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"hey there is this bug, could you fix it?"
me: sure whats the bug?
*explains the bug*
me:... thats.... thats your feature request from last week8 -
Knock.
Knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.
Who's there?
Fibonacci.5 -
1 minute of Thread.sleep() for Tum, the best cat ever. Rest in peace, your memory will live on in my devrant avatar.
17 -
So im colorblind and i just recently found out that most IDEs use color syntax and it sounds like such a good idea.16
-
Was originally hired for 3 months.
Just finished the project 2 weeks ago, after 1.5 years.
I fucking hate data science now.8 -
Dear people of Subway, just because i am using cmd, it doesnt mean i am
"Hacking your wifi network" and asking me to stop is rather unneccessary25 -
My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"
Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"8 -
B: you are not even a real developer
Me: ??
B: you are using windows
Me:
Me: what the fucking fuck did you just fucking say you little fuck? Ill have you know i have written at least 4 lines of code, commented once and have a stackoverlfow reputation of -7. I have completed every beginner level udemy course on applied brainfuck mathematics and have worked as a distributed data analyst with excel 03. You are nothing to me, every piece of code i write runs on exactly 3 billion devices and i have an unsuccessful facebook meme page. Bitch.5 -
Just got an email that i dodnt get a job.
But guys... Your 'selection process' took a month. A literal month. I already got an other job 2 weeks ago.4 -
Oh no microsoft is gonna buy github!
Just like they bought xamarin and turned it from a buggy piece of shit into something borderline useful?
Just like they funded canonical so ubuntu could become a distro what any person can use as easily as windows because they had money to actually hire people?
Just like they bought mojang and invested billions in an education platform?
Oh boy whatever will we do...16 -
me, sitting @ college, soldering together a charging cable
someone: oh wow you can do this stuff? i thought you were a computer scientist, not an engineer
me:...
me: yeah i need an engineering degree to wrap duct tape around cables7 -
When I hear sales guy using technical terms in the wrong context while doing his sales pitch to a client...
2 -
>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted
10/10, would answer again5 -
In a nutshell, i severely underestimated myself, applied to a bunch of places and now they all want to hire me. Oh well.11
-
"Java is slow"
If that is the only reason you can come up with when i ask you why dou you think java is bad, im going to assume youre either a fucking shit programmer or live in the 90s.46 -
Me: cool, i organized all my exams to be the most effective, if i study now, i can relax for a few weeks before i have to move.
Interesting side project: hi3 -
New years eve plans:
Partying with friends ✖
Getting wasted ✖
Shooting fireworks ✖
Reading godot documentation ✔7 -
open telegram
'hey guys i have a cool idea for a project'
"yeah thats a neat idea lets do it"
we get drunk on the first meeting and completely forget about the project5 -
Please learn the fucking difference between a text editor and an IDE. I dont give a shit aboyt your super duper complex vim package manager supreme deluxe edition ITS STILL A DAMN TEXT EDITOR YOU FUCK.15
-
So there is this thing @ the office that everyone has to bake 50 pancakes once.
Its 2 am, i just got done, i cant cook to save my life.
Guess what.
Its 49.8 -
Oh hey i should go to sleep early and work out in the morning.
Or i could implement those new features for my library ive been thinking about.
Or i could polish up some of my older sites.
....or i could stay up till 3am, reading subtly gay korean comics.4 -
Client: We need video chatting facility in our website
Me: Ok. But it will take more time and effort. It will cost you more too!
Client: Don't build from scratch. We use Skype in our company. Just embed in our website too!
Me: **facepalm**5 -
can you put this on the right side when someone scrolls?
*sends a gif of a caterpillar running at 3 fps with sparkles everywhere*5 -
"Your every second word is 'fuck', you really should watch out for that."
Fucking give me a fucking client who doesnt fucking call me at 6am fucking saturday and ill fucking stop swearing.4 -
Pretty sure someone already posted it here, but I don't have the patience to check. Just want to share it.
Source: https://towardsdatascience.com/five...
1 -
I will disregard the fact that our target platform is windows, so sure, newly hired intern, go ahead and use linux if you want, it doesnt really matter.
After that he accomplished 1 day's work in a week because he was googling how to set up linux environments
CHOOSE THE TOOL FOR THE FUCKING JOB YOU DIMWIT9 -
When you are working on a feature and someone else is working on the same thing and you commit at the same time and now you have to resolve conflicts but both versions work
2 -
me: yo, im kinda low on cash right now, i should save some money and not do any iot projects this month
also me: yo, look at those nfc chips, i got an idea1 -
Ooh this is good.
At my first job, i was hired as a c++ developer. The task seemed easy enough, it was a research and the previous developer died, leaving behind a lot of documentation and some legacy fortran code. Now you might not know, but fortran can be really easily converted to c, and then refactored to c++.
Fine, time to read the docs. The research was on pollen levels, cant really tell more. Mostly advanced maths. I dug through 500+ pages of algebra just to realize, theres no way this would ever work. Okay dont panic, im a data analyst, i can handle this.
Lets take a look at the fortran code, maybe that makes more sense. Turns out it had nothing to do with the task. It looped through some external data i couldnt find anywhere and thats it. Yay.
So i exported everything we had to a csv file, wrote a java program to apply linefit with linear regression and filter out the bad records. After that i spent 2 days in a hot server room, hoping that the old intel xeon wouldnt break down from sending java outputs directly to haskell, but it held on its own.1 -
if you ever feel bad or useless about your ability as a programmer, just remember that this is the kinda code i write when im tired
13 -
Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."
Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"6 -
you might think that windows updates are painful but this piece of shit has been like this for an hour JUST LET ME FUCKING DEPLOY
14 -
Lets assume my name is Levi Secondname (half of it is correct)
at my last workplace there was a guy with the same name, in the same office, except he was an ios dev, so when i ordered food i always put 'Android Levi' as the name, otherwise it would get mixed up3 -
Dude from old job who treated me like shit messaged me to implement 2 new features. I quit like half a year ago now. Ok i guess.6
-
full stack web development in 2017: mvvm model, api for backend, parsing on frontend
me: <?php echo "<div>hello".$name."</div>" ?>9 -
Insomnia: yeah, nice cors header
Postman: neat cors header mate
Fetch in browser: where the FUCK is the cors header you retard7 -
Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.
Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.
Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.
Client: is happy
Me: ??? -
Me, whenever i work with something other than java: "Wow, this could be done so much easier with java"17
-
"Server deployment is automated from git, so dont merge things into the master branch without permission"
Oh ok
>i create new branch
>push unfinished code because i gotta hurry
>server breaks
Well golly gee seems like you did a shit job at automating7 -
If programmers became musicians we would see
- Wake me up when my build ends, 21 cores, Boulevard of broken CI pipelines by Blue Screen Day
- Smoke from my cabinet by Deep For-Loop
- This is how you debug me by Loopback
- Post-release rhapsody by debug queen
- Another bug in the code by Programmer Floyd
- Smells like bad code by Coders from Botswana
- A place for my code, Cure for the bug by Likin to code at dark
etc etc..5 -
Sitting at home, looking at my facebook friends. Im noticing a trend that all the people getting diplomas are the ones who dont even have a github account.7
-
I think im sick. Not because my whole body hurts, my nose is running and i cant even move, but because i just had the idea that i should unit test my personal project.4
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If some yampy bloke ask me bout the origin of my username again imma shove a can of ice cold monster™ energy drink up em ass (: Is it hard to look it up?? (Dont look it up tho, it porn)
So it a funky ass breakbeat/chiptune kinda album. Sod off.
16 -
Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!
"No thanks lol it works this way too"
Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution
"Why are you so mean"1 -
We were having a conversation with a bunch of friends and somehow i came up with this
Ps, the data is valid
12 -
Psa: i dont give a shit if you use php but dont you fucking dare echo your shit out to the dom or i will fucking gut you you degenerate16
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Its been a few hours, and i was busy with meetings but
THANK Y'ALL FOR 10K ++
I remember wk20something, when i joined devrant. I was just starting a job as a data analyst, and the wk at that time spoke to me on a personal level, so i wrote a quick rant and didnt give it much thought. The next day i opened devrant and had like 100++s and a bunch of comments. Since then ive met a lot of awesome people here and im happy i clicked the install button back then. Thanks cfox and brogus for the opportunity, love ya.
Already got a longboard as a 10k-day gift :^)2 -
I was learning something and my girlfriend saw "Hello world" written on my screen and she got mad at me because I should've written "Hello [her-name]" instead... PMS is a hell of a drug12
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I was talking with a guy who is making an android app for his thesis but hes "shitdamn awful in java". I offered to help because im so fucking nice.
"oh but i dont have facebook, is it a problem?"
Nah sure i dont use facebook anyways, got telegram?
"No"
Riot? Irc?
"Nope"
Then what do you use???
"Skype"
?!!?!??!??!!???!??!7 -
Aye so i got a new job, and its android. I thought "yeah sure, ive been a java dev my whole life, it will be easy".
And it is easy.
But its like a fleshed out java, with a trillion built in classes and xml (seroiusly, fuck xml), and also the studio eats away my ram.5 -
Well im slowly getting there, but i still dont understand why does my wife want me to make her cam...
8 -
So there is this programming competition i regularly enter. I dont give a shit about the competition part, its just fun to make something in a limited time. This year, i was kinda hyped that i threw together a modern stack, with Java Spark and VueJS, that would be really cool to use.
Today we got the requirements.
Php and jquery.
Well fuck me for living in 2017 apparently.1 -
Hey im a fullstack DEVELOPER, not a fullstack DESIGNER, so dont fucking ask a colorblind person to 'just throw a simple design together, it shouldnt take more than 10 minutes'3
-
What to do with a web development intern who doesn't understand the concept of git even after 3 weeks of joining?
PS: Can't fire her20 -
When you push seemingly harmless untested code to production server which breaks the whole application...
2 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall, from time to time look at your old code, introspect and improve!
-
I just had another shitty idea, yall know cards against humanity. I wanna make a hearthstone-yugioh-CAH -esque game where the cards are all dev-related. Like say [c++] {onSummon: 'shuffle 2 pointer cards into your deck'}. Ill probs start a collab here, dunno, if ya steal my idea then dont be a bitch about it and say so in the comments.3
-
hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho
IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE6 -
I really wish i was a good designer. Id love to put together attractive frontends with cool and unique ideas.
I also wish i wasnt colorblind.3 -
Xamarin.forms. True multiplatform* by Microsoft.
*you just have to make sure not to use any of the platform specific features, or write 3 completely different codes10 -
Friend: 'im really anxious, i need a job this summer and i dont know if i can find one with my stack'
Me:'why, whats your stack?'
Friend:'php, mysql, javascript'
Me:'...DUDE'6 -
People talk about how they would love to switch to Linux, but cannot, as they claim that gaming lives on Windows. This may have been the case ten years ago but it isn't now.
And further, Microsoft is working hard to break steam, humble, gog, and any other delivery systems they do not control. Such anti-consumer behavior should not be tolerated, let alone rewarded. One result of this is that almost every indie game that comes out now has native Linux support within months, if not on day 1.
The only weak spot is AAA games. But as AAA games and mobile games begin to converge, in terms of the subscription/microtransaction models they're both moving toward, with very few exceptions, I personally don't think I'm really missing anything when I see a Windows-only game for $60 with no Linux support.
And if I really want, I can play un-wine-able Windows games through parsec, though that's getting rarer and rarer all the time.11 -
Everytime i see someone listing a shitload of languages, i safely assume that they speak around 2-3 of them fluently. I did some c++ and can write a site in php but they are nowhere near my java knowledge, so i only list them as something i played around with. There is just no way you are fluent in c++, java and javascript because they take half a lifetime to master individually7
-
"best [distro/ide/laptop/buttplug] for web development?"
So you are.... You are basically asking whats the best for editing text files?10 -
Me, 2 months ago: "This stack is such an overhead and unneccesarily complicated. The app could be made in like a week with jsp and jquery."
Other guy, 2 months ago: "No, we use Spring and angular2, and these 7 test/automation tools"
Other guy now: "We are nowhere, we havent even completed sprint1"
Me:
3 -
Bind learning c++ chapter 3
Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.9 -
*reverts a layout file to the one in git*
*gradle fails, no components found, electricity goes off, office catches fire, the world ends*4 -
This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...1 -
I just got a bugreport for an ages old release of a software which was assumed finished. Problem is, i couldnt find the source anywhere.
"hey, could you send me the file so i can check the bug?"
*sends jar file*
"yay im saved"
thanks java, for being easily disassembled 👌😍1 -
I pressed "update" on windows 10 and its been runn..
Wait nevermind, it finished in about 5 minutes on my old dual core laptop with a 5400rpm hard drive.3 -
Wanted to do a 1 hour coding challenge. Thought "hey why not use js this time". 3 hours later, my blood pressure is skyrocketing and i am really bothered by js threading.2
-
Programming commandment: Thou shall not commit code snippet copied from StackOverflow without adding a comment to help future coder brethren!
-
Few days ago i niticed one of my (site) accounts was deleted for inactivity. I thought fuck it, ion use that site, lets have fun. I wrote an email to get it restored:
"Sorry i got ass cancer and it took dr lil pump 2 years to cure me and couldnt use the site from the hospital"
Today, i got an email that i got my account back.4 -
Sent a cv to a company because facebook threw their ad at my face and i said why not. They emailed me that they would call me today. I dont have a phone. Its not fucking 2007. Call me on matrix or telegram or even skype ffs.19
-
I was tricky this time and sent a separate email for the client and my boss about the new release.
Client response: "Its very good, runs flawlessly, could you check x if you have the time? It gives errors simetimes"
Boss response: "[...] urgent fix get working on it right now [...]"
Seems like my boss has been the fucking piece of shit all this time :)1 -
[wk200]
Ordered a set of copic markers, they should be here tomorrow. At least this quarantine crap gives me time to draw again after 5 years.4 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!2
-
!rant/!story/!question
So, I've been developing a little Chrome Extention for people who usually searches quite a lot on Wiki and Wiktionary.
I mainly developed it for my own laziness to open a new tab and search for a term.
What it does is, when you select a word and triggers the extension, it will show a little dialog with Wikipedia and Wiktionary definitions for the selection.
If anyone is curious or interested in the idea, would be helpful to receive some feedback.
(sorry for the logo on the image, it's the only one that I have here, at the moment.)
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/...
9 -
Just realized, that after a few months of running my crypto trading algo, i have around 0.1 bitcoin. Started by mining monero in like february, and just traded back and forth afterwards.5
-
Hey, my team is attending a hackathon kind of thing tonight. Can you recommend us some interesting php+js stacks?19
-
Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!
3 -
I was looking for a solution in some piece of code for half an hour but then I had to go. I took a photo of the code with my phone and then figured out the solution while I was on the bus :D5
-
The past few days ive been looking into angular.
Its a bloated piece of crap. It makes your page twice the fucking size and adds tons of unneccessary code with shit syntax. Whatever you do in angular can be done in a normal language, even fucking vanilla javascript. Stop fucking making unneccessary frameworks for js developers who are too lazy to learn a proper language.3 -
I should be studying but i started working on my last idea (read the rant), will probs post it as a collab once i got something that actually works
3 -
I tried so hard and debugged so far
But in the end it didn't even matter
As I rewrote function call to loose it all!1 -
Ive been sitting here, trying to do VERY basic shit in angular (hiding elements and api calls), and after downloading 5 additional node modules that break my "build" (its not a fucking build, this is an interpreted language), im confident to say, fuck angular.4
-
Free games give-away:
Quake Champions is free on Steam till the 18th of June:
https://store.steampowered.com/app/...
(Windows)
Ziggurat is free for on GoG just for today:
https://www.gog.com/game/ziggurat
(Windows, Mac, Linux)2 -
Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm3
-
Can anyone tell me why is it good to use some crap language that transpiles to javascript? Yes i hate js too but 90% of my time using reason/ts/elm is just
>ddg how to do x in y
>no answer
>Js.unsafe.eval "js code"
Like???? None of them is a 100% complete wrapper???6 -
Aint a rant, but pulsar player has the best fucking implementation of the material design ive ever seen, everything is perfectly flat and still alive aaah
4 -
[corona wk]
Not at all, but i bought an electric scooter so i dont have to take public transport.
Also instead of "bless you" we now say "corona".1 -
I got an interview on monday but i completely forgot i even applied. They said its java AND c#, so i can guarantee a 50% score i guess.
Can someone explain what the fuck is a namespace while we r at it?5 -
Moving to a new office this week. The only chinese restaurant nearby is one of those where you get 5 times the amount of rice compared to the meat. Fuck.5
-
[worst hypothetical dev job]
You know how theres a dedicated person in porn whos job is blowing the actors so they are hard? That, but with writing all the boilerplate code and nothing else.1 -
Facebook's algorithm is so bad that I can't believe that. In the past few days I marked ~20 posts from the same person with the same/similar content as "Hide post - see fewer posts like this". And now, not that I see fewer of these posts, they are literally throwing all such posts of that person to my feed. I know that I can unfollow this person but I don't want to. I just want to filter out these specific posts (they are all the same, some link, image of an old black and white photo and some description).5
-
All my respect goes to sysadmins, ive been trying to hack together a cronjob for tha past 2 hours and its still not working.4
-
It doesnt matter that i turned auto-update off, if devrant gets a new version i WILL hear about it. We all will hear about it.
-
just got a linkedin msg
"Hello, im from a headhunter company, looking for..."
THEY ARENT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE2 -
I dont really have a story here, i just want to thank every college teacher/assistant teacher who has real world experience and decides to pass it on to students instead of picking from the billions of job offerings.3
-
Jmonkey 3 is so damn fast wow, why dont they use this wonder instead of unity?
*angry js fanboys in the distance*
Oh yeah thats why1 -
Dear rust,
I swear im not going to modify that string, i fucking swear on my life pinky promise, just plEASE LET ME USE IT WITHOUT HAVING TO CLONE.
Sincerely, a functional programmer6 -
Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.
-
Just wrote an angry email about the unrealistic demands towards my team. Got a call an hour later from [product owner] where he had the most worried voice i ever heard because we are the only data scientists in the research. I expected an email reply in 2 weeks, seems like we are somewhat important here.2
-
After catching up on the mcu movies, i finna watch infinity war, but honestly, am i the only one who thinks they need to start working on other things than the origin story of every damn being in the unuverse?7
-
Im slowly going from emails like "looking for developers" to "hi, when can you start" and i dont know if i should be happy or worried.
-
me: fuck yeah i love java
java: JFormattedTextField tf = ((JSpinner.DefaultEditor) columns.getEditor).getTextField();
me: ...
me: punish me more mommy3 -
The feeling when your pc runs out of usb ports because of all the different android devices hooked up to it.1
-
A coder and a non-coder were travelling on a boat together. Due to some reason there was a hole in that boat and it started to drown. Non-coder survived but coder didn't. Why? Coder thought it was just another loop hole which he could fix using his laptop. So much for his confidence!3
-
Oh i cant wait to fail my exam in 6 hours because i forgot that i even have one and when i tried to study yesterday i realized that 90% of the papers is just fucking equations we have to memorize. Yay for quality education with most of the curriculum being fucking useless. I want to either quit this shithole or kill myself but both would make my mom upset.7
-
So i left my job as an android dev earlier (nothing big, just didnt wanna juggle school and work) and as the year started i noticed that somehow i ended up working as an android dev again but this time in c#. There's no escape.9
-
Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!
-
Right now what i want to do is just quit everything, move somewhere else, get a job and never fucking look back. Im sick of all these projects college dumps on me, the idiots im surronded with, my job, people who think im interested in their fucking research. I just want a 8 to 5 job and after 5 im fucking done and nobody calls me about how long will the next release take for projects i dont give a shit about.
In other news i just started my thesis yay.1 -
Tldr: what are some tips you wish you got when you started programming?
Hey so. I got added to a facebook group with absolute beginners to programming. Been tryna answer their questions but its getting overwhelming and i thought id make a definitive guide to beginners or something like that. I have a buncha topics and tips but the more the better, so please if you got some advice you wish you got x years ago, post it down here.5 -
I made a speedcoding video and its really fun to see just how fast can you make yourself code something that works.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Here, ill probably make more later.9 -
@RazorSh4rk -> @BindView for personal security reasons, also now u can quickly set behavior to your replies :^)6
-
how to php, an infographic by Bind (that me)
0) assert your goal, in this example let it be sending an email from the server
1) search for implemented methods
2) all you can find is either outdated or not helping at all
3) think of solution in any other language (eg c# or node)
4) implement 3)
5) iterate until you have something that works but you have no idea why
6) after 1 week, realize that there is a built in method, but its called userData_registration_sEnder0(adress, header, egg, pinNumbe_r, message)
7) cry5 -
So I was on a .NET project for a couple of months, then went to a Angular 6 project, now I'm starting on a PHP project.
I'm just loving these past few months. -
The past few months i got a bunch of emails and calls from my previous "boss" (hes the head of the research), that he would be grateful if i helped them out. I got a few friends still working on that piece of shit project so i said yeah, i can help.
Now this whole thing is a research involving most of the big universities, lots of math phds, and is kinda secret. They couldnt find anyone to sketch up a few stupid algorithms for them so i did just that.
Yesterday i got the specifications for the task. Its the core functioning algo, the one i made from fucking discrete integer data, it took me 3 fucking months to correct their mistakes, and now they want me to create 2 similar patterns for 2 completely different...things. Yeeeah no.3 -
I was an introvert while growing up hence I found interacting with non-living things easier. When I was 11 i.e. like 17 years I told my parents to enroll me into computer classes. They didn't see much of a future in it so they refused. I fought hard and finally they agreed. Hence started my journey with computers.
First week all students were allowed to explore the computer we were assigned and also were taught to play basic Windows 95 default games to make it interesting. It was all fun. Next week the teacher said he would be teaching us how to tell computer to do what we want i.e. programming. Hearing that I could make my computer do what I want excited me a lot. I felt I could finally communicate to a computer. This is how I learnt BASIC. I was so amazed I could do so many things like take input and do calculations etc. I decided I would do this kind of job in the future if it exists.
So now I am actually doing what I wanted to do when I started programming i.e. coding job!1 -
Right now i want to put together a system to automatically water/warm/whatever my chilli peppers, but on the long run i want to embed some microcontrollers into my body.4
-
me: what a nice day
someone: hey, wanna join our project? its a university thing
me: yeah sure
someone: oh, you r the PM
me: AAAAA -
FFS why?! Just why....are people making things more complicated then they should be? And they use that for divs, headings, spans...
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Yes, i can surely calculate the distribution of datasets when they look like
9 x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 1
That will be SO accurate2 -
i really love using linux with terminal only up to the point when i need to check a command and realize that i havent even installed a browser on my pi4
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When an intern gives me suggestions on technology stack to use for the new application I'm building...
4 -
You know your day is gonna be bad when it's Monday and you are told to work on a badly written legacy flash application!
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I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:
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Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?
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I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic
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Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS
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whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf
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Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you3 -
Why the fuck does android studio freeze on every 7th deploy. I just want a world where jetbrains can actually create useful IDEs please.4
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1) clicking on the wk141 tag wouldnt show the wk140 rants
2) big titty mafia mommy gf
3) when i buy something i always have the exact price on my bank account -
How do you deal with having too much work on your back but still wanting to help people around you, because you know they are good people and trying their best but they also have too much work to do?6
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"Whenever there is a decline in quality of code and rise of bugs and errors oh dear coder, I manifest to show the path of bug and error free coding" said code-god
- Chapter 1 Verse 1, Code Gita -
Does anyone here uses Docker for all the environments (dev, qual, prod)?
If yes, how do you feel about it? How it is?8 -
The thing I really wish for is devrant posts not to be visible when i look up things on ddg, because i wanna rant about stuff but they are so exact that it would take 2 nanoseconds to find my user here.4
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2 week "conference" "meeting" in greece. Thought would also be a nice chance for a vacation. Except the cell network is absolute horseshit here, who the fuck uses 3g anymore??1
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Anybody entering ludum dare on the 29th? I wanna try my luck at making a game, never succeeded before :')3
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Me: okay lets test this website i made for my iot projects
Apache2: nah nope i aint loading shell stuff
Me: hm seems like a php bug, lets debug locally
Me:
Me: fucking
1 -
How come that im absolute shit when it comes to designing a webpage but i can make really fucking cool looking android apps, when they are essentially the same thing1
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This is !dev as fuck but does anyone know something like a book recommendation engine? There are a ton for movies and anime, but couldnt find a good one for books. The best would be one where i input some books and fonds me similar ones.
Alternatively, im looking for dark fantasy books where magic is negligible and potentially has assassins in it, if anyone knows good ones.10 -
Everyones like "python is pseudocode" but honestly i dont see it, after sql, python is the least intuitive syntax i ever worked with, and i frequently use haskell so4
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Currently rewriting a python library because the author clearly doesnt understand what crossplatform means, and this language is fucking terrible.2
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I cant really contribute much to this wk because im mostly doing dev stuff in my free time.
But league and, well, strategy games in general taught me a lot about micromanaging stuff and thinking ahead. My advice is, if you wanna get better at most mental tasks, go download lol or grab a copy of cities or eu4 and play for half an hour every day.9 -
!dev
>Be my friend
>Buy a tdi
>Upshift at 1300rpm
>Get up to speed in like a minute
Ffs the turbo never even turned on what the fuck.1 -
There is a job fair coming up next week and while i dont really want to find a new job, i thought this would be a good excuse to update my cv a bit.
My question is, do you have any templates/frameworks/anything you usually use for stuff like this? I always throw together some bootstrap page but i want to learn something new.1 -
Ah yes i also love when you have so much shit to do for college where you are supposed to be studying developer stuff, that you havent written a single line of code in the past week because you dont have time.1
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Yo, i have a course where i have to build an android app, and we can make what the fuckever we want. Can you give me some interesting APIs, that are publicly available? It doesnt have to make sense, everything is better than using the anidb api, and thats the only thing that comes to mind.2
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VS Code ships so many features with every release that I'm having diificulties keeping track of all cool stuff1
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When you're all happy because you finally done with your task and there are fucking conflicts in like almost every file you worked on...1
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Story!!!
I'm feeling very bad for the choice I make...
TLDR: I started looking for a new job, just because the salary wasn't enough. Talked with my boss, he agreed to raise it and I agreed to stay. Two weeks after that (today) I talked with him and told I will be leaving.
---
Starting January, just arriving of three weeks on vacation in another country to see my girlfriend, I started looking for my first house, to live with my girlfriend. Because of this future life (she arrives March 13th), I started to look for a new job which pays more. By now, I have worked there for the past three years.
At the end of January I found a house and had some good proposals, so I talked with my boss that it was possible for me to leave in the near future because I really needed the money, despite really liking to work there, so he made me a proposal to give me the increase I wanted (250€) and I agreed.
Just after that, I started calling the companies to say that I would not be available anymore. I usually try to be the most honest as possible with these things.
Past a week, I was talking face to face to a recruiter to say the same thing, but this time he increased his past proposal and showed me the company he wanted to send me; it was one of the unicorns of Portugal and with a really really great technology stack, and after convincing me that I could be wrong about the decision I had made (well... I recognize I can be wrong sometimes), I agreed to go in a meeting with the company.
Past Thursday I went there - Well... I was wrong. I really loved the culture of the company (the thing I most like in the one I'm right now), I would be working with a great technology stack, and having a really good salary.
Today I talked with my boss and said I will be leaving in April 23rd. He told me that didn't think it was right the way I handled this, because, if he knew with some antecedece, he wouldn't have made a proposal for a new development that only I could do (I did the analysis for it), and would be searching for a replacement sooner.
Right now I'm 22 years old, junior developer, going to live with my girlfriend in the next month, and the only one in the company who knows PHP with its stack (Linux, MySQL, Apache).
Before all of that I had a net salary of +- 750€, and it was increased to 950€ after the proposals, and in this new position it will be 1150€.
I don't know how to feel. People usually said that I have to start thinking a little bit more about myself (my bosses included) and I tried this adviced... :(10 -
Question for the ones who use a smartwatch: do you think the price (e.g.: 250€) is worth it?
I really like the idea of the facility of not having to pick the phone for some things, but I don't know if it is really that useful. What do you think?9 -
@dfox Quick feature request. Checking for duplicate comment or rant and hiding them. On erratic connections impatient coders like me press submit button multiple times making duplicate posts!10
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Manual EC2 instances + Elastic load balancer or Elastic beanstalk for a PHP 7 application? I might have some cron jobs to be run too...
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!rant;
I was just reading this article about the difference between Computer Science and Software Engineering and thought it could be of someone else interest. So here it is:
https://blog.usejournal.com/compute... -
It's finally weekend and I spent all night coding. Now I want to code more because I have so many ideas but my fucking eyes hurt!! C'mon eyes... recover faster!!5
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Updated Android on my phone and I was looking for a full minute where's my music app... to find it's now called "Samsung Music" -.- what a great idea...
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I don't understand the logic behind Linkedin messages where recruiters (or anyone else) write their name after "kind regards". It's not paper letter, their name and photo are clearly visible.5
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i feel like all the automated things, supposed to make development easier, just severely slow everything down3
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Hey! It's been a while that I've been searching about projects documentation in order to develop a template for the company's projects.
My goal at the moment is technical documentation, like getting started (for new developers), the project's dependencies, conventions, etc.
Does anyone have suggestions of articles, books, or any resources about that topic?
Edit: I'm planning to build this template, discuss it with the seniors and then present it to the managers.1 -
2020 goal
Shid and fard
Also some form of a biohack that makes sens in a day to day life, looking at the new spider man movie glasses rn1
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