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A couple of years ago, I was working in a computer shop as a "technician", I was 15, first job I ever had.
One day an elderly lady came into the shop, probably 50'ish, she and her whole family "suffered" from electromagnetic radiation, and the mother had the worst suffering. She complained about her TV box that just had died.
I accept the tuner and see it's wrapped with 10 layers of aluminium foil, with a tiny hole for the IR receiver.
The whole box smells like burnt electronics, and the foil gets darker for each layer I unwrap. I try explain to her that the box gets warm and overheated by wrapping it like this, and she's lucky that it didn't catch fire.
I further explain to her that she will not get a new box, because the warranty does not cover _this_. The mother tells me she has to wrap it like this, because she gets headaches when she's watching the news.
She then proceeds to go into a rage mode and gets her whole family into the shop, where all of them starts yelling at me, the younger kids start throwing stuff down from the shelves and touching the TVs with sticky fingers (literally, sticky, like yuck!).
Unsure what to do, boss is in a meeting, and my colleague is busy in the back.
So I calmly tell them that in this building there's 4 wireless networks, 3 wireless phones, high voltage cables run in the wall behind me, there's factory tracks 20 meters behind the building, next door business is an electrician, you're standing in front of wall with 30-40 TVs, 5 HDMI splitters, 3 TV boxes and a Blu-ray player. And they've all been standing in front of them for the last 10 minutes.
They all suddenly feel really sick and run out of the store, never to be seen again. From that day, I decided I'll never work in a shop again, and pursued my dreams to become a developer.
TL;DR: Family is "sensitive" to electromagnetic radiation, almost put burnt down their house because of stupidity, yelled at me. I decided to pursue my dream as a developer.16 -
Lead engineer: "Well, uh... I haven't really prepared a test for you but the HR insists that I should test you before wrapping up this interview.. so uh.... what do you suggest we should do now?"
Me: "Um... how about we walk through my latest project code and you can ask me to optimize it?"
Lead engineer: "Sounds cool, allright let's do that. How much time do you need?"
Welp. Did I just pick my own interview question?5 -
So I'm working on a computer vision project that grabs video from my webcam and detects faces in each frame. Earlier yesterday morning I was capping out at 30 frames per second, which is what I believe to be the max for my webcam. As the day became night and I was wrapping up my work on a portion of the project, I noticed that my newly compiled version was only getting around 8 frames per second. Confused, I looked into my frame grabbing + face detection code.
"Maybe I can only detect faces in a certain region of the image, based on where the face was in the previous image?" No, still 8fps. Hmm.
"How about I lower the resolution of the image, that would definitely help!" I tried that, but no speed boost came either. What??
I start to dig deeper. Maybe I'm not linking my libraries correctly, and it's using an older library I compiled. So I recompile that. Nothing.
"Am I low on resources?" I close out of all my other apps. Nothing.
Okay, wtf. Now I just comment out the face detection code entirely, and only grab webcam frames.
8fps. ?????
Suddenly, I get an idea. I get out of my desk, walk over to the doorway of my room, and flip the light on. I sit back down, and run my code.
30fps.
The stupid webcam switches to "night mode" when it detects low light, which restricts its ability to output frames at high speed and caps at 8fps. Damn, I felt like a fool 😂5 -
A sidebar.
Literally just a sidebar.
And yes, this was in Hell.
Its code was spread across at least 40 files, and it used a bunch of freaking global variables to unfurl accordion sections, hide other sections/items, highlight the active item, etc. These were set (and unset!) in controller actions, so if you didn’t unset one, it remained open and highlighted until another action unset it.
Some of the global variable checks (and permissions checks) were done in the individual views, some outside of the `render` statements that include them. Some of them inherited variables from the parent, some from the controller, some from globals. Getting a view to work was trial and error. Oh, and some had their own inline css, some used css classes.
Subsections were separate views, so were some individual items, both sometimes rendered using shared templates, and all of the views and templates had the exact. same. filename. (They were located in different directories, and thus located automagically via implicit relative paths.) So, it was a virtually endless parade of`render partial => “sidebar”`. Which file does that point to? Good luck figuring it out!
Also, comments in several places said adding a new section required a database migration. I never did figure out why.
Anyway, I discovered this because I had an innocuous-sounding ticket to rearrange the sidebar, group some sections/items under different permissions, move some items to another menu, and nest some others differently.
It took me two bloody weeks, and this was when I was extremely productive every day.
Afterward, I was so disgusted by it that I took a day and removed every trace of the sidebar I could find, and rewrote it. I defined the sidebar in a hash, and wrote a simple recursive builder to generate the markup. It supported optional icons, n-level nesting, automatic highlighting of the current item and all parent nodes, compound and inherited permissions, wrapping of long names, hover and unfurl animations, etc. Took me a couple hundred lines of Ruby at the most, plus about the same of css.
Felt so good to remove that blight.5 -
Ok, so I don't work yet and so I've never had to deal with any clients but based on the rants i have read this is how stupid I imagine most of them are.
Dev: Hey, would you like a chocolate bar?
Client: Yeah, sure.
Dev: here:
*hands chocolate bar over*
*client holds it in his hands, opens it and eats it*
Client: Tastes great
Dev: Ok, nice. So about the payment of the project...
*Clients face is swollen and he falls to the ground*
Dev: uhh, what are you doing?
Client *coughing*: Were.. were there nuts in the chocolate bar?
Dev: uhmm, yes. didn't you look at it?
Client: why didn't you tell me??!?!?!? I am allergic to nuts!!
Dev: uhh, I didn't know that. But srsly, did you not look at the wrapping of the fucking chocolate bar??!
Client: I am going to sue you!! You will go to prison!
Dev: Fuck off *leaves the room*
Image of the chocolate bar:
5 -
Prologue
My dad has an acquaintance - let's call him Tom. Tom is an gynecologist, one of the best in Poznań, where I live. He's a great guy but absolutely can not into tech of any kind besides his iPhone and basic PC usage. For about a year now I've been doing small jobs for him - build a new PC for his office, fix printer, fix wifi, etc. He has made a big mistake few years ago by trusting a guy, let's call him Shitface, with crating him software for work. It's supposed to be pretty simple piece of code in which you can create and modify patient file, create prescription from drugs database and such things. This program is probably one of the worst pierces of code I've ever seen and Shitface should burn for that. Worse, this guy is pretentious asshole lacking even basic IT knowledge. His code is garbage and it's taking him few months to make small changes like text wrapping. But wait, there's more. Everything is hardcoded so every PC using this software must have installed user controls for which he doesn't have license and static IP address on network card.
Part 1
Tom asked me to build him a new PC that will be acting like a server for Shitface's program. He needs it in Kalisz (around 150 km from my place). I Agred (pun intended) and after Tom brought me his old computer I've bought parts and built a new one. I have also copied everything of value and everything took me around three hours.
Part 2
Everything was ready but Shitface's program. I didn't know much about it's configuration so when I've noticed that it's not working even on the old PC I got a bit worried. Nevertheless I started breaking everything I know about it and after next three hours I've got it somewhat working. Seeing that there's still some problems with database connection (from Windows' Event Viewer) I wrote quick SMS to Shitface asking what can be wrong. He replied that he won't be able to help me any way until Monday (day after deadline). I got pissed and very courteously asked him for source code because some of libraries used in this project has license that requires either purchase of commercial license or making code open source. He replied within few minutes that he'll be able to connect remotely within next 10 minutes. He was trying to make it work for the next hour but he succeeded. It was night before deadline so I wrapped everything up and went to bed thinking that it won't take me more than an hour to get this new PC up and running in the office. Boy was I wrong.
Also, curious about his code, I've checked source and he is using beautiful ponglish (mixed Polish and English) with mistakes he couldn't even bother to fix. For people from Poland, here's an example:
TerminarzeController.DeleteTerminarzShematyDlaLekarza
Part 3
So I drove to Kalisz and started working on making everything work. Almost everything was ready so after half an hour I was done. But I wanted to check twice if it's all good because driving so far second time would be a pain. So I started up Shitface's program, logged in, tried to open ANYTHING and... KABUM. UNHANDLED EXCEPTION. WTF. I checked trace and for fuck sake something was missing. Keep in mind that then I didn't know he's using some third party control for Windows Forms that needs to be installed on client PC. After next fifteen minutes of googling I've found a solution. I just had to install this third party software and everything will work. But... It had to be exactly this version and it was old. Very old. So old that producent already removed all traces of its existence from their web page and I couldn't find it anywhere. I tried installing never version and copying files from old PC but it didn't work. After few hours of searching for a solution I called Mr Shitface asking him for this control installation file. He told me that he has it but will be able to send it my way in the evening. Resigned I asked for this new PC to be left turned on and drove home. When he sent me necessary files I remotely installed them and everything started working correctly.
So, to sum it up. Searching for parts and building new PC, installing OS and all necessary software, updating everything and configuring it for Tom taste took me around what, 1/3 of time I spent on installing Mr Shitface's stupid program which Tom is not even happy with. Gotta say it was one of worst experiences I had in recent months. Hope I won't have to see this shit again.
Epilogue
Fortunately everything seems to work correctly. Tom hasn't called me yet with any problems. Mission accomplished. I wanna kill very specific someone. With. A. Spoon.1 -
First day at new job yesterday, and it was really enjoyable, it's nice to be at a place that is actually competent at software development. I actually have people I can turn to who are tons more experienced than me.
Aside from the usual orienteering, I spent my time examining their existing systems and wrapping my head around the project I'll be working on for my trial period.
People seem friendly, coffee is good, they know what they're doing, willing to experiment and try new things, and I will get a free mac book pro as an employee.
Hope I get this.3 -
Once i found a legacy code where the old dev avoided the execution of some lines by wrapping them with a
if (1 == 0) {...}6 -
[Little perspective: For the last 7 months I'm working in a certain project.]
[The project is full of unimaginative, non-creative devs with 0 initiative and poor technical background.]
[And they're almost all from one country which you all can figure out.]
[But I'm not going to mention it here because I don't want to come up as a racist]
[So there's US (Europeans) and THEM. 3 of US and about 10 of THEM. And we're doing 90% of all the heavy lifting]
---
Yesterday
---
D (Dev from THEM): Hi S, I have a problem with my task
Me: (sighing) Ok let's have a call
* on the call with D we were checking some stuff loosely related to task *
* code wouldn't get invoked at all for some reason *
* suddenly I realize that even if the code would invoke, D's probably doing everything wrong in it anyway *
Me (thinking): I need to double check something.
Me: I can't help you now, I'll get back to you later.
* call ended *
---
Me: Hey J, I need your help, I need to clarify the work package in my mind, because I am no longer sure.
J (my European TL): Ok, fire away.
* call started *
Me: Is it true that [blahblahblah] and so D's task depends on me completing first my task, or am I losing my mind?
J: That is correct.
Me: Well she's trying to do this in [that] way, which is completely wrong.
J: You see, that's how it is in this project, you do refinements with them, split these work packages to tasks, mention specifically what depends on what and what order should things be taken in, and in some cases all tasks from given user stories should be done by one person entirely... But they do it their way anyway, assign different people to different interdependent tasks, and these people don't even understand the big picture and they try to do the things the way they think they understand them.
Me: It's a fire in a brothel.
J: Yup.
Me: I fucking love this project.
J: (smiling silently)
* call ended *
---
Me: Ok D, you can't do your task because it's dependant on my task.
D: Oh... so what do I do?
Me: I don't know, do something else until I do my task.
---
A (THEIR TL) (Oh, did I forget to mention that there are 2 TLs in this project? THEY have their own. And there are 2 PMs as well.)
A: Hey S, I need to talk
Me: (sighing, getting distracted from work again) Ok let's have a call
* call started *
A: S, we need this entire work package done by Friday EOD.
Me: I can't promise, especially since there are several people working on its several tasks.
A: D's working on hers for 3 days already, and she's stuck. We want you to take over.
Me: (sighing, thinking "great"): Ok.
* call ended *
---
Me: Hey D, A instructed me to take over your task. This is actually going to be easier since you'd have to wait for mine after all.
D: Oh, ok.
---
* I switched the Assigned Person on D's task to myself on Azure *
---
This morning, email from D.
"Hey, I completed my task and it's on [this] branch, what do I do now?"
........................................
Me, hesitating between 2 ways to reply:
(and take note there are people in CC: A, J, P - the last one is THEIR PM)
1) "Hi, Unfortunately you'd still have to wait for my changes because your task is dependent on my task - the column to be changed is in the table that I am introducing and it's not merged to develop branch yet. By the way I already did your task locally, as I was instructed to do it, I'm wrapping things up now."
(y'know: the response which is kind, professional, understanding; without a slight bit of impatience)
2) WHAT FUCKING PART OF "DON'T DO THIS I WILL FUCKING DO IT MYSELF GO HOME JUST GO HOME" YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND
4 -
I am being asked to support Internet Explorer 8 on this project I am wrapping up. The front-end has been developed using AngularJS 2.23
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I've optimised so many things in my time I can't remember most of them.
Most recently, something had to be the equivalent off `"literal" LIKE column` with a million rows to compare. It would take around a second average each literal to lookup for a service that needs to be high load and low latency. This isn't an easy case to optimise, many people would consider it impossible.
It took my a couple of hours to reverse engineer the data and implement a few hundred line implementation that would look it up in 1ms average with the worst possible case being very rare and not too distant from this.
In another case there was a lookup of arbitrary time spans that most people would not bother to cache because the input parameters are too short lived and variable to make a difference. I replaced the 50000+ line application acting as a middle man between the application and database with 500 lines of code that did the look up faster and was able to implement a reasonable caching strategy. This dropped resource consumption by a minimum of factor of ten at least. Misses were cheaper and it was able to cache most cases. It also involved modifying the client library in C to stop it unnecessarily wrapping primitives in objects to the high level language which was causing it to consume excessive amounts of memory when processing huge data streams.
Another system would download a huge data set for every point of sale constantly, then parse and apply it. It had to reflect changes quickly but would download the whole dataset each time containing hundreds of thousands of rows. I whipped up a system so that a single server (barring redundancy) would download it in a loop, parse it using C which was much faster than the traditional interpreted language, then use a custom data differential format, TCP data streaming protocol, binary serialisation and LZMA compression to pipe it down to points of sale. This protocol also used versioning for catchup and differential combination for additional reduction in size. It went from being 30 seconds to a few minutes behind to using able to keep up to with in a second of changes. It was also using so much bandwidth that it would reach the limit on ADSL connections then get throttled. I looked at the traffic stats after and it dropped from dozens of terabytes a month to around a gigabyte or so a month for several hundred machines. The drop in the graphs you'd think all the machines had been turned off as that's what it looked like. It could now happily run over GPRS or 56K.
I was working on a project with a lot of data and noticed these huge tables and horrible queries. The tables were all the results of queries. Someone wrote terrible SQL then to optimise it ran it in the background with all possible variable values then store the results of joins and aggregates into new tables. On top of those tables they wrote more SQL. I wrote some new queries and query generation that wiped out thousands of lines of code immediately and operated on the original tables taking things down from 30GB and rapidly climbing to a couple GB.
Another time a piece of mathematics had to generate all possible permutations and the existing solution was factorial. I worked out how to optimise it to run n*n which believe it or not made the world of difference. Went from hardly handling anything to handling anything thrown at it. It was nice trying to get people to "freeze the system now".
I build my own frontend systems (admittedly rushed) that do what angular/react/vue aim for but with higher (maximum) performance including an in memory data base to back the UI that had layered event driven indexes and could handle referential integrity (overlay on the database only revealing items with valid integrity) or reordering and reposition events very rapidly using a custom AVL tree. You could layer indexes over it (data inheritance) that could be partial and dynamic.
So many times have I optimised things on automatic just cleaning up code normally. Hundreds, thousands of optimisations. It's what makes my clock tick.4 -
As a consultant, you get tasked with a variety of stuff. Last few weeks been struggling to maintain an old C++ application that was written by a complete tool of an a$$hole with zero knowledge on how to write maintainable and production quality code. It would hardly run without a crash. First it was a challenge I had to accept, but as I stabilized the code and just fell over even more traps, I had to admit defeat and review my approach.
Rewrite is something I would choose last, but this one ticked all the marks worthy of a rewrite. So, the customer is a very friendly researcher and gladly spent 15 hours with me explaining all the math and concepts - just a delight for a programmer to have such a customer. Two days in, with a DDD approach - a functional, more precise, faster and stable application.
Sometimes there is no rant to share, it's rare to have that perfect communication with a customer that is so dedicated that he spends so much time teaching you his speciality and actually understand your approach. DDD was really a lifesaver here, by using it's key concepts and ubiquitous language. The program is essentially 8000 lines of math, but wrapping it up with value objects and strong domain models made me understand his domain and him mine. It also allowed me to parallelize the computations, giving me a huge performance boost. Textbook approach, there will not be many like this!4 -
Oh null, how I detest you.
select birthdate, isnull(birthdate) from Users;
>> [null, 0]
Maybe I wrongfully accuse the abstract concept, and should rather loathe the engineers who can't wrap their heads around null despite their heads being a skull literally wrapping fucking nothingness.
Oracle engineers:
"Wait that's invalid input. What do we do?"
"Default the date to 0000-00-00?"
"That kind of looks like a null..."
"Hmm but it isn't *really* a full-on, butt-clenching, hardcore, intrinsic, I-can-taste-it-in-the-air null"
"Yeah not really feeling it either. It's not giving me the typical null-goosebumps."
"Oh, I know! Let's make it a pretend-null, where the actual type totally depends on the layer of the application!"
"Yeah developers love ambiguous random conversions!"4 -
This is something I'll never forget.
I'm a senior UI engineer. I was working at a digital agency at the time and got tasked with refactoring and improving an existing interface from a well known delivery company.
I open the code and what do I find? Indentation. But not in the normal sense. The indentation only went forward, randomly returning a bunch of tabs back in the middle of the file a few times, but never returning to its initial level after closing a tag or function, both on HTML and JS.
Let that sink in for a minute and try to imagine what it does to your editor with word wrapping (1 letter columns), and without (absurd horizontal scrolling).
Using Sublime at the time, ctrl+shift+P, reindent. Everything magically falls beautifully into place. Refactor the application, clean up the code, document it, package it and send it back (zip files as they didn't want to provide version control access, yay).
The next day, we get a very angry call from the client saying that their team is completely lost. I prove to the project manager that my code is up to scratch, running fine, no errors, tested, good performance. He returns to the client and proves that it's all correct (good PM with decent tech knowledge).
The client responds with "Yeah, the code is running, but our team uses tabs for version control and now we lost all versioning!".
Bear in mind this was in 2012, git was around for 7 years then, and SVN and Mercury much longer.
I then finally understood the randomness of the tabs. The code would go a bunch of tabs back when it went back to a previous version, everything above were additions or modifications that joined seamlessly with the previous version before, with no way to know when and so on.
I immediately told the PM that was absurd, he agreed, and told the client we wouldn't be reindenting everything back for them according to the original file.
All in all, it wasn't a bad experience due to a competent PM, but it left a bad taste in my mouth to know companies have teams that are that incompetent, and that no one thought to stop and say "hey, this may cause issues down the line".4 -
I see too many back-end rants against front-ends.
Should we talk about table layouts, malformed html, programatically generated spaghetti wrong markup, css absurd class naming, infinite div wrapping (div-itis), awful usability, poor legibility, terrible typography, wrong color palettes and user-unfriedly design? To name a few horrors i've seen so far.
Some people won't admit that their contempt against HTML and CSS being 'not real code' actually hides their inability or unwillingness to learn it. Or they need the feeling of superiority.11 -
Oh man. I have been waiting for this one. Gather round lil' chil'rens it's story time.
So. I was looking for a new project because my old one was wrapping up and that's what my company does. So I was offered some simulation type stuff. I was like "sure why not, I want to make a computer pretend it isn't a computer no more." Side note I should not be a psychiatrist.
So, prior to coming on to this job I felt stifled by my old job's process. This job was a smaller team so I thought the process would be a little smoother. But it turned out they had NO process. Like they had a bug tracking system and they held the meeting to add things to the system, but that was just fucking lip service to a process.
First of all, they used the local disk on the test box as their version control. and had no real scheme as to how they organized it. We had a CM tool but gods forbid they ever fucking use it. I would be handed problem reports and interface change requests, write a bug to track it, go into the code and about 75% of the time or more it had already been worked. However, there was no record of it being worked and I would have to fucking hunt that shit down in a terribly shitty baseline (standardize your gods damned indentation for fuck's sake) and half the time only found out it was done because when I finally located the piece of code that needed changing, the work was already done.
Then, on top of all that, they ask me what time I want to come in. I said 10am, they said okay. One day I roll in at 10 and my boss is mad. Because I missed a meeting. That was at 9. That I wasn't told about. He says I can keep coming in at 10am though (I asked and volunteered to help get him up to speed on the things I was working he said it wasn't necessary) so I did, but every time I missed a 9am meeting he would get pissed. I'm like PICK ONE!!! They move the meeting to 9:30am (which is not 10am).
This shit starts affecting my health negatively. Stress is apt to do that. It triggered an anxiety relapse that pushed me back in to therapy for the first time in 7 years. On top of that the air quality in the office is so bad that I am getting back to back sinus infections and I get put on heavy antibiotics that tear up my stomach along with the stress and new meds tearing up my stomach. So one day as I am laid out in pain, I call out sick. Two days in a row. (Such a heinous crime right.) Well I missed a test event, that I wasn't even the primary or secondary on.
So fast forward to the most pissed off I have ever been. I get called in to a meeting with my boss's boss. As it turns out, my coworkers are not satisfied by the work that I'm doing (funny because I thought I was doing pretty good given that my only direction was fix the interface change reports and problem reports. And there was no priority assigned to any of them).
And rather than tell me any of this, they go behind my back to the boss and boss's boss. They tell me I need to communicate (which I did) and ask for help when I need it (I never did). That I missed an important event (that I played no part in and gods forbid I be sick) and that it seemed like I didn't want to be there (I didn't but who WANTS to work a corporate job).
They put me on a performance improvement plan and I jumped to another project. I am much happier now. Old coworkers won't even say hi, not even those I was friendly with, but fuck them anyway.5 -
So I'm wrapping up for the day and right before I leave a coworker comes up to me with a problem. Our company uses barcodes to track some of our products through their development and we recently switched over to a new system for producing them. The barcodes for this particular product are supposed to have 8 digits, but the last 200 we printed have 9.
I immediately panic because I wrote the script that generates the bar codes and there had been a bug in the past where the script would add extra leading zeroes that weren't supposed to be there. I scramble and check the database, it would be a huge headache if our production database had been compromised with junk barcodes. Nope, all the new barcodes there have the right number of digits.
Next place to check is in the code that writes the barcodes to a text file for staff to print the physical labels from. Nope that's all fine too.
I ask the person who printed out the recent batch of labels to show me how the printing software reads from the text file. She seems confused by my question and shows me how she manually enters in the barcode range to the software. As she does this I watch her add an extra zero to the numbers. 🙃
Even worse there was an option to import all the codes from a text file literally RIGHT BELOW the manual option.
TLDR; Thought my script had screwed up our database, ended up being the fault of a coworker who didn't know how to import text files.1 -
It's my 19th birthday today! I've had a good year as a programmer, my best yet actually. A year ago I never would have thought about coding a browser but now I'm building up to it with smaller projects like programs that communicate to each other from other computers, more advance gui, c language and wrapping c with python. I never thought I'd get to this but I'm only getting better and I thank this community for being here supporting me. Honestly I cant wait for this year and I cant wait to post more :)9
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I am the manager of a customer service team of about 10-12 members. Most of the team members are right out of school and this is their first professional job and their ages range from 22-24. I am about 10 years older than all of my employees. We have a great team and great working relationships. They all do great work and we have established a great team culture.
Well, a couple of months ago, I noticed something odd that my team (and other employees in the building) started doing. They would see each other in the hallways or break room and say “quack quack” like a duck. I assumed this was an inside joke and thought nothing of it and wrote it off as playful silliness or thought I perhaps missed a moment in a recent movie or TV show to which the quacks were referring.
Fast forward a few months. I needed to do some printing and our printer is in a room that can be locked by anyone when it is in use (our team often has large volumes of printing they need to do and it helps to be able to sort things in there by yourself, as multiple people can get their pages mixed up and it turns into a mess). The door had been locked the entire day and this was around noon, and the manager I have the key to the door in case someone forgot to unlock it when they left. I walked in, and there were two of my employees on the couch in the copier room having sex. I immediately closed the door and left.
This was last week and as you can imagine things are very awkward between the three of us. I haven’t addressed the situation yet because of a few factors: This was during both of their lunch hours. They were not doing this on the clock (they had both clocked out, I immediately checked). We have an understanding that you can go or do anything on your lunch that you want, as long as you’re back after an hour. Also, as you mentioned in your answer last week to the person who overheard their coworker involved in “adult activities,” these people are adults and old enough to make their own choices.
But that’s not the end of the story. That same day, after my team had left, I was wrapping up and putting a meeting agenda on each of their desks for our meeting the next day. Out in broad daylight on the guys desk (one of the employees I had caught in the printing room) was a piece of paper at the top that said “Duck Club.” Underneath it, it had a list of locations of places in and around the office followed by “points.” 25 points – president’s desk, 10 points – car in the parking lot, 20 points – copier room, etc.
So here is my theory about what is going on (and I think I am right). This “Duck Club” is a club people at work where people get “points” for having sex in these locations around the office. I think that is also where the quacking comes into play. Perhaps this is some weird mating call between members to let them know they want to get some “points” with the other person, and if they quack back, they meet up somewhere to “score.” The two I caught in the copier room I have heard “quacking” before.
I know this is all extremely weird. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to write you because of how weird this seems (plus I was a little embarrassed). I have no idea what to do. As I mentioned above, they weren’t on the clock when this happened, they’re all adults, and technically I broke a rule by entering the copier room when it was locked, and would have never caught them if I had obeyed that rule. The only company rule I can think of that these two broke is using the copier room for other purposes, preventing someone else from using it.
I would love to know your opinion on this. I tend to want to sweep it under the rug because I’m kind of a shy person and would be extremely embarrassed to bring it up.21 -
Project Cortana: Day 56
*What I disliked*
Here is the rant where I described the project: https://devrant.io/rants/962190
Where do I start:
1. Skype: Horseshit. Fucking disgrace to chatting apps. Their mobile app feels like someone accidentally shat on android studio and uploaded in play store. Fucking garbage.
But, the desktop app on the other hand is great. Works well but uses a lot of CPU.
2. Edge: The mobile version is great, can't say the same for desktop version. It's definitely a bit slower than Chrome or Quantum. Lack of extensions never bothered me as the most important ones like uBlock, Ghostery and Lastpass is available.
3. Bing: Fuck that useless piece of shit.
4. OneNote: If you could wrap dogshit in a beautiful looking wrapping paper, you would get something similar to OneNote. The desktop app is almost non-fucntional but it is indeed very nice looking.
5. Promotional Apps: Fuck off Micro$oft. As mentioned by others, you get some shitty fucking games pre installed when you install Windows 10. Not only that, in the first couple of hours, it tried to install some further games while it's downloading updates. That is just horrible.
Everthing else was fine so far. The updates never bothered me. I got the "Restart" notification twice and I was able to change the time. It never forced anything on me.10 -
Jesus Christ on a crutch!
You don't fucking use try and excepts everywhere in place of actual logic! For once in your Goddamn miserable life, I need you to actually think through what you're doing instead of mindlessly typing code away at your computer, you fucking King Shit of Turd Mountain!
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYTHING KEEPS BREAKING!?
BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING REFERENCING VARIABLES BEFORE THEY'RE ASSIGNED, AND THEN WRAPPING IT UP IN A TRY AND EXCEPT! YOU DON'T FUCKING DO THAT! Think through what you're doing!!!!
The shit you're pulling off here is as useful as a chocolate teapot!1 -
Today's butt hurt sponsor is... Cordova!
Whoever came up with wrapping web apps in a slow and outdated browser and calling them "Mobile Apps" are absolute lunatics, dangerous for the IT society.
These people should have immediately returned to the asylum they had escaped from, as soon as the idea visited their heads.8 -
I think I might change my middle name to "I told you so"
Couple of weeks ago I proposed integrating a daily process job into an existing WPF application (details of what+why would be too long to explain) and the manager suggested I make the changes
Me: "I can do it, but Jay has the most experience with that application. I don't have his WPF skills"
Mgr: "How hard can WPF be? If it uses the MVVM pattern, it should be a snap."
Me: "Its nearly an 8 year old WPF project with several chefs in that kitchen. I pretty sure I could figure it out, but that is a difference between 2 weeks and 2 days. Integration is pretty straight forward, Jay could probably do it in a day."
DevA: "WPF is easy. MVVM makes it even easier. I worked on the shipping app."
Me: "That's was a brand new, single page app, but yea, it should be easy."
DevB: "WPF has been around a long time and the tools have really matured. I don't understand what is so difficult."
Me: "I didn't say anything would be difficult, I know with that application, there is going to be complexity we need to figure out."
DevB: "It uses the MVVM, so all we need is the user control, a view model, controller, and its done."
DevA: "Sounds easy to me."
Mgr: "If you need more time to work on the vendor project, I'll have DevB work on the integration."
<yesterday>
Me: "How is the integration going?"
DevB: "This app is a mess. I have no idea how they got the control collections to work. If I hard-code everything, I can get it to work. This dynamic stuff is so confusing. Then there is the styling. Its uses dark mode, but no matter what I do, my controls show up in light mode."
Me: "The app uses Prism, so the control configuration is in, or around, the startup code."
DevB: "That makes sense. Will it fix the styling too?"
Me: "I have no idea. When I looked at it, some controls loaded the styles from the main resource, other's have it hard-coded. Different chefs in the kitchen, I guess. How far have you got?"
DevB: "I've created invoice button. That is as far as I got"
Me: "I'm finished with the vendor project and I'll be wrapping up the documentation today. I can try to help next week."
DevB: "Thanks. I think we might have to get Jay to help if we can't figure this out."
Me: "Good idea"
Two weeks and only a button. A button? I miss Delphi.3 -
A server application pulled off some sort of listings as table. Problem was, it crashed with some thousand data files after one and a half hours. I looked into that, and couldn't stop WTFing.
A stupid server side script fetched the data in XML (WTF!) and then inserted shit node-wise (WTF!!), which was O(n^2) - in PHP and on XML! Then it converted the whole shebang into HTML for browser display although users would finally copy/paste the result into Excel anyway.
The original developer even had written a note on the application page that pulling the data "could take long". Yeah because it's so fucking STUPID that Clippy is an Einstein in comparison, that's why!
So I pulled the raw data via batch file without XML wrapping and wrote a little C program for merging the dumped stuff client-side in O(n), spitting out a final CSV for Excel import.
Instead of fucking the server for 1.5 hours and then crashing, shit is done after 7 seconds, out of which the actual data processing takes 40 bloody milliseconds!4 -
Right, that's fucking it. Enough. I'm all for learning new technologies, frameworks, and development protocols, but my time on this earth is limited and at the end of the day if I'm having to spend DAYS AND FUCKING DAYS just scouring through obscure forum posts because the documentation is shit and just hitting ONE FUCKING PROBLEM AFTER ANOTHER then there comes a point at which the time investment simply isn't worth it. I HATE throwing in the towel because some FUCKING CUNT code problem has got the better of me, but fucking sense must prevail here.
Laravel fucking Mix. Do any any of you use this shit on Windows? Because I take my fucking hat off to you. I'm done with it.
Oh, so your server uses 'public_html' instead of 'public' does it? Well, of course you can just set
mix.setPublicPath('public_html'); then can't you?
No, you can't. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Not only do you have to hard-code your fucking public directory into each specified path, additionally you have to set
mix.setPublicPath('./');
Why? Because fuck you, that's why. It took me the best part of two days to discover that little nugget of information, buried at the bottom of some obscure corner of the internet in a random github issue thread. Fuck off.
Onto next problem. Another 5 hours invested to extract some patchy solution that I'm not at all happy with.
Rinse, repeat.
Make it work with BrowserSync by wrapping your assets like so:
<link rel="stylesheet" href="{{ mix('/build/css/main.css') }}">
Oh oh oh but "The Mix manifest does not exist"... despite a fresh install of Laravel 5.6 and all relevant node modules installed... follow some other random Github thread with a back and forth of time-consuming suggestions for avenues of experimentation, with no clear solution.
Er no, fuck off. I'm going back to Grunt and maybe I'll try Webpack/Mix in another year or two when there's actually some clear answers, but as it stands this a wild goose chase into a fucking black-hole and I've got better things to do with my precious time. Go die.5 -
I'm a TA myself and just yesterday wanted to defend my fellow TAs and CS/IT teachers from some of the rants here. Of course not all of the rants are but I found a few quite unfair towards us and I can fully understand a TA getting confused and tired after 5-7 hours of helping and wrapping your head around some of the harder problems the students run into.
However, I'm also a student myself and right now I'm fucking fed up with the shit my supervisor gives me regularly .. So let the rant flow!
(disclaimer: the following text uses “you” to address the rant recipient. So, dear reader, don't feel offended)
First of, why do you fucking care when and especially where I'm working on your project when you know I'm only working part time since I'm usually tutoring students by daylight. Having me come in after my TA shift to work on your project instead of letting me go home, get some rest and food, and start working with a fresh head is neither helping you nor very productive. Also, if you want me to be productive and use your fucking tools to get going faster you better not make me fucking debug your fucking tools. For instance, I don't even have the same first name so all your fucking paths are invalid on my fucking machine! Also, I get that your machine is more powerful than mine and I don't really care about it as long as you don't fucking push convoluted messy timing sensitive scripts and make me search for the correct values on my machine. And, if a file your script is trying to delete is not there aborting is not an valid exception handling!
And don't get me started on the scripts that actually do some work besides setting up your fucking toolchain! -
I started using duckduckgo about ten years ago and have evangelized it ever since, including on devrant, but I think I've just about had it with it. Let me explain.
I was more than happy to accept the less-than-google results for standard searches, because I could force the site to only show me results that matched an exact string if I put quotes around it, or force the results to include or exclude results with words with minus or plus characters before them.
But that's all gone now. Now, plus just means, "show me more results with this word," and minus means, "show me fewer results with this word." Wrapping a string in quotes doesn't mean you require anything exact anymore. The name of the game with DDG now is the same as Google: engagement. Narrowed results or fewer results means less chance of clickthroughs, and you can't sell ads that way.
For normal searches, I'm off duckduckgo. It makes me sad.
Let me clarify though that DDG's bang searches are still fully functional, and are still an absolutely indispensable part of my workflow. I use them well over a hundred times a day, every day. I updated my rofi script for web searches to use qwant, but still go to DDG if the search string begins with a bang.5 -
Android development sucks assssssssssss.
They FINALLY made a design system that doesn't look ugly so I thought might as well upgrade my old apps to it.
Publish and tonnnnes of crashes hours after launch.
Test on older devices and turns out some @color/material_xyz was missing in a lower API code BUT available in higher ones? No fallback, no error in AndroidStudio, just a runtime crash. Amazing
Then the location permissions glitch up. On lower androids even if you aren't actively tracking the user, the system tries to call some method which if you haven't overridden, the app crashes at launch.
And no amount of wrapping in try-catch-ignore helps (https://stackoverflow.com/questions... helped)
OH AND THEN the above solution if used on latest Android code33, CRASHES ON RUNTIME. so more sets of 'if VCODE this then ask this else that' bullshit.
I don't even need location it's just for better ad money ffs.
I've been team-android since Froyo and hate apple's monopoly, but if this is the level of their competence, many will jump ship sooner or later.
PS: yes I know I should've checked for lower versions before hand but Im not gonna make 8 android VMs to test all when different things fail in different versions.
I did have to do that in the end, but for a meh pet project one shouldn't have to. The system should have enough fallbacks and graceful fails.3 -
While we were wrapping up my interview, one interviewer asked "Do you have any more questions for us?" I responded with "Well, when should I start?" I was smiling and showed confidence. Being yourself and believing in yourself will definitely put you in a working environment that you belong to.4
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Moving flats in about an hour, wrapped my desktop in multiple blankets and bubble wrap, and that times ten for my monitors, I'm fearing for my life here guys4
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The joy when tools do not have machine parseable output.
I'm looking at you SBT. My favorite pile of poo.
Remove the logging level from each line, then trim the line, then stab around inside the line with regexes, fishing for a possible match which hopefully is right...
Then stripping scala information like the object type, cause yeah...
A line can be for example "[info] Vector(File(...),File(...))" where info is the log level, Vector the wrapping sequence type, File(...) the wrapping element type and the string inside File(...) what yours truly needs.
As this is lot of shitty shabby string stabby stabby, we need to add a fuckton of boiler plate validation cause who knows what we just murdered.
To make it even more fucked up, a multi project project can produce different output for the same key.
:-)
Yeah. So we need to fix that too.
By the way, one can set log output to unbuffered in SBT.
Then the output is in random order :-)
Isn't that fun? Come on, you wanna poke that pile of shit, too.
The SBT plugin way is by the way no alternative, as I need a full Java environment for execution.
Which brings me to the last point:
For fucks sake, writing CLI applications in Java is so much bloody boilerplate code.
There's ugly and then there's the "please kill me" kind of level.
50 lines just to write a basic validation of argc / argv with commons cli.
That's 6 lines in python. Not kidding. :(
I currently hate everything.
Moments where the job sucks: When you have to hotwire two electric cables with high currency by giving both cables the blowjob of your life.3 -
My biggest influence on coding style is working with other people's code. I know the temptation to write "clever" code and I've been (and probably still occasionally am) guilty of it myself, but it's not until you have to debug someones oneliner iterator which has !(i-j) as the stop condition that you start to appreciate dumb, boring, obvious code.
If having a series of if checks in a long list makes it readable, keep it that way. If it makes it more readable to rewrite it into a nested switchcase with a couple of ternary bits, go ahead. Just don't spend half a day wrapping it up into two layers of abstraction that will require an onboarding process for the rest of the team.2 -
Wrapping up a project, I am cleaning code to give the customer the source code. The project had lasted over a year. I joined the team a few months back and it frustrated me how messy the code was. In my previous teams, any new resource was told to stick with the rules, and eventually they became embedded in them. The case seemed opposite here. Developers who wrote clean code became lax (they made me even more pissed).
Now I have the job of getting rid of warnings, formatting issues etc and I do not say this lightly, but, there was no fear of god in anyone who worked on this codebase. The code formatting I have seen makes me wanna...
5 -
Okay, it's FUCKing rant time.
FUCK single-file *cough* page.tpl.php *cough* drupal-sites
I FUCKing hate sites without any FUCKing structure, where all logic is built into the overall wrapping pageview file.
Spend more FUCKing time than healthy finding this golden nugget.
In a FUCKing 2000+ lines long file, in a FUCKing mix of inline CSS/JS, PHP/SQL and FUCKing exec(); calls.
Definetily the best FUCKing way to destroy a FUCKing lightbox, for people who are not logged in...
- Why would you even do that in the first FUCKing place ?!??! The customer didn't ask for this..
All this FUCKing mess because the previous developer decided to quit, and did not FUCKing care for the next maintainer to come.
Fellow drupal developers will know the struggle.
3 -
Inherited a codebase that implements its own word wrapping for receipt printing. Problem is it's putting an extra space at the end of each line.
I open up the implementation, expecting it to be a relatively simple fix, until I see this…
var regex = '.{1,' +width+ '}(\\s|$)' + (cut ? '|.{' +width+ '}|.+$' : '|\\S+?(\\s|$)');
return str.match(RegExp(regex, 'g')).join(linebreak);7 -
I discovered a language I didn't know AND i like.
It's not under active development anymore, but I decide it has a nice syntax. It's made by the writer of craftinginterpreters. There are still people writing some extensions for it.
I decided to implement socket support in it.
That went very well and the result is just BEAUTIFUL. But now, i have a collection of socket functions that require a file descriptor (sock) for every function like write, read and close. We're not living in the 90's. I want to do sock.send(), sock.write() and sock.close(). So socket as an object.
I wrote a wrapper and it is freaking TWO times slower! Hows that even possible.
I've made wrapping to object optional now. Bit disappointing.
The language shows off with benchmarks on their page. Their fibers can even be faster than Elixr. Yeah, if you only use the fiber and nothing else from language. I benchmarked string concat for example against python: 1000 times slower or so.
The source code of wren is so freaking beautiful. Before Lua was my favorite language regarding source. The extensibility is so great that I prefer to work on this one instead of my own language. They kinda made exactly what I wanted. I can't beat that.
For if you're interested: https://wren.io/
The slot way of communicating between host language (C) and child language (wren) seems odd at beginning but i became fan of it.
Thanks for listening to my ted talk.
What's your opinion about wren (syntax)?25 -
Allright, so now I have to extend a brand new application, released to LIVE just weeks ago by devs at out client's company. This application is advertised as very well structured, easy to work on, µservices-based masterpiece.
Well either I lack a loooot of xp to understand the "µservices", "easy to work on" and "well structured" parts in this app or I'm really underpaid to deal with all of this...
- part of business logic is implemented in controllers. Good luck reusing it w/o bringing up all the mappings...
- magic numbers every-fucking-where... I tried adding some constants to make it at least a tiny bit more configurable... I was yelled at by the lead dev of the app for this later.
- crud-only subservices (wrapped by facade-like services, but still.. CRUD (sub)services? Then what's a repository for...?). As a result devs didn't have a place where they could write business logic. So business logic is now in: controllers (also responsible for mapping), helpers (also application layer; used by controllers; using services).
- no transactions wrapping several actions, like removing item from CURRENT table first and then recreating it in HISTORY table. No rollback/recovery mechanism in service layers if things go South.
- no clean-code. One can easily find lines (streams) 400+ cols long.
- no encapsulation. Object fields are accessed directly
- Controllers, once get result from Services (i.e. Facade), must have a tree of: if (result instanceof SomeService.SomeSubservice1.Item1) {...} else if (result instanceof SomeService.SomeSubservice2.Item4) {...} etc. to build a proper DTO. IMO this is not a way to make abstraction - application should NOT know services' internals.
- µservices use different tables (hats off for this one!) but their records must have the same IDs. E.g. if I order a burger and coke - there are 2 order items in my order #442. When I make a payment I create an invoice which must have an id #442. And I'm talking about data layer, not service or application (dto)! Shouldn't µservices be loosely coupled and be able to serve independently...? What happens if I reuse InvoiceµService in some other app?
What are your thoughts?1 -
<!doctype confusedRant 😕>
Plot: we need to release our website in two weeks which holds at least a thousand pages. All these pages are manually migrated from the old website, which doesn't have a database. Current status: 650 pages/1000 are completed, 40 different templates need to be adapted. I'm alone on these templates, my colleagues create the pages and fill the new database
So I'm working on the templates a WebDev coded for our website on a licensed CMS, and had this decently simple html block that looks like a square and consisting of roughly this (Emmet style):
a.area > blockquote > strong.title + p
After adding another <a> element inside the p, I noticed that my <a> wouldn't display and bust the whole look of the square.
Just for more details, the CSS the dev made is ultra specified (meaning each element is too precisely "described" : div.class .child .child2 { /* styles */ } when it could be .class .child2 for example). Also, the templates he made need to be compatible with any "module" the website has, thus the need of this high specificity
So I fired up the DevTools to check what happened, and had:
Expected: a.area > blockquote > strong.title + p > a
Actual result: some new a.area were wrapping the <strong>, the <p> and the <a> I just added. The source code was not showing any of this but just the rules I initially wrote - the expected result
Wtf?! I thought the JS the dev made was adding elements. I disabled said JS, and bam, these a.area were still wrapping everything!! What black magic would add these stupid tags I never asked for.
So I went looking in the CSS files in case some wizardry was happening, but everything was OK.
I tried changing my structure, changing tag (swapping a.area to p.area or without .area), HTML just said "nope, have those please".
Eventually I rewrote my own module out of frustration after three quarters of an hour fiddling with this stupid "module". I hate losing time for such shenanigans and under a lot of pressure because of deadlines.
Still haven't figured why those <element>.area would wrap everything out of nowhere...3 -
Learning Java for the new position I start in a lil over a week. Biggest struggle migrating from PHP is wrapping strings in quotes ONLY...no apostrophes lol. I guess I formed a bad habit. Also slightly frustrating is that you can't overload a method and set defaults. I guess you get that with Kotlin but this company is going to switch away from Java to GoLang and React, so I guess I won't really get to enjoy Kotlin.
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Aye, gonna throw this up here, does anyone have experience at building a mobile game with js (or tbh anything but unity). Right now we are thinking about phaserjs and wrapping it in phonegap app (i fucking hate the idea but its fine for a small game like this). But if there are better alternatives im open, for starter i have no idea how to fullscreen the canvas on this lol.8
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The secret to cross-browser compatibility is just wrapping every single element in an extra div, just for good measure.10
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I miss functions that do stuff.
Just a simple logic piece that does the stuff it wants to do. Without classes, objects, interfaces, frameworks or configurations.
I mean, yes, wrapping the functions behind the implementation of an indifferent interface is usually a good call.. As long as it stays simple.
But it rarely does, doesn't it?5 -
We were refining a tech debt issue about aligning the names and types of the same reference id on different response models. This is to not confuse our API users and make it more intuitive.
Discussion was wrapping up as we all agreed it was a no-brainer and pretty straight forward.
Then suddenly, one colleague goes: "But what's the benefit?"
Errrm...2 -
I contimnue to just hate javascript, especially react. just fucking go die. You can't fix a shit sandwich by wrapping it in fucking typescript. Gah, fucking hate this crap.1
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tools people REALLY wanna use are written like garbage
and also very active, in terms of tickets and pull requests
but the code is overly complex for no reason and a mess, turns out
I looked at the codebase and I have no clue what's going on
then found the API it's calling and I'm sitting here going "Jesus fuck I could've just wrote my own"
it's actually really strange, I see this pattern often of tools tons of people rely on and want to use but they're coded horribly, tons of bugs, and the code is entirely incomprehensible. though all the low effort pull requests is a new one I guess, generally there's no activity or the maintainer is just gone (maybe it's AI?)
anyway then I looked at the API it's wrapping and I'm confused why this library has such shit usability, and furthermore why the hell the code was like that cuz I read that first for about an hour and just kept going in circles. bruh what
guess I'll find out tomorrow if I'm signing up for unanticipated complexity or these people really did mess this up2 -
currently I'm kinda lost in web dev, particularly WordPress themes. As I'm knew to this stuff, I feel I'm going to the wrong direction.
I don't know how to properly make a website, until know I've been doing it all by hand, but as I stated theming, I started using sass, auto prefixes, minify (js|css) and I'm wrapping all this with GNU make.
I'm certain this seems wrong, but what should I do??5 -
I hope people don't use container to workaround dependency issues. That's like buying a new computer because you don't know how to upgrade a tiny software. We should learn how to manage things properly, not wrapping shits up and pretend it is clean4
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Wrapping up at the end of the day, telling my colleague we can pick the rest of the task when we return on Monday..........only to find out we ARE Monday
Not sure where I hit my head today, but holy shit it sucks.
T-4 I guess -
TIL Firefox and Chrome renders "word-break: break-word" and "word-break: break-all" differently. It just makes me hope that there's a way to force install Firefox into the users' computer if they use chrome.1
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Please excuse the "photo of my monitor" picture, but it really was the easiest way to do this...
So, I'm finally getting around to that to-do list item of wrapping my head around Nrwl Nx workspaces, and I stumbled onto this little gem: https://itnext.io/easy-typescript-m...
I didn't take long for the "what the fuck" moments to start cropping up, and then I decided to check what comments might have been left on Daily.dev regarding this one (see attachment).
THAT little nugget there is what led me to the ultimate "what the actually fuck" moment, which is only truly appropriate for DevRant..
Create an Nx workspaces, only to initialise a project with `npm` directly, using a path under a new `libs` folder, next to the `packages` folder, only to build the library, and literally install it into the Nx workspace's `node_modules` folder, b order to import it into the app that exist in the same workspace.
So, seriously.. like.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? What is this guy smoking?? I need to know so I can stay the fuck away from it! Wow. My brain hurts now.
7 -
Level of fuckity fuck mood.
After changing dozens of build plans in Bamboo, the build system of poo...
How to verify that nothing has gone wrong?
Poking the database, you'll be surprised that Bamboo stores the buildplan definition as XML.
Another surprise: Some of the keys / values have typos.
Yeah. You read that right. There are typos inside the XML...
Now together with Postgres, we can use XPATH and have some fun.
UNNEST(COALESCE(XPATH('/configuration/buildTasks/taskDefinition[userDescription[contains(text(),"Bleep")]]', build_definition.xml_definition_data::xml)::varchar[], ARRAY['']))
Lovely wrapping via coalesce for some null safety.
Now we get da task definitions for fields having user description text containing bleep.
Wrapping it in two REGEXP_REPLACE to strip out stupid identifiers....
REGEXP_REPLACE(REGEXP_REPLACE(...., '<id>\d+</id>', ''), '<oid>\d+</oid>', ''))
Then wrap that in MD5.
Boom. Lots of MD5 sums to help you identify if the configs are identical for a task or not.
Now wrapping that in another select to group by the MD5 and filter out the non identical ones.
I hate it how sometimes one has to seemingly do a full 2 hour dance for something as stupid as validation.
I'm pretty glad though for XML and XPATH.
Cause otherwise that would have been a whole can of worms I don't wanna think about....2 -
I've come to realise that wrapping var_dump(); in fucking_var_dump(); greatly helps upon those nasty and frustrating bugs.
So whenever I get mad at a bug, I just write fucking_var_dump($this); -
A game. A simple pixel-art, 2D game.
I told myself I'd start it after wrapping up other projects. When I did, I checked the docs for Electron and Phaser and... Well, lemme do some Node projects first... -
Neat trick that I discovered today:
Because React.useCallback is a thing, you never need a custom react hook to take a dependency array. You can always express your dependencies by wrapping the callback in useCallback and having useCustom pass the callback itself as its own dependency. -
I know some of y'all will judge the fuck outa me
But I had a "I've no idea how this works, but it works" moment today on a pet-project...
It's so inefficiently made coz I was frustrated by it failing so thought il let it work first then worry about shrink-wrapping the logic
Yet with NO-CACHE, from DB -> Service/API -> HTTP response, is just 350ms...
WITH In-memory Cache it goes down to 40-50ms...1 -
Who else has CCD? Cable Compulsory Disorder 😄
If I see cables wrapping other cables I rip them all out and reconnect everything the "right" way 😊 -
headaches..
Likely a very simple algorithm to get these packets processed in the right order, got plenty of metadata that should help, but since yesterday I am wrapping my head around it and cannot figure out a sane way...5 -
ISO floating point numbers are essentially wrapped in a hardware-level monad because the normal meaningful values aren't closed over basic arithmetic so conceptually wrapping everything in Maybe using the 'infectious sentinel value' NaN leads to substantial speedups.
With this in mind, I think high-level languages that have a Maybe should use those and have the language-type float refer to a floating point that isn't NaN.2 -
Cont. on: https://devrant.com/rants/3533743/...
So yeah, kind of had to figure out the semi-hard way that Yew really isn’t prod ready yet (as they clearly state somewhere). Too bad. Or maybe because I don’t have the experience in Rust to overcome some of the issues I’ve had... so it’s back to plan B, id est Vue with TS. At least I got much of the thinking work done already, so I could just write the damn code - and the stuff I had problems with in Yew were all simple for me in Vue.
Or that would’ve been the case if I hadn’t decided to use the newer composition API instead of the options API already familiar to me. Damn it took me all day to wrap my head around it and I’m sure there’s much more head-wrapping to be done. Still, I’m likely done with this at least 2-3 weeks before the deadline, so I can maybe spend the some time figuring out the Yew implementation, too... not sure why, but maybe it ends up better?1 -
I like Firefox a lot.
But it isn't very nice with WPAs, an area of my interest, and downloads PDFs instead of showing them...
Plus I have seen Vivaldi is pretty good for quite some things, like tabs groups and tabs hibernation, has notes, a cool calendar...
But Chrome's console...
It's the only reason I stay with Firefox. (I not only use it at work, but I also use the command line as a pocket JS engine for little scripting and parsing.)
If only I could get selection bracket wrapping and a multiline editor... is it that hard?4 -
!rant
Learning and working on a project built with purescript (fp).
Wrapping up my brain to think functionally and understanding it to implement is like rewiring my brain. I sometimes have to literally sleep on it, only to go through the concepts again the next day to get a little more insight than the day before 😝
Functional concepts are abstract af, but it sure does give you wings to liberate you from conventional way of things. -
rust can't even do rustfmt properly
it just does things unadvertised
like reorder_impl_lines which is described as putting type and const on top of files adds new lines between fn declarations and that's not disclosed anywhere. ffs took me a while to figure it out
and chain_width should be different for fn calls and match statements. because newlining multiple fn calls makes it readable, but newlining match statements and wrapping them in {} does not / makes it ugly. there is match_arm_blocks but it still newlines random stuff awkwardly, raaghh
I thought hey so cool I can write without caring about formatting and just press Ctrl + shift + i and all done but now I'm arguing with the formatter and the settings available suck and are poorly described. please don't write a formatting documentation with no examples, wtf? And disclose everything it does, preferably with consistent language so I can search the page (some of the descriptions say new line others call a new line a break. thanks)1 -
Just an idea...
Fuck scam calls and texts. I feel like wrapping their phone cords around their necks and beating them with the handset.
So short story long, I'm looking at developing a website that has a list of websites and endpoints for text and call subscriptions. The stupider the better. Enter the annoying phone number or email address, subscribe them to every damn service on the list, and let the fun begin.
Has anyone got any such websites they'd like included?6 -
That one time I tried to open the wrapping paper of a lollipop. Those things are made of titanium or something!
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Anyone got a way of wrapping a .net library in an excel addin that isn't shit?
Or at least, than isn't any more shit than an excel addin needs to be?3 -
anyone know a good tutorial for unity and its c# api structure? i’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it and i am starting to feel stupid.3
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Wrapping applications is PITA. It would be cool and all, but the app outputs debug(ish) messages into stderr, which just makes me write more spaghetti :'(
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