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CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”
Student: “Management”
CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”16 -
"Oh, he is asking that much money for this website? I will create that for only $250 with WordPress. He is just trying to use you"
You fucking wanker. What you don't understand is that you are pushing the companies to a fucking black hole that they won't be able to recover from.
He shows an example of a website which takes 30 sec to load. It's full of hundreds of dreadful plugins. He chose the shittiest stock pictures to make it look "pretty".
When I point out his fucking shite website takes this long to load, he says if the company wants to make the website fast, they will need buy the premium plan of CloudFlare. WHAT THE FUCK are you even talking about?
Not only that, the example website, doesn't even have any SSL. He is saying that the other company didn't want to pay for the SSL. Ever heard of fucking StartSSL or LetsEncrypt?
It's people like you who is responsible for making half of the web an insecure, slow, low-performance space which is prone to hacking.
WordPress was made for blogging. KEEP IT THAT WAY. Stop trying to make your high-performance CMS or eCommerce website with this shite.18 -
So our public transportation company started to sell tickets online with their brand new fancy system.
• You can buy tickets and passes for the price you want
• Passwords are in plaintext
• Communication is through HTTP
• Login state are checked before the password match so you can basically view who is online
• Email password reminders security code can be read from servers response
Oh and I almost forgot admin credentials are FUCKING admin/admin
Who in the fucking name of all gods can commit such idiocracy with a system that would be used by almost millions of people. I hope you will burn in programming hell. Or even worse...
I'm glad I'm having a car and don't have to use that security black hole.15 -
Took an interview today.
Me - What do you think JavaScript is interpreted or compiled.
Guy(5+ years of UI exp) - It's neither of them. It just runs on browser.
At that moment I slowly started fading away into a black hole for the absolute peace and embrace death.15 -
"Did you get my email?"
No, your email got sucked into the black hole that is the vast and mysterious internet. It's gone forever.
/s
Yes, I got your email. I'm ignoring it because I can only handle one stupid coworker's request at a time. Take a number.6 -
so my mom wanted to write some word document, but she didn't use her laptop for like ~5 years, it didn't boot up so she asked me to fix, now here is what I found :
>the laptop had a 240 gb hdd
>the hdd was literally broken
>bought her a new 500 gb hdd
>installed windows 7
>took 10 mins to install
>took 19 minutes to boot up
>removed windows 7
>installed win xp
>took 30 mins to install
>took 3 minutes to boot up
>opened windows
>checked pc specs
>see picture below
>[insert wtf gif here]
>installed drivers
>took 20 minutes to install drivers
>[insert epic music here]
>tried installing office 2016
>insta regret
>tried installing office 2010
>memory farted and I couldn't even move the cursor
>installed office 2007
>mom started writing document peacefully
>after 2 hours bsod
>mom asks me to fix
>opens laptop to check internal components
>the cpu had a black hole inside
>the fans weren't working due to the circuit being burnt for some reason
>kills laptop
>kills mom
>kills self
>live peacefully in hell
11 -
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and the scum of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pig can spit
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit
and it goes by the name of EU...
At the top of the hole sit a privileged few
making mockery of the vermin in the lower zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
by passing shit like article 11, 13, and 17.
for the corruption of men is as wondrous as Peru5 -
Hello again, everyone. I've been busy with all the paperwork at my ship (will make a post about it later) but for now, I'll bore you with another story (not navy one, fortunately) to justify my slacking off.
And this story... is the story on how I got into ITSec. And it is pretty damn embarrassing. It all began when I was 16. I was hooked on battleknight.gameforge.com, a browser game. My father had just had ADSL installed at our home, and the new opportunities before me were endless. Well...
After I've had my fill with the porn torrents and them opportunities dwindled to just a few dozens, I began searching for free games, and I stumbled on that game. I played a lot, but as a free-to-play game, it was also pay-to-win. I didn't have a credit card, so I paid for a few gems with SMS messages. Fast forward a couple of years, I got into the Naval Academy. A guy came in to advertise something (I think it was an encyclopaedia or something - yes, wikipedia wasn't a thing back then) and to pay for it, we could apply for a credit card. So I applied. And I resisted the temptation for a year.
Note: prepaid wasn't that known where I live, so using credit cards was the only way for online transactions.
So I made 1 transaction. Just one. After a couple of months my monthly report from the bank came, showing a 2.5$ (I think) transaction on Paypal. I paid no mind, thinking that it was some hidden fee. Oh boy, I shit you not, I was THAT much of an idiot. Six months later, BOOM!
600$ transaction to ebay via paypal. You can imagine all those nice things that came to my mind. In any case, the bank accepted my protest that I filed at their central offices and cancelled the transaction. I promptly cancelled my card, destroyed it right there for good measure, and got to thinking... what the fuck just happened?
As many people here, I am afflicted with a deadly virus, called curiosity. I started researching the matter, trying to figure out how. And, because I didn't like black boxes and "it is just like it is" explanations, I tumbled down the rabbit hole of ITSec. I soon found out that, not only it was possible, but also it was sometimes EXTREMELY easy to steal credit card info. There are sites, to this very day, that store user info (along with credit cards info) IN FUCKING CLEARTEXT. Sometimes your personal, financial and even medical info are just an SQLi away.
So, I got very disillusioned on many things. But I never regretted it. It may cause me to age prematurely and will kill me of stroke or heart attack one day, but as I still tumble down the ITSec rabbit hole, I can say with confidence that
I REGRET NOTHING
Plus, my 600$ were returned, so look on the bright side :)1 -
It's pretty good deal, if you ask me !!
Gotta buy one, so that I can be online even after I'm dead, earth gets destroyed, sun gets turned into Black hole and collision of milky way and Andromeda Galaxies.
14 -
fucking hostgator!
go suck a cock you developers!
everything from their payment system to their support is crap.
a few days ago, i purchased a website from hostgator, with a year of hosting during black friday weekend. i had obtained a black friday coupon code that entitled me to roughly $160 off its usual price. that said, i filled out the registration form and clicked the 'checkout' button.
right after i clicked it, i saw i forgot to put in the coupon code, and pressed the back button on my browser. then i put in the code and proceeded with checkout.
guess what?
those MOTHERFUCKING GREEDY ASS BITCHES charged me TWICE, one with the coupon and one without.
i contacted customer support and told them what happened after waiting about double the time i was supposed to be connected to support.
of course, they asked for my fucking "security" pin over the customer support live chat (totally not ironic).
they sent a confirmation email, and cancelled the payment without the coupon.
then ONE FUCKING DAY LATER, I tried to connect to my website.
MY SITE WAS FUCKING SUSPENDED.
die in a hole.
i contacted customer support once more, and after explaining the story, I had to wait four to eight hours.
i'll see how it turns out tomorrow.
die in a hole hostgator🖕
12 -
There is a hole in the world like a great black pit and it is filled with people who developed Eclipse.3
-
Data Engineering cycle of hell:
1) Receive an "beyond urgent" request for a "quick and easy" "one time only" data need.
2) Do it fast using spaghetti code and manual platforms and methods.
3) Go do something else for a time period, until receiving the same request again accompanied by some excuse about "why we need it again just this once"
4) Repeat step 3 until this "only once" process is required to prevent the sun from collapsing into a black hole
5) Repeat steps 1 to 4 until it is impossible to maintain the clusterfuck of hundreds of "quick and simple" processes
6) Require time for refactoring just as a formality, managers will NEVER try to be more efficient if it means that they cannot respond to the latest request (it is called "Panic-Driven Development" or "Crappy Diem" principle)
7) GTFO and let the company collapse onto the next Data Engineering Atlas who happens to wander under the clusterfuck. May his pain end quickly.2 -
!rant && !!rant
☝️ What does that give you?
Today will be the last day we gonna work at this fucking hellhole of an office. Since I had so many shits to remember from this office, let me share my favorite.
1) Ground floor. Got flooded last July. Half our equipments got soaked. Oh equipments as in computers, cables, reports documents, etc etc.
2) I am gonna miss those connection down days.
3) I will also miss those black out days where we couldn't work for hours so had to play teamwork games to keep the morale of the team and you know to stay awake.
4) I will also miss that fucking mouse or rat. You are small and cute but fuck you for chewing my potato chips and peanuts. A-hole.
5) No windows so with no air-conditioning, it is a literal hell hole.
Gotta stop. I might cry.17 -
I recently started naming my devices in a certain scheme:
Laptop - Sagittarius (central black hole in the milky way)
Server - Sirius (brightest star visible from Earth)
Pi - Centauri (closed star system to us)
Any iot devices would be named like unnamed planets (i.e. Centauri A, Centauri B, ...)
Do some of you have cool/interesting naming schemes for your devices?17 -
Well i was between jobs at the time, looking for something, anything to fill in the black hole being created in my wallet.
I applied online though this company’s website and within 20 minutes was on a phone interview setting up a face to face, this was Monday afternoon.
I went in on the Wednesday morning with the manager, no cv, no resume, no examples of work, we talked, did a couple of brain teaser questions and Friday morning I had the job 😂
I have never put so little effort into getting a job before but it was all a sham, the workload and requirements this job constantly sets out to kill me with are godly.
3 years later I’m still alive ( somehow ), and no blood has been shed.... yet. -
I wish I could just disappear into a black hole when everyone around me is talking so that I can peacefully code :(3
-
To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!
1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!
We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!
76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.
WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)4 -
Right, that's fucking it. Enough. I'm all for learning new technologies, frameworks, and development protocols, but my time on this earth is limited and at the end of the day if I'm having to spend DAYS AND FUCKING DAYS just scouring through obscure forum posts because the documentation is shit and just hitting ONE FUCKING PROBLEM AFTER ANOTHER then there comes a point at which the time investment simply isn't worth it. I HATE throwing in the towel because some FUCKING CUNT code problem has got the better of me, but fucking sense must prevail here.
Laravel fucking Mix. Do any any of you use this shit on Windows? Because I take my fucking hat off to you. I'm done with it.
Oh, so your server uses 'public_html' instead of 'public' does it? Well, of course you can just set
mix.setPublicPath('public_html'); then can't you?
No, you can't. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Not only do you have to hard-code your fucking public directory into each specified path, additionally you have to set
mix.setPublicPath('./');
Why? Because fuck you, that's why. It took me the best part of two days to discover that little nugget of information, buried at the bottom of some obscure corner of the internet in a random github issue thread. Fuck off.
Onto next problem. Another 5 hours invested to extract some patchy solution that I'm not at all happy with.
Rinse, repeat.
Make it work with BrowserSync by wrapping your assets like so:
<link rel="stylesheet" href="{{ mix('/build/css/main.css') }}">
Oh oh oh but "The Mix manifest does not exist"... despite a fresh install of Laravel 5.6 and all relevant node modules installed... follow some other random Github thread with a back and forth of time-consuming suggestions for avenues of experimentation, with no clear solution.
Er no, fuck off. I'm going back to Grunt and maybe I'll try Webpack/Mix in another year or two when there's actually some clear answers, but as it stands this a wild goose chase into a fucking black-hole and I've got better things to do with my precious time. Go die.5 -
Any tips on nailing OOP design interview questions? This is a black hole, weak area for me, and I get absolutely no feedback on what I'm doing wrong.
I feel like most of it is because I *nothing* about what I'm asked to design.
And yes, I ask clarifying questions, list out use cases and constraints, identify nouns/verbs and map them to objects/methods - but these don't help with the overall *design* when you can't even grasp what the components are, nor which parts need extensibility.
Imagine you've *never* been inside a car, let alone even understand there's components to a car (you don't even know that cars have engines, or that they take fuel). Now imagine you're asked to design a car. It's just, silly.
14 -
Why can't people be more objective on demands?
These people can't fucking grasp the concept of "ask for something" NOOO they have to fucking make an endless black hole stupid speech to tell you to "do x"!!!!
FUCK YOU WHO DO THAT!!
YOU HAVE AN ASSHOLE WHERE SHOULD BE YOUR MOUTH! -
Rant Mode: ON
Do you know what really grinds my gears? Those dreaded "404 Page Not Found" errors. It's like a digital black hole, sucking your users into a vortex of frustration.
And don't get me started on inconsistent coding standards. It's like trying to decipher hieroglyphics written by different ancient civilizations. Why can't we all just follow the same conventions?
Oh, and software updates that break everything! You spend hours perfecting your code, only for a new update to come along and wreak havoc. It's like the universe is conspiring against developers.
But hey, despite the rants, we developers are a resilient bunch. We thrive on solving problems, no matter how infuriating they can be. So, here's to the endless debugging, the endless coffee, and the endless love-hate relationship with coding. We wouldn't have it any other way.
Rant Mode: OFF
Phew, that felt good. Thanks for letting me vent!6 -
Today I experimented a bit with Dockerfile's.
Was quite surprised how far you could go with a spicy salsa of ARG, ENV, SHELL and multi stage builds.
But... For fucks sake....the debugging is like poking a light year long rod into a black hole, trying to fish something out of the event horizon....
In the end I got a nice setup for Java build's, version injectable with ENV/ARG, non root user and version specific behaviour.
As the debugging is non existing...
I filled up more than once my SSD....
It was an annoying brain damaged repetitive cycle of changing Dockerfile, pruning all images if docker build stopped because of missing free space, waiting for all stages to complete, start new.
And caching is a fragile thing that puzzles me .........
Guess more fishing tomorrow.
*Gives a happy deep throat to the beer bottle in hope of death*4 -
There's only one place I want to spend my summer holidays:
The black hole.
I don't know about you. But earth is already boring!4 -
I give up. I have never had a successful experience with iptables in my entire career. I have never seen any adult human successfully utilizing iptables at work. There is no debugger software with a window that shows a packet and you press F8 and you see what happens to the packet as it passes through the iptables black hole. No body knows why this piece of software does not work. Everybody believe that there's some hacker somewhere who knows how it works. And all projects that come to this point, end up giving up and finding a different solution that does not need iptable at all or just move to a totally different business altogether! The only thing that might work with ip table is to simply block some port numbers or some ip addresses. Routing traffic send to one port into another port or through another interface, etc. Forget about it! We really need an alternative to iptables. And I don't mean just a shell on top of iptables that just converts one format of commands into another. I mean a new linux kernel module that routes packages and does it successfully and comes with an IDE with debugger function.6
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80's: Got new device with few kilobytes of ram, calculating mass of black hole.
Today: Got new phone with 4gb of ram, mining Bitcoins with app.2 -
I don’t really have just one.
Ada Lovelace, she is the reason we have everything and she is the OG
Margaret Hamilton is badass and got Apolo 11 to the moon
Steve Wozniak, the real brains behind OG Apple. And his tech revolutionized computers. Plus have you ever just watched a video of him he’s so fucking pure and innocent. Like holy fuck he’s awesome and just hella intelligent.
John Romero + John Carmack. Two of the programmers on the original DOOM dev team. The team revolutionized the gaming industry and
Katie Bouman, just got added to the list for the black hole picture -
I inherited some code today. I am in the process of reworking it to drop into my framework so I can use it with our product. I am seeing this throughout the code...
try:
\do something\
except:
pass
Ahem... HANDLE YOUR DAMN EXCEPTIONS!!! DON'T JUST PASS THEM INTO THE BLACK HOLE OF NOTHINGNESS! FFS!!! Using pass like this means "Fuck it. I don't care if this fails and I want NOTHING to tell management when it does. I want to blindly look into their frustrated eyes and say ..duhh, I don't know why it failed... Fuck troubleshooting. You know what, this job isn't meant for me anyways." My outer voice is politely saying "There is a better way to do this. Please allow me to show you." Meanwhile my inner voice is flipping tables and clubbing baby seals. /rant -
Just found the most embarrassing security hole. Basically a skelleton key to millions of user data. Names, email addresses, zip codes, orders. If the email indicates a birthdate, even more shit if you chain another vector. Basically an order id / hash pair that should allow users to enter data AND SHOULD ONLY AUTHORIZE THEM TO THE SITE FOR ENTRING DATA. Well, what happend was that a non mathing hash/id pair will not provide an aith token bit it will create a session linked to that order.
Long story short, call url 1 enter the foreign ID, get an error, access order overview site, profit. Obviously a big fucking problem and I still had to run directly to our CEO to get it prioritized because product management thought a style update would be more important.
Oh, and of course the IDs are counted upwards. Making them random would be too unfair towards the poor black hats out there.1 -
So today I inherited an iPhone app written for iPhones 3 & 4 in Objective-C.
I am facing two not so unique problems:
1. I hate Objective-C so I quickly converted it to Swift but as expected I created a tonne of errors and warnings that I am working through
2. The developer(s) didn't think it important enough to leave a solitary comment explaining what the hell they were doing.
So looking forward to a few weeks of swearing and getting myself all upset trying to get this app to work in a complete information black hole.3 -
/dev/null is like a black hole. You know it exists, but you cannot communicate with it. It has no output, only input. It swallows all data it can possibly get and nobody knows what it looks inside.4
-
Frnd : Array starts at 1
Me : ya, when donkeys teaches Quantum mechanics and Einstein shits black hole3 -
Junior Dev: "The man told me I have to use his framework but I don't know shit about it"
Me: "hmmm, since it's something he developed, you should ask him for some documentations or some examples"
Junior Dev: "I did!! That bastard gave me an example but I can't do anything with it. It's just executables, some config file and NO sources"
Me: "well, this sounds odd to me. You're telling me he just sent you executables and not a single source ? There is no .cs file in there?"
-- 2 minutes later --
Junior Dev: "now that I see ... The sources are there ... BUT the damn bastard put them into subfolders ... And there isn't a Solution file ... How could I even ..."
And THAT was the moment my brain collapsed into a black hole, obliterating me from the existence. Or at least that was what I wished for. -
More math (because it's 5am and currently the apocalypse so why not).
e - log(log(e, 1.444667861009766**1.444667861009766), log(e, e**1.444667861009766)) = 1
I've been studying so long if I happen to glance at a pocket calculator I might jizz in my pants.
Thinking BigBrain thoughts right now bois! (tm).
Oh shit. Cant stop. I think I opened a portal bros! and am being sucked in. ITS A BLACK HOLE!18 -
I was the first person to actually discover how a black hole looks like. And i can prove it. node_modules/
-
Business managers not taking ownership for quality of data. If systems are not designed with proper data validation controls at each upstream data entry point them downstream processes and revenue will suffer. You will have a continuous data cleanup black hole.2
-
I had a pretty good year! I've gone from being a totally unknown passionate web dev to a respected full stack dev. This will be a bit lengthy rant...
Best:
- Got my first full time employment dev role at a company after being self-taught for 8+ years at the start of the year. Finally got someone to take the risk of hiring someone who's "untested" and only done small and odd jobs professionally. This kickstarted my career, super grateful for that!
- Started my own programming consulting company.
- Gained enough confidence to apply to other jobs, snatched a few consulting jobs, nailed the interviews even though I never practiced any leet code.
- Currently work as a 99% remote dev (only meet up in person during the initialization of some projects.) I never thought working remotely could actually work this well. I am able to stay productive and actually focus on the work instead of living up to the 9-5 standard. If I want to go for a walk to think I can do that, I can be as social and asocial as I want. I like to sleep in and work during the night with a cup of tea in the dark and it's not an issue! I really like the freedom and I feel like I've never been more productive.
- Ended up with very happy customers and now got a steady amount of jobs rolling in and contracts are being extended.
- I learned a lot, specialized in graph databases, no more db modelling hell. Loving it!
- Got a job where I can use my favorite tools and actually create something from scratch which includes a lot of different fields. I am really happy I can use all my skills and learn new things along the way, like data analysis, databricks, hadoop, data ingesting, centralised auth like promerium and centralised logging.
- I also learned how important softskills are, I've learned to understand my clients needs and how to both communicate both as a developer and an entrepeneur.
Worst:
- First job had a manager which just gave me the specifications solo project and didn't check in or meet me for 8 weeks with vague specifications. Turns out the manager was super biased on how to write code and wanted to micromanage every aspect while still being totally absent. They got mad that I had used AJAX for requests as that was a "waste of time".
- I learned the harsh reality of working as a contractor in the US from a foreign country. Worked on an "indefinite" contract, suddenly got a 2 day notification to sum up my work (not related to my performance) after being there for 7+ months.
- I really don't like the current industry standard when it comes to developing websites (I mostly work in node.js), I like working with static websites (with static website generators like what the Svelte.js driver) and use a REST API for dynamic content. When working on the backend there's a library for everything and I've wasted so many hours this year to fix bugs and create workarounds related to dependencies. You need to dive into a rabbit hole for every tool and do something which may work or break something later. I've had so many issues with CICD and deployment to the cloud. There's a library for everything but there's so many that it's impossible to learn about the edge cases of everything. Doesn't help that everything is abstracted away, which works 90% of the time but I use 15 times the time to debug things when a bug appears. I work against a black box which may or may not have an up to date documentation and it's so complex that it will require you to yell incantations from the F#$K
era and sacrifice a goat for it to work properly.
- Learned that a lot of companies call their complex services "microservices". Ah yes, the microservice with 20 endpoints which all do completely unrelated tasks? -
In a sprint planning meeting. Getting frustrated. I guess it's my fault. I guess I assumed that attending the same schedule meeting each week meant that we all knew when everything was due. My bad.
Seriously, I fucking hate systems people sometimes. We have 4 major tasks coming down the pipe, but they are scheduled in such a way in which they are staggered. But they want to punt the 1 of the 4 that is fucking done because it is going to cause a lot of testing, but the other three aren't coming til end of next month AT LEAST. So they want to stick their thumbs up their ass holes and wait to test the other three before testing the one that, again, IS FUCKING DONE!!! Are they worried that a super massive black hole will spontaneously form in earth's orbit and cause time to run backwards and somehow cause December to happen in October!?!?
No wonder systems is so fucking far behind. They can't see the forest for the trees. They're so big picture that months and years are at the same level of granularity. Fucking hell how is scrum better than our current agile process again? Besides the fact that it makes me attend more useless meetings and get more angry.
They are punishing the left hand for the actions of the right. Systems wasn't doing their job so now software has to slow down and miss schedule.2 -
Test the project pre-release -> everything works well
Release the project -> new bugs comes out, features are not working anymore, some files are corrupted, your PC is ready to explode and a black hole is going to destroy everything1 -
Not dev related so don't shoot me. If you like writing I figure you maybe might enjoy this and thought I'd share.
This is a section from an unfinished novel about 2050s America, set in a corporate subsidized mega-fevela sprawling across washington state, ruled by gangs and patrolled by the officers of a bankrupt nation suffering through austerity and on-and-off again spasms of mass civil conflict.
"Averice - Sex, drugs, and vice, in the downfall and dying days of america."
we lived in a smoke government, where everything was bullshit they blew up your ass so you could continue make believe while
you were bent over with your head in the hole in the ground you mistook for your ass to start with. And if you questioned it all, one bit, the mouth organ of the state would command
hate upon you, like an old latin curse, with a lexicon armada of phrases like "terrorist", and "troubled individual" to character assassinate you by drowning you in the humbling river of societies mass delusion giver, those two sweet letters "TV."
No, we were on the industry edge here, inventing better bait to catch what the state politiburo labelled 'bandits', all for what?
It had, in later years become fashionable to call those who didn't want to be stolen from any more, projected as it were, "thieves", in the same fashion as those in the middle east, defending
their homeland from foreigners, were labelled "insurgents." Tyranny had not so long ago grown a sense of irony it would seem.
And if you became enemy number one of the state, as thousands were, you would spend your days on the run, always looking over your
shoulder for the states vanish vans--black escalades with men in dark suits and mirrored glasses, like bugmen with shiny inhuman, and inscrutable eyes full of alien malice.
These were sordid summers, full of plastic playhouses where the cost of a days wages you could lay with a synthetic lover and pay away the days tense tax for a good lay, and forget your toils and troubles. And so many were kept in poverty because of easy habit and routine that they forget they were not living.
But for me, I had none of it. I preferred the troubled thing on the corner when I could coax one into my state issued sedan. She was sulky, with bright blonde curls, 19, maybe 20, with empty eyes, as if watching some invisible horizon. And in the glow of the blue neon, among the wet sidewalks, and trash, she leaned into my car. No words were exchanged. I nodded, and
she got into the car, a miniskirt, and slinky little handbag.
This was no more than state business with a bureau guy like me, and for her, little more than the prison trade taken public.
She huffed some powder and climbed spraddle leg onto my lap, grabbing me along my jawline, eyes locked onto the depths of my soul, and
for the next ten minutes as she moved on top of me, I was motionless property while my lusts became animal, and she, my cream cup.
After, I arrested her to the standard protests, but she new the game and quickly hushed. This was the verdant arithmetic of the state. I was awarded x amount of pension points for every criminal, no matter how, and it was no gentle hand, not the judge, not the jury, or the executioner of their will. It was the rigid touch of a long arm, dislocated from the law, and now, like frankenstein's monster, cobbled onto the mechanism of the state not unlike the manner of a combine harvester.
We were the owners of all by virtue of all we could take, and we took all we could get. The serial romeos of state police power, romancing
the unwilling citizenry with televised patriotism and five minute power talks at the beginning of the corporate day.
It could be paradise or a wasteland if we wanted it to be. And for a time it was.
Edit: devrant always breaks my formatting. sigh. -
I saw another rant about formatting. Now I want to complain too.
I fucking hate black formatting. Go screw yourself, it all hyped up and fucked up my code. Don't worry, everything still works, except my eyes. They got blinded everytime I see a black formatting commit. Screw you... Fire in the hole!!!!!!10 -
Facebook and Buzzfeed :(
I kept checking every notification which pulled me in to a black hole of surfing and I ended up using 2 or so hours on Facebook and Internet stuff a day (this was only at work so my days got so long because I had to stay longer and actually do my job). Found out I was addicted, read some articles about work productivity and how to be more effective at work, deleted social apps from my phone and only check notifications once a day, and now my days are much shorter and I actually feel relieved and free :) -
because I lacked a portable storing solution (pockets weren't allowed), I couldn't find anything better than using my own skull as a storage box. It turned out it had way more room than expected. The brain itself is quite small, and the whole frontal lobe & the space around the brain is completely empty. Initially, opening the skull was scary and cumbersome, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. Once upon a time, when I tried to pop an acne on my forehead, the hole was revealed, and it led to the storage space beneath. I have no idea how it happened, but apparently the skin is too thin. The bone also looks much thicker from the inside. There were two wires — red and black — leading to a standard PC speaker every old computer had. I wasn't a cyborg, mind you, I merely put that speaker there for storage. The acne hole healed with those wires exposed, leaving a permanent mark due to the wire coloring pigment dissolving in my skin.
I used that storage space to hide the contents of some parcels I was processing back then. I was stealing things. Eventually, my coworker — Bruce Willis — confronted me, and I had to strangle him. My arm became very flexible, and I was able to wrap it around his neck several times during a chokehold. It didn't end well for both of us. -
I'm not sure I understand this but you can shrink anything by putting it in a gel and shining a laser at it? And whatever you put in would still work? So I could shrink a TV into nanoscale then, it would have the same mass... So theoretically I could create a black hole?
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2018/...4 -
Every time a read a rant about a company environment here I think: “It sounds exactly like my previous company!”
But I know we are in different countries…
I guess that when companies suck over a given threshold, they distort space and time like a black hole and become a unique super dimensional joint venture.1 -
This has nothing to do wiv developing stuff this site was created for. I just wanted to make a short public statement and there really isn't any place else to say it without the idea that some oik would infantalize it and make fun.
It goes under the heading of something like, "Personal Irony: I'm Not Codependent, I'm Just Trying to Help [Myself]!"
In 2016 I created a playlist that included REM's "Let Me In," Michael Stipe's song to Kurt Cobain. And "Head Down", and "Black Hole Sun," by Soundgarden. I have a good singing voice, I think it's a baritone. But those notes at the end of BHS, you know, "Won't you come?" When you sing it, you pronounce the lyric: WOAN CHOO CU-UH-UHM, the "UH-" dropping an octave into "UHM." It's particular to my range that dropping that note requires discipline and concentration. And even then I'd say I've sung it 100 times and nailed it to my satisfaction maybe twice. Anyway, I had these two songs as a playlist in my media player. I listened to them and sang along as quietly as I could, it being four a.m. here in Seattle. And as the final notes of BHS fragmented and skipped back into eternity, I felt like total shit. Not at all normal for me to personally feel the loss of an entertainer, but at that moment I did feel sad. That's it. Thanks for reading this odd little collection of words.1 -
Thought experiment (and I promise there are no plot twists and no metaphors -- it won't turn out that I was talking about tiktok/apple/censorship):
Imagine there is a cosmic horror entity that can annihilate us in an instant. It lives at the bottom of a pit. We as a species are being constantly sucked into that pit -- in this fictional universe, it's the natural order of life. The pit devoured many before us, and we're next. The pit is not conscious -- it's just a force that exists, and like a black hole, it can do nothing but attract things around it just to devour them. It has no choice -- it destroys things passively. It never changes the way it destroys things.
We know we should've been already done for long ago, yet we are still alive. We know that at this scale, it wasn't because of something WE did or didn't do.
It can only mean one thing: a very powerful entity consciously keeps us alive.
Can this entity be called "god"? If yes, why? If no, why?
Choosing either way tells nothing about you and your religious beliefs -- the universe is pure fiction, and known gods/religions don't work there. All I need from you is raw thought process.8 -
So very recently I launched a website for a nonprofit organization that I’m a part of. But there’s a black hole somewhere. Users register in order to see parts that are private for our organization’s eyes only. I made the field required - email field that is. Yet the registration is slipping through that are blank because they have no email and therefore we can’t finish the process of registration. I cannot for the life of me find the black hole. Any ideas? This isn’t my first rodeo I’ve been doing the stuff for 28 years and I am beside myself.23
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It started with a gut-wrenching realization. I’d been duped. Months earlier, I’d poured $133,000 into what I thought was a golden opportunity a cryptocurrency investment platform promising astronomical returns. The website was sleek, the testimonials glowed, and the numbers in my account dashboard climbed steadily. I’d watched my Bitcoin grow, or so I thought, until the day I tried to withdraw it. That’s when the excuses began: “Processing delays,” “Additional verification required,” and finally, a demand for a hefty “release fee.” Then, silence. The platform vanished overnight, taking my money with it. I was left staring at a blank screen, my savings gone, and a bitter taste of shame in my mouth.I didn’t know where to turn. The police shrugged cybercrime was a black hole they couldn’t navigate. Friends offered sympathy but no solutions. I spent sleepless nights scouring forums, reading about others who’d lost everything to similar scams. That’s when I stumbled across a thread mentioning a group specializing in crypto recovery. They didn’t promise miracles, but they had a reputation for results. Desperate, I reached out.The first contact was a breath of fresh air. I sent an email explaining my situation dates, transactions, screenshots, everything I could scrape together. Within hours, I got a reply. No fluff, no false hope, just a clear request for more details and a promise to assess my case. I hesitated, wary of another scam, but something about their professionalism nudged me forward. I handed over my evidence: the wallet addresses I’d sent my Bitcoin to, the emails from the fake platform, even the login credentials I’d used before the site disappeared.The process kicked off fast. They explained that scammers often move funds through a web of wallets to obscure their tracks, but Bitcoin’s blockchain leaves a trail if you know how to follow it. That’s where their expertise came in. They had tools and know-how I couldn’t dream of, tracing the flow of my coins across the network. I didn’t understand the technical jargon hash rates, mixing services, cold wallets but I didn’t need to. They kept me in the loop with updates: “We’ve identified the initial transfer,” “The funds split here,” “We’re narrowing down the endpoints.” Hours passed , and I oscillated between hope and dread. Then came the breakthrough. They’d pinpointed where my Bitcoin had landed a cluster of wallets tied to the scammers. Some of it had been cashed out, but a chunk remained intact, sitting in a digital vault the crooks thought was untouchable. I didn’t ask too many questions about that part; I just wanted results. They pressured the right points, leveraging the blockchain evidence to freeze the wallets holding my funds before the scammers could liquidate them. Next morning, I woke up to an email that made my heart skip. “We’ve secured access to a portion of your assets.” Not all of it some had slipped through the cracks but $133,000 worth of Bitcoin, my original investment, was recoverable. They walked me through the final steps: setting up a secure wallet, verifying the transfer, watching the coins land. When I saw the balance tick up on my screen, I sat there, stunned. It was real. My money was back.The ordeal wasn’t painless. I’d lost time, sleep, and a bit of faith in humanity. But the team at Alpha Spy Nest Recovery turned a nightmare into a second chance. I’ll never forget what they did. In a world full of thieves, they were the ones who fought to make things right. Contacts below: WhatsApp: +14159714490
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