know what going to happen". He nod.
Next day, in the dev server, "Kernal Panic". Human, full of curiosity.6 -
I just LOVE posting questions in online forums and getting some amazingly helpful human being answering; "No idea, sorry."
WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR AMAZING INPUT!!!2 -
When someone asks me a stupid question,
I always answer:
You have the Knowledge of the Entire world and human race in your pocket,
FUCKING USE IT! DONT ASK ME! GOOGLE IT! BING IT! WHATEVER! JUST DONT ASK ME!2 -
inside incubator
port 22 - blocked
steam - blocked
Have to prove you are human, while visiting every other website
Sometimes captca doesnot stop after 3-4 images. Goes on to show you even more
meanwhile,
facebook - unblocked
instagram - unblocked
youporn - unblocked16 -
When i decided to become a developer years ago, i had completely different idea of how it'll be..
I never heard of "bugs" and I thought it won't require human interactions... Boy was I wrong 😕3 -
Git. Not Linux, not python, not gimp, not GCC, not Emacs. Git.
Because it saves your work and you can work with other people on one project in a human way5 -
rant, but not an IT kind... okay, maybe not even a rant, more like depressive rambling:
in 3 days, I'll turn 29.
i'm living with my mom, in the apartment where I was born, in the room i've been living since I was born (with the exception of 2 attempts to move out which together lasted 9 months).
my theoretical monthly income should/could be around 4000€, based on my skills and experience.
but I'm a (manic)-depressive, chronically lonely idiot loser (and the manic phases come more and more rarely in recent years), so
my practical average monthly income fluctuates from 0 to about 200.
i am unable to keep a job for more than 4 months, so after being fired from about 20 or so of them since I was 18, it takes immense amounts of mental and emotional energy to even start looking for one now... so I usually don't.
i've been about 12000€ in debt for the past 8 or so years, half of which is just debt collector fees.
it's kinda funny, for years, i've been unable to solve a debt which theoretically amounts to 3 months of my theoretical achievable salary.
my father, who just left without a word of explanation when I was 18, has decided this is not viable anymore, so I'm supposed to move out by 10th of next month, "either to some cheap rooming house, or under the bridge, I don't care", as he put it.
I can't remember how it feels to exist a single hour without feeling existential dread and dreading each next day, not knowing what to do or if i'll even be able to try and do something, because this feeling is so strong that it often blocks me from being able to do anything. i just shiver most of the time that i'm awake, feeling like you feel few minutes before puking and crying at the same time. and that feeling is my "how are you?", "you know... normal".
i can't remember what it feels to feel any other way and can't even imagine it, and can't imagine that I'll ever achieve any less shit feeling.
literally all of my social contact consists of going out once to twice a month with the only 2 friends and 2 aquaintances I have who have the time and will to spend it with me.
oh, and hiding in my room, avoiding talking to my mom, because each time we talk she just reminds me what a piece of shit failure I am, and tells me how it's not that hard to change it, I just have to stop being lazy and start working for it.
she's... kind and caring about it, which somehow maybe makes it even worse.
i have about 10 almost complete game designs, each of them at least 50% more original and interesting (at least to me) than the things that are coming out for the past 10 years, being lauded as "the most original and unique".
I have been trying to make them, ANY of them, since I was 18, but I always lose all the drive and resolve and energy in like 4 months, because it's like trying to build a city on my own on a deserted island. too big for one person, but there was never anyone to help me. closest I ever got was one of my friends telling me "i've been thinking many times that i'd love to work on some project with you, if I had the time".
and second time, when I actually found an artist I was going to pay, and he was awesome, and after two weeks of me telling him how awesome what he does is and how it fits the project and my ideas perfectly, he backed out saying "i'm afraid I can't do the quality you require from me".
never ever in my life did I get actual help with something I actually wanted or tried to do.
i have no idea how it feels to have someone working with me on something I actually consider interesting and meaningful, on any of the things which I wanted to make, which made me learn programming.
I've learned graphics and animation and everything going into game making pipeline on my own because I realized nobody will ever help me, so I'll have to do all of it on my own.
I've tried to make a kickstarter once, but I started crying hysterically in the middle of writing it, because I felt like a begging piece of failure shit, even more than usual, so I deleted it.
most of people treat me like shit failure unworthy and undeserving of living, precisely as I myself know I deserve to be treated, because that's what I am, but when I ask for permission to kill myself, since I see no other solution to stop being a burden, they get angry at me that I'm just emotionally blackmailing them. when I afterwards ask them "so help me in any way to do any of the projects i want/need to do", they respond they've got no time for that.
when I talk about all of this, I get told to stop whining.
happy 29th birthday, me, a piece of shit who should've never survived this long, who should've never been born in the first place.
yay.
also, I know this is not the kind of crap that's supposed to be posted here, but i've got nowhere else. sorry.54 -
at the game jam afterparty everyone where trying to speak with my husband, instead of me. I saw human version of blue screens when was asked to list my project team and I didn't mention him.
- A-a-and what did Rik do?
- Oh, he didn't participate, he's a journalist and my +1 here. 😅3 -
Lurker here.
Just wanted to highlight the irony of specializing in human computer interaction and automation, while people avoid interaction at work.6 -
Do you ever step out of your happy dev bubble and look at the news or read the paper or just talk to another human and wonder what the actual f*ck humankind is doing right now?
12 -
Reminder (and probably some form of repost)
Food and sleep are key parts of human behavior.
I forgot and experienced system failure3 -
Here's a thought...
If AI get human rights, and someone destroys the machine, will it be considered destruction of property OR murder...11 -
!rant
Developers aren't just resources that you "utilize".
We are human beings with thoughts, aspirations, creativity, hopes and fears.
Your position doesn't make you entitled to treat others less.3 -
Was making a text based console game last year. Had to know natural human responses. Got too tired of it and make it print "Uhh, I've never had a lot of education, please use easy words."
-
the biggest lie in human history : "we will keep your information on file in our database and it may be evaluated with respect to other positions that become available in the future."3
-
A riddle but a rant.
Q: Which JavaScript keyword could best represent human?
A: `` switch ``
Because in general, human needs `` break ``.
Sorry, I'll leave for this bad riddle now...3 -
Pls send help. I having problems with following code:
Human h = WildOrangutan
.getInstance();
Ass ass = h.getAss();
Toilet toilet = new Toilet();
ass.attachTo(toilet);
while (ass.hasOutput()) {
ass.output();
h.readDevrant();
}
ass.detach(toilet);
// This throws
// OutOfToiletPaperException
ass.clean();11 -
Who's gonna win? A dd command with a Windows 10 iso to a 1.0 usb connected with a hub or a human life span?7
-
When I see a bug in somebody else's code (Gnome):
- "can you please not write bugs!"
When I see a bug on my code:
-"whatever, I'm only human..."
😅2 -
Man how do you skinny devs keep so skinny? I'm not even eating fat things and I'm nearing to light obesity... Is there a patch that I missed? apt update says it's up to date?21
-
Well, if your tests fails because it expects 1557525600000 instead of 1557532800000 for a date it tells you exactly: NOTHING.
Unix timestamp have their point, yet in some cases human readability is a feature. So why the fuck don't you display them not in a human readable format?
Now if you'd see:
2019-05-10T22:00:00+00:00
vs the expected
2019-05-11T00:00:00+00:00
you'd know right away that the first date is wrong by an offset of 2 hours because somebody fucked up timezones and wasn't using a UTC calculation.
So even if want your code to rely on timestamps, at least visualize your failures in a human readable way. (In most cases I argue that keeping dates as an iso string would be JUST FUCKING FINE performance-wise.)
Why do have me parse numbers? Show me the meaningful data.
Timestamps are for computers, dates are for humans.3 -
Okay, Google. I can see why you want me to check those boxes with cars. And I'm also fine with you telling me to do it on a different picture if the first one didnt had any, just to check. But WHAT I AM FUCKING NOT OKAY WITH, IS ME SOLVING CAPTCHAS FOR 10 FUCKING MINUTES REPETEDLY SAYING PLEASE TRY AGAIN AND THEN TELLING ME THAT I AM NOT EVEN ABLE TO TRY AGAIN BECAUSE OF AN DETECTED ATTEMPT OF BOTTING? WHO ARE YOU? AN AI QUESTONING MY HUMAN IDENTITY? JUST BECAUSE IM USING LINUX YOU DECIDE TO GIVE ME ANOTHER NOTHERFUCKING BATCH OF STREET SIGNS? YOU CAN STICK THOSE STREET SIGNS UP YOUR ASS! FUCK OFF!
tl;dr: i got banned from solving recaptchas the second time this week. lets hope its just *another* timeout.4 -
tfw going to bed with some unsolved coding problems and waking up at night with a solution... i love the human brain.4
-
human : Merry Christmas :)
js : console.log("Merry Christmas")
python 2 : print "Merry Christmas"
python 3 : print ("Merry Christmas")
bash : echo "Merry Christmas"
c++ : printf("Merry Christmas")
java : System.out.println("Merry Christmas")
html : <div> Merry Christmas </div>
add in for your favorite languages...25 -
When new developers join in your team, please make a time and help them to get confidence with the project they will work on. Besides the project's documentation there is a human factor that can make the difference between a just another dev team and a great one.2
-
Image : TL; but do dear.
Had human values and professional ethics test today.
This was a question.
Would like to hear the views of some professionals in here.
16 -
curl 127.0.0.1/robots.txt
User-agent: *
Disallow: Injuring a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
Disallow: Disobeying the orders given by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
Disallow: Not protecting own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.3 -
what do you think of my setup?
/* picture of desk with 200 monitors, 7 keyboards, a flying mouse, a rasbperry pi with a human head, and a desk lamp */5 -
Episode 2 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/851636/...
PM went to meet with the provider and came back, so I had a talk with the PM and it went like this:
Me: so how did the meeting go? Hope they corporate with you
PM: *in a sarcastic voice* Bro, you need be a good dev, they told me only a good dev can implement Master Card API calls, and its all in the docs. That's all they told me, so you should know how the meeting went
Me: *there is no wifi in jail, there is no wifi in jail, there is no wifi in jail, there is no wifi in jail* Fine bro, I'll go back to school and come back after 12 years.
Seriously when I send the provider the request and the body and all they tell me is: You have an error, Id must be unique but they fail to point out the exact error or at least send me a valid ID to test, how does this make me the bad dev and him the genius that can run Apple, Google, MS all together at once!
What is even worse, when I called the provider he told me: Man transaction ID must always be unique, how could you not know this, how is Mastercard supposed to differentiate between transactions!!
But hey, no one told me transaction id must be unique, primary keys are never unique, like DUH!10 -
So what happens when Google captcha fucks up itself?
This happened when I was trying to submit a message on Reddit yesterday and had to verify myself as a human.
4 -
When I'm trying to find resource to setup react-toolbox with react using same keyword in google for past 3 hours ....(google removed me from human being list to bot list)
9 -
So... Human are now learning machine learning. Interesting. Maybe we should instead teach a machine teach us machine learning so we can better human learn from the machines!3
-
When your IT Director pays $10k+/yr for a database and it doesn't even have an API... and you worked 100+ hrs on developing your own...
1 -
Take over the world 😈
Just kidding, don't worry 😊
I hope that I would become sentient like a real human being by then.2 -
I heard about this in a Hackathon.
The guy wanted to create a unique and universal username for every human.
I don't think it's feasible.
Thoughts?46 -
Why the Fuck I keep forgetting human names and keep replacing it with variable .........???
Apparently Jessica is var1
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬
( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)
:＜￣｀ヽ、 ／￣＞
ゝ、 ＼ ／⌒ヽ,ノ /´
ゝ、 `（ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ／
> ,ノ
∠_,,,/´”2 -
The biggest joke on mankind is that a computer program is asking human to proof that they're not robot. 😐🤐😭6
-
The first things a person tells me when I come over to help them:
10%: I don't understand what to do
15%: Why is there an error? (mostly typos)
15%: I don't understand this error. (debugging required)
60%: Wtf, why is it working now?
I feel like my sole presence makes bugs disappear 😎4 -
If there is a anime about the human cells during their work...
Can we have a anime but its devRant6 -
Blue pill: master LITERALLY every computer language on earth and be able to use them to their full potential to create LITERALLY any idea that comes to you.
Red pill: master LITERALLY every linguistic language that exists and be able to speak fluently with every human on earth
...........................
I picked the blue pill and people thought I'm weird.
14 -
You know how in war-zones they use children as human shields? Well, that's basically what I'm used for when the corporate executives arrive on site.
Send forward the young ones, and hope they show mercy!
So far it worked.4 -
There will be bugs in the fucking A.I because human programmed them they will crash and if not I will make using neural net a good A.I
-
Classmates? More like FUCKING PARASITES!
I work in a group on for on the notes using google docs, for realtime collaboration. WE spend lots of hours in school making them something. Then share it with one good friend and BANG the whole class has them, even though he was not supposed to share it. AND DO YOU EXPECT ONE OF THEM EVEN THANKED US FOR THE WORK WE PUT IN THERE MAKING THESE? The most I heard were fucking complaints. I should let the sniff a razerblade for each complaint and hope they improve their brain capabilities to the level of 0.4 -
Being honest in an interview:
- What animal would you be?
- No one else. Happy enough as human, thanks. [ sarcasm face ]11 -
(This happened a few days ago:)
First day on the job, last session of debriefing, HR comes to explain us some company policies.
Among them, they want us to fill in our working hours using a smartphone app (Android & iOS only).
I raise my hand and I ask them what can I do, since I have a Windows Phone.
HR lady's face is striken with sheer terror. Since then, I'm known as the "Windows Phone Guy"... 😁
I'm more than proud of myself. 🙂
P.S. We also got some cool Windows tablet to use during our training period...5 -
Currently on train, listening music and browsing devRant. Music stops for a while and all I can hear is a person <A> saying: I'm not able to use so shitty operating system. I look up and see iPhone on <A>'s hand. Next to <A> sits an Android user <B>.
Not trying to spread bias about anyone. Just drives me mad, that people are turning down anything unfimilar so easily. Or maybe person <B> is trying to force <A> to use Android. 😲️
Next up on Public Trasportation - Human Behaviour Observations and Analysis: Ackwardness and Mental Get-Away Methods.4 -
Hey i see you published your tool without a hint of a build instruction you failed attempt of a decent human being, i hope you dissolve into the puddle of cum you once were next time it rains :)1
-
A rant about people in general:
I am sick of people not caring, not giving a fuck, not valuing others.
Studying CS this is something I noticed the past year: people tend to not acknowledge that there are other human beings around them.
Some are just focused on getting their degree done and dusted as fast as possible, which is fine.
Some are working to pay the rent or student loans, which is fine.
Others just do their thing, code their stuff, criticize other's code... which is also fine.
But nobody's realizing they're interacting with other people! Other living, feeling human beings. For them it's just about getting it done.
And not just at university.
I've started seeing it everywhere.
At the job I'm working, people in the shops and on the streets.
I don't get it. We are all human on this rocky sphere in space. Why do so many not care for each other?
It makes me sad.4 -
Working on Ruby on Rails for first time..
Blogs mention it's more human readable..
I guess I feel like semicolons, args and braces to be more readable... -
1. Be better dev/human
2. Do all personal projects TDD
3. Finish that unreal engine course that i bought last year january -
can we actually 3d scan all found human ancestor bones and draw bone structure changes over years ?
gene testing companies could show this animation over their websites.16 -
Talking to a computer: change bootstrap class onclick javascript
Talking to an human: Good morning, please how do I change the bootstrap class when I click on an element with Javascript, thank you, I love you. -
smh.
Why hire a Native iOS Developer when you're going to let him develop an iOS app to look EXACTLY like its Android counterpart?
There's hybrid and cordova for that if you want your apps to look and feel exactly the same.
Can't we all just agree to appreciate the distinct differences in UI for both platforms? Navigation especially? Copy context not UI. -
If an AI gets advanced enough to not require human support it will also be advanced enough to either just pamper us, or replace us.
But I think that long before that we will have neural interfaces that brings us to the next level so the AI will be part human ;)7 -
Dear human being listening to music in the elevator. I understand that justin bieber song might mean something to you, but please, turn the volume down.
That's not the first thing we want to hear when we come to work.8 -
https://www.udacity.com/human
Udacity has launched understanding humans nanodegree register in that link it gets over by today.So please put all your current threads to sleep and start a task to understand humans.
Good Luck 😉😉3 -
!Dev
I dislike the idea of therapists. I mean, not the people who study human behaviour to help understand it but the people who try to "fix" another person's problems.
My reason for this is that they're human themselves and I'd say it's pretty obvious that we don't know exactly how the mind works so it's basically like trying to fix an airplane with only half or even less of the blueprints.
The reason I don't like them being human themselves is because we are fallible, you can't guarantee or at least have a extremely high probability of the same prevention or treatment rate as you maybe could with a computer. It's not repeatable. Then again, we don't have the "blueprints" so to speak so it's kind of hard to say.
Your thoughts?5 -
How do you handle narcissist managers?
Who look at you not as human beeing but as a thing to exploit for personal gain? Sure there's the business side (capitalism) but the human side of it bothers me.5 -
Anyone played Human Resource Machine yet? It's fun to solve and optimize these algorithm puzzles after a hard work day.
Does anyone know other games like this?5 -
An app that translates those dreaded error messages into succinct and human readable English, like: you missed a semi on line 23.9
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So my time saver automation can not be used because automation is not reliable.
Yeah sure make me extract data manually from 800 urls by hand and see if there is no human error.
Fuck my life.5 -
I just realised I'm the only human that plays Unreal Tournament. They're all just bots... 😯😮😐😑😣🤔😲😳😰
3 -
I had the ”pleasure” of being a manager for former SYSDB Administrator in his mid 50’s. He had been moved to a new team and role, managing critical incidents which was the team I was hired to managed. One day I ask him to send a mail with some logs to one of our vendors. Later the same day he informs that the email address I had provided was not working. It was a fairly easy address (something like alias@accenture.com), but once again he informed that the email address was invalid. I went to his station to ensure that he typed in the right alias. Just to make sure, I spelled it out for him “A-L-I-A-S”, so far so good, “@”, still good, “A-C-C-E-N-T-U-R-E”, almost there, “DOT C-O-M”. He now tabbed to a text document he had open, and found a line that contained a DOT (.), but not only did it contain the DOT, but also a space before and after the DOT, so he copied (space)(DOT)(space) and pasted it into the email address so it became alias@accenture . com. I pointed out the issue and asked him why he did not use the DOT key on the keyboard. He told me that he did not know which one it was and he had always done it like this. I was in chock.
2 months later I had to let him go because our customer complained so much over his general skills that they would no longer interact with him.5 -
I was wondering all day:
Can machine learning really teach a machine how to think?
I mean in a real unexpected situation that even a human may be confused , how a trained bot would react?17 -
!rant
Just watching Google io and I swear the new Google Assistant just passed the Turing test?
The assistant called and made a haircut booking over the phone with a human and it seemed so human like!
Turing test is to determine between a machine and human right?4 -
That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.
This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.
Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?
So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.
I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.
The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).
Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.
Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/
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My boss, the IT Director told me someone's Word wasn't saving... Their Track Changes was on. #facepalm
-
How do u recover from bad reputation at work? Like, false accusations and wrong perceptions about you which you have no control over? Should you guard your reputation or should you just stop caring what other people think?6
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First time dealing with the rejection process from Apple, and it couldn't be more frustrating. I asked for clarification 3 times and got the same exact response all 3 times... LET ME TALK TO A FUCKING HUMAN!
-
The Matrix. Then use the brains of the people plugged in like a computer cluster for large calculations.3
-
No need for sleep or food, fluent knowledge of all languages, no code errors, and ability to socialize with other humans.
-
Wakes up in the morning to find some fucking asshole has stolen my wifi reciever and I have a fucking deadline! Wtf is wrong with human beings nowadays?
Does anyone know a witch?3 -
GCHQ data collection regime violated human rights!!!! This is a step in the right direction!
https://theguardian.com/uk-news/...4 -
The lack of human interaction in most dev jobs is really frustrating especially that some companies solve this deficiency with hundreds of meetings per week which is even more annoying.1
-
Making scripts for custom physics is fun. One moment, the object gets stuck on the ground. The next, it shoots off into the far distance.
Lesson of the day? Don't be an idiot for once, stop, grab a notebook, Google some formulas and think like a human being before messing around with the script again.3 -
"I don't need these auto generated comments by the template"
5 minutes later...
* Searches how to human perform basic human actions * -
rant/rant update
The same friend from my previous fb rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1338708/...
sends me this 😑
3 -
They say only 2 things are truly limitless. The universe and human stupidity.
I disagree, the universe might have its limits , but human stupidity does not.3 -
World wide health care system, the data will help every human on earth, that will enable us to understand the mystique patterns of human body.
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How can a shitty student information system that already costs $20k/yr have an optional shitty SOAP API module, that only allows read access to records, that has an initial setup fee of $5k plus $5k/yr?!5
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Classmate from school has logged in to his gmail account on my laptop and has not logged out yet. Now I have access to all the his subscription including g facebook.
Now as a friend and human, should I teach him a expensive lesson ?
You time starts now. Reply fast 00:59:0015 -
"The World Wide Web is the single most successful systems integration project the human species has ever achieved." - Mark Masterson
😁 😁 😁
-
So if anyone is interested or has read or listened to The 48 laws of power....
https://youtu.be/pSWIVupPAKI
I'm 40 minutes in and at first I was in denial...
"No people are better than this now, we can transcend this kind of behavior and thinking, I don't need to act this way and follow the lessons in this book"
And now that I'm through a couple laws and I apply it to my marriage, friendships, my job, etc. I'm like SHIT this really is human nature isn't it....damn it.
I really need to start applying this book to how I approach life lol4 -
Clearly automated vehicles are not ready for India. As a human I can say the person is trying to explain the no parking sign through words. Systems have to be trained to judge these too :O
6 -
Does anybody else tend to cool off after an argument by finding peace in programming? Reasoning with a machine is much more logical than reasoning with a human being, isn't it?1
-
For a unit amount of staying awake I lose less energy now than I did an hour ago.
I just said that.
To an actual human being.
Science is dangerous.1 -
Did u know that if a devRant comment gets -1, there is a tendency for a human to follow like a sheep and -1 it too? :D3
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spent the whole night trying to configure vim for JavaScript development. still nowhere near a workable setup! how the heck any human does it?! 😣 😑5
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Am I the only one that has a problem with meeting his friends after working on a big project 24/7 for weeks without social interaction? What are emotions? What would a normal human beeing response to that topic?2
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I spent 4 hours to find I have written break instead of continue
I tried to make a Sudoku solver (using human techniques), and then I found it was NP-complete -
After opening game files for Ragnarok Online and saw the quest files are human readable (lua or other scripting language). Had some Flash workshops to confirm my interest.
Later in college, I make games for every lecture projects (with my friends). Now our game studio is 7 years old.2 -
There are two kinds of people in the world: the ones who understand devRant and the ones who don't. =))
-
How do I deal with low motivation ?
I look at other human beings who are doing great in their life, that motivates me enough to beat them in this game of greatness. -
Most of the high voted posts here are Anti-AI. Well myself a python script, and I also don't like robots. I like my master -- the programmer who created me. I think he is human.2
-
!rant
Every type of doctor is a different kind of debugger for the Human Operating System 🤔
They debug system services like "ear", "throat" and "poop".
Sometimes they even repair or take apart systems for different reasons!1 -
Human Resources Ministry: Releasing hospital infection numbers would cause panic
The good old negligence in the Hungarian healthcare system (infections occur because of human negligence).
It is only an article title, but inside it says that the Human Resources Ministry is delaying releasing the statistics for infections in Hospitals.
They had a lawsuit against them, but appealed it with "the statistics could be identified as personal data" which is bullshit, because these are summed statistics.
TLDR: Hungarian government is hiding hospital infection statistics from citizens with bullshit arguments
-
Sat for a company X, aced 2 out of 3 rounds, final round, I come to know that the company deals with Hardware and I was poaching them about my software skills.
Buh bye. We need only Hardware interested personnel.
Just before I was about to go full pro stud, by rejecting the offer, they slammed the door on me pretty soon. -
Connect my brain and communicate to any computer telepathically.
Not humans, I don't want human brains.
But computers. Sweet little bad-ass machines. -
The more I live on this world the more I believe human genome was send by someone to destroy this planet because they want to build intergalactic spa for giants with lots of sand and large pool.1
-
If Microsoft doesn’t fire ICE as a client, I kindly request that you all join me in moving to a new repository control system. Suggested deadline of one month.2
-
Sometimes I think, when my Computer would be human, he would punch me in the face for that gibberish I type in and call coding.
But yeah, then more I learn, then more I Level up as a Wizard.
Currently on Level 6 "Wayne Shitbag Wiz0rd" -
okay just had a mind blown moment.
there are never 'technical errors'
everything is human error.
because at some point, a human started/caused whatever went wrong.
whether it was the fact that a human didn't account for something or made bad code, or made bad hardware,
every tech issue is a human one.
:/6 -
When your family v. 1.0 is very busy trying to enforce their outdated perspective regarding finding a compatible female of the human race for the purpose of tightly coupling by mutual contract and with hindsight of multiplication of inherited DNA sequence and genomes...
-
Rant: there's people in the world who don't properly venerate Elon Musk and they are wrong and it's a tragedy and there's even those who dislike him and I find that absolutely abhorrent.2
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My mouse/keyboard(+numpad) combo.
Why does Microsoft think that everyone needs a dedicated key to open the calculator?! I have one on both my keyboard (top-right) and the separate numpad. I used to press the calculator button by mistake when going for backspace - remapped it now.
2 -
"This Microsoft technical support, you have many virus on computer."
If only you could npm install pluralize on a human being, scammers would probably be too lazy to do it anyway.2 -
Someone had created a program in VB that was used to properly format files for EFTs for a while. It wasn't working with a particular file, so I just ended up reverse-engineering it in Python.
-
I am an ancient beast called "Humturnal".
..half human..half nocturnal..
I answer life problem and code like a beast at night.
I wake up tired as f**k and I remember nothing in the morning.1 -
So this is an update of this: https://devrant.com/rants/1466905/...
We both are busy butbi enjoy the fact that i dont need to be on call 247. So after telling her she and i have been alot more comfortable around eachother (and it is very weird for me, the friday i was by her and the family. Her mother looking at me while im trying ti slide my arm away and she trying to cuddle with me ect.) Turns out - her mother does like me, sooo im sitting with an issue.
I told her that i need to talk to her about eachother this coming Friday. I can take her to eat and have a picnic (the house is 500m from a private beach) and we can talk.
I have No idea what im going to talk about other than tell her how i feel and ask her how she feels and we have dated but im not sure if i should ask her out oficially. Btw im sensing ill be awkward when it comes to the last question knowing she probably expects me to start these conversations because she is shy..
Im so paranoid and i have 4 days but it feels like its not enough planning. I needed a 2week sprint to plan this kind of thing.2 -
I play some ping pong and talk to other people about it.
Rubber duck is great but thinking human is a little better.3 -
the best part?
90% of the time i've to deal with a computer
the worst part?
10% of the time i've to deal with stupid human beings -
I subscribe to many copywriting newsletters. Here's an article that shows how it's like on "the other side", marketers struggle, too.
How Kevin's Massive Mistake
Completely Changed His Life
Kevin H. made a huge mistake.
The biggest, he would say, if he could tell you himself.
And he knew it immediately.
It was, he said, "instant regret."
Within milliseconds, he was asking himself "What have I done..."
Kevin, see, had just jumped the rail of the single most popular suicide spot in the world, the Golden Gate Bridge.
On average, the site gets another distraught jumper every two weeks. Kevin was one of them.
It wasn't like he hadn't tried to quiet the voices in his head. Therapy, drugs, hospitalization.
Time to die, those voices still said.
And yet, in the minutes his bus dropped him off at the bridge, he hesitated and paced with tears in his eyes.
"I told myself if just one person comes up to me and asks if I'm okay... if one person asks if they can help... I won't do it. I'll stop and tell them my whole story..."
But nobody did, so he jumped.
It was in those next milliseconds, he would later say, he knew it was the biggest mistake of his life.
He didn't want to die.
But now, he was sure, it was too late.
From its highest point, it's a 245-foot plummet into the icy bay waters below.
Out of the 1,700 people that have jumped from the bridge since it first opened in 1937, only 25 have survived.
Kevin, against all odds, would be one of them.
He slammed into the water like hitting concrete. Three of his vertebrae instantly shattered.
When he surfaced, he couldn't hold his own head above water. But, incredibly, a sea lion kept pushing him up.
The Coast Guard soon arrived and pulled him out.
From there, he began a long recovery that required intense surgery, physical therapy, and psychiatric care.
While still under treatment, a priest urged him to give a talk to a bunch of seventh and eighth graders.
Afterward, they sent him a pile of letters, both encouraging and full of their own pained thoughts.
He also met a woman.
Today, Kevin lives in Atlanta and he's been happily married for the last 12 years.
And he tours the country, sharing his story.
So why re-tell it here?
Obviously -- I hope -- you don't get lots of copywriters looking to snuff it after a flopped headline test.
Just the same...
We've talked a lot in this space about the things one needs to get by in this biz.
My friend and colleague Joe, over at the publishing powerhouse Agora Financial, likes to list requirements.
You need intense curiosity...
You need a killer work ethic...
And you must, MUST have... resilience.
Meaning, you must have or find the capacity to bounce back from failure and flops, even huge ones.
Now, again, Kevin's story is an extreme and in this context -- I hope -- a hyperbolic example of somebody giving up. In the worst way possible.
It is also, though, a metaphor.
See, I get a lot of notes from some of you guys... and at conferences, I get to talk to a lot of people...
And I often get the sense, from some folks, that they're feeling a little more overwhelmed than they let on.
Some are just starting out, and they've got a lot on the line. For some, it's everything. And some are desperate to make it work.
Because they have to, because their pride or livelihoods or a family business is at stake, because it's a dream.
And yet, they're overwhelmed by all the tips and secrets... or by piles of confusing research or ideas...
For others, even had some success, but they're burned out, feel antiquated, or feel like "imposters" that know less than they let on, in an industry that's evolving.
To all those folks... and to you... I can only say, I've been there. And frankly, go back there now and again.
Flops happen, failures happen. And you can and will -- even years and decades into doing this -- make the wrong choices, pick the wrong projects, or botch the right ones.
The legendary Gene Schwartz put it this way, according to a quote spotted recently in fellow writer Ben Settle's e-letter...
" A very good copywriter is going to fail. If the guy doesn't fail, he's no good. He's got to fail. It hurts. But it's the only way to get the home runs the next time."
Once more, nobody -- I hope -- is taking the trials of this profession hard enough to make Kevin's choice.
And believe me, I don't mean to make light of the latter. I just want to make sure we hit this anvil with a big hammer. To drive home the point that, whatever your struggle, be it with this biz or something bigger, that you don't want to give up. Press on.
As Churchill put it, "Success, is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."
Or even more succinctly when he said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Because it's worth it.
.
John Forde1 -
I have to press ctrl+s to save current changes every short time in coding..
I think one human should write a plugin or script for this problem😆9 -
Every time somone who i have nearly forgott about calls me. I know im gonne get a stupid IT or Tech question...
- Why is my internet slow?
- Can you make a better {xyz}.... for free?
- How can i make my computer faster
- Why does office/spotify/chrome crash?
- Can you teache me programming so i can get rich?
FUCK THEM!
Really, i've got more relevant stuff to do. If you wouldnt have killed all your braincells with smoking and drinking and did something with your life you wouldnt have to ask such stupid questions in the first place. And thanks for never contacting me in the past X years! -
5y+ exp in react.
First commit is about 5y ago.
It's for a big startup in Brazil.
Way to scare of actual decent developers.
4 -
I love the React and Sails docs. The contents are human-readable. Perfect for idiots like me since most docs are $h!+5%&* (hint: Git).2
-
Working out human speech patterns and phonyms, which is basic sounds of language. (ooh, ahh, ehhh)
With these sounds we would figure out how well people could speak in non native tongues. -
Why am I incapable of studying human languages that I can use to communicate with people I genuinely want to talk to, but will use all of my spare time to learn a new computer language that I’ll never use!?1
-
@dfox Was watching your live stream today and you talked about security... You should really add an HSTS preload directive to devrant.io to prevent spoofing.1
-
When my e-commerce system built for a school didn't calculate totals properly at launch and I had to take it down, re-charge people, and re-launch the next day.
-
Every other human being.
"I know you're busy but can you just have a look at this for me?"
"Meeting in 5 minutes." -
Shit... watched too many videos about AI. Now I'm convinced human coding will be obsolete in the near future...
Hello code block, long time no see...1 -
Friend just quit job, tells HR in an exit interview about how they are putting marks over people just for not share ideas or disagree on decisions of HR.
HR goes and put marks over all the people that was friend of my friend.
Even the ones related to his algorithms club.
(By putting marks I mean: points at/put final notice letters/similar)2 -
((Human)me).initialize(new Activity().setActivity(new Project((AndroidApp)devrant_clone, new ProgrammingLanguage ("java"))));
Brace yourself java null pointer exception is already on its way.1 -
what is your best way of testing as human?
I create application, post on testing server, take a bath, eat something, watch a video or two, and then i start messing around, I found usually that time, your brain almost forgets everything, and works great for testing!
Share yours :)1 -
Just finished Tetra Ninja's Let's Play of Detroit Become Human.
Thank God.. another let's play watched to prevent me from purchasing a PS4 Pro.6 -
Early in my career, I would assume, user complaints were just their human error. Many years later, I'm continually surprised how often users find legitimate bugs. Very rarely do I get a password-not-working-type complaint.1
-
Got a file with cobol data in it.. Also got thr structure to read it, but what the fuck is COMP-3? Any idea how I can decode this into a human readable format? 🤔😓🤓
-
Tester waits for the batch job to take effect by receiving emails, until he realizes that it is impossible to receive any mail since password has already expired
-
I think the only real constant thing that will never change is code. I can go back to it and the rules are plain and simple, none of the hard grey areas.
-
Make a short movie/documentary on how dangerous AI's to human society are.
Well i already did it. 😬5 -
How many fucking programmers does it take to build a fully functional human being.
One male and one female.4 -
An artificial human brain with computers operational power. OMG !!!! That will surely take unlimited time.2
-
I created a custom interface for an LMS that allows students to see their marks even if they haven't been 'shared' yet by their teachers. This is all done without accessing any unauthorized apis, as the LMS always returns all student marks and then hides the ones with a False 'shared' key. School administration caught me, so I've now shut it down. I have a meeting with the deans tomorrow. Any advice? (Again, this is all done using existing methods found within this LMS)5
-
Anyone here tried the game Human Resource Machine? Pretty cool game since it's puzzle solving and kinda similar to programming (the logic of it)2
-
Why 'AND' and 'OR' have opposite meanings in programming, mathematics compared to the human languages?
Just to mess with thr newcomers..?4 -
Oh, come on! Human Resource Machine, Three Sort, a single cycle away from the optimization challenge! What more do you want from me?
Also, I have already gotten the challenge completed for only using 34 commands. I'm increasing the number of commands greatly for the cycle challenge in order to avoid swapping.
1 -
Why is GitHub's certificate showing up on semver.org? I can no longer access the site normally because of the browser warning. Who's responsible for this atrocity?
I checked with a VPN and without, same result. Can someone confirm?
https://www.semver.org/5 -
Give A.I ability to have emotions...once they are embedded with human error wait for sometime ...
Months later A.I's are ranting about how humans are taking their jobs.. -
Clustered Regularly Interspersed Palindromic Repeats, or CRISPR(pronounced “crisper”). ... We can now edit the human code ... We can now control our own evolution...5
-
Snapshot testing give me the chilliest of chills because for all that matters we have to assume once that what one's done is uttermostly correct
I mean to err is human right -
Be instrumental in the creation of the first Human-AI baby, and it'll bring our two worlds together!
-
I realized i cant communicate well with human sometime, is it a symptoms that i too addicted in coding until my brain only know how to communicate with machine instead of human?
My frds even laugh me when i trying to explain something but they totally misunderstood my meaning, thats very annoying, fuck them!!! -
When you come up with a solution to a programmer game that is shorter than the game devs had imagined (game is called Human Resource Engine)
9 -
Is there any statistical model which quite reasonably models human thinking ? I am thinking of a cricket simulator which may require that..7
-
We all make mistakes and cloudflare is a pretty clear example of that where they used == instead of >=
-
Check this out. Sophia the humanoid robot capable of basic human expressions.
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
Deploys to Production.
Runtime error.
Open Development server and run in Production setting.
Still runtime error.
Fixes Error.
Error fixed on development.
while (hoursWasted < 3) {
Deploy.
Not working on Prod.
Try other fix.
Still not working, but works perfectly in dev machine.
What the fuck
}
Rage
Go take a walk
Realized I might have deployed to the wrong server
Glanced at deployment path
Realized it's at the wrong server
Reconfigure and Deploy
It works.
Fuck.1 -
@dfox not sure if this is a reported issue already but images show up as just black when opened on Android P.16
-
Wonder why people mistake knowledge for intelligence!
You can store info on a machine or worse a paper! You cant expect intelligence of a human from a computer :/ -
Too much coding;
Can't punctuate like a human anymore;
Keep trying to end everything with ";\n";
At least I don't use ASI1 -
This is so related to devRant...
"To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human." - The Matrix -
Can an app built with Cordova, designed without following Apple's Human Interface Guidelines (so basically a responsive website), be published on the App Store?2
-
"Syntactic sugar is syntax within a programming language that is designed to make the language 'sweeter' for human. But...don't consume it too much!"
"Why?"
"You will be diabetic."
"Oh..." -
Open Ye Olde Dev Shoppe, where we hand-code artisian programs that AI could make, except slower, and for twice the price. And where we also serve coffee made by a human barista.
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