*i am a teenager*

*i don't have credit card*

*can't buy anything*

*sees unixstickers is $1*

*pulls out a dollar from physical wallet*

*throws in the air*

*cries*

Finally have the home office I've always wanted, with only a few more things left to do in order to consider it finished.

Power company loves me.

Wallet hates me.

Downloaded a bitcoin wallet. Now i have two empty wallets.

Year 2013

- Trying this thing called Bitcoin
- Setup wallet in spare USB drive
- Buy 0.5 BTC (couldn’t afford more)
- Forgot about it

Year 2016

- Remembered I had bought BTC
- Looking like crazy for my USB drive
- Found it!
- Insert it into PC
- only one file in it
- essay_blah_blah_<sisters name>.doc
- poof, gone for ever

*eating at the local pizza restaurant*
me to waitress: hey do u guys support Bitcoin?
waitress: Yes we do!
me: great! I'd like to pay.
*waitress passes over the bill*
*i open my wallet and pull out a physical Bitcoin*
*waitress stares really confused at my Bitcoin with the scanner device in her hand*

Found my old Bitcoin Wallet on an old hard drive from 2011.

0.005 BC.

FML

Today I found somebodies phone... Together with his bank cards in the flip protection wallet ... I was able to turn it on and charge it so I awaited a call and now through the caller I was able to return it to its owner within 2 hours of finding it 🥰 got a nice bottle of booze as a reward

So I am running this crypto project that has dynamically generated private keys for a wallet stored in a Redis database. Nowhere else. The keys are generated on the fly.

At the moment of the happening the wallet had over 3.000 USD on it. I am testing new code locally, supposedly on a local Redis DB. Of a sudden, my code wipes the crypto keys and it turns out that I was connected to the live instance. 😱 Better don't ask me how.

Shock of my life. You know, when you turn pale and dark in your eyes, blood stops in your veins and you just want to die? Worst-case scenario that could have happened. All that money lost in crypto space.

Turns out, my good Redis hosting company kept backups for the past 7 days. Keys restored. Happiest moment of my life.

In the distant year of 2022.

Safari changes its logo to more appropriately reflect its position as the new Internet Explorer.

Chrome monopolized the spyware market and is facing another antitrust investigation.

Mozilla finally managed to fire all the developers working on Firefox and replaced them with highly trained dead monkeys.

Brave successfully consolidates itself as a cryptocurrency wallet and leaves the browser space.

Edge has two new users.

Who the **** is Vivaldi

*Sees a Fly fly out of the wallet*
"There was a bug in my wallet, no wonder I didn't have any money"

my employers' budget and my wallet for job :((

Apartment owner tells me to get out for a few hours while he repairs some stuff around the house . Get laptop , get wallet , go to kfc , go to order , only have money to get a large coke and a coffee , set up laptop , start working on my 2D game project , one hour later hobo comes in and begs around for 2 mins , before the guard catches him , he goes to order instead and gets a large duo bucket with coffee ...fml being a poor dev before paycheck...

Was looking for virtual credit card for testing out AWS. Came across this wallet and while signup...

That moment when you thought you've fortified yourself with enough RAM for the future (32GB) and Blender fails to work with a large project because...it runs out of memory (just in the loading phase, building them intermediate data structures pushes it over the edge I guess).

Fml.

It was kind of fascinating to watch the memory usage indicator creep up though. Morbid fascination.

Ticket: Allow merchants to customize how their Wallet Passes look! It’ll be super easy, just add these nine merchant-modifiable strings (they support vars) and use their contents for text instead of what we use now. Simple!

Reality: There need to be 24 strings, there are some rules I can’t convey to the merchant (because the system literally does not include instructions, only a name and a textbox), the code to generate the wallet pass is inefficient, uncommented, branching spaghetti that I’ll need to rewrite (it seriously generates every possible field, and then only uses the ones it needs), the specs are so much worse, and half the default values they want aren’t even possible. As in, I don’t know if it’s a car loan, let alone the exact make and model of the bloody thing.

And no, sorry, we have no way of knowing what their fucking “vertical” is, either, so we can’t display that. Fucking sales.

Asdhkjfsjfads

WHY MUST EVERYTHING SUCK

I forgot what it was like to have a productive day!

I’m rewriting the Apple wallet pass code to make it fully customizable instead of mostly static, and it’s beautiful.

The code was horrible tangled spaghetti before (and soo slow) but now it’s clean and fast and modular and absolute bliss to spec. Yay, dependency injection!

I actually had fun working today! 😊
It’s been the first time in months.

The other day I was looking for my wallet and the first thing that crossed my mind was "Ctrl + F" please tell me I'm not crazy

Either there is a bug in my bitcoin Wallet app or I'm rich af

Coworker on slack: "Hey, is my wallet on my desk?"
Me: "Hey it is"
C: "Alright thanks. I'll arrive a bit later to work today"
Me: *about to write* "Because it took too long to find your wallet? 🤣"
C (before I hit enter): I'm going to a funeral
Me: *deletes message draft* "ok, see you later"

Close one

Once a weird co-worker gave me a condom..since I'm a weird guy too, I accepted it just to have a peculiar stuff in my wallet...I'm a guy, no girlfriend, he's a guy too...im straight tbh...him..i dunno

Samsung Pay > Apple Pay

There I said it. After testing Apple Pay, Google Wallet, and now Samsung Pay I am convinced that Samsung Pay is the best. It works great and the rewards points that you get for using it are just awesome.

Side note: wtf Apple!? The iPhone 8 is the iPhone 7 plus wireless charging and the iPhone X is just a $1000 piece of flashy ass shit that's only real "innovations" are Face ID and animojis.

FML

brought my children to the childcare, went home and I am faced with A FUCKING CLOSED DOOR OF MY HOME WITHOUT ANY KEY and MY COMPANY NOTEBOOK, WALLET AND KEYS INSIDE!!! 😬

I've had my wallet for a good 5/6 years. I love it. It's getting old. So much so I was about to go look for a new trusty pocket friend, however, thanks to devRant it now has a new lease of life... Well, hopefully for a few more months at least. 😪

Crap, car broke.
Poor wallet

Well i was between jobs at the time, looking for something, anything to fill in the black hole being created in my wallet.

I applied online though this company’s website and within 20 minutes was on a phone interview setting up a face to face, this was Monday afternoon.

I went in on the Wednesday morning with the manager, no cv, no resume, no examples of work, we talked, did a couple of brain teaser questions and Friday morning I had the job 😂

I have never put so little effort into getting a job before but it was all a sham, the workload and requirements this job constantly sets out to kill me with are godly.

3 years later I’m still alive ( somehow ), and no blood has been shed.... yet.

Choosing the lesser of two evils this year

That moment that you finally decide to buy some bitcoin, purchase it, want to transfer.... aaaaaaand some random error shows up on your web wallet.

Fucking. Great.

I love technology! Went to the grocery store today. Realized that I forgot my wallet. Paid with my phone. Very satisfying.

This e wallet app is weird... Pay with finger?

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I really don't like billing time for things I am not really sure how to do and need time to educate myself on. This happens more often than my wallet is comfortable with and I spend more time learning than making money. How do you go about staying in an estimate or fixed budget when something comes up that you don't know anything about?

Oh look guys the national institute of health government has sent me a financial help and wants me to log into an oddly designed twitter login page so i can connect my financial wallet and claim my financial reward from the governmental national institute of health organization

Topped up my public transport wallet and saw this message. Not sure if this is dumb or cool, but definitely doesn't look very professional. Agree?

Here is My BTC wallet address:

3NbickfbfxNUphgnxgE81sYF5PxxEDcwhm

not sure if i should share thi...

I have officially lost my wallet with all my cash cards, driving license, e-card, article-50 "you're allowed to stay in our country" card and my office access key.

How's everyone else's day going?

Friend got me in to mechanical keyboards... Now I want to buy every keycap. My wallet is not happy with this life choice.

!rant

I just did a thing. Signed the contract for buying my very first apartment at age 21. So fucking stocked, and feel bad for my wallet

I used a test user account to make live payment transaction with test wallet money on production, accounting department just called... I think I'm in hot waters!

what are the odds of walking with a cup of coffe and a drop falls off right into your pocket of your cowboy jeans and wets a bunch of the money you have in your wallet..

!dev

Got a wallet, a tee, a mini cake and two cheese cakes. 😎

I finally took the step.

My first simplistic wallet to create raw Bitcoin transactions. The best part was that the transaction was mined succesfully and is now part of history.

I met my crush last day, she is a junior from the same college, everything was fine until when she wanted to find a recharge shop to recharge her phone. I opened PayTm(One of the Mobile Wallet here in India) and said I'm doing it.

Her reaction : What ? How ? You can do recharge right away from your phone ! wow !

I lost my interest on her :(
She is BTech Final Year Student
Tragedies

My father is very interested in stocks and thus he has also heard of crypto currencies. He just asked me if I could setup a Bitcoin wallet and if I know more stuff about crypto currencies.

I myself know a bit about these things so any tips for starters? 😄

All brand new tech products are a scam. They lose half of their value when you open the box.

Buy used. It’s better for both your wallet and the environment. After a month of use, your brand new thing would’ve looked similar anyway. Yes, you lose the unboxing experience when you buy used, but it’s nothing but a consumption addiction reinforcement.

!dev

FUUUU*K, I lost my wallet today with a ton of important cards inside.. F**K F**K F**K FML

Note of the day: A wallet is as important as a smartphone is!

So what am I doing for valentines day? So far, I've walked for 18KM.. 3KM less than my previous record.

My feet are going to hate me tomorrow but my wallet sure will be in love with me 😂

I lost my wallet, this is for the 2nd time in a span of month all my cards with cash. Feels like I'm failing at life. 🥲

Mining-Noob-Exp. #2

Didn't found a simple mutpli currency read only wallet viewer to just quickly have a glance the current courses and your balances, so I wrote it quickly (and dirty) by my own 😋

Planning to write a stable Sail application of this idea

dev_storyV1.1 (without merge conflict)
Thief: Quick! Hand me your wallet and backpack
Dev: *hands over the empty wallet, takes laptop from bag, pulls from remote, pushes all the commits to remote, deletes local repo, puts laptop in bag, hands over the bag* Here you go mister *sighs*

My wallet is much lighter but have nothing to show for it :-3

Marketing department sometimes are so Fucking annoying in the context of they " just found out certain technology" and try to enforce us to implement.

For example recently this guys just found out firebase(Firestore thingy ) and keep asking us to implement into the app (E wallet app) which our software architect refuse to use firebase( I agree with him) because in the long run , the project will definitely get surprising prices in the invoice.

Also, our DBA had started to implement Apache Cassandra .....

So dear marketing department, why don't you guys shut up and let us do our job and let our software architect do his job? Fuck off!

!rant
I may have just joined the Dark Side and ordered a new Macbook Pro. If anyone can smell burning, it's probably my wallet.

I still don't understand blockchain.

I've read a lot of articles about blockchain and cryptocurrency and still don't understand it completely. the part I'm missing is the storage part (which is the main thing I guess). is the data stored in pieces in every device, or how does this go? what if someone unplugs their device, what happens to the info of my wallet that was stored on that device?

Since I closed the registrations on my mastodon instance, I have found inner peace
But emptier wallet

Just plugged my headphones into my ThinkPad x220 and then into my IdeaPad Y700... Turns out that the Y700 actually drives them better (not unexpected with the horrible sound system from the x220, ThinkPads never give a shit about sound).

Wallet: *starts sweating profusely*

Are these the first signs of becoming an audiophile? 😰

So my employer want a Machine learning app and e wallet app done in 9minutes......

Talking about stupidity, my friend on whatsapp even share his bank online transaction on his stories, I told him to be careful with those sensitive information, but he's ignoring it.
I think he more care to show off his "bulge-wallet" than protect his own money.
Find anything stupid than that?

Do you know that lady who waits in line at the grocery store for ages and when it's finally her turn she suddenly realizes that she might need her wallet somewhere from the bottom of her bag?

That's our current business analyst managing external dependencies like a boss... :D

You know it's time to search for new job when you constantly feel like taking out wallet and mobile from bag and leave office and never return back

When you hate your school cuz the degree was completely useless but now they encroach on things you like.....

MY EYES, THEY BURN!!!!!!! SO DOES MY WALLET.....

In my quest to ditch iPhone, due to there ridiculous prices, i have been looking at android based alternatives. Never (ever) used android b4. So, as my son is getting to that age that he is pleading for a phone, I decided to buy a Wiley Fox Swift 2. This has been great as my son loves it. From a UI perspective it really makes iPhone seem dated. From a UX perspective, fuck me, it needs work. Comparatively IOS is such a piece of piss to configure and use. I don't envisage that I will switch to android any time soon my wallet is not going to be happy.

A whole day yo set up an ethereum node on a raspberry pi zero... No mining. No wallet. I'm loosing it, people.

I hate it when companies got 5 payment options while 4 of them basically lead to a credit card payment.

I'm renting some servers from Vultr and they recently changed something in their payment protocol. Now you need a credit card, even while paying with PayPal, and I don't have a credit card. Using their BTC option doesn't work either since my wallet tells me they are using an incompatible payment protocol (error reason, address & amount) . There is not even a wallet address shown through their BTC checkout to which I could directly send the amount to. You need to open the website on the device your wallet is stored on and then make the payment (so no address is required from their side). Account management is taking a look at it now, I got very quick replies back from their support but this is the first time I'm having such an issue with them.

Oh well, hope they won't take down my servers in the meantime.

How would you guys feel if your favorite app gave you 3 monetization options.

Crypto Mining at max 70% load
Giving you 100% privacy.

Ads, rip privacy, rip cpu.

Paid content /micro transactions
Rip wallet , some privacy concerns, happy cpu.

Thoughts?

It has to be Keybase.

It is exactly what I need - A secure yet practical cloud storage, where only you own the crypto key, with the added bonus of maintaining a blockchain-based identity online, with proof system and all.
Also has a secure PKI-Based E2E chat when I want to talk to someone about something I don't want the general government to necessarily know.

Definitely recommend the service! Even with the odd decision to include an option of a Lumen crypto wallet or whatever, you can just ignore that feature if you're not into it and it doesn't slow you down.

AGILE GLUTEN-FREE DECENTRALIZED EXPERIENCES!
Now that I have said the magic words please forward your billions of VC money to this Bitcoin wallet. I promise your character will be played by Brad Pitt or George Clooney or Beyonce in the Netflix romanticized documentary.

Actually I've never really drunk coded (eventhough I can be a bad drinker lol), but one time I was apparently discussing a problem I encountered with a friend of mine and we came up with a solution. All I had to write it down was a reciept from the supermarket though, but I totally forgot about it the next day, until months later when I was cleaning out my wallet and to this day I have no clue what I was trying to tell.

Finally, a well deserved upgrade from my reliable core i7 5500U laptop. This puppy packs a punch and has style. Wanted a MacBook Pro(newest models are so beautiful) but just seeing the price tag hurt my wallet; anyway I'm happy with this one, my only concern is getting used to the weird power button location

Is my crypto wallet trying to tell me something?

Vitruvian man of the modern age:
- Right hand: iPhone 15 Pro Max with TikTok autoscrolling feed
- Left hand: cramming junk food into mouth
- Heart area: acute guilt
- Belly area: dangerous amount of visceral fat
- Wallet: zero dollars zero cents, plus seven maxed out credit cards
- Wardrobe: come on, who am I kidding. Let’s try again:
- A pile of clothes near the bed: overpriced fast fashion bought to compensate the guilt
- Lifespan: dying right before retirement, so they don’t have to pay you a penny back.
They got everything figured out. Every aspect of your life is profitable to someone. The system is perfect and very beneficial to everyone but yourself.

How can you trust Microsoft to find your shit in time when:
- updates delete your files
- outlook can’t find your emails
- word documents randomly get not saved.

It’s like asking a person with dementia where my wallet is.

fuck taxes, fuck you gov, you've done shit for me, actually, you're always assfucking me every fucking chance you get. So, yeah, I don't pay it in full, oh no, I put my shit where you can't find it, you fucking leech

you want my taxes, yeah? How bout you get off you fucking cockroach ass and gimme something I'd actually want. Legalize weed or abortion, you sick fuck. Reform the police, for fucksakes! Instead, you're always draggin it, pleasing then herd 🦬 well, then, keep taxing them cows and stay the fuck out of my wallet!

Developing a crypto currency infrastructure, a wallet and addressbook

27 is the new 17, the age before you have to take responsibility for your own actions and your first bill hits your wallet here in the U.S.A. 😂

Just turned 27 today, I still feel young as much as everyone else who is older than me that likes to throw the “you’re still a youngling” card 🙄

PARTEH OVER HEREEEEE! 😬🥳🎉🎉

The guy who's good in communication and always failed on logic and code building has a pic of Steve Jobs in his wallet

Which is a good platform for dedicated servers, privacy-wise, and if possible (but it's not my primary goal) not too heavy on my wallet? I'm finding it hard to find something reliable that won't hand out my ass data to the first cop it sees. Which are the best companies? Also, since it would be my first time, how I recognise a bad service?

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Imagine a bitcoin wallet that doubles everything you send to it, but the real one, without a scam.

Transhumanism is just that. You sell your soul to it, and in return, you get a superior entity, albeit entirely different.

I feel like the god Odin hanging off Yggdrasil, sacrificing himself to himself and gaining an entirely new kind of power.

Happened today on the way home
---
*Doesn't feel keys in usual pocket*
Shit, where are my keys?
*Checks other pockets*
Oh, I put them where I usually put my wallet.
...
Shit, where is my wallet? (I forgot it on my desk 🤦‍♂️)

TRUMPS BEEN IN OFFICE FOR 20 MINUTES AND THE US ALREADY FEELS LESS GAY, AND A RANDOM 100 DOLLA BILL APPEARED IN MY WALLET, THE EARTH IS SELF CLEANSING, ECONOMY REGENERATING, I FEEL HOPE AGAIN FOR A BRIGTHER FUTURE, WE'RE GONNA EXPERIENCE MARS OCCUPATION IN OUR LIFETIME, TODAY IM FUCKING ANOTHER WHORE, SOON I WILL START SHITTING LESS, BECOME A MILLIONAIRE IN THE TRUMP ERA, AND LIFE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE FUCKING GOOD FOR ONCE

Thinking very VERY seriously about pushing the button on this.

iMac 10-core Xeon W, 64GB DDR4, Radeon Pro Vega 64X, 2TB SSD

$6,727 plus tax $403.62 and then another hundred for shipping before fucking December in 'rona.

Could sign up for Apple Pay and do $600 payments for 12 months 0 APR... shouldn't be too bad of a problem provided the world holds together that long... And if it doesn't, then this is my last computer... and I guess it'd be nice to go into the afterworld with a freshly upgraded rig.

IDK, Please talk some sense into me about how stupid this would be.

Also to factor in... I need to buy a new machine one way or another SOON. Or else I need to wipe my main and be out of commission for at least 3-4 days which could cost me a few grand on its own... and then also still buy a lesser mac for my daughter.

Why an iMac and not a cheese grater similarly priced? If I get the iMac I can give my current iMac to my daughter for school. My old 2015 iMac isn't holding up to my use anymore, but should be fine for a few more years for a high schooler to work on. If I get a cheese grader fine, but factor in at least another $300 for a minimum 27" 2K monitor.

Any reason to even think of a refurb trash can design? Are they too old now?

General thoughts on why this entire rant is retarded? Like. I too dislike Apple, but I need them. It's love/hate. But god if I do this I'm buckling in for the next 5 years... tax write off would be nice I guess.

Can't really back down the specs any because I dual boot windows and do some gaming. Need 2TB so I can give Windows and Mac a TB each (and I still have 8TB external).

Don't really want to go lower than the Vega 64X because even that benchmarks poorly against many cheaper cards... for gaming (but does do better for some other tasks)...

Ugh... talk me into or out of buying another god awful expensive mac.

So Bitcoin just went above $10,000USD today, even though I'm a late bloomer to get on the trend, what would be the best go ahead for investing into Bitcoin, in regards to creating a Wallet and buying trading with Bitcoin

hmm... since i cant really code at work due to network restrictions and sh*ts planing to start on a personal project at home which will be like a cashless payment / e-wallet and planing to use node(express) as endpoint reactjs at web dashboard/admin and react-native for mobile client or i can just stay with laravel as endpoint and build the web ui using vuejs integrated with laravel? what do you guys think should i stick with node(express) or just use laravel?

Just saw a review on someones ai chat assistant app "it requires me to have a chatgpt account or chatgpt api key before i can use the app" and gives it a 1 star solely because of that. God these fucking users are fucking retarded. Get fucked. Users deserve to get drained all money into my wallet

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is there an algorithm that can spot similarities between two linked lists on the virtue of what an element is linked to? I'm working with my bank statements in CSV and want to work with them mechanically, and I don't really want to spend time checking manually what I have imported (to Wallet by Budget Bakers) and what I'm missing between imports

posting this again because n one seen it the first time
The website I'm building is like a crypto flavored kickstarter/gofundme.
What I need assistance is figuring out how to write python code for this process:
1. There will be an intermediary wallet used to gauge the funds in order to payout [like kickstarter]- the second function of this intermediary wallet is to deduct it's commission
2. For each user account post a unique ID is created and that is now linked to the wallet used to deposit their final funds in.
I don't need you to do the work for me... I just need guidance on how to visualize a process to write this out.. maybe some relevant documentation? i've already attempted but was outa luck. What language would be best used in this case? im thinking python but let me know.

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The website I'm building is like a crypto flavored kickstarter/gofundme.

What I need assistance is figuring out how to write python code for this process:

There will be an intermediary wallet used to gauge the funds in order to payout [like kickstarter]- the second function of this intermediary wallet is to deduct it's commission
For each user account post a unique ID is created and that is now linked to the wallet used to deposit their final funds in.
I don't need you to do the work for me... I just need guidance on how to visualize a process to write this out.. maybe some relevant documentation? i've already attempted but was outa luck.

Quick question.

I feel like I'm quickly developing a Bitcoin addiction. I've figured out how to backup my wallet to 'The cloud's by saving a file to Google drive in case I lose or spike my phone. Tested it out, it works. Got like 98% faith that the crypto is safe as far as not being able to access it like the dogecoin that's sitting on a phone that I still need to repair the screen of. First it was 20$, then 40$ in the BTC ATM. Felt like magic.

My question is:. Is you're opinion of me stupid?

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mpo1221o, situs taruhan poker ini selalu bisa di deposit dengan berbagai cara yakni dengan bank account, e-wallet, serta sampai dengan pulsa juga bisa, dengan ini untuk mempermudah pemain mendapatkan uang.

Question for the crypto users here:

Is paying someone/getting paid via a crypto transaction better than getting paid through Wire/Bank transfer, where you're dealing with overseas payments?

Do you recommend people having a crypto wallet so they can get paid overseas easily?

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