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Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?
Teacher - Yes
A group of people stand up and walking to the door
Teacher - Where are you all going ?
Students - We are going to drop this class.40 -
Walking with gf.
diadev: hey that desk would be perfect for someone with one monitor!
GF: What kind of fuckin normie has one monitor?
I'm keeping this one 😂26 -
Manager (walking in in the morning): ey linuxxx, looking good today!
Me: w-what? I'm not wearing much special, what's so great about my outfit? But than....
Boss: April fools motherfucker!
Well, I had it coming .______.8 -
One of my bosses is walking through the hall brushing his teeth, and another is cooking waffles with a waffle iron. It's 124032
-
day 1 - colleague buys a mini need pistol
day 2 - other colleague buys a big nerf pistol
day 4 - other colleague buys a f#&$ nerf shotgun
day 7 - I buy a automatic nerf gun
day 8 - huge nerf war with other co-workers
day 9 - nerf weapons banned on the office
yesterday - wait colleague leave the office and shoot him on the face every time
today - everyone walking crouched leaving the office
Please, if you are the someone else's boss, don't ban nerf guns, it's worse..26 -
That moment when you come across other devRant lover while walking and then he requests you if he can take your picture! Thanks @dfox for this picture! Haha
7 -
A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”
The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”
The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”
The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”
At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”4 -
!rant
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire and reduce it to a problem I’ve solved before.”10 -
A good rule of thumb when developing applications with a good user experience is to assume that your user is the dumbest person that is walking this planet right now, and make it so that one individual can figure out how to use your application.
Good luck..
26 -
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2 -
I just witnessed this interaction between my CTO and an intern. CTO was a good 30 feet away, so everyone heard:
CTO: *talking about some notepad or something* "I HAVE ONE IN MY DESK!"
Intern: **froze - afraid to go through his desk**
CTO: "TOP DRAWER!"
Intern: ..........
CTO: "GET IT, FUCKER!"
Intern: **blushing - gently opens drawer**
CTO: "KEEP GOING! PAST THE CANDY!"
Intern: "I ..."
CTO: "PAST THE WHISKEY!"
Intern: **softly** "I found it..."
CTO: "THAT WAS HARD!"
Intern: *starts walking back*
(player 3 enters the game) Director of Software: "BRING THE WHISKEY!"
Note: The intern was laughing, he is just a bit timid.
I truly love my job.16 -
> *walking to school*
> *headphones on, music on*
> Kid wants to ask me something
> *takes off headphones*
"You're good with custom ROMs right?"
"Uuuh... Well, perhaps"
"Is it possible to install Windows on a Samsung tablet?"
> NO YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER
"No"
> *puts headphones back on*34 -
A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another.
A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?"
"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer."
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors".3 -
Just saved a life. I was just walking with the dog (it's 3am here) and there was a bleeding drunk on the street - completely unconscious. Must have fallen on his head. Got the police. The paramedics told me a few minutes ago that the guy had a skull fracture. A few hours later it would probably have been too late for him.5
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Ranting about a meme lol
This type of shit is what I fucking hate most iPhone users.
Samsung was founded in 1938... Apple was founded in 1976.
Most iPhone users are a walking L these days with their ignorance and false sense of superiority. Fucking assholes
12 -
PHP sucks balls,
It takes forever to do anything, it is so messy it feels like walking through a massive pile of shit!
Ok good I have your attention and that ++ 😇
But no this is not that kind of rant, quite the opposite.
In 70 lines of php shit as some people would call it, I am currently scrapping GitHub pages with ebook collections and with some minor regex pulling PDFs out and saving them to file.
29 -
A few of Stux's !dev pet peeves
1) People that walk slow as fuck in the middle of a side walk. Like hurry uppppp. I've gotta get 0.5 miles in like 8 minutes and you blocking the walkway doesn't help.
2) People that don't understand how side walks work. Treat it like the fucking road. ⬇️⬆️ Is the pattern in which you should walk. It's not rocket science.
3) People that start walking up the bus steps as I'm clearly walking forward to get off. Ffs let me off and THEN get on you stupid bitch
4) people that bike or ride their skateboard/longboard around campus but are moving slower than I am while walking. If you're gonna do that hop the fuck off and carry the damn thing.
5) people that don't try to solve an issue with their code on their own BEFORE they call the professor over. (There goes the !dev lol)
6) people that act like their favorite musician or athelete or actor or anyone fucking famous they play kiss ass with can't be criticized. Just bc they're famous and/or good at what they do sure asf doesn't make them perfection and I retain the right to voice my opinion.
My name is Stuxnet and you're watching Disney Channel.12 -
When you are doing dijkstra every 5 fucking second trying to pass the guy in front of you while walking.
4 -
Lol just found the world of Warcraft soundtrack at spotify...
On my way to work, feeling like walking through the gates of Stormwind...
Where my nerds at?! (Huh)?26 -
I was wearing my tux t-shirt today and while walking through the city I suddenly heard a boy (around 3-4 years) say to his mom: 'He had a penguin on his t-shirt!'
I smiled and this made my day. :)7 -
Had a blast this past week. Set my vs code theme to the same colors of xnxx.com..
Had a two different guys do a double take as they were walking down my row.11 -
Walking up to my computer, on autopilot i typed my password to unlock it, pressed enter ...aaand realised it was unlocked and I just sent my password in the clients general slack channel.
Quickly changed it to a smiley and pretended it was raining..
Any one else who mistakenly typed a password or other secrets in a slack channel or similar? XD
10 -
10 years ago, I found a vulnerability in the connection between an insurer I was working for, and the network of databases of municipalities. I was only a hacker in so far as kids who watched Hak5 are considered hackers, so I always carried this laptop with a fake access point, package sniffer, wep crack, sslstrip, etc with me.
The vulnerabilities allowed me to register a new identity, for which I requested a passport.
Walking up to the town hall desk with two passports with different names, both mine, was pretty cool.
I did not do anything malicious, and was hired to fix the issues (wep encryption on insurers trusted wifi, and municipality postgres gave write access to all third parties)
For a few days I was the coolest kid in school though!2 -
Christmas-rant:
So I'm having a nice dinner with my in-laws when one of them turns to me: "So, what I want is a website with a link on it to another website, you can do this right?". Seems overly complicated to achieve this result, I know, but she had a fair reason for it. So, I start walking her through what she would need for it. "First thing, let's buy a domain name." "I have to buy these??! I don't believe you, I know people that did not pay for this!" "Well, that's technically impossible except for certain subdomains", I respond politely. "No, I don't believe you!"
So far my happy helping christmas mood.
Merry christmas y'all!16 -
Its amazing walking to a big bank building which you networked and you know where each cable passes to and you remember where you took shortcuts
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Since I am vain as fuck but also lazy, I check my appearance in the webcam instead of walking to the bathroom and using the the mirror. As I am also technologically challenged, I'm still not sure how to open the webcam on Ubuntu, I wrote a 10 lines c++ program (OpenCV) to do it for me. Yeah...19
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A: Can you tell me your opinion about this? Please, be honest.
Me: Ok, I think you could do it in a different way, but let's talk about what you did and see how to make it better...
A: I don't think so, I think this is the best way to do it.
Me: Oh, OK.
A: Why are you always complaining about my job?
Me: Well, you just asked me, and I work on this too, so I thought...
A: I don't think you're collaborative enough with me!
Me [walking away]: Oh, OK...6 -
Today I got kicked out of a sports store in a city that I'm not from on Black Friday for *allegedly* walking onto the putting green and teeing off a little foamy practice ball with a 3 wood.
There were a lot of accusations(which was pretty ironic considering I *may* have).
My main defense is that I honestly didn't think I was talented enough for it to end up in hunting & fishing on the other side of the store.
On the plus side I may have found a new hobby outside of developing3 -
Had 4-5 hours of sleep last night because I had to wake up early this morning for an internal demo of the feature I worked on. It was scheduled early morning because the boss was busy.
I come to the office looking like a zombie, practically sleep walking my way to the office, and guess what... The app server is down! Yay.
I had to reschedule it to right in the middle of lunch time because hey... The boss is busy. Now everyone in the team hates me for ruining their lunch.
Now I'm sitting here, staring at my code, remembering the sweet luxury of sleep.2 -
I attended a data science meetup recently. There were many suits walking around the corridors because of some startup night taking place at the same time.
After some time a guy appeared infront of me, telling me he was afraid at first that this was a meetup for suits only. Until he saw all the dev and rock stickers on my notebook. He was reliefed that there was some nerd at least.
He asked what I was doing so I told him about my startup about optimization of heat generation plants jada jada. I asked him back.
He replied, "Well, I'm also part of some small startup. Among the things we develop processors and stuff. It's called Intel."
Well dude, that was nicely played. I had a lot of fun that evening.5 -
I am roughly 12 hours away from a deadline that seemed pretty impossible.
I finally got everything to work, it seems I'm actually going to make it.
After so many hours of frustration, despair and walking in circles, it is finally fun again :)7 -
A list of Stux's !dev pet peeves.
1) Slow walking (elderly or visibly injured dont count most of the time) people in busy grocery stores. Like please move. I've got shit to do.
2) Thot bots on Instagram.
3) people who leave 2 or 3 car links between them and the car in front of them at a stoplight. I'm not saying you need to be touching their vehicle, but move closer damn.
4) People that say shit like "if you believe x, then unfollow me." Grow up and get over yourself. People are allowed opinions you asshat.
My name is Stuxnet and thank you for attending my TED talk.11 -
Once in college I was walking around campus when I noticed that one of the classes were still teaching Fortran to their students as an introductory programming language.
16 -
You know what grinds my gears. Spaghetti code, bloated code base with 5000 line files, and poor file organization.
Seriously really pissing me off right now. Its like walking into a library and there's no shelves and the books are just thrown into massive piles.
I've spent so much time trying to figure shit out just to implement basic things. Its messing with my productivity and making me hate my job.5 -
Dev: (Watches user print out screenshot of maintenance app to do list, walk across facility to printer. walk across facility to equipment and check things off on paper, then walk across facility back to their terminal and copy the findings over.)
Dev: We made the app responsive so they could do that on a mobile device. Why are they printing?
Manager: Printers are cheaper than getting more tablets.
Dev: …
Dev: Can we at least get a printer at each terminal so they don’t waste so much time walking across the facility?
Manager: That’s too many printers to maintain. It’s easier to just have one.
Dev: …8 -
When walking, Women swing their arms at level height as your balls, watch out.
I've learnt the hard way (no pun)6 -
I. HATE. HUMANS!
A family of four lurking side by side on an already extremely small sidewalk? Stop reproducing or I will start kicking your fucking kids in front of the next truck.
Ignoring the traffic laws as a biker and almost crashing into me because you just didn't care for the traffic light? Fuck you! Next time I see you I will stick a steel rod in between your spokes so you fly into the next cars window.
Randomly and spontaneously stoping on the sidewalk while I am at my top walking speed? Next time I will just run you over. With a bulldozer. And than again in reverse. I just don't get people, I guess.8 -
A fitness guy was walking and dropped his credit card.
I grabbed it and ran up to him to give it back.
He jumped like a scared rabbit and said rudely, "you scared the shit out of me", took the card back and walked off without even a thank you.
So much for Canadian politeness.5 -
"Hi, how are you?"
"Hi, how are you?"
The two separate individuals continue walking past each other in opposite directions. Zero information exchanged.
I hate small talk.12 -
There needs a garbage collector in real life, for those who pass in front of you, walk in front of you, and light up a cigarette to smoke it while you're behind them.
"Yeah, but isn't it worse than those entering the tram after having smoked?"
Here's a better question: where's natural selection when you need it?7 -
So, privacy aware dutchies of devRant.
I was waiting for a friend at Utrecht central Station and saw this sticker (image attached).
Basically, by walking in the building with your wifi and / or Bluetooth active, you're giving them consent to track you.
They use the tracking to see where passengers wait for their train and what the popular routes are.
I thought you should know.
(this is the site on the sticker: http://stations.nl/beleid/privacy/)
24 -
Walking down the street today eating this amazing croissant and sipping iced coffee when I run into this old lady and she was like “hey how are you?” And I was like “good thanks want some of this croissant it’s absolutely delicious” and she was like “No thanks, I want to tell you that those who eat alone, die alone”…
Like wow the audacity of this bitch. Get your old wrinkly latex skin with blotches lookin ass outta my face before you die alone today hoe.
Don’t take no shit from nobody - treat yourself like you the shit.27 -
When it's dark outside all the time and the sun suddenly comes around.
Everyone's going crazy about it and walking outside.
Me: FUCK. How am I supposed to read my freakin code like that?!
*Me standing up and closing the shutter*1 -
So earlier today as I was walking out of class, I overheard some people talking.
One of them said “Oh I hacked google”
Then the other one said “Oh yeah I hacked google aswell. I made it say (something I forgot)”
They were thinking that using the dev tools to make one of the tags say stuff was hacking.
😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤
I had to run away
It was t o o m u c h9 -
Oversleeping due to sleep-walking to my phone and turning the alarm off and going back to bed is a thing for me now. Fuck.
Is there an alarm clock where you have to type in different shell commands to complete a given task on Android in order to stop the alarm? If not, I'll have to do something with my Raspberry Pi...22 -
I had this a while ago. I just pulled an all-nighter because of some servers issues so I went to a coffee shop at my usual train station on my way to my study to get an espresso. I had some difficulties with keeping my eyes open and then these teenage girls walked towards the starbucks (nope I don't do starbucks) saying something like 'Oh my god I need caffeine otherwise I won't survive today omg'.
Five minutes later they came walking out with a few huge 'coffees' with shitloads of milk and whipped cream.
I kept myself sane but I just really wanted to scream 'THAT"S NOT COFFEE/CAFFEINE, THAT"S FUCKING DESERT YOU FUCKING FUCKWITS'.
I really couldn't stand those girls at that moment nope.6 -
What would you be willing to sacrifice for 1 tbps internet speeds?
Mine is my left leg. I'll get a prosthetic or wheel chair. Not like I'd be doing much walking with those speeds keeping me distracted lol.14 -
Fuck inheritance.
Looking for variables and methods in inheritance chain is like walking in Thailand and looking for a girl hooker on a street full of ladyboys.
You can find one but you never know.8 -
Once worked with a PM in a company that was downsizing. Rumors were flying about who was getting cut. He heard his name was on the list and went on a rampage in the office. Cursing every member of management out and turned his office upside down before telling everyone to go fuck themselves and walking out.
Turns out his name wasn't on the cut list.2 -
Hope this is not a repost
A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."
😂😂😂😂😂4 -
To the coworkers who won't read this -- If you have a question to message me, type the QUESTION ITSELF. Don't coyly request permission to ask me a question because you're worried you'll bother me, that just turns it into TWO questions. Let us put an end to saying 'hey, can I ask you a question' and then virtually walking away.10
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!rant, but whatever... At least it brightened my day.
So, I was walking to my school, when I saw a visibly "tired" guy (you know, a lot must've happened yesterday evening / night) walking on the other side of the road in the opposite direction. He crossed the street with the wobble of uncalibrated drone and at that point I knew what is going to happen. Or so I thought.
So we're walking towards each other. At one point he looks at me.
Me: *thinking* "Yep, he saw me. I'm going to be asked for money, am I not? Ugh, I have to think about excuse. Again..."
He: "dude..."
Me: *thinking* "Mmkey, here we go again"
He: "dude, don't do drugs... 'cuz they're bad"
And he walks away.
So, I guess today's lesson is you'll never know when you're going to get friendly advice from random people.4 -
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen. (Edward V Berard)
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Lately, ALL social interaction at an office is awkward and filled with tension. NOBODY knows what is allowed to be said when EVERYONE seems to be “triggered” by everything. So conversation is riddled with mea culpas, walking on eggshells, and equivocations and very little of any interesting substance is discussed. I’m making it my goal to always be remote in any job, but even the Slack and Zoom interactions are stupid.21
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My dads latest wisdom:
"Back in the days there were two types of people that whisper to themselves while walking down the street:
1. people that are building a house,
2. crazy people"
** looks at me ***
"... and in the recent times programmers are special category"3 -
* Driving... Thinking about code.
* Walking... Thinking about code.
* Lying down... Thinking about code.
* Sitting down... Thinking about code.
* Eating... Thinking about code.
* Conversating... Thinking about code.
* Praying... Thinking about code.
* Partying... Thinking about code.
* Pooing... Thinking about code.
* Bathing... Thinking about code.
* Eyes closed... Thinking about code.
* Eyes open... Thinking about code.
Genie... I think you already know my wish.12 -
We had robotics, or rather an electronics workshop today. Just imagine throwing a bunch of nerds into a room with 3d printers, lots of electronic parts and other tools.
Anyway one of my friends said that his computer wasn't working.
Me: It's running windows so it's broken by default.
Him: common, windows isn't that bad
Me: it is
Our teacher walking by: I'd never want to use windows, it's basically malware
I just sat there smiling 😊2 -
Completely got my localhost and live database confused and dropped the whole live server. And there was a power outage so the last backup is from Friday. Luckily not completely live, but still having a stream of people walking in. Also pretty obvious that they are talking about me especially since there's no other shes in the department.5
-
so i was in colorado
walking past this goat ranch.
at least I thought it was just a goat and sheep ranch.
it was some kind of dog daycare with an attached petting zoo of scary looking animals.
so it was late afternoon.
i had some food left and stopped to feed the animals which included some of the largest damn goats i ever saw, i mean towering goats.
suddenly, this big horrific reptile like head with red eyes appeared over the fence, and i screamed in fright, to which a giant fucking bird ran away several feet.
motherfuckers had a goddamn emu in with the goats !!5 -
Walking through car park, it's raining.
Down a slope to the next level.
Started to slide, this is bad... I'm not a dainty dancer I'm a 250lb meatbag.
Slid at least 9 feet, bailed to my knees and hands like a dog (cause it's down slope I couldn't not go to all 4s)
Knees and shins wet, glad there's no cameras... I'll just carry on like nothing happened.3 -
How Real programmers code :
Pfff real programmers use a puppy and have it chase a frisbee where the frisbee hits a flower disrupting a bees honey sucking so it goes home to beat it's wife which again the wife bee gets pissed off and stings my dumb client who mashes some buttons on a keyboard by mistake whilst using my software which fucks up my program and I have to tell him that my program is fine and if he didn't try walking in the garden holding his laptop because of his poor WiFi connection then all of this wouldn't've happened.1 -
"What's my email again?"
"Come on. yourfirstname@ourlastname.at."
"Ah, right."
and
"How do I unblock you on WhatsApp?"
Other than that, not much recently.
I am a walking German dictionary to her, however. I mean, I don't need to google it most of the time, so maybe not worth telling her to just google it :P4 -
Some of the guys in our team like to throw pranks once in a while. So they printed a version of my ID with Mr. Putin's face instead of mine (a decent upgrade in my opinion) and put the paper on top of my ID. I was walking with it around the office for God knows how long until I noticed.
2 -
On way to work.
Almost stepped over a dead cat! 😷
I hate this fucking country.
*Walking past a stray dog staring at me atm*7 -
So I'm sitting down coding at home, trying to work out some problems when I hear the Doorbell ring. Obviously I shouldn't ignore it so I go to answer it.
Its the fucking FedEx delivery guy, he ALWAYS rings the doorbell, waits a solid 2 seconds after ringing then leaves. By the time I am about to answer the door he is already walking away.
HE ALWAYS FUCKING DOES THIS, in the end I'm thrown off my rhythm for nothing to go answer a door where the person ringing doesn't even have the decency to wait a few extra seconds to see if anyone comes.
This has happened to me several times now, he rings the door for no damn reason, i come running over and he is already gone.
So bloody frustrating.10 -
I get uneasy walking away/turning off my computer without committing my code to a server. Zero faith in local storage.3
-
My boss (also a developer) walks in regularly to tell us how annoying it is when her boss is walking in when she is working on something.
So you keep us from working by doing the exact same thing you find annoying? Sometimes I dont mind but sometimes Im doing difficult things you asked me to do, dont get me from my work for something useless....1 -
Some IT person is walking to the marketing department coffee machine because one on IT is broken.
While waiting for his coffee he yells:
I want a enormous rack!
All the women instantly hide, and one guy say. “You cannot say that here!”
IT guy looks surprised and wondering what he said wrong.... -
I love walking round in a facemask cause people always gimme a "wtf" look like im a criminal and also wordpress is a fucking joke lmao13
-
I was excited to get back to work on a major project today. I was thinking in the shower, on my bike, on the train, on the walk from the train to my office, on the elevator, about how I would approach it and came up with a good plan. Again, I was excited.
Then, on our standup call, a dude says he needs access to the util server I manage, and just happens to not know shit about Linux. So I spend the next hour and a half walking him through simple SSH commands, and completely lose my train of thought for the project I was planning to tackle.
Now, I'm seething on the toilet, hoping to reset.4 -
It's dead. Devrant is dead.
If anybody wandering this earth were to enjoy random people ranting, without the possibility to filter, subscribe and connect.
No notifications means this platform is walking the plank.12 -
So I walked into a business the other day where they make flyers and business cards etc. Wanted something specific so went to what they call their "developers". So they have some kind of dodgy pdf editor open there and I know exactly what I want so I asked can you take a RGB color..... the reaction was glassy eyes. And after that the woman started to scream at me and telling me that I have no idea what it is like to be a "Developer". Ended up walking out and going to another place.....1
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I never ever give out my cell # to ppl at work. If they need to speak with me, I provide them my work # only.
Two weeks ago, went to a customer site. For ONE minute, I had an email on the screen that had my personal cell #.
Last Tuesday - out walking dog: call from customer to personal cell.
Last Thursday - getting ready for work, brushing teeth: call from customer to personal cell.
Last Friday - grabbing lunch: call from customer to personal cell.
Yesterday - in a meeting: call from customer to personal cell.
I'm gonna cry 😢3 -
#Happy_Rant
Seeing BYJU's and WhiteHat Jr losing millions in valuation makes me happy, as it was something I had predicted (Im not flexing btw).
The whole business model is dumb, teaching CHILDREN coding and teaching them how to make `apps` via online learning.
Students study Comp Sci for literal years before they even begin coding something useful, and even then there are so many professional developers walking around who barely understand the code that they write.
It's just natural selection at this point.6 -
!dev
What kind of a motherfucking city is this! (Mumbai) Every fucking road has a shit ton of traffic and no one gives a shit about people walking nearby. An asshole drove over my foot while I was crossing the road, motherfucker. Traffic signals not working, no traffic constables to see anything. And people talk and keep telling this is the spirit of Mumbai. Shitty infrastructure is the spirit of Mumbai. Fuck everyone!6 -
How I solve complex problem during development.
1. I left my machine with all the thinking and start to think of another activity.
2. Start another activity I like specially a physical one like playing a game, jogging or just walking.
3. Then after I am fully involved with this activity I start to think of different scenarios of the problem I was trying to solve.
4. Eventually, different solutions came to my mind and I evaluate them one by one with respect to my problem.
5. I finalize a couple of solutions based on the evaluations.
6. Rush to my machine and start implementation to see if it work.
PS: During all these thinking I will be terrible at the activity I am doing.
Loop again if It didn't workout.3 -
Partners off at TAFE and I've got 3 hours to kill before walking to work, maccas and writing it is then!
Wish I brought my Mac so I could work on my other projects but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
11 -
I'm on this fair and there are suits walking almost everywhere!
Even in the "Tech" area.
Like 'a-bit-to-confident' ducks with their heads up in the cloud exposing their throat while walking right into my sharp blade. Inexorable stumbling headless right over the edge of the next bridge, hitting the rails with their rubies. Helpless, waiting to get caught by the next hype-train.
*sigh*17 -
For fucks sake can people stop using phones while walking, especially in busy places it's getting fucking ridiculous not to mention dangerous, the number of people I've seen that have headphones on and are glued to their screens almost bumping into people. What can they possibly be doing that's so important that they cant leave their phone in their pocket for 15 minutes while they get to where they need to be.6
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- was a manager of a super market
- got tired of walking to tills to give discount
- taught myself to code
- wrote a loyalty card system that automated the discount
- met an investor with a similar mindset and rolled it out nationally (after it was professionally refactored).
This was my "last job" starting in like 2009 not my current.1 -
Game reviews on Steam are now like, “Not recommended. Seemed like a good game, but the story is linear and there’s really nothing to do.” …with approximately 180hrs of playtime on record for a $25 game.
Do us all a favor and please continue to stare at your phone while walking into oncoming traffic.8 -
One employee explained something to another, while i was walking by.
He: "... now we have 800 instead of 4000 on this Page ..."
Me: "Miliseconds?"
He: "Executed sql querys"
WTF?!?5 -
Fuck these people. They have PhDs in everything but don't know how to walk properly.
"Oh let me get right in front of you while you walk faster", have you ever driven a car you porg shit?
And these people that wear backpacks! OH MY GOD I HATE BACKPACKS! I mean, if you wear one please tell me you've been wearing them since you were born. Otherwise you're not calculating the extra space you take AND YOU JUST WALK LIKE A FUCKING GORILLA.
I have come to the point of inventing the walking permit. You're born with it, and starting at 18 y/o it can be stripped away. LEARN TO WALK.2 -
You asked for it--here it is.
It was a regular day in November--I was taking my dog out for a walk. We were walking past an elementary school when my dog started barking at a rock. I went to have a closer look at the rock when suddenly it vanished into thin air. "How strange" I quietly thought to myself, called out to my dog and carried on walking.
The next day at around the same time, at the very same place--next to the elementary school, my dog started barking at a log which lied in the exact same spot as the rock had occupied the day before. I did the same as I had done a day earlier--walked up to the log to check it out, but it vanished into thin air. We kept on walking.
The third day I decided we'd pick another route. This day, nothing interesting happened.
The fourth day went the same as the third.
The fifth day, went the same as the fourth.
On the sixth day, God was almost done with his works, for that reason we celebrated by going to the movies--me and my dog. To be fair, the only interesting thing that happened on that day was the movie, which was shit.
On the eight day when I got out of my bed I fell, broke my neck and died. And that's when I ate my code to make it shorter.5 -
I am so glad there is Devrant. Before Devrant us devs would tell the office snitches we were going for a walk but we were really walking and ranting. One smart pm figured it out and started inviting himself on the walks. Total buzzkill.1
-
I thought living alone without my family will help me to be more productive but no! When I got out of the office and start walking towards my home, I feel like there is no one waiting for me. What am I doing? When I reach, I feel empty, all alone, by myself. Maybe, it's time to marry someone, maybe a girlfriend? But I don't have any courage to start a conversation with a woman. I just expect someone will talk to me out of interest. But none! Is marrying someone the only solution? having a family is the ultimate peace? IDK14
-
FUCK YOU LIFE!
YOU LEFT ME 3 HOURS WALKING IN THE COLD TO GET TO MY HOME FROM MY FUCKING INTERNSHIP!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ORGANIZE EVERYTHING SO THAT I.E. TODAY THE BUS DOES NOT ARRIVE AT THE BUS STATION??!?!??!?!?!!
I ALWAYS DON'T HAVE LUCK. WHATEVER I DO... I (ALMOST) ALWAYS FAIL AT IT (not talking about skill-related stuff! fuck you!)3 -
Sat here at my desk, facing a wall after my desk being moved whilst I was working from home, counting down the days until I resign.
5 Years here and was ready to leave almost 2 years ago but let them convince me to stay around. Now stuck with a 3 month notice.
Built the same homepage 5 times in as many weeks due to constant changes and ready to throw in the towel.
I'm here until Christmas, then I am going it alone. Just not sure how I am going to make it to Christmas without walking out3 -
Depends.. in the Office? Someone watching over my shoulder like a creep.
Home office? Hot chicks walking around outside my window 😅6 -
A few months ago I ranted about how my first encounter with Assembly was hopefully the last one
Here I am, again, with my second Assembly encounter. However, this time I'm able to read and understand it more, such that I'm even able to compute stack layouts. I don't even hate it that much anymore.
I guess I'm walking the path I couldn't defeat
*cries in %rax*6 -
just got directly sneezed on in the office from someone walking behind me. Turns out he's full of a cold.
That's my November fucked then
t**t15 -
Me walking into Best Buy picking up a package wearing my Android hat.
Me: I'm here to pick up a package
Best Buy guy: That is a nice hat!
Me: Oh? Thanks! It my favorite
Guy: As long as it isn't Apple2 -
Suicide Linux:
You know how sometimes if you mistype a filename in Bash, it corrects your spelling and runs the command anyway? Such as when changing directory, or opening a file.
I have invented Suicide Linux. Any time - any time - you type any remotely incorrect command, the interpreter creatively resolves it into rm -rf / and wipes your hard drive.
It's a game. Like walking a tightrope. You have to see how long you can continue to use the operating system before losing all your data.
Please install: https://qntm.org/suicide9 -
Worst part of being a dev is that feeling that you're walking up the down escalator. Can't get ahead and if you stop, you're back where you started.
Oh and some punk kids keep passing you on the way! Lol -
!rant
The perks of working in a medium large company with ~35 employees
Today there's a concert for Stargate, Alan Walker and Ne-Yo. Where we've made the video effects for Stargate.
Now we're having a summer party with our biggest clients, free alcohol and food. Later we're walking to the concert where we and our clients got free tickets.
Internal memo this morning, showing up tomorrow is not mandatory4 -
My previous job. My first day at work. I get my laptop and I start walking to my office. My PM intercepts me and starts harassing me about our team being late. She ignored the fact that I had not even manage to turn the laptop on yet!1
-
Can you overdose on strong coffee? I feel sort of lightheaded on and off when walking and heart feels like it's beating a lot... after drinking a large cup this afternoon...11
-
The advancing of technology makes you prefer to take public transports instead of walking to go to work.
The people using it makes you prefer to walk instead of taking public transports to go to work.3 -
Open plan office. Distraction hell.
Phones ringing. Endless people walking past. People talking shite nearby. Constant interruption in one form or another.2 -
[Me]: Walking past a building, looks like an office building. *Light bulb*
[Me]: looks towards the nearest monitor Python terminal is open. Screams out loud "My man!" -
Coffee vs black tea?
I'm walking to my school and It's just freezing out here so I was thinking about if it should be coffee or some tea today.
Happy friday xd12 -
!rant
I fuckin love technology man.
Whenever I'm walking up to my apartment I can turn my lights, tv and Xbox on AND even have the game I want to play loaded up before I unlock the door.20 -
It happened with a company that makes the audio Codecs for Apple (you guessed it right).
It was supposed to be the most pleasant interview ever but not exactly. Here's the thing, the interview went so well that the HR explained all the benefits for its employees and handed me a copy of a leaflet containing so. In the end, as they were walking me to the door, the HR lady told me "you are staying here, you don't have to look anymore" as they were walking me to the door.
Well, everything I did from my end was perfect. Thank you emails and follow-ups blah blah. But not a single answer from their end regarding any decision.
This was the worst feeling to me.1 -
one of our sales manager ask me,
"what so difficult to build ecommerce website, we work more than you because we strugle on field."
I just smile and start walking.6 -
I am strong technically, resourceful, with good analytical thinking, but I suck at comms. I lack patience and I struggle with communicating in a politcorrect business-friendly language when reaching out to other technical teams. I feel and behave as if they were all local folks, as if in a walking distance from my desk, when irl they [the client] may as well be on a diff continent
How can I improve? Anyone else had a similar problem? How did you overcome it?
Is this nuance going to be a problem in a career path past the senior chair?
What do you reckon?4 -
what are the odds of walking with a cup of coffe and a drop falls off right into your pocket of your cowboy jeans and wets a bunch of the money you have in your wallet..1
-
!dev
This boring story with stupid ending started on Monday with me going out to buy some food and cook something delicious, day like always until my mind went nuts.
I work from home and cook my meals by myself cause I love cooking.
To buy ingredients I go shopping couple times a week always making the same steps, doing this for over a year now and by this time everything was automatic so I could think about work problems and solutions.
I start usually by getting up from my desk around noon, not many people doing shopping at that time and I can proceed quick.
Algorithm is like this: go to kitchen and look at the fridge, go out, wait for traffic lights, take tram, ride two stops, wait for the traffic lights again, go to supermarket, do shopping and finally go back the same way. Boooring.
When I get out from tram that day l looked at traffic lights to go green, as always and that’s the place where everything started to go bad.
So I was waiting there doing nothing and then stupid idea got me.
I figured out I can stop looking at light to make this day different and look ahead.
Then simply start walking when people from other side start walking.
It worked smoothly on those lights and I was happy I can do things differently from now on. I proceed with this idea on the way back and motherfuckers started walking on red. Twice !!!!
Almost died.
Since then three times some car was driving on green near me in those places and people started walking on red.
It got me worried about world determinism instantly. I might increased some entropy to much and some world developer changed some line of code while I was shopping and from that time death is passing by me.
Now it got me to the point where the more I follow this way the more I am worried about my life. Started thinking about ordering ingredients online.
So if you read this you know that I know your plan and I will be changing supermarkets and paths to it randomly starting from next week.
Or not I hope nobody hacked my mind and only thing that read and write to it is my consciousness.
I feel relief now.2 -
If you throw a dirty gunk-ice-snow-mix ball into my food while I'm walking to school WHILE I AM REALLY FUCKING HUNGRY, I'm going to pour that now non-edible food onto your head, dimwit.
I don't care if your clothes were expensive or if you threw it in there accidentally. Maybe next time at least throw a non-dirty snowball, there was plenty of fresh snow.6 -
I made the mistake of stepping into the lift when I already saw our branch manager walking down the opposite hallway, joined by some guy in full suit and tie who's clearly just been interviewed. So of course they get into the lift as well and as the doors closed, manager asked me
"Well, is it worthwhile working here?"
Shit. Way to put me on the spot in front of an applicant. I just stuttered "Yeah... sure..?" and went silent for the rest of the ride. Like what the fuck kinda question is that, noone would work there if it wasn't. Why would you ask me of all people, their only working student at the time, doing different work on different projects for different pay than any actual employee? -
Is 10km/day walk going to help lose weight? How efficiently? What do you think?
I believe this topic fits developers' community very well :)31 -
My 15 year old son witnessed our two male dogs licking each other's privates. My son, in some sort of shock, starts walking around the house saying "My dog is a homo sex you awl!" repeatedly (emphasis on how the syllables sounded).
I stopped him and said, "We need to talk about the birds and the birds."4 -
Turns out I'm terrible at meeting people. Go figure, it's the cliche of being a dev.
I just moved into a pretty nice apartment in a nice area, but I I know literally nobody here aside from coworkers. The only friend I have left that hasn't moved away is in jail for a good while. 😧
The only place I can think to meet people is at a bar/club - which isn't really my thing. Even then, just walking up to a stranger and striking up a conversation just seems fucking weird to me.
Anybody have any advice on making new friends in basically a new town?14 -
If you think walking on your parents while they're having sex is bad, hear(read) this:
Today I heard my mom asked my dad her email's password, and she's a doctor. Why and how can't you memorize your only password? I mean if she wasn't a doctor this situation would be more believable.9 -
So was walking through a display homes with my partner and found this gem...
Edit: I have no idea why this rotated
2 -
Did I ever tell anyone how much I hate phone interviews? I have had them where people were on speaker phone and I could hardly understand them, foreign accents I could not understand or people reading questions off of the internet. I usually have to do these while walking around the parking lot on my job. My hands and ears freezing in the cold or 100+ degrees in the summer. I just hate it. Now I feel better. Oh yeah I have a country accent so I am doomed from the start anyway. ByVal or ByRef ? Difference between abstract and interface? Here we go again.
-
Weekend is almost here. Are you working on any interesting side projects? I am creating blog content, coding an alert system and speed walking a 5k. Enjoy!7
-
It's not every day that a client reports his Website as completely down. But when they do, it's always just as I was walking out the door...3
-
A weird one..
I spend a few hours every day simply walking in the nature. I'd like to use that time for coding. However it's easier to light fire under the sea than write code on a phone :)
then there are tablets. Not powerful enough for compilation nor does it have powerful IDEs, but it could be quite handy to vnc to a decent computer and do the stuff-stuff :) but tapping a screen ain't something pleasant. A physical kbd would be much nicer
So before I purchase a tablet with sim slot - are there any other, more suitable solutions?9 -
Only got 2h of sleep instead of my usual 5h. I'm a walking corpse and there are still 7h left until I can go home 😴
Stupid, calming water-flow sounds are going to bring me down4 -
Your code is:
⭕️ Comprehensive
⭕️ Well Written
⭕️ <!-- Informative -->
Check none.
Walking into another devs code. -
Coding taught me how to think logically and how to approach problems with a fresh clear mind if your ever stuck like walking away for a bit and returning after a break.
It also allowed me to give my old teachers the middle finger who said I'd never do anything in life... 6 years later and I've owned my own media business and now work for a web agency! -
(Saturday morning)
Me: I've never been so long without exercising (since before this, my first winter), I should get in shape now that this God forsaken weather is finally reaching livable levels.
(some time later at the gym)
Also me: You've always been in good shape, why stop with just chest, let's do some arms and shoulders.
(48 hours later, Monday morning)
I had to turn my whole torso to look if any car was coming while walking to the library, moved like terminator because of the massive neck muscle pain, suffered through the pain of setting up all my study material to the realize (just now) I can't even fucking look down to my notebook... Can I be more stupid?1 -
Last week a coworker saw a spider walking around on the floor. They were looking at the spider and telling me about the spider. I walked over to the spider and reached down and pretended to grab the spider. I then proceeded to pretend to toss the spider at my coworker.
His response: "You jerk!"
Not sorry.
P.S. I would not have done that if I thought my coworker had a fear of spiders. He doesn't and he proceeded to dispatch the spider shortly after.5 -
So...
function watch($i = null)
switch($i) {
case 1:
return 'Game of Thrones';
break;
case 2:
return 'Silicon Valley';
break;
case 3:
return 'Fear The Walking Dead';
break;
}
}
echo watch(rand(1,3));6 -
I'm so tired of being on the second floor of this shitty office building. There is a constant vibration from all the employees walking around; moreover, someone walks down the aisle beside my cube...it's like a small fucking earthquake. A group or really fat person walks by? Shit's falling off my walls. Damn it all. 👊
-
A colleague is walking me trough some of the source code because we try to fix an issue.
colleague: Oh we don't use this anymore
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: This part we should refactor someday
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: Oh I think this is old code and does not exist anymore.
Me: .. .. ...
Great Colleague BTW :)
PS: fix will be posted Later.3 -
Gotta love it when you try out a different VS Code extension for a specific language and then on each autoformat, more and more spaces get inserted.
IT LIVES!3 -
I HATE Ostream !!!
I was walking up to my car today to run an errand and as I approached my car, I had this thought in my head - "I am a cartard". I legit started to feel guilt while I was driving.
I hate that ostream made his place in my head without paying rent.7 -
Nothing better than walking out of the examination classroom, opening up your phone and being flooded with emails and messages about production servers being down
It's that time of the week again
Luckily, now that everything is in place everything is 100% automated with ci/cd 😎2 -
So today our IT admin was walking around with a T-shirt of a local recycling company. On said shirt he had a nametag and several Microsoft product badges.
His explanation for this was, that he is here for recycling Microsoft products as he is updating everything to Office365.3 -
It's rather surreal to go from months of momentum, hard work, feeling proud of everything we're doing... to walking into work one day and finding out that it's your last. It's everyone's last.
Startups, I get it. They come and go, but I've never been so blindsided by it when everything seemed great and everyone was proud. Oh well.
Not skipping a beat. My first day at a new opportunity begins in the morning. I hope it isn't too long before I once again find that place where I'm doing my best work, building something I genuinely believe in, and feel great about it all.
I can't say how rare that groove actually is. I hope it isn't. We should all be able to find it. -
I spend so much time developing, went to my parents and walkoutside. Cant believe i dont even remeber ever walking at the back part of this place. Actually looks nice. And they have been staying there for 5 years.
Anyhow. Back to the cave for me. Seems the internet is back up -
Second week sick I see how my life slowed down and how meaningless everything around is, everyone is rushing about some bullshit, name it new amazing job opportunity, black Friday great deal, super duper product idea or some most important bug on production that we need to fix asap.
All that can’t wait a week when I’m healthy?
Seriously, people lost their minds in today’s world to some bullshit.
I’m to old and to depressed to care about such idiotic things. Living my life as I want and on my own peace, don’t care everyone is running, I’m slowly walking and I like it.
It’s better to walk straight than run around like an idiot.1 -
Does anyone have recurring nightmare dreams about school?
I still get them even though it's > 10 years. Usually my dreams are about maths exams where I can read the question paper but can't make out the question.
Then other days I see myself walking up to class and I don't have my school bag with me.
Other times, I know my exams are gone bad and I barely wrote anything on the answer sheet and submitted it.
Other times, I see myself without pants in my classroom and everyone is pointing and laughing at me.5 -
Tales From "PM vs Chen"
PM: *Walks up to Chen's cube*
Chen(that's me): *Taking off headphones* "Are we about to have another meeting about the meeting we just had?"
PM: "Yes"
Chen: "Okay. Just checking." *Waits for PM to share his thought*
PM: We're almost done.
Chen: "Yes" *Waits again for PM to share his thoughts*
PM: *While walking away* "Making Progress"2 -
After walking 15-20 kilometres every day in 36 degrees Celsius (feel is like 42) for the past 5 days, I think a Japanese alcoholic drink and a bath is well deserved...7
-
Me: we are running in circles going nowhere 🤬
Manager: ok, from tomorrow let's try walking backwards triangles maybe that works better
Me: 🤦♂️🤷♂️3 -
So what am I doing for valentines day? So far, I've walked for 18KM.. 3KM less than my previous record.
My feet are going to hate me tomorrow but my wallet sure will be in love with me 😂3 -
There was once some webservice made by a junior over the course of a few months. He always said it's good to go and everything works fine - but nobody ever asked to see something of it.
Big mistake, the thing was a fucking mess. Major spaghetti, nothing _really_ worked. The whole application felt like walking on eggshells.
Fast forward: It's Wednesday at 3PM, and the product is to be presented and used on Thursday at 9AM by the customer. They brought me and another colleague into the project and we fixed it in time, but it was one hell of a night.1 -
Today’s text chat:
Me walking near the river in the middle of nowhere with a cellphone.
frontend developer:
- I need image from test server. Can you provide me that image ? I need it for my local environment to fix something ( writes details of how to get an image ).
me:
- Can’t you go to test server website and get it by yourself ?
frontend developer:
- But this image is on canvas element.
me:
- Because frontend is drawing in on canvas so go to network tab and get the url.
frontend developer:
- Ah yes I can do that
I have such small talks all the fucking time. They accumulate when I go out to chill during the day.1 -
This co-worker was straight out nuts who bullshitted his way into the company. Man he smelt like shit. The fucked up part was one day I noticed my other co - workers walking behind him weirdly. Well word got around that he shit his pants and the other co workers were walking behind him sniffing his pants having a laugh. I still don't know where we got these workers from.
-
Walking in a shop. Using my react native todo app with redux i made for personal product. Feels good man2
-
!dev
Re-watching old episodes of mythbusters. S2E1, they test "better to walk or run in the rain"
Their method totally pissed me off.
They had cotton suits on their body and measured the weight difference before and after.
Except the cotton suits DIDN'T GO ON THEIR HEAD.
Where is most of the rain going to fall when walking slowly and the water source is directly above your head? Head and shoulders.
So of course their findings were that you got more wet when running, as some of the water got on their belly instead of their head.
Can't find anyone talking about it online so had to rant about it here. So fucking stupid
7 -
!rant A guy is standing on the corner of the street! smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."1 -
“I’ve tried everything, it won’t work. I HAVE to do it this __insert-stupid-dev-fuckery-here__ way”
Hmmmm 🤔 ok have you tried getting down on your hands and knees and walking around like a little piggy begging daddy to rough you up and put you in a pen?!? Because that’s what your gonna need to do for me to forgive you. Please please please just try to THINK about it before you do ANYTHING6 -
!rant
Health.
This is a big thing I think. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm overweight and this job keeps me at a desk for long periods of time.
I ended up with health issues from a combination of a bad diet, a staph infection years ago, and not being active. So I've made a commitment to start walking - at least a mile a day.
I'm using Pacer + Apple Health on iOS to track my progress. So far, combined with a $50 bluetooth scale I picked up on Amazon, I'm losing weight. I also noticed that when I switched my mile walk to my lunch break, I'm coming back to my work way more refreshed.
I hope to keep this up and I've found the gamification of having apps track my progress is a definite plus.
Anyone else have any healthy habits of "health hacks" they've found?4 -
Hey Guys, I'm starting a new project for iOS. This App is for who have trekking or love to walking in to the woods. It record the positions, altitude and is possible to save your favourite places (with photo and description). There are also an SOS functionality that permit to return at home position (also without GSM or internet connectivity) and to ask for help (I still thinking how this can be done). I've attached first layout made with sketch witch will make it clear what I'll do.
15 -
2 years ago, the first day in Viareggio(Italy):
walked 30min on the beach searching the "free beach", walking with cool bag, umbrella, and backpack in the hot summer sun...
finding the "free beach": drop everything I had and run to the water to cool down...
forget iPhone in my swimming trunks :(
1. five weeks without a phone (really relaxing;))
2. have no iOS device for restoring the backup... because I bought an oneplus 31 -
I'm on the way to building my own B2B SAAS business. I code all day, sleep for 3 hours, have no money, and sometimes do a couple of freelancing projects to survive.
My friends are in jobs, earning way more than me. I feel a bit jealous, doubting my abilities.
Am I doing right? Or I'm just a nerd with a potato computer struggling like a dog? Am I even walking on the correct path?7 -
Get given two asset packs for a project I confirm with project lead, project manager and CTO which one they want to use. They then confirm with client and they all decided asset pack 2. Ok great, 3 months later week before deadline "we need asset pack 1 used instead"... Different resolution, different aspect ratio and now get nagged every few minutes how done is it, and that it's vital we meet the deadline. So close to just walking out that door.
-
Somehow I always feel like shit after a party. But not because of the alcohol. I'm not even drinking that much anymore. And it's not because of the party either. I mean it was fun, I got to talk for quite some time with long time friends, we all had a blast... For some reason I'm just sad. Actually not sad. I don't know how to describe it. Like I want to walk down the yellow lit streets of a city at night, alone with a beer in my hand. That sort of feeling. Being alone in an empty city just walking doing the streets. Maybe doing something stupid. I don't know 😔
just thought I'd share 😔5 -
Simply walking. While walking I'm getting many ideas how to implement my features/changes. Especially when they are interesting.
-
Just shielded my laptop and his from this coworker's coffee. Not all heroes wear capes but sure its not very pleasant to be a walking espresso so FUCK EVERYBODY1
-
Walking around in naturvetenskapliga museumet (a museum in Stockholm, Sweden) and i see this (image below).
This information displays which seems to run Windows restarted. I would say that it happend because of the long uptime these machines have and Windows sucks with having long uptime.
Solution: Run it on a Linux based operating system instead.
-
Hogwarts legacy is out, and here I am, on a nice free Saturday, walking 6 fucking miles to a fucking mall to spend the fucking afternoon in fucking clothing shops.
Fucking *kill* me.7 -
So after school i was kinda roaming around, taking the odd paid programming job for clients, not really making any money, but also quite struggling because I was walking around with undiagnosed ADHD, for about the last 2ish years, not really making any money.
Since this February friends told me I might have ADHD, so I had it checked. Turns out I have been walking around with severe ADHD all my life :P That explained a fuckload... and now I got medication that works, yay!
Flash forward to 3 weeks ago, still not doing any work, all of sudden I get poked on linkedIn "hey we need a developer, wanna work for us?"
I wasnt really looking and since it was a message on linkedIn I figured it was just another of those overpromising recruiters, but it was very close to where I live so I decided to call them directly to check it out, expecting literally nothing, nor was I looking for work.
Roughly a week after that call I got a job as team lead backend developer...
Wait I was a total mess in the last 2 years, how did I end up as lead over an intern and 2 contracted freelancers?!?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!?
Sofar I am enjoying it.1 -
var dayInMyLife = function(data) {
var checkDevRant = setInterval(function() { openDevRant(); }, Math.random()*10000),
workday = (data.day.toLowerCase() == 'saturday' || data.day.toLowerCase() == 'sunday' || data.holiday == true) ? false : true;
if (workday) {
var schedule = {
'wakeup': '06:45',
'travelToWork': {
'time': '07:10',
'method': 'walking'
},
'lunch': '11.00',
'travelToHome': {
'time': '15:30',
'method': 'walking'
}
};
while (atWork) {
keepZeroInbox();
beAmongDinosaurs();
if (checkForProjects()) {
doProject();
};
while (noisyCoworkers) {
useNoiseCancellationHeadset();
};
};
spendPreciousFreeTimeWithFamily();
enterSleepMode();
}
}
var today = dayInMyLife({'day': 'monday', 'holiday': false});
1 -
once I have to code in a public train station’s restroom just because I have no place to sit and floor is not comfortable enough because people keep walking by distracting me,
So I cover the lid, pull my laptop out, use my phones hotspot connect to remote server to fix the problem.
The smell is not good.2 -
I'm just walking out of a physics and programming final and the end of the semester. Imagine my joy knowing I'll have a whole month of extra time to work on personal dev stuff.
-
Does soft-bricking my PC with broken MBRs count?
Otherwise, to stay fit I like to walk/hike. Hate any kind of exercise, unfortunately, but found a way to stay relatively fit by just going walking regularly -
So I fucked up my toe, which makes walking rather annoying.
Never been happier to be a dev who sits on his ass most of the time.
Also yay swivel chairs.5 -
Does anyone else get sleepy immediately after starting to watch online tutorials for literally any coding language? It’s the cure for insomnia, I swear. I’m just trying to skill up but all it makes me want to do is sleep. Even standing up and walking in place doesn’t help.7
-
Just arrived at NYU hospital for a 3 days of medical exams. While walking in from my nice day in NYC I get the feeling like I'm turning myself in at prison....
Then on the other hand compared to work... I'm on a 4 day vacation...
3 -
If you could remember that I'm not your staff anymore and stop assigning me to projects. That'd be fucking swell.
I'm meant to be infrastructure now so fuck off. Oh a devs leaving let's hand the project to the infrastructure guy who's fucking leaving also!!
Fucking genius. I'm so close to just to saying fucking swivel and walking out. Fuck the notice period. -
Before I went to school I was copying game code from book to atari computer cause it was faster than waiting for game to load from tape recorder ( especially when people are walking around on wood floor and you have constant read errors).
I probably wrote some magic spell that cursed me on my lifetime cause this shitty programming happened to chase me everywhere I go.
Damn you software you’re everywhere I go, why you’re haunting me all the time. It’s hard to find some quiet place without you watching.
So remember kids don’t write code you don’t understand cause it may fuck your life. -
In a twist of events, I got myself into a tight paper deadline to help a friend, about a project that I haven't even been a part of.
But, now that the paper is done, hopefully my friend has to go to the conference just to pay for his sins (mostly writing/literature sins), and hopefully I get back into my machine learning adventures!
... I'm super fuckin exhausted tho.
Yesterday I had a panic attack while walking to the grocery shop. Was fun! Always wanted to feel like dying without actually dying! Yay! 🤪 (Wasn't that serious. Don't overreact)3 -
This low-level computer problems, that can only be solved by your cat walking over your keyboard while either finding the solution or blowing up everything.
How do you non-cat-owning guys solve such a problem?1 -
I wonder if there is a Galaxy where at the fashion Show instead of women there are just Code parts walking on the catwalk and it is a Contest which Code is the most beautiful .. Lol1
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When a safety check you added to a cron script triggers early in the morning and you know you might be walking into a shitstorm.
Still better than not having that check and replicating an incomplete database to production. -
If you are looking for a frontender but your website is totally buggy on mobile, that doesn’t make a great impression. (On anyone really)
If i then see that you have someone walking around in a senior manager position who just came fresh out of school 3 years ago i’m just laughing my ass off.
Hell no i’m not gonna work for that scale-up!8 -
There's a 3 Lane street and 2 self driving cars are in the middle Lane but heading for each other.
What do they do so they don't crash?
What if they can't brake?14 -
Epiphany!!
01. You realized you are in matrix
00. You get only Pokemon to follow not the white rabbit (just kidding)
10. You realized you are not Morpehus
11. You realized you are also not Agent
100. You realized you are no where near Trinity or Oracle
101. You realized you are not even the Architect
110. You think you are Neo!!
111. You ask the right question : Who Am I ? (Not which pills to choose)
1000. Who you are ??? :
You are some one who is walking pass the Blonde Woman in Red without even giving a look at her. (May be too busy in our own world to realize the world around can be as beautiful as the code we write)4 -
Walking home from work gracefully,
minding my own business.
Swinging my umbrella gracefully,
With a slight crack of a grin on my face.
THEN THIS DUDE TRIES TO TAKE MY PHONE OUT OF MY POCKET! Non-gracefully!
Fuck poetic Justice, he ruined my happy thoughts,
I was planning an authentication decorator for a project am in love with
And the code was beautiful.
The phone fell on a wet footpath in the struggle,
Now my umbrella has mud on it!
So pissed!5 -
=Your Human Body!!= what do u think you run on in real life??
What do you think you run on??
Brain: C++
Skin and bones: HTML + CSS
Data: Typescript or Javascript Or Node.js
Walking and breathing: Python
Defense: Java cause every white blood cell is a new class
sleeping is basically C++ packing in all the files unless someone gets drunk they cant pack correctly thats why their brain is probably messed up >=) i would say the beer is corrupted code folders16 -
So one day i see someone in my office walking around with devrant sticker on their laptop.
Now most of my actual work related rants don't see the darkness of the feed because they had personally identifiable information. I write in draft, read and delete😶2 -
Six months ago, I architected a solution that I thought was pretty darn good. Of course my boss didn't agree and basically twisted my arm until I agreed to go along with his approach. Today, he's walking back on it.. and telling us we can refactor the solution if it doesn't make sense anymore.. so back to my original solution?
If only he listened in the first place.. -
You know I am becoming a firm believer of us all walking to the houses of people with dogs
Squatting down on their front step and dropping a deuce and then pissing all over their fucking lawns and greenery!!5 -
Once upon a time, there was a cup of coffee aimlessly walking around the open fields of Alabama. He then realized he was not from Alabama and joined with his father the Sun.
That, my friends, is the story of the epic adventures of a sheep named Bob.
Basically, Stephen said unto me: "let there not be sheep", yet there still was.
The wonders of the modern world--the wonders!
I really do like chocolate.5 -
Studying mathematics, which in fact I consider as the most effective mind practice for a developer, even if you won't utilize some concepts directly in programming.
And also wandering around and walking long distances, probably because I really like to talk to think loud 😄 and it's less weird when you're just passing by. Anyway I enjoy it personally. -
Having a vacation in Italy ATM. Walking around Naples, hoping to see beautiful things, but.. So far the only thought spinning in my head is
while(location.contains("Naples"))
System.gc();
Jesus, how can people live in a dump like this. A full GC is loooong overdue!20 -
Happiest new year to you all. Those of you like me questioning the fine line walking between dream chasing and bill paying , a special salute to you _O/
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Made a new friend with my lame social skills lmao. So I was walking around in Uni Library, looking for prescribed books for my courses, ran into some senior looking for some Penetration testing guide, since there weren't any so I just passed him some of the stuff I always carry with me, DRM-free content and all lmao.1
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Have you interacted with other devs with same level of experience and wondering about the big skill gap between you and them?
Wondering if you are actually a walking genius for having a lot more knowledge/understanding or if they are just plainly dumb and lazy.
🤷♀️9 -
After crashing from balancing school and some side project I decided to take the day off and binge on “the walking dead”.
This is the best feeling I’ve had in days. -
How many layers of increasingly verbose macros generating calls to each other is acceptable in Rust? I have to choose between 2 and 3 but IMO the 3 macro setup is nicer because it allows shit like walking a list, windowing the items and skipping the last to be separated from the actual things that are being generated.4
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I'm thinking of installing Linux as my 2nd boot os for webdevelopment, simply because I'm getting a linux-based dediserver.
Which one is the best (I know I'm walking on the thin ice) and why?4 -
Walking to work this morning I was thinking that being a web developer has a lot of future because everything is and will be online... I sit on my desk at the office and there is no internet...oh well... :/3
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Fuckkkkkk xD 😰😰😰😥😥😥😥😥😥
How will you feel if you are just a 5 yr old ambitious child walking near the border, dreaming on to become a brave soldier someday when suddenly
You press the wrong buttons and now you are in war, a 5 year old boy shooting from guns!?
I did something like that, by accidentally clicking on a test i was not ready for 😣😣 -
a camp / meet up. walking around (lost) in downtown LA. stopping at every bar we found for a pint.
walked for probably 2 miles before we realized we were going the wrong way.6 -
Walking past a conversation with people and over hearing the term CNN, thinking its about Convolution Neural Networking. Long story short. Im standing here between people discussing news resources. Fml
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Was talking with a coworker about a fictional scenario. I described walking up to the secretary receiving desk and standing there eating donut holes. There is currently a box of donut holes sitting there. I talked about standing there eating the donut holes and just starting blankly at the secretary. If the secretary tries to engage in conversation I would just act as if nothing has been said. Just keep eating donut holes. I described this as being Aggressively Anti-Social (AAS).
I will need to add this to my ideas for a tech movie. Does anyone else think up alternate universe scenarios? These crack me up.7 -
Learning Python first before learning SQL is a fucking joke...
its like learning to run before learning to walking...
my bootcamp kinda sucks12 -
I saw a thing on the Workplace stack exchange site. This college kid with no in industry experience read the false narrative that "pitting your testers against your developers for bonus money encourages better productivity and bug free code". And thought it sounded good on paper. This worries me in many ways (especially since he wants to make a startup). The first being that he couldn't see how both sides would game the hell out of such a system, which I feel any worthwhile engineer types would easily figure out. The second is seeing money as the major motivating force behind software devs doing their jobs. I had a third but I am tired.
But seriously, who is still writing this bullshit (that article, not the kid's question) in 2016? -
For the people walking slowly in the middle of the passageways, walk the fuck fast or walk on one side of the corridor. People like me get caught in a dilemma whether to walk fast pushing you to a side or walk damn fucking slow behind you.4
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!dev
What do you think about autogenic training by Johannes Heinrich Schultz or meditation in general ?
Do you use it ?
I got back to meditation, autogenic training and walking and I feel better, it helps me fight with my anxiety.1 -
Got a note saying that the raspberry pi, a colleague sent to me, has arrived. I immediately went to the post but the person responsible for the packages just walked by me saw I was ending and just looked at me while sipping from his coffee and walking away. Without saying a darn thing. And I was on time 20 minutes before they are supposed to close 😒😑
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#justAThought #non_dev
i wonder what would be the circumstances which lead to evolution of the most meek , fruit eating creatures (monkey) into the smartest, flesh eating carnivore (humans).
Did they just felt comfortable walking on 2 feet instead of 4?was this just an idea of some curious group of monkeys?
Imagine if in a parallel universe, their are lions who came up with this idea...and
Behold, in a parallel universe instead of us ,big vegan monster lion-humans are reading this post.(Vegan because why not?Its evolution)8 -
On Friday a PM I worked with on a project a long time ago, asked me to do a little task on that project, I said yes, and said that I will be sure to deliver it on Friday, but I forgot to do it and, just now I was walking to the kitchen to make myself some tea, and saw him on the way and I was like "Oh, shit"
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I work at a school. I saw a kid walking in my building whistling pumped up kicks the other day. Felt a lil bit uneasy to tell ye the truth. Said good morning to him and nodded in approaval to the song. Just to be on his good side in case he goes batshit crazy. Still uneasy.
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A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says
"Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors." -
I should have been a farmer. I don't have the will to continue making changes to the app because "But the client wants to be able to add more photos". Why can't the PMO just get me 1 project with clear deliverables from the onset.2
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So a coworker is having a conversation about travel:
Ted: I need a microwave in my room so I can cook food.
Coordinator: Okay, we can try and arrange that.
They finish talking about a couple of things. Coordinator is walking out of room.
Me (loudly): Cat's not gonna cook itself!
Ted: <nervous laughing>1 -
I love working at the new location.
My new colleagues are super chill and I'm within a 10 second walking distance to the coffee machine (one of these automates, where you just press a button and get a hot coffee within a minute, instead of having to start cooking a while before you actually need it)
But now I'm slightly worried, because my coffein-intake is skyrocketing because of this thing.2 -
POV: you were walking from the kitchen to the living room in the night when Kiki appeared out of your storeroom, dragged you in and slammed the door shut.
Your house never had a storeroom.
3 -
Met in c++. I read the course book the summer before and decided to ditch the final review class. He followed me as the instructor said "There are two guys that don't need to study!" I waived and said, "NOPE" and kept on walking with a wave. Proved it with an A. no clue what my friend got but 20 years later we are still working at the same company.
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3 database-admins are walking into a bar. Shortly the leave without ordering or even sit down for one sinple reason: they couldn't find a table.1
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My high school teacher has literally sent us an email about classroom change instead of walking from one building to another and tell us in person.2
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There have been several occasions where a teammate's computer was acting up and upon me walking over the issue resolved.
Now they all think I'm a wizard...1 -
I like watching the videos on the qt website where engineers with foreign accents describe their love of the framework it's kind of amusing
It's kind of a massive framework it takes up decent disk space !
Maybe Ill win the battle and finally eb able to keep photos of myself much diminished as these people apparently try to hide how hot I was in my actual 40s
Certainly had a slimmer waistline lol
Now I got that lower belly gut I'm working off slowly yay
Bottle of wine yesterday prolly didn't help but the 11 miles of walking today and the workout prolly balanced that out.
Need to get to running some more
Did that the other day doing sprint walks and poured goddamn sweat ! -
!devrant
What the fuck is wrong with walking deads CGI??? Did they lose all their budget or something?
DEER WALKING DEAD DIE1 -
When my would be group leader came in, looking like an escaped Zombie from the Walking Dead, and had to fake a mind blank to escape alive...
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Just found it somewhere but its funny!
A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”
The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”
The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millennia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”
The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”
At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.” -
Week3: An april fools website listing people who commited minor offenses like j-walking and speeding. the reactions we got to publish on april foola day were priceless!
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!rant
There is an applicant for a dev position coming in today for an interview and a short coding exam. I'm looking forward to walking by the meeting room while they are doing the exam and seeing the anxiety on their face while I give a completely useless thumbs up.
Hmm...code compiled. I've earned a coffee break. -
In a quiet, closed space unhindered by distractions.
For me (and I'd imagine, many others here), constant conversations in the background, people walking by, etc absolutely kill my focus and keep me from getting work done. Working from home helps a bit, but my neighbors provide plenty of their own distractions.
Honestly, I'll take a broom closet with a laptop, headphones and an Ethernet jack over any other open office design. -
I wonder what they do with this shit
Why do I keep having to repeat this ?
Maybe so they don’t get charged anymore
You know bullets are cheaper
Boom twenty cents
On a lighter note
If there is still a time period where the worst I have to worry about is walking in on a group of guys getting blown by a topless hotel attendant which is not awful at all send me to that and gtfo -
On arriving in the corpse of a once proud city I was less than astounded as I walked out the station to see everyone I’d seen before
Literally everyone
There they were in walking denial of almost a decade or more in some cases
Sitting having the same prepared conversations
Driving by blasting music
Walking their I dog
Shoplifting the same goods
And their repetition as usual causes wildlife to become confused and perform the same activities
The rats ran about
At least five of them in familiar scurrying movement
Over bold from being ignored and well fed
Filthy dirty rats
Just like the people
Filthy dirty monsters
Living like the needle in the groove
Eating away at my brain
With such violence I want to leap into an unsurvivable scenario and return back to where I just came from just to see a different brand of freak do nothing in a different fashion and throw off the routine3 -
Staying late, like always. EXCEPT MY GOAT FUCKING, PILLOW IMPREGNATING PIECE OF SHIT PHONE DOESNT PLAY AUDIO ANYMORE! FUCK! Cant use headphones, can't blast it from the speakers, it is so quiet in the office, I actually hear the field cricket WALKING across the ground!
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This was an incident during Angular JS training.
Few dudes had a 3 days training on Angular JS and I saw them walking with their happy faces but during the last day of the training the same faces were looked dull and I asked them why.
One of them said "fuck what is this Angular JS 2 ? I didn't know there is Angular JS 2 before the training was about Angular JS 1" and I was like 🤓1 -
What is the best way to use/implement metronics theme?
My employer has a project that I am on and so far metronics -- what I gathered to be easy to use front end etc has really just made developing in the frontend feel like walking around in mud. Am I missing something? -
Stacktraces of exceptions thrown in async code. When walking up the callchain just gets you in the schedulers dispatch loop...
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So, entropic has been up for a year now. Anyone walking on their feet now?
The talk: https://youtu.be/MO8hZlgK5zc5 -
when you code a lot:
walking into Mcdonald,
waiter: sir, please give your order
me:
if big_mac < 5 $ bring("big mac")
else bring("water")3 -
So I was walking down the road and a carcass of a possum was decaying in it, then I looked nearby and several dead glistening newborn kittens were dead along the road.
people here are such trash.
they better hand over the fucking money and stop it with their queer shit because if they got anything they need their ass shot. -
Funny when people who thought they had power just end fat walking wads of thick glasses wearing cookie dough lol1
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Today is my last day at <Digital Agency>, I've learned so much over the last 3 years and I'm grateful for all the opportunities that I got here.
From walking in here on my first day as React Dev and today walking away as Lead Dev.
Soon I will start at a Saas Startup!! Super excited about this new opportunity!2 -
I'm working on an internal overhaul for Orchid phasing out the last bits of code from May's crunch and making the loading pipeline much more transparent and easier to optimize, but I'm starting to get really tired of high theory and tree walking algorithms.
What are some light hearted projects that can benefit from a scripting language? I don't mind if existing scripting languages would be an objectively better choice, I don't want to build something perfect here, I just wanna have fun with this project again. -
Want a job where walking there one way eats up 50 mins or so of time so that the chunk keeps getting lost and where sitting on ones ass all day is not the norm.
Why can't the fucking FBI do what it claims to do ? Because if it still is. Not seeing it.2 -
And then people have the gaul to suggest they think I'm psycho or crazy or depressing for relating that at the present chain of events in an earlier set of these faggot events these bastards planted a rufie In a drink purchased from a redners super market that hit me when I was walking down the sidewalk because I was out of money almost
Like that makes sense
Here is an idea you fucks why not just fix our system instead of making excuses for being messed up chomo/rapist robots ?
By the way how is everyone ? All happy ?1 -
That moment when you spend an hour walking through new code because what was working suddenly stopped and the changes made couldn't possibly have botched it...
You realize that a midnight process deletes and recreates the source of this code's data.
This is why I shouldn't take work home. -
Yesterday I spent an hour fiddling in network settings trying to figure out why my laptop was not connecting to WiFi.
Giving up on it I started walking away from laptop only to realise the main WiFi adapter was switched off the whole damn time🙈
Moral of the story: Not every issue is a software problem
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