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Why can't they just leave me alone!?
I was using my laptop. (Linux) and I have it set up so that I do basically everything from command line.
My teacher then walks by (he was checking on people) then he sees me.
I was using a split terminal setup with a client web browser and nano open. (I was taking notes)
He sees this and like all teachers, he immediately decides that I am hacking.
So.. I saw him and was like "fuck.. this will be interesting"...
To keep this short,
I got in trouble then he spent for ever telling me about how much trouble I could get in for using "that thing" (a terminal)..
I have lost hope in all teachers..
This isn't the first time too..33
Biggest hurdle: torn between having boobs and missing an arm. I swear some people are under the assumption the brain is in the arm.
I am fully capable of building your network, resolving your outage due to your faulty code, can even tell you how many users your database can support at once. I don't need arms for that. Nor do my boobs distract me that badly.
"but men are going to make your life so hard" yup. And that's true no matter where i go
"all that typing with one arm can't be good for your back" welp. Find me a job that doesn't require a computer. Or manual labor. If you think typing will fuck me up, that's DEFINITELY out of the equation
"you're too pretty, there's no way this can make sense" dafuq you just say?!?!
"why don't you just stay home on disability, I'm sure you qualify, you wouldn't need to work" I'd rather be a fucking trophy wife if I'm staying at home. Fuck that.
And many more.
Sometimes they're fun. Give me more dumb arguments to counter? ;)55
Friend: Hey! How do you uh... alt tab out of the game?
Me: *wtf* Uhhh... You press alt tab.
Friend: *after 10 seconds* Oh! That’s why it is called alt tab.
Me: *crying laugh emoji*5
Me: "I did it, I finally finished implementing the design!"
Designer: "The client wants a complete overhaul of the design."5
Imagine being fucking stupid
So there is this dude at school
He's fucking stupid, but pretends to be smart
Runs a Linux computer because he is "too smart for Windows"
It's Linux Mint
Does everything with a terminal
Seems OK so far
What he does to perform a simple action is despicable. First, he whips out vim. He types out one single line that he needs to execute, saves the file as bash and runs it.
Everyone is somehow amazed
I'm also amazed
At how stupid some people are29
Just had a feedback session.
Apparently one of my colleague has a problem with me.
The irony is - I didn't even knew the guy's fucking name until now.
"Arch Linux is actually not that difficult".
I ssh'ed into my home server yesterday.
I was greeted by a message from an ext3 disk about needing fsck. Fine, "I haven't been in here for a while, might as well do some maintenance". fsck /dev/sda6, let's go!
This nicely "repaired" the sshd service (i.e. cleared the sectors), I cursed at myself for pressing enter at "repair (y)" right before the connection broke.
So I connected a display and keyboard... ok so let's just pacman -Sy sshd or whatever. We can do this! Just check the wiki, shouldn't be that hard!
Wait... pacman has not run since 2010? WAIT IT'S ACTUAL UPTIME IS 9 YEARS??? I guess we know why I'm a DB admin and not devops...
Hmm all the mirrors give timeouts? Oh. The i686 processor architecture isn't even supported anymore...?
4 hours, 11 glasses of cognac, 73 Arch32 wiki/forum pages, 2 attempts at compiling glibc, and 4 kernel panics later: "I think I'll buy a new server".18
Resume: experience in c, c++, java and Android.
Recruiter: DO YOU HAVE 10+ YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH SWIFT AND IOS??!!8
So, I was talking to a recruiter..... After 15 minutes of telling her what I do.....She asked are you into coding?1
Me: Open terminal on current folder
Me: Copy path of current folder
Me: Delete this desktop icon (Delete key)
Me: Lets move this icon to trash
Mac: Alrighty then, delete application.
Man i will have a hard time getting used to this, Windows had its cons but these small things made my life easier.20
So, I sign up for devrant and read all about the school devops fuckery everyone seems to have.
The only problem is, computers at my school's lab has no internet access and only a pirated copy of.... Visual Studio *6*. Hell, that's 5 years older than I am.
No python, no git, nothing. The best part, you ask? They use VS6 just for teaching 9th graders Visual Basic, and for C and C++, they use TurboC++ in DOSBox. 25-year old software. They teach us Pre-ANSI C++.
No fucking wonder people from here re-learn everything on the job. I jumped the gun and started messing with basic C++ in 7th grade, and then had to go back and remember that 25 years ago, they used <iostream.h> instead of just <iostream>.
Everyone just saves their code in the TC/BIN folder in DOS too, making it more of a chaotic mess than anything ever imaginable.
Bringing your own device? Too bad that's against the school rules.
The fact that they went out of their damn way to make me use TurboC in DOSBox on Windows 7 instead of giving me a sane Linux install with an editor and GCC is just... ugh.
My classmates all think I work magic, while all I really do is simple logic. Schools here in India are almost universally terrible.
Well, it's a good thing I started learning it on my own, because if I thought programming was in any way similar to how they try to teach it to us, I would've given up a long time ago.22
On call part 3: I'M BACK ON THE CAL FROM YESTERDAY FOR THE LAST 6.5 HOURS AND THEY'RE JUST DOING WHAT I TOLD THEM TO DO YESTERDAY. Is it because I'm female? Does having boobs mean I don't know how ssl works and that I can't possibly know about networks? I'm seriously about to just hang up and tell them to deal with it on their own.
Cup is there because it expresses my mood.12
Phone rings, recruiter: "hi Scott just come across your CV and really want to talk to you about an exciting opportunity"
Me: "Ok, cool, can I just qualify this call, what was the keyword search you used to find my profile?"
Recruiter: "it's for a Java developer role for an exciting employer"
Me: "so you matched me on a Java training course I did 8 years ago?"
Recruiter: "ok, but I see you're fully qualified in c#"
Me: "you mean the support developer role from 5 years ago?"
Recruiter: "listen it's a pretty bad line can I call you on a land line or drop you an email?"
Me: "sure drop me an email with your contact details and I'll give you a call back"
Still waiting on that email...
Why can't recruiters just admit straight away that they blindly called you without even reading your CV10
tl;dr Either I'm being incredibly touchy, or half of everyone I've interacted with is being a total jerk to me today.
I also feel like I'd be overreacting if I responded in a bitchy way, so =/ I must be nice despite everyone's behavior.
I don't want to people today.
I want to sleep.10
and the award for most downvotes stackoverflow post, is… well, stackoverflow. I posted this a while ago, but it got much better. -247, what a beautiful number. apparently there's a stackechange app, but instead of fixing its bugs, they made a stackoverflow app that does the same thing. go and give those cocksuckers a big, fat downvote! more pics and link in comments.7
I was working on a website for a client and he wanted an illegal (breaking TOS) functionality and I refused to implement that part so he paid me $800 less than what he owed me. Unfortunately there was no real contract besides some emails detailing the specs and payment, and if I pushed it any further he would've charged back the money he already paid me. Basically I'm screwed :/
I guess now I know how important it is to get those contracts and detailed specs written out from the very beginning.18
I am leaving my job from a very big company with very high paying package for doing my own startup.
1 month notice period on.10
These mother fuckers know when I'm packed up and ready to go to work and decide that's the perfect fucking time to call me. WHY COULDN'T YOU CALL WHILE I WAS STILL LOGGED IN AND DIDN'T HAVE TO LOG THE FUCK BACK IN, WAIT 90 YEARS FOR THE VIRTUAL MACHINE TO LOG ME IN and then tell me your issue self resolved. Come down to my office and bring me coffee for being so damn annoying before I'm sufficiently caffeinated.4
1. Learn python
2. Start a project and see it through
1. Learn how to initialize variables in python
2. Make plans for 20192
WHY can I only make digital payments on weekdays, 7:00-16:00?? Its not like there's a human authorizing all transactions. And computers don't sleep!!4
All bankers are fuckers, fuckin assholes.
I went to bank today.
Gave my card to swipe and he gave me the machine to enter my pin
I entered it
But then it wasn't the actual PIN
He retried it, but now he didn't give me the machine to enter the PIN, he asked me (whaaat...)
I denied to reveal my PIN
He asked me again and again I still denied.
At last that asshole cancelled the transaction.
And told me to write the deposit slip
Why should I write the slip when I have the card.
Whats wrong with that guy
Why should I give my PIN to him
These assholes come to work at 10 and leave at 3 and their pride is at the peak. They live on our money and showing superiority on us.
I hate them.10
Reason #387 I wish I worked from home:
Some dude at this office needs to be banned from toilets. I'm pretty sure he craps in his hand then tries to swat it into the bowl with a slotted spoon.2
On call: part 2... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO ASK US TO STOP RESTORING *YOUR* SERVICES SO *YOUR* CUSTOMER HAS ACCESS TO *YOUR* STUFF BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SLEEP. If you call me because shits down, I'm going to fucking fix it. Idgaff if you're tired because it's been an 8 hour day, I've been working for 15 hours and I am contractually obligated to get this shit up asap and you needing your fucking beauty sleep is not a damn good reason to fuck up my contact...
(They got my boss' boss' boss' boss' boss' boss on the line who told them that but nicer -its why she gets paid more- and they still insisted. But at least they owe US more money to cover some *legal contractual mumbled jargon* it makes it better, and it's documented so they can't turn it around on us)
Will someone please send coffee? I have 2 more days of this.7
Another hackathon is over.
Didn't win this one either but I am slowly recognising my weaknesses and (hopefully) getting better.
A good night's sleep and I'm ready for the next one. :)
Beyond Hackathon 2017 @ Athens, Greece6
I had a recruiter contact me today, calling me Andrew in the process. Believe it or not my name isn't Andrew, and the email address they sent it to was me@MYFULLNAME.com, so they should be able to get my name right.
I responded to them pointing that out and advising they never contact me again. (In a somewhat sassy way).
In a well crafted apology I was informed that they had a great track record and that mistakes happen. Here's the email's subject line:
RE: Hi.. opportunity in New Haven, CT (Downtown- next to train station)- RUDE DO NOT CONTACT EVER AGAIN
I responded more kindly that I appreciated the apology but the subject line confirmed my position of "not interested."
This was followed up by them trying to "recall" the email, and resend it... Like I didn't notice the insult in the subject line of your apology...
Nicely done, nicely done.8
My dad got a job at TD (bank)
We where talking about their computers and stuff. Then we started talking about passwords.
Keeping in mind that this is a bank....
Here is their password rule:
6-12 char long
All lower case
Only letters and numbers
(Passwords are stored on a legacy system)
Why should I trust that bank??
And also.. how do they expect to be extremely secure??10
Fuck npm and the whole npm community!
Seriously, what a piece of completely uncontrolled cat litter!
First experience was getting malware from an npm package which I ranted about a while ago. That it can even happen is beyond my imagination.
Second experience was today when our app broke because a fucker who wrote a library doesn't understand semantic versioning.
If you're gonna publish an npm library, please do the whole fucking world a favour and learn how to version your shit correctly, so my app doesn't break! If you do BREAKING CHANGES don't change the fucking last version number you filthy piece of garbage!
Phew, that felt good 😧3
HR, why so stupid?
I'm currently living in Sweden, want to move to Austria (significant other is studying there, I'm finishing my studies over here)
Me: *Applies for a Junior Java Dev job via company's online platform*
HR1: We like your CV, be here for an interview in person in 5 days.
Me: That's expensive, can we do it via Skype? I'm still in Sweden.
HR1: How are you planning on working in Austria while living in Sweden?
Me: I'm not. I'll move to Austria in 2 months. That's when I'd like to start working with you.
Me: *wonders why they skipped that part in my CV/cover letter as it's clearly stated there*
HR2: We're sorry to tell you that the position of Senior Database Engineer has been filled. May we use your CV for other potential openings at our company?
Me: No worries, I applied for Junior Java Dev anyways. You may use my CV for other openings.
HR2: Oh, sorry for the confusion. I just mistyped the job title.
Me: *WTF? That was a machine-generated answer. Your system filed my application in the wrong place. You didn't mistype shit.*
HR1: Oh good for you. We've suddenly found out we need a Junior Java Dev as well as a Senior Database Engineer. Do you have time for a Skype interview this afternoon?
HR1: Tomorrow then?4
Get this, at college we were told to use PHP7 for development right? All good, PHP7 is awesome and all, so we have to make a big project for college and put it on the school's server... now here's the pickle...
THEIR SERVER RUNS FUCKING PHP5.X
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? DON'T FUCKING TELL US WE SHOULD USE PHP7 AND THEN DON'T SUPPORT PHP7 FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK6
if a recruiter calls me one more time about an "exciting opportunity" 500 miles away, I'm gonna punch a baby in the face.7
When you are coding, put your coffeepot on fire, and forgot about it for two hours.
My life suck tonight.12
"Ok,. so your saying that its gonna take you 63 hrs to create a simplified CRM with basic functionality and auto fill docs or automated work flow docs as an added feature?"
My response (after already under-quoting and planning on cutting some corners because he has a smaller budget than normally necessary):
"It sounds simpler than it is. There are a lot of things I need to take into account that you wouldn't even think about.
Making sure your emails don't go to the client's spam folder. This requires the sending domain to be verified via DNS settings. I have to ensure your email content passes a spam test (link to text ratio needs to be good). I assumed you'd want an email that has your logo and looks good. This means testing the design in Outlook to make sure it's not broken.
What if the email doesn't send due to an invalid email address, or bounces back? You'll need to be notified.
What if the client list for the week contains duplicates? You need them merged or ignored.
Generating a PDF from HTML can be tricky because the conversion isn't apples to apples so there are things I need to adjust to make them as close as possible.
Making a site completely mobile friendly (the tier 3 option) can be very time consuming as well. It's not about whether or not it fits on a mobile phone, it's about whether or not it's intuitive and useful. You're essentially getting a mobile app without paying for separate development of an app.
If I took everything into consideration and built this to be 100% bullet proof, it would cost tens of thousands.
I'm doing my best to leverage your needs with the probability of running into an issue. I'm not going waste my time/your money on something that will likely never happen."9
Everything but UI/UX
Because I suck at it, lame but true, I love every kind of code, from MEAN and LAMPP to assembly, but when it comes to UI I just lack of the imagination and creativity to design something that looks averagely good.6
Finally made my laptop a dedicated linux machine, time to start working on a theme then to start on OS development until Gamemaker comes to linux! :-P14
Today is good, so far.
Husband graduates and promotes and my younger brother made it to Texas safely this morning.
Oh, and I'm out of the office 😄5
Just about to start a milestone presentation, when suddenly the boss froze and yelled:
"Wait! Don't move! There is a bug, let me take it back to nature where it belongs..."
*Grabs a bug on my shoulder and carries it to the window*4
Integrating Linux kernel into their new build.
Microsoft Edge insiders experimenting with Chromium engine.
Microsoft has now bowed down to the open source community...
All hail Linus Torvalds!!!!
All hail Linux!!!
All hail Open Source!!!
In sprint planning meeting, prioritizing the tasks...
ScrumMaster: "Next item, create a spreadsheet that identifies the systems used by order processing so the PO can identify errors by system."
Me: "That's already done."
ScrumMaster: "Did you work ahead of the sprint again?"
- Really trying not to throw something heavy at his head.
Me: "No, you did back in January."
- SM stutters..um..uhhs...
ScrumMaster: "No, I never did that...see."
- SM navigates to the sharepoint directory
Me: "Yep, there it is."
ScrumMaster: "I didn't create it, you must have."
Me: "Created by...you."
ScrumMaster: "Uh...um....I might have added it to sharepoint, but doesn't mean I created it. Anyway, lets take a look..."
- opens the spreadsheet
ScrumMaster: "What is this? Did you simply export the sharepoint list to excel?"
- Getting harder and harder to resist the urge to throw something heavy at his head.
Me: "I don't know what that is, you created it. You commented on the Trello card that this task item was done."
ScrumMaster: "No, I've never seen this or made any comment on the Trello board...lets look ..."
- FRACK!!! TRELLO IS DOWN!!!
ScrumMaster: "When Trello comes back up I'll assign the card to you. Lets stay on task with the cards from now on. Next item ... "
Trello up, 3 hours later, back at my desk, there is his fracking comment from January about uploading the spreadsheet to sharepoint. Frack frack frack people suck3
Got a request on a freelance site, was about modding a game.
I've answered thinking "easy money", then he reveals it's for a console, that it's not "hacked" so I couldn't run any third-party script.
I've tried to kindly explain the situation and he seemed having understood.
Few minutes ago I checked my inboxes and I got a bad review on that freelance platform, of course from him. 👌1
Helpful tip to all you freelancers or those with the authority:
Never let a client dictate anything in how you do your job, no matter how simple.
Even if they ask you to make yourself available at a specific time, don't. Instead, tell them times you have available so they have to work with you.
If you give a client an inch, they will always take a mile.3
Skipped my lectures at university just to get my new Dell laptop at home.
Here is my experience of dell account portal:
There is a 50-50 chance that your order will appear in the list of orders. It has it's own mind, sometimes it will appear, sometimes it will say it has found no orders.
Now if somehow you do see the order in the list, there is a 50-50 chance that clicking on the order number will actually show you the correct order. Most of the time it will take you to a completely different order, where you can see the name, address and other personal details of a person that you don't know. THANKS DELL!
Now if somehow clicking on the order number takes you to the right order details page, there is a 50-50 chance that there will be no courier information, it will be blank without any information. Sometimes it will show the tracking number, but no courier details.
Right, now let's say that I don't give a fuck about any of these. I stayed home, skipping my lecture, just so that I can get my laptop. They promised me that they will deliver it today and I trust them 🙂
BUT YOU MOTHERFUCKER, not only that they will not deliver it today, they haven't even bothered to give me a call and say that they won't be delivering it today. YOU PIECE OF HORSESHIT, I skipped my fucking lectures for you. Now I have to skip my lectures for another day, just to get my GODDAMN laptop.
FUCK YOU DELL, DIE IN HELL!9
In a UAT meeting with representatives of our project partners,
The account executive, who set up the project, said to my PM in front of everyone just before the test started: "I hope your system won't fail, because everyone here will be watching"
My PM: "No it won't. But in that case, I believe it's your fault for setting an unrealistic deadline without consulting us, the development team, first"
All the representatives, being also developers from multiple companies, proceeded to stare at her with disgust.2
„Hope this InMail finds you in the best of your health.
I was going through your profile and found your Scala experience pretty attractive. Infact your experience matches one of the job requirements that I'm working on.”
Sure, but I don’t have anything even remotely mentioning Scala on my profile.2
Upgraded from MacBook to Razer and wanted to give windows a try but ended up installing ubuntu in less than 4 hours.
Fuck you windows.
Dev memes usually make me cringe. It's like the people who make them are trying too hard; the lack of social skills just jumps off the screen.2
On call just started at 2100 last night. Phone rang at 0230. Going to be a long rotation.
Similar call from a few weeks ago that took 13 hours to resolve. Oh boy.16
DHL? More like, "Du Hurensohn Lieferst ned!"
Seriously! Fuck DHL so fucking hard! Why the FUCK can you deliver 2 FUCKING PACKAGES, WHICH REQUIRE SIGNING, INFRONT OF MY FUCKING ENTRANCE!! But not, A FUCKING 3rd one! LIKE SERIOUSLY! I WAS AT FUCKING HOME THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY! THEN I RECIEVE AN EMAIL THAT THE FUCKING PACKAGE "couldnt be delivered because I wasnt at home" YEAH FUCK YOU! 2 INFRONT OF MY FUCKING DOOR! and then... I see him... that fucking DHL guy, with my package, going INTO HIS FUCKING SHITASS DHL CAR, AND DRIVING OFF!
I literally just wanted to open the window and scream "HEY DHL, MEIN SCHEISS PACKET! WO ISSET!?" but I didnt...
FUCK THESE COCKSUCKERS FROM DHL! I HAVE A FUCKING LOUD DOORBELL! RING THAT THING! THERES A BUTTON WITH MY NAME NEXT TO IT!14
Me starting a project: Okay I'm stuck with this project I'll just shelve this for now
[3 weeks later]
*comes back to project*
*find a solution with problem I came stuck with*
WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN WHY DID IT TAKE YOU 3 WEEKS TO HELP ME FIX SHIT WRYYYYY7
My compartmentalizing skill is not good enough. Wasted last night by doing nothing and falling asleep because of a bad mood. I have shit tons of tasks.3
I was debugging my UDP server and client for 3 hours until I realized our school network has a firewall which blocks my connections.6
FFS customer, if you want me to test with real data and solve your problem quickly, then maybe NOT send me an export in which the social security number says "12" for about a quarter of the entries in the dataset and in which the date format is still wrong.
Sincerely, the pissed off dev who told you this about 4 times already.
PS: I hope you step on a Lego.4
One of my coworkers just had a baby, so he left work today and won't be back for a month or more.
We (accidentally) took the client's website down for 3 hours, messed up our git repo and when we finally fixed both things, I had to spend the rest of the day editing fucking vector graphics (which I had never done before and completely suck at).
I never realized how much work this guy does or how important he is until now.14
Having some thoughts as I sit here, trapped in the house by equal parts coronavirus and a layer of smoke drowning out the sun. The smoke is a bit of an annual thing; every year, some irresponsible jerk will go out and put their convenience and enjoyment over everyone else's quality of life.
It's a bit different this year since coronavirus has given people cabin fever. Those same people who lose their minds after weeks of isolation and suffering the indignity of wearing a mask headed out into the wilderness for recreation in record numbers.
The result is record wildfires.
Where I'm at, it's mostly coming from the eastern part of our state. The area is typified by being on the mountain range's dry side, more rural, less densely populated. Towns have burned, people lost their homes, millions of acres of land will likely burn before it's over. It happens every year; people pack up, head out into the wilderness, and cause devastation due to a simple lack of common sense or regard for the consequences of their actions.
On the west side, we see the fallout in the form of days without sunlight and abysmal air quality. We also see it in cost; we will unquestionably and without hesitation contribute to eastern recovery efforts. The western half of the state will cover almost all of the damage in both taxes and recovery aid. Our local ethos demands it.
The mountains form a kind of natural barrier, both cultural and environmental. The fact that few people cross the mountains by choice is symbolic of that divide. Those who enjoy greenery and lakes and thriving vibrant nature prefer the west, as we have them in abundance. People who have a strong appreciation for distance between themselves and other humans prefer the east, as it affords them cheaper land and few urban environments.
Here's to hoping people learn from this in 2021.19
Ok... So iPhone X cames with 3gb ram and 2.7 mAh battery....
Fuck the new Xiami that costs 1/4 comes with 4gb ram and a 4mAh battery...6
I love it how managers try to act busy by going through the same mails over and over again while waiting for a new one so that they can instantly reply to it and show themselves off as "prompt" and screw us, who have to actually do some work, about not sending mails promptly and they have like this one single excel sheet opened at all times and they just make one obscure entry whenever they get an update and WOW, some of them don't even know how the fuck you spell Avro (spelt it as avero, handwritten) and oh, not to mention waste everyone's time by asking a mundane question that other managers are so eager to answer, one by one, over and over and did I mention THAT THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE PRODUCT.
Let’s see I suppose the most pissed off I’ve been at work would be....
Being blamed for a clients mistake when their newsletter email settings where being changed over to a new mailing system but during the change over they wanted to still send out mail using the old list. So a single endpoint was kept in place so they could send one last newsletter out after it was approved as part of the migration and they were to inform us when they were done so we could change that endpoint over.
Several months later when everyone had long forgotten about it, the client tried to send another mass mail out using the old endpoint and complained when no emails had been sent.
I was blamed for making this mistake even though management approved the fucking old endpoint to be left in place at the clients request against my concerns that someone’s going to forgot about this and I was never informed to swap it over.
I quit on the spot and walked out the door after that.
I just realized this is the "week" where I am on call for a week and a half. Over a 3 day weekend. Hoping my friends are free and can save me from my insanity...7
Just watched a 30 mins tutorial on youtube and atleast 20 mins of that was debugging his code. Can't you just re-record or atleast cut the part where you go through all the stack overflow solutions!1
To the cunts who use single character aliases for their SQL queries table joins... Suck my throbbing dick till you choke on it and die....
That's all... back to work10
Just spent 2 fucking hours debugging one of my websites scripts because apparently appendChild wasn't a function... Here I was thinking there was a function called getElementByClassName... Dick head me didn't realise I'm missing a single 's'... 2 hours over a single fucking s!
Step 1: Acquire Rasbpery Pi
Step 2: Install Rasbian Lite
Step 3: Install PiHole
Step 4: Setup VPN
Step 5: Get a domain name for the VPN server
Step 6: Install OpenVPN on Phone
Step 7: Connect to Rasbperry PiHole Server
NO MORE ADS MOTHERFUCKERS8
I received a LinkedIn message from a recruiter who thinks I'd be a good fit for a role that requires being fluent in German.
My LinkedIn profile clearly states I only have elementary proficiency in German.
I'm gonna reply and see how long it will take for him to notice 😈6
On call part 4: you know when you're too angry to express your anger appropriately (ensure the level of rage is fully understood and appreciated)? Yeah. 12 hour phone call later, I'm there
There are clients who always suggest an idea then after they suggest they will say "...again don't do this yet, its not a big deal blah blah blah"
Then the other day they will ask if their idea is already implemented.
Fucking hell everything in java is so annoying, confusing and hard to get working. I just want to use JavaFX, why do you require me to sacrifice a lamb in order to do so? It might be my fault though, but c'mon, I don't want to spend 2-3 hours reading through shitty documentation in order to understand how maven works and what the hell Gradle is. Why can't it be as simple as adding a module name to a config file, like in Rust's Cargo? Even using intellij to acquire JavaFX and set it as a dependency doesn't work, it gives me some weird "JavaFX not configured" bullshit error. What the fuck, you're a library, you shouldn't need anything else ffs7
I got call from a recruiter today for a job I applied for on ziprecruiter. The job is listed as remote. He says no, it's Denver, I said ok, well the listing says remote, he says, ok, remote is fine. He then argued with me about salary after I said it depends on the company on where I'm happy to negotiate to, and I'd want to know about benefits etc.. here is what I currently make, etc etc. He kept on trying to make me pick an hourly number.. I said I don't know the company, so he told me the company name.. them started in again about hourly rate (no idea who the company was). Finally he moved on and said he'd email details.
5 mins later, email comes through, please give hourly salary. Then another saying he'd pass my details on and I can just ask for about remote during the interview. And then another email 2 mins later asking for education etc, all of which is in my resume. I looked the company he was recruiting for up to find that it's an IT recruitment firm, looking to fill a clients position. So a recruiter recruiting for a recruiter :|
I'll be so happy when I find a new job and don't have to deal with these idiots again.3
Been at a startup for 2-3 weeks, hood some presentations about Linux and Foss stuff but they didn't have any work for anyone and as such didn't pay anything.
So a colleague was like "hey man, I seed you making those presentations and stuff but not getting anything back, I think I might got a job for you".
And now I do small data analysis at another company. And get money.
Passionate programmer attends one of the toughest interviews ever and solves lot of algorithmic problems coding in different programming languages. Impresses the interview panel providing solutions with as much as efficiency as possible. Gets selected, completes induction and gets a nice Dev machine allocated.
Manager walks in and says we got to work with the production support team on fixing a UI bug.2
Our 10th grade computer classes in school consisted only of writing 1 printf statement in C, which earned you an A.1
How to get me to never respond to your email: make the subject line say "Salesforce ninjaneer wanted!!!"
First of all I don't do salesforce and second ninjaneer is not a word. I hate when people say code ninja or code warrior or any of those other crap phrases. I'm a software developer. Respect that or suck it.9
It's kinda disturbing when people watch landscape videos holding their phones upright. I mean all you had to do was rotate the damn phone!14
Can interviewers PLEASE stop asking cliche and terrible questions??
Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Me: "Not with you guys obviously, you dumb piece of shit."
That's what I'd like to say to them at least... :/7
I forgot to put myself out of office today on our call schedule... Thought I'd get away with it because I shouldn't get calls anyways. Got a call. Not handling it, passed it on, but it woke me up... :(2
Would have loved if my teachers had any idea about coding, more over, if they had any idea about coding in big projects, even more if they had any idea of producing understandable maintainable code and had taught people about it.
Recruiters: are you interested in a java function? Possibly .net? We’re also looking for network engineers...6
Nothing good will ever come by looking at your old projects. It is the dev equivalent of reading your old social media posts.5
Work won't buy me noise-cancelling headphones T_T it gets so fucking loud here in this open floor plan3
Meeting of 10 minutes to review and grade a project that took months to make. Apparently your supervisor giving you proper attention is not important enough, compared to him getting his food delivery.
They make worst fucking printers in the universe. Just because I don’t have color cartridge doesn’t mean I can’t print anything in monochrome! Also apparently my black cartridge is broken, even tho it worked just a minute ago.6
Windows is when your computer just exits it's life via fucken BSOD.
But then there's linux. Half-freezing up, making you switch to tty2 just to see via htop, the machine is essentially idle. Nice. Fuck you.8
80% of the YouTube tutorials that I've watched suck and only wasted 10 minutes of my time each. Sometimes, I can work well with doing shit myself. Discovering errors yourself teach you more than following along someone else.2
So a few weeks back guy I used to work with contacts me for some dev work on a UK project he is working on, it's the Thursday and they need the thing the coming Monday. I tell him it's totally impossible, and it was so he asks what can done and how much, as well as how much for the entire project.
I stipulate exactly what can be done, with exclusions and say 7.5k and them mail over a detailed quote for 30k for everything.
I get told it's all fine, I must go ahead. I get through a bit more than expected by the Monday, but they still needed something to demo and I set I can get enough for demo in place by Thursday.
They demo to business and money and all that and everyone is happy and tell me to finish up along with some changes, and I don't even adjust the price as it was more work they wanted outside of the original spec.
Get to probably 80% done and they say we need to pause they need to look over other feedback.
Next thing, the PM come back, no they were never actually happy with the quote and they found some other guy willing to do the entire thing for 7.5k and they willing to only give me that for the code I have written so far. Cunts.
Anyway, he tries to take some blame for it, even though I know it's BS and says he will pay in another 7.5k from his share if I am willing and we call it quits.
This people, is why I don't freelance.
I feel sorry for this new kid, he clearly under quoted, and yes I am expensive, but with decades experience having worked on international projects for one of the largest digital asset management firms, my countries leading fintech dev house and now the lead developer for my countries largest insurance software dev house, you damn fucking strait my free time comes at a premium, as you are getting top fucking quality, 100% tested, high performing code.
They can go fuck an entire flock of ducks when they come back after this half ling fucks up the diamond I coded up for them.
Even funnier, they a UK based company, so for them this was a 1.5k project. Cheap cunts.3
Me : java is suck.
Friend : php is suck.
Friend2 : c++ is suck.
Friend3 : network is suck.
Friend4 : security is very suck!
All : I agree.5
We've been using a recruiter who works out of the same business park as us. They purport to be "specialists in technology".
Somehow a conversation got started and I ended up explaining how we make use of open source software, where possible.
Their response: "That's the free one, right?".3
I suspected that our storage appliances were prematurely pulling disks out of their pools because of heavy I/O from triggered maintenance we've been asked to automate. So I built an application that pulls entries from the event consoles in each site, from queries it makes to their APIs. It then correlates various kinds of data, reformats them for general consumption, and produces a CSV.
From this point, I am completely useless. I was able to make some graphs with gnumeric, libre calc, and (after scraping out all the identifying info) Google sheets, but the sad truth is that I'm just really bad at desktop office document apps. I wound up just sending the CSV to my boss so he can make it pretty.1
If you provide me a PDF file that you name a design, and don’t provide any info I can’t do much with it.
So I got a PDF design for the program I was building. I tried to rebuild the elements and copy your photos. As you said this was the only file the designer had. But don’t expect me to look for your fonts, sizes etc. And then complain that I need to be more specific in the design... and sending me by once do I need to ask her something?
Just f*** off
Not a rant!
Reaction when a person responds your joke with " I will go home, figure it out, laugh and will text you!!!!"
Can someone explain to me what sort of recruitments logic is this?
Me after giving interview: so when can i expect to get a call back about my results?
Recruiter: within a day or two. Definitely before X.
A few weeks after X...
Me: so, any update?
Recruiter: yes. Are you available now for the next round?
Me: .... Couldn't you have said that earlier???!! (in my mind)5
Me and my project partner were explaining a idea for a smart mirror in front of two of our teachers (female) for our major project of final year.
After telling all the features and things it will do for 15 minutes, one of them very seriously said that,
"so basically you are making a smart mobile app".
We both died a little inside that day... 💀
Client wants this "demo" LIVE by the end of the month... But still not got access to THEIR API yet!!! 😑1
Turns out getting users to put in literally any effort to do something ends up in them putting in zero effort and just not bothering. Users suck.2
If a client changes the formatting of their data without telling me, and it breaks the code that I wrote for them, could they own up to their lack of communication, and not give me shit for it?
This problem was caused entirely by you. Can you fuck right off? Would you kindly?
Still boggles my mind that it took something like coronavirus for people to start covering their mouth when sneezing / coughing, washing hands and let's not even mention public places like shopping malls and stores to start with regular disinfection of their premises.. 🙄🤦♂️8
Fucking Chinese designers...
Spent all afternoon leveling the 3D printer table while scratching it a lot.
all afternoon to understand that one piece is bent and the extruder is a lot lower it should have been...
Meanwhile, leveled the table with my knowledge of CNC and a specific tool that allows me to take measures up to 0.01mm...
Could have saved €20 on this fucking auto leveler that doesn't really work.8
Java Server Faces!
Don't get me wrong, I kinda love coding Java, but JSF is just a horrible technique for web development.
Had to do it since my company got to maintain an already existing backend which the customer wanted to have some more Features but the original dev didnt continue to support.
Attached hello world example from good old mykong for those not knowing jsf: http://mkyong.com/jsf2/...4
Thanks for spamming me with several emails for your AngularJs role paying £200 per day.
I'd rather stack shelves in Asda, probably pays better too.4
A dev found a bug I created where I set a SQL parameter name to @OrderID instead of the expected @Order. The standard is @OrderID, there is one stored proc where it's @Order.
Oops...I didn't catch it because the integration test didn't cover that area of the code. My mistake...I should have checked...I take complete responsibility for the screw up.
He let me know by email..
"When refactoring, from now on check the stored procedure parameters, there are a few that don't follow the standard."
I was like "from now on..."? ...wow....bold comment from someone responsible for code that doesn't check for nulls, doesn't log errors, and relies on exceptions for flow control. You wouldn't even have known about the error if I didn't modify your code to log the error (the try..except returned false)
I really wanted to reply ...
"Fixed. From now on, when you come across those easily found bugs, go head and fix it, write a test, and move on. Don't send a condescending email to me, my boss, your boss, all the DBAs, and the entire fracking order processing team. Thanks."
But..I thanked him for finding and letting me know...we're a team..blah blah blah..
These days when I go out with friends for gatherings, it feels really awkward to talk with people. Most times I don't fit in the crowd at all. I feel at home, with my laptop doing something, even procrastinating seems worthwhile when compared to this.
Does anyone feel the same way? Or, it's just a very personal thing?8
I will never work in an open floor plan environment again.
The average salary is 6 figures and they can't even spring for sound deadening material on the concrete walls, nevermind cubicles.
Nothing says "I don't value your contribution to our product" quite like treating your engineers like cattle.4
I'm just super disappointed in people. A lot of people flaky and not as good as I think they are. I tend to be an idealist, and I believe in helping others to do a net positive. But what I find is that people just don't give a shit about anyone else except for themselves. If it's even a slightest inconvenience to them they won't do it. You ask for one little thing despite you helping them out a shit ton, and they won't do it for you.
Also, I'm so tired of people who always come up to me and talk big game about how we should work on a project together. But when shit hits the fan and I say let's do the work they don't do anything. Or I have to drag them along to get anything started.
Yeah, everybody is out for themselves, but I wish we were more kind to others and learn to take a hit to our own convenience every once in a while.
But maybe I should just find a better group of people to hang out with and fuck you all to my current group of friends. JK.
I'm going for a run to clear my head. Hopefully after I come back I'll be in a better mood.2
Continuous emails from recruiters:
"I saw your profile on LinkedIn and wanted to see if you were interested in a career as an Area Sales Rep for [cell provider]. Here's the benefits!"
degree says IT, past jobs say IT, hobbies say IT, interests say IT. Do they just send that to everyone no matter what the profile says??1
I know what you're thinking
"arch isn't that bad he's overreacting"
WELL I'M NOT OVERREACTING!
Thanks to me trying to install Arch i cant get my laptop to boot. It just say some thing about network boot failing. I cant go into BIOS either. It doesn't work! I cant even boot from usb!! It still just say some thing about network boot failing, shows some weird black screen with a black bar at the top left and after a while shows some thing about network boot failing again and that repeats9
After previous rant (https://lynkz.me/9xAFVZ9) he told me to be as close as possible to the design from the designer. There was on the left side a BarCode, which made no sense. So I didn’t add it. Now today (saturday) he told me I need to add the barcode because it looks classy. I told him we had a QR code already with same data. His anwser, yeah but it looks better with Barcode added too. Just f*** off! Your classy, shitty barcode will have a great price as it’s weekend. Thanks @linuxxx for the url shortner, it’s awesome!9
Asshole that my client hired: "You will be reporting to me now. As per client request."
Me: "I will murder you."
Yesterday we were four developers working together on a bug. What do you call it? Quad programming?
Anyway, we solved it!4
Yay! Another meeting to go over a design concept for the next version of our website, awesome this makes meeting 163
Anyone have success dealing with nondevs and explaining the “zone” and to not interrupt if I’m programming and would like to share their techniques? I’m the only developer in the company I work for and all my coworkers/bosses don’t get it and even give me grief about using headphones in the office. I’ve actually gone into vacant offices off the open floor plan to try and program uninterrupted, but I don’t know how long I can keep that up without catching flak.3
Not a rant but seemed appropriate. I was finding Pokemon at my desk while reading clientsfromhell.com and this happened1
Had a deal with a client that i’ll make a website for him in a month because I have other jobs that i need to finish first. I called him 2 days ago i said that i’ll upload the website for confirmation of the design in a few days, he says ok. I get around to it, developed the frontend on localhost, put it on my server for him to approve and sent him the link. He said something about a specific photo not being grayscale or whatever - I don’t even have any info for the site that he sent, got confused, ok.. I go to his old website to get some information onto the new one, surprise surprise a new website that I don’t have anything to do with appeared. Wtf, check the ftp - was uploaded 5 days ago. Fml just wasted a day and got no sleep. 99.9% that i wont get paid. Bamboozled. Cant sleep, wtf4
Is it okay for someone to printout their own devRant stickers which includes the devRant logo (this :/)?
I am unable to get the stickers on my own. We don't have international shipping/mailing. But I know a local sticker printing shop which can print one for me. And I really one one for me.9
Once there was this fucking recruiter who actually had the nerve to call the head-secretary of the entire R&D department of the company my girlfriend works at, to ask to be put through to her after explicitly telling the secretary what the reason for the call was.
I mean, even if my girlfriend wanted to be contacted by some shitforbrains single-celled lowlife like you, how stupid can you be, calling the head-secretary for at least 400 people and then telling them you are headhunting?1
Do you have to be a math genius to program?
I myself hate math but have been programming for a hobby in about 3 years now.
I keep hearing that you have to know a lot of math to program even though i usually only use basic math when i do.9
Is there anyone else who's working for a company regardless of day and nights? Holidays or working days? And still get the old shitty pay?
Fuck this job I want to resign but can't do it because of financial problem.
damn I'm hating this situation.
do anybody know how can we build freelance profile how much time it takes?3
I was supposed to have an interview for a software developer internship at a bank today, but they rescheduled last minute due to a "time conflict". This was to be my first summer internship interview. As if they didn't put me under enough stress already... Now I find out all my stress all week long was for naught.
God fucking dammit.3
I can't get any shit done when trying to work in a public place, like in class or at Starbucks or frankly anywhere where people can (and will) look at my screen, as they'll inevitably think, "what the fuck is this guy doing?"1
I remember the promise I made to myself when I dropped out of university to look for work.
"I'll explore different areas of software engineering since I like a number of them. But never shall I ever do backend web development"
Guess what job I landed.1
Developer contract, day rate £500 in London or £400 remote working! WTF!
Does the agency/client seriously think they should pay less for the same work if done remotely? If anything, remote should pay more, it saves the client money and the remote worker will probably have more productive hours without the fucking shitty commute.4
I am so sick of a senior developer that has no idea how to be a manager. I've been a manager before and it is not that hard. I came into this job thinking that it was going to be a fresh start, but instead all the haunting projects from incompetent developers that worked before me followed me to this team as well... (we are in the same company, just different teams) My boss thinks I'm an "expert" in everything, and everyone else on the team has no idea what is going on. I have to spend all of my time babysitting every other developer, and I don't get any coding done myself, yet I'm still expected to make my deadlines.
I need a new gig so bad I'm sick. The stress level is getting pretty bad. I've already had cancer once. I don't want to go through it again... Plz hlp4
My next project is a functional fitness/crossfit application and my client requires me to attend and participate sessions with them in order for me to understand and appreciate the sport. I got the point but OMG I only know sports via tv,youtube,etc.. and not really fun of socializing. I might die doing this project. Help me!4
My Phone crashed (22%) while I was trying to send a picture of my bluescreen. (Phone needs to be charged) - fuck. my. life.
Damn driver updates. Damn 5yo iPhone.
To all my people who don’t like to code emails (the sane people): there is MJML. It’s an easy, quick and overall the best way to create emails nowadays. You won’t need to learn quirks, you can learn MJML in a day and make pretty much any email you need.
There’s even a vscode live preview plugin, don’t know about other ides though but I’m sure there is something.
LONG LIVE MJML4
I feel like a fraud ...
So I recently joined a mobile dev company as an intern
I submitted the application
Got to coding interview passed the coding interview because thank god it was one of the sums i solved on geeks4geeks
Then came then interview did as best i could
Got the acceptance mail in next 10 mins
First day was chill it's work from home thing
Second day they gave me an app a previous intern had already build its layout and authentication code
But it wasn't working so I reported it so they told me to debug it so I found where the problem was occurring
Now I know the problem but i have no idea how to fix it
They gave me assignment to fix the authentication basically it's taking info creating a json and request an API call
But I feel i cant remember the concepts
I can't remember basic meaning of words the other day i forgot what SSID are
I just I don't know shit
And i feel like I'm going to get kicked soon
I don't understand what the previous guy wrote and i don't know how to fix it
Previously i have built my own apps but not like a real world project like this which works in regards to network management basically an wifi portal kind of Authorization application5
Today in office one lady came to me and asked "how to reboot iPhone when it stuck?"
I'm android guy and using iPhone only for Dev purposes. So I never encountered such issues and was a bit confused.
Then I were smoking on the roof with coworker and asked:
- When last time you seen unresponsive android device?
- Hmm... I dunno
- And what about iPhone?
- Yeah, my wife's iPhone 7+ and daughter's iPhone 6 stuck regularly.
We laughed, but wtf?
Then I've tried to remember when Linux or Mac were stuck. Nothing.
Don't start holy war, please. Just noticed that.13
When you think maybe these Christams will be better. No! They fucking won't. I hate this time of the year so fucking much.6
Making a ticket support system using wordpress for a uni group project. I go away for a week and team tells me they have done loads of work.
so I take a look at out github to find that they haven't used a single wordpress function and have just written there own php application with their own tables and db class, and now they don't know why things aren't working.
I'm going to need several litres of coffee to get through this3
Don't you love when there's a teeny tiny little bug in your code that's not very important but you want to get fixed because you're a perfectionist so you start inserting log statements and it magically fixes itself and stays fixed even after removing the log statements? So now you have to live in constant fear that the bug will appear again and you will never be able to fix it.
Abfjancnancnamxhajd fuck this, fuck js, fuck webpack. It was probably a fucking cache issue but who knows, fuck everything.8
I'm not really satisfied with any of the major smarthome systems out there, so I'm making my own and using it as a learning experience. What I've learned so far, is that I suck at naming...
Best thing I can come up with is EasyDIYHome....7
Hi there.. Stuck since days in the google auth error:disallowed_useragent with xamarin, my colleagues ask me to ask to u :p (the same as the mac with windows features photo)1
fucking "premium subscription" is just a reboot of the "bundling" bullshit from the cable companies.
no i dont really wanna pay 4 bucks to rent a shitty halloween flick for 48 hours that i randomly got nostalgia for, nor do i want to pay an additional 8 bucks a month for your streaming service that i hardly use to begin with to include Starz or whatever.
oh a free 7 day trial will get me access you say? oh but of course you need my credit card first just to verify that im real and then conveniently charge me when i forgot i signed up and keep my money after i cancel.
too lazy to torrent. movie wasnt that great either, so not really worth the effort.7
I feel like with all this Facebook stuff we are gonna end up eventually getting The Social Network 2: The Zuckening1
- working on a personal project
- got angry at windows for sucking so bad at running fucking vs code of all things
- banged the palm rest on laptop in rage
- windows freezes
- harddisk died
- lost my collection of notes from college
- lost all my photos
- but most importantly, lost my progress on a project that I was working on and hadn't git push
Lession learned. Always have a backup. ALWAYS.6
God fucking dammit.
I spend the entire day trying to get [this piece of shit] (https://github.com/php-ds/extension) to work and at the end of the day its tests pass, but when I try to instantiate a set, I still get bloody errors.
I mean, am I not punished enough for having no guidance in learning PHP and knowingly having to create an absolute monstrosity just because I don't know how to do it better.
Fuck it, I'm just gonna go cry myself to sleep now and only will start feeling like a failureagain, when I wake up.
sorry for bothering you with my problems.6
Helping out a team, I was documenting some code/processes when I came across several classes that was logging a lot of, IMO, 'junk' that was unnecessary (and I knew wasn't being used in any Splunk alerts/reports)
I offer a refactoring suggestion, simplifying the data being logged, moving the duplicate code to a central location, maybe saving 10~20 lines of code. Didn't think it was a big deal because they were already actively working on the code and it was all new code (nothing deployed to production yet). Sent the suggestion to the lead developer and he responds:
Dev: "Yes, the changes looks fine, but not in scope of the project. Any out of scope work will need to be suggested at the end of the project, reviewed by the team, the project manager and approved by the vice president."
"Out of scope"? Logging data to Splunk needs a vice president's approval? WTF?
YOU PROBABLY HAVE THE PROJECT OPEN IN VISUAL STUDIO RIGHT NOW!!!
Along with the documentation the lead dev said they didn't have time to do, I send his boss and the dev team my suggested changes (before-after screen shots of the code) and offered to do the 2 minutes worth of work (again, this was new code, nothing in production and zero side affects to anything).
I even offered to create the splunk reporting/alerting against the data being logged (another item they said they would not have time to do)
About a minute later the lead dev responds..
Dev: "Those changes look good. I'll have Jake make those changes and we can test the logging when we deploy to dev on Monday. Thanks!"
Of course you will...fracking ass hat.
I'll bet my Battlestar Galactica DVD box set he was going to make the changes himself, brag to his boss how he refactored the code, saving X lines of code..blah blah blah to help *me* with documenting the logging portion.
Wat up guys. I want your opinions on how to deal with other devs who have less experience but arrogant enough to take advice or even basic instruction making the project take longer, e.g. insist on doing everything from scratch because libraries are too high level etc.
How do you guys end up not murdering these types of people?2
Why are all the developers non-athletic? I have never seen a bodybuilder developer and not much sports events happens in a software company !!12
OMFG. So my isp sucks. Like most isp do now adays. I was watching TV and I was trying to find a specific channel. I look for the channel list online. And oh my fucking God the site is horrible. They have some continuous loading script so I don't have to load all 2500 channels at once. But... It's fucking horrible I got to channel 120 then tries to scroll back up to see if there was a search bar. But guess what... It kept scrolled bg me down. Then I thought maybe if I refresh the page. Nope... It does not send me to the top it sends me to the fucking bottom. Since I can't clear cache on mobile im stuck scrolling up. Why can't they have a site that just fucking works.2
I always wanted to have my first post here be something that pisses the sh!t out of me.
tl;dr: Memes are for braindeads and kids are fucktards
So basicaly I am now having a summerjob before my next semester starts so I can make some cash to buy some overpriced stuff I dont probably need. I work at a factory, 3 shift work and today we had Night shift, so there was me and a bunch of Arab guys, kicking our asses by pure boredom and desperacy.
I was bored, opened my phone and decided entertain myself by some funny sh!t I can find on Mark Sugarhills webpage. I was just passing by some random a bit funny stuff and then I found some random ass meme, which doesnt give a single, even distant sence to me.. So since my german is as good as my coding skills (read: complete shit) I couldnt ask for opinion of my fellow coworkers and since its fuck1ng 4am theres noone to ask on messenger or whatever. So I did it... I asked in a goddamn comments, what the fck is that supposed to mean and Aw dear Lawd... I did a mistake.
Like 4 seconds after my question I had a response and I was like 0.o It has to be some Alice of Facebook so I guess someone cool. Oh boy I was never so wrong. The answer... the... FUCKING answer was.... "normie."
What the actual fuck?
Like man statisticaly speaking, there is 200,000 people on this wannabe funny site and since everyone is apparently laughing their asses off, I am the motherfucking original snowflake.
But I wanted to play it cool... was like Uhm sorry, I really tried but cant figure it out.
His fuck-me-sideways-with-rusty-crowbar answer was:
a) The joke is hidden in some random thing we created yesterday and decided to call it a culture
b) "u dumb"
I hope that most of you finally guessed it! Its the second fucking answer and oh sweet mother of pain, please find him, BUT thats where I flipped and fucking lost it.
The fucking nerve to speak to me like that u dissrespectful piece of shit. Go watch some Twitch, while I SSH into ur ass and hit u harder than ur mom her forehead everynight when she realises that she could have swallow you dickhead.
I was always worries that my child would like to be a Rapper, or Youtuber...
But today Im adding being some dumb ass meme creator.8
Me: *asking a friend* Are recruiters friends or foes when searching for a gig?
Friend: they are motherFOEkers1
- Started learning python
- New semester's about to start in college
...and laptop got recked.
Shows the post screen and crashes and reboots repeatedly. Tried to fix it and now the display doesn't light up and the Hard-Disk makes screeching noise. I didn't even touch the display. HDD maybe.
Removed the HDD and tried to recover it from my friends PC, but it turns out it was already dead. All my data from 1 month ago is gone (thank god for external HDD) and I cannot learn python anymore cause I don't have any backup computer.
I don't even know if I can afford to get it repaired if they say they have to replace the entire motherboard in the laptop.
So, I interviewed at one of the biggest investment banks for a role of software developer.
And I can't get over my interview anxiety. Shit it sucks. Breakup has made me really passive.
Anyway, it sucks to be grilled at some stupid problem solving question on a tree. I started the approach, and arrived at a wrong solution. Yeah, fuck it. Cause you always have to have a right answer. Fml.
Any credits for thinking and atleast trying to apply everything I know? Apparently no.
So only way to get hired now, is learn problem solving. * Basic problem solving -_- *
Practice 6 months or a year so you can clear the interview and then go and work on multi fucking threading.
Also, after DS algo, also prepare to answer framework, specific questions, then language specific tricky shit.
Interviews these days be like, trick questions, trick questions and then typical already existing problems on the internet under the name of problem solving.
Will I be eligible for doing multi threading then?
I think I'm depressed!1
While preparing for a PM workshop, I spent more than an hour looking for a good sketboard, mindmapping or notes taking tool. Well I am not regretting.
I have found Joplin. It's amazing. Really appreciate and impressed that there are Developers making such awesome apps. 😍🤩😍2
Would love to share my experience with tutorial hell.
A year ago, if there is no tutorial teaching me how to do something, I am totally lost and stuck for days. Then, I decided to see how people got out of it.
The answer turned to be simple, get comfortable reading documentation AFTER you determine what you are trying to accomplish.
In other words:
1- Determine the problem and the desired end result.
2- Break the problem down into multiple smaller ones.
3- Determine the end result of the solution of each of those problems.
4- Read the documentation concerning what you need to use to solve each problem.
Over time, you would find the need for a tutorial much less in order to solve a problem. Plus, documentation would ideally give the optimal solution for your problem.
Would still be cool if you find a tutorial explaining something hard to grasp, but never depend on finding one.2
Procrastinates, wastes time not working; hates himself
Works on a regular schedule, putting in effort and feeling sleep deprived;
Hates himself even more.
Inner self hatred realises something.
Who said my self-loathing was bad for me???
I fucking hate environnement configuration so much that I prefer to debug 8 hours straight rather than lose my time and shit for 2 hours on idiotic configuration problems and jump from page to page like a dumbass
"Hey you want that module, download it here !"
"Oopsie, starting from X version of the JDK/JRE this is no longer standalone and directly embedded in"
"Can't find it ? Well I just forgot to tell you that starting from Y version this is COMPLETELY removed from what I just told you to search in and now in another standalone package"
"So now you added your package as dependency for you project, your IDE detects everything well but can't run your code ? That's because it doesn't work anyway, use another method found on the dedicated Github issue which makes little sense and that you have to apply everytime, then sacrifice your inexistent newborn to connect to the 9th circle of hell where Java resides so everything will work"
I knew I couldn't get away using fucking Java and JavaFX3
So here is an interesting story.
The company that I work went in collaboration with another company and as my company is a small startup we had only 2 employees. We had to do 2 different projects during the collaboration period.
I was put in-charge of an android application (At that time I had no experience of android development and it was one of their most important project without any guidance)
I was doing work of two companies and getting paid by one and I was getting shit from the company that we were collaborating with.
As a developer I value tasks and deadline but the company issued a new rule that I should stay in the office from 9-6 (strictly) which I didn't oppose. But the senior developers here stay strictly 9-6 but work only for about less 2 hours a day and get valued more.
I used to love working on weekends improving myself in the process but working over time is not valued by the company.
( BTW I completed their project in about 1.5 months )
I keep thinking that I need to set up my site for a portfolio or something, but then I remembered that I'm really bad at coming up with designs.
Have tried to look up some other sites for inspiration, but I always get these really impressive sites that me feel even more potato :c2
Feature request: if everyone tagged memes and funnies with, say, meme, that way we could have a special feed for those. Some like em, some dislike em, everybody wins!
If a rant is really a meme, and it is not tagged as such, the downvote menu could include a "It's a meme" selection which would promote it to that feed. Whadda y'all say?3
Few months ago we move into a new Building, Company buys new Polycoms for 2 of the boardrooms - fancy ones with the Skype for Business and stuff.
Provision the boardroom accounts get them set up and all is working well.
Director asks if we can swap 2 boardroom phones around because their dept. just got a remote user and video calling would be awesome.
I set to work changing sign in details, provisioning accounts, assigning licenses, etc which is a long process because 365 needs to update throughout.
Finally get everything right, time to login... Failed...
Login fails on the Polycom, my laptop & an android tab - all 3 with different errors.
Decide to test account by logging into the web version in OWA - logs in perfectly.
Why Microsoft?? Why must you make it so hard? Why not just work?2
I wanted to take small loan from bank I am loyal customer for 15 years to speed up things by month. I decided to pay money for it.
They have some online form for it and I filled it.
So what happened next ?
I got call to confirm every input I filled (heard keyboard typing every time I answered question).
I asked how long I will wait and got response that it will take couple of hours, max 2 days.
Just received another call 10 days later that they need documents to prove my income.
They got 15 years history of every operation and it looks like it means nothing.
I said to person I will earn this money faster then I get it from them so at this point this conversation is just waste of my time.
It’s 10 days left till end of month and I think it will be easier to just wait or ask friend for a favor.
Yet another reason to say fuck banks.
Time is money.4
I hate Windows! BSOD and many other *famous* errors waste my time resolving them.
This happens to me every 6 months and it is so fucking annoying !
The system repairs are so fucking futile! They take so much time *attempting repairs* and in the end give me a failure message.3
Recruiters that call you "to have a chat".
I find this more offensive than the ones that call you frantically wanting to talk to you because you popped up on a keyword search that matches one word in your profile.
Why do they do this? I quite often think it's some form of social engineering and am immediately on the offensive because they have called with no clear intent.
Install Adobe suit and your internet will be fucked off. The solution is to find all startup items of com.adobe.* and remove them. I don't understand why they put their files across all system. Adobe: please be normal and act normal. It's 21 century.2
So I'm looking at getting a drone to do some videography for commercial purposes. I've been researching all the FAA regulations, dos and don'ts, tips for flying, videography, etc. My finger is hovering over the "buy now" button on BestBuy.com.
But, there's an exam you have to take to certify to fly for commercial purposes that, I thought, was supposed to test you on the Part 107 regulations. I pull up a list of sample test questions from the FAA's own website and it has questions on it that, for all intents and purposes, apply only to MANned aircraft, not UNmanned aircraft. Crap like "What airport is located approximately 47 (degrees) 40 (minutes) N latitude and 101 (degrees) 26 (minutes) W longitude?"
And I'm sitting here like, "WTF! I don't live anywhere near there! I just want to take pictures of some friggin trees and houses in my metro area!"
"Welcome to the FAA website, where we're not happy until you're not happy."3
I checked something and the school I want to apply to for Computer Management (basically the paper I need to prove I’m a dev) requires me to do PE.... Like, come the FUCK ON. How am I gonna learn stuff (and get retold the same shit I know since I’m 10) about PROGRAMMING if I’m doing SPORTS?! WHY?! I can barely get up the damn stairs without my knees fucking up and being out of breath.... fml2
How fucking sucking difficult is it too setup a static ip in AWS on a loadbalancer??? I spend the whole day figuring out how to use the nat gateway or other means and it still doesn't work. Debugging is almost impossible because they give you zero logs.
And all of this because a client wants to work with a whitelist for their shitty system on location.2
What do you hate about software and developer tutorials and how would you change them? What would totally disrupt the status quo with tutorials and make them easier to finish/useful/memorable/fun?6
"Bug: IE 10/11 open silverlight when trying to view a MS Office PowerPoint link online"
"Bug: IE doesnt play this 1 video"
The problem is IE right? Not the website or the links? Am I crazy?
Am I the only one who gets stupid nervous for interviews, I always get the hand shakes real bad about T-20 before the interview then they go away about T-5 before the interview. Doesn't matter what I am interviewing for, every time.6
I finally got my Visa sorted out (after 2 months) so I could finally get DevRant++ and as luck would have it the "Darkest dark" theme came out this same week!
The timing couldn't have been better and it looks incredible on my OLED screen!1
We're remediating tls issues on production servers. gotta be pic compliant. It's been an hour and a half for one server and were not even close to done... we have at least 5 more to go for this particular app... my organization controls over 300... the company has thousands... for the love of god save me.5
The worst part being a designer is when your client has zero design sense and you have make them some shiity stuff
So everyone I know that has an iPhone is always mad at it because it randomly freezes or it is slow. I've yet to get my Moto G to freeze or to lag at all. Gotta love almost stock Android experience.2
Some freelancers give a bad reputation to the community. There are genuine amazing developers but clients source to companies instead because of their bad experiences.
Things such as reviews and such don't mater much anymore.2
Is it better to implement a cryptpgraphic algo in a function or in a class? Also how?
I have a cryptography class and I really enjoy implementing the different techniques that we study in class. At first I was just implementing the techniques in a simple function with 3 parameters; key, message and a bool for encryption or decryption. But as they are getting more complex, it is becoming harder to continue implementing them in a single function block. So I thought of using a class but ran into the problem of how do I even do that? Do I make different methods for key generation, encrypting and decrypting?
P.S. It's really just for learning how the crypto technique works and not for anything serious.12
I installed Truecaller and it naturally scraped my contacts information. I realized that anyone now who had not saved my number can search who I am. I didn't want that to happen so I uninstalled Truecaller. But people still saw the name and profile I had created. So I reinstalled Truecaller changed my name and surname to 'Call me to know who I am' and uninstalled Truecaller again. Now it overrides the information so anyone searches for my number and hasn't saved it that's what he'll see.3
Random rant: the real ugly thing about dark themed apps is that you can't for the life of you find the taskbar so that you may drag the fucking thing around. (not a light theme guy btw)2
Are there any other devs out there whose minds go blank when they try to teach coding?
Whenever my friends ask me coding related questions, I just cannot explain it to them. I cannot think of any examples even. And when it comes to explaining the method used by the program, I just end up confusing them even more.
I feel so bad when I cannot help them understand.3
So I wanted to program a website, but i suck at design... Any tipps for me? I dont plan in employing people6
Past me is such a dick:
"Note to future self: this is a dirty hack taken straight from the ONLY StackedOverflow result. Didn't understand it then... "2
Aaaah, my delighted daily dose of wonderfully not-written-by-me CSS I have to edit from time to time...
I always feel so enlightened after spending time in those files.2
I think the only real constant thing that will never change is code. I can go back to it and the rules are plain and simple, none of the hard grey areas.
Soooo I have been taking my learning experience to Hackerrank.com, so that I can give myself some training with actual problems to solve instead of all theory, and today I'm working on one of the Challenges, and and I'm slowly getting it and working at it, then im looking at the code and think man I can clean this up a bit and merge things and make it look pretty! So I slave away and making it look pretty and stuff. I look at the code, all 70 lines of code and I'm so happy with my work. I pressed submit, of course I passed it! I had made sure every bit of my code made sense... After I finish and am so happy, I decide to take a look at what other people answered......
While my answer was 70 lines of code, almost everybody else's was AT MOST 18-20 lines of code!! Uggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Makes me feel like I got a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGG way to go...3
Thanks Windows 10 April update:
i'm not even mad for using my network on high priority when you were downloading the update or taking 1 freaking hour of my working time to finish the updates just to add spam to my lockscreen and an uglier task view but if you could please at least not f**k up all my Wifi, bluetooth and video driver it would be great!
Still having problem with bluetooth connection and i re-installed drivers several times!
One manager at the Client company tells us that unless we submit weekly timesheets we wont get paid.
We are not their employees, nor do we have an agreement with them for full time work.
" Whole thought process is to structure the engagement better ,so that we can implement better governance and provide better visibility."
Anyone understand what is being said above? Jargon.2
Vague requirement for feature A received from client
Business consultant refines
Example mapping done
Acceptance criteria defined
Scheduled in sprint
Unit tests passed
Pull request reviewed
Code merged and deployed to system test
Functional testing successful
Deployed to UAT
Client asked to sign off
Client: "Actually I don't want that feature."
did my taxes months ago with the official software. because i was honest enough to mention a 250€ (annually) income for a freelance job i was later forced to submit a form for entrepeneurs. well, ok. let's use the official software for that. "yes we have the form, but no, you are not allowed to use it from this year on, please use our online service"
two weeks later (!) i receive the token to complete registration. while trying to fill the form i recognize german tax system is exactly the recursive piece of incomprehensible shit like the attached help text.4
777/1054 [=====================>........] - ETA: 45:31 - loss: 2.6682
Screw you Keras model2
My first job was through a technology "Graduate Training Program" at a large bank. We were sold on the job being told that there would be a month of corporate training before getting to work. You know, stuff like presentation skills and Myers Briggs and actual useful stuff. And yeah, they did have that for like two days of the month.
The rest was the most bullshit work to basically kiss-ass to upper management. Having to analyze their commercials and explain how amazing they were and why (they sucked). Explaining a portion of the business to upper management.. you know- the business they knew because they are executives in it- but it had to be "fun". We were stuck making board games and rap songs to these things to make an ass of ourselves in front of executives.
Then after that I was stuck working on VB6 programming with a Cobol mainframe backend. So fucking awful.
8 hours trying to get the fuking print orientation to work with crystal reports. Had to shift to esc/pos and I dont know how to tell it the size of the page. Someone can help?
Wtf, vim its not about keybinding paradigm, Its about talking to vim.
Why make vim less special?
Why make this vim cancer?
Who using this, u drunk. (Go home...)
(U miss the point of using vim completely)4
Just wanna rant about something in general..
I'm quite serious about time commitments. I can't stand people who change their words at the last minute because all these weeks they were just fuckng around not preparing and doing that had to be done.
For fucks fake, we have been discussing every intricate details of things that had to be done!!
And even worse, they expect you to bear the consequence and delay all your plans for their convenience..
I started learning WordPress out of curiosity.
Configuration and deployment was easy peesy.
Site is up and running, BUT
Real challenge is, customize it according to clients requirement.
I purchased paid theme as well. It has theme builders installed to.
But I couldn't make it according to client requirements.
I neither found any resource where I could learn WP site customization.
What I'm doing wrong?18
What's really the matter with meetings?
I mean, we've all been annoyed at some point by some management person scheduling meetings we think of as pointless but I've actually found myself enjoying going to one where people can discuss and share ideas (dev related, mostly).
Sure, it's not great when you are focused and you have to stop to talk to some assholes sometimes but other times it didn't bother me to think they value my input/opinion somehow.
Surely the reason for their existence is not to make you waste time, right? 🤔1
Hey guys/gals!! I just got a recruiter offer me an interview for a job that would be a demotion AND require me to move 5 hours away! Too good to be true!!! As SUPER tempting as this is, I think I have to pass :-(. I know, bummer, right? But if anyone wants this AMAZING job opportunity that will allow you to step down on the ladder of success, let me know!! 🙄
"Get out of the weeds" they tell me.
I try and then every.single.project.goes.red.
Maybe I should just do and stop trying to manage.2
If someone is proud about using Alpha Five Software for developing... You just upgraded from MS Access to MS Access++... And you suck...
Go and learn some serious PL's and tools...1
Soo since my last rant on my whole f'ed life last December, life has been going on for a while.
I've been married and FINALLY land on 2 part-time job ( both require on site but time is flexible), so I do both currently. But after 2 month or so, I start to have some problem with my health. I've been working 12 hrs a day, not mentioning average 2 hrs on college classes daily, and my body health starts to weaken overtime.
I've lost 7 kg of weight in a single month and another 5 in the second month. ( Granted I as m obese so this is quite a good thing).
While one of the work still under trial period for 3 months, but sign says that I would asked to stay longer. And I can't afford to stop working bcs I need both salaries to help my little family stays afloat.
Wish me luck
*Btw, oot Question, but had anyone here working with an SDK from Russian based Security video management system named Axxon? If yes I want ask some question regarding their SDKs...
Arch switch update: after a day I still haven't gotten past sddm. KDE won't start on either X or Wayland with no logs in sight. Everything worked in VB.1
Had a hell of a week trying to convince a client that "Case Sensitivity" is a real thing in programming languages.
So there was some typo in some third party code which client had provided which was not giving the accurate results, but the client was not ready to listen. I asked him to get the variable rectified from the 3rd party from
var1 to Var1
But he somehow had a notion in the back of his mind that the 3rd party could never ever be wrong and it was surely I who had screwed up the code and he won't even bother the other team.
He was all like "I don't understand anything remotely connected with coding, but do explain me why is this not working ?" (His exact words)
Me (thinking): umm, WTF !!!
After to and fro for the whole damn week, finally able to convince him ( I guess, still doubtful) after giving the video and link of a jsfiddle showing him all the freaking magic of caseSensitivity!
You know what grinds my gears?
When someone complains about an issue, then bypasses it and ruins your ability to test. Sure, you can recreate it to the best of your ability, but if the issue is very specific, you're screwed (browser, data in prod, etc).
Used XSLT for the first time at work. It seems like it can be a pretty powerful tool in the right situation, but I'm not too happy that I have to use it in the first place.2
Intelligent Development class (yeah, that's how it's titled), teacher leaves us as first task to develop our own Database, because later we will make it a fuzzy database.
She gave us three days. Three (counting me) in the team. I began working on Interfaces (Java development) and so on, using GitHub for VCS and documenting each method.
This assholes didn't even ask what was missing or what should they do. One day before date, I told them "Hey, I think I can nail the underlying file management tonight, so, work on the language parser, please"
Stood awake until 1 A.M., waiting for their reply, but there wasn't any.
Next day, I'm the only one of the team and I tried to decline the presentation of my work, but a friend encouraged me, because it was my work and I worked hard.
Presentation went better than expected.
After the class, I have another with one of my team members, he asks "How did you do?", "Us? You meant me, because the other prick didn't go".
And that's all, not another single question nor explaining why did he didn't answered the DM's I sent.
Fuck those guys, fucking team of shit, I hate it when you can't pick your team, but I guess that's just a common place for all of us here, isn't it?3
Why the fuck are native desktop applications so damn slow when it comes to displaying remote/web contents???
Steam, XBOX/Microsoft Store, Apple App Store/Music are just a few examples. Waiting 1-2 seconds to perform a search, list products, start video playback or just loading a few bytes of text.
Even Internet Explorer destroys them when it comes to loading and displaying data! I prefer every overloaded electron based app over these crutches.
But honestly, why is this?!5
Hit me with distros to download/test.
I'm already familiar with mint, Ubuntu and Ive already downloaded arch.
Got an extra hdd from a laptop recently and I felt the urge to mess with it5
All you front end devs who work with dedicated design teams, what's you usual workflow? Do the designers pass on the UI kit with all the assets and dimensions and you clone the thing using whatever stack you're using or do you all decide the specs on the fly looking at the general visual structure of the design?5
Every week you meet with the loneliest dumb person explaining what you had already explained the last week.
Even now I remember the week that it all started. It all happened when I got the job 😅
Currently working on a conversion of a tool we use to keep track of our working hours (like how much time did we spend on that task, that project etc.), because the old version of that language sucks ass and the database system sucks even more ass.
Besides the other stuff that's freaking horrible in that fucking shit tool (crashes when entering wrong input, etc.) - the genius that created that peace of crap (1997!) decided that he wants to use a fucking timestamp as a PK-column on some tables.
Why the fuck would you that?! Jesus fuckin' christ.
And of course, the fuckin apprentice has to deal with this shit and has to be finished yesterday x)3
Is it just me or does everyone's earphone/headphone wire get caught on any damned thing exactly when your favourite part of a song is about to play
Like say I see fire's chorus might be coming up and a random amoeba might crawl along and my earphones would even get caught up on the little dude.
It's just sorcery
Do you know if there are ways for me to use xcode on Windows... Really regret of not buying a Macbook Pro. Seems that next week will have new MacBook for selling.1
Why is it that nobody can seem to figure out you need a god forsaken "cause" field of type Error in your Error class
How is this so fucking hard to understand for language makers3
There's time crunch already, we need to finish this feature, this stupid fucking feature, quickly.
We design, and then code and obviously because of Murphy's law, our code doesn't work. Why, you ask. Because some shithead was modifying arguments behind the scenes and it took us fuckload of time to reach this conclusion.
Out of frustration, I made this.
It's a tiny library which helps you log every single change done to your object.
But seriously, fuck that shithead who modifies things without a care in the world!