FUCK WORDPRESS TO DEATH!

Seriously, I have a degree in computer science and I can't for the fucking lfie of it understand the fucking architecture of fucking WORDPRESS!

How many fucking times when developing fucking shitty wordpress sites for clients you spent 66% of the time debugging some stupid fucki9ng shit related to the retarded monolithic fucking stupid architecture of this huge retarded abomination which should be killed in a fire with dragonfire.

How many fucking times while using trellis sage bedrock mother fucking super uber framework bubblegum you find yourself struggling with the fgucking broweser shit sync or some other fucking stupid bubblegum fix shit to make wordpress even remotely a decent experience to work with?

Even when buffed with a fucking shitton of boilerplate shit code from people who want developers to not fucking kill themselves while working on this fucking piece of shit framework the developing experience with wordshit makes me want to blow my fucking brains out with a desert eagle.

I seriously can't fucking stress how fucking shit this whole framework is and I seriously hope people stop using it for good. Wordpress was made by a bunch of fucking retarded monkeys who barely knew how to write afucking hello world.

This is the last fuckign time Im ever going to accept a wordpress project from my clients this fucking framework has driven me mad for fu cking years and i've finally had it with thsi fucking piece of shit framework and i fucking hope it gets buried 1000 km down and never dug up ever fuckign again.

Wordpress is the single most fucking horrid abomination that has ever been created in the fucking history of the tech industry.

I. FUCKING. HATE. MOBILE. DEVELOPMENT.

I already manage the data, devops, infra, and most of the backend dev.

We had a mobile guy. He was great. I never had to think about it and kept moving quickly on my work. #SpecializationOfLaborFTW

He left. Why? Because they wouldn't give him a small raise despite being one of the best mobile engineers in the firm. WTF.

I made the mistake of picking up just enough slack on this workflow in the interim such that I'm, apparently, the fucking god-damned release manager, fixer of pipelines, fixer of build configs, fixer of anything where someone just needs to RTFM for a half-hour to not fucking break things.

Now, 8 months later...and, apparently, Fortune 500 companies are too fucking god-damned cheap to pay for someone who actually knows WTF they're doing for a very reasonable thing to have at least one dedicated set of eyes for.

I never wanted to be a mobile dev.
I never will want to be a mobile dev.
And I certainly don't want to manage your HALF-FACE-FUCKED detached expo configs.

There's a reason I never intentionally involved myself in mobile. All the way down, it's just shitty cross-compilation, transpilation, dependency-hell, brittle-as-fuck build processes so we can foot-gun and mouth-gun react-native and expo and babel and whatever the fuck else cargo-culted horseshit into the wild.

And why? What's the actual fucking root cause? The biggest white elephant that ever fucking elephant-ed? It's because Apple and Google decided to never collaborate on a truly-native cross-platform SDK--where engineers could write native code that compiles to native binaries that's simply write-once, run-everywhere. They know they could have done that, and they didn't. So what'd they get back? Expo--a too-cleverly-designed backdoor/hack--more-or-less a way to circumvent the sane release process software has usually followed: code -> executable -> deploy. Or code -> deploy (for interpreted langs). Expo's like "keep your same executable, we're just gonna to do updates by injecting new code into it whenever we want". Didn't we learn anything with web? Shit gets messy real quick? Not to mention: HEY EXPO, WE WERE ALREADY BUILDING NATIVE APPS, YOU SHORT-SIGHTED FUCKS. THANKS FOR LURING OUR CTOs INTO FORCING EXPO DOWN OUR THROATS W/ THE IMPLICIT (BUT INCORRECT) TOO-GOOD-TO-BE-TRUE PROMISE THAT WE CAN HAVE WRITE-ONCE, RUN-ANYWHERE WITHOUT ANY BUY-IN OR COOPERATION FROM THE ACTUAL TARGET PLATFORMS.

And, we just, like, accept this? We all know it's garbage engineering. The principles we learned in the classroom aren't just academic abstractions--they actually yield real-world results--and eschewing them yields real-world failures. Expo is tightly-coupled to high-heaven, with leaky abstractions six-ways-to-christmas, chock-full of foot-guns, and fails the most basic test of quality: does it, "just work?"

Expo is fucking shameful and it should fucking die. Its promises are too bold, its land-mines too many, its future-proof-ness is alway, always, always questionable as fuck and a risk to every project that uses it.

You want a rant? This is my fucking venue, 'tis not? Well, then this is a piss and vinegar rant straight from my blood-red, beating fucking heart:

EXPO FUCKING SUCKS. AND IF YOU'RE A FAN, YOU FUCKING SUCK TOO.

Newest addition to my desk (after reviewing code written by ex-coworker)

What is your opinion on piracy?

Hey DevRant!
I've been lurking for a few weeks now, and it bothered me that I couldn't like/dislike posts, so I finally decided to make an account. :D

I am currently a programming student, I'm in my third year. I started learning with C# but later I switched to Python, PHP and HTML5.

There's still many things I want to learn, this is just the beginning of my long, stressful yet rewarding life as a programmer. (:

Some of my coworkers call connecting with SSH "git bashing", because they use git bash for making ssh connections. 😋
They never understand me when I use the term "SSH". 😔

Monitor at the train station in Zwolle (the Netherlands) was showing this all day 😋

Attend all the meetings, they said. They're super important, they said. You'll get more code done if we hyper-report on progress they said. The bugs are piling up and we need to have even more meetings, they said.

STOP SAYING THINGS AT ME AND LET ME FUCKING CODE YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNTS.

What do you use LinkedIn for?

When I was in school I was told that programmers need a LinkedIn profile! So I made one, and connected to all my classmates and to this day still connect with my coworkers and other people I meet.

The platform itself is just full of people posting their accomplishments, but written out in way too long stories. Also a bunch of people share random articles I couldn't care less about.

At least once a week I get a network request from a recruiter, and from what I hear that's considered not very often. The recruiters always offer me a shitty job at a shitty place.

The whole platform feels like one big circlejerk with people bragging about their large network.

So what's the point of LinkedIn? Does anyone actually take jobs from annoying recruiters?

My worst experience was at my job where they told me I have to move to a permanent position from 3 years of contracting without a specific offer.
Why is that bad? In my country it means approximatly 40% lower wage.
I came into the job with PHP knowledge when they were looking for Perl on a project one year behind schedule. I learned the language and finished working demo in 6 weeks.
After that, every project that was ever assigned to me was done within 5-15% of the allocated time. I'm not kidding here. My manager loved be, because I was reliable, fast and I even 'accidentaly' solved other problems, like for instance I developed simple syslog search tool and benchmarked zip algos for reading speed, and the fastest had 70% better compression than the algo used before (gzip into plzip on 1-2gb files). That solved anothet problem - syslog servers did not have enough disk space and they didn't have money to upgrade the server.
The number of projects I touched or developed was over 20.
I also lead and developed our team's most successful tool, that every customer was throwing money to buy, while cutting down costs everywhere.
And after three years of that, my manager says that there are no more money for contractors. And the only possibility is going for employment. Without any specific offer! Just 'we cant do this anymore'.
Which I understand, that can happen in corporation, but ffs after all I've done, I expected warmer attitude. Not like 'you may have to leave, since we do not really care'.
I liked the people there, even though the corporation environment was lacking in many respects, but I wanted to help our local branch with everything I could and they gave up on me like that.
So I started looking elsewhere and I found a startup which offered 6 times the money I had in my previous job and promises to relocate me to USA. Which is the best thing that has happened to me that year and second best in my whole life!

When I was 20, I coded for 24 hours straight, even ate at the computer, as a dare to finish all the tasks in one go. I was successful.
Now I'm 25 and I have no time for such stuff. Kinda miss that

Got offered a project to develop e-commerce site. Bespoke. E-commerce. Sage pay. CMS. 4 days. When I said it's basically impossible, got told that the company was offered the same solution by an Indian developer but in 2 days, so it shouldn't be a problem to do it in 4.

I'm gonna start using this

I like how devs keep on shitposting Windows rants, but never switch to Linux.

Windows will never get better, you have to give it up :)

Why the hell does every single frontend job on Earth require expert knowledge of React, a fad JS library that will be forgotten in 5 years?

For extra credit: when was the sage advice of "keep content, appearance, and behavior separate" overruled in favor of "use JavaScript for literally everything"? Have I been in a coma for the past 3 years?

Look, I understand the appeal of separating code into repeatable components. I just don't understand why essentially the same thing can't be accomplished with vanilla JS, which is ten times easier to understand and doesn't require an entire website to be written in some make-believe offshoot of Ecmascript that will look like hieroglyphics a decade from now.

There are also seemingly no positions that offer people a platform to start applying React to real world scenarios. I've seen the "understand React in 5 minutes" articles. Wow, super cool, you used 30 lines of JavaScript to render a "Hello world" div. The possibilities are truly endless.

But seriously, how does this shit work? Where do I go to learn the mystical art of offloading every single one of a website's responsibilities to JavaScript? How do I use React to build an actual functioning website, and at what point will it save me time or increase my productivity instead of just pissing me off?

The only thing more dangerous than an alcoholic short-term-memory-challenged non-technical throw-you-under-the-bus IT director with self-esteem issues that are sporadically punctuated by delusions of superiority is one who fears for his job. Submitted for your inspection: a besotted mass of near-human brain function who not only has a 50 person IT department to run, but has also been questioned by the business owners as to what he actually does. So he has decided to show them. He has purchased a vendor product to replace a core in-house developed application used to facilitate creating the product the business sells. The purchased software only covers about 40 percent of the in-house application's functionality, so he is contracting with the vendor to perform custom development on the purchased product (at a cost likely to be just shy of six-figures) so that about 90 percent of existing functionality will be covered. He has asked one of his developers (me) to scale down the existing software to cover the functionality gaps the purchased software creates. There is no deployment plan that will allow the business to transition from the current software to the new vendor​-supplied one without significantly hurting the ability of the business to function. When anyone raises this issue he dismisses it with sage musings such as, "I know it will be painful, but we'll just have to give the users really good support." Because he has no idea what any of his staff actually does, he is expecting one of his developers (again, unfortunately, me) to work with the vendor so that the Frankensoftware will perform as effectively as the current software (essentially as a project manager since there will be no in-house coding involved). Lastly, he refuses to assign someone to be responsible for the software: taking care of maintenance, configuration, and issue resolutions after it has been rolled out. When I pointedly tell him I will not be doing that (because this is purchased software and I am not a system admin or desktop engineer) he tells me, "Let me think about this." The worst part is that this is only one of four software replacement initiatives he is injecting himself into so he can prove his worth to the business owners. And by doing so he is systematically making every software development initiative akin to living in Dante's Eighth Circle. I am at the point where I want to burn my eye out with a hot poker, pour salt into the wound, and howl to the heavens in unbearable agony for a month, so when these projects come to fruition, and I am suffering the wrath of the business owners, I can look back on that moment I lost my eye and think "good times."

Our company is restructuring and our CTO offered me the lead architect role. I'm currently the dev manager for about 40 guys and girls. I was delighted.

So, because I believe people make shit up in the absence of information, I called my seniors in to explain the possible restructure. To my surprise (and shock), they dropped the following pearl on me...

If they had to report to anyone else, they're going to leave the company.

I tried to convince them that one of them can apply for my role, also no.

Don't get me wrong, I love my team and do feel flattered about their response. But I also feel a bit trapped/confused now. I've spent the last 6 years building and protecting the team from 5 guys. And frankly, I'm tired and just get back to focusing on coding.

Any sage advice?

Was having a Good day , My code was compiling, Android Studio did find the fucking 'R' In his goddamn libraries and eventually got my strong coffee by my desk.
Suddenly i'm hit up with one of Noob friends saying that he installed Windows on His MacBook Air...
My ears and eyes starting bleeding and all that came in my mind was why the heck did you do this, why the heck did you coat your Chocolate truffle with the fucking Mud. Why didn't you just hammered the keyboard and the screen before doing . I had to sleep after this and all that i saw in my dreams was fucking apples and windows.
Please for God's sake don't do this , wouldn't be a sin more deep than this one

I had a 4 day weekend and haven't programmed at all. 😅 Been playing games and hanging out with friends 😋.

for( i = 0; i < 10; i++ ){}

Please, can someone explain the term "enterprise" to me. I work in a corporation, I hear it twice a week, I develop it, and still have no idea what it means.

Honestly, I spent years trying to make the most out of every functionality that the languages provided... After 7 years of that, last 3 I only use the most basic things and I can say: it is far superior to keep things simple. I'm making deadlines in a third of expected time, debugging is a piece of cake, and adding new features usually takes about 5 minutes thanks to very simple and straightforward design.
TL;DR: Keep It Simple Stupid
#kiss #suckless

When your classmates come to you for help

Do you really have to be a sociopath to be a good corporate employee or is it just me?

"Do it right do it light..do it wrong do it long"

My old peewee football coache's sage advice on the pitfalls of technical debt..

WHY WOULD A LICENSE WORK FOR A BACKUP SOFTWARE ONCE, AND THEN NOT BE RECOGNIZED?!

I haaaaaaaaate shoddy license management.

Oh and Sage is an awful company with terrible software as well.

My first ever dev project was a website I setup with my dad, it was for my uncle's company. 😃

You can barely call it a dev project because we did it in WordPress and the only thing we touched was a bit of HTML and a bunch of CSS 😅,
but it was really fun working together with my (programmer) dad and it motivated me to study programming as well.

The site turned out ugly as fuck, but the standards for websites are very low where my uncle is from so that wasn't a problem. 😊

I earned 90€ and bought myself a new mouse (Logitech G502), which I still use now 4/5 years later. 😎

Nothing but love for my coworker;
but my coworker (who's a fellow programmer for at least 3 years) thought the `continue` statement in a `foreach` literally meant to keep going with the code.

He was confused his code after the continue didn't run. xD

The team in our office was forced to have, and I'm not kidding, TWO hours long agile meetings EVERY day. That's right, only 6 hours a day for work. Crazy managers

*Sitting in sql course*

Professor: "So today we are talking about normalization which will make our tables much more efficient and easier to understand."

Me: (In my head) "Sounds useful!"

Professor: "First we will start with UNF or un-normalized form"

*Professor shows example on projector*

Example:
"UNF: Student ( name, sAge, , college_name {COURSEID, cname. descCourse C# }]"

*Frustration begins to take hold as I play where's waldo*

Head of department is building a bitcoin rig with my manager friday afternoon in his office using tools from the IT one month after degrading me publicly and giving me an official warning in writing to respect working hours so cutting me off from my bonuses and promotions.

I'd like to locally encrypt files before syncing it with the cloud; what's the "best" software available for this?

I'm currently switching to STACK as my cloud service (it's a file hosting service for Dutch people that offers 1TB of free storage).
But I don't feel fully comfortable with them having access to all my personal data.

So I came to the conclusion that it would be best to locally encrypt files before syncing it with STACK. I DuckDuckGo'd but there seems to be a lot of software available for this so I'm not sure which one to use.

Which one could you recommend me? I'd prefer a free software but I'm okay with paying as long as it isn't too expensive.

Is it better to buy a cheap laptop and work by remote connecting to a powerful PC, or to just buy a powerful laptop?

context:
I like playing video games, I also sometimes program using Visual Studio + Unity which is also pretty heavy. Because of this I know I need a powerful machine.

my thoughts:
Now I could buy a "gaming" laptop, It's portable (useful for LAN-parties) but it's expensive and doesn't last as long as a PC.

I could also buy a powerful PC with a cheap used laptop, I could do most work on this laptop and if I need to do something more powerful I could remote to my PC.
But this would require internet at all times and i'm worried that working over remote might not be the smoothest experience.

So Vivo made a bezeless phone this time
But guess what its again gonna contain a fucking kazillion Megapixel Selfie camera with Mars Light Flash to make you look Unique paired with a shit mediatek Processor.
Also,
They have got stones from krypton and their next phone is gonna have krypton light flash just so the fuckin superman can't use that just because they partnered with marvel to get infinity stones so that they can use them in their later phones as a light for the selfie flash.
Guess what? Thanos preodered it ..
Well Played Vivo

It's only August but I already know what I'll be thankful for come Thanksgiving:
1. Our next president.
2. Integration tests.

I recently purchased a new laptop, so I needed some stickers for it.
Luckily I was still able to request some free devrant stickers. (:

My devRant swag and some other stickers I ordered all arrived in the past week.

Pic related

it's 5.30 AM
im tired
i want sleep
but got to work

I just built PHP 7 with pthreads... from my phone. I can't believe how far we got with the technology

the ugly pixelated characters probably resemble y'all much better than the old ones. 😂

any of you guys listen to programming-related podcasts? 🎧
I recently came across "Syntax", a podcast on web development. They cover pretty basic stuff but I still find it interesting.
Would love to know if there are any other podcasts on programmin 🙂

I'm new in the programming world; when I need to learn something new I generally look at documentation and articles to get an understanding of the basics.
Then, if it's still interesting to me, I just try it out.

Sometimes I might ask a fellow more experienced programmer or a teacher to explain it to me.

I saw this piece of code, one of my colleagues at work wrote it.
The content in in the function also had 0 comments.
Sorry for posting this here co-worker but it sincerely bothered me.

// Delete all
function deleteAllFunction(){
...
}

Can we get auto-play gifs?

Testing out VR without your own VR equipment is a pain.
The glasses are not much of a problem, since you can first develop using the google cardboard SDK and test it with your phone.

It's the controllers that are a pain to test. Luckily vrtk made something that simulates the controllers, which can be controlled with the keyboard.

The controls are very uncomfortable, this is not their fault; you can't really emulate movement easily with a keyboard.

That feeling when anything you do in any platform can be done in Javascript and most likely there already is a library for it

Fuck companies that want you to build new systems that are a superset of what they already have when they can't even tell you what they have now. Fuck you with your bullshit, nonsensical, self-contradicting, third-assed diagrams--some half-UML, half-clip-art, half-pie-chart drivel. If you're the CTO of a company and you want me to think long and hard about rebuilding your distributed systems, you can think long and hard about expressing what you already have. And NO: a verbal explanation pow-pow WebEx over your DSL connection with your protege that mumbles worse than an Atlantan rapper doesn't count as fucking "knowledge transfer" of your fucking architecture, FOR FUCKS SAKE.

When you automatically reach for the WASD keys on any keyboard...

I was that bored at work today I actually started working.

Why are you paying me to architect your new stack if you're just going to mandate that I use Guice and Jersey "because that's what you're using already"? I'm sorry. You're wrong. Spring Boot is not a "dying technology". I'm not going to build you a servlet from scratch. Get fukt.

Sometimes I compute so much that I feel like I cannot relate to most humans.

Sage
Pick any sage software...

On vacation at the beach and for some reason I still have code on my mind.

Sage ERP. Makes me angry when I use it

My fellow worker adds amazing method names in JS:
makeDataTablePagingMuchMoreComfortableIfNeeded
arraysHaveObjectsWithSameAttributes

Our corporate office is forcing us to migrate to SAGE ERP today.

Need I say more?

#fmlfriday

I get so tired of people hating on PHP, Javascript and promoting Python or C#/Java.

Python is basically Perl with slightly different syntax plus has py2/py3 issues. And suffers from pip like js does from npm.

Java/C# started as application languages, while PHP started in web servers (again from Perl but at least it now has full object support). So comparing apples and oranges is one thing.

Another one is that people don't seem to know much about PHP / js (and tbh not even about the languages they are promoting) when they try to hate. That just comes off as lazy and borderline idiotic. Don't be that guy.

If you have had a bad experience, maybe you need to open the documentation instead of copying code from stack overflow.
Again, lazy and unprofessional.

Devs are supposed to be able to find the most efficient solution, that takes as little code as possible, not as little time from them when they arent familiar with the subject.

Damn Im angry right now, this rant really worked me up! :D

Inheriting an ejected react-native expo app is cancer.

String good =
"I'll never give up type systems!!"
+ " Do you hear me?!"
+ " Never!";

bad =
"Can't believe it made it all the way into prod."
% NaN + 3 / '11'

I’m sorry girls but I can’t trust y’all 🤷‍♂️. Periodt.

Also, who wants to get a hot dog with me rn. Im fucking starving my goober gabb off, I feel like a sage fasting for the sake of personal holyness, but like fuck that I’m zooted and I need a dog.

I absolutely hate Sage, it's like getting stabbed repeated to then discover the previous stabbing didn't actually do anything so you have to get stabbed again, like why can I not just export a whole ledger at once? Why do I have to do it a page at a fucking time?

Why can't I post pictures too? 😮