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My "Coding Standards" for my dev team
1.) Every developer thinks or have thought their shit don't stink. If you think you have the best code, submit it to your peers for review. The results may surprise you.
2.) It doesn't matter if you've been working here for a day or ten years. Everyone's input is valuable. I don't care if you're the best damn programmer. If you ever pull rank or seniority on someone who is trying to help, even if it isn't necessarily valid or helpful, please have your resume ready to work elsewhere.
3.) Every language is great and every language sucks in their own ways. We don't have time for a measuring contest. The only time a language debate should arise is for the goal of finding the right one for the project at hand.
4.) Comment your code. We don't have time to investigate what the structure and purpose of your code is when we need to extend upon it.
5.) If you use someone else's work, give them the credit in your comments. Plagiarism will not be tolerated.
6.) If you use flash, you will be taken out back and shot. If you survive, you will be shot again.
7.) If you load jQuery for the sole purpose of writing a simple function, #6 applies.
8.) Unless it is an actual picture, there is little to no reason for not utilizing CSS. That's what it's there for.
9.) We don't support any version of Internet Explorer and Edge other than the latest versions, and only layout/alignment fixes will be bothered with.
10.) If you are struggling with a task, reach out. While you should be able to work independently, it doesn't make sense to waste your time and everyone else's to not seek assistance when needed.
11.) I'm serious about #6 and #7. Don't do it.47
Four months ago changed a laptop failing hdd and give it back to customer. Today I got a 30 minutes call because the computer "is not like before the repair, it doesn't work well".
*Thinks* Well, s#*@, before the repair the hdd had more than 2000 damaged clusters, which prevented even the os to start
*Says* "Could you describe me the issue?"
[ basically he was saying that since he started using IE as a browser, he didn't have Google.com set as the first page and that he had to bing it]
"When did the 'issue' start, If I may ask?"
>"Two weeks ago. "
Two weeks ago.
Two f*""#ng weeks ago.
Set aside for the nature of the issue, you blame my four months ago repair for a two weeks ago issue?
"The computer was better before"?
THAT F###ING MACHINE WAS LIKE A BURNING HOUSE - I RESCUED DATA FOR 2 DAYS JUST BEFORE THE HDD STARTED TO CRANK AT EVERY SPIN - I REBUILT IT TO GIVE IT YOU BACK FULLY WORKING AFTER YOU USED AS A FOOTBALL, AND NOW YOU BLAME ME BECAUSE THE
BROWSER ISN'T SETTED AS YOU LIKE
No,seriously, is like I rebuilt a burned house from scrap and now the owner blames me because in the kitchen sink the hot water tap is on the right side instead of the left side.
Please don't make junior developers feel they're a burden.
Have you ever googled "how to mentor junior developers"? It's quite mind-blowing how many articles, talks and panels are on this topic. And yet still junior developers are not feeling welcomed in their companies.
Yup, you guessed it, we also have something to add (based on our own experience):
1. Asking for help is not easy. Please don't blow juniors off by telling them to read docs when they ask a question. Always assume they've read it and did a sprint to solve the problem. They ask you, because they see you as a mentor and really need your help. If you can, spend more time with them and guide through the entire problem solving process.
2. Please don't think "I learnt it this way so you should too". If you're in charge of teaching a junior developer, don't expect them to be a carbon copy of yourself. Because even though in your opinion your approach is more "pro", they might not be there yet to use it properly. And last, but not least:
3. Of course, juniors will compare themselves with seniors on their team. And there'll be moments they feel so guilty and so afraid that they cost the company too much, that they need training, and supervision, or are between projects and are not bringing in any money, and they'll fear that their company regrets hiring them. Make sure they don't feel like a burden. As juniors, we often
have this misconception what is expected from us.
Dear tech companies, please set very clear expectations and tell your juniors you're happy. Don't get us wrong here. We don't expect unicorns, roses and pats on the back from companies. We do understand- this is business, and at the end of the day we all are here to make money. To do so, companies need to make smart investments. Junior dev with a great assistance, planned support, and a clear training program will become a great asset. It really is as simple as that.15
I've had my share of incompetent coworkers. In order of appearance:
1. A full stack dev. This one guy never, and I mean NEVER uses relationships in their tables. No indexing, no keys, nada. Couple of months later he was baffled why his page took ten seconds to load.
2. The same dev as (1). Requirement was to create some sort of "theme" feature for a web app. Hacked it by putting !important all over the place.
3. The same dev again. He creates several functions that if the data exists returns a view, and if it doesn't, "echo '0'". No, not return 0 or return false or anything, but fucking echo. This was PHP. If posted a rant about this a few months ago.
4. Same dev, has no idea what clean code is. No, not just reusable functions, he doesn't even get indenting right. Some functions have 4 spaces, some 2 tabs, some 6 tabs! And this is inside the same function. God wait until he tries Python...
5. Same dev now suggests that he become the PM. GM approves (very small company). Assigns me to travel to a client since they needed "technical assistance about the API". Was actually there to lead a UAT session.
Intermezzo, that guy went from fullstack dev to PM to sales (yes, one who calls clients to offer products) to business development, to product analyst in the span of two years.
After a year and a half there, I quit.
6. New company, a "QA engineer" who also assumes the role as the product owner. Does absolutely no tests other than "functional tests" in which he NEVER produces any form of documentation. Not even a set of test cases. He goes by "intuition".
7. Same guy as (6), hands me requirements for a feature. By "hands me" I mean he did that verbally. No spec documents, no slack chat, no Trello card. I ended up writing it as a card in Trello. Fast forward to the due date, he flips out because that wasn't what he wanted. Showed him the card. He walked away, without thinking of a solution how this mess should be handled.
Despite all this, I really don't want him (6&7) to leave the company. The devs get really stressed out at this job and he does make a really good person to laugh with/at.
- Was working in a JS file for a website.
- Decided to move file into a folder for better organisation.
- Made folder, copied file into it.
- Spent 30 minutes wondering why changes weren't working, questioning my JS skills and life in general.
- Called friend asking for assistance, he's as confused as I am.
- Realised while speaking to him that I never deleted the file that was copied, and had been making changes to that the entire time.
Needless to say I was a little bit embarrassed.3
I asked for a screenshot to help me assist with the problem.
I got an image inside a Microsoft Word document attached to a Facebook message.
COULDN'T YOU JUST ATTACK THE FUCKING IMAGE INSTEAD2
So Here's a story of how I severely messed up my mental health trying to fit in university.
But the bonus: Found my passion.
Her we go,
Went to university thinking it'll be awesome to learn new stuff.
1st sem was pure shock - Programming was taught at the speed of V2 rockets.
Everything was centred around marks.
Wanted to get a good run in 2nd sem, started to learn Vector design, but RIP- Hospitalized for Staph infection, missed the whole sem and was in recovery for 3 months.
So asked uni for financial assistance as I had to re-register the courses the next semester. They flat out refused, not even in this serious of a case.
So, time to register courses for third semester, turns out most of the 2nd year courses are full, I had to take 3rd year courses like:
Social and Informational Networks
Human Computer Interaction
Parallel and Distributed Computing (They had no prerequisites listed, for the cucks they are: BIG MISTAKE)
Turns out the first day of classes that I attend, the Image proc. teacher tells me that it's gonna be difficult for 2nd years so I drop it, as the PDC prof. also seconds that advice.
Time travel 2 months in: The PDC prof is a bitch, doesn't upload any notes at all and teaches like she's on Velocity-9 while treating this subject like a competition on who learns the most rather than helping everyone understand.
Doesn't let students talk to each other in lab even if one wants to clear their friend's doubt, "Do it on your own!" What the actual fuck?
Time for term end exams and project submission: Me and 3 seniors implement a Distributed File System in python and show it to her, she looks satisfied.
Project Results: Everyone else got 95/100
I got 76.
She's so prejudiced that she thinks that 2nd years must have been freeloaders while I put my ass on turbo for the whole sem, learning to code while tackling advanced concepts to the point that I hated to code.
I passed the course with a D grade.
People with zero consideration for others get absolutely zero respect from me.
Well it's safe to say that I went Nuclear(heh.. pun..) at this point, Mentally I was in such a bad place that I broke down.... Went into depression but didn't realise it.
I met a senior in my HCI class that I did a project with, after which I discovered we had lots of similar interests.
We became good friends and started collaborating on design projects and video game prototyping.
Enter the 4th sem and holy mother of God did I got some bad bad profs....
Then it hit me
I have been here for two years, put myself through the meat grinder and tore my soul into shreds.
This Is Not Me
This Wont Be The End Of Me
I called up my sister in London and just vented all my emotions in front of her.
Been a long time since I felt that.
I decided to go for what I truly feel passionate about: Game Design
So I am now trying to apply for Universities which have specialised courses for game design.
I've got my groove again, learnt to live again.
Learning C# now.
It's been a long hello, and If you've reached till here somehow, then damn, you the MVP.
Spammer just called me saying my windows computer was hacked and that I needed his assistance, I agreed and let him download free malware remover tool and other random shit, apparently the terminal commands were not working so he asked what version of Windows I was on, I said XP, and he continued and gave up on the terminal. tried to ruin whatever malware he put on the thing, finally he went to find what version I was running, and found out I was on Linux.6
I have one! Once upon a time (about a year ago) my mom went online shopping on her own. Her husband was out of town and so she had no assistance. At about 10.30 pm she called me, freaking the fuck out that she entered her credit card details on a sketchy site and they charged her for more than she ordered. She was in hysterics, didn't know what to do. Superwoman to the rescue, I tell her to go and deactivate her card and jump on a train back home (she was crying on the phone she was so scared, couldn't just leave it until morning) fast forward an hour, I'm in my hometown, she picks me up and we head home to check out the situation, and... She had just received the email invoice twice. They hadn't charged her twice, just some email mishap made the email appear twice and she never thought to check her bank account before summoning me home 🙄😂 we laughed for a while and I got a home cooked meal so it's all good but Jesus christ mom. What would you honestly do without dad?1
It's hard to explain my workday without it sounding totally depressing. "Today the director of the company requested my PERSONAL assistance to restart his computer, it was so cool"2
I'm a junior dev working with some very proprietary applications. The point is, I can't Google for code solutions at all.
The seniors are all very put upon and too busy to offer much actual help unless it's urgent.
I beg for assistance until I'm blue in the face and eventually stumble my way to something resembling the solution.
I get one of them to review my code, and while they do I point out all the places I STILL need help.
They don't answer any of those questions but damned if they don't have opinions on how my comments should be formatted.
General approach : I'm wasting my time by just sitting in front of computer all day. Since I'm freelancer, almost all of my work can be done at one place. They think, I should get a REAL job.
When they need help with tech : I'm the guy who knows everything about tech and can fix their mobile, printer, toaster, washing machine and nuclear warfare.
When it comes to admiring what I do, I'm just a useless piece of shit but, when they need technical assistance I'm their lord and savior!!1
Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.
The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.
Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.
The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)
Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.
He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.
What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.
He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.
He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.
.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office
As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.
I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.4
Yes this is a rant about parents and work but I don't care!
So looks like my parents are going to kick me out because I don't have a full time job and according to them, I'm not looking...
I currently work in retail and have for the past 5 years and started working day 1 that I could have, been applying for IT positions when I'm one of the highest qualified on my area but get turned down so they can pay a teenager half the amount, apply for big retail chains that are "always hiring" like Coles, woolies and Kmart, get turned fucking down.
Don't qualify for government assistance as I'm just out of the earnings bracket, can't afford my own places, don't have my licence yet so I'm fucked...
But hey, atleast my parents will be rid of me and just dis-own me like my middle brother until I have a kid or they need tech support.
Why is getting work so fucking hard when you're qualified, I'm willing to even be a call centre guy but as soon as job possibilities come up I get fucked over time and time again -,-2
My current dream project is sailing a 21st Century Message in a Bottle across the Atlantic Ocean from US to Europe, satellite tracking it in apps and desktop environment and more importantly inspiring school children everywhere that anything you can imagine is possible. Fortunately, the project is rapidly becoming a reality - here's how:
- teamed with a few amazing devs virtually
- team created an effective infrastructure for communication and knowledge sharing
- researched oceanic patterns, satellite communications, sensors, material design, recovery logistics...
- developed budget and received funding sign off
- created realistic, yet aggressive project plan with deliverable dates
- built relationships with two Universities for Oceanic knowledge assistance
- developed a partnership with NOAA and will share info
Oh yeah, we did all that and are having fun in only 25 days so far! More challenges to come but we embrace the challenges!1
A frontend dev asked for my assistance in writing a tricky helper function, told him i'd be back in 5, as I was just heading out the door for a cup of coffee.
Came back a little later, maybe 10 minutes instead of 5, and he says:
"Nevermind, I solved it by installing plugin XYZ v4"
Checked out the codebase for said plugin afterwards, and discovers it's around ~30MB of code, and adds a shit ton of "premium version" ads to the backend.
YOU FUCKING TWATFACE! YOUR LAZY FUCKTRUMPET ASS COULDN'T WAIT 5 MORE MINUTES?!!
I NOW HAVE THE MISFORTUNE OF REWRITING YOUR ABYSMAL DISASTER, OR DEAL WITH THIS PIECE OF SHITWARE..4
So it's been a while since I've posted as my first few months at the new job have been amazing. But now I'm running into issues with a team member that I need to get off my chest.
So my new job is front end development in React. I'm brand new to it but I was promised time to learn on the job. On my first day the team member I'm now having a conflict with offered me help. He's the most experienced so I gladly took it.
But now several months in I've noticed his teaching style doesn't work for me. He'll go into long theoretical explanations whenever I ask a question and I get overwhelmed with info. And he gets frustrated with my inability to process all that, because he feels I waste his time. So frustrated that at one time he just walked out of work and drove home, which was really upsetting to everyone.
My direct manager and my mentor in the company (our software architect), as well as our scrum master (a consultant) are all aware of the conflict. I've been assigned another colleague to help me out. Things were going ok but he got sick so I had to turn back to the team member with the conflict for assistance. Of course frustrations arose again.
Now yesterday during our sprint planning meeting we had to say what we liked and didn't like about the past sprint. And I brought up I feel I need time for learning and that I don't know where to put that, since we don't have a task for it. I said I also felt past approaches weren't working out and that I'd like to take up the offer to go on training. I was trying to word it very neutral to not upset my colleagues, as they tried their best. But the colleague who I had previous conflicts with took it personal and accused me of not listening and that is why my code is awful. While all I've been doing is rely on his code to learn. Long story short it got very heated and direct manager and scrum master who were present had to shut it down.
I'm thinking of talking to my manager and mentor today. It really hurts when you're accused of maliciousness when all you did was try. I know my code isn't perfect. But I get no help in improving it beyond long winded explanations about theory. If I ask for practical help he says he won't write my code for me. Which isn't what I expect. When I say I followed his example he says I shouldn't copy. But two sentences later he says if I don't know what I am doing I should listen to him. It's really very confused and demotivating as a beginner, but he makes it about how I waste his time and ruin his job for him. I understand he tries his best and that it has to be hard when someone seemingly is as dumb as a bag of bricks. But my manager and mentor told me they support me as long as I continue to show improvement. So I asked for alternatives (training, time to study, or whatever I haven't thought of) and now I feel like the bad person. I'm already someone with crippling low self esteem, and I'm thrown into the deep end. It kinda sucks when someone then tells you from the sideline you can't swim and how swimming works. How about tossing me one of those floaty things and then maybe accept I need to hold on to that for a bit and my technique will need work until I can make it on my own? :(3
Somebody Make this:
Imagine a sticky note kind of app, that has a twist. It is tied into your browser. So the notes are viewed based on urls or websites. This way you could visit a website, drag a sticky note on to it, type what you want, then that note will pop back up the next time you visit that site. I think it would be a nice things to use for programming (API assistance), simple note taking, or specific reminders you want to see the next time you visit a website. Get what I'm saying?7
A story from back when I was looking for a new job,
tl/dr, I didn't see that coming, and I don't think I would trust any recruiter ever again,
It all started when I accidentally stumbled upon a blog/job hunting site which I joined because it looked cool, as I was looking at the job postings, I got an email from a recruiter from the site, she checked my linkedin and asked if I would like any assistance to a personalized job hunting process, the message sounds like a template, so I thought it was a spam, I ignored it at first,
Next day, the recruiter emailed me again asking about yesterday's email, there was no harm I thought, so after a brief exchange of information,I gave my cv, and I was to be contacted by another recruiter who is more specialized to my preference,
Shortly, another recruiter contacted me and asked for an online session, I agreed and we talked through skype, we had a bit of lengthy discussion, past experiences, technology, people I worked with, etc, and potential job openings, by the end, he decided that there are 3 suitable ones and we'll try them one by one, first one is a startup in europe,
Within a couple of days I was set up on an hr interview from the company, usual hr stuff, why going abroad, experiences, technologies, next recruitment process, etc,
The next in line was a technical interview with one of the devs, pretty cool guy, I answered all of the technical questions properly, overall I think I managed to impress him,
After that I got a take home test, to make a simple app in react native, lucky for me it was a public holiday the next day after I got the test, so I can focus on it, I finished and submitted it later by the end of the next day,
A week goes by, and an email from the hr came, they decided not to hire me because they already hired someone else, I politely thanked them for their time, and sent my regards,
The hr emailed back ensuring that there's no problem with me in terms of technical skill or as a person, it's just by the time I entered the process, there is someone who is already in the end of the recruitment process,
At the end the hr mentioned that if I would be okay with it and if there's another position open, we can pick up from where we left off, I said yes (probably was just lip service anyway)
Another week pass by, and there's no news from the recruiter, so I sent an email about the interview and asked about the remaining job posting,
Surprise, he said that the company could not be contacted, he tried contacting the hr and the ceo but there were no response, he would try to settle this first at the time, "I'll keep you posted" he said,
More than a month passed by and I asked for an update, same reply,
"Still no news from them"
"I cannot contact any of them"
"It's driving me crazy"
"Maybe you can try contacting them yourself if you find them on linkedin"
"Since we referred you to them, so it's still tied to us"
....well, what the fuckery? I went from a job hunter to a bounty hunter? I already mentioned that they rejected me (aside from the future prospect offer from the company),
I replied that at this point I would prefer to look at other opportunities, he never replied back, soo, that's one prospective relationship down the drain then,
My guess is that the company probably didn't want to pay for recruitment fee, since they mentioned a "next time" offer for me, and probably the recruiter caught up on it, my application status on the site is still "interviewing" up until now, and it has been more than 6 months since then,
Not sure whose at fault here, but I'm sure as hell can't & won't use the site again,
A new administrative assistant joined the company I work at. I presented myself and told her that I'm doing devops. After a couple of days she sent me a massage asking for my assistance. Very curious of what could that be I approached her workstation, and then she told me her mouse is not working and asked me to fix it.2
I recently realized that I've been using 2 text editors and 1 IDE pretty much at the same time for different purposes.
Atom -> Code Beautification (atom-beautify is simply the best)
VSCode -> for actual coding (blazing fast and quite good completions)
Webstorm -> cleanup the code, optimize imports
And that made me thing why is it so hard to have all these things in one application (be it a core feature or a plugin/extension). And then I realized smth, only webstorm more has all the features built in, but I don't need/want full IDE for web development (Angular / React) alas it has great features like component automatic imports etc, but not a deal breaker.
So I am having a dilllema. On one hand, Atom has everything I need (especially atom-beautify, my OCD is at peace) except for proper completions (partially solved with extensions) and terminal integrations. On the other hand, VSCode is very fast, has good code assistance but half-broken import completions and terrible code beautification even with extensions such as jsbeautify that require you to have a separate file for each project instead of it being an editor setting/plugin like in Atom.
/* insert joke here */ When will Atom and VSCode go super Saiyan mode and become "Atomized Visual Code" :P I wanna stop bunny hopping between editors!2
A connection was looking for a developer in the city my brother-in-law recently moved to (for my sister's career), so I connected them. They exchanged a couple of emails, and he has an on-site interview tomorrow!
He and I are both .Net developers, and I'm older/more experienced, so I offered to rearrange my schedule to help him with some interview prep tonight.
He said no, that he's pretty confident about things, that he'll do some studying and research on his own.
Good for him and his confidence, but I'm kinda salty that he didn't take me up on my offer. I'm pretty damn clever. How dare someone reject my offer for assistance?? I hope the interview goes well of course but if it doesn't I'm very much going to feel some silent "I told you so!"7
This is why i could NEVER work a helpdesk job - yesterday corporate head office sent out a company wide email, including the helpdesk address. Helpdesk automatically creates a ticket for any emails, attaching the original email for reference. This morning I see at least 10 helpdesk tix, emailed to me because i was on the original email chain, created by dumb-dumbs saying things like "all these emails must be a computer glitch" "I do not require assistance" without realizing if they just stopped replying they would stop getting the emails!
Helpdesk is SWAMPED with legitimate work but lately theyve had to deal with things like this, I feel terrible for them1
What a fuck.. the best way to begin your day?
"We have an assistance session with client for you!". At 9 o'clock2
During college, I was unable to compile a program during lab sessions. So I decided to ask the assistance of Technical assistant. He went through my code for like 5 minutes and said :
"You forgot to add Comments"
To which I replied :
"But sir what that does have to do anything with the program"
His reply was :
"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, DO YOU WANT ME TO DEDUCT YOUR LAB MARKS"4
I was getting assistance over screen share to install an application on my work computer. The person helping me was sending commands through chat for me to enter into command prompt.
At one point I needed to change directory but it didn’t work. I asked what the problem was and they responded with D:
My immediate thought was that I’d done something terribly wrong and irreversible, until it became clear they were just having me switch to the D drive.2
My Win 10 stopped updating 2 months ago. "Windows update database error" it says. No fix worked, the only thing to do (according to Microsoft assistance) is to reinstall the whole system. Only because i clicked on "postpone" to the last one.
I really miss Windows 7...4
"Dear Windows staff,
To think a fatal error screen can be shown beautifully is likeable.
To add in a QR code to be redirected to some assistance is likeable.
But like things that are likeable, THEY DON'T NEED TO BE REGULARLY SHOVED TO THE FACE !
One who desperately wants to shutdown Windows Update once and for all.8
I started doing teaching assistance in an Introduction Course to R (for the 3rd year in a row); for the big majority of them, this is the first course where they learn some basics of coding.
Now, I know many of us were the same when we started, but sometimes I wonder... have I ever really been as lost as some students? I mean, I had to teach to a student how to move a .txt from the downloads folder to another folder. Wasn't this supposed to be the digital generation?
Even my code is never as frustrating as teaching a programming language... I forecast more rants in the following days!8
I have an idea but no time to build it. So I'll throw it out there and see if anyone does it.
How many times have you had an idea that just couldn't get off the ground without a little assistance. Where do you go? How to "pay" them for their work? Etc.
The development community needs a place where you can volunteer to help with side projects and get paid in karma... which you can then later use to "pay" other developers to assist on a side project of your own.
We are already a community that loves to give back, and collecting fake internet points. Why not put those to good use?9
After a management meeting about the companies first e-commerce initiative which I proposed and protocol-typed with assistance from internal and 3rd party resources, I returned with my boss to her office feeling on cloud nine as everything had been accepted / approved and the project was green lit!!!
She turns to me and says “I’m going down to the local sex shop and buying the largest dildo, strap it on, and then they will listen to me too”... I just sat, staring at the floor ...
Queue the crickets...4
Holy fuck EA (yea I went there)
So here I am playing NFS Heat, and my laptop is hot enough to cook eggs on the keyboard, no joke, yet spec wise I should have 0 issues running this game.
I switch on the turbo cool (basically spin the internal fans at full speed... It's an MSI) and this usually covers any heating issues, nope... not this time.
this fucker of a fan can't keep up , so I've turned down the settings from ULTRA, that's depressing, to Medium... it feels like 2006 showed back up, but here's this laptop still burning a whole in my fingers.
My GPU (GTX1060 6GB) is running at 95'c on Medium graphics, and LOW looks like I fell into a 8bit world with slow ass rendering.
Guess I'm going to need to get some cooling assistance for this thing.
Thank you EA for turning my 2.5k laptop into a stove top, I appreciate it.
I guess the name checks out, "heat"12
It's only Monday. Why do i feel so tired. T_T
- 3hrs check point meeting on Project A
- quick API fix, testing and dev assistance on Project A
- prelive deployment of Module B
- code review and enhancements for Script C
- prelive deployment and testing for Script C4
TL;DR: A new "process" for collaboration between teams was created in order to stonewall requests from my team.
A couple months ago, we created a new Dev team that specializes in writing internal tools. This team was staffed with internal developers, and got a separate manager. The whole point of this team was to collaborate with my dev team so we can both help each other develop tools that the company needs.
One of the developers that was on my team went over to this team while he and I were still working on a big application. For a few weeks, he still worked on this application as he normally would, and we'd sit with each other and work through features together whenever we needed a fresh set of eyes.
Well, eventually his new team got protective of him and created a new "process" for our teams to request assistance from one another. So now instead of just popping over to someone's desk to ask a quick question, you have to send an email to the team and request that you can borrow that particular developer for a question, and then the entire team sits down and discusses whether or not they're going to allow that person to answer your question. Then after a week of discussion, if they decide to allow it, they schedule a meeting for a week later, in which you will get the question answered.
So instead of just spending 2 minutes to ask and answer the question, you have to spend weeks in order to request assistance, and then schedule a meeting.
It's ridiculous, and it's all because his team got protective that he was working with another Dev team. Dev teams collaborate all the time, and work together. My team is constantly helping other teams, and we don't have this ridiculous process. We get asked a question, and we answer it. Simple as that.
Last week, I sent an email for assistance in completing a feature, and didn't hear back. I talked to the Product Owner for the team, and he said "Just send an email," to which I responded that I did and hadn't got a response. He said "Oh....." I then told my boss that this is an enormous bottleneck, and he seemed surprised hearing that this is a bottleneck.
A week passed and today I still hadn't got a response, so my boss reached out to the Product Owner to push him. Finally, I got a response and they scheduled a meeting to answer my question 3 days down the road. So it's going on 2 weeks to get this simple question answered.
Normally I'd just have the other developer come over and help, but apparently they yelled at him the last time he did that.
The issue is that the process was created with the assistance of our "senior" developers, who never work with this other team in this capacity, so they just nodded and smiled and let them put this ridiculous process in place.
Like, get off your high horses. You don't "own" him, he's allowed to collaborate with other teams. This question would've taken literally 10 minutes, but because of your new "process" you've turned it into a 2 week debacle and you've effectively delayed the app launch with your pettiness.
They say that this process isn't intended to prevent us from getting assistance, and that might not have been the original intention of the Product Owner/manager, but it's very clear that the developers on the other team are taking advantage of it and using it as a big stonewall so they can beat around the bush and avoid providing assistance when it's needed.
If this becomes a trend, I'm going to schedule a meeting (which apparently they love to do,) and we're going re-work this entire process, because it's extremely counterproductive and seems to only exist in order to create red tape.3
After working with a coworker on some odd issues, I finally decided to check on the actual ticket he needed assistance with.
From now on, we will optimize our HTML for aesthetic appeal in Chrome's dev tools. display:none is verboten.
Sometimes I wonder if I've had a stroke or if I've died and am in purgatory.
I started programming on a new POS machine and I noticed that sometimes it reboots randomly. The boss and the assistance said that it's a well known bug and happened also in all old machines. Ah.... Ok.
And that shit costs a lot and it's stupid as fuck. Really? How the fuck is it possible? Sometimes I think that if I put a cardreader and a printer in a 50$ android phone I would save a lot of time6
Anybody else sometimes do not like being a team lead?
I am the senior most person in my team (in fact took interviews of the rest of them). While I love the work and the team, I sometimes feel that I do not get to code that much. I am mostly assigning work, or helping others. Even if I get in the zone, there is always someone who needs some assistance or some meeting, which breaks the flow. Also the tension about non technical stuff like salary increments, giving feedback and assigning backups. I do love it mostly, but my ass is nearly always on fire. The team loves me though. I am still young, took this responsibility because the owner trusted me with this (he has no complaints). Thoughts ?2
A colleague insists that I be part of a meeting with DHL so I would learn something extremely complicated that they would need an IT.
Me: they probably need network assistance and I am only being dragged
Figures it's just a PDF form to fill the requests for collection! And they needed a technician to learn how to f@&$! Fill a form
- have/share an agenda as soon as possible
- each talking point should identify a problem. Make a list of strategic questions answers to which would make it perfectly clear what and by whom has to be done to resolve them.
- plan meeting duration according to the list of questions. Make sure you meeting room reservation gives you enough time
- take notes
- be prepared for a need for another meeting(s), if during that meeting it comes clear that:
> more/other people need to be engaged
> some things are not clear and need more investigation before going further
> you have run out of time
> there are other problems tgat need to be worked out and it might cobsume too much time to do this in a current meeting
- do not turn the meeting into a chat. It's counter-productive, tiring to the listeners and a waste of time
- do not try to cover many topics. The less, the better. Unless they are very tightly coupled.
- do not invite people you do not need or there is a very slim chance you will need.
- only schedule meetings when the situation needs to be DISCUSSED among multiple parties
- that being said, do not schedule meetings when it's more convenient to communicate otherwise, like email, chat, etc.
- after the meeting make a summary and send it our to all the participants. They might reply and clarify if you have misunderstood smth or missed some important point.
- during the meeting assign tasks to each other. Verbally. Make notes. After the meeting reflect them in jira, rally, wtv.
- while assigning tasks nake sure the assignees have no blockers to work on them and make sure they understand what, when and how should be done. Some tasks might be dependedt on each other, work the sequence out.
- while assigning tasks ask "for ETAs. They might be as silly as 1-hour-to-2-weeks, but they still let you know what to expect.
- offer your assistance to the task assignees if they need any while working on their tasks
- work on your language, grammar, syntax, etc. Reading texts with typos/mistakes is repelling
- be a leader, an authority everyone is looking up to. Not a boss.
- avoid saying NOs. Be more of a "do we really need this; can we do this some other way/time; I can't promise anythibg but I'll see what I can do about it" kind of person.
So I reverse engineered the
protocol of QONQR: World in Play and made a mitmproxy addon running locally inside termux that can see when I launch in the game and uses Termux:API to notify me when my ingame resources are replenished.
I direct the traffic through mitmproxy using Drony. I configured it so that by default Drony passes traffic directly to the internet except if it comes from the QONQR app.
The problem is that while Drony is running, there is a chance of network traffic being corrupted so I often get spammed by connection and ssl errors.
So I have to either continue sacrificimg my network integrity or stop getting assistance ppaying QONQR :-/
Does anyone know an alternative to Drony (basically an app that can connect you to a proxy without root using the android vpn api, if possible with filtering by app or ip)?
Also does anyone else have problems with drony on Android 9 or other versions? I don't really have an opportunity to test it.
Edit: It only took 4 tries to post this yay3
"You send an email this morning that you're going to reset the firewall, is there anything I can help with?"
"Well a good blowjob would be of great assistance"
I just road about 400km in a 150cc motorbike between yesterday and today to pick my notebook from the assistance shop. Oh my god, feels good to be home. Now with my baby boy recovered :)2
I'm getting more and more fed up with my fellow colleagues who encounter errors in the execution of their code and come to me like bumbling idiots..." I don't know ow what's wrong ... It's not working"
DID YOU READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE? I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE IT TELLS YOU EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT...EVEN IF ITS NOT 100% CLEAR GOOGLE IT. BET YOU FIND THE ANSWER
To add insult to idiocracy...I recently over heard grumblings of being displeased at current level - fuck off you lazy ass child - if you can't read an error and Google for the damned solution in today's era search engines and developer assistance, you don't deserve to call yourself a "Senior Developer"
People like to act like there's some great secret to becoming a competent developer...I'm posit over half is simple reading comprehension2
Actual validation message. I will omit the culprit to not shame them:
Your password must be at least eight (8) characters long and contain at least one letter,
one digit and three (3) special characters. No combination of any of the previously mentioned
requirements may be in a repeat success of one (1) or more. Special characters must be
separated by at least two (2) non-special characters, not including numbers. You may not
use more more than one (1) upper-cased and one (1) lower-cased letters in order together. You
may not begin or end your password with an uppercase letter or special character. You may use
no more than eight (8) special characters in your password.
If you need any assistance with this process, please send a message to our support staff.
Your IP Address: 184.108.40.2065
So.. i have been doing internship with a good startup for last 2 months. It was supposed to be a 3 month internship and then maybe a job offer. I accepted this , but with a disclaimer that i will be taking leaves for exams.
They looked like they didn't liked this condition, saying "we won't be giving pay for those days" , "you will need your manager's approval", etc, but later i took 5-6 continuous leaves for my papers and my manager( aka the ceo) wouldn't even read my approval mail ( i did got deductions for those leaves tho, but i was fine with it )
Now the situation is that my final end term exams are coming up. They are supposed to go on for 15 days somewhere in December beginning, but i also need an extra 10-15 days to cover the syllabus for it. Apart from those, there are other college stuff like Second Sessionals, internal practicals ,minor project report submission , etc are also coming up, that are supposed to take anywhere from 1 to 5-6 continuous days in the first weeks of November.
So i asked my company for 2 months of leave to handle my college environment. The tasks assigned to me are incomplete , but i am well versed in those and might complete it if i had more time. I gave them an option that i will resume my work from January and complete my 3 months of internship ( i currently am about to complete 2 months , November would have been the 3rd) , but they said that they are "freeing me" in the October only ( i guess this means that my internship is being terminated and am off from company's payroll). They also asked me to contact company once all exam stuff is over, but yesterday i got suddenly removed from the company's slack group. I am not sure how to look at this.
They have also asked me to prepare a report on what i have done. Now i can send them a report like what i would have given to my college : containing more useless info and a few points on my work . Or i could provide them with a deep report on what i did each day, what are the bugs , what are the resources that i found , what are the things that need to be enhanced, links to important groups and people... Etc . I have so much of information that i fear they might hire someone else to complete all stuff that i have started and my material would give him a kickstart.
But on the other hand , it was their office that i worked in, their ideas that i built upon, so i feel a moral obligation to provide all assistance to my replacement.
What should i do?
(tldr : company asking for a report on work you did during internship that was supposed to be converted to job . wwyd?)8
Well we all know about McAfee right
Well today i went to their online support and had a chat with one of their so called technicians. At one point of this so called assistance he asked me for remote control. Then as an employee of a renowned anti virus company he sent me a link to a java applet to be run in google chrome. I mean what the fuck. Didn't they get the note that chrome stopped supporting applets a long way back. Assholes2
Finished building an app for a client and sent it to them. Messaged them every week for a month asking if things were OK and if they needed any assistance (no invoice sent either). 6 weeks later I wake up to a stream of emails and missed calls about a small bug that they demand being fixed immediately because of an urgent business need. Fixed the bug. Sent invoice. It's been nearly 2 months and still waiting for payment. FML.3
I've left my MacBook to technical assistance for the thrid time. I've bought it on December (the touchbar model, on day one, arrives on December). I paid a lot for it and since then I got s broken key on my keyboard and a faulty display.
Now I got my battery swollen.
Fucking Apple. At least I'm happy with the OS and everything when it's hardware-faults free.
Oh yeah and I switched to MacBook for the construction quality... Bitter irony.
I hope this is the last fucking time, damn.7
anyone else get second thoughts about their bank when they see this kind of message after logging in?
"Online Banking is unavailable
We are really sorry we are preventing you from completing your banking today. Our technical teams are aware and actively investigating. Please know they are working hard to restore service as soon as possible.
Please call us at 123-456-7890 for banking assistance or information."
I am going to go freelance (starting a company and will be my own first employee) at the end of the month.
Was wondering what software some of you, who are also freelancers, are using to manage everything.
Quotes, invoices, jobcards, etc.
The bank through which I will be registering the company appears to offer some sort of online service for that purpose, but I have not seen it yet.
Any assistance will be greatly appreciated.5
Colleague alerted me to the fact I got a flat tire. Won't be able to slip out until my lunch break to check on the damage. It's been an expensive few months including this one so I'm going to have to dip into savings to cover the repairs. It's a small car so I don't have a spare and I don't have a repair kit but hopefully roadside assistance will be able to help. Never been in this situation before so I'm feeling like a dumb newbie.7
I'm now caught in an infinite loop on this project. The tests all pass but the identical code on an identical Live environment won't work. The API vendor is saying it's our code's fault and they won't support us. The developer is ignoring my pleas for assistance because the client won't pay for more of his time as they consider this warranty work even though we warned them that this was a one-of-a-kind custom job with a risk of failure.1
Git is way too complicated, but even then I still get painfully annoyed when someone needs assistance with using it. Especially when they're using some GUI I don't know. You mean this thing can't rebase??2
During the time I've been part of the DevRant community, I've noticed that users (including myself) sometimes contribute posts that are not quite rants. These are sometimes posts about the DevRant itself, reaching out to the community for assistance on a project, etc.
This inspired me to create an unofficial Slack chat for the DevRant community. I call it MetaRant.
If you'd like to join then please send an email to:
ericfledderman at me dot com9
If google improves their tech at this rate, what's gonna happen? Is it for the good or bad? They are getting access to the world data. Random thoughts.
In a public Office i had to do assistance, after a Black Out, workers noticed the software they use can't work online...nobody remembered to switch on the server...
When you're working in visual studio and trying to look through the suggested uses of an object and fucking shit keeps popping up all over the screen to tell what type things are and shit and you're just like "get the fuck out of the way I can't see shit you useless cunt fuck."
Visual studio buddy. You're killing me.2
I swear by all that is binary when I see Siri I’m going to curb stomp that skank. She single handedly makes me want to toss my iPhone X (which is heavy) into an Apple store window then pick it up to ask for assistance with a representative. I hate having to say “hey Siri!” just so she can take her sweet ass time to answer me. When I speak she fucking deaf and misinterprets what I say 80% of the time. English is my native language. I have to talk like a robot for her to get me. Alexa I’ve noticed works faster and more accurate. Siri take note!2
Am really confused between app development and web development. Where should I proceed guys?
Am CS student right now. Mostly learn C# (WPF, xamarin) in mean time.
But recently am getting love on Angular 4. For that I learn typescript (I know HTML and CSS basics btw) and willing to start learning it in upcoming vacations.
But thoughts coming in my mind is am doing good to get into web development? If yes what should I do with the knowledge of C# then? 😣😣. Or should I stick with app development and get dipper knowledge in it?
Really confusing stuff man. Am really need some good assistance on this topic!1
Best dev experience...a colleague who was my team lead when I joined a company as a "from-scratch" PHP developer, and gave me a ton of tips, assistance, encouragement and praise along the way. And for the bits that were not so good (on my part), he gave me constructive criticism delivered in a friendly and helpful way rather than chew me out.
And when the boss(es) of the company talked shit behind my back in meetings I was not invited to, about things they had no clue about (my performance as a developer)) he defended me and set the record straight.
Later he was demoted from team lead for office politics reasons. But was doing the same job as before, for less pay. Never complained.
His job consisted of, all at once, being the company IT/server/printer guy, first line customer support over phone and remote desktop, .NET and PHP developer, course holder to teach our customers how to use our product, and mentor to me.
Good guy. I'd give him a ++ if I could.
Need some assistance with Drupal and Dreamfactory.
Dreamfactory is an amazing piece of software that basically turns any database into a REST API. I mean any DB from SQL Server to MySQL and all kinds of others. For a connection to the API it uses JWT (JSON Web Tokens) which expire momentarily.
On Drupal, there's wsdata and rest client modules. Restclient is a module where you configure a connection via OAuth or HybridAuth to a rest server. The problem is that the rest server for dreamfactory uses JWT and i'm not sure how to get Drupal and restclient to connect that way.
Anyone familiar with js bxSlider? Anyone have time and willing to slack chat or email with me to provide some assistance? Yes I looked and am trying to get some help on stackedoverflow as well but this is time sensitive for work :(7
Assuming I live long enough to read the answers. :-)
Doesn't have a lot of information in it..
Never having had one, I don't know what it feels like before you have one, but I felt earlier like I maybe was going to have one..
I tried standing up, not sure if that helped.
I tried laying down, but sitting up, I think that might have helped.
I tried laying down on my right side, that seemed to help.
So, did I do anything right, wrong, etc.
What should I do the next time ?
Bare in mind I live in the middle of nowhere, and if I ask for medical assistance, I'll probably be dead before they arrive, so need solo solutions !
I want to avoid getting a heart attack here, not deal with one afterwards..
I thought something was off when I felt a slight localised pain in my heart area I hadn't felt before when I was sitting down.
It got worse if I moved.
Slowing my breathing seemed to help.
Of course it might not be anything like what you feel before a heart attack, so anyone know, or give some kind of input on what it might have been ?
Blood clot from sitting down too long maybe ?4
I want to build a voice assistance like Ok Google from scratch using ML.
Actually, I'm unable to figure out How can I achieve this 😅.
I want App like When I give command like Open DevRant then the App should work like Google App.
Ok all Good.
But I want to know If I write a code to open any App like Open APP_NAME
then It is coded by me not my app is learning this.
Sorry If I'm unable to Explain this to you.
I want to know Should I have to code all procedures for doing task like open any app, calling any number, etc myself or is there any way that my App can learn on its on 😔.
If somebody understand this please suggest me what is best for this.7
When you have a coding issue you can't fix after numerous searching and debugging you give up and talk to somebody about it to see if they'd know what the cause is.
*40 mins later* the conversation is about security habits, cryptography coding and the ballmer peak.
Sit back down after the detailed conversation and realise I forgot to get assistance on the code issue.
Whelp! Maybe I'll look at refactoring now and perhaps start from scratch if I cant fix it. FML1
Make the comments of a piece of code more complex than the code itself. I don’t know how I do this, it’s like a instinct or something like that1
My collegue make remote assistance for our software, dedicated to doctors in Italy. A doctor had the hd completely full, so it can't update the software and he call my collegue angry, saying "i've an update error, is your fault!!!" etc...after my collegue explain him he had to free space on the disk because there is no space, he had a genial idea! he brought new laptop, worst than the other one, because of the free space on disk!2
How many of us consider assitance like siri, google assistance as a real project? I found really few in numbers4
I know its not the place to ask for assistance. however, I am a student asking for help trying to figure out a dissertation project.
interested in all suggestions
Designed and worked on a website with no help and no assistance from the "head programmer" since he was leaving.
He told me he could have done what I have done since "you programmed it in bootstraps"
(Check tag for response)
Is there any way to detect the current in focus document in an ide and get its file path??
I want to write a python script (or other language if necessary) to check files for a commented out phrase in the first line regardless of if I’m using visual studio. vscode. Or pycharm
Tried google and simple stackoverflow search. Don’t want to do a stackoverflow question till my idea is more fleshed out
Preemptive thanks for your time and assistance 🙃1