Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
One of my worst meetings, as the sheer rage was unbelievable.
Backstory:
Architect: "Stop duplicating code", "stop copy pasting code", "We need to reuse code more", "We need to look at a new pattern for unit tests" etc.
Meeting:
Architect: What did you want to talk about?
Me: I built a really simple lightweight library to solve a lot of our problems. Its built to make unit testing our code much easier, devs only need to change a small bit of how they work.
Architect: I like the pattern a lot, looks great ... but why a library? can we not just copy the code from project to project?
... do you have a twin or something?2 -
Today we were all called into a meeting and the CEO was livid. He went on a rage about how the CTO was wasting money on useless shit (GitHub Enterprise). He said I bought laptops for a reason if there’s a fire someone better protect our assets and code. He wouldn’t reason with us and went into github and deleted everything. The CTO was fired and no one is leading our team. Wondering if I should quit 😶
30 -
I am gonna rage for a bit.
Before I start, know this: I diehard love development, computer science and everythjng surrounding it.
The area comes with a very nice and interesting history and cultural impact. In particular, here as it was in the U.S of A. I love it, I love researching till my eyes beg me to stop and my brain fries. I love reading about history and the silicon knights that madd shit happen through digital wizardry.
And you can only imagine how happy I was when I got my shiny lol B.S in Comp Sci, keep it in my office and errthang.
I
Fucking
Love
My
Field
But. I have noticed something recently. In 2018(obviously before that) this new generation has a knack for making things cringey.
What do I mean by that?
Well, shit like that. Is it necessary? Or what about images(multiple) showing stuff like "double tap for your favorite language!"
Why? Why must we be this way? Why do people find a way to shit all over nice things? Is this shit necessary?
I specially hate pictures of girls showing their legs and right next to them a laptop with some basic af css file --->#codergirl ....fuck off.
Or the trillions of code pictures that are only html or some js framework flavor of the week.
Its just retarded man.
39 -
So, rage time.
A few months ago I inherited a big Wordpress website, with around 750 pages.
The client has reported the main menu is broken.
Upon looking at the code it appears the previous "Wordpress Developer" (ahem ...) attempted to rewrite navigation system - no idea why.
As part of the 4000 class below is a screenshot of part of the file where he's determining if the current menu item is active, within a loop. Whilst the whole if statement spans 409 lines - the code basically continues exactly the same downwards.
Shameful :/
22 -
Here's a true story about a "fight" between me and my project manager...
I've been working as a Frontend developer for nearly two years, managed to acquire a decent amount of knowledge, in some cases well above the rest of my coworkers, and one day I got into a bit of a disagreement with my project manager.
Basically he wanted me to copy/paste some feature from another project (needless to say, that... "thing" has more bugs than an ant farm), and against his orders I started doing that feature from scratch, to build a solid foundation from the very start.
I had a lengthy deadline to deliver that feature, they were expecting me to take some time to fix some of the bugs as well, but my idea was to make it bug-free from the moment the feature was released. Both my method and the one I should be copying worked the exact same, but mine was superior in every way, had no bugs, was scalable and upgradeable with little effort, there was no reason not to accept it.
We use scrum as our work methodology, so we have daily meetings. In one of those, the project manager asked me how was the progress on that new feature, and I told him I was just polishing up the code and integrating it with the rest of the project, to make sure everything was working properly. I still had a full day left before the deadline set for that feature, and I was expecting to take about half an hour to finish up a couple lines of code and test everything, no issues so far...
But then he exploded, and demanded to know why wasn't I copying the code from the other project, to which I answered "because this way things will work better".
Right after he said that the feature was working on the other project, copying and pasting it should take a few minutes to do and maybe a couple of extra hours to fix any issues that might have appeared...
The problem here is, the other project was made by trainees, I honestly can't navigate through 3 pages without bumping into an average of 2 errors per page, I was placed into this new project because they know I do quality code, and they wanted this project to be properly made, unlike the previous one, so I was baffled when he said that he preferred me to copy code instead of doing "good" code...
My next reply was "just because something has been made and is working that doesn't mean that it has been properly made nor will work as it should, I could save a few hours copying code (except I wouldn't save any, it would take me more time to adapt the code than to do it from scratch) but then I'll be wasting weeks of work because of new bugs that will be reported over time, because trust me, they will appear... "
I told him this in a very calm manner, but everybody in the meeting room paused and started staring at me, not many dare challenge that specific project manager, and I had just done that...
After a few seconds of silence the PM finally said... "look, if you manage to finish your task inside the set deadline I'll forget we ever had this conversation, but I'll leave a note on my book, just in case..."
I finished that task in about 30 mins, as expected, still had 7 hours till deadline, and I completely forgot about that feature until now because it has never given any issues whatsoever, and is now being used for other projects as well.
It was one of my proudest/rage inducing moments in this project, and honestly, I think I have hit my PM with a very big white glove because some weeks after this event the CEO himself came to the whole team to congratulate us on the outstanding work being made so far, in a project that acted against the PM's orders 90% of the time.11 -
Warning: contains swearwords!
Do you guy's also have coder-"friend" that:
- Always asks how to do things
- ask for code snippets
- steals your fucking code from Anydesk
- steals your passwords while testing
- steals your code from deobfuscated jar
- steals your jar and deobfuscate it
- steals your database to store stolen passphrases
- tries to convince you to build RATs for your users
- tries to convince you to build RATs for his users
- and so on...
??FOR FUCKING REAL THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL THAT HAPPENED TO ME!
HE IS A FUCKING SUCKER CUNT! HE PROMISED ME MULTIPLE TIMES THAT HE DELETED MY PROJECTS AND TELLS ME HE IS STILL USING THEM TO RESEARCH MY CODE FOR HIS CODE!!!
HE FUCKING RECORDED ME WHILE CODING WITH AN API I AM NOT USED TO WHILE I ASK HIM FREQUENTLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE AND HE THEN SENDS IT TO HIS FRIENDS TO PISS ME OF AND LAUGH ABOUT ME!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHY THE FUCK ARE ASSHOLES LIKE HIM NOT IN FUCKING PSYCHIATRY!
AND I CAN'T GET RID OF HIM BECAUSE I AM TOO FUCKING NICE!!
FOR GODS SAKE PLS LET A LIGHTNING STRIKE HIT HIM IN HIS FUCKING FACE!
AT FUCKING LEAST I GOT SENT AN IMAGE OF HIS ADDRESS SO I WILL SHIT IN A FUCKING BOX AND SEND IT TO THAT CUNT!16 -
Why in the name of Donald Knuth did you think it was a good idea to have a 1500 line Java Method? What THE HELL WERE YOU SMOKING THE ENTIRE FILE IS OVER 3000 LINES AND HALF OF THEM ARE COMMENTED OUT!
Don't even get me started on your "unit tests" which is a massive 5000 line behemoth that randomly has massive swaths of code commented out.
And of course no solution like this would be complete with you HARD CODING EVERY F****INIG STRING IN EVERY TIME!
And it's not like you don't know how to use classes as you have several of them, every single one of which is over 500+ lines and consists of only getters and setters. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO A MAP! REALLY WHY WOULD YOU USE 500 LINES FOR A CLASS THAT IS JUST GETTERS AND SETTERS?!
The part that really burns me about all of this though, isn't the fact that you sent it to me when I was running into a similar issue, and said "check this out it should help", what bothers me most isn't the indescribable rage I felt looking at your code, the part that really really really bothers me is that you are a veteran with over 15 years in Java development, and according to the org chart are a lead senior engineer getting paid substantially more than me, whereas I am considered a lowly mid-level developer, who isn't worth promoting to your level.
On the plus side you are now going to be featured on theDailyWTF so congrats on the notoriety.8 -
This Part 3 and finale of the tale of Mr DDTW, or the worst coworker I've ever had to deal with. I suggest you start from the beginning if you don't have the context, it's been a trip.
Part 1: https://devrant.com/rants/4210605
Part 2: https://devrant.com/rants/4220715
The problem with this man threatening to snitch on me to the professor if I didn't revert my commit was that he backed me into a corner. Letting him go at his pace with his quality standards would have ruined the project for the rest of us, and I'm not going to let three other people's grades suffer because one was lazy. I'm the PM, team lead, the guy who will ultimately be held responsible for this project succeeding or failing and the mediator of problems.
So I snitched first.
The professor knew us. He had an idea of how we worked as a team, who was enthusiastic about this subject, who was diligent, and who wasn't. It'd been half a semester and he wasn't stupid. I'd also taken the not-so-minor task of testing our software and handling all the little integration problems between components and between the professor's server. This had resulted in several calls between me and him because he'd been flying by the seat of his pants with some of the upgrades he'd been doing to the server code and as the fastest group we were the ones running into all the bugs on his end. And he'd also noted our prior complaint and seen the discrepancy in commits, author tags and hours logged. Mr DDTW had been graded significantly worse than the rest of us. So when I sent him a goddamn novel about our team's internal problems, the bomb was set. And so we get to the conference call, with everybody panicking and with no clue what any of this is about. Except me.
Dear god. That call was pure catharsis. Never have I seen a man get demolished so hard. Mr DDTW got a 45 minute LECTURE, a goddamn SMACKDOWN, about how he needs to take some responsibility for this team effort and that in the real world he'd have been fired. And the professor was so incredibly serene throughout! He could've blasted him with the rage of a thousand suns but he said it in such a way that Mr DDTW's only real responses were "yes", "I understand" and "I'm sorry". An entire semester of this useless fucking bitch being nothing but a leech on our team in three separate projects and he was finally getting SCHOOLED. And then, it gets even better. The professor asked how we could solve this problem, as Mr DDTW needs to do work to be graded but he can't hold us back.
I dropped a suggestion: As I had implemented the module in a way that worked, we could carry on using my version while Mr DDTW could work on a separate branch. Everything else was working reasonably well for an MVP, we just needed to improve and test now, so if Mr DDTW got it working we could merge it back into the main branch. This solved the team's problem of not being able to progress, it solved Mr DDTWs problem of not wanting to fail the course, and it solved my problem of not having to work with this shit-for-brains for the forseeable future. A weight was lifted off my shoulders. No more Mr DDTW. No more bitching and no more shitcode. A grating arsehole that had been bugging everyone all sememster put in his place and out of my hair.
On the way home from uni that day, I rang a friend and told him the entire story as I needed to get it off my chest. Every time I brought up a problem, an issue, a setback, an argument, he made a remark.
"Damn, if only he just... did the work."
Every time he said it it was in a slightly different way, but every time it made me laugh harder as he just didn't stop interrupting me with the same comment. If only he did the work. But the funniest part of all was how right he was. Mr DDTW had so many opportunities to just sit down, shut up, and do the work like the rest of us, but instead he decided to do fuck-all until he got flak for it and proceeded to dig his own grave. What sort of delusional entitlement, sheer incompetence or other dumbfuckery was he suffering from to make such terrible decisions? It's his last year of university and he still hadn't learned to just do the goddamn work (I would later find out that his friend had covered his shortcomings a lot and was apparently the reason why he hadn't flunked out of uni yet).
And so ends the story of Mr Didn't Do The Work the worst person I have ever had the displeasure of working with. We never did merge his branch as we ran out of time during testing. The professor passed him, possibly out of pity or just so that he wouldn't have to resit the course and burden some other poor sods. We weren't the top scorers this time, partially because of my shortcomings as PM but mostly because of the huge delays and manpower deficit, but we did well enough to pass the course with some very high grades. With one exception of course.5 -
We used to use Trello for our team boards and was starting to transition to Gitlab's issues for better code integration...
I became aware that my boss was being "demanded" to have a better analytics of our team performance so I started digging more insightful issue/tasks software like YouTrack ( Jetbrains ) and Jira ( Atlasian ).
After 2 months of trial and learning I suggested we go with YouTrack.
"We" are now using it for about 6 months already and it is a fucking mess.
My peers have no clue how to scrum, even after my efforts to teach them and they even spent a fucking 3 days workshop about it on fucking Google (!?!?) without me ( there is a rant about it ).
My boss is a nice person but the dude lacks any trace of competence to manage anyone other than him.
I'm tired of babysitting a man that is 10 years older than me and has a car that costs almost 10x mine.
I'm two days back from vacation and I almost rage quited 5 times.3 -
This here is some source code that i made. And I'll admit, I was a bit frustrated at the time of making. I just started learning to code in HTML and CSS a coulpe days ago. And a friend asked if I could make him a website. So I told him that I barely know the basics yet. And he says that it doesn't matter just as long as he gets a website. So now, a couple days of tryhard coding later, he raged about how bad the site looked and that he himself could have done a better job than I did. And yet the entire site had over 300 lines of code in it (perhaps not very much for you hardcore coders out there, but a biiig step for me) and several subpages, all with custom error pages and all. Although I'll admit, the design was a fucking ugly as fuck since i can design about as good as an alligator flies. But man was I mad after that, haven't talked to him since. The bastard. But to he point, in my rage i made this. An outburst of anger that I later refactored to fit a large amount of devs (since I reckon 99% of programmers deal with clients/customers instead of friends). And if anyone has a spare dns space to put the code on, then help yourself.
The link is:
https://pastebin.com/aFcK10YK
Have a good day!8 -
Oh I have a good one.
A dev once was added to the team -he deleted all of the whitespace from the backend code (minified) and called that optimising. We had a lot of back and forth and me reverting the things back to non minified and him back to minified on live environement. I shit you not i had to endure that shit and he kept on insisting that I'm the shitty developer because I don't know how to optimise. I'm starting to rage even thinking about it....13 -
So Friday afternoon is always deployment time at my company. No sure why, but it always fucks us.
Anyways, last Friday, we had this lovely deployment that was missing a key piece. On Wednesday I had tested it, sent out an email(with screenshots) saying "yo, whoever wrote this, this feature is all fucked up." Management said they would handle it.
The response email. 1(out of 20) defects I sent in were not a defect but my error. No further response, so I assume the rest were being looked into.
In a call with bossman, my manager states that the feature is fixed, so I go to check it quickly before the deployment(on Friday).
THERE IS NO FUCKING CODE CHECK-IN. THE DEV BASTARD JUST SAID THAT MY USECASE WAS WRONG, SO MY ENTIRE EMAIL WAS INVALID.
I am currently working on Saturday, as the other guy refuses to see the problem! It is blatant, and I got 3 other people to reproduce to prove I am not crazy!
On top of that, the code makes me want to vomit! I write bad code. This is like a 3rd grader who doesn't know code copy-pasted from stack overflow! There is literally if(A) then B else if(!A) then B! And a for loop which does some shit, and the line after it closes has a second for loop that iterates over the same unaltered set! Why?! On top of that, the second for loop loops until "i" is equal to length-1, then does something! Why loop???
The smartest part of him ran down his Mama's leg when it saw the DNA dad was contributing!
Don't know who is the culprit, and if you happen to see this, I am pissed. I am working on Saturday because you can't check your code or you lied on your resume to get this job, as you are not qualified! Fuck you!15 -
My boss codes shitty ugly fucking abominations.
These fucking piles of hacky crap are worth less than a penny puked out by a dog, eaten by another one and then shit out, grabbed by a vagrant, stuffed in his arse and then sold as raw metal by the cremation worker after the former's death.
Fuck this. I'm not gonna rewrite this. Fuck you.4 -
I have this teacher who focuses so much on documentation that I hardly get to code sometimes. The worst experience with that teacher was with a project I think about two years ago. Every time I came up with (modified) documentation (we have to document EVERYTHING before allowed to start programming) she would turn me away with some bs argumentation and also point out non existing English grammar errors (my English is way better than hers). After nine weeks of documenting (so, no single line of code yet and projects take ten weeks) she gave me the green light. Then at 'delivery' she had the fucking balls to to tell me that MY CODE WASN'T THAT STABLE AND GOOD YET.
I WAS LITERALLY HAVING A LIVE RAGE ATTACK OVER THERE.4 -
That feeling of reilef and rage when you find out the crippling bug in your code is because you are passing the wrong variable and not because the function is broken.3
-
Did you fucking idiots think that I was gonna tell you to implement async await on the requests and not notice that you IMPLWMENTED GODDAMN SYSTEM-SLEEP YOU DESNE MOTHERFUCKEDS IT NOT TAKES 10X AS LONG AS MY OATCH TO JUST LIMIT THE NUMBER IF HTTP REQUESTS FOR FUCJS SAKE THIS CODE LOONS LIKE A RACCOON FUCKED AN MACBOOK THAT ALSO GOT FUCKED BY A GOAT FROM CHERNOBYL THAT SOMEHOW MUTATED TO A RACCOON GOAT 🐐 MACBOOK 💻 HYBRID ABOMINATION THAT IS NOW CLAWING MY EYES OUT AND GIVING ME RABIESCANCERAIDS5
-
I hate academia. It feels like a rigged game, where some people don't have to do even the bare minimum to have their paper accepted, thanks to their associations/connections. I just read a paper who got accepted to a top robotics conference, with no published code, no bench-marking against other methods and obviously no looking for related and previous work on that topic. I am furious!
12 -
You utter &@£#s. You give rediclious promises to clients without consulting Devs how long items will take, when issues with project are clarified with client months in advance you turn around week before last and do a massive U turn. Expect junior developers to be masters of Photoshop, flash, server side technologies and to get around and code the front end. Then developers who are putting in the over time already you demand a massive load of overtime extra and threaten us if we don't meet the deadline?! Sat here blood boiling. last guy here litrually rage quit because of issues like this and #&## I think I'm going to too, so hard to try stay professional! ##&##&# I have had it!2
-
I was just waiting for it to happen. The gaslighting charade finally crumbles.
Tldr: was strongly asked to work overtime again for no reason, refused it (weakly, but it is a start).
(Boss isn't actually my boss, just my unofficial lead at the moment.)
1.4 hours after regular work hours:
Me: boss, this issue is still not resolved but I am out of ideas for it. Already shared my last resort idea twice with you but you don't agree to it. If you are available I can meet you for a short call before logging off for the weekend.
.
10 minutes later, just as I am about to log off.
.
Boss: let's meet. The problem implies something wrong with your code. Let's check.
Me: [ugh] okay
.
Boss then rambles on about a juvenile nsfw joke to describe the situation and I force a laugh, we get to the topic. I manage to explain the situation despite the interruptions from him. Then he shares his genius idea. We agree it might work but the implementation will be slightly tricky. It is now 2 hours outside of work hours.
.
Boss: can you try it out and let me know if it works?
Me: sure, I'll try it out on Monday and keep you posted.
Boss: Monday?!! Look, it is getting on my nerves now, this has been going on for too long (false, since the issue is from a day before not a week before and I had asked for help multiple times before today).
I don't even know what big boss is going to be like. This needs to be done.
Me:. ...
[ You manipulative asshole, I'm not doing overtime for you, I owe you nothing and don't give a shit about your senile nerves. Fuck you and your shit codebase and clusterfuck development environment which makes the hairballs in a public toilet look well engineered.]
Look, it is difficult for me too...
Boss: If not now, I can accept weekend. Because I don't know how big boss will take it. You understand right what I'm saying. This needs to be done.
Me: [Fuck off scum chod! Take your acceptance, fuck it hard, and take it away with you! ]
Hmm. Let's see what can be done.
Thanks for your help.
Logged off.
I can't express the tone of his righteous rage in words.
I have never had to face such revolting attitude before from people at work. I just don't get how people can be so ridiculous. The whole team is filled with chodebags of different sizes.35 -
That pure rage when you're off work for a few days, and return to find that someone has been in one of your magnificently neat code files, and taken a syntactic shit! Loads of unnecessary whitespace, tabs all over the place, and copy/pasted comments that have nothing to do with the code! 😫1
-
I tried a few methods.
First osmosis. I would put several programming books under my pillow but that was just a pain in the neck.
Next I tried the TF/RQ methods. I would try to write some code not knowing anything about the language. When it didn't work I'd rage quit and flip the table. That ended with a pile of broken IKEA desks and a lot of spilled coffee. (RIP Coffee 😔)
Finally I sat down and came up with a problem I wanted to solve. I googled it, looked at answers. Tried the code myself, if it worked I'd go over it piece by piece so I could explain to anyone exactly what it did and why.
Honestly, learning to code just comes down to doing it and being fearless. The more curious you are, the more you'll learn.1 -
Being a programmer in a scientific discipline can be infuriating.
using "no one" ="almost no one"
using everyone = "almost everyone"
1. No one knows what even the very idea of good practice is. And everyone refuses to learn. 3k lines of repetitive copy pasted main. 500 lines of plotting method.
2. Raw C-style pointer based array creation. Won't use develope array libraries because what if development stops. FUCKING HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CODE WHAT IF DEVELOPMENT ON YOUR CODE STOPS. FUCK.
3. LOOP VARIABLES DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE METHOD WHY.
4. Everyone wants to make modular, independent code. No one wants to use OOP. NOPE. ALL IN ONE FILE. WRITE C++ LIKE A FUCKING PYTHON NOTEBOOK. FUCK.
5. LIBRARIES OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT CODE UP YOUR MATRIX MULTIPLICATION. PLEASE DO NOT TRIPLE LOOP IT. NO. THE LINEAR ALGEBRA LIBRARY WILL STAY IN DEVELOPMENT.
6. Please realize that literally not one comment over an 1800 line file does not help anyone.
FUCKING. WHY. WHY ARE WE SCIENTISTS SO GOOD AT SCIENCE AND SO FUCKING SHIT AT THE CODE THAT MAKES OUR SCIENCE HAPPEN. WHY. FUCKING. WHY. FUCK.4 -
After a few weeks of being insanely busy, I decided to log onto Steam and maybe relax with a few people and play some games. I enjoy playing a few sandbox games and do freelance development for those games (Anywhere from a simple script to a full on server setup) on the side. It just so happened that I had an 'urgent' request from one of my old staff member from an old community I use to own. This staff member decided to run his own community after I sold mine off since I didn't have the passion anymore to deal with the community on a daily basis.
O: Owner (Former staff member/friend)
D: Other Dev
O: Hey, I need urgent help man! Got a few things developed for my server, and now the server won't stay stable and crashes randomly. I really need help, my developer can't figure it out.
Me: Uhm, sure. Just remember, if it's small I'll do it for free since you're an old friend, but if it's a bigger issue or needs a full recode or whatever, you're gonna have to pay. Another option is, I tell you what's wrong and you can have your developer fix it.
O: Sounds good, I'll give you owner access to everything so you can check it out.
Me: Sounds good
*An hour passes by*
O: Sorry it took so long, had to deal with some crap. *Insert credentials, etc*
Me: Ok, give me a few minutes to do some basic tests. What was that new feature or whatever you added?
O: *Explains long feature, and where it's located*
Me: *Begins to review the files* *Internal rage wondering what fucking developer could code such trash* *Tests a few methods, and watches CPU/RAM and an internal graph for usage*
Me: Who coded this module?
O: My developer.
Me: *Calm tone, with a mix of some anger* So, you know what, I'm just gonna do some simple math for ya. You're running 33 ticks a second for the server, with an average of about 40ish players. 33x60 = 1980 cycles a minute, now lets times that by the 40 players on average, you have 79,200 cycles per minute or nearly 4.8 fucking cycles an hour (If you maxed the server at 64 players, it's going to run an amazing fucking 7.6 million cycles an hour, like holy fuck). You're also running a MySQLite query every cycle while transferring useless data to the server, you're clusterfucking the server and overloading it for no fucking reason and that's why you're crashing it. Another question, who the fuck wrote the security of this? I can literally send commands to the server with this insecure method and delete all of your files... If you actually want your fucking server stable and secure, I'm gonna have to recode this entire module to reduce your developer's clusterfuck of 4.8 million cycles to about 400 every hour... it's gonna be $50.
D: *Angered* You're wrong, this is the best way to do it, I did stress testing! *Insert other defensive comments* You're just a shitty developer (This one got me)
Me: *Calm* You're calling me a shitty developer? You're the person that doesn't understand a timer, I get that you're new to this world, but reading the wiki or even using the game's forums would've ripped this code to shreds and you to shreds. You're not even a developer, cause most of this is so disorganized it looks like you copy and pasted it. *Get's angered here and starts some light screaming* You're wasting CPU usage, the game can't use more than 1 physical core, and after a quick test, you're stupid 'amazing' module is using about 40% of the CPU. You need to fucking realize the 40ish average players, use less than this... THEY SHOULD BE MORE INTENSIVE THAN YOUR CODE, NOT THE OPPOSITE.
O: Hey don't be rude to Venom, he's an amazing coder. You're still new, you don't know as much as him. Ok, I'll pay you the money to get it recoded.
Me: Sounds good. *Angered tone* Also you developer boy, learn to listen to feedback and maybe learn to improve your shitty code. Cause you'll never go anywhere if you don't even understand who bad this garbage is, and that you can't even use the fucking wiki for this game. The only fucking way you're gonna improve is to use some of my suggestions.
D: *Leaves call without saying anything*
TL;DR: Shitty developer ran some shitty XP system code for a game nearly 4.8 million times an hour (average) or just above 7.6 million times an hour (if maxed), plus running MySQLite when it could've been done within about like 400 an hour at max. Tried calling me a shitty developer, and got sorta yelled at while I was trying to keep calm.
Still pissed he tried calling me a shitty developer... -
At work, my closest relation is with the DBA. Dude is a genius when it comes to proper database management as well as having a very high level of understanding concerning server administration, how he got that good at that I have no clue, he just says that he likes to fuck around with servers, Linux in particular although he also knows a lot about Windows servers.
Thing is, the dude used to work as a dev way back when VB pre VB.NET was all the rage and has been generating different small tools for his team of analysts(I used to be a part of his team) to use with only him maintaining them. He mentioned how he did not like how Microsoft just said fk u to VB6 developers, but that he was happy as long as he could use VB. He relearned how to do most of the GUI stuff he was used to do with VB6 into VB.NEt and all was good with the world. I have seen his code, proper OOP practices and architectural decisions, etc etc. Nothing to complain about his code, seems easy enough to extend, properly documented as well.
Then he got with me in order to figure out how to breach the gap between building GUI applications into web form, so that we could just host those apps in one of our servers and his users go from there, boy was he not prepared to see the amount of fuckery that we do in the web development world. Last time my dude touched web development there was still Classic ASP with JScript and VBScript(we actually had the same employer at one point in the past in which I had to deal with said technology, not bad, but definitely not something I recommend for the current state of web development) and decided that the closest thing to what he was used was either PHP(which he did not enjoy, no problem with that really, he just didn't click with the language) and WebForms using VB.NET, which he also did not like on account of them basically being on support mode since Microsoft is really pushing for people to adopt dotnet core.
After came ASP.NET with MVC, now, he did like it, but still had that lil bug in his head that told him that sticking to core was probably a better idea since he was just starting, why not start with the newest and greatest? Then in hit(both of us actually) that to this day Microsoft still not has command line templates for building web applications in .net core using VB.NET. I thought it was weird, so I decided to look into. Turns out, that without using Razor, you can actually build Web APIs with VB.NET just fine if you just convert a C# template into VB.NET, the process was...err....tricky, and not something we would want to do for other projects, with that in we decided to look into Microsoft's reasons to not have VB.NET. We discovered how Microsoft is not keeping the same language features between both languages, having crown C# as the language of choice for everything Microsoft, to this point, it seems that Microsoft was much more focused in developing features for the excellent F# way more than it ever had for VB.NET at this point and that it was not a major strategy for them to adapt most of the .net core functionality inside of VB, we found articles when the very same Microsoft team stated of how they will be slowly adding the required support for VB and that on version 5 we would definitely have proper support for VB.NET ALTHOUGH they will not be adding any new development into the language.
Past experience with Microsoft seems to point at them getting more and more ready to completely drop the language, it does not matter how many people use it, they would still kill it :P I personally would rather keep it, or open source the language's features so that people can keep adding support to it(if they can of course) because of its historical significance rather than them just completely dropping the language. I prefer using C#, and most of my .net core applications use C#, its very similar to Java on a lot of things(although very much different in others) and I am fine with it being the main language. I just think that it sucks to leave such a large developer pool in the shadows with their preferred tool of choice and force them to use something else just like that.
My boy is currently looking at how I developed a sample api with validation, user management, mediatR and a custom project structure as well as a client side application using React and typescript swappable with another one built using Angular(i wanted to test the differences to see which one I prefer, React with Typescript is beautiful, would not want to use it without it) and he is hating every minute of it on account of how complex frontend development has become :V
Just wanted to vent a little about a non bothersome situation.8 -
Want to make someone's life a misery? Here's how.
Don't base your tech stack on any prior knowledge or what's relevant to the problem.
Instead design it around all the latest trends and badges you want to put on your resume because they're frequent key words on job postings.
Once your data goes in, you'll never get it out again. At best you'll be teased with little crumbs of data but never the whole.
I know, here's a genius idea, instead of putting data into a normal data base then using a cache, lets put it all into the cache and by the way it's a volatile cache.
Here's an idea. For something as simple as a single log lets make it use a queue that goes into a queue that goes into another queue that goes into another queue all of which are black boxes. No rhyme of reason, queues are all the rage.
Have you tried: Lets use a new fangled tangle, trust me it's safe, INSERT BIG NAME HERE uses it.
Finally it all gets flushed down into this subterranean cunt of a sewerage system and good luck getting it all out again. It's like hell except it's all shitty instead of all fiery.
All I want is to export one table, a simple log table with a few GB to CSV or heck whatever generic format it supports, that's it.
So I run the export table to file command and off it goes only less than a minute later for timeout commands to start piling up until it aborts. WTF. So then I set the most obvious timeout setting in the client, no change, then another timeout setting on the client, no change, then i try to put it in the client configuration file, no change, then I set the timeout on the export query, no change, then finally I bump the timeouts in the server config, no change, then I find someone has downloaded it from both tucows and apt, but they're using the tucows version so its real config is in /dev/database.xml (don't even ask). I increase that from seconds to a minute, it's still timing out after a minute.
In the end I have to make my own and this involves working out how to parse non-standard binary formatted data structures. It's the umpteenth time I have had to do this.
These aren't some no name solutions and it really terrifies me. All this is doing is taking some access logs, store them in one place then index by timestamp. These things are all meant to be blazing fast but grep is often faster. How the hell is such a trivial thing turned into a series of one nightmare after another? Things that should take a few minutes take days of screwing around. I don't have access logs any more because I can't access them anymore.
The terror of this isn't that it's so awful, it's that all the little kiddies doing all this jazz for the first time and using all these shit wipe buzzword driven approaches have no fucking clue it's not meant to be this difficult. I'm replacing entire tens of thousands to million line enterprise systems with a few hundred lines of code that's faster, more reliable and better in virtually every measurable way time and time again.
This is constant. It's not one offender, it's not one project, it's not one company, it's not one developer, it's the industry standard. It's all over open source software and all over dev shops. Everything is exponentially becoming more bloated and difficult than it needs to be. I'm seeing people pull up a hundred cloud instances for things that'll be happy at home with a few minutes to a week's optimisation efforts. Queries that are N*N and only take a few minutes to turn to LOG(N) but instead people renting out a fucking off huge ass SQL cluster instead that not only costs gobs of money but takes a ton of time maintaining and configuring which isn't going to be done right either.
I think most people are bullshitting when they say they have impostor syndrome but when the trend in technology is to make every fucking little trivial thing a thousand times more complex than it has to be I can see how they'd feel that way. There's so bloody much you need to do that you don't need to do these days that you either can't get anything done right or the smallest thing takes an age.
I have no idea why some people put up with some of these appliances. If you bought a dish washer that made washing dishes even harder than it was before you'd return it to the store.
Every time I see the terms enterprise, fast, big data, scalable, cloud or anything of the like I bang my head on the table. One of these days I'm going to lose my fucking tits.10 -
It's both extremely satisfying and extremely rage-inducing when you learn that an update in the framework breaks your once perfectly functional code for no reason.
Especially when said code is from a sample written by the developers themselves.
Thank god there was a hotfix. -
My day:
9 am: crack knuckles, ready to start day
9:01 am: oh, that PR I sent last week hasn't been reviewed yet and I need it in mainline. Better merge latest and get someone to look over it.
9:02 am: now the test suite is broken, better fix that up before getting it reviewed.
1 pm: phew, that was a slog. Now to get on with today actual programming
1:01 pm: "hey buddy, you coming to that tech leads strategy meeting?"
5 pm: Jesus what a meeting. Now maybe I can get a little code written. I'll just fast-forward to latest...
5:01 pm: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES A BAD MIGRATION AND EVERYONE SHOULD AVOID USING THE LATEST VERSION WHY DIDN'T YOU REVERT THAT SHIT DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE AND RESTRICT YOUR STUPID WINDPIPE UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND GIT *RAGE TABLEFLIP*2 -
Pro Tip: If you spent all day debugging and shit's still not working, go get yourself an oversized, fully functional enter-key-pillow. Your code will probably still not work, but now you can at least spare your keyboard and smash that enter-key with all your built up rage
1 -
you motherfucking cocksucking ass wipes.
How fucking hard is it for you JS cockheads to have STABLE fucking code?
So hear I am, thinking through a side project for data extraction and loading to automate some shitty part of my job, that could be used by the broader team... and decide to use electron.... I know it's a clusterfuck, but this wouldn't be a big application, so against my better judgement I run:
npm install electron
npm start
...
Error: unknown spawn
🤷♂️ you had 1 fucking job... 1 fucking lousy shit stain of a job, and you can't even have something run out of the god foresaken box without someone debugging your shit.
Now who has a WORKING alternative to electron?10 -
A note to my team, who I hope never actually reads this.
To my manager: Grow a fucking spine, you asshat! We literally ignore you, you are useless!! Other people do your job, and you can't even talk to your reporting person directly! You have us do it!
To my tech lead: You are crazy, but in a good way! I have no idea how you cram so much work into so little time, and I would march into hell for you. You are in the trenches with us, and I respect you greatly!
To dev number 1: You are hard working, but stop modifying my code and breaking it!
To the other devs: If you leave 4 hours before the tech lead anymore, I will beat you to death with a cum filled sock! My rage fucking erection is that strong!
To everyone else: fuck you!10 -
I just started commenting my code. I know, its horrible i havent done this earlier..
I actually enjoy it now, i can express rage, write small jokes for myself to read next time i gotta edit the code, or just remind myself how fucking stupid i used to be11 -
ask about his game code logic he will rage, ask about how his front end code doing he will rage, talk to him about my server so that his front end code can follow he will rage.. and the end of final project which I merge my code and his code (I need to refactor nearly everything) he said you are very hard communicate. _. fml2
-
A (work-)project i spent a year on will finally be released soon. That's the perfect opportunity to vent out all the rage i built up during dealing with what is the javascript version of a zodiac letter.
Everything went wrong with the beginning. 3 people were assigned to rewrite an old flash-application. Me, A and B. B suggested a javascript framework, even though me and A never worked with more than jquery. In the end we chose react/redux with rest on the server, a classic.
After some time i got the hang of time, around that time B left and a new guy, C, was hired soon after that. He didn't know about react/redux either. The perfect start off to a burning pile of smelly code.
Today this burning pile turned into a wasteland of code quality, a house of cards with a storm approaching, a rocket with leaks ready to launch, you get the idea.
We got 2 dozen files with 200-500 loc, each in the same directory and each with the same 2 word prefix which makes finding the right one a nightmare on its on. We have an i18n-library used only for ~10 textfields, copy-pasted code you never know if it's used or not, fetch-calls with no error-handling, and many other code smells that turn this fire into a garbage fire. An eternal fire. 3 months ago i reduced the linter-warnings on this project to 1, now i can't keep count anymore.
We use the reactabular-module which gives us headaches because IT DOESN'T DO WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO AND WE CANT USE IT WELL EITHER. All because the client cant be bothered to have the table header scroll along with the body. We have methods which do two things because passing another callback somehow crashed in the browser. And the only thing about indentation is that it exists. Copy pasting from websites, other files and indentation wars give the files the unique look that make you wonder if some of the devs hides his whitespace code in the files.
All of this is the result of missing time, results over quality and the worst approach of all, used by A: if A wants an ui-component similar to an existing one, he copies the original and edits he copy until it does what he wants. A knows about classes, modules, components, etc. Still, he can't bring himself to spend his time on creating superclasses... his approach gives results much faster
Things got worse when A tried redux, luckily A prefers the components local state. WHICH IS ANOTHER PROBLEM. He doesn't understand redux and loads all of the data directly from the server and puts it into the local state. The point of redux is that you don't have to do this. But there are only 1 or 2 examples of how this practice hurt us yet, so i'm gonna have to let this slide. IF HE AT LEAST WOULD UPDATE THE DATA PROPERLY. Changes are just sent to the server and then all of the data is re-fetched. I programmed the rest-endpoints to return the updated objects for a very reason. But no, fuck me.
I've heard A decided (A is the teamleader) to use less redux on the next project and use a dedicated rest-endpoints for every little comoutation you COULD DO WITH REDUX INSTEAD. My will is broken and just don't want to work with this anymore.
There are still various subpages that cant f5 because the components cant handle an empty redux state in the beginning, but to be honest i don't care anymore. Lets hope the client will never find out, along with the "on error nothing happens"-bugs. The product should've been shipped last week, but thanks to mandatory bugfixes the release was postponed to next week. Then the next project starts...
Please give me some tips to keep up code quality over time, i cant take this once more.
I'm also aware that i could've done more, talking A and C about code style, prettifying the code, etc. Etc. But i was busy putting out my out fires, i couldn't kill much of the other fires which in the end became a burning building (a perfect metaphor for this software)4 -
If I had to audit my current code I'd definitly stick a cactus up my arse shouting in the mirror:
ALL YOUR CODE IS GOOD FOR IS ULTIMATE DELETION. YOU FILTHY MAGGOT! LEARN TO CODE... *rage quit*
Really, coding shit because of spare time simply makes me ripping my face of 💀 -
I got scammed for $600.
Its not the scam that pissed me off. Its my ego as an engineer that blinded me.
It was last year during crypto nft ups and downs.
Its called a frontrunner scam.
From what I remember, I followed this tutorial on YouTube to setup this bot on remix ethereum compiler.
I read all the code and couldn't find anything fishy.
So I figured, all the comments are hyping it, fuk it, $600. Let's see how it goes, I can take out my money if it flops.
And this fuking contract wouldn't show any updates on Etherscan
The guy in the video mentioned you may need to wait a while.
Plus he sounded like an honest guy.
I googled it after I fuking put my money in and followed the tutorial.
And a video explains the scam.
Theres a file filled with comments to throw you off. But hidden in the comments is some code to change the wallet the crypto goes to.
Fuking wrekt. Rookie mistake.
I went to the hackers telegram group and told them I'd report them, he said you gota put in more money for it to work.
Realized I'm being trolled, I rage quit and never told a soul.10 -
1. i'm drunk.
2. please do me a sanity check
3:
this video, at this timestamp, watch the following about 5 minutes or so:
https://youtu.be/oG-6Ltp1_yE?t=1129
4. tell me (and possibly him in comment) if i'm wrong in the (point) of the following comment i wrote under that video:
20:53 ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME YOU ABSOLUTE MORON?!
yes, US has an altitude software written in fuckin VBA with an explicit statement to ignore errors, and there's not about 10x more automated testing code for a critical piece of functionality, than there is of the code that handles the actual functionality, and it's not been tested off-line (in simulated environment) as well as on-line (IRL) for at least years in all conditions, before it was deployed, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORON.
CAN YOU JUST PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY STICK TO WHAT YOU ACTUALLY PROPERLY UNDERSTAND?!
HOLY FUCK THE LEVEL OF ARROGANCE IN YOU IN ASSUMING THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU KNOW VBA YOU KNOW HOW PROPER SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT IS DONE, HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
I've worked in companies of 1k employees and less, on absolutely non-critical stuff, that has DevOps and QA processes and infrastructure that would make your script kiddie head spin for WEEKS, LET ALONE FUCKIN MILITARY SW DRIVING MILITARY EQUIPMENT YOU ARROGANT KNOWITALL FUCK.
Please, just please, FOCUS ON FUCKING DOING VIDEOS ABOUT STUFF YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND, instead of stuff your ego overinflated from years of debunking dunning-krugers tells you that you're an expert in despite never actually having worked even near those fields. PLEASE. You are amazing when doing those, but this bullshit is just fucking rage-inducing. Don't ever talk about software again, because that's obviously YOUR dunning-kruger area, you fuckin bigheaded script kiddie.12 -
The more I'm on here the more I remember all the shit I have had to deal with in the past.
Anyway, lets rant! I just moved cities after college to be closer to my family, I didnt have any work lined up at that stage but started job hunting the moment I was settled in, I did some freelance for smaller companies to stay afloat.
Eventually I got a job at this agency startup where "SEO" was there main focus, still very inexperienced they put me on frontend and data capturing but will teach me how to code using their systems in due time. At this stage I was getting paid minimum wage, but I was doing minimum work and it wasnt that bad.
A new investor bought 49% of the company and immediately moved into the office space to focus more on marketing (He was one of those scaly marketing guys that will sell you babies if he could get his hands on enough to make a profit).
This is where everything starts going to shit. He hires a bunch of "SEO Gurus", fills up the small office with people like sardines squished together. Development was still our main money maker at this stage, so there where 3 new more senior developers at this stage and I started learning a lot really fast.
Here are some of the issues we had to deal with:
1. Incentives - Great more money, haha! No, No, you where 5 minutes late so you only get half of the promised amount.
2. For every minute you are late we will deduct it from you paycheck (Did I mention I was getting paid minimum wage).
3. If you take a smoke break we will dock it from your pay.
4. Free gym membership to the gym downstairs, but you can only go once a week during your lunch.
5. No pay raises if you cant prove your worth on paper.
He on purposely made up shitty rules and regulations to keep us down and make as much profit as he could.
Here are some shitty stuff he has done:
1. We arent getting a 13th check this year because the company didnt make a big profit - while standing next to his brand new BMW.
2. Made changes over FTP on clients work because we where too slow to get to it, than blames me for it because its broken the next day and wants to give me a written warning for not resolving the issue Immediately. They went as far as wanting to fire me for this, gave me 1 day notice for meeting and that I can bring a lawyer to represent me (1 day notice is illegal, you need 5 days where I am from), so I brought a lawyer since my mom was a lawyer. They freaked the fuck out and started harassing me about this a week later.
3. Would have meetings all the time about how much money the company is making, but wont be raising our pay since no one has proven they are worth it yet.
4. Would full on yell at employees infront of the entire office if they accidentally made an mistake on a clients project.
One one occasion I took a week off for holiday, my coworker contacted me to ask a question and I answered that I will handle it when I am back the following week. Withing 2 hours my other boss phones me in a rage, "he is coming to fetch the company laptop from my house in 5 minutes, he will let me know when he arrives. Gives me no time to talk at all and hangs up - I have figured out what has happened by now so when he showed up he has this long speech about abandonment, and trust and loyalty to the company. So I pass him my laptop once he shut up and said: "You do know I am on holiday leave which you approved, right?", he goes even more silent and passes me back my laptop without saying anything, and drives off.
While the above was happening Douche manager back at the office has a rage as well and calls the whole office (25 people) to a meeting talking about how I abandoned the company and how disgraceful that is.
Those are the shitty experiences I can remember, there where many more like this. All of the above eventually led to me going into a deep depression and having panic attacks weekly, from being overworked or scared to step out of line. Its also the reason I almost stopped coding forever at that stage. I worked there for 2.5 years with the abuse.
I left 2 weeks after the last shit show, I am ok now and have my anxiety and depression well under control if not almost gone completely.
Ran into Douche Manager a few months ago after 9 years, the company got bought out and the first person they fired was him. LOL! He now has his own agency and is looking for Developers (They are hard to find he says), little does he know I spread his name far and wide to all and every Dev I knew and didnt know to avoid working for him at all costs. Seems like word of mouth still works in this digital age.
Thanks for reading this far!5 -
ME - me, TM - teammate
I was just recruited to the company. We're starting new project based on few modules.
ME: So this module will do X and Y, I will use good old interfaces and design based on abstractions so that stuff does not get glued too much.
TM: But why? Make good old processor with all the logic and throw objects at it.
ME: B-but unit tests, decomposition and othet stuff...
TM: *insists and forces me to agree*
ME: *gets shit done his way, TM checks on code review and complains but generally doesnt give a fuck*
ME: Ok, its done. Lets get shit shipped.
TM: Well, we were just told by PM that we will need to process one more source with much different logic that does not fit current solution (he did meant GOD-PROCESSOR, idea of his).
ME: What do you mean? *injects another contextual implementation of processing logic to template method pattern solution*.
TM: I will tell PM you cant make it because of the implementation.
ME: But I just did it...
TM: Impossible, processor needs to be reimplemented. Get your shit together!
ME: *still doesnt get the shit about the god processor love*
TM: *rage quits next month*
ME: *module gets reused once more 2 month later, profit* -
I read the pragmatic programmer a few months ago. The book advised learning a different programming language every month or so. I was doing Advent of Code so I decided to try out Elm because functional programming is all the rage these days.
It took me one hour to convert a string of numbers to an array of numbers! And when I finally finished with that I couldn't understand how to compare each element with the next one in an array using map or filter.
I realised that I've become too comfortable using javascript. Worst case scenario: In a few years when javascript is obsolete I'll be like those old dudes that know only Cobol. Best case scenario: I'll always be too dumb to earn a nice salary.
On a positive note: The first time I tried Elm I didn't understand jack shit, now I understood a few things.5 -
- working on a personal project
- got angry at windows for sucking so bad at running fucking vs code of all things
- banged the palm rest on laptop in rage
- windows freezes
- restart
- harddisk died
- lost my collection of notes from college
- lost all my photos
- but most importantly, lost my progress on a project that I was working on and hadn't git push
- FANTASTIC
Lession learned. Always have a backup. ALWAYS.6 -
React native is such a pain to get started with! I feel like Ive wasted way too much time just trying to set up a functioning example. I'm too stubborn to give in. I'm about to rage code right now lol6
-
That one line of code that you know the logic of it and you know what is causing the error, but you can’t fix it!3
-
I am acting as a code janitor
Cleaning other people's shitty code
#rage
Finished working on my module and there is avalanche of existing shit down the mountain which i have to cleanup because somehow it was fine before with all flies over it. -
I am pretty much the reason for most of my team's rants/rage today. I basically pushed commits that reverted most of our project's code to a near "start" state. All because I misread a change request. This side of paradise sucks!!!
-
When rage turns to sadness :
With great frustration wrote and debugged android code since morning , so as a reward , I thought about rebooting my laptop once the code was working and committing it later. Code ran , rebooted my laptop and went to get some coffee, only to find that bodhi crashed and wouldn't run without live usb. No commit, no backup, all went down the drain1 -
What absolute fucking imbecile thought an upper limit of 6.0.0 would make sense for max supported PHP version on the entire Magento 1.9.3.X code base. Not to mention the installer is broken on account of them not fucking understanding InnoDB is default engine in MySQL.
Seriously Mage Rage is real.5 -
I don't even know if the shitty rant gets through this unreliable service I pay for with my money. I want to fucking wrap my hand in that money, light it up and fucking beat your teeth out while shoving this fucking money down your greedy, second arseholes. Honestly, what am I paying you for. These last couple of days your service was less reliable than a drunkard behind the wheel trying to drive in a straight line. Exactly this fucking week where there's a fucking hackathon. This very fucking week l where I got to be the team leader, you make me look like a fucking unreliable internet twat who just talks big. This very fucking week I'm given a internet service that doesn't even let me communicate with my team mates. Why do you dare to display fucking 3g? Is the the force my fist should take? Is it the fucking amount of gallons of acid you want to be showered with? Well fucking pay that shit with the money you earned. Just let me fucking work, let me give my best, give me a fucking way to look at the docs, give me a fucking way to test my code (chat bot), give me a fucking way to tell you to go fuck yourself using your fucking antennas, maybe thst will help.
Kindly, a pissed of customer who's rage makes the heatwave look like a lesser evil.1
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View