My cat put a "j" in my code and i spent 2 hours to find it

"hey there is this bug, could you fix it?"
me: sure whats the bug?
*explains the bug*

me:... thats.... thats your feature request from last week

Knock.
Knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.

Who's there?

Fibonacci.

1 minute of Thread.sleep() for Tum, the best cat ever. Rest in peace, your memory will live on in my devrant avatar.

So im colorblind and i just recently found out that most IDEs use color syntax and it sounds like such a good idea.

Was originally hired for 3 months.

Just finished the project 2 weeks ago, after 1.5 years.

I fucking hate data science now.

after saving up i finally got around to buying my first car 😍

Dear people of Subway, just because i am using cmd, it doesnt mean i am
"Hacking your wifi network" and asking me to stop is rather unneccessary

"You are rude."

Well yeah no shit sherlock, took you like what, 2 years to notice?

My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"

Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"

B: you are not even a real developer
Me: ??
B: you are using windows
Me:
Me: what the fucking fuck did you just fucking say you little fuck? Ill have you know i have written at least 4 lines of code, commented once and have a stackoverlfow reputation of -7. I have completed every beginner level udemy course on applied brainfuck mathematics and have worked as a distributed data analyst with excel 03. You are nothing to me, every piece of code i write runs on exactly 3 billion devices and i have an unsuccessful facebook meme page. Bitch.

Murdering 4 innocent children

Why do i even bother

;_;

HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW THAT BITCOIN XD

SHUT THE FUCK UP WE ALL KNOW

I really need a coffee right now

Scaleway status: fucking owned

You know why i hate lenovo with a burning passion? Not because they make industrial waste and sell it. Not because they trick non tech people into buying their garbage. No, i hate them because their shitass laptops dont even fit in my rubbish bin.

Imma go with define

I wish i could upload pics wo caption

I can finally have the big white cat because we all know that whites are superi....

I mean thanks for 20k++, ill make sure to be twice as annoying as before.

Just got an email that i dodnt get a job.

But guys... Your 'selection process' took a month. A literal month. I already got an other job 2 weeks ago.

*inhales*

OVER 3 BILLION DEVICES RUN JAVA

Oh no microsoft is gonna buy github!

Just like they bought xamarin and turned it from a buggy piece of shit into something borderline useful?

Just like they funded canonical so ubuntu could become a distro what any person can use as easily as windows because they had money to actually hire people?

Just like they bought mojang and invested billions in an education platform?

Oh boy whatever will we do...

me, sitting @ college, soldering together a charging cable

someone: oh wow you can do this stuff? i thought you were a computer scientist, not an engineer

me:...
me: yeah i need an engineering degree to wrap duct tape around cables

You know you've done research when chrome looks like this...

>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted

10/10, would answer again

In a nutshell, i severely underestimated myself, applied to a bunch of places and now they all want to hire me. Oh well.

"Java is slow"

If that is the only reason you can come up with when i ask you why dou you think java is bad, im going to assume youre either a fucking shit programmer or live in the 90s.

Me: cool, i organized all my exams to be the most effective, if i study now, i can relax for a few weeks before i have to move.

Interesting side project: hi

I really really really really really really hate doing frontend stuff.

Ah, yes, javascript

>gets new haircut
>
>better update my devrant profile

Felt adventurous and tried out nodejs.

Yall mind if i throw up real fast?

A small ducky for syntax errors

Rants for the next few days:

"Why isnt my favourite language available on a shirt"

New years eve plans:

Partying with friends ✖
Getting wasted ✖
Shooting fireworks ✖
Reading godot documentation ✔

Real university assignment:

"Write an AI to win this 2player game, restrictions: you cannot save to a file and every turn is a new run of the program."

And then people ask me why do i keep saying university is useless.

thus my power grows >:)

open telegram

'hey guys i have a cool idea for a project'

"yeah thats a neat idea lets do it"

we get drunk on the first meeting and completely forget about the project

I will never not post the geek shit i buy here

if you prefer talking over email for some damn reason thEN ANSWER MY FUCKING EMAILS

So i was teaching basic html and css to my cousin's high school class. I am not good at coming up with examples.

Please learn the fucking difference between a text editor and an IDE. I dont give a shit aboyt your super duper complex vim package manager supreme deluxe edition ITS STILL A DAMN TEXT EDITOR YOU FUCK.

Throwing rocks at c++ developers

There are good days.

There are bad days.

And there are hacking something together in a legacy html4 jsp tomcat5 webpage with frame inserts days.

Today is the third one.

*rants to some people I met in a cafe about how irresponsible making a ground rail live is*

Girl: "well people do make mistakes, right"
Me: "but they shouldn't! It's civil engineering ffs!"
Girl: "that doesn't change the fact that it's impossible for people to not make mistakes"

*realizes that I'll have to explain redundancy*

Me: "okay, so I have 2 mail servers. If I make an inevitable mistake, during an update or so, it only affects one of the servers but not the other one. So service is uninterrupted."
Girl: "that's far too complicated and technical.. explain it more easily."
Me: "alright, what job do you have"
Girl: *tells her job*
Me: "alright, so imagine that you get sick or go on a holiday or something. When there's someone else in the company that's got the same skills, they can ensure that the job gets done regardless. That's redundancy."
Girl: "aah, still too complicated!!"

What the fuck?! I removed all of the technical stuff and it's still too complicated?! How willfully ignorant or plain stupid can you be?!! Well fuck her then, but not in the way of taking her home. Now guess why I don't really like the muggles in my town. Fucking idiots!!!

"But muh BuzzFeed, conspiracy theories, deferring updates because they hog my WiFi, and casual games on my iPhone"

FUCK!!! FUCK PEOPLE!!!

You know you should sleep when you do stuff like this :/

So there is this thing @ the office that everyone has to bake 50 pancakes once.

Its 2 am, i just got done, i cant cook to save my life.

Guess what.

Its 49.

Oh hey i should go to sleep early and work out in the morning.

Or i could implement those new features for my library ive been thinking about.

Or i could polish up some of my older sites.

....or i could stay up till 3am, reading subtly gay korean comics.

When people say they hate windows but fail to provide any reason when asked

can you put this on the right side when someone scrolls?

*sends a gif of a caterpillar running at 3 fps with sparkles everywhere*

"Your every second word is 'fuck', you really should watch out for that."

Fucking give me a fucking client who doesnt fucking call me at 6am fucking saturday and ill fucking stop swearing.

Gui design is my passion as you can see

I will disregard the fact that our target platform is windows, so sure, newly hired intern, go ahead and use linux if you want, it doesnt really matter.

After that he accomplished 1 day's work in a week because he was googling how to set up linux environments

CHOOSE THE TOOL FOR THE FUCKING JOB YOU DIMWIT

Today i used an empty catch block

me: yo, im kinda low on cash right now, i should save some money and not do any iot projects this month

also me: yo, look at those nfc chips, i got an idea

When you are working on a feature and someone else is working on the same thing and you commit at the same time and now you have to resolve conflicts but both versions work

Ooh this is good.

At my first job, i was hired as a c++ developer. The task seemed easy enough, it was a research and the previous developer died, leaving behind a lot of documentation and some legacy fortran code. Now you might not know, but fortran can be really easily converted to c, and then refactored to c++.

Fine, time to read the docs. The research was on pollen levels, cant really tell more. Mostly advanced maths. I dug through 500+ pages of algebra just to realize, theres no way this would ever work. Okay dont panic, im a data analyst, i can handle this.

Lets take a look at the fortran code, maybe that makes more sense. Turns out it had nothing to do with the task. It looped through some external data i couldnt find anywhere and thats it. Yay.

So i exported everything we had to a csv file, wrote a java program to apply linefit with linear regression and filter out the bad records. After that i spent 2 days in a hot server room, hoping that the old intel xeon wouldnt break down from sending java outputs directly to haskell, but it held on its own.

if you ever feel bad or useless about your ability as a programmer, just remember that this is the kinda code i write when im tired

I wanted to look up linus torvalds but didnt remember his name

Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."

Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"

If i see someone post inspirational quotes, i can be sure that person does absolute jackshit.

you might think that windows updates are painful but this piece of shit has been like this for an hour JUST LET ME FUCKING DEPLOY

Lets assume my name is Levi Secondname (half of it is correct)

at my last workplace there was a guy with the same name, in the same office, except he was an ios dev, so when i ordered food i always put 'Android Levi' as the name, otherwise it would get mixed up

I'm really close to just quitting coding all together. This job is sucking the life out of me. I've lost my interest in code and the idea that there are better jobs out there.

My "boss" who's not even really my boss but behaves like he is, is micromanaging my every tag, and is an information hog. He doesn't document, he doesn't tell me anything, I've been here six months and still don't know half of what I need to know to do my job properly!

I'm expected to implement a new responsive design, but we don't have design specifications.
Cool, you'd think, new ideas, complete overhaul! Let's get a good foundation in bootstrap going!

WRONG! It needs to fit in with the old, fuck- ugly pre 2000 design.

Not because of any design constraints in particular, but because HE wants it that way. You know what was fucking trendy in 2000? Tables. Tables fucking everywhere. YOU KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE NOT? RESPONSIVE YOU FUCKING ICE LOLLY CHEWER!

We have no development timeline, no process management, no fucking project management. THE FUCKING PASSWORDS WERE STILL STORED IN PLAIN TEXT UNTIL LAST MONTH YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BANANA DEEPTHROATER! 😤😤😤😤😤😤

I'm doing my best here to get something resembling the old page, but there needs to be some fucking compromise! We are in fucking 2017, let's work with Bootstrap instead of against it, how about that you fucking bald cactus!

I know enough about UI to know that the way we're going, this is just going to be another unusable fucking clusterfuck.

YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING PART? I'M A FUCKING BACKEND DEV AND I WAS HIRED AS SUCH! GIVE ME A DESIGN TEMPLATE AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO IMPLEMENT IT, BUT FUCK YOU FOR EXPECTING FRONT END LEVEL DESIGN KNOWLEDGE YOU DUMB FUCKING SPAGHETTI!

When you try to learn vim to change from the memory hog Atom and you start to get the hang of it 🙌💯

After 5 (6?) years of using laptops, i was amazed how good of a pc you can get for $300-350

Experience with angular2 so far

full stack web development in 2017: mvvm model, api for backend, parsing on frontend

me: <?php echo "<div>hello".$name."</div>" ?>

Dude from old job who treated me like shit messaged me to implement 2 new features. I quit like half a year ago now. Ok i guess.

Insomnia: yeah, nice cors header
Postman: neat cors header mate

Fetch in browser: where the FUCK is the cors header you retard

im not good at coming up with strings

Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.

Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.

Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.

Client: is happy

Me: ???

Chrome's like that spoiled child that refuses to share with anyone

Imma be real with u chief, one more compilation error and im rewriting gcc

👌a fresh start

myyy preciousssss

i fucking hate svn

Aahh the stickers are here 💚

I want an office cat

Apt autoremove deemed my desktop gui unnecessary. Guess i'll type then.

"Server deployment is automated from git, so dont merge things into the master branch without permission"
Oh ok
>i create new branch
>push unfinished code because i gotta hurry
>server breaks
Well golly gee seems like you did a shit job at automating

hey, storing my data doesnt count as spying it seems

I've been lurking for a while but I had it up to here with these goddamned "js sucks" posts.

I'm not gonna deny js has severe design problems,
or that chromium is a motherfucking vampire
or that it's a goddamn pain in the ass to understand how to babel webpack + plugins correctly

that is all true.

the problem is that it's just a lazy damn circlejerk at this point where no learning is gained, with no outlook on any possible solution of these problems, let alone ANY type of actual collaboration to help the situation.

sometimes people don't even care to specify what is specifically wrong with js. It's just "js sucks" and that's it, farm ++.

slack is a ram hog, yes, yes, we know... WE KNOW.
every 5 days someone has to remind that!

is there any solution? why is it a ram hog? is electron the problem, or is the slack source code doing weird shit?
are there any lightweight alternatives to electron?

That's actual good conversation, but no, apparently it's impossible to drop the snarky tone for 2 seconds.

I think it's fine to point out defficiencies in applications, but it's not ok to shitpost on and on.

I would very ok with someone shitcomplaining about js is if they were doing something about it.

I'm still ok with people letting of some steam, I'm fine with people expressing frustration from direct work experience with js. I'm not ok with people and their ignorance and snarky comments and non helpfulness while comfortably laughing from their own camp of totally unrelated technologies.

Hearing sysadmins or people that code exclusively in c shit on js makes me feel my insides twirl.

Imagine I didn't do shit for linux, but I went around forums pointing out the defficiencies, like the lack of standards, and saying that mac is way better.

Or I if yapped on and on about openvpn and having an obscure as fuck api, meanwhile not doing a single fucking thing about it, or not even using it in a day to day basis.

do you hate slack's ram usage? me too and js isn't going anywhere in the next 5 years, so either do something or provide smart conversation, diagnosis of the problem or possible alternstives/solutions, otherwise stfu

Finally, edge for android is out, bye bye firefox :)

Me, whenever i work with something other than java: "Wow, this could be done so much easier with java"

fucking hell, piss off

Hi im Bind, i know 2 good programming jokes and 7 thousand that will make you go "meh"

me typing: 40wpm

me: discovers that indian dubstep/goa is a thing

me typing: 150wpm

Sitting at home, looking at my facebook friends. Im noticing a trend that all the people getting diplomas are the ones who dont even have a github account.

After not having any caffeine for 2 months, a can of monster hits like a fucking truck.

>be me
>automating video stuff
>ffmpeg makes it super easy

Thank you ffmpeg

I think im sick. Not because my whole body hurts, my nose is running and i cant even move, but because i just had the idea that i should unit test my personal project.

Finallyyyy no more assignments, i can work on my own...

Oh wait

I gotta write my thesis

Fuck

The problem with sqlite is that now i only want to use sqlite

Whys everyone posting these

Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!

"No thanks lol it works this way too"

Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution

"Why are you so mean"

We were having a conversation with a bunch of friends and somehow i came up with this

Ps, the data is valid

If some yampy bloke ask me bout the origin of my username again imma shove a can of ice cold monster™ energy drink up em ass (: Is it hard to look it up?? (Dont look it up tho, it porn)

So it a funky ass breakbeat/chiptune kinda album. Sod off.

Psa: i dont give a shit if you use php but dont you fucking dare echo your shit out to the dom or i will fucking gut you you degenerate

Text your girlfriend "send nodes" and post her reaction

Dont you hate it when you cant see the screen because of the hookah smoke while coding

Its been a few hours, and i was busy with meetings but

THANK Y'ALL FOR 10K ++

I remember wk20something, when i joined devrant. I was just starting a job as a data analyst, and the wk at that time spoke to me on a personal level, so i wrote a quick rant and didnt give it much thought. The next day i opened devrant and had like 100++s and a bunch of comments. Since then ive met a lot of awesome people here and im happy i clicked the install button back then. Thanks cfox and brogus for the opportunity, love ya.

Already got a longboard as a 10k-day gift :^)

I was talking with a guy who is making an android app for his thesis but hes "shitdamn awful in java". I offered to help because im so fucking nice.

"oh but i dont have facebook, is it a problem?"

Nah sure i dont use facebook anyways, got telegram?

"No"

Riot? Irc?

"Nope"

Then what do you use???

"Skype"

?!!?!??!??!!???!??!

Since when did devrant become a battery hog??

Wanted to build a quick app, thought would be an hour tops. Lets use react native, why the fuck not.

Now after 4 hours im sitting here, wondering why the fuck did i have the great idea of ever touching rn again.

There's a lil tool someone wrote that runs as a post build event for one of our projects. I got bored of watching that tool hog a single CPU thread for like half a minute each time I had to build, so I tried making the thing multi-threaded...

...and it worked! Shit runs on all threads for just a few seconds now 💪🏻

Angular: the only fucking place where you have to import a module to use global variables

Aye so i got a new job, and its android. I thought "yeah sure, ive been a java dev my whole life, it will be easy".

And it is easy.

But its like a fleshed out java, with a trillion built in classes and xml (seroiusly, fuck xml), and also the studio eats away my ram.

Nobody:

Very stupid people with no github projects who are probably stuck at making wordpress sites: haha ai is just if statements

As we all know, coding stands for

Carlos!
Oy!
Deleting
Internal
Network?
Great.

Well im slowly getting there, but i still dont understand why does my wife want me to make her cam...

Just happened to stumble across an indian job offer. They want a fulltime php dev for 20k indian moneys a month. Thats not even $300. Are they... Are they serious or is this just a bad company? Because thats less then what i made with a part time frontend job when i was just a beginner. Is this a trend in india to underpay people by this much?

Yes, family member, i surely CAN fix your thermostat

I just spent 2 hours training a ml5 model with over 200mb of mumble rap lyrics, AMA.

Touch my screen, i dare you

I mean go ahead, its a touchscreen, cool, huh?

So there is this programming competition i regularly enter. I dont give a shit about the competition part, its just fun to make something in a limited time. This year, i was kinda hyped that i threw together a modern stack, with Java Spark and VueJS, that would be really cool to use.

Today we got the requirements.

Php and jquery.

Well fuck me for living in 2017 apparently.

Java is frying my CPU right now

Hey im a fullstack DEVELOPER, not a fullstack DESIGNER, so dont fucking ask a colorblind person to 'just throw a simple design together, it shouldnt take more than 10 minutes'

Man i really wanna have a trip to india but they make you fill out so fuckin many papers to leave the eu that im just too lazy ._.

I sit in front of the damn computer all day and i should really go outside.

Is obsidian a fucking joke?

Seriously, is it a joke? Why would you ever care so much about indexing literally everything, if the entire thing crashes and/or takes >5min to LITERALLY just open the fucking directory and/or (so help you) if that directory is full of projects/repos or whatever the fuck and the total size of said directory is like >5GB.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU INDEX EVERYTHING? -- "Ohh obsidian's not supposed to be used a fully fledged IDE, ohh obsidian should just handle MD files and normal sized projects, ohh the plugins and ease-of-use" -- Fuck.

There's no fucking real reason to index everything, BY DEFAULT. You open a directory with Obsidian? Doesn't matter, it's 1 byte, it's 100GB, you get indexed. Deal with it. It will use LITERALLY every resource your computer has. I'm surprised it doesn't go galaxy brain and ping if any other computers/devices are on the network and then attempt to connect and use their hardware (obsidian can be like a node!).

How shit can you be at understanding basic data structures and algorithms, where you just revert to based google-chrome brain and let the FUCKING TEXT EDITOR -- OBSIDIAN IS A FUCKING TEXT EDITOR HOLY SHIT -- hog all conceivable memory.

I swear to <some-deity> if anyone fucking says "Ohhhhhhhh actually, it's not a text editor, it has plugins and features and shit, it does all dis cool stff", OR, "Ohhhhh actually, obsidian indexes things for a very specific/rationale/apt/pragmatic/academic reason" OR "ohhhh, I have 100 iphones, 1000 ipads and a trillion desktop computers that each have 256GB of memory, why you hating on obsidian?" then go kick rocks. The fucking lot of you. Are you fucking kidding me.

I now understand why we have multi-core processors. So that a process that dun shit the bed doesn't hog the whole fucking CPU! Of course at the expense of "yeah our shitty software can hog the CPU no problem, there's now several cores anyway". Hardware solving the crap that software presents, yet again.

I just had the shortest interview of my life

Today was my birthday and i spent it debugging smalltalk codes

Creating a custom arch Linux live usb.

Need install media with lts kernel and thought I'd go full hog with x/i3 and some of my apps/configs.

Wish me luck.

hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho

IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE

I just had another shitty idea, yall know cards against humanity. I wanna make a hearthstone-yugioh-CAH -esque game where the cards are all dev-related. Like say [c++] {onSummon: 'shuffle 2 pointer cards into your deck'}. Ill probs start a collab here, dunno, if ya steal my idea then dont be a bitch about it and say so in the comments.

I really wish i was a good designer. Id love to put together attractive frontends with cool and unique ideas.

I also wish i wasnt colorblind.

I typed like 200 lines of c++ code and it ran on first try but i still dont like c++, no

a haiku about xaml:

oh my fuck, please work
fuck two way data binding
fucking microsoft

There are two kinds of people:

1) Those who can extrapolate incomplete data

Through advanced robotics i shall build my waifu.

Xamarin.forms. True multiplatform* by Microsoft.

*you just have to make sure not to use any of the platform specific features, or write 3 completely different codes

i am so going to embed this into something

Friend: 'im really anxious, i need a job this summer and i dont know if i can find one with my stack'
Me:'why, whats your stack?'
Friend:'php, mysql, javascript'
Me:'...DUDE'

When you thought web browsers use too much memory, introducing a document scanning app that uses only 2,7 GB of ram.

Just a slight memory leak.

Me, 2 months ago: "This stack is such an overhead and unneccesarily complicated. The app could be made in like a week with jsp and jquery."
Other guy, 2 months ago: "No, we use Spring and angular2, and these 7 test/automation tools"

Other guy now: "We are nowhere, we havent even completed sprint1"
Me:

Everytime i see someone listing a shitload of languages, i safely assume that they speak around 2-3 of them fluently. I did some c++ and can write a site in php but they are nowhere near my java knowledge, so i only list them as something i played around with. There is just no way you are fluent in c++, java and javascript because they take half a lifetime to master individually

Im still not convinced i know how to code so i guess im still learning?

Happy star w-
SHUT THE FUCK UP
...okay

"best [distro/ide/laptop/buttplug] for web development?"

So you are.... You are basically asking whats the best for editing text files?

Haters: "Kotlin is going to replace java"

Market: "nah"

:^)

me: teaching java

student: class Something extends Object

me: ...

me: ......

Bind learning c++ chapter 3

Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.

Okay christmas is cool but im waiting for january when all hardware will be on sale

*reverts a layout file to the one in git*

*gradle fails, no components found, electricity goes off, office catches fire, the world ends*

# gym rant

My reaction when people hog the only two squat racks in the entire gym for 40+ minutes doing lifts that don't need rack at all. All I want to do is implement time division multiplexing for equipment.

Even thinking about using javascript

I just got a bugreport for an ages old release of a software which was assumed finished. Problem is, i couldnt find the source anywhere.

"hey, could you send me the file so i can check the bug?"
*sends jar file*
"yay im saved"

thanks java, for being easily disassembled 👌😍

Chrome you greedy bastard!!! 😤😤😤😠😠

I was tricky this time and sent a separate email for the client and my boss about the new release.

Client response: "Its very good, runs flawlessly, could you check x if you have the time? It gives errors simetimes"

Boss response: "[...] urgent fix get working on it right now [...]"

Seems like my boss has been the fucking piece of shit all this time :)

[wk200]
Ordered a set of copic markers, they should be here tomorrow. At least this quarantine crap gives me time to draw again after 5 years.

Few days ago i niticed one of my (site) accounts was deleted for inactivity. I thought fuck it, ion use that site, lets have fun. I wrote an email to get it restored:

"Sorry i got ass cancer and it took dr lil pump 2 years to cure me and couldnt use the site from the hospital"

Today, i got an email that i got my account back.

im pickle bojack

here to say

fuck heroku's java deployment

I pressed "update" on windows 10 and its been runn..

Wait nevermind, it finished in about 5 minutes on my old dual core laptop with a 5400rpm hard drive.

Sent a cv to a company because facebook threw their ad at my face and i said why not. They emailed me that they would call me today. I dont have a phone. Its not fucking 2007. Call me on matrix or telegram or even skype ffs.

Until you have written ethereum vm hex code by hand, dont talk to me about hard tasks

Wanted to do a 1 hour coding challenge. Thought "hey why not use js this time". 3 hours later, my blood pressure is skyrocketing and i am really bothered by js threading.

Throwback to that one time i was working from home

Hey, my team is attending a hackathon kind of thing tonight. Can you recommend us some interesting php+js stacks?

"Wtf windows is terrible you dont have a useful terminal"

Me: *installs cygwin*

Drugs, caffeine abuse and the thought of money.

I spend so much fucking money on electronics, its getting out of hand at this point.

Why even is Microsoft Teams?

Why does it suck so bad? Why is it a memory hog? Why does the ELECTRON desktop app not have native ARM64 support neither on Windows nor macOS? Why is it even an Electron app? Why the web version does not work with Safari (then again, barely anything more complex than my portfolio site works on Safari)? Why is the UI from 2016? Why is it preinstalled with Windows 11? Why the pre-installed Windows 11 version is a completely different entity? Why the preinstalled Windows 11 version does not work with school/work version of Teams calls?

I could mention so many libraries and frameworks but im gonna go with arduino.

"Hey, we should switch to xy framework"

(:

no

I crash my system on purpose because cinnamon's fallback mode is the best desktop environment

Just realized, that after a few months of running my crypto trading algo, i have around 0.1 bitcoin. Started by mining monero in like february, and just traded back and forth afterwards.

Merry 2018 in advance.

If it aint a secret, comment w/ your new years resolution so other lazy fucks can get motivated.

Mine: a 3d game (godot), releasing my data science java libraries, building some kind of robot

Aint a rant, but pulsar player has the best fucking implementation of the material design ive ever seen, everything is perfectly flat and still alive aaah

Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm

Bind learning c++ chapter 2

Did the guy who made this language know how assembly works or did he just guess along the way?

[corona wk]
Not at all, but i bought an electric scooter so i dont have to take public transport.

Also instead of "bless you" we now say "corona".

Thats how gradle eats ram fucking snorlax

Ive been sitting here, trying to do VERY basic shit in angular (hiding elements and api calls), and after downloading 5 additional node modules that break my "build" (its not a fucking build, this is an interpreted language), im confident to say, fuck angular.

Been using the mouse today and now my wrist hurts :/

The past few days ive been looking into angular.

Its a bloated piece of crap. It makes your page twice the fucking size and adds tons of unneccessary code with shit syntax. Whatever you do in angular can be done in a normal language, even fucking vanilla javascript. Stop fucking making unneccessary frameworks for js developers who are too lazy to learn a proper language.

I should be studying but i started working on my last idea (read the rant), will probs post it as a collab once i got something that actually works

Can anyone tell me why is it good to use some crap language that transpiles to javascript? Yes i hate js too but 90% of my time using reason/ts/elm is just

>ddg how to do x in y
>no answer
>Js.unsafe.eval "js code"

Like???? None of them is a 100% complete wrapper???

I got an interview on monday but i completely forgot i even applied. They said its java AND c#, so i can guarantee a 50% score i guess.

Can someone explain what the fuck is a namespace while we r at it?

If you whine about windows updates then i seriously dont know what to tell you.

[worst hypothetical dev job]

You know how theres a dedicated person in porn whos job is blowing the actors so they are hard? That, but with writing all the boilerplate code and nothing else.

How the fuck can Slack use more than 2GB of RAM running inside of the fucking browser? wow

umm..devrant? hello?

It doesnt matter that i turned auto-update off, if devrant gets a new version i WILL hear about it. We all will hear about it.

The absolute state of open source (this is a facebook repo)

Moving to a new office this week. The only chinese restaurant nearby is one of those where you get 5 times the amount of rice compared to the meat. Fuck.

status update: i still cant fucking solder

you could kill a man with these spikes ffs

Update came for the cpu thingies. Seems to be fixed because i cant access the cpu registers like before. But damn son it slows the pc down, fuck.

Thinking about switching to a ryzen3.

All my respect goes to sysadmins, ive been trying to hack together a cronjob for tha past 2 hours and its still not working.

just got a linkedin msg

"Hello, im from a headhunter company, looking for..."

THEY ARENT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE

>50$ for a display driver

yeah fuck you i'll solder

the workstation is coming along nicely 👍

Man, running a Minecraft server with 5 players on a VPS with 1 vCore and 1GB of ram is *really* pushing this thing to its limits!
Thank goodness Ubuntu Server doesn't need much ram to run, because Minecraft is a real resource hog.
I hope Hetzner approves my account on monday, so we can move to a 2 core VPS with 4GB of ram!

Me: *pushes up code that should stop bad thing from happening*
Bad thing: *doesnt happen for a few hours*

Is..is it good??? Did i fix it????? Or does the thing just randomly not happen right now??????? We will never know.

Im showcasing a demo app on sunday, 9am

Only problem is

Spag Heddy the night before ._.

LoL.. I knew this one successful independent developer who told me:

"Why do all these companies use inefficient technologies - seriously? What I usually do is: I present myself to a company, I ask them what they would like to happen, what their problem domain is and then I present a solution. A lot of companies I've consulted for were jaw-dropped that an entire efficient and complex system was only a size of 52 KiloBytes because I just used simple languages to accomplish the task".

He has a point.. look at all these companies nowadays forcing you to Java, GlassFish, NodeJS and what not. Just the frameworks and libraries alone hog down 10 minutes of build time (sometimes 30!!), the worst companies using frameworks that require you to rebuild an entire project just to see a change in the UI.. they don't even add a watcher, and even then.. omg, not to mention averaging project file sizes of 100+ MB.

Sigh.. where is the development world going?

Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.

2d games were and will always be better than 3d games

I dont really have a story here, i just want to thank every college teacher/assistant teacher who has real world experience and decides to pass it on to students instead of picking from the billions of job offerings.