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Search - "goodbye"
Real HR policy ...
HR Manager in Heaven!!!
One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "
"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules."
And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all companies9
So I wrote a code in HTML and js that puts an alert on the screen that says "all of your info is mine now, goodbye" and then redirects you to the nyam cat site
I sent it to some of my friends to have a little laugh but they have sent it to other people and eventually the school principle called me and told me to go to her office and retrieve all the data I stole
I went there and explaind her the prank but she didn't believe me
So she called the programming teacher to check the file
She laughed as hard as I've ever seen anyone laughing and told me to go back to class
It was scary and funny but the thing I've learnt is that it's stupid to prank ignorant people.18
Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi
Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???
Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Me: *jumps out window*17
“It’s okay, you can go, the pain will be over soon, thanks for everything, I love you”
I never thought saying these words to my cat would be so hard.
I’ll miss you.36
I FINALLY DID IT!! I landed a job!! I'm going to be a firmware engineer!! Woohoo!! 😁
It only took half a year, but I finally got one, and purely off my own merit. It feels damn good when you get the job with no references or connections, just your own skills.
After a highly successful on-site technical/whiteboard interview, I was 90% confident I'd get it. The fact that my job search is finally over, is such a fucking relief. Good riddance to endless interview prep, applications & rejections.
I start on Monday. Goodbye freedom >.<19
Well guys it was nice being dev while it lasted. Reevaluated my life and decided to travel the vast world and become a Pokemon master.7
Anyone know this bitch hacker 127.0.0.1 story?
WORST HACKERS OF ALL TIME
CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS BECUASE IT IS SO LONG...
TLdr bitch hacker hacks himself by localhost
bitchchecker (~email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 126.96.36.199
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~email@example.com) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~email@example.com) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..31
I might have to say goodbye to all the tech I have now because my parents are pissed off about me not wanting to talk everything about the university.
Everything... Just taken away if I don't tell them exact fucking grades in every subject until tomorrow.
How about killing me now, huh? At least I would fucking have an ending to my suffering under them.80
So... This company was in trouble. They hire me to help fix things and build this nice new stack to get rid of their old legacy monster application.
I'm there for three weeks when one of their top investors storms in. Apparently they are turning less profit than they told me during my interview. (Yeah, it is one of the things I always ask, even thought I don't always get an answer).
So this investor/shareholder guy starts on this motivation speech which is basically a veiled threat that "we" need to do better.
Obviously he doesn't know anyone in the room other than the boss. And it was apparent, at least to me, he also has 0% knowledge of anything related to software development. The boss doesn't look to happy about having to let this happen.
Then the guy turns to me. He points his finger at me and demands to know how failing so badly makes me feel...
So I answered truthfully... "I've only been here for three weeks, so I don't think I've been failing too much, yet. Now, how long did you say you've been throwing money at this failure without getting the return you wanted?" Emphasizing the "you" by pointing right back at him.
That doesn't shut the guy up, but he does bring his "motivational" speech to a rapid close.
He doesn't bother saying goodbye when he stormed out again, not even to the boss, who looks a lot happier at this point.
Apparently the guy pulled this stunt every couple of months (or weeks, if he was bored enough). After this encounter, he apparently had enough of trying to "motivate" us developers. We I didn't see him again in the 2 years I worked with the company after that.
I got a pay raise the month after. Apparently that was totally unrelated to this incident... 😙🎵12
Are you serious? Are you afraid of an SQL injection or something, and instead of properly sanitizing your queries you disallow characters? Or is your software and database so outdated that you're afraid special characters will break it? Goodbye security15
Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant
It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning
I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging
Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!
So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here
*epic guitar solo
Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
Any way this code blows10
Remember the Ububtu mobile OS ?
I remember working on the community UI drive for this project. To know that something as awesome as ubuntu would come down into the form factor of a phone , was just ecstatic.
The first build was out , people liked it. People nagged a bit about the performance issues , but it was going fine. Then the second build .. then the third no one heard about and the 4th that never came.
The interface for this system was unique because after Wondows , this is the only other OS developer that embraced the one ecosystem mantra of design.
Using Ubuntu phone was natural , it was a small desktop OS.
I remember logging on to launchpad one day and seeing the Ubuntu mobile channel with it's last post " Thank you and goodbye "
It was heartbreaking , but i could understand. Like windows phone ( which if you guys weren't aware of , had APK support by the end of its lifecycle ) felt crushed under the weight of android and iOS.
Waiting for a day when there will be a third champion in game. I miss having to see Ubuntu being on my phone , but they seem to be doing great in everything else , so good on that. 😄
Ok done .. thanks32
One of the coolest good bye message I have ever seen in my company...
The code is so clean with proper comments...11
I'd say that one of the most emotional days for my entire team was when a potential client called us and told us that they just rescued a teenage girl and prevented her from making a suicide by using our service.
The service itself is extremely simple and does not even work in all cases (due to various limitations). But when it does, it saves time, money and above all lives. When you realise that the girl who has already wrote her goodbye letter and ran away is saved at the top of the cliff... Well, then you know that you are doing at least something right!9
Since a "Hello world" program terminates immediately after printing its message, I personally prefer "Goodbye, world"5
CLIENT: It's just a small website, 15-20 pages 2,500$, what do you say?
ME: Sure, sounds easy.
CLIENT: oh, and I need you to sign this contract that you won't copy or competete with me for the next two years.
ME: Sounds reasonable.
-- A year later --
I had finished building a huge CMS system that serves 420+ organizations, the entire thing copied from his competitor.
CLIENT: So there is only about two weeks left of work...
ME: Goodbye, I have a new job that actually pays money.
CLIENT: Don't forget our contract...
At least he paid me, but 2,500$ for a whole year's work isn't such a good deal anymore.9
Goodbye to programmers best friend. He was the best dog, the best listener, a great pair programmer, and someone to keep my lap warm while I work. And more than all of that, even though he was a dog...he was my friend. Goodnight buddy. I hope I see you on the other side.11
I waited until yesterday evening to watch the livestream capture from our creators.
Was expecting something like them being bought by MS or Google or whatever due to how good this awesome network is doing/growing.
As so, i was mentally preparing for a goodbye (the second this data gets into the hands of a data hogging company I'm fucking out (as in, the one who owns the databases)) and then I started watching the livestream.
"aaand here it issssss!!"
Well that was one hell of a relief!14
Not necessarily dev related but I need to get this off my chest.
So a bit of a backstory. I had to stay late from school the other day and ended up having to take an Uber home. The ride was fine lady was nice. Everything seems to be going well and there were no signs of any payment failure.
Then yesterday, I had to stay late again. I never said that I had an outstanding balance on my account. Apparently Uber was having problems charging my Android pay account.
So I ended up being stuck at school for like 3 hours. Great!😑
So I emailed Uber when I got home. And this is when I started pulling my hair out. I don't know how many replies I had, but each time I had to tell them that I was not using a prepaid card.
This was one of my replies:
"I'm sorry, are you real? If you are, here is a quick summary of the issue. I am using ANDROID PAY with my CHASE DEBIT CARD. Not, NOT, NOT a prepaid card. I happen to know that CHASE DEBIT CARD(which is the card I use, in case you have already forgotten) works with uber because MY FATHER USES THE EXACT SAME TYPE OF CARD with uber. He uses a CHASE DEBIT CARD(again I use that same type of card as well). So by using LOGIC I am able to deduce that a CHASE DEBIT CARD is in fact compatible. AGAIN THIS IS NOT A PREPAID CARD!!! If the card is incompatible, WHY DOES THE APP ALLOW BE TO ADD IT?!?! Also in response to your last email... Because I am using Android pay, do you really think that an ANDROID would be able to use APPLE pay? Also Google wallet is DISCONTINUED! Finally, PayPal DOES NOT CONNECT TO UBER. Returns a "Server Error." So please stop wasting my time with generic help solutions. Believe me, I have already googled my issue, and nothing comes up. That is why I contacted Uber. I want my driver to be paid, and, uber had made it SO painful with unhelpful "Solutions" to problems that don't even APPLY TO MY ISSUE. No not even mention PREPAID cards in your reply or I will consider you a robot built by monkeys banging their heads on a keyboard. Uber HAS my VALID payment information, USE IT! If there is a phone number I can call, please, enlighten me"
And the response was:
"Thanks for reaching out with this.
Happy to help with this issue you are having.
After reviewing your I can see that the only payment method associated with your account is an ANDROID PAY card and it is also a prepaid card. Some cards and methods are not compatible with our billing processes and can't be used with Uber. This includes prepaid cards."
So I concluded that they are monkeys.
Then Uber banned me from logging into my account because I didn't pay.
So now it is impossible for me to pay because I can't do anything with my account.
Now they want my SSN and a bunch of other shit that I won't give them.
I told them that they were being illogical, and I got the exact same response about the prepaid bullshit.
So I sent them this photo as a goodbye.
I get my driver's licence next weekend, so I won't need Uber anymore. YAY!
Also mind grammatical errors, I talked it in and am to lazy to proofread14
Once upon a time in Devland, there were two best friends @Alice and @Michelle and they worked together at The DevCo company as developers.
After a tough day handling an @-ANGRY-CLIENT-, they thought that they had to go and @RantSomewhere and so they went to a café. At the café, they ranted about some stupid clients, and @theItalianGuy at the third floor of their office building who never picked up calls, and @thatJavaGuy from the second floor who, they thought, was @notarealDev, and the usual stuff about their work. Somewhere in between, @Alice thought it would be @funvengeance to @hack @theNSA; “@karma is coming to get them”, said @Michelle.
To do this, they knew they’d have to take help from none other than @Gandalf who lived in a nearby @cave. So, the next day, taking a leave from work, @Alice and @Michelle embarked on journey to meet @Gandalf. After about an hour’s drive, they reached @Gandalf’s @cave. @Michelle went ahead to knock on @Gandalf’s rusty cave door. Being a lazy @necromancer, he magically opened his door 2 minutes later. “Who is't dares to disturb me in mine own catch but a wink?” shouted a voice from the back; “We’re two developers from DevCo and we need your help in our mission to @hack @theNSA”, shouted @Michelle. After a few seconds, he replied, ”Hmm… N'rmally I wouldst sendeth thee to mine own cousin @Hagrid, but in thy case, I sayeth thee shouldst visiteth the detective who is't goeth by the nameth @S-Holmes”. @Alice replied back, “Thank you, Sir @Gandalf, we’ll get help from this @S-Holmes, I’ve heard that he’s an @exceptionalGuy”; “Mine own pleasure, Farewell!” said @Gandalf, and the door closed shut.
So, @Alice and @Michelle went back to their car, and that time @Alice raised a question, “How are we gonna find this @S-Holmes? We don’t have a phone number or anything so we could contact this guy.”
“We should call @thatJavaGuy from work, I’ve heard he is a man of resources, he must know how to contact @S-Holmes”, said @Michelle.
And it was true, after a call with @thatJavaGuy, they were able to obtain @S-Holmes’s phone number.
“Howdy, this is @S-Holmes, what can I diddily ding dong do you for?”
“Hi, I’m @Alice, I’m from DevCo and I was hoping that I could get your help in our mission.”
“What kind of mission?”, asked @S-Holmes.
“We want to @hack @theNSA.”, replied @Alice.
“Okay… I think I might be able to hel-diddly-elp you! There’s an old and abandoned laberino noodly-near @stacked Street. It was made in @1989 and since then, it houses a magical computeroo that can hel-diddly-elp you in your mission. So, you just have to connect the computeroo to the Internet and you can diddily ding dong do your programmeroo thing and then you'll have access to the the noodly-nsa diddily ding dong database!”, answered @S-Holmes.
S-Holmes continued, “But I shall warn you, there's a riddly-rumorino that the laberino was abandoned because of an @electric-ghost that lurks there, but I bel-diddly-elieve it is just a computeroo program that was diddily ding dong designed to try to @stop hackers from accessing the top secret stuff!".
“Okay, thanks for your help! I bet we can handle whatever this @electric-ghost thing is, so… Goodbye!”, replied @Alice.
“Goodbye!”, said @S-Holmes and that ended their conversation.
Luckily, the @stacked Street was just a couple of miles away from them, so they reached the lab quickly.
As they got close to the lab they saw something that really surprised them…
To be continued in part two...
(Do you want a part two? :/)
My first ever story is a little special because it is kind of dev related at it has "cameos" by various devranters, as you might have noticed.
How many did you count?
More in Part Two.
Thank you for reading and please, any feedback is welcome. Did you like it?
I haven't really revised it once, it is straight out of the keyboard.
Should I drop the "@" ?
But then it would impossible to spot some of the devRanters .
Let me know.
What should be the title?
1)Alice in DevLand?
2)Adventures of Alice and Friends: Hacking the NSA?
You decide..(or maybe I'll pick the second one :D)23
Friend: you're good with computers right?
Friend: great so i signed up for this site that likes posts and i think they hacked my account
Me: ok... and?
Friend: well since you're good with computers do you think you could hack my account back?
Rutee, the debugging tool for seniors who dodged coding tasks for years and now can't even fix the most basic errors. Yes, send me every error you get from every step you take. Even when it's written in plain English, somehow you cannot understand it. Expect no response from me unless it's a legitimate problem that can't be easily figured out by reading the error message.
I speak English, you speak English, the error message speaks English. I will not hold your hand through this step-by-step because I believe that the program is already leading you there and every time I answer you, I cannot paraphrase my sentences enough to make it any more clear and simple as the error message.
For your reference:
Missing module = the module is missing
Cannot be found = it cannot be found
X doesn't have attribute Y = X doesn't have it
Cannot login = it cannot login
You suck dicks for a living = you're a professional cocksucker
Go fuck yourself = just do it
This isn't some advanced hardcore error bullshit. You struggle with missing files, imports, access issues, and the errors are already telling you what you missed and what you need. How about you read the code and the error message?
Goodbye. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.6
Man, I think we've all gotten way too many of these.
Normally most interactions that I have are through email. Eventually some would try to contact me via phone. These are some:
"Hey! We are calling you from <whatever company name> solutions! (most of them always seem to end on solutions or some shit like that) concerning the Ruby on Rails senior dev opportunity we were talking about via email"
<niceties, how are you doing, similar shit goes here...eventually>
So tell us! how good/comfortable would you say you are with C++?"
Me: I have never done anything serious with c++ and did just use it at school, but because I am not a professional in it I did not list it in my CV, what does it have to do with Rails?
Them: "Oh the applications of this position must be ready to take in additional duties which sometimes happen to be C or C++"
Me: Well that was not anywhere in the offer you sent, it specifically requested a full stack Rails developer that could work with 3 different frontend stacks already and like 4 different databases plus bla bla bla, I did not see c++ anywhere in it. Matter of fact I find it funny, one of the things that I was curious about was the salary, for what you are asking and specifically in the city in which you are asking it for 75k is way too low, you are seriously expecting a senior level rails dev to do all that AND take additional duties with c++? cpp could mean a billion different things"
Them: "well this is a big opportunity that will increase your level to senior position"
Me: the add ALREADY asks for a senior position, why are you making it sound that I will get build towards that level if you are already off the bat asking for seniors only to begin with?
Them: You are not getting it, it is an opportunity to grow into a senior, applicants right now are junior to mid-level
ME: You are all not making any sense, please don't contact me again.
Them: We are looking for someone with 15 years experience with Swift development for mobile and web
Me: What is up with your people not making these requirements in paper? if I knew from the beginning that you people think that Swift is 15 years old I would have never agreed to this "interview"
Them: If you are not interested in that then might we offer this one for someone with 10 years experience as a full stack TypeScript developer.
Me: No, again, check your dates, this is insulting.
* For another Rails position
Them: How good are you with Ruby on Rails in terms of Python?
Me: excuse me? Python has nothing to do with Ruby on Rails.
Her (recruiter was a woman) * with a tone of superiority: I have it here that Python is the primary technology that accompanies Rails development.
Me (thinking this was a joke) : What do you think the RUBY part of Ruby on Rails is for? and what does "accompanies Rails development" even means?
Me: This is a joke, goodbye.
To be fair this was years ago when I still didn't know better and test the recruiters during the email part of being contacted. Now a days I feel sorry for everyone since I just say no without even bothering. This is a meme all on itself which no one has ever bothered to review and correct in years for now. I don't know why recruiters don't google themselves to see what people think of their "profession" in order to become better.
I think people in web development get the short end of the stick when it comes to retarded recruiters more than anywhere else.6
There are things that i wish i didn't see.
Yesterday, i went to a coffee shop to relax and reviewing my works. And suddenly a college friend of mine approach me and we started talking about work.
Me: So, What do you do at work? What's your stack?
Him: Not much of a new. Still working with wordpress, html,css and jquery.
So he started talking about how cool wordpress is and how he generates money doing sites.
Me: Can i see your sample works?
Him: Sure, *opens his shitty windows laptop with Web Tech stickers*. and handover his laptop to me.
Me: Woah. the design is so neat (I'm lying). But it's freaking slow man(REALLY FVCKING SLOW).
* I decided to open the devTools and inspected the source code. And I can't believe what i saw.
- 20+ images with 2~4mb file size
- CDN's of bootstrap, foundation and semantic UI
- LOTS OF FVCKING PLUGINS
* I didn't told him what i saw. I just turn over the laptop to him and finish my coffee.
Him: My sites are cool right? I have a lot of pending projects right now. Easy money Bruh!
Me: Wow. *sips* coffee. and say goodbye to him and walkout.
I FEEL BAD FOR HIS CLIENTS!4
Boss: A client has reported that he can't add products to the cart he gets redirected to "empty cart page" on safari or edge not sure, can you check it out?
Me: It's working on safari and edge but not on IE, I get that exact same problem on IE.
Boss: ok don't mind about IE
Me (inside) I've lived long enough to hear that YEAH !!!
Goodbye my old friend IE hahaha :D4
Deepin Linux. I like you a lot. But the fact that I can't install any software right now means I'm going to leave you.
Goodbye Deepin and hello ChaletOS Linux!23
Goodbye web development; welcome back algorithms and scripting... How I missed you so much in these agonizing days we've been apart. But fear not, I shall never return to web development...
Well, I still have important websites to finish, but I won't let web development become my niche.13
Someone stole my mouse when moving office... Dude the things on MY DESK are mine, you can't just take people's stuff and make it yours
Now I am using your crappy mouse... 😑6
I finally realize why the managers at my work are so against remote work.
We've gone remote now and had a meeting yesterday that somewhat demanded people to be engaged. I have never seen such grown up and otherwise professional people act so irresponsible. Managers had to raise their voice towards 30+ year olds in order to get their attention.
I've been silently hoping that remote work would become more accepted, as a silver lining, during this Corona shit. But if this is common behaviour in other workplaces then I guess I can kiss that dream goodbye.10
Some motherfucker at the gym called me. “Hey @growling, I am here with that gym you signed up with 5 months ago and your card for membership renewal isn’t working.”
“Yes sir. It’s 8am.”
“Don’t you think it’s a bit too early?”
“Did you get a new card?”
“Hey call me at lunch or something, I’m going back to sleep.”
“Okay, or you can call me. Goodbye”
Acting like you got better shit to do with your time.
Like he wanted to lecture me and say waking me up at 8am is fine. Like he wanted to say he came from a hardworking family and so he can say waking me up at 8am is fine. Shiiit dude my mom used to work with two broken hips for 7 days a week until I made six figures. Bless her heart, that’s why I got her a new car and money each month to pay all her bills. She’s been out of work for 2-3 years now. So lecture me. Only my mom can lecture me, boy. Cause she raised me to be an engineer.
Also, why do I see this everywhere as well? I get lectured for drinking beer on a Sunday or Monday during lunch at my frequent visits to liquor store.
“Don’t you have work?”
Yes, 9-5. But I’m an engineer. So it can be 10-6 or 11-7. Doesn’t matter. All of the stuff I do follows sprints and not direct interaction with customers!
I get tasks done and I teach interns to help me get tasks done. In time. And sometimes even more.
I know my schedule is so lax you want to criticize me. Maybe you think I don’t work? Or work as hard as you?
Tl;dr I intentionally act like a spoiled baby when it comes to work so that service/retail/manual labor people lecture me so I can tell them that we work differently than what they’re used to.
I have free snacks. Don’t get me started about gloating about free beef jerky. People hate me on online forums for doing that! Drink beer on tap in work kitchen. A glass of wine anytime I want. Sleep in until sometimes 11am. But that’s why I’m an engineer, buddy.2
A few months ago, I decided to let go some old clients with bad behavior and/or bad projects, since I noticed this was affecting my mental health (lowering my self esteem, make me feel depressed, anxious, etc).
I was exhausted of doing miracles in projects without git, build files, staging enviroments (yes... you can imagine), and receive all sort of curses when sudenly something stopped to work.
I set some requirements to work with any new project/client: 1) project needs to be under version control, 2) it must have staging enviroment, 3) I must work with build files.
As I still have contracts running, I'm communicating this to clients as soon as I finish my obligations.
Today, one of these clients told me they are leaving to work with another developer.
Reason: They said my new requirements are unreasonable and they prefer doing the old way.3
Remember the time when eating good, exercising, and staying healthy was a positive thing? Well, say goodbye to that.
If your abs are showing, you're not eating enough.
If you can walk for a few minutes without fainting, you're too hard on yourself.
If you're not downing 9 types of medications due to bad health, you're not living life to the fullest.
If you have hobbies that don't revolve around the screen, you're a fucking boomer.
If you have a social life, you're not edgy enough.
If you don't have an unhealthy cult-like obsession with a programming language or tool, you can't hang that fucking "Stay hungry, stay foolish" quote in your living room. You hear that, bitch?! You only get to hang "Eat, pray, love"!
That moment that your favourite YouTube channel (I only use YouTube from google and mostly through hooktube.com) announces closing soon.
I’m genuinely very sad. This channel was awesome because it allowed for beginning raw producers to get feedback from raw fans and even get in touch with the top raw labels!
Some top producers which are around now got into the game because of this channel and I was hoping that that’d be me one day as well.
I’ll miss you, RawstyleNation 😥❤️16
The worst part of getting a new laptop is having to say goodbye to all the stickers you invested on your old one44
I received my evaluation and instead of getting fired, they gave me some really good feedback. I'm surprised.
After weeks of bitching, the other team finally removed their JIRA issues from me. Now I have more time to focus on my original team and we're gonna start on building stuff from scratch for the new version of our product so it will be goodbye spaghetti soon.
Since I'm a regular employee now, I've unlocked some special benefits. They have quite a lot but two of my favorites are - 30 days paid vacation and I can arrange for more if I allocate my benefits right and $6k reimbursible travel expenses. Those two suit my current goals pretty well.
As always, since the dawn of time, they gave me high ratings on technical skills and just a "good" on functional, it's always been a weakness of mine. The client said I finish things on time, often days earlier than the deadline. I guess I'll slow down a little bit and try to learn more on the functional side? But it's gonna be a fun ride since they have no documentation.
I just feel motivated now. 😊7
I did it ma! I installed Arch Linux! On a pendrive!! First try too! Now I just have to slowly add things I need and configure it slowly.. Goodbye weekend :')3
Not a rant but it's Friday and thought people could use a laugh.
When I was a teen we used AOL and for those who don't know, it was a test of patience to log on. It had to dial in, actually connect, and then you hoped it wouldn't disconnect for whatever reason. Just getting it to connect would take 30 min or more some days. After you were logged in you would get an audio of *Ding Ding*, followed by "Welcome!" and if you had email, "You've got mail!"
So, I decided to play a prank on my dad by swapping the Welcome sound file with the Goodbye sound file. He was waiting for a long time to connect, getting so frustrated. Then it finally does and he hears:
And loses it. Then he notices he is still online and calms down, confused.
I told him about it later but my brother and I got a good laugh out of it.1
Yesterday I changed my phone's battery. Now guess who stuck with broken loudspeaker phone..
Man, I miss the old day when you can pop that back cover and change the battery.3
It's Sunday night... Jira is emailing you because your product manager assigned you 12 tasks.
You're about to check what these tasks are, then realize ... my weekend isn't over yet!
Goodnight phone, goodbye g-mail, it's time for some more games and TV3
I'm 4 days into my new job, and so far I am absolutely loving it. Here's my setup. Yes, they gave me 3 monitors plus a laptop, so my setup has 5 screens! Now I can die happy :D
Definitely worth noting as well, since it caught me by surprise - the company-supplied laptop is a powerhouse. High-end i7 CPU, mid-to-high-end NVIDIA GPU, tons of ports, 1TB HD, 4K display, and 48 GB RAM. Yes, 48 GB. I am truly blessed, starting off my career with this. ^_^11
Found a "great" variable name while maintaining legacy code:
Report goodbye = Report::first($id);
Goodbye report! 😂😂😂
This is most probably my last rant : (
FUCK INDIAN EDUCATION SYSTEM! I got recently promoted to 11th Grade and end of the story. I got fucked. Is it because of my percentage in 10th grade? NO! It's 11th and 12th grade. Ranters, if you think this is a rant by a stereotypical high school kid then you're wrong. Well, I am a high school kid but FUCK!! Let me explain: We have two major career paths in India: Medical and Engineering. In Medical, there are various colleges such as AIIMS and JIPMER (The Respected ones) and in Engineering, you have IIT (Indian Institutes of Technology). To get inside most of the medical colleges you have to complete a stupid exam called NEET which is primarily based on 11th and 12th-grade portions and JEE exam for engineering. To complete these bull shit exams we have to literally kill ourselves. I want to bring you the notice of 0.001% of students who are interested in one of these fields but were forced to choose the other one because of their parents. Let's get this straight, they are our parents and they know everything about us and everything which is right for us. We won't calculate their decisions we just obey them and I want to bring notice of 0.000001% of students who are programmers and were forced to take medical path like myself. I am screwed!! I can't access my computer. My programming skills will get rusty and I can't be what I wanted to become. I am not complaining about the things we have to study as a student but what they are doing is removing the opportunity for students like us to pivot our career. I am now forced to study for the medical exam which means no more computer for the next 2 years. After 2 years, I have officially lost all my programming stuff and I may get into some medical college then for the next 5 years I am fucked studying for the degree and then the next 10 years for the practical experience. Then you have successfully wasted your life.
Thanks to my nation's educational system! I have to quit my hobby and my dream. Thanks for reading this long rant and goodbye!
PS: I will try my best to come to devRant every week at least in the restroom.58
"Hey guys, i don't have any clients on the website"
"Yup the new guy drop the database"
Goodbye Holydays ...15
I've been fired today and somehow it was an relief :)
As I know that I am pretty much the only one who knows how the infrastructure works and I am the only one who actively tried to get the company to a better level of coding (tests, code reviews, proper deployment / continuous integration,...) It somehow feels like that gif.10
The blue icon is back on VSCode and multiple root directory support! Finally!!! This is now my full time text editor. Goodbye Sublime!11
Am I the last one here late to the party? Just try out and impressed by VSCode and this is my thoughts about the editors:
- I have been loyal to Sublime Text for like 5+ years, cannot complain much.
- Notepad++ was my first love, but absent on Linux so got to say goodbye.
- VSCode is the latest I try out and very rare one I could spend a couple of hours to dive into its settings to make it easier to use. The extensions are impressive!
- Atom, Bracket, and those blabla of their kind are bullshit.
- Jetbrains products are heavy ass, I can't even take a note!
- Vim is great too, but it's not the thing that I can just "open up and start typing".
- Have no idea about Emacs, but supposedly it's nowhere near its UI-friendly brothers, so I give no patience.28
Thank you for fucking me
Thank you for sucking me
Thank you for lying to me
Thank you for showing your true self
Thank you for teaching me what type of people to avoid
Thank you for sharpening my focus
Thank you for making me suffer
Thank you for improving my grind
Thank you for being a bitch
Thank you for being a whore
For now i have taken heavy damage and a heavy loss of time
For i shall take it as a reminder
A lesson to never forget
Short term gain
Long term fulfillment
And vice versa
The perfect balance
You will not be missed
I am done dealing with this fuckin bullshit
A friend asked if I could take a look at the function, which he wrote, to see if two trees are equal.
The chat conversation:
F: I sent code.
Me: *put eye on "flag and && true"
F: You are there?
F: All right?!
A few hours later...
Me: Each time this function is executed, a programmer dies. Goodbye.
And so it's over.10
Tonight, my long-time friend died. He was living in the basement for years, always reliable, always at my service, keeping my files, watching for my git repos, being my private cloud, and so many things more.
He wrote his last syslog entry at 0:21 a.m., passed away and never woke up.
I found him cold and motionless this afternoon, but could not do anything. Any attempt of reanimation failed.
Goodbye, little BananaPi, fare thee well, and if for ever.
I promise you, your legacy on SD card will live on with a new board.1
Today, my dad can finally ditch his iPhone 4 which is passed down from my eldest sis to my mom and to my dad, all thanks to my brother-in-law getting a Samsung Galaxy J7 on Black Friday.
Finally. No more Apple bullshit in my house!! NO FUCKING MORE!!! *insert hysterical laughter* GOODBYE STUPID 20-PIN CHARGER CABLE~ GOODBYE ITUNES~ GOODBYE ICLOUD~ FUCK YOU!!!7
Today, for the first time in my life I quit my job
I feel very happy (refer to any of my older rants), yet i also feel very sad because in spite of all the quirks, it’s a great place to work with super nice people whom I feel like have become a big part of my life in such a small period of time
I very much doubt I’ll ever find a company like this again with such a relaxing atmosphere but I have to think about myself and my career ..
I’m especially incredibly sad about leaving one of my colleagues as he has become one of my best friends these past few months..
Let’s just hope I made the right decision ..8
The last person I used skype with loves the new Signal video calling feature! I can finally say goodbye to Skype now 😍 (if you'd ever read this, thank you!)15
Me: I need an SSL certificate.
Support: No problem. Just fire up your command line and generate one via OpenSSL.
Me: I'm on Windows.
Support: Ok, so what you do is code a Linux command line from scratch that will run in Powershell. Next, compile OpenSSL from your favorite of 60,000 versions available. Now, just fire it up and you're all set.
Me: Goodbye everything I've ever enjoyed doing in my free time.16
Well, goodbye my free time, it was a pleasure to meet you sometimes. We'll probably never see each other from now on.
Our government just voted on a law that extends overtime legally like crazy.7
Best girl i've met.
I attended a CMS Conference last month(I don't use a CMS, i'm just interested with the topics about DevOps and UI/UX). I met this pretty lady ( I find her cute and awesome.) who's one of the speaker, she talked about design principles and applying it to BEM with SASS. After the talk, i asked her some questions about her dev't workflow like what tools she used and some best practices. Our conversation went well and exchange some of our knowledge and ideas also i introduced her to devrant (She's a wordpress user, i showed to her how the community hates WP, idk if she registered). After her talked we separated ways and ended seeing again after the conference as she's looking for a cab going to a mall (Same directions where i'm heading to), We talked again and decided to have dinner together. I felt like she's the best girl i met as she's into TV shows i like (Silicon Valley and Mr Robot). We added ourselves in FB and saying goodbye to each other. After a week or two, i just found out that she already into a relationship and it broke my heart.
I guess im back to the start, but i'm happy that i made a new friend.15
Woo, rant time.
I've recently changed jobs to a new company due to a number of factors at my old job. I didn't tell my old boss (let's call him X) my expected salary, nor did I tell him which company I was going to.
However, I've been informed by someone that still works there that X has been discussing my new wage in front of everyone; he was telling everyone that I'm going to lose money by moving job and that I made a stupid decision.
I didn't leave due to money, it was due to X's inability to take constructive criticism, the constant subtle sexism of the office and just a generally bad overall feeling about the job/office going forward. Yes, I will admit that money did have a minor part in my decision to leave but I didn't verbalise that to anyone in the office, and I made X aware that my departure wasn't to do with money. I left on good terms.
I feel as though it was wrong of X to talk about his opinions on my new job in front of my ex-colleagues and friends. I don't know, maybe this is the norm and I've just been living in a cave before this, or maybe my last boss was just a bit of a douchenugget. Has anyone else had this experience?
I've got to meet up with everyone from my last place tomorrow to properly say goodbye and things.. but I'm not sure how to approach my old boss when leaving drinks are held now. Should I say anything? Should I just act as though I know nothing about it?
What would you guys do in this situation???19
Two years ago I started a small online business. It was not a long term investment and it literally ended up being a one man business. The idea was to provide a service to a small group of people who will benefit from my idea and to offer it to them at a very cheap price. (It being the cheapest helped its popularity a lot).
However, never once did it actually make any profit. (and i never wanted it to make a profit) I wanted it to be self sustaining business and it was.
This was a project for my University by the way, I started off in my first year because of my extensive knowledge in the particular matter, and I only sold to people on campus.
Now that its been 4 years, my batch is graduating, and so there aren't many people to spread the word about this project. It's finally the time to actually say goodbye to this project.
I leased a dedicated server two years ago, and I am finally saying goodbye to that too (can't afford to keep it live anymore). And seriously, it feels sad to shut this machine down haha, I've had so much fun playing around with the configurations (even though it was a production server).
It's clear that this downsizing will continue and I will be closing the service in the near future.4
Java. AGAIN. 😡
so, I am trying to get a csv opened and read, and then search through it based on values. Easy peasy lemon squeezy in python, right?
Well, damned be java. You need a buffered reader to read the file. Then you have to "while(has next)" the whole damn thing, then you have to do something with the data that you read one by one, right? Well, not to be disappointed, they do have json libraries, but you **have to install** the plugins for it. Aka you have to manually add the libraries or use some backwards manager like maven.
Gotta admit, jdbc is neat if you're anal about your sql statements, but bring the same jazz to csv, and all the hell will break loose.
Now, if you just read your json data into multiple objects and throw them in an array... Kiss shorthand search's ass goodbye, because this mofo can't search through lists without licking the arse of every object. And now, you have to find another way because this way, you can't group shit you just read from csv. (or, I haven't found a way after 5 hours of dealing with the godforsaken shitshow that java libraries are.)
Like, I'm devastated. If this rant doesn't make much sense to you, blame some java library for it.
Shouldn't be too hard.26
I finally fucking made it!
Or well, I had a thorough kick in my behind and things kinda fell into place in the end :-D
I dropped out of my non-tech education way too late and almost a decade ago. While I was busy nagging myself about shit, a friend of mine got me an interview for a tech support position and I nailed it, I've been messing with computers since '95 so it comes easy.
For a while I just went with it, started feeling better about myself, moved up from part time to semi to full time, started getting responsibilities. During my time I have had responsibility for every piece of hardware or software we had to deal with. I brushed up documentation, streamlined processes, handled big projects and then passed it on to 'juniors' - people pass through support departments fast I guess.
Anyway, I picked up rexx, PowerShell and brushed up on bash and windows shell scripting so when it felt like there wasn't much left I wanted to optimize that I could easily do with scripting I asked my boss for a programming course and free hands to use it to optimize workflows.
So after talking to programmer friends, you guys and doing some research I settled on C# for it's broad application spectrum and ease of entry.
Some years have passed since. A colleague and I built an application to act as portal for optimizations and went on to automate AD management, varius ssh/ftp jobs and backend jobs with high manual failure rate, hell, towards the end I turned in a hobby project that earned myself in 10 times in saved hours across the organization. I felt pretty good about my skills and decided I'd start looking for something with some more challenge.
A year passed with not much action, in part because I got comfy and didn't send out many applications. Then budget cuts happened half a year ago and our Branch's IT got cut bad - myself included.
I got an outplacement thing with some consultant firm as part of the goodbye package and that was just hold - got control of my CV, hit LinkedIn and got absolutely swarmed by recruiters and companies looking for developers!
So here I am today, working on an AspX webapp with C# backend, living the hell of a codebase left behind by someone with no wish to document or follow any kind of coding standards and you know what? I absolutely fucking love it!
So if you're out there and in doubt, do some competence mapping, find a nice CV template, update your LinkedIn - lots of sources for that available and go search, the truth is out there!
Week to make a decision my ass. Two workdays.
Thanks again for the friday's meeting!
After a short consideration, of course we would like to start working with you :)
I hope you're still interested in working with us and that we will start working together soon!"
Wow. "[...] of course we would like to start working with you". Just wow. This "of course" part really got me.
So, I've only got a month left in my current company. Goodbye working alone! Goodbye being the only person in Java and C# "departments". Goodbye stagnation!
So we have Oncall system. Every month I get one working weekend.
Now senior engineers and lead are assholes. They think they can bully us. They are putting their Oncall work on our heads.
I refused to do it. But my partner in Oncall agreed to take up their weekend Oncall and in return they would do our weekday. I don't see how that is fair enough.
I refused to do it still. My partner apparently ended up doing it alone this weekend.
I don't FUCKING need to lick anyone's ass here! I don't FUCKING need to do these things to be in their good books! Waiting for the time when I saw GOODBYE TO THESE FUCKING ASSHOLEZZZZ5
"No, I have not used c++.
No, I have not used mfc.
No, I have not used Pervasive database.
BUT! I got the job!3
Finally I'm having my vacation. Goodbye mother fucking legacy system. Hello pet projects and gaming. God, have mercy on the lost souls at work ;)2
Me: make me a sandwich
Me: sudo make me a sandwich
And then I wake up and realize this "her" does not exist. I feel like I have a problem if I'm dreaming about these kind of things....3
So I have too many posts for wk110. It's sad. Here we go. I got a bad grade on an assignment for a hello world program in college. How do you write a hello world program that successfully prints hello world and not get 100 percent?
The teacher insisted that we write a console "hello world" program in C++, on windows. If he can't read hello world, you fail. So you must add `system("pause")` at the end so the window stays open. One problem: system() is horribly insecure and im stubborn. I refused to write exactly what he wanted, like everyone else did, because I try to not write code I know is unsafe. So I ended my script with cin.get() which also pauses for input. Unlike pause however it can't be any key, it reads a line, so you must hit enter. This was "unfavorable behavior" and ultimately I got something like a high C, low B grade. Only person to not get 100%8
That's it, it's over, I'm done! I'm officially a graduate! I have my paper and I'm out!
Goodbye preditory USA college related companies and practices I won't miss you!
I swear If I ever have to hear the name Pearson again.....11
I lurk here on occasion. Quite frequently in fact. It's honesty been years and I've grown up with the community. I'm glad to still see old faces here but many of the ones that I used to see are long gone. Man - it's so different.
It's not the same anymore. There's no longer any gangs or clans or anything. It was really fun.
Another thing I specifically miss when @dfox was actually around. Actually replying to people most of the time. Lately, there just hasn't been any trace of him that I've seen. He comments on averages 2-3 times a month lately, and he used to comment a lot more on average years ago. But I don't blame him. I'm the same.
Everything about this feels wrong and off. I used to love this but now i just don't.
I'm going to formally say goodbye to everyone here. And to the OG peeps, I love ya all, you know who you are.
> Scammer calls me.
> I answer and robot puts me in queue.
> PlEaSe WaIt, yOuR CaLl Is vERy iMpOrtAnt To uS!
> 6 minutes later it literally says “Goodbye!” And Hangs up.
Background: Since last 3-4 months, was working with a senior engineer remotely on a project.
Present: Currently, I am Out of Office and yesterday late night, I opened my official mail and after sometime I got an email with subject: GOODBYE!
It was from him. The same senior engineer with whom I was working. I thought it was a joke. But people don't joke when they send such emails to a huge group of people.
I never knew he was going to leave so soon. I wanted to learn so many things working with him. I used to ask him the silliest doubts ever.
I still wonder why he left the company. I have so many questions to ask him.
I am sad. I am feeling left alone.
It's awkward that today, this very moment, I can't ping him anymore forever.
It's obvious to be more professional and such things are normal.
But, I am fresher and my first project was with him. So, it's kind of tough for me too.
I know this will help me to grow up stronger and teach me that time isn't constant and we need to always be ready and use the right time preciously and deal with the "constant change".
And also, wherever he goes, my best wishes to him and I hope I will meet him some day.
“Hey - just calling you to give you an update”
Great - sorry can you refresh my memory what was this for?
“So I was about to put you through for a client but they’re no longer accepting CVs so just to update you that’s not happening”
Sorry, what was the client again?
“Oh I can’t say, but they’re no longer accepting CVs”
*So you call me to tell me that you can’t give my details to a client that you can’t disclosure....get off my line 🤬😡🤬*3
Joined a flying school. Hopefully in a few years I can say goodbye to computers, bad pay, worse hours, and little respect12
The worst part of being a dev is when you realize you have a major design flaw in your architecture at 4:50 PM on a Friday. Goodbye weekend, hello intense thought.2
I got a ticket near the end of the day, asking to install a printer on a computer. The branch in question was in a different time zone (I'm in US-Pacific [GMT-07] and the computer was in US-Eastern [GMT-04]). I figured I wouldn't worry about it; after all, I had other tickets to work on that were much higher priority.
The next day I come into work and immediately get a message from one of my East Coast coworkers, telling me that this branch is calling and asking how the printer is coming. I told him to tell them I would call them a bit later. I do a couple of easy jobs and then begrudgingly call the branch. I listen to the phone tree that they have (which requires two button presses instead of one in order to speak with someone) and finally get in contact with a person... only to have the call disconnect.
I call back and ask for the person who called in the ticket and then followed up, who had apparently gone to lunch. I informed the person that I was just going to install the printer and it would be good to go. This would be fine... up until she mentioned she needed scanning functionality.
Now I wasn't sure if the driver we have in AD is set up with the scan functionality, so I said okay, but that meant I would have to get the driver from the website. The connection to our branches are about 1Mbps, so even downloading Java updates (60-ish MB) take about 5-10 minutes on a good day. The file for this printer was about 700MB (thanks HP). So I went and did other stuff while that downloaded.
I come back after it finished and started the install process. Right away it asks to re-seat the USB cable. So I call the branch. The call disconnects. I call again. It disconnects. I call one more time, and finally get the person who called the ticket in. I instruct him to re-seat the cable. He does. The driver starts doing its thing. I tell him I'll call back if I run into any issues and we hang up.
The driver goes through the install process for about 20 minutes, stops at 99%, then fails. I want to restart the computer, just in case there's a conflict somewhere, but that would require calling the store again, so I put it off.
About an hour later I get a message from another East Coast coworker, telling me the branch is calling about the printer again. I was in the middle of another call and said I would call back later. I do. It disconnects. I call again, and get the person who called the ticket in again. I tell him I want to restart the computer, but wasn't sure if it was okay. He checks with the people using it, who says it's okay, so I reboot. I hang up.
Once the computer comes back up I start the install process again. It asks to re-seat the cable. Fuck. I don't want to call the store again, so I open notepad and say "Please take out the printer's USB connection from the back of the computer."
Three. Fucking. People. Saw it. They moved the window and one even tried to close it, but they didn't re-seat the cable. I opened another window, telling them to call me at my number. They didn't. I called them. Got disconnected. I called them again, finally got someone, told them to re-seat the printer cable again. They do, thank god.
I say thank you and hang up. Continue the installer. It stops at 99% again and fails. I reboot the computer; screw it, I'm just going to install the driver from Active Directory. Check Devices and Printers. It's installed successfully. Hallelujah!
I get the printer set up for the various programs they use and print a test page. I call them one last time; their phone system sounding like they were connected via an underwater line connected by tin cans. I get someone.
$me: Hi, I want to know if the printer has printed something.
$them (garbled): -et me shee... yesh, it -rint-d a *beezelborp*.
$me: Perfect, I'm going to close this ticket! Thanks, goodbye! *hangs up*
tl;dr - I hate printers
Ohhh! That feeling when you quit your stupid job . Now i can say whatever the fuck i want to my boss and his loyal bitches. Without giving a flying fuck.
Sorry, i get so excited.5
Ransomware: Haha, pay me now or say goodbye
Me: Hey, What are you doing on my Pentium?
RW: Whaaat? Fuck man you are a disgrace. Here take some $2000 and now I be off.
Do you know when you got into like a real low level programming ?
Not when you learn assembler because that takes ages to learn to the skill level where you can actually use it properly.
For me it is writing device tree files in Linux kernel. One typo and the mobile phone is literally dead.
Oh I accidentally typed one more 0 to the voltage in regulator. Yeah goodbye phone.
You have to be careful as fuck and read the shit six times before you flash it on the phone.
And oh God mainlining a phone. It surely is fun seeing the phone boot the same exact kernel version my PC uses. But dang it is hard.14
Just got my tiny thermonuclear fusion reactor delivered! Can’t wait for them to wire this inside my rib cage!
Don’t be fooled by that spark – it’s really tiny.
Welcome infinity energy, goodbye constant tiredness and headaches!11
Want to switch to Linux so bad right now. Getting tired of Windows and its shit. It took 12 minutes just to shut down!!! I'm just holding back until I finish this project I'm working on for Uni so I don't mess things up. After that it's goodbye Windows!
What distro should I try first? ;)22
You were ok back in the day. But after the fifth recruiter in as many days sending a message about "fantastic opportunities for the senior codings with the great salary in a relocation budget friendly area", and the only other messages asking me to celebrate someone's "work anniversary", it may be time to say goodbye.3
As a software house, we have many teams on different projects. One project was due to a Thursday, and the PM asked the team 1 week before if they could work over the weekend since there's a lot of things to do.
On the Friday before, one of the devs showed up a bit later than usual (around 10am), but ok...
After lunch he asked to talk to HR and also the boss. They talked for around 2h, then he started to say "goodbye and good luck" for everyone.
The project was on fire and he just... leave.
On the next 2 months another 4 people leave the company. All from the same team/project (but not with a big surprise like him).
Apparently, the team was constantly complaining to PM and boss about unrealistic deadlines and constant requirements changes, but they didn't did anything about it. Just when more than half this team had left the company they started to rethink this actions to this project and the others on the company.2
Does anyone have an idea about a nice goodbye message to write on cakes for my last day on my summer job?
- Should be short enough so I can write it with a choco pen on 20 cakes of about 10cm each.
- Should be about me leaving (I worked on a terminal application in qt c++)
- Should have something to do with programming17
As a token of my commitment to devRant I bought a new phone so I can use the app. True -fucking- story... Goodbye old buddy #lumia930 (pi) (b)4
I met you in High School. You were called Basic back then. You graduated and moved on to college and you became Visual Basic. Eventually when you became a professional after graduating you changed your name to Visual Studio cause you wanted to be cool. I still understood you then and now.
You were simple, straightforward, and I understood you more than some. But it wasn't enough for you, you wanted more. You started hanging around with others like Python, Ruby, Node.JS and M. That's when I started losing you.
Perhaps I grew old and tired, maybe that's why we drifted apart. I still don't know but I hope you never change again because then I will need to change. And sometimes change can be bad especially when we don't know who will last. We've been together for over 25 years. What's going to happen to us?
I hope to still be seeing you in some form in the future. Until then, Goodbye!4
Last day of work. Literally only few more hours before I give up this lifestyle. Feeling little emotional as i look at the screen of my work laptop. It's a Windows 10 Lenovo ideapad .
Gonna miss those days when it made me mad bugging with updates. But it has been good to me, did more than i expected from it. I kept it turned on since half year or so and contrary to popular belief about it's race, it never disappointed me. We had our little secrets going on. Time to wipe them off and say goodbye. 😿3
Well, I helped a client get their website back from being redirected to a microsoft scam website. Even though the restoring process was a nightmare, it feels good to get things working like it was suppose to :)3
I think my manager is angry on me or something.
I told him that I can do mobile app development as well as make API. He said nah, let's just out source it to this India based company and I can do the support once it's on production.
You know how to write a function inside a macro, right? Okay good no time to explain. Make sense of this:
#define FUCK(T, t) T fuck##t (T* x)
If you were as stupid as I am, you'd utilize that route in C to make several identical functions working with different types but writting the actual code only once, rather than diving nose-deep into the unpurified cocaine of C++ templates. Well, here's what I thought...
If I'm already writting expressions full of wildcards that expand into the actual code right before compilation, what if... well, what if I wrote an expression full of wildcards, passed that to some magic beep-boop machine and I got my code as output?
Right! Let's write some rules for the syntax and define a set of instructions, then I'll pass that plain text through a custom lexer & parser to translate statements into C code which I can later compile and FUCK ME I JUST WROTE A PSEUDOLANGUAGE.
YOU FUCKING IDIOT. WHY?!
I think that a plain, null-terminated FUCK MY LIFE just doesn't cut it for expressing my conflicting feelings on the current situation.
I will NEVER be NOT WORKING on this SHIT. GOODBYE FREE TIME. I AM NOW RETARDED SLAVEKING KEYBOARD MONKEY, RULER OF THE SEVEN BUTTHOLES AND PROSTATE INSPECTOR OF THE REALM.9
My laptop has decided to die. Say goodbye to my dual boot antergos and windows. . Good thing I had money set aside for this very fateful day.
Goodnight sweet prince12
Goodbye, a night of work!
I just typed "rm * .sh.*" instead of "rm *.sh.*" for deleting the logs from a bunch of qsubs. Yes, I removed the logs... as well as the rest of the files in the folder.
Now, probably because of the lack of sleep, I'm laughing to keep myself from crying.
No more code for today!7
I just noticed the "block user" feature.
I am now much more happy with this app (goodbye meme spammers)7
Okay, mine is actually mildly interesting.
I was, at the time, obsessed with operating systems. The only thing I knew how to do (and I only knew how to do it poorly!) was make websites. And thus, Frames(TM) was born.
It was really labored for what it was. The whole thing worked off iframes to create different "Windows" which you could drag around the screen in a typical window-based environment. It had a start menu (Without search - I wasn't that good yet), task bar, background image, the whole 9 yards.
Some highlights from that project:
- Not hosted anywhere. Everything was file:/// protocol
- Originally, everything was statically created, and I learned about document.createElement during this project
- To communicate between the "Operating system" and the different frames, I used localStorage, which was continuously exec'ing anything it could find. Smart smart boi.
- Of course, the only thing available was web storage. The "Hard drive" was about 5MB, and if you cleared browsing data, goodbye everything!
Hours and hours happily dumped into that project, but I am definitely happy it is gone forever.
Last day at home today. Moving tommorrow for my apprenticeship with a company that'd likely give me a warning/fire me if I say too much about it.
If I disappear off the face of the planet, it's because I have no money for internet yet.12
Goodbye Java I will not miss you at all! I swear ...
I do like it when making web services (especially that I can use Java8) but for Android you have been a torture. Hello sweet Kotlin! I shall embrace you and treat you like my newly born baby!!
Working on a new project where I need to talk to a web service (also made by me).
Started writing in Java, all is cool and unit tests pass.
Downloaded Android Studio 3 Beta 1 and converted my Java code to Kotlin, That AsyncTask did not look nice in kotlin, converted it to async & await feature and I must admit lots of code removed, no more need to create a new fucking AsyncTask every time the app sneezes for data!
I feel like I'm working with C# but with difference in syntax.
My life is now complete :)8
So @Linux gave me a website to check which happens to have a tutorial on how to close ssh session after x inactive minutes, and now every time I'm back to the terminal I find my self out T_T
but it is a good life savior if I forgot my session on work computer lol11
I'm amazed how some people either think I'm fucking jesus or a god or both.
App XY not working.
Yeah. We're talking about how App XY and it's exhaustion of the connection pool since a year....
It's not working, what can we do?
Well. I don't know. Tried restarting?
Well... Nothing I can do, you're responsible for developing the app and we've talked many times how complex the problem is.
It's not working, can u do something?
<Me just fed up increasing the connection count>
Well. I've increased the connections.
This will not work. It's a band aid. The app needs really a complete migration.
Ok. But it works.
No it doesn't work.. For fucks sake... It still exhausts the connections for unknown reasons, this is a band aid.
But it works....
This conversations was over then....
Well. Have fun.
I reverted the change I did.
May this crappy piece of shit die a thousand deaths, I:m now working on something else.
Goodbye mother fucking bitches, habe fun with the nightmare you created.
I'll cry over the other fucking nightmares I at least can solve, cause what you created in this App is beyond irresponsible and dumb.5
Took the weekend to finish my phase out of Windows on my desktop and laptop.
Finally going Linux full time!
Goodbye constant forced reboots, awful updates, and lost files!5
You know what is a nice phrase to write in your documentation right before you leave the job?
"I leave this to the evaluation and practice of the reader."
Such a delight to write that down.2
You really start to question your choices in life when you can't get hired or get paid freelance work, so you apply to help (for free) on Catchafire... and get rejected.2
Five interviews and challenges later and I’m told they won’t be going further with me.
Over month of my life. Finally thought this was the one. But oh well. Depression.
I officially quit being a dev.
It’s been rad y’all.13
I love Unix systems because everything goes smoothly most of the time but today... Fuck me... I just wanted to see how many lines my script was with "wc - l" but I couldn't remember "m" or "w". 180 degrees separated despair and monotony, although I didn't know it yet. I did "mc - l" first and midnight logged empty ftp buffer to my file. Goodbye Thursday and Fridays work :) I should commit more often.4
Applicant: I have 7 years of experience in software development industry and here is my repo/portfolio for you to look at.
Manager: I don't need it. Take the 5 hours coding exam.
*Applicant scores low
Manager: You didn't score high. Thank for applying at Stack****. Goodbye
Applicant: Wait, sorry but do you judge all applicants only through an exam?
Manager: Yes. Exam tells how expert the applicant is.10
Yet another reason, why I love the Internet and it's ability to remove remove borders that should not exist in the first place.
Around seven hours ago, I met a stranger while playing rocket league. Just now I said goodbye to a friend, with whom I talked about our lives, our opinions on certain matters and our cultures.
Just within seven hour I made a friend with whom I could talk honestly about things I could probably not even talk about with my parents.2
When I moved away from my family for my studies, I found myself alone for the first time in AGES. It caused bad things to my brain but since, I really enjoy loneliness, peace, and not having anyone to disturb you.
When I check Facebook (from where I'll remove my account soon), all I see is people craving for likes, feng shui bullshit and useless stuff from people I don't speak to since I left my family.
There are these times where I wish I could get off the grid without having to say goodbye, move to Canada, and reset everything, delete all my accounts from everywhere, build a shelter and stay there.
Man, I miss loneliness5
So the LAN I'm at has a factorio comp and server up.... Goodbye life.
Crank up the Sabaton and let's build some fucking trains!10
Why the fuck is 32 bit still a thing on modern windows? I'm trying to make a program that injects some CBT/Shell event handler code into all running applications and I have to do everything twice because the majority of my programs run in 32 bit mode and I can't inject my 64 bit dll... I hope that one day we will say goodbye to 32 bit for good. Fuck!5
So today I decided to try out Kotlin on Android. Hacked up a little Textview-Button app. AMAZED with the little code.14
today is a great day i said goodbye to xorg(ohhh i still love you i have spend so many hours with you) and finally said goodbye to chrome on my tablet cause imade firefox to work with touch screed and and im suprised how well wayland is holding so far.13
Today's my company's official final day with Slack.
Starting tomorrow it's nothing but the "superior" Google Chat. I will have no choice but to join the others who have already migrated over.
It also mean I won't have any access to messaging outside the office because I don't want to accept the security certs on my phone.2
I've been working on you for months, and thinking about you for near a year.
I built you with a shitty language first and some crappy ideas. I obviously got bad results, but I didn't lose courage and I continued you.
Got near the obsession to improve you. Every time. Switched to a fast but hard language. Got into my first low-level fuss. All for you.
Now I reached the end with no more improvements and tweaks I could imagine, I can tell that:
I had a lot of expectations from you.
But turns out you were nothing more than a nasty brain fart pretending to be a good idea.
The core of the concept was rotten. Blinded by my lust for success (perhaps cupidity ?) I didn't see you just couldn't work.
I'm utterly disgusted, of course. Who wouldn't, after working so hard on something that looks right but is completely useless ?
But even though this was all in vain, you taught me some great lessons down the road.
Efficiency matters over facility.
Get sure you're using the right tools, and stay open for changes of such.
But some others were harsher, though just as important.
There's times you just have to admit defeat.
Putting a lot of efforts into something doesn't always bring a reward.
If after a long time you can't get the thing right, then stop. Your time is precious. Don't waste your time or time will waste you (Thanks Muse, I love this sentence).
And the most important: next time I got some "grand" idea that is not about improving some random software, I'll bang my head to my desk enough times to forget about it.
So now the time has come.
Goodbye, project "hpym". You put me in grief, but I know I matured a lot in my concepts of development because of you.
Now take place into the project graveyard among the other clunky half-assed shit I got rid off.6
Fuck NodeJS. I don't want you to be asynchronous sometimes. My gahwd I need like 3 deep nested loops just to get you to make a request and compile a damn JSON of requests.
I'm learning Golang goodbye forever node.15
I did it y'all, I just put in two weeks. Goodbye tech debt, goodbye anti-patterns, goodbye constant firefighting.5
2 years ago I told myself I'd never learn PHP. 2 years later I'm a desperate college student in a town where the only web dev companies rely on PHP. I didn't want to cave and learn such an obsolete language but it's looking like I have no choice. Goodbye, innocence :'(13
So it's a sad day that I say goodbye to my moto 360 gen 2, purchased a ticwatch C2 and here's hoping the OLED screen and NFC capabilities are worth giving up my favourite watch...13
The used option isnt preselected.
I declare this the worst flaw of the app.
I have to install windows for this project because I usually work in spare half hours and the virtual machine takes 15 minutes to boot.
I tried to Google what to do if my only windows machine has space on the secondary disk only, because the install media creator requires 8 gigabytes. The only answers were mocking the op for buying a 50 GB SSD. I didn't even start working and I already hate the windows community.4
I was having a discussion with my Spv because I am stuck at my project, when suddenly he said :
"Hey, you seem to enjoy this subject!"
And I was just standing there speechless..
I spent so much time than required in the contract because I'm getting paid and more importantly because I can put this experience in my portfolio.
Not because I enjoy this job.
I'd rather work on my personal project, preparing for job interview or playing with my cats if I have another choice.
He is a nice guy and has helped me a lot, but in the end it's all about the money.
Or maybe because I have a hard time trusting people these days.
I can't wait to start job hunting next month so that I can say goodbye to this job.1
At the conclusion of a successful dev interview:
"Don't be the first to lean in for the kiss goodbye. Make them come to you."2
Our agile scrum team has finally shattered into two parts.
On the one hand we have front-end guys.
On the other hand we have backend- /dev-ops guys.
The FE guys don't care about the BE guys business.
They don't join pairworking and only noticing things that went bad, when a Backend guy has caused it.
Goodbye fullstack dev-ops team...
I really dislike that arrogant basterds.
Been waiting for my new computer to come in the mail for a week only to find out that Amazon sent it to my old house all the way in utah (i live in georgia now). My life is over goodbye🙂2
Goodbye world, I will not miss you, I will not regret leaving you BUT THIS! I MEAN THIS !!! I cannot stand -_-
For fuck sake! Why don't you put comma at the end of the line!! please someone delete his answer no commas at the beginning. Please, show mercy for a second T_T10
"Our supplier asks that you double the number of php child processes for this fpm pool"
"Are you aware, that that would lead to about 100% of memory overcommit, taken the current limit of 128MB/child, and that if a lot of them started at once, the system would probably go for OOM-Kill, which would most probably kill your database, that still runs on 100% MyISAM tables that do not support transactions, and you'd have to kiss your data integrity goodbye, right?"
"Uh... Nevermind then"
I get that some people are not IT-versed, but really... Hire someone who knows what they are doing and doesn't live 20 years in the past, god damn it!
So finally i said goodbye to ubuntu forever but I stayed on debian have installed and setup crunchbang its performance is much better and this os is so lighter.
my wifi issue is fixed here didn't do anything at all. I'm loving this os
thanks all those guys who tried to help me fix wifi issue3
Whenever I cancel out old chunks of code that do not serve their function anymore, or that I commented out in early phases to make space for better functions, I feel dead inside. It's almost like if I was saying goodbye to a very old friend, who supported me through the project and reminded me of how I started it.
Than I notice how stupid and/or inelegant that chunk was, and feel better. 😂
I'm sad that StackOverflow is removing OpenID support. I've run my own OpenID server for years, and I've slowly watched support get removed from all the sites I previously used it to login to.
Goodbye open, distributed, authentication standards.3
Switched from php/laravel dev to frontend JS dev.
Decided to free up diskspace by uninstalling unneeded applications like MAMP, phpstorm and composer.
Feeling a little sad :/
Goodbye old friends since I spent 100 hours mastering you.11
Welcome to post 2 of WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU?, a saga of competence, empathy and me being dick, even tho I didn't want to be one.
This is a follow-up to: https://devrant.com/rants/2363374 It's title is: "Oh, you can post only every 2h. Didn't know that". I also didn't know that the rest of my rant would be put into a comment. For consistency tho, this time I am still splitting the story.
A wise person once wrote in their book: "People judge other people by two things: Empathy and competence." This may not be an accurate quote, but it carries the same message. Also, I don't really remember who was the author. I only know they were probably quite wise. Anyway, I just wanted to share that sentence. Have a moment and think about it. Or don't. Here's my story:
A was a software house that looked pretty promising. They were elegant, their page and offer looked nice. Well, unless you consider the fact that they offered me internship. Unpaid. But I decided to meet with them anyway, since I had hope that I could negotiate some sort of paid internship or a job contract even. I did my homework after all, and I was confident I am able to keep up with their requirements. I arrived a little bit... no, way to early. One damn hour. Whatever, I waited. I was greeted by a woman. We had a cultural conversation, she had a list of 12 questions I needed to answer, as a form of a test. We begun. First question: How do you change a value in Oracle Database? "Wait a minute", I thought, "What kind of question is that?". Why in seven hells would you want your frontend developer to know how to handle oracle db? Well, I gave my answer, I did lick some of that SQL in my life. Next question: Java stuff. The bloody gal didn't even care to check what position I am applying to before the interview! At this point I didn't really have very high hopes. A shame on them forever.
The story of B and C is connected and a little bit more complicated. More on that in part 2. B stands for Bank. A big corporation then, by definition. A person I know decided called me that day and told me they're hiring, that he referred me and that they would like to arrange a meeting. And so we did. It was couple of days before Christmas. C was a software house again. Or a startup. Idk really. Their website wasn't finished so I couldn't read anything useful up on them. They didn't tell me much about themselves either. They also started with "unpaid internship".
In C, they would greet me and instantly sit me down next to a mac laptop and told me, "hey, do this stuff in python". What the fuck, not again... I told them that I am frontend dev, they guy said "it's no problem, you said you know python, it's a simple task". And yeah, I did host some apps in Flask and I did use psycopg2. It was in my CV. But never, ever, have I mentioned knowing heuristics nor statistics. I'm no data scientist, monsieur. Whatever, I tried, I failed a little bit, I told them that maybe if I did want to spend half of my day there I would finish this task, but back then I was way too nervous to focus and code. I told them what should be done in code and that I just was unable to code this at the very moment. They nodded, we said goodbye and I was sure not to hear from them ever again.
In B, I was greeted by a senior frontend dev. He told me the recruiter is sick and he couldn't come, so we're talking alone. I can buy it. We sat down in said meeting room, and he asked me if I wanted a drink. No thx, I had digested so much caffeine during last 24h, next dose could be an overdose. And then, he took out my resume printed in paper. With notes on it. With some stuff encircled. That bloody bastard did his homework. We spent over an hour, just talking in friendly atmosphere. It was an interview, but it was a conversation also. We shared our experiences, opinions and it went just perfect.
On December 20, I was heading home for Christmas. My situation looked like this: A called me they could offer me only unpaid internship. I was getting kinda bored of rice and debts, tbh. I gracefully rejected their generous offer. B didn't give me feedback yet(it was a most recent interview, so I didn't expect any message until after Christmas anyway). C told me that they could give me internship, but I managed to convince them to make it paid internship. After three months of very bad times, things were starting to get better.
On part III we will explore further events of my very recent past. That post will be same amount of storytelling and possibly a lesson for those who seek an employer and for those who seek an employee.6
Don't feel like a genius high school student anymore :(
23 in math isn't going to get me into the best programming course.
:( Goodbye CMU aspirations8
Today I'm deleting my GitHub account and all my projects and I'm going to live with Vegan Gains man. Wish me luck!4
So this happened some years ago:
The phone rings and as soon as I pick it up some fast talking sales rep begins his spiel.
"Good afternoon my name is [don't remember, calling him 'jigglybum'] and we have a device that you plug into your phone line and it will allow you to make free international calls over the internet. It's real easy to set up and you can have it on us for the first three months absolutely free, if you could just confirm your address..."
"Don't want it."
"I'm sorry sir but I think you're throwing away a massive opportunity here we're offering you free international calls."
"No you're not. You're offering me a free trial of some sort of VoIP hardware."
"We yes, but it's free for the first three months and..."
"We also don't make international calls."
"That maybe true sir but with this box you could."
"I'm really not interested in your product."
"I don't think you fully understand all the benefits..."
*there's a clicking noise followed by a dial tone for a second and a new voice*
"Hi, I'm the supervisor for 'jigglybum' and I think perhaps he is having difficulty explaining what it is that we are trying to give you here..."
"Well, no sir, that's a very accurate description, so if you could just confirm your address for me..."
"NO! As you have just admitted there was no misunderstanding about what your product is or what it does. There seems to be a real misunderstanding on your part on the concept of 'no'. We don't want this product, we don't need the product and if we want to make VOIP calls, we have Skype!"
"Ok sir, goodbye."
This is, to my knowledge the only and only time that a supervisor in a call centre has wanted to talk to ME.2
“The problem with object-oriented languages is they’ve got all this implicit environment that they carry around with them. You wanted a banana but what you got was a gorilla holding the banana and the entire jungle.”
—Chris Scalfani, from https://medium.com/@cscalfani/...4
Finally back at the HQ and away from Offsite Hell after 18 months!!!!!!!!!!!! Real internet! Coffee on tap! Community of practice meetings! COOODDDEEEE!!!! Also back to devrant. Goodbye Indian devs from hell, j/k they still suck life out of my day with their deprecated ways.
Switched to Unreal Engine from Unity recently and my god it is amazing! I definitely prefer being able to use C# with unity vs c++ with unreal but the blueprint system is a great visual programming system.
Unit testing is my new side chick. She wants me to leave my wife; I'm considering it.
Unrelated: Read Dead Redemption 2 is amazing.1
This is more of a story than a rant, but it has some rant-ey elements, so whetever...
I work for a pretty big company. Several departments, teams, many different markets...so it's a big orchestration. The programming department (aprox. 5% of all employees) is the core of the whole company, because everybody else uses software we've written...(a bit off topic, the point is there are a lot of people)
So today, I got assigned with a side-project. The project spec arrives, and as I read through it, I start realizing that upper-management whats me to build an app to fire people instead for them. The app is supposed to track salary, connect with Trello (for departments that use it) to track finished tasks, track sick days, work attendence...a lot of stuff, and at the end, if the situation requires, spit out a person that is of least benefit to the company, to be fired...
Now from coding perspective, this will be very interesting and fun to build, but from a moral standpoint, I'm a bit woried...simply because, indirectly, I'm firing those people. Because, the way I tune the the app(specifically the algorithm that weighs the value of an employee to the company) will cause certain people to get fired...
So I'm woried I'm gonna have a small breakdown when the app goes live and I see someone saying goodbye to theie colegues of something similar...heck, the app might even spit out my name some day(I should probably add a tiny if statement somewhere in there :) )
What do you guys think about this, from a moral standpoint? Would you be okay with building something like this?
(Sorry for the long post :/ )8
So.. I have an itil exam tomorrow and every time I start reading I get angry because all I can think of is that there was someone who thought it would be cool to create an abnormal amount of management services and also created his own cool hipster abbreviations to make things even more complicated.
That was all I have to say. Goodbye and have a lovely day!3
Someone on WhatsApp asked me did I like the new update or not ?
Well here is what I replied,
WHAT THE FUCK ?! NOOooo ! already there is Snapchat whose USP is this feature, Snapchat is Snapchat, then they introduced this feature on Instagram that's ok...but WhatsApp should be WhatsApp.
ALL I WANTED IS A SIMPLE PLAIN MESSAGING APP, THAT'S IT !
Now it's wasting my time more, earlier I just used to see Instagram & Snapchat stories in my free time BUT now !? I will see these fucking stories again here on WhatsApp too... BECAUSE I can't help it, it's in our human mind psychology too, we are curious beings, we are somehow bound to open that Status Tab when we will see a green dot ! If it's not true SEE THE NEWS ! NASA just found a whole new Solar System just ~40 light years away ! YES we are curious, we explore, we invent things.
I hope they will roll it back, but NO the ugly truth my friend is people will rant about and forget, and we will end up using it too, hate this seriously ! for instance the new iPhones have no 3.5mm audio jack, WTF ?! well say goodbye to my favourite ear buds ! and buy these FUCKING NEW Monstrously over priced bound-to-buy pair of earbuds if you need high quality audio out.
AND are we bound to be slaves and continue using these features because everyone else is doing so ? NO ! I will use whatever I like the most, I will go back to the roots, may be use those old school IMs and may be ask others to join it.6
Last day at work: goodbye overnight sessions breeding over some arcane legacy code that blew up in prod or manually restoring dozens of backups because the customer continued to work while systems went down due to power failure.
Colleagues last commit message at that place: It just works (Friday 8pm then shipping the code to prod)2
Today is my first day as back-end developer in a big e-commerce company (MercadoLibre). I'm really excited.1
In SublimeText, I noticed that my markdowns formatting was not showing up correctly— I decided to download the new markdown package altogether hoping for some kind of update/fix. Turns out the package comes with a super ugly color theme which overrides the default theme of SublimeText. After some googling and experimenting, I found way to override this through the package settings. I always use git through my terminal but I thought let’s try to use git through my code editor and see how it works. I downloaded the git package but then I notice that git tool shows status and all correctly but doesn’t push files to GitHub (it says fatal: unable to read current working directory). Then I download another application called SublimeMerge. It works correctly on its own (pushes files to GitHub) but SublimeText is still not doing the same. Then I tinker around with my SSH keys hoping for a fix, but nothing works. I even go to stackoverflow and search for a solution but I find nothing (I even wrote a post asking for a solution but no replies till now). Fuck it! I now open the file with VSCode. Open terminal within VSCode and add/push/commit through it and everything works perfectly. So goodbye SublimeText I guess 👋🏾11
im about to fail and repeat the whole year of college and if that happens i am no longer going to try. i gave my best and sacrificed my time every day for 2 years to the cumsuckers who don't appreciate someone elses effort. goodbye.8
Goodbye HipChat, hello Slack.
After doing ANOTHER update to fix the connectivity issue with the Windows client after waking from sleep, it still doesn't work.1
!!rant life toptags bottags
My tags seem to be okay. Let's go.
I'm 14. I live in a place where nobody smart lives, and the school I go to has no coders.
Last year, all my friends moved. The only friend I had left now hates me, simply because they yelled at me everyday and I yelled at them once.
I am in the middle of my exams. I also have the flu, but thankfully it's not the e-flu, otherwise you guys should prepare for 24/7 headaches.
Due to the medications I am taking, I'm half-asleep all the time, and I probably am messing up all of my grades.
My entire extended family is in India, and I go there 2 times a year. I miss them so much right now :(.
At the same as doing exams, I am trying to keep my laptop (primary) and PC (secondary, desk) configuration and setup approximately synchronized. In order to do that, I am setting up my dotfiles repository.
Except that all my laptop config (which works) is written horribly, and I need to rewrite it all.
At the same time, I have 3 other projects going on: An OS written in D, a source-based package management system written in D, a small website (not online), and a whatever's cooking in my mind at this moment.
Right now, I'm supposed to be studying for my French exam.
Instead, I'm here, typing this out on my phone.
I have a classmate in school who can type QWERTY at 80WPM. I'm learning Dvorak (Programmer's!) and my current speed is 33WPM, after about 2 months of half-hearted practise during work time and at school.
Sometimes, I look at the world we have here, and what we're doing to it, and I wish that sometimes we could simply be content with life. Let's just live, for once.
I find ~60 random songs in one go, simply by finding a song I know on YouTube and going to the 'Mix - <song>' playlist. I download them all (youtube-dl), and I listen to them. Sometimes, I find this little part in a song (Mackelmore & Ryan Lewis - Can't Hold Us beginning instrumentals, or Safe and Sound chorus instrumentals) that make me feel so happy I feel like all's good in the world. Then the song moves on and with it, my happiness.
I look at Wayland, and X, and I think - Why can't we have one way of doing things - a fixed interface to express anything, so that one common API exists for everything of that type? And I realise it's because they feel that they're missing something from the others. Perhaps it's a bug nobody's solved or functionality that's missing, and they think that they can do better than that. And I think - Well, that's stupid. Submit a fucking bug report or pull request instead of reinventing the wheel. And then I realise that all the programming I've ever done in my life IS simply reinventing the wheel. And some might say, "Well, that guy designed it with spokes and wood. I designed it with rubber and steel," but that doesn't work, because no matter what how you make it, it's just a wheel. They both do the same thing. Both have advantages and disadvantages, because nothing's perfect. We're not perfect because we all have agendas and wants and likes and dislikes and hates and disgusts and all kinds of other crap, and our DNA's not perfect because it manages to corrupt copy operations (which is basically why we die of old age, I think).
And now I've lost my train of thought and this is too large to scroll over so I'm just going to move on to the next topic. At this point (.), I have 1633 letters left.
I hate the fact that the world's become so used to QWERTY because of stuff that happened 100 years ago that Dvorak is enough of a security to stop most people from being able to physically use my laptop.
I don't understand why huge companies like Google want to know about me. What would you do with this information? Know how to take over my stuff when the corporation-opocalypse comes around? Why can't they leave me alone? Why do I have to flash a ROM onto my phone so that Google cannot track me? What do you want, Google?
I don't give a shit any more, so there's my megarant.
Before anybody else (aside from myself) tells me that this is too big, all these topics are related simply because my train of thought went this way. There's a connection between each of these things, but I just don't know what it is.
Goodnight, world. 666 is the number of characters I have left. So is 42, for that matter (thanks, Douglas Adams!). Goodbye.4
So, I'm an intern and I'm always eager to learn new things and do new things. I want to give all the knowledge I have to improve the projects at work.
I give a lot of opinions about the projects I'm working. Ways to improve it. I sometimes ask why somethings where done that way, to understand.
My supervisors don't like that.
Sometimes I get very anxious because my life is very fucked up in the moment.
I think no one there likes me.
It's funny because in one of the meetings we had about this at some point in the conversation, I don't remember why, they said that "people are not robots", "people have feelings".
But they are always mad about something I said or asked (meanwhile, everyone else are saying bad things about the projects, about other people, even about HR).
I guess people need to unload their stress into someone.
I just want to finish this internship, get my fucking grade, and get out of this fucking company.
I'm thinking about turning myself into a robot.
A human robot.
I'm only going to say: yes, ok, sure, yes sir, hello, goodbye.
Just work like a robot like they want.4
Got a NodeJS social media server I'm building for a side project, inches away, but my wedding looming - goodbye free time! Haha
Currently my school's Java curriculum has outdated resources and the only modern resource is a poorly written AP Computer Science book that barely scratches the surface of the language. Well, my teacher saw what I'm capable of compared to some of the other students and decided that she wants me to write an entire curriculum for the class. The only thing that bothers me is that there are plenty of online resources that I used to get where I am that she refuses to let the class use because they're "too advanced" and "they won't understand it." Does she understand that I've never written a course before and that my way will probably be more difficult than the tutorials that she calls "too advanced?"
Well... there goes my summer I guess7
I uninstalled Brackets today. I haven't used it for about a year since I moved over to VSCode. I genuinely shed a tear thinking about the websites I made with it. I wrote my first line of Node in that program... Goodbye old friend1
Blah! Fucking Windows 10 thinking it knows what's best for me! 8:30 PM was not a good time to install some updates, you fuck!
Never thought I'd say I regret saying goodbye to Windows 8...
Head hunters reaching out with a "position that might intrest you".. with a stack of skills that are not on my CV at aaaaall
Also Headhunters after answering back: oh you have only 1 year experience with that tool? They want at least 3, goodbye.
All just a phishing scam to get u to give them an updated CV version.. no real "relevant position" in sight. Smh.3
Expecting a job offer from a great company next week. Finally, my anxiety is starting to ease. I can kiss goodbye to a company that doesn't value their employees or doesn't invest in their education or learning.
My motivation is completely gone. Senior developers harbour a culture, where anything new is deemed bad, even though these are not new technologies or ideas but battle tested by the industry, and instead want to keep spending time working on re-occurring issues every month. Leadership is too busy trying to keep up with all the feature requests that they don't care. Hopefully someone will realize it once people start leaving.1
Still studying, but considering dropping out. I've been working part time in the field since last months of highschool. Going to University seems like a waste of time. I just sit at lectures and listen about things I already know. Worst part of it is that it's extremely depressing, seems like I'm just wasting time I could be spending doing something actually productive. Seems like the only thing keeping me there currently is sunk cost fallacy.
Last week went to a startup conference and set up multiple interviews in some startups and if they go well I'm finally saying goodbye to University.1
As I dismantle the infrastructure for a now dead project I once worked very hard to main, I find myself oddly emotional about it. I can't help but feel a since of loss. Goodbye friend.
Checking Swift UI, first thoughts: goodbye Xcode freezing from storyboard loading ....
Sadly yes that's what I like about using Swift UI 😂😂😂
Oh and that binding, finally apple showed some love 😒
Setting up my HTPC allowed me to learn how to set up a nextcloud server. Time to start saying goodbye to Google!
Kind of a coding error. My git status was full of files I haven't committed, and I wanted to clear it.
I took a guess and thought 'git clean' would do the job. Stupidly I was in my documents directory, and I then said goodbye to all my documents... r.i.p.1
You know it sucks when you log in your PC first thing in the morning and have to wait for 1 hr before it gets to show your desktop whilst your energy automatically deflates.
I could kiss my productivity levels goodbye.
Any Kotlin fans out here? What's your favourite feature?
To me: coroutines and the flow API. I can't wait for the state flow and shared flow APIs to be released. Goodbye Rx! It'll come probably in the next release, which might come in a week already, because then JetBrains (Kotlin developer) hosts their online alternative to KotlinConf.7
It's time to say goodbye...
... to PacRom.
//PacRom is a custom rom which has tons of //unique features. Problem: It's supports only a //few devices, like my good old OnePlus One.)
But why do I want a change now?
1. I don't get any updates or security patches any more. Yes, it hadn't stopped me to change for a longe time, but I think now that my device has more holes than a cheese.
2. I have an old Android Version (5.1.1) so I have some problems with performance and compatibility in general and with some apps.
3. I want something new, a change.
Which Custom Rom will I use next?
I want to try Ubuntu Touch for a while and then I want to go to LineageOS, but I am open minded for other ideas or suggestions.4
So first reflex in looking what Electron development looks like was making a Hello world app. So it just makes a window saying "Hello world".
Then I proceed to editing the menu, and the quit option is "Goodbye world"... and I realized, or at least I thought... this is a bit... grim?1
I decided to give a try to NetBeans to open a C project and see what was inside. NetBeans died trying to parse it, taking all my RAM. Goodbye NetBeans2
A few months ago, I was saying that I preferred UE4 to Unity5 (Un5). At the time I really meant it.
Now I've used Un5 more, I realise that UE4 is asking you to build a hadron collider to make a cake, whilst Un5 just gets you to bake it in an oven.
Simply put, goodbye forever UE4!
I feel like I'm living in an unreal world at the moment. People here are actually eager to sometimes leave their job, but I just I had my last day here and the goodbye drinks, and Im actually sad to leave this company.
I was not forced out, but the TLDR is that this company has quite a substantial financial bump a few months back. I literally graduated yesterday, so back then I was like I needed a somewhat stable company to actually start my work life (although I worked for 2 years at this company during school). At the same time this company (which is financially going uphill again) made me a very generous offer to stay, which I did not deny nor accepted because I'm already committed to this new company I'm going to start at this Monday.
Really weird feelings, and I'm truly sad to leave. Especially after having one to one's with my close colleagues who genuinely praised me for my skills, from who I also know that in no way they are influenced by the boss of the company.
Man, I doubt any have been in a similar situation, but is there any advice which could make more confident I made the right decision that I stopped working here?1
"Averice - a serial novel"
2021 - found on the remnents of an old 'youtube' server rack.
A gaunt but handsome man walks into the view finder. Adjusts the camera. "Hi guys and girls." he smiles weakly. rubs his blonde unshaved stubble, running his hand over his mouth, inhaling as if trying to find the right words.
"How can I say this. god. ...americas fucked and rapidly going down the shitter,
college is a fucking scam,
all success in the modern day is based on fraud, bullshit, mythmaking, and "who you know."
we're on the verge of a new cold war, the merger of the fed and the treasury combine with negative oil is the legit death signal of the petrodollar, we're gonna go through a *50% haircut* in living standards and a doubling of taxes on *everything* in the next six months, the tech bubble is gonna burst taking with it half the industry jobs overnight, the credit bubble will burst even as the fucking stock market climbs higher, a quarter or more of all retail will shut down leaving empty assets turning every state property market into the equivalent of fucking detroit. MAD as a protective doctrine is dead with the spread of hypersonic weapons so enjoy living with the constant threat of being obliterated without warning, my entire generation basically has no meaningful or stable future to look forward to, and none of us have really had an actual, genuine say in anything involving society for decades."
He exhalled visibly on camera, as if exhausted by the demons of anxiety he'd poured forth, a torrent of fears, uncertainties, and revelations like the tormented ghost of christmas past
A long pull from a bottle of southern comfort.
"look. we have an out of control intelligence apparatus that are in their operation more orwellian than the real life stasi ever were, a government at both the federal and state level thats made of millionaires and billionaires who give no fucks at all except for their own power, out of control and absolutely dogshit-corrupt *local* leaders, nothing is audited, nothing is meaningfully transparented, rampant fraud, destruction of evidence, witness tampering, railroading, intimidation, violence, threats of violence, skyrocketing cost of living, skyrocketing spending, skyrocketing taxes, skyrocketing policies of total control by police, skyrocketing homelessness, fatherlessness, poverty, political corruption, drug abuse, massive politically funded thinly veiled state propaganda, collapsing and decaying infrastructure, the loss of all tradition, culture, community cohesion we might have had, and on and on and on and on.
and all I want right now is to get my dick sucked. drink a beer and blow my motherfucking brains out.
and when people start fighting in the streets over some bullshit and it turns into race riots, because the motherfuckers in the media serving wallstreet always make it about race or some stupid shit like that, I wont be in america to put up with it.
do us all a favor. when you're hanging bankers, hang some fucking journalists too. they never tell the truth. doesnt matter which side they are on
they only divide people and advocate for more of the same bullshit, expanded state powers, more federal dollars, more workers for their campaign, more privileges. they're fucking cancer. yes even your favorite journalist. they're a tumor on society.
our government has become hostile to us even being *alive* anymore. it has for me become intolerable, and in time I have grown to hate it.
there is no way to change it. no way to salvage it. I cannot see any hope for the future anymore. And if you search yourself I know many of you feel the same."
He took another long pull from the bottle.
"we no longer have a voice in america and no means to air our grievances peacefully.
theres nothing in it left worth saving when it all can be taken away at a moments notice by a deaf and hostile bureucratic government. I should have voted for bernie last year. At least he would have destroyed it.
many of you will disagree with this sentiment, thinking things can still work out. because you still have your creature comforts. your apartment which you cant afford. your car with its maintenace bills and monthly payments you've fallen behind on same as half the country now out of work, but in a short few months, a year at most, you will learn what I have learned, and the reason I drink, what I knew about as early as june of 2019, that this is it. this was as good as it was ever going to get. and that the good days, the best days are behind us. that all that you hold dear could be taken. all that you worked for, was already gone, and you just havent realized it yet. I've set this to autoupload once it's done recording. I built a company just to watch the people who dont want any of us to succeed burn america down around it. Im done. Goodbye america."
The man got up from his chair, camera still recording, and left. Only the red flashing dot remained, the only witness to the silence.9
Hey Fellows. I'm about to buy a new keyboard because my current one decided to say goodbye today. But I'm not sure which one i should take. My current favourite is "Das Keyboard 4 Professional".
What Keyboards are you guys using and why ?4
I'm a student at uni and also one of the two web devs at a website agency.
Today, I got in office and my boss told be, that he just signed off (confirmed) two mobile apps ( we're switching to React Native) and is in the talks with a few other clients, also we're like a week from starting our first big project.
Furthermore, internship deadlines are ending at the start of next month.
Goodbye Life 😂 🔫 💻
Budget cuts are being made and my boss doesn't like me so goodbye I guess to my 90k salary. It might not sound like a lot to y'all but it is to me.3
I figured out how to skip 2 months of development so we could launch Long ahead of schedule.
Question is should I tell them or do it? I don't feel like it really as I've been treated like shit and am looking for a New job.
It will take the stress off collegues, perhaps as a goodbye gift when I leave I'll put it on a thumb drive and give it if I feel bad.2
The only part of my workflow I hate is where I have to speak to my clients. End of the story, goodbye.
Bloody fucking Android! Updates, updates and more updates! My development Nexus 5X won't allow me to sideload apps since it updated... Hello, printf debugging! Goodbye, profiler and debugger!
My hate for Android grows with each version after 4.0.$something... 2 was shit, I missed 3, 4 was OK, and since then it's going steeply down.
And don't get me started on Material Design...! Good luck figuring out what's a button and what's a label...
And what's up with the "let's keep all apps running all the time to save a few ms on start" philosophy!? Who thought that is a good idea!? Yeah, System.exit(0) works, but... Is it so hard to determine when it's not needed anymore (has no services running etc.)? Why should a web browser (for example) stay in memory after I quit? Minimize is a thing (Home button), why make it so confusing?
Another thing - feedback-less async tasks - why? I like to know when it is working in the background... How the hell am I supposed to find out if it is supposed to do this or if it is frozen?
And Android deciding to kill your process whenever it pleases without any callback... Happened to me once with an Activity in the foreground (no exceptions anywhere in my app, it just quit). How do you do IO properly? It seems you can't guarantee some file or socket or something that must be closed doesn't stay open (requiring to restart Bluetooth 'cause the socket wasn't closed, for example)...5
It's just really unexpected for me, but I'm about to uninstall mx player. Font catch loading take toooo long and there is no way to solve it. Goodbye MX, you were a good player and you are not any more.7
Goodbye Ampps, hello Valet!!
Just got a Macbook Pro recently for personal web dev stuff. Previously, I usually use Ampps (like MAMP) for my local development.
But I want to move away from that as I wanted to go through the whole process of setting up my own local dev env.
After 3 days of trial and errors and many deadends, finally managed to get an existing Craft project running on Valet. The most tedious part was figuring out how connect Sequel Pro to local MySQL.
Through this whole process I've learned how to use Homebrew, setup MySQL with Sequel Pro, use Valet and most importantly, learning how to troubleshoot these problems...
Exclaimed a big YES! And mum came rushing into my room thinking I was mad... whateva...
Next step, figure out Docker.
2 weeks into my industrial placement year during University I was tasked with writing a rhel .rpm file to install our software.
Within this script contained rm -rf ... you can see where this is going, right?
Well this command was meant to delete a local usr/bin folder during the cleanup, and it did! But I must have accidentally changed something, and instead of staying local, it bounced to /. Goodbye usr/bin. Goodbye 2 weeks worth of progress. Hello angry infrastructure team...1
When people say they wish a language was more strict. I'm a fan of the loose lol.
Tried Python. Script failed due to indent not at right amount. Bye
C#/.NET... Typecasting out the a$$. Goodbye lol
PHP. Anything goes. Hello, this is my kind of world. Never had an issue with types but I write my code to handle values properly.
And I know people will have opposing views. However I will say that you can still achieve the strictness in PHP by putting in your own checks. Create a few custom functions to do your validations and you are good to go :)3
Fuck Ubuntu and it's caching. What's that? Oh you have 180 Gigs of free space? Let me take care of that for you in a few minutes. Say goodbye to your next boot and good luck figuring that shit out.5
I am particularly guilty of this, embedding non-constructive comments, code poetry and little jokes into most of my projects (although I usually have enough sense to remove anything directly offensive before releasing the code). Here's one I'm particulary fond of, placed far, far down a poorly-designed 'God Object':
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
I'M SORRY!!!! I just couldn't help myself.....!
And another, which I'll admit I haven't actually released into the wild, even though I am very tempted to do so in one of my less intuitive classes:
// Dear maintainer:
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// total_hours_wasted_here = 42
Principle of life 10: final program, my Guatemalan students making their programming exam, using the compiler under Android, I hope you have learned something about our life and struggling in Guatemala, I hope you are not misinformed, bye and sincere hugs, Guatemala is a friend country prople1
I didn't know that "Ctrl + Alt + L" can be runned over whole project, selecting main dir in PhpStorm. Goodbye fucking WordPress code style in templates etc. 😊