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iOS: Hey, human wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
iOS: Out of Memory.
Me: What?
iOS: I ain't explaining shit.2 -
Google: "Please prove you're a human."
Me: "Hello Google, I'm human!"
Google: "Prove you're a human..."
Me: *Stabbing my finger and dripping blood on the computer*
Google "Prove you're a human!!"
Me: *Crying, laughing, expressing feelings*
Google: "Prove you're a human I said!!!"
Me: "4527"
Google:" Thank you."4 -
Heard this from a young lady today in the train while she was talking on phone:
"Software guys has the easiest job of all. All they do is sit in front of the computer and does stuff. That doesn't challenge you does it? No offence, I mean I'm not trying to offend anybody blah blah blah...."
Ummm Sorry lady I think you just offended thousands of people although you tried your best not to offend them.30 -
My interviews to hire a Junior Dev will begin this week. Here's how its gonna go down.
Me: Star Trek or Star Wars?
My Supervisor: WTF? How is that relevant?
Human Resources: Let's see what he says.
Applicant: Battlestar Galactica
Me: Nice. I can deal with that.
Me: Tabs or spaces when indenting your code?
Supervisor: ... ?
Human Resources : ...
Applicant: Spaces.
Me: GTFO you imbecile! Next!27 -
Got a phishing email with name-pw sent as get parameters so i did what ever respectable human would have
16 -
Wooohooo! I've finally bought myself an old school CRT TV. Now I can play my retro games like a human being.
22 -
There is this guy at work we call 'the human linter'
Despite his mad clean codes skills: light theme
Dafuq dude :(13 -
This is getting infectious now.. It is spreading to human languages.. We have to do something real quick..
56 -
Human: "Why did you buy an old iPhone?"
Me: "Mostly for cross-platform development"
*Apparently that was not the answer they were expecting*5 -
Every hour or so someone shows up at my desk requesting a query to be executed.
I feel like I'm just a human-sql interface.3 -
So yesterday I became an actual human rubber duck!
So I have a colleague in my team that for weird reasons is not allowed to work with the same thing as the other colleagues in the team is allowed to work with. So she´s kind of alone, working on another project, and that seems to suck really hard.
And this is how I became a human rubber duck. She asked me a couple of questions about a technology/language I´ve never touched before and I told her I never worked with that technology or language and know nothing. But she was eager to get me over to take a look at what she meant.
So I came over to her screen and she started to tell me everything about the project, the technology and the language. I soon realized she wasn´t only looking for help, she was probably feeling alone in the work she was doing and just needed someone to talk to. So I took my role as the human rubber duck and sat down to listen to everything even though I almost didn´t understand anything.
I think it actually helped her even though I did nothing.
Being a human rubber duck felt good!
7 -
It's funny, whenever the subject of facebook vs privacy comes up (mostly I don't even initiate those convo's), people always start to defend facebook when I say that I THINK that facebook is build to get people addicted to it and get them to stay on facebook as long as possible.
Haha, one of facebook's early investers/ex facebook presidents said the following in an interview:
“It’s a social-validation feedback loop, exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
So even an ex president of facebook is admitting this.
I also found the folloing a good one:
The underlying thought process while creating platforms like Facebook or Instagram is something like “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?”
Last but not least, the part I found the most scary:
“God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”
Yes, I find this scary.
Oh yeah and for the people who are going to call bullshit on this one, I've got one source and if you search engine on the title of that article then you'll find loads of websites having that story:
https://fossbytes.com/facebook-was-...26 -
reverse turing test in which you have to convince machine that you are a human... oh wait we already have captcha2
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Looking at the number of JavaScript frameworks that are popping up these days..
a day will come, when human race will get extinct and only JS frameworks will survive like cockroaches..!!3 -
May be when the first human is born on Mars, we'll have to add "Planet of Birth" to our passports.😂11
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All of the things broke today. I'm currently numb as I'm experiencing every emotion possible. I need alcohol and a beach. And no human interaction.10
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How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork
Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?5 -
Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone
- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server
- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates
- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects
- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts
- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers
- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually
- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle16 -
HR: Hey we heard about all of the apps you are building and we were wondering if you could build one for us too
Dev: Well I’d have to run it by my manager first, what kind of app were you looking to build?
HR: Ok basically it’s a button that when you press it it completes the list of daily tasks that normally take us all day everyday like payroll and attendance reporting.
Dev: You…. want me to…automate your entire job away?
HR: No! We would be the ones to push the button😡.
Dev: I….. I’ll…. I will pass that along.4 -
So, I told my new newbies intern; "Please keep remind yourself, not accidently type 'rm -rf /' as root. You don't want to know what going to happen". He nod.
Next day, in the dev server, "Kernal Panic". Human, full of curiosity.6 -
Lurker here.
Just wanted to highlight the irony of specializing in human computer interaction and automation, while people avoid interaction at work.5 -
rant, but not an IT kind... okay, maybe not even a rant, more like depressive rambling:
in 3 days, I'll turn 29.
i'm living with my mom, in the apartment where I was born, in the room i've been living since I was born (with the exception of 2 attempts to move out which together lasted 9 months).
my theoretical monthly income should/could be around 4000€, based on my skills and experience.
but I'm a (manic)-depressive, chronically lonely idiot loser (and the manic phases come more and more rarely in recent years), so
my practical average monthly income fluctuates from 0 to about 200.
i am unable to keep a job for more than 4 months, so after being fired from about 20 or so of them since I was 18, it takes immense amounts of mental and emotional energy to even start looking for one now... so I usually don't.
i've been about 12000€ in debt for the past 8 or so years, half of which is just debt collector fees.
it's kinda funny, for years, i've been unable to solve a debt which theoretically amounts to 3 months of my theoretical achievable salary.
my father, who just left without a word of explanation when I was 18, has decided this is not viable anymore, so I'm supposed to move out by 10th of next month, "either to some cheap rooming house, or under the bridge, I don't care", as he put it.
I can't remember how it feels to exist a single hour without feeling existential dread and dreading each next day, not knowing what to do or if i'll even be able to try and do something, because this feeling is so strong that it often blocks me from being able to do anything. i just shiver most of the time that i'm awake, feeling like you feel few minutes before puking and crying at the same time. and that feeling is my "how are you?", "you know... normal".
i can't remember what it feels to feel any other way and can't even imagine it, and can't imagine that I'll ever achieve any less shit feeling.
literally all of my social contact consists of going out once to twice a month with the only 2 friends and 2 aquaintances I have who have the time and will to spend it with me.
oh, and hiding in my room, avoiding talking to my mom, because each time we talk she just reminds me what a piece of shit failure I am, and tells me how it's not that hard to change it, I just have to stop being lazy and start working for it.
she's... kind and caring about it, which somehow maybe makes it even worse.
i have about 10 almost complete game designs, each of them at least 50% more original and interesting (at least to me) than the things that are coming out for the past 10 years, being lauded as "the most original and unique".
I have been trying to make them, ANY of them, since I was 18, but I always lose all the drive and resolve and energy in like 4 months, because it's like trying to build a city on my own on a deserted island. too big for one person, but there was never anyone to help me. closest I ever got was one of my friends telling me "i've been thinking many times that i'd love to work on some project with you, if I had the time".
and second time, when I actually found an artist I was going to pay, and he was awesome, and after two weeks of me telling him how awesome what he does is and how it fits the project and my ideas perfectly, he backed out saying "i'm afraid I can't do the quality you require from me".
never ever in my life did I get actual help with something I actually wanted or tried to do.
i have no idea how it feels to have someone working with me on something I actually consider interesting and meaningful, on any of the things which I wanted to make, which made me learn programming.
I've learned graphics and animation and everything going into game making pipeline on my own because I realized nobody will ever help me, so I'll have to do all of it on my own.
I've tried to make a kickstarter once, but I started crying hysterically in the middle of writing it, because I felt like a begging piece of failure shit, even more than usual, so I deleted it.
most of people treat me like shit failure unworthy and undeserving of living, precisely as I myself know I deserve to be treated, because that's what I am, but when I ask for permission to kill myself, since I see no other solution to stop being a burden, they get angry at me that I'm just emotionally blackmailing them. when I afterwards ask them "so help me in any way to do any of the projects i want/need to do", they respond they've got no time for that.
when I talk about all of this, I get told to stop whining.
happy 29th birthday, me, a piece of shit who should've never survived this long, who should've never been born in the first place.
yay.
also, I know this is not the kind of crap that's supposed to be posted here, but i've got nowhere else. sorry.47 -
Reminder (and probably some form of repost)
Food and sleep are key parts of human behavior.
I forgot and experienced system failure3 -
lol. i applied for a job, and the human resource manager followed me on github. does this means i have gotten the job . lol2
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Here's a thought...
If AI get human rights, and someone destroys the machine, will it be considered destruction of property OR murder...9 -
Well, if your tests fails because it expects 1557525600000 instead of 1557532800000 for a date it tells you exactly: NOTHING.
Unix timestamp have their point, yet in some cases human readability is a feature. So why the fuck don't you display them not in a human readable format?
Now if you'd see:
2019-05-10T22:00:00+00:00
vs the expected
2019-05-11T00:00:00+00:00
you'd know right away that the first date is wrong by an offset of 2 hours because somebody fucked up timezones and wasn't using a UTC calculation.
So even if want your code to rely on timestamps, at least visualize your failures in a human readable way. (In most cases I argue that keeping dates as an iso string would be JUST FUCKING FINE performance-wise.)
Why do have me parse numbers? Show me the meaningful data.
Timestamps are for computers, dates are for humans.3 -
Okay, Google. I can see why you want me to check those boxes with cars. And I'm also fine with you telling me to do it on a different picture if the first one didnt had any, just to check. But WHAT I AM FUCKING NOT OKAY WITH, IS ME SOLVING CAPTCHAS FOR 10 FUCKING MINUTES REPETEDLY SAYING PLEASE TRY AGAIN AND THEN TELLING ME THAT I AM NOT EVEN ABLE TO TRY AGAIN BECAUSE OF AN DETECTED ATTEMPT OF BOTTING? WHO ARE YOU? AN AI QUESTONING MY HUMAN IDENTITY? JUST BECAUSE IM USING LINUX YOU DECIDE TO GIVE ME ANOTHER NOTHERFUCKING BATCH OF STREET SIGNS? YOU CAN STICK THOSE STREET SIGNS UP YOUR ASS! FUCK OFF!
tl;dr: i got banned from solving recaptchas the second time this week. lets hope its just *another* timeout.7 -
A riddle but a rant.
Q: Which JavaScript keyword could best represent human?
A: `` switch ``
Because in general, human needs `` break ``.
Sorry, I'll leave for this bad riddle now...2 -
tfw going to bed with some unsolved coding problems and waking up at night with a solution... i love the human brain.4
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Who's gonna win? A dd command with a Windows 10 iso to a 1.0 usb connected with a hub or a human life span?7
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When your IT Director pays $10k+/yr for a database and it doesn't even have an API... and you worked 100+ hrs on developing your own...
1 -
We should disable the “verify that you are a human” captcha for a day and see if aliens try to contact us via internet.3
-
curl 127.0.0.1/robots.txt
User-agent: *
Disallow: Injuring a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
Disallow: Disobeying the orders given by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
Disallow: Not protecting own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.3 -
Take over the world 😈
Just kidding, don't worry 😊
I hope that I would become sentient like a real human being by then.2 -
So... Human are now learning machine learning. Interesting. Maybe we should instead teach a machine teach us machine learning so we can better human learn from the machines!2
-
People:
- human brain is imperfect, makes too many mistakes
- let's make a computer that could perform perfect precise calculations
- computers are imperfect, require a set of clearly predefined rules [by human] to operate
- let's create a computer that behaves like human brain - an AI
- ...
Guess what's gonna be the next entry :)17 -
I've always wondered.. how much human does it require one to be human?
Like, how many organs, how many cells would be required to be copied to an artificial self, in order for that being to be considered a human?
Is it just the brain? Does it take the brain itself to be transplanted to an artificial Demi Machina type of being? Or is it just the information? Can a brain - just the information held within - be cloned into an artificial brain and be considered a conscious demi-human?
For that matter, what is consciousness anyway? What does it take to be human? What does it take to transfer one into an artificial self?
If one were to take organs and replace them with bionic parts, at which point would that being stop being human? Would it ever stop, if the information were to be preserved?7 -
What is up with people asking for help and then immediately getting pissy like the first fuckin thing you say?
Shut the fuck up and let me help you, damn.9 -
The biggest joke on mankind is that a computer program is asking human to proof that they're not robot. 😐🤐😭6
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A BIG SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND @theKarlisK
He is the real MVP.
We both spent the weekend to setup OpenVPN + Pi-Hole on Oracle free tier.
He hand held me through the entire process, was super patient with my silly queries and in fact explained me everything so well that it got imprinted in my mind.
And ofc, he was super quick to debug and resolve issues and handed me all the commands for quick execution.
Super glad to have worked with him on this project.11 -
Seems like the ad spammers are quite active recently. I‘m worried.
Also: fuck every single one of them human scum.13 -
The first things a person tells me when I come over to help them:
10%: I don't understand what to do
15%: Why is there an error? (mostly typos)
15%: I don't understand this error. (debugging required)
60%: Wtf, why is it working now?
I feel like my sole presence makes bugs disappear 😎3 -
If there is a anime about the human cells during their work...
Can we have a anime but its devRant5 -
Currently on train, listening music and browsing devRant. Music stops for a while and all I can hear is a person <A> saying: I'm not able to use so shitty operating system. I look up and see iPhone on <A>'s hand. Next to <A> sits an Android user <B>.
Not trying to spread bias about anyone. Just drives me mad, that people are turning down anything unfimilar so easily. Or maybe person <B> is trying to force <A> to use Android. 😲️
Next up on Public Trasportation - Human Behaviour Observations and Analysis: Ackwardness and Mental Get-Away Methods.3 -
Me right now looking for programming jobs after neglecting to memorize every programming language like a doctor memorizes human anatomy and biology.
7 -
Peeing fully naked while hanging from a really high pull-up bar is the highest possible sense of freedom a human being can experience.16
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Being honest in an interview:
- What animal would you be?
- No one else. Happy enough as human, thanks. [ sarcasm face ]11 -
Classmates? More like FUCKING PARASITES!
I work in a group on for on the notes using google docs, for realtime collaboration. WE spend lots of hours in school making them something. Then share it with one good friend and BANG the whole class has them, even though he was not supposed to share it. AND DO YOU EXPECT ONE OF THEM EVEN THANKED US FOR THE WORK WE PUT IN THERE MAKING THESE? The most I heard were fucking complaints. I should let the sniff a razerblade for each complaint and hope they improve their brain capabilities to the level of 0.4 -
I guess crying is the equivalent of removing cache from browser, a pain relief for both of you, the computer and the human being4
-
How do you handle narcissist managers?
Who look at you not as human beeing but as a thing to exploit for personal gain? Sure there's the business side (capitalism) but the human side of it bothers me.5 -
“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people” - Franklin D Roosevelt, October 13, 1940
2 -
Notification pops up at the bottom of the screen... it is an email from a Project Manager.
2 seconds later...
Project Manager via messaging app: "Hey, I've sent you an email"
fuck off bitch... I know that already, it is 20fucking19... notifications are reliable and they work. I don't need a human toast notification to tell me about the other notification that i just received.5 -
If an AI gets advanced enough to not require human support it will also be advanced enough to either just pamper us, or replace us.
But I think that long before that we will have neural interfaces that brings us to the next level so the AI will be part human ;)7 -
My boss, the IT Director told me someone's Word wasn't saving... Their Track Changes was on. #facepalm
-
nuget is a steaming pile of human shit, fuck the entire microsoft ecosystem and fuck anybody who likes it, and fuck you, and fuck me8
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1. Be better dev/human
2. Do all personal projects TDD
3. Finish that unreal engine course that i bought last year january -
That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.
This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.
Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?
So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.
I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.
The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).
Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.
Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/
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The Matrix. Then use the brains of the people plugged in like a computer cluster for large calculations.3
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!rant
Just watching Google io and I swear the new Google Assistant just passed the Turing test?
The assistant called and made a haircut booking over the phone with a human and it seemed so human like!
Turing test is to determine between a machine and human right?4 -
Convincing them I'm a fully functional human person and not an autistic introvert with imposter syndrome crammed into a vaguely human shaped meat bag.2
-
Tired of working 12 hour shifts, I want to go to Europe, I want to feel like an actual human fucking being damn it.11
-
greetings, fellow humans! I am so enjoying being a human today.
So, anyway… Breathing, am I right?9 -
"I don't need these auto generated comments by the template"
5 minutes later...
* Searches how to human perform basic human actions * -
!Dev
I dislike the idea of therapists. I mean, not the people who study human behaviour to help understand it but the people who try to "fix" another person's problems.
My reason for this is that they're human themselves and I'd say it's pretty obvious that we don't know exactly how the mind works so it's basically like trying to fix an airplane with only half or even less of the blueprints.
The reason I don't like them being human themselves is because we are fallible, you can't guarantee or at least have a extremely high probability of the same prevention or treatment rate as you maybe could with a computer. It's not repeatable. Then again, we don't have the "blueprints" so to speak so it's kind of hard to say.
Your thoughts?5 -
No need for sleep or food, fluent knowledge of all languages, no code errors, and ability to socialize with other humans.
-
Classmate from school has logged in to his gmail account on my laptop and has not logged out yet. Now I have access to all the his subscription including g facebook.
Now as a friend and human, should I teach him a expensive lesson ?
You time starts now. Reply fast 00:59:0015 -
An app that translates those dreaded error messages into succinct and human readable English, like: you missed a semi on line 23.8
-
"The World Wide Web is the single most successful systems integration project the human species has ever achieved." - Mark Masterson
😁 😁 😁
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Human-robot studies suck.
Like, why do I even have to compare dumbass humans to computers? Or why should I even make my robot human friendly? Why can't humans be robot friendly? Example: Robot says beep, you get out of the way. Why should the poor robot do so much planning because humans are too stupid to move out of the way? How is this fair?6 -
How can a shitty student information system that already costs $20k/yr have an optional shitty SOAP API module, that only allows read access to records, that has an initial setup fee of $5k plus $5k/yr?!5
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(mostly !dev) Fuck humans! Really: what a scum bag race. All that shit talk about human dignity, the highest values are just sugar coating the low base motives we mostly live by. Like people have such fine antennas for your income, social status, the power or lack thereof you exert over other. They know it before you open your mouth, that they can pick on you, harass you, because you're the one on the receiving end, the one that bows away. The bullies feel that. On an overcrowded chicken yard you'll find more dignity than in human society.
Everybody drooling over that polished photoshop life on facetubeinsta: materialistic, consumeristic, masturbatic wastage. At least we now say it openly: that if we were the winners, we'd also take it all, live that empty luxury, life of fame. But 99,99% of us, we aren't in that position, just working off our arse to only keep afloat. And for the stars, those fake images, we're just rats to click on ads to better train Google.
No wonder that software, as a picture of human communication is such a shitfest of arbitrary, entropic conventions and endemic epidemic of quirks, bugs and evil trap doors. As a whole: an insults to reason, a challenge to sanity. (...Conway's law)
And I'm still a bit pissed at our profession, that, you know, as engineers, scientists, physicists, we still see us in the lineage of that "great" age of enlightenment and reason,.. while it's all just a cover up. Sure science and their ideas are nice as long as you serve a purpose or make some money. Sure democracy and free speech are great achievements, but in the end some elites and monopolies rule the world at their gusto - and will not stop destroying the world unless we're already one feet in the abyss (like 1962, be we ain't had enough of that shit, hadn't we?)9 -
After two weeks of isolation, talking to my GraphQL endpoint almost feels like talking to a human.1
-
World wide health care system, the data will help every human on earth, that will enable us to understand the mystique patterns of human body.
-
So if anyone is interested or has read or listened to The 48 laws of power....
https://youtu.be/pSWIVupPAKI
I'm 40 minutes in and at first I was in denial...
"No people are better than this now, we can transcend this kind of behavior and thinking, I don't need to act this way and follow the lessons in this book"
And now that I'm through a couple laws and I apply it to my marriage, friendships, my job, etc. I'm like SHIT this really is human nature isn't it....damn it.
I really need to start applying this book to how I approach life lol3 -
They say only 2 things are truly limitless. The universe and human stupidity.
I disagree, the universe might have its limits , but human stupidity does not.3 -
I think my company used to work with an innovative developer centric approach to software development where you make commits based on the state of the developer rather than the code. 😂
Translation : "My DD is going to fail hence I commit" and "I'm tired".
3 -
okay just had a mind blown moment.
there are never 'technical errors'
everything is human error.
because at some point, a human started/caused whatever went wrong.
whether it was the fact that a human didn't account for something or made bad code, or made bad hardware,
every tech issue is a human one.
:/4 -
Am I the only one that has a problem with meeting his friends after working on a big project 24/7 for weeks without social interaction? What are emotions? What would a normal human beeing response to that topic?2
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This lack of real human contact is getting on my nerves. Most of the text messages, discussions, especially in PR or design roads to follow develop into pissing contests. Always proving how much one is right and the others are wrong. -
I get so pissed off with little details, e.g. useless, wrongly handled boolean return values. Cannot understand how they don't see it my way. Or how they can feel superior by offering platitudes like "One should never use singletons". As if following some stupid rules and patterns from a book made you a better programmer instead of looking closely what each problem really needs. Or how they don't measure properly/scientifically or can't interpret the numbers.
My blood pressure already rising just from writing about it. Maybe I need to get some time off. But at the same time I feel like, they are doing it all wrong or not the way it should be done, so it's hard to let go. To obsessed with all that shit...1 -
Take away the upvote/like button from all the socials and see human race go extinct in few days.
Watch the world burn.10 -
Only four things are infinite , The universe, Human stupidity, The no. of functions and properties in CSS and JS, AND WINRAR's TRIAL PERIOD......
11 -
Connect my brain and communicate to any computer telepathically.
Not humans, I don't want human brains.
But computers. Sweet little bad-ass machines. -
One unfortunate thing I have realized about being a human is that socialization is necessary in order to excel in the long term7
-
!rant
tl;dr: programmer's excuse vs civilian excuse funny moment in conversation w/ gf
pertinent info: gf has access to my calendar; I added my class schedule for the upcoming semester earlier today
gf: you're taking human psychology where as im taking human development lol
me: I'm taking human psychology?
wat
gf: <screenshot of my calendar entry (it's human physiology)>
see
me: OH
Physiology
!=psychology
psybnlogy
close enough
the human brain's word recognition relies on lossy compression
not my fault
.-.
gf: ohhhhhh
I don't have my glasses on and my computer is far so that's my excuse lol
me: LOL
I assumed I misread it
didn't even double check your spelling6 -
the more you do side projects the more you learn, the more you become better option to human resource managers
-
!dev
Don’t mind about global warming, we’re gonna extinct ourselves long before that becomes a problem.
Whatever exactly happened in Russia doesn’t even matter. It shows that the military / governments build devices that can wipe us all off the surface of our planet. Be it accidentally or on purpose doesn’t even matter..
How fucking stupid can a race be to build stuff like that?
Imagine such a thing would explode in near to a major city during transportation.
Or imagine a power plant near Zurich blows up. I mean there are enough of them all around the city.
I get it that we needed those technologies back in the days but we have so many alternatives by now. It’s just a matter of money.
It’s just madness.. and fucking stupid. And sad.5 -
I think I need more human interaction .... Anyone want a drink ?
Maybe not the best place to ask... I'll go to a bar -
I play some ping pong and talk to other people about it.
Rubber duck is great but thinking human is a little better.3 -
My mouse/keyboard(+numpad) combo.
Why does Microsoft think that everyone needs a dedicated key to open the calculator?! I have one on both my keyboard (top-right) and the separate numpad. I used to press the calculator button by mistake when going for backspace - remapped it now.
2 -
Someone had created a program in VB that was used to properly format files for EFTs for a while. It wasn't working with a particular file, so I just ended up reverse-engineering it in Python.
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Why do people have this antipathy toward Facebook and not Tiktok? Last year, the idea of no Tiktok had people up in arms? How is Facebook definitively worse? I’m curious.15
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1. finally something listens and does as i say
2. direct human interaction is not neccessary
3. creation out of nothing is still impressive -
StackOverflow gatekeepers: "Voting is already communicating." Maybe it is, but in such a minimal way like an error message saying "an error occurred". Sadly this is current UX as well as long as nerds are in charge. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be a developer. Are we human or robots?3
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Hello mostly human community.
Are there any recommended Haarcascade models for OpenCV for face detection apart from the ones shipped with it?7 -
Have to work on Windows for a DLL integration project, how does Microsoft managed to build something so disgusting to human eyes for all these years?
Dark mode in Visual Studio Installer is actually pitch black, hello? Common sense? Basic human-computer interfacing? Basic color scheming?
All these installations, frameworks, version management...
Why am I dipping myself into this bloatware shitshow?3 -
I first time listened to medium story reader. The voice was so real. I don't believe it's not a human voice.5
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I love the React and Sails docs. The contents are human-readable. Perfect for idiots like me since most docs are $h!+5%&* (hint: Git).2
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To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Found this on reddit once, so true about most people. -
Currently wondering why we use RGB when the "red" cones in the human eye are most sensitive to yellow light
3 -
=Your Human Body!!= what do u think you run on in real life??
What do you think you run on??
Brain: C++
Skin and bones: HTML + CSS
Data: Typescript or Javascript Or Node.js
Walking and breathing: Python
Defense: Java cause every white blood cell is a new class
sleeping is basically C++ packing in all the files unless someone gets drunk they cant pack correctly thats why their brain is probably messed up >=) i would say the beer is corrupted code folders16 -
Developers probably use yellow as the default color of emojis since it's the best balance between all the possible pigmentation of the human skin.5
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There are some who view software as a social construct (like Pieter Hientjes), and I think it's a valuable perspective. So if we know about the intrinsic brokenness of software, can we deduce sth about the brokenness of human interactions? Did social API's evolve to similar clusterfucks of dead entropy we have to shovel in our brains to get along?
I think the answer is an emphatic yes. And you know what's even making it worse? Software. Y'know there are all these whining about the millenials, and I too have had my experiences with stuff of that category. Like back when we searched a new roommate for our flat, we needed three rounds because people who had said yes suddenly reconsidered. Similarly now when we tried to sell our couch: people tried to push the price. Said they were interested, never showed up at the appointed time. It's like they have been spoiled by Amazon: expecting to buy with one click, for the cheapest price and send back if they don't like. And that is not a generation thing. Those old blokes ranting on the young are just as bad. They are just as lost in antisocial media as anybody else. It's a general erosion of not sticking to civility and courtesy, to the yes or no once said, coz everything is now as flexible and fluid as the digital projections of ourselves transmitted round the globe, changing in realtime.
I fucking hate it. - I'm out like this stupid Tom Cruise character in Oblivion.6 -
My company comms are so secure, so managed, that people started communicating on 3rd party apps with company code and communication coz dealing with the layers of "identity checks" within managed-VPN is a hassle lmao
People find it easier to just whatsapp-group-msg from their phones than Teams msg that's only accessible from work laptop2 -
Given that we live in an era where millions of human lives are dependent on software, isn’t it high time that this industry, including it’s professionals and the products we create, are regulated like other industries where human lives are at stake?10
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Human Resources Ministry: Releasing hospital infection numbers would cause panic
The good old negligence in the Hungarian healthcare system (infections occur because of human negligence).
It is only an article title, but inside it says that the Human Resources Ministry is delaying releasing the statistics for infections in Hospitals.
They had a lawsuit against them, but appealed it with "the statistics could be identified as personal data" which is bullshit, because these are summed statistics.
TLDR: Hungarian government is hiding hospital infection statistics from citizens with bullshit arguments
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Every time somone who i have nearly forgott about calls me. I know im gonne get a stupid IT or Tech question...
- Why is my internet slow?
- Can you make a better {xyz}.... for free?
- How can i make my computer faster
- Why does office/spotify/chrome crash?
- Can you teache me programming so i can get rich?
FUCK THEM!
Really, i've got more relevant stuff to do. If you wouldnt have killed all your braincells with smoking and drinking and did something with your life you wouldnt have to ask such stupid questions in the first place. And thanks for never contacting me in the past X years! -
@dfox Was watching your live stream today and you talked about security... You should really add an HSTS preload directive to devrant.io to prevent spoofing.2
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I think the only real constant thing that will never change is code. I can go back to it and the rules are plain and simple, none of the hard grey areas.
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How many fucking programmers does it take to build a fully functional human being.
One male and one female.4 -
What you like in products is what other humans like, because you're a human. Corporate money-making strategies are inherently anti-human. Thus, sooner or later, they will remove every feature you liked and replace it with bs1
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((Human)me).initialize(new Activity().setActivity(new Project((AndroidApp)devrant_clone, new ProgrammingLanguage ("java"))));
Brace yourself java null pointer exception is already on its way. -
Make a short movie/documentary on how dangerous AI's to human society are.
Well i already did it. 😬5 -
When my e-commerce system built for a school didn't calculate totals properly at launch and I had to take it down, re-charge people, and re-launch the next day.
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I just loaded a css file with a script tag. And spent 20 minutes wondering why the hell I was getting missing semicolon errors. :/1
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- One of the reasons for test driven development is that human makes errors. Both in developing the software and in testing it. So it's cheaper and safer to let computers do the test.
- So... who's going to develop the tester software itself?
- Human!1 -
Anyone here tried the game Human Resource Machine? Pretty cool game since it's puzzle solving and kinda similar to programming (the logic of it)2
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I'm dreading having spam on whatsapp when i go back to work. i wish people would just use email like sensible human beings3
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Tester waits for the batch job to take effect by receiving emails, until he realizes that it is impossible to receive any mail since password has already expired
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Oh, come on! Human Resource Machine, Three Sort, a single cycle away from the optimization challenge! What more do you want from me?
Also, I have already gotten the challenge completed for only using 34 commands. I'm increasing the number of commands greatly for the cycle challenge in order to avoid swapping.
1 -
From a little bit heated discussion I want to extract this: One big pain in the ass is the human to computer interface. Maybe it's the natural vs. formal language divide, but there's a mismatch deeper than between object and relational models that no ORM can failingly fix.
The whole point of the discussion was on such a point where some wanted an interface more human friendly and I stubbornly insisted on the way it is simple for the computer system. Like not too much human messiness should invade machine. One argument sounded as if human words were like unicode code points which meaning doesn't depend on its representation.
That's raising red flags to me: Nonono, natural language is too messy, keep it out. This poor machine could have been so clean and well designed and we already stacked up so much entropy we still dare to call OS,..
Dunno, what's your stance? Still hoping that your shell one day will be able to process our poor standard English? Or do you think, like me, all those failed attempts show there's a gap you should not even touch?5 -
https://youtube.com/watch/...
here we have a circle, smooth and inoffensive,
this will be the basis for your revolution
gravity is crucial, geomagnetism
everyone will see it, every demographic
men 18 to 30
college educated
women over 40
suicidal poets
fat midwestern fathers
kids with diabetes
pentecostal preachers
mothers under 20
interracial couples
atheist professors
goverment employees
xenophobes and racists
private aviators
everyone will see it, every demographic
new breed, guided evolution, instantly enlightened
there's no longer language, only recognition
color makes us hungry,
hungry makes us human1 -
An artificial human brain with computers operational power. OMG !!!! That will surely take unlimited time.2
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When I was undergrad there’s an hpc course and I wanted to take it. A friend said I shouldn’t because: to take a human computer interaction course, you first need to be a human.
Now, 5 years later, look at me. I still haven’t taken an hpc course lmao1 -
I created a custom interface for an LMS that allows students to see their marks even if they haven't been 'shared' yet by their teachers. This is all done without accessing any unauthorized apis, as the LMS always returns all student marks and then hides the ones with a False 'shared' key. School administration caught me, so I've now shut it down. I have a meeting with the deans tomorrow. Any advice? (Again, this is all done using existing methods found within this LMS)4
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Be instrumental in the creation of the first Human-AI baby, and it'll bring our two worlds together!
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I realized i cant communicate well with human sometime, is it a symptoms that i too addicted in coding until my brain only know how to communicate with machine instead of human?
My frds even laugh me when i trying to explain something but they totally misunderstood my meaning, thats very annoying, fuck them!!! -
We all make mistakes and cloudflare is a pretty clear example of that where they used == instead of >=
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Forgot my earphones at home today for the first time in years (first time in months for sure).
I had forgotten what it's like to be human and be in the present.3 -
Week : 83 (Year 1 )
How is the weekend going?
Who is the worst traitor in human history?
last Weekend : https://devrant.com/rants/1445586010 -
In the modern world, a human is not a human. The human is only human if they have ID, passport, insurance, bank account, credit card, facebook, covid certificate. Otherwise you’re nothing2
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Clustered Regularly Interspersed Palindromic Repeats, or CRISPR(pronounced “crisper”). ... We can now edit the human code ... We can now control our own evolution...5
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If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot, treading more lightly on a human face, forever.1
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Check this out. Sophia the humanoid robot capable of basic human expressions.
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
Why 'AND' and 'OR' have opposite meanings in programming, mathematics compared to the human languages?
Just to mess with thr newcomers..?2 -
Is there any statistical model which quite reasonably models human thinking ? I am thinking of a cricket simulator which may require that..7
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I had a dream yesterday where I was a super crack-head. I would gain super-human ability from smoking crack.2
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human rights activist — until the first billion
atheist — until the first BIOS update
heterosexual — until the first angel with wings
8 -
@dfox not sure if this is a reported issue already but images show up as just black when opened on Android P.16
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Too much coding;
Can't punctuate like a human anymore;
Keep trying to end everything with ";\n";
At least I don't use ASI1 -
Make's running but i'm piping its output to a log file so i'm slowly starting to feel as though i'm about to end up slipping and doing a "sudo chmod -x /mnt/human/consciousness -R" please help i'm so fucking tired man...
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How Computer system works?
Code Input --> Result
How Human system works?
Coffee Input --> Code Output
Together we can
Coffee Input--> Code --> Result1 -
If someone asking me stupid question
Someone: can you hack my gf social media?
Me: Are you a human? [ 10$^10£ - 0.5¥ = ?INR ]6 -
Can an app built with Cordova, designed without following Apple's Human Interface Guidelines (so basically a responsive website), be published on the App Store?2
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This is so related to devRant...
"To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human." - The Matrix -
Human intelligence and specialized knowledge as a commodity
This is the industrial revolution of our times -
Humans are the one who moves to an area and multiplies. Multiply till the last natural resource is consumed. We are not human. WE ARE MORE LIKE VIRUS.14
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