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Toilets and race conditions!
A co-worker asked me what issues multi-threading and shared memory can have. So I explained him that stuff with the lock. He wasn't quite sure whether he got it.
Me: imagine you go to the toilet. You check whether there's enough toilet paper in the stall, and it is. BUT now someone else comes in, does business and uses up all paper. CPUs can do shit very fast, can't they? Yeah and now you're sitting on the bowl, and BAMM out of paper. This wouldn't have happened if you had locked the stall, right?
Him: yeah. And with a single thread?
Me: well if you're alone at home in your appartment, there's no reason to lock the door because there's nobody to interfere.
Him: ah, I see. And if I have two threads, but no shared memory, then it is as if my wife and me are at home with each a toilet of our own, then we don't need to lock either.
Me: exactly!12 -
If restaurants functioned like Microsoft:
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer;what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.009 -
Inspired by @h3ll, this is a combination of current and former coworkers:
Awkward Wizard:
This guy has the social skills of a microwaved dog turd. He is a genius, but working with him is about as uncomfortable as sticking a grill skewer in your eye and twisting it repeatedly until close of business. He laughs at inappropriate times, and every time he does, an unborn child tears its own ears off. He explains things in a way that only himself and Satan understand, then talks to you like you're a child when you don't follow his logic. He is the guy you hide when the CEO is around. His code is immaculate.
Backstab McGillacutty:
This bowl of bile is the son of a bitch that takes credit for everybody else's work. When you do something good, he was miraculously involved, but when you mess up, this twat is the dicknose that brings it up in retrospective and calls you out by name to the boss. You can usually find these guys talking shit about the CTO, until the boss quits. Then they buddy up with the CTO and become a Joel Osteen-esque evangelist for everything the CTO wants in a shitty, underhanded attempt to climb the ladder. Fuck this guy.
Professor Fuckwaffle:
This coworker used to teach Computer Science classes. Their resume is amazing, and they can speak to the most complex of design principles. This is the shitstain that you hire because of their skill and knowledge only to find out that ol' fuckwaffle can't apply the shit they spout to save their wretched lives. You'll spend more time listening to fuckwaffle lecture than you will reviewing their code (because they cant fucking write any!) You know the saying, those who can, do, and those who can't, teach? Yeah, that shit was written for Fuckwaffle.
Last but not least:
Scrumdumb:
This guy isn't even a coder. This guy is worse than the the scum you pour out of the bottom of a slow-cooker that you forgot to wash last time you made chicken. He's a non-technical PM. You know the type, right? He usually says "cloud infrastructure," "paradigm," "algorithm," "SDLC," etc but has no grasp of any of them. He often opens his dumpster to spout off something like "You can just create a new class for that" while talking about HTML. I won't waste any more breath on Scrumdumb, he already creates enough work for me.3 -
When you're hard at work on an algo but forgot to take your ADHD medicine so the squirrels are fighting outside but need to check Facebook statuses and having a dance party to Cotton Eyed Joe is a great coworker on LinkedIn which is now coded in Ember JS is weird compared to Python and my pencil is a funny color and my keyboard is shiny. I forgot the punchline. I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal. What was I doing?8
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Bored waiting for code to compile so here is a joke someone sent me last week .....
A man walks in a bar with his pet monkey. He sits down and orders a drink, meanwhile the monkey is running around all over the place and jumps up on a pool table. He grabs the 8 ball, shoves it into his mouth and swallows it hole.
"Holy crap!" says the bartender, completely livid. He says to the man, "Did you see what your stupid monkey just did?"
"Nope. What did he do this time?" says the man.
"He just swallowed one of the balls off the pool table, whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, well I hope it kills him 'cause he's been driving me nuts" says the man.
After finishing his drink, the man leaves.
A few weeks later the man returns to the bar with his monkey. After ordering a drink, the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. Up on the bar, he monkey finds some peanuts. He grabs one out of the bowl, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your stupid monkey did this time?" he asks.
"What now?" responds the man.
"He stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the bartender.
"Well, what do you expect?" replied the man. "Ever since he ate that pool ball he measures everything first!"4 -
I really fucking hate when people or companies do shit like this..
Apparently Google is changing the salad emoji, which is a bowl that contains lettuce, tomato, egg, onion and stuff like that, to the same, but without the egg.
Why you may ask?
Well.. they did it to "make it a more inclusive vegan salad".
ITS JUST SOME WHITE PIXELS FOR FUCKS SAKE. How would any vegan, besides the crazy ones, be upset about a moist egg in their crisp salad?
I cant even.. im out of words.. fuck.
Additionally, the news page i read it on have been so kind to host a poll of what people think about it, whether its a good idea or not.
Ill let the image speak for itself, if you really need a translation, dont use google translate, ask in the comments.
42 -
Reason #387 I wish I worked from home:
Some dude at this office needs to be banned from toilets. I'm pretty sure he craps in his hand then tries to swat it into the bowl with a slotted spoon.2 -
Yesterday my father called me and asked if I'd have a look at his website to exchange his logo with a new one and make some string changes in the backend. Well, of course I did and hell am I glad I did it.
He had that page made a few years ago by some cousin of a friend who "is really good with computers", it's a small web shop for car parts and, as usual costumer accounts. Costumer Accounts with payment infos.
Now I've seen a lot of bad practices when it comes to handling passwords and I've surely done a few questionable things myself but this idiot took the cake. When a new account was registered his php script would read the login page, look for a specific comment and add a string "'account; password'," below into to a js array. In clear text. On the website. One doesn't even have to breach the db, it's just there, F12 and you got all the log ins.
Seriously, we really need a licensing system for devs, those were two or three years this shit was live, 53 accounts... Now I've gotta decipher this entire bowl of spaghetti just to see if he has done any more unspeakable things.4 -
Lesson of the day:
If you're really into a YT video on your laptop while eating noodles and your phone is on vibrate and you know you get scared very easily, keep the bowl away from it. I repeat: keep it away from it.4 -
Obligatory DevRant sticker post. Cheers from Bulgaria, bowl of shkembe to scale.
I got 2 sets (one for free).
Now I need a place to stick'em.
18 -
!dev
I'm a dumbass and caught the falling bowl of boiling cheddar broccoli soup with my residual limb, which means that my elbow is burnt and makes typing a major pain in the ass because of the damage.
I also have to grade 5 assignment groups of roughly 30 submissions and leave feedback.
Typing hurts and I regret life at the moment.
And I'm still on call for my primary job.
Please send jokes to make me feel better.42 -
Son a fucking bitch!
I ordered a brand new shiney SSD for my Inspiron 7573 which came in today. I was all set up with system backups just in case and install media for Debian and Windows standing by. I pull out my tools and realize that the laptop isn't going to have a screw inside to hold the drive in since it didn't come with a SSD. No big deal, I pull out the magnetic bowl of extra screws from all the previous repairs I've done and start looking for the screw I need. I can't find the screw I need so I go online hoping maybe I'll find someplace in town that will have one single screw with no luck.
Now I get to wait 2 more days for the screw I need to arrive from Amazon.
12 -
My best case "Deploy Bittersweet Pipeline":
Prep a bunch of carrots, cucumber and tomatoes for day snacks. Roll & cut some pasta noodles, cook stock with fresh veggies & mushrooms, add some droopy soft boiled egg(s) to the broth, drizzle in some black garlic hot sauce. Enjoy that breakfast with an unsweetened Australian flat white and a half-liter cup of chai spiced green tea. Watch some science/tech/woodworking/cooking YouTube videos while feeding my Bittersweet Jr girl.
(yeah my mood is determined for about 90% by food)
Fire up docker compose & IDEs, and start refactoring code and migrating/fixing old databases.
My worst case "Fatal Incident Bittersweet Repair & Recovery Process":
Stuck while refactoring the worst kind of trash code since 9am.
Pour a glass of Tawny Port at 9pm. Pour a glass of cognac at 11pm. Unwrap 3 chocolate bars and break them into chunks in a bowl. Look at IDE, get nauseated, not from the booze or chocolate, but from the code.
Can't fall asleep because code is too broken, that crap should simply not exist. Take some LSD and amphetamine, can't sleep anyway. Start splitting several 10k-line-long files into smaller classes, type until my fingers have blisters. Empty two bags of Doritos, order a large Falafel with extra garlic sauce at 4am.
Fall asleep at 5am with my face on my keyboard, wake up at 9am with keyboard pattern on my skin.
Cook some hangover noodles.
Call work that I'm taking 3 days off. Feed Bittersweet Jr while I watch some YouTube channels with her. Bittersweet has successfully rebooted.1 -
She died..
My gold Fish with freckles, I was calling her JavaScript. because I brought her as a joke and became the messier one on the bowl.2 -
I'm gonna cheat a little since i don't like alcohol 😁
School projet, designer sends me final design less than 24 hours before the deadline, i coded all night long. 17 hot chocolate bowl. I never got the luck to be in the same flow than that night. Each hot chocolate made me stronger, lines of code were running, CSS was perfectly good first try.
Once code was submitted, i slept for like 14 hours. I woke up hugging my pillow.
I'm pretty sure i was drunk with hot chocolate.1 -
Just read a comment on rant that stated "You’d be surprised as how disgusting people are especially in the work setting.". In regard to bathrooms. This reads true, for my current place of work
I was about to reply to that, but I thought this is worthy of a rant of its own. Allow me to quote some emails...
"We have had reports of excrement being left on toilet seats, which surely could be seen by the person responsible before they left the cubicle. "
"very poor toilet hygiene in some the ladies toilets.
Firstly, someone person should I say.... has used a toilet brush to clear a blockage in the Ladies loo nearest [removed]. They obviously couldn't unblock the toilet due to the density of the blockage and therefore.. returned the brush to it's holder full of the blockage!! "
"The phantom "snot" wiper is back and is using the back of the toilet door nearest the [removed] as a tissue! Again.. the poor Cleaner has had to clean this up... "
"Toilet paper being put in the Urinal blocking the system in [removed] and faeces being left on the toilet floor in [removed]. This goes without saying that this can't go on and it's not the cleaners job to be cleaning such messes! "
Its ever worse in our other office that contains a call centre. A lady was fired for leaving shit in the stairwells on multiple instances. She had been fired from her last role for the same thing.
There were also reports of subway subs been left in the toilet bowl.
You also find the most curious items in the waste bins (they have no lid, we're not search through them - just to make that clear) everything from half eaten sandwiches to watermelon.15 -
Since this post was too long for devrant's 5k sign limit, I split it in several parts. I will try to make each part comprehensible as a standalone post. This is part one of WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU? saga. A tale of empathy, competence and me being a dick, even though I didn't really want to be one. The part one is titled: "Bad times, good times". It may or may not have any value. It probably won't be funny.
I dedicate this to every single junior or entry level dev out there, struggling to find a job in their field.
=====
What do you think, how long does it take for junior with 6 months of commercial experience to find a dev job? If your answer was "idk", you're right. If your answer was "3 montths maybe", you're also right. At least this is how long it took for me. I am writing this at 2am, couple of hours after I managed to get employed. I am happy. My employer probably is happy too. My recruiters certainly are. The guy whose offer I had to reject after we were almost ready to sign the contract, on the other hand, isn't. He probably hates me. We'll get to that one post at a time.
Let's move back in time a little bit. It's December 12th, 2019. It is third month after I left my family home. I don't ha0ve a job, I was living first in my older brother's apartment for a month, then I started to rent my own. I have literally no money, I'm in debts. I moved out because reasons that would make up for another couple of posts, and for said reasons I refused to get 'any job just to pay the bills'. You can imagine that I was in pretty bad situation, and my psyche didn't really take that shit too well either. My daily meal was a bowl of rice with a little bit of self-hatred on top. Gourmet.
At that time, my daily routine would consist of practicing music, practicing programming, trying to get a job and surviving. Some of my friends just turned their backs against me. I did a small rework of my contact list as well. It was a *hard* time. I had sent my CV to around a hundred different companies with very little to no response. Some of them required at least bachelor's in IT for their frontend dev. Some of them required experience I didn't have. Some of them just didn't care to answer me. And then that one day happened. Three different people wanted to meet me and talk about internships/job offers. I will share what happened next in next posts, but here's a quick spoiler. I got a job. Yes, I am hyped.
Dear fellow Dev. This is a small reminder. If you're having bad times, just remember that if you focus on what you need to do, you will be just fine. Sometimes it may take days of struggling, sometimes it will take months of eating mostly rice. We all... Most of us have been through this.
Next posts will be less inspirationalstufftelling and more storytelling. Let this post be a setup, a small context to keep in mind upon reading my next stories. Because it is quite important. For me and for the story.3 -
Tbh my current job is as close to perfect as I can imagine ever existing. The best and smartest engineers I've ever met (better than Google, better than anywhere), all working on something we think is really really important (autonomous cars), and solving hard problems every day (some of which no one else has ever solved before).
Only downside is an internal sense that when I'm not working I'm delaying a product that will save people's lives.4 -
You know what? I LOVE WFH! Why? Because I can make a nice bowl of popcorn whenever I feel like it, and continue working while chomping my fav snacks!15
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Had to go to a toilet real bad at a supermarket-restaurant combo, there was only one stall and someone hadn't flushed.
I can't believe I'm about to say this, but the toilet bowl contained the most impressive turd I have ever seen in my life.
You should've seen it. I went to the handicap bathroom instead10 -
So something annoying about the bathrooms here is that they are automatic flush only. There's always used toilet paper in the bowl because as soon as you move an INCH to wipe, it flushes. And you can't flush again.10
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Coworker wanted to explain something to me on a discord call just when I grabbed a bowl of milk and cereal.
It's all soft and mushy now 😔
On another note, today was my first day on the job 😁3 -
So hanging out with my in-laws tonight. It apparently is super bowl Sunday. I don't know a damn thing about football and could care less about it.
Them: who do you think is going to win?
Me: I guess the better team?
Them: yes but who are you rooting for?
Me: don't know who's playing?
Ahhhhhhhggg I can't stand sports people.
And there they are yelling at a TV like someone on the other side will actually hear them.
Does anyone else have a similar situation?15 -
TL;DR: Stop. Hating. On. Ads. Here are 5 reasons why:
1. "No one likes ads"
I love seeing *good* ads before I watch a YouTube video. Or I looked up videos that YT recommended because they sounded fun and they were fun:
- Coke - Hey Brother is an amazing and touching short film
- Fressnapf (="food bowl") had an incredibly enjoyable "things you didn't know about cats" video I clicked on purpose and it was good.
- I found JetBrains through ads (free for me, student perks. But tbh I use atom)
and I could name more.
2. What are the alternatives?
I know there are some non-profits and that's cool but you wanna be paid in your job, right? So ads are why Facebook (I know, Facebook isn't enjoyed here but), YouTube, stackoverflow, etc. Wikipedia asks for a few million dollars of donations each year because they don't run ads. Smaller businesses can't do that really. Hell, even codepen has a "sponsored" section. Imagine you would have to pay for all of those services.
3. "Manipulation"
isn't a bad thing unless you abuse it. I manipulate you when I say that I love codepen in the same way an ad does. No one forces you to use a product or watch an ad (you can look away and often times skip).
4. Adblock
What if everyone did that? Adblock blocks happened a while ago and the war between adblock and ad-senders is still ongoing. The moment you see an ad, you are using/watching etc something which the creators thought is worth making money off. If you don't think so, leave the site. I am an adblock user but if the site politely asks me to disable it and I enjoy the content - I will disable it with pleasure.
5. Targeted ads
Yes. The internet is a huge data-crawling piece of shit. But there are many more questionable or even dangerous ways of data-harvesting online. I am glad to see ads I like and not the ones my sister might like. Some services allow you to disable personalized ads. Or use vpn if you really want to.9 -
!dev
I just had one guy coming back to the house at 4am, again, and he made his usual grand entrance, slamming the doors, stomping on the wooden floor making all the creaking sound as he walk all the way to his room, which is right beside mine. And when he went into the bathroom, which is on the other side of my room, he slammed he motherfucking lid on the toilet bowl which was so fucking loud I literally jumped out of bed. I ended up not being able to sleep (I have a lot of trouble falling asleep), and when I tried to sleep in the afternoon to catch up on the missed winks, another motherfucking bastard started blasting fucking hardcore electronics in the living room which is right below my room. The same bastard also plays loud movies or music at 2-3am. I’ve told that bastard that comes home late to watch his noise but man he only minds the noises I told him and nothing else. As for the other fucker, he’ll say he’d keep it down but continues doing what he’s doing anyway.
I moved here cause I know that it’s usually a quiet place and away from the party kids, but I somehow ended up with a party kid and an insensitive fucker (This motherfucker had the loudest sigh of frustration when I knocked politely on his door last night. Yes I calmed down before I talked to him, but ended up deciding to not utter a word at all when I hear that sigh).
I should move out, but I can’t find a place before next term cause it’s way too late at this point. I am on a lease, but my landlord understands my situation, and he seems okay with breaking the contract.
Having been here as an international student for almost 2 years now, and having moved 5 times, this has been the worst nightmare of a bunch of people to stay with.
For those that has read of me ranting about this elsewhere, yes it’s that same fucking bunch that doesn’t clean the house.9 -
The person sitting next to me in scrum is literally eating honey roasted peanuts out of a cereal bowl with a spoon6
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Reading a 36 page article on REST for a course on OSS, and I'm pretty sure the combination of background sound generators (waves, fire, singing bowl, cat purrs) is what's going to get me through this exam...
PS: Recommend http://purrli.com for all demotivated, cat-deprived devs out there.2 -
Has any of you worked with someone claiming he's a "Senior Software Engineer" but he does not know what he's doing? I'm not saying I'm a very good developer myself but I know how to differentiate a good code from a garbage code and architecture. It's really becoming a pain in the ass...5
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Someone just left a small turd in front of the toilet bowl and stepped on it so now there's smeared shit on the floor tiles in a toilet stall.
Must be all the caffeine I guess.
Oh, and don't stand up too fast after taking a shit apparently, since I can't fathom how that happened.3 -
After weeks of burning the candle at both ends you finally get a good night's sleep.
You wake up and either have a skin condition or a beard had grown and you didn't notice. All joints sound like a bowl of rice crispies when you move and you're seriously beginning to identify with Rip Van Winkle. -
> [PM from a totally different project / team comments on already-closed 10-line PR] How about we [add a totally new feature involving several engineer-weeks to patch over a fixable bug in another part of the system] instead?
> [me] we can talk about that, but it's nontrivial and we should scope any work relating to it to be sure we're doing the right thing
> [him] [starts private email chain] this should be simple. Why isn't this as simple as that other change?
> [me] [explains why]
> [him] I think it should be simple. We'll talk about it offline tomorrow and maybe you can do it next week.13 -
"Can you go through this hours-long process to reproduce an issue i saw and debug it? I don't have bandwidth."
"Sure, but I'm pretty sure the issue is actually due to your recent changes in [related feature], and I'm pretty busy myself."
"No, that's not how that works. Please figure out the real issue." (Strongly implying it was my fault)
*Goes through hours-long process to reproduce* (yes this procedure could be improved but this is a rant not a planning meeting)
*Of course, it was his change*
"Oh. Well, it's not really a priority." -
It's one of those days where I have absolutely zero fucks left to give.
Was up all night wrestling with a segfault stemming from compiler internals (assembly, no less - zero debugging symbols). Now I just power-cleaned the apartment and need a bowl. -
At the end of the avenue, lived its creator. Well, used to leave. The weird half-house is hoarded, and his skeleton is there somewhere.
When flying above, I noticed a small enclave with fancy but small buildings. I put on my cloak and landed.
“What is it? It’s easier to answer what it is not”.
The hatch opened. I went in, about 30 meters. The hatch closed behind me. The tube-powered holographic screen lit up. “I think the secrets of the universe is more important than knowing today's weather”, she said, smiling.
I put on a blueprint of their superbug. Incurable, it had molecular ammo on it.
“Thanks”, I said, leaving. “Forgive my autistic antics. As for my cat, well, they copy their owners’ behavior, don’t they?”
And I took off.
I finally got some tattoos. I don’t know why, but all of them were about menstruation.
“I don’t want to let _him_ into our tattoo life club!”, my cousin said.
I then connected our M1A1 Abrams to a military tablet I stole from the avenue creator. “What’s that?”, my uncle said. “It’s the fourth time already that I get us new fiber optic cable. Think about my father! He’s dying!”
I hug my cousin. She was already dead.
This is why I’m stuck here. In the middle of nowhere, in a rusted trailer, naked, eating uncooked human meat from a dog bowl.7 -
Many of the time I mistakenly say DARK FOREST instead of Random Forest algorithm. But it's nt every one's bowl of ice cream. :D
-
I’m so done with people bruh. Getting friends an adult is literally just having pissing contests about status, money, and power. Like am I just supposed to sit there and really truly believe that something fucking POSITIVEEE will come out of my restraint instead of taking two hands and beating their face into a fucking bowl when they talk to me rude?!? “Like no I don’t mind at all how you mentioned your cool new house in that manner, I really hope it doesn’t burn down with your family inside :)” The amount of conceited, prideful, scumbag, asshole, penisbreath, pieces of raw shit that inhabit the earth makes me question my own validity for existing. 99.999% of people I would never want to marry, be friends with, or even really speak to - because you know what?!? - because why??!? - because it’s a waste of my own fucking time that’s why. I could think of a million things to do that would actually benefit us all instead of being entrapped in a useless fucking social experience with these fucks. Everyone is a obese fucking pillow princess, and I hope the only thing that they can eventually fuck is themselves. FUCK6
-
So there is this one teacher/dev where I just had a lecture. And I easily can say he is one of the best programming teachers I had so far. Not that what he says is a hundred percent correct (heavily influenced by his opinion, ex. Singleton being a good pattern), but he motivates you to think about what you do and the lecture. He saw that no one was following and said that no one could probably remember the start of the lecture and he was damn right.
He's just so open about it and said that it doesn't matter and you have to go home and practice. At the start he said that we all are programmers and not software developers. Explaining the difference and showing funny pictures. A fucking spoon build out of a fork and a plastic cup. But not reusable at all and might break when overheated by the soup. Genius explanation of the difference. On the other side was a spoon which could be hung up on the edge of the bowl without overhearing the end so you don't burn your hand. That is software developing.
Now the point is that I got a bit mad when he said no one here could develop software and when he asked if someone can explain what a pattern is it was my time to shine. Boom, on point explanation and a complement from him following in the question where I got the knowledge from and why I could explain specific patterns. The answer was a simple 'I learn about software developing and engineering in my free time' and then he just said that I'm a nerd. I was so proud and ashamed at the same time.
Long story short: be proud of us. Geeks and nerds are nice persons and I might just have earned some respect among my friends.
I just realized this is a rather long and unstructured rant but I really felt like sharing that little achievement of being recognized. -
Oh, I've pulled a lot of all-nighters. I love doing hackathons. I find myself most productive when I work on something in a single stretch. I have ADD that way. If I leave a project mid-way, that's probably the last time I'll be working on it; unless someone comes to me and reminds me about it.
Other than attending organized hackathons, I go on personal hackathons. When I'm in the mood to code something up in my free time, I just find some stupid, random idea to code and code it up overnight. (Oh, I have a very long list of projects that I can complete over the weekend)
Other times, I'll just be in the mood as I'm working on something and then lose track of time (and other bodily calls like hunger) as I finish it.
If my weekend looks very peaceful without any distractions, I put my hand in my project bowl and pull something up to finish it off over the weekend.1 -
everything is going as planned! :)
Learned Rust Lang. i loved it (that doesn't mean i am done learning na? No! never stop)
new language i could do game memory hacking in without worrying about C++ memory leaks or issues. it also compiles to assembly! another of my favorite languages!
(i use rust for game development and other stuff)
i am not leaving C / C++ though that would be harsh!,
i abandoned javascript for react and typescript.
to be honest the developer just made javascript and left us with a [object Object]
finished learning the android java api so im basically set anything i want to make i can just go on my pc, listen to music and write it out in a couple of days.
well phazor what are you going to do now?!
i will code till i am old.
i will leave my mark like a shid that made its skid in the bowl :)5 -
ughh I have to have sex with my hot blonde gf while the toilet bowl is full of the large pieces of shits I dropped in them. How can I get so much shit in my bladder it's insane.8
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!dev
So here I am at the chiropractor waiting and this family of 5 come in. One of the kids is barefoot and wearing a leotard, and the others just run around causing mayhem as children often do (I'm a father of 3 so I get it). None of that bothers me.
What bothers me is that they brought their puppy (,on a leash) as and a small bowl with food and water.
Wtf, this isnt a vet!
Cute dog though -
I suspect my more “senior” colleague on my team consistently thwarts my ideas and continues to make bad programming decisions because no one else wants to deal with the code we own and he’s just trying to have job security by making it so that he’s the only one who understands this bowl of spaghetti.2
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My coworker has a candy bowl he periodically fills up. However, he went on travel and failed to fill his bowl. So I created a candy bowl complaint/suggestion signup sheet for people to fill out while he is away. It reads:
<name>'s Candy Bowl Complaint/Suggestion Sheet
Complaint/Suggestion
<followed by a table with lines>5 -
Update:
Having a dump on a train is the equivalent of sitting on a bucking bronco that vibrates enough for you to feel like you're 1" above the bowl7 -
In the winter I move my desk in front of a heating unit, rest my feet on it and put a huge bowl of cereal by my side. Sometimes I fall asleep, but when I don't, I have my best ideas in this position.
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Don't you just hate it when a git pull request assigned to you doesn't have a descriptive title and no description at all? I think I'm having a migraine! #%!%^*#1
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The only thing I could think about during the 2017 super bowl halftime show was how they got the hand held lights to be pixel mapped. I mean, the guests of honor could move around, and the lights were still perfectly mapped.
Or they were just told to stand in a very specific place. -
And here it comes bois, the famous Monday Morning Mumbling is back, for everyone's pleasure.
Do you remember your uni years, when you had wonderful coding lessons, and you learned sick languages ?
I do aswell, since I'm still in uni.
But why, WHY, IN ALL OF GOD THOUGHTS, DO I STILL HAVE TO TAKE MATHS LESSONS ?
It's my fourth fucking uni year, and I'm still supposed to deal with math lessons which are about what I learned 6 years ago. And guess what ? I still failed the test since I fucking don't understand a single shit in maths.
"Uuuuh if yu wan tu derivate a function u hav to multiply ur derivated function basic expression with the derivate itself lul xDDD so funi"
FUCK OFF DUDES I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE SICK BIRD SHIT ABOUT MATHS. I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE LEARNING ABOUT BINARY TREES, MATHEMATICALS WAYS OF SPILLING YOUR CEREAL BOWL WHEN YOU HAVE TO LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES, NUMERIC WAY OF OPTIMIZE YOUR SINK SPACE WHEN YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO DO THE DISHES, JUST LET ME FUCKING WRITE CODE INSTEAD OF ANNOYING ME WITH UNEXPLAINABLE MATHS SHIT NOW !
I know maths are important, okay ? But I'm so fucking tired of learning this shit again and again and still failing those shitty tests where they only give you maths problems without any other goal than messing with your grades.
Fuck this shit I'm pissed off on so many levels, I wasted tons of money on a private school to enhance my résumé history, and now I'm stuck with some strange "f'(x)" boi that will ruin my year.
RT's appreciated, if you recognised yourself in this story, don't forget to send some biscuits to my postal address.
TL;DR : Why wasting your time on theoritical lessons when you could use your time to learn new dynamic technos, like C++98 ?2 -
First assignment of the algorithms, data structures and computability module Im doing for my degree.
Priority queues can all eat a bowl of dicks.
It’s just an insert method, I can insert a node into an empty queue, I can insert a new node at the start of the queue.
But trying to insert a node into a specific place in the queue is making my brain hurt.4 -
My in-laws seem allergic to keeping fruit on the fridge. In a 40° heat. No wonder half the fruit are spoiled by next morning.
My algorithm for storing produce:
Is it fresh produce? => (No) use another algo. (X)
Is it potatoes or onions? => (Yes) put it in a bowl in a closet (X)
::: Put it all in the fridge, dammit. -
Windows sucks ... Fucking die in bowl of water Microsoft you can't make a single thing that works as it supposed to...
Trying to connect to a WiFi past 30 minutes but it connects the default ones and the fucking progress bar keeps going you can't cancel it.2 -
Whether baked or no-bake, a strawberry cheesecake is a showstopper that combines the creamy richness of the cheesecake with the sweet and slightly tangy essence of strawberries. It’s a classic dessert choice for celebrations, springtime gatherings, or any occasion where the irresistible combination of cream cheese and fresh strawberries is sure to be a crowd-pleaser.
No-Bake Strawberry Cheesecake Recipe:
Here’s a simple recipe for a no-bake strawberry cheesecake:
Ingredients For Strawberry Cheesecake:
For the Crust:
1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/3 cup melted butter
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
Cheesecake Filling:
16 oz (450g) cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups fresh strawberries, hulled and diced
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Strawberry Topping:
1 cup fresh strawberries, hulled and sliced
1/4 cup strawberry jam or preserves
Instructions For Strawberry Cheesecake:
Prepare the Crust:
In a bowl, combine graham cracker crumbs, melted butter, and granulated sugar. Mix until the crumbs are evenly coated.
Press the mixture into the bottom of a 9-inch springform pan to form an even crust. Place it in the refrigerator while you prepare the filling.
Make the Cheesecake Filling:
In a large bowl, beat the softened cream cheese until smooth.
Add powdered sugar and vanilla extract, and continue to beat until well combined.
In a blender or food processor, puree the diced strawberries with lemon juice until smooth.
Fold the strawberry puree into the cream cheese mixture until evenly incorporated.
Assemble the Cheesecake:
Pour the strawberry cream cheese filling over the chilled crust in the springform pan.
Smooth the top with a spatula and refrigerate for at least 4-6 hours, or preferably overnight, to allow the cheesecake to set.
Prepare the Strawberry Topping:
In a small saucepan, heat strawberry jam or preserves over low heat until it becomes smooth and liquid.
Allow the jam to cool slightly before spreading it over the top of the chilled cheesecake.
Arrange sliced strawberries on top for decoration.
Serve:
Carefully remove the cheesecake from the springform pan before serving. Slice and enjoy! This no-bake strawberry cheesecake is a refreshing and delightful dessert that’s perfect for warm days or when you want a fuss-free, delicious treat.
2 -
https://youtu.be/7VTsFtwO0u0
so in the future it makes sense to have a digitized voice tell you that you picked a cherry out of a bowl. so what happens if you keep eating them ? -
I'll be learning how to build automated integration tests for a serverless infrastructure during the Superb Owl tomorrow. How about you?
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