Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
I met one of my friend from my childhood he asked me what I do for a living.
I told him : "I am a full stack developer"
He : What does that mean? What you have to do in office?
Me: I write code for websites in very simple words.
He: Like facebook?
Me: yes, exactly.
He: So you work for windows?
Me: What makes you think that?
He: Aren't websites comes with the computer?
Me: I am so unfortunate to meet you.13 -
1) Stop going to univershity
2) Started python coding at home from online courses.
3) Got the best paid job among batchmates.14 -
My wife asked me to give her some cash.
I asked how many bytes!
I'm staring at divorce papers now.8 -
- Wife logs onto uni website Saturday at 11pm to drop an elective, drop deadline is Monday
- Goes to course list and chooses course to drop
- "Course modification is available Monday-Saturday from 6am to 10pm"
😑 are you kidding me..
Like 😡😠 websites don't have business hours! Servers don't need nights or weekends off!! It's ridiculous to think that someone had to code this block for these hours, more effort than just leaving it always available.6 -
Well.. I'm a front end developer and this quote is my favourite.
"A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it's not that good. "4 -
Ask questions during interview.
Ask about trainings - it's usually a good sign when company offers training budget. Ask about specifics - sometimes it's a shared pluralsight account, and nothing else, which means that that had an idea and half assed it into existence.
Ask tech recruiter about overtime, a good sign is when they have no idea or say that it must be budgeted and scheduled - it means that it does not happen often.
Ask if it is possible to select and change projects, and how often it happens - if often, it may be bad low level management, or people learning new things and jumping between projects.
Also make sure to ask about rules for promotions and pay rises. Good company wił have a clear set of rules in place.
All of the above apply to mid to large companies.
For small company, i'm sure it will be different.3 -
Was asked to make an e-sign system that manipulates PDFs to insert an image and the date at different coordinates on x number of different pages.
200 hours later, it was done. Now I'm the PDF guy2 -
Seriously, look at this guy’s bloody phone. He’s not letting go of it, it’s been like this for ages. He’s got missing pieces of glass above the lcd, there are cracks all over, sellotape all over. At some point you gotta realise it’s affecting the user experience.
If you don’t want to get a new phone, at least have the screen replaced!!
24 -
I saw a post about headphones that reminded me.
Last week I was trying to find out why my code wasn't working. At about an hr in my wife asks me "honey, why do you have headphones on but they aren't plugged into anything?"
I looked at her partially spaced and thought to myself "I have headphones on?!?!"
Lol I tend to do this a lot.4 -
I never touch my code if anyone else have made changes in them without asking me.
I cry like a bitch when I get home.6 -
Saw this on Facebook and couldn't help but share here! 😂
A young woman submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke…
The query:
Dear Tech Support,
’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
Dear Desperate,
“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’
Good Luck!3 -
How I met python
[long read but worth]
There's nothing wrong with falling in love with a programming language for her looks. I mean, let's face it - Python does have a rockin' body of modules, and a damn good set of utilities and interpreters on various platforms. Her whitespace-sensitive syntax is easy on the eyes, and it's a beautiful sight to wake up to in the morning after a long night of debugging. The way she sways those releases on a consistent cycle - she knows how to treat you right, you know?
But let's face it - a lot of other languages see the attention she's getting, and they get jealous. Really jealous. They try and make her feel bad by pointing out the GIL, and they try and convince her that she's not "good enough" for parallel programming or enterprise-level applications. They say that her lack of static typing gives her programmers headaches, and that as an interpreted language, she's not fast enough for performance-critical applications.
She hears what those other, older languages like Java and C++ say, and she thinks she's not stable or mature enough. She hears what those shallow, beauty-obsessed languages like Ruby say, and she thinks she's not pretty enough. But she's trying really hard, you know? She hits the gym every day, trying to come up with new and better ways of JIT'ing and optimizing. She's experimenting with new platforms and compilation techniques all the time. She wants you to love her more, because she cares.
But then you hear about how bad she feels, and how hard she's trying, and you just look into her eyes, sighing. You take Python out for a walk - holding her hand - and tell her that she's the most beautiful language in the world, but that's not the only reason you love her.
You tell her she was raised right - Guido gave her core functionality and a deep philosophy she's never forgotten. You tell her you appreciate her consistent releases and her detailed and descriptive documentation. You tell her that she has a great set of friends who are supportive and understanding - friends like Google, Quora, and Facebook. And finally, with tears in your eyes, you tell her that with her broad community support, ease of development, and well-supported frameworks, you know she's a language you want to be with for a long, long time.
After saying all this, you look around and notice that the two of you are alone. Letting go of Python's hand, you start to get down on one knee. Her eyes get wide as you try and say the words - but she just puts her finger on your lips and whispers, "Yes".
The moon is bright. You know things are going to be okay now.10 -
OK, another crappy joke time.
0 went to a bar and asked for a vodka shot. The bartender gave him 2 vodka shots. He said, "For you 1 is COMPLEMENTary"!3 -
Full HD 27' monitor 😍😍😍 when you can divide your screen into two halves easily and there's no need to do Alt+tab
3 -
Before new years eve I prepared a sheet on google sheets that allowed people to add drink recipes and order drinks (specify how many of each drink they want), calculated part of budget each person had to cover and generated shopping list of drink components with exact amounts needed.
It was more fun to make that thing than to attend the party.2 -
Me ( a python dev) pointing to a good java joke in dev rant to my brother who happens to be working at TCS for the past 5 years as a Java Developer...
Me: Java is shit...
He: huh java is the best! every language in the world is written over java. My manager said this.
Me: I think I will kill him today in his sleep.4 -
Regarding the Area 51 news. These guys are really stupid. They’ll deservedly got shot soon as they come close enough to the fence, and even if they get over, then what??
Anyone who know anything, knows that you need to spawn a jet pack, get to the second hanger ASAP, and jump in the Rhino. They can’t touch you after that, even with 5 stars!!6 -
Companies! For the love of your peoples sanity give the developers of all ages worthwhile machines. If you send us to clients to develop iOS apps, send macs also 😤4
-
colleague 1 : hii,we need to talk.
Me: okay,what?
colleague 1 : we have issues with you.
Me : post on GitHub bro..!2 -
First day at work, my PC starts updating, reboots and suddenly, the boot partition is corrupt.
Nice way to start in Dev.3 -
Thank you devrant for the awesome stickers i put one on my laptop and one on my on my desktop the last one i may put on my car.
-
Started a new job last week. Pays a tad below average for position, but i get training time and budget for anything i want.
So far i have had few days of company introduction, and now a week for training courses related to position.
I have not seen any code yet, brought no value in, just joined.
Massive green flag to me. -
Just found this awesome function in the old commits.
def clean_cache():
'''
This function cleans the stored cache in every update. Make sure to call it before every feature addition.
'''
print 'Cache is cleared. '
return2 -
This is just a temporary workaround. I will come back to this and fix this later. NEVER HAPPENS :)3
-
I would like to see a full stack developer version of it.
Found this on 9gag it's fucking hilarious...
-
The IT policy at my company is down right ridiculous. You’re required admin rights to fucking move desktop shortcuts to the trash, all chrome extensions and almost anything you download from the internet is a ‘virus’, good luck getting driver support for external devices.2
-
Writing my code, go to run it and boom its not working. I pull up stack over flow to get some insight. At this point i was working on my code for countless hours and became a bit annoyed so i decided to copy what someone wrote on stack over flow delete my code where i thought it was flawed. I run it and Blam bugged the hell outa my code. So i undo go back to my original. Turn to a friend and ask what do you thinks going wrong. He resets my browser and there it goes it works. I just kind of gave him a blank stare and thought to myself Im a dumbass!1
-
My wife says to me we need a new car..
Im sitting here trying to decide what I need more a car or a new computer.
Decisions, decision..7 -
what is the point of having massive HR departments if something as expected and frequent as university hiring can't go smoothly?
i managed to reach the interview round for a big 4 firm only for the interviewer to not show up for 4 hours from my time slot (i waited the entire time - took periodic screenshots for proof), HR to say "we'll reschedule your interview, this happened because of internal miscommunication" more than THREE months ago, and dip. until december they'd repeat the same. now they've ghosted. thanks, virtual hiring.
how is it the candidate's fault? found out this isn't rare by speaking to a few others from my network who i knew were interviewing for the same firm. for students whose lives can change completely based on the outcome of an opportunity that they came across due to sheer luck and could definitely make use of because of their hard work - this is so heartbreaking and demotivating.1 -
Company i work for just posted updated pay rates.
It's good. They went from lower end of spectrum to a little above the average in terms of pay, and benefits stay the same - solid. -
can't believe it but things actually have started to fall into place on their own, career-wise. feels unreal. need to work enough to afford a cottage with a cobblestone path & my life will be complete2
-
Every bloody time I respond to a comment, devRant asks me to add my 2 cents. I only have pence here, and there is not fucking coin slot!!!! 😡
I tried the lighting port, it doesn’t fit.
Is anyone else experiencing this pay wall?11 -
This Monday I start my first job as a junior web developer and a coworker already my first two hours will be free time, don't know how to feel 😓2
-
Not leaning on unit tests. I usually write them after testing my code manually, and lose time for testing feature by hand.1
-
@HampusMa
What does that mean?
Noticed it while on another rant but didn’t want to hijack the topic. I’m genuinely curious.
15 -
Okay so I am a computer science student, and here's what my parents and relatives think I do-
typing random letters and numbers into the computer system until it magically turns into some working mobile app, which is their expectation. While I am coding some addition program just for them to see 2+2=4.7 -
Fucking Browser autocorrect!
You type the same address a hundred times, every time hoping it’ll guess the address after the first.... second..... third.... character. No, it shows you a similarly named site that you went on months ago. End up having to type most of the domain name before it catches it.
Then, one day, you hastily mis-spell the address and press enter, now autocorrect keeps fucking directing you to there!!8 -
Stick to one project about which you want to learn but don't know how to do it,complete it...and now you have learnt something new
-
I was brought into my new position as part of an transformation of waterfall to agile methodology.
We are now running 4 while projects and need to restart the remaining 29 projects using agile principles. The business management type people love agile, but somehow the people inside the current waterfall practices doesn't.
They are afraid their silo work will either expand or not exist thus making it hard to transform the company. Also the company have been subjected to the dead sea effect.
Therfore, the project that is currently in the space of transformation is making my blood boil because people just ain't passionate enough about software.
Either you craft software, or, well you sit and suckle other's money. People suckling should please grow up and start venturing beyond there cozy 9 to 5 and transform to be a professional software doer rather than a BA, DEV, IT GUY.
YOU BASTARDS GET A SHITLOAD OF MONEY AND DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THE EFFORT YOU BRING.
It is your software, own it, be proud of it. Read up to make it better. And as always, the people debugging your code can be a violent psychopath -
Ever tried explaining GitHub to someone? I swear it's like trying to teach a dog to ride a bike. You can try, but it's probably not going to end well.
Okay, rant over. Back to coding... and dealing with merge conflicts... and pull requests... and GitHub issues... sigh.4 -
every day my boss says he'll review the requirements for our product. every day he forgets to do so. every day he asks where the update for the next stage is. every day i remind him. every day he forg ---2
-
NOT DEV RELATED - JUST SPREADING AWARENESS...
For most of us, a PJ Day sounds like a luxury, but for those with lupus, it’s too often a necessity due to their disease. PJ DAY is a way to honor and support the many people with lupus while also raising funds. #knowlupus
2 -
I stumbled upon series of stories about serial killer/system administrator addicted to lager and onion bahjits who hates users, managers, beancounters and sales people.
I'm just gonna leave it here https://theregister.com/data_centre...1 -
Always have a roll forward plan, backups, and a site B. Especially if you think it is a non critical system.
-
I will train myself to be an avenger. In case things went wrong like ultron.
Anyone wanna join me?
Write your superpowers.3 -
I like working my 10 hours a day. So for the 6 of them I want to pair program with my grads I expect them to be as focused as I am, actually even more, but 25 minutes into a session they just zoom out and start making jokes.1
-
Developer 1: You know what they say, programming is just like sex.
Developer 2: Wait, what? I've never heard that before.
Developer 1: Yeah, you spend all your time trying to fix things that should never have happened in the first place.8 -
Out of curiosity, how many years of PROFESSIONAL experience do people have on here. I’m assuming it’s quite diverse but skewed towards those at junior to mid-level for some reason. Just put a number down. I’ll start.
043 -
I spent ~12h working on a simple issue/bug.
7h was spent on rebuilding local dev environment which is a clusterfuck of maven profiles, tomcat, some autogenerated degeneracy, and 2 different build systems for JS.
5h spent on actual bug fixing, code reviews and so on.
FML2 -
Okay so being a developer is mostly like playing a never ending game of whack-a-mole with BUGS, you think you have fixed one until few more pops up like a bad case of acne.
But you know what's even worse? When you finally get something working, and you're feeling all proud of yourself, and then someone comes along and tells you that it's not "visually appealing" enough. "Can't you just add some more glitter and unicorns to the homepage? Oh, and can you make it look like it was designed by a unicorn who majored in art?"12 -
Send an email.
Or, more seriously: invite only people who must be there, and can add something to the discussion, have an agenda, stick to it, and plan the meeting so that it ends at the start of lunch break. That way everybody will be interested in finishing on time or earlier. -
I often get distracted by other incompetent teams and preach ddd and tdd to them instead of writing my own code1
-
what are personal projects if not the daughters of hackathon solutions that never saw the light of day6
-
One of my few friends died with unknown reasons. Would it be unethical to hack their accounts to get more info?5
-
Today students i am going to tell you a story.
"Once upon a time, there was a man...he went to school and suddenly a car crashed him"
-_-
"He died"
-_-
"The End"
bruhhhhhhhhh....
pj26 -
I am currently going to start data structures and algorithms in python...
suggest me a roadmap according to your experience2 -
This is a PJ :
Teacher: What is 2 + 2?
Me: 22
Teacher: no.it's four
Me: dumbass
Teacher: What does it means??
Me: The pretty and well-mannered answer you give someone if they correct you.
Teacher: Oh! you are a good boy.2 -
I caught up a scammer last night he was doing some astrology and stuff.
He asked for money......
I gave him a grabify link.....
He gave me his location(accidentally)and told me to teach him the trick....
He wasn't even scared -
need more experience for good entry-level jobs, need a good entry-level job for more experience. yay4
-
Get to know the new company better (Changed job shortly before Christmas).
Learn some DPs, DDD, k8s, finish introduction to hacking course, start doing htb and thm machines, finish and defend my thesis, finish books clean code, thinking in java (reading it to fill in gaps on knowledge), a few books about pentesting.
Among non tech goals: pass drivers license exam for cars, another one for motorcycles, go back to learning russian. -
I don't know game development but idk I accepted an offer for game development competition..
the fuck I didn't even knew how to make one...
Now I. am working with Ursina Engine....
even the code on google does not work........1 -
Got pissed that my story delayed the whole project by 3 weeks (major story, lots of changes, and management decided to put me in a few extra activities outside of the project).
Stayed up until like 23:00 to deliver PR.1 -
Does anyone else also feels like "I knew it why I didn't try this way, this was easy" after using stackoverflow1
-
Alias git commit to git stash.
Write a script that opens this page in fullscreen mode after a few minutes of inactivity https://fakeupdate.net/win10ue/ -
Update of previous post
I just got assigned to a project.
Project-specific training is designed to take up to 20 days.
I got materials, videos, and a person who is in this project for a long time to supervise training and introduce me to the project.
Only problem is that the project apparently uses 5 years old version of base framework. -
which is the best cloud provider for a complete beginner (user/dev) in terms of community support, employer preference and user-friendliness?
i know that understanding the tech and concepts behind it matters more than getting familiarized with a specific platform, but i'm looking to build a more diverse profile and have noticed many positions asking for AWS/Azure experience.
since i'll be starting from scratch, any provider with easy-to-follow documentation, online help and certifications that don't leave you broke (would have to pay myself, earn very less as a student from a third-world country, parents/current employer can't support) would work.8 -
Isn't the subscribe function devrant work like creepy stalking someone...
Like what he commented,liked or posted....2
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View