Fuck the memes.

Fuck the framework battles.

Fuck the language battles.

Fuck the titles.

Anybody who has been in this field long enough knows that it doesn't matter if your linus fucking torvalds, there is no human who has lived or ever will live that simultaneously understands, knows, and remembers how to implement, in multiple languages, the following:

- jest mocks for complex React components (partial mocks, full mocks, no mocks at all!)
- token cancellation for asynchronous Tasks in C#
- fullstack CRUD, REST, and websocket communication (throw in gRPC for bonus points)
- database query optimization, seeding, and design
- nginx routing, https redirection
- build automation with full test coverage and environment consideration
- docker container versioning, restoration, and cleanup
- internationalization on both the front AND backends
- secret storage, security audits
- package management, maintenence, and deprecation reviews
- integrating with dozens of APIs
- fucking how to center a div

and that's a _comically_ incomplete list; barely scratches the surface of the full range of what a dev can encounter in a given day of writing software

have many of us probably done one or even all of these at different times? surely.

but does that mean we are supposed to draw that up at a moment's notice some cookie-cutter solution like a fucking robot and spit out an answer on a fax sheet?

recruiters, if you read this site (perhaps only the good ones do anyway so its wasted oxygen), just know that whoever you hire its literally the luck of the draw of how well they perform during the interview. sure, perhaps some perform better, but you can never know how good someone is until they literally start working at your org, so... have fun with that.

Oh and I almost forgot, again for you recruiters, on top of that list which you probably won't ever understand for the entirety of your lives, you can also add writing documentation, backup scripts, and orchestrating / administrating fucking JIRA or actually any somewhat technical dashboard like a CMS or website, because once again, the devs are the only truly competent ones - and i don't even mean in a technical sense, i mean in a HUMAN sense of GETTING SHIT DONE IN GENERAL.

There's literally 2 types of people in the world: those who sit around drawing flow charts and talking on the phone all day, and those WHO LITERALLY FUCKING BUILD THE WORLD

why don't i just run the whole fucking company at this point? you guys are "celebrating" that you made literally $5 dollars from a single customer and i'm just sitting here coding 12 hours a day like all is fine and well

i'm so ANGRY its always the same no matter where i go, non-technical people have just no clue, even when you implore them how long things take, they just nod and smile and say "we'll do it the MVP way". sure, fine, you can do that like 2 or 3 times, but not for 6 fucking months until you have a stack of "MVPs" that come toppling down like the garbage they are.

How do expect to keep the "momentum" of your customers and sales (I hope you can hear the hatred of each of these market words as I type them) if the entire system is glued together with ducktape because YOU wanted to expedite the feature by doing it the EASY way instead of the RIGHT way. god, just forget it, nobody is going to listen anyway, its like the 5th time a row in my life

we NEED tests!
we NEED to know our code coverage!
we NEED to design our system to handle large amounts of traffic!
we NEED detailed logging!
we NEED to start building an exception database!

BILBO BAGGINS! I'm not trying to hurt you! I'm trying to help you!

Don't really know what this rant was, I'm just raging and all over the place at the universe. I'm going to bed.

Fucking React Scripts, "yOu hAvE mUlTiPlE VErSiOnS oF bAbEL-JeSt, Use nPm Ls Jest To TrACk It Down"

Ok you dumb fucks:

npm ls babel-jest
react-typescript@1.0.0 /Users/chris/Downloads/8sleu4
└─┬ react-scripts@4.0.3
├── babel-jest@26.6.3
└─┬ jest-circus@26.6.0
└─┬ jest-runner@26.6.3
└─┬ jest-config@26.6.3
└── babel-jest@26.6.3

OH LOOK THEY ARE BOTH IDENTICALLY 26.6.3 STOP BUILDING AN OPINIONATED PILE OF GARBAGE IN YOUR COCONUT TREE FUCKED UP FALSE PARADISE YOU CALL SILICON VALLEY!!!!!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BUNCH OF GARBAGE!!!! I'D PREFER A TOOL WRITTEN BY KINDERGARTNERS IN CRAYON!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EVERY

SINGLE

TIME

REACT SCRIPTS

BREAKS

Jest? It's the perfect name for a testing library, because I certainly feel like a clown! 🤡

#clowndrivendevelopment

FullStackClown: * adds one line to a jest test *

Jest: All tests failing

Jest: 🤡

Ffs, spent all day fixing jests tests and couldn’t resolve an error. Hours of googling turns out it, I forgot to put event.preventDefault() on a blank href.

Mondays….

RAAAAAAH fuck fuck fucking shit!!! Fuck jest Typescript "on the fly" compilation esModuleInterop typeroots, missing definitions jest ts-ignore and xtest everywhere, manual npm linking with different pkg mgrs & pub to a private registry, building docker images locally and doing tag management across git, docker & kubernetes then cross fingers that prod which has 0 common setup with local & test somehow works, open architecture "tickets" and wait months before they resolve, then repeat ad infinitum. How the fuck can I be productive when I need to be all over the place all the time and deal with these meta-code shenanigans. I just wanna code, damned

I'm sick of a toxic soup of ways to test frontend.

Throw in vitest, jest,jsdom, testing library, @testing-library/jest-dom, together and you are left with n^2 ways things can be configured.

Why on earth do I need to import anything to do with Jest when I am working with a vitest project.

I think such tools are made to get invite opportunities to speak at conferences.

My fellow developer was given a responsibility of writing unit test cases.
And instead of mocking the db calls he ended up making actual calls to db and adding realtime data to firestore everytime a test runs. Also he used mocha for the same. When i told him that we need to mock the db calls he said he will use sinon.js for the same and for code coverage his plans were to use istanbul.
I was like FUCKKKKKKK. , why the fk you aren't using jest. I mean whyyyyyyyy. WHAT THE FK

It's 2022 and jest still doesn't support ES6 module out of the box (it's been around for 7 years).

I implore ANYONE... please...

Have you EVER written a SINGLE Jest test that didn't have some sort of bullshit spewing stuff like this:

"ReferenceError: You are trying to `import` a file after the Jest environment has been torn down."

"Warning: React.createElement: type is invalid -- expected a string (for built-in components) or a class/function (for composite components) but got: object. You likely forgot to export your component from the file it's defined in, or you might have mixed up default and named imports."

and yet running on a device, features work flawlessly and quite well, no errors or even warnings in sight logged

This is the most fragile pile of garbage I have ever seen.

I hate this.

inb4 your stupid ass todo boilerplate garbage you wrote tests for in freshman year. i'm talking about a REAL app with HUNDREDS of components.

where the grownup testing tools at? it's a question I've still not answered after a year of fucking around with this framework

Behold! This is the first time in my career when Jest and unit testing in general actually helped me 😂

Spent two days moving from a fucking slow piece of crap called Gatsby to Vite, trying to comprehend the difference between TS aliases, Babel aliases and Linaria aliases. Found an answer inside a totally unrelated issue explaining Jest stuff, good job on documentation, Linaria!

Vite is fast. Crazy fast. Forget about Webpack, Parcel and things alike — Vite doesn't even need to bundle JS.

Gatsby was slow to the point of my computer's audio glitching, I'm not even talking about the OS interface lags.

Vite is fast to the point that I don't actually need a new MacBook.