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!rant
Customer: What's the difference between an antivirus and an antimalware?
Me: *thinks for a second* So an antimalware program is like if you're on a beach with a metal detector. You're looking around for metal that's already buried in the sand. An antivirus is like actively watching people for if they drop metal on the ground.
Customer: That's an interesting analogy.
Coworker: *quietly* That's a actually a really good analogy...6 -
Oh my god... Storytime.
A customer comes in with I assume is his father or grandfather.
Customer: I need a computer, but without all the internals
Me: So a case?
Customer: Yes, I need a Dell computer outsides, but without the internal components.
Me: Well, we don't have Dell cases, but we sell custom build cases and they come with a power supply.
Customer: *says nothing, but looks interested*
Me: *walks over to the cases to show him* So this is what the cases look like and we have two types, one for a ATX and one for a micro-ATX.
Customer: *still says nothing, but looks at them*
Me: What motherboard do you have at the moment?
Customer: Well, I don't have anything right now, but I'm replacing another computer that didn't work very well. I'm going to be getting some Dell parts to put in here.
Me: O-okay. So this other computer, I'd like to see it in shop to see what's going on with it.
Customer: Oh, you do NOT want to do that. I hooked it up to another computer and it blew it up.
Me: Huh, that's weird. I'd still like to look at it if possible.
Customer: Oh no, it's all wired wrong and... *some bullshit, but stay with me*
Customer: I am the best at technology. My hand has computer parts in it--government funded. *some more bullshit*
Me: Okay... *I try to bring it back around* Well, I'd still like to see the other computer for myself. So you don't have parts for this new build yet, right? You don't know what type of motherboard you have?
Customer: No.
Me: Well, I would get the internals first, so you know what size of case to get, and then get the case.
Customer: Okay. Thank you for your time.
He shook my hand with his "cyborg" hand and I was tempted to say something about "try not to crush my hand," but elected not to. Also during this entire exchange, the old man continuously farted in the background.22 -
So Valve just released an update to Steam that includes a fork of WINE called Proton that allows Linux users to play and install Windows games as if they were native.
About 30 titles are currently officially supported but more are planned.30 -
Me: Coffee has more coffee than energy drinks.
Coworker: You're right, coffee does have more coffee than energy drinks.
Me: I meant caffeine!19 -
Me: Your computer has Operating System corruption.
Customer: What does that mean?
Me: *something, something potato chips* and the only fix is to reinstall Windows.
Customer: Well that's stupid! I need my computer! Darn Windows! Microsoft should pay for that reinstallation! What causes that corruption anyway?
Me: Well, any number of things, but it's mostly caused by a part of the update not downloading correctly, so when it gets installed it creates a hole.
Customer: So now hold on... could shutting the computer down during the updates cause this corruption.
Me: It could, yes. That's why they say to not unplug your computer or shut it down while running the updates.
Customer: I see. Cause yeah, I remember that I was angry when it said it had to do updates, so I shut it down.
Me: Yep, that would cause it.
Customer: Okay, reinstall Windows...10 -
Storytime!
This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.
Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.
Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--
Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.
Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.
Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!
Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*
Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?
Customer: Yes, it has.
Me: On how many computers?
Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.
Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*
Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?
Me: *gives price*
Customer: And do you have any?
Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*
Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.
Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?
Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*
Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!
Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.
Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?
Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.
Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.
Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3
Customer: ...Okay, fine
Me: *updates the ticket*
When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."
If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.
If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?
If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.
If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.
If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.
IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.17 -
I AM NOT A RUBBER DUCK
I AM NT A RUBBER DUCK
IAM NOT A RIBBER DUCK
I AM NOT A RUBER DUCK
I AM NOT A TUBBER DUCK
I AM NOT A TRUBBER DUCK
I AM NOT A TUBBER DUCK
I AM NOT A RUBBER DUCJK
I AM NOT A RUBBER DUCK10 -
Coworker: This guy's computer is completely messed up...
Me: What? Why?
Coworker: So he installed some virus...
Me: Yeah? And...?
Coworker: And apparently it changed all certificates for antivirus programs into Untrusted Certificates - so he can't install anything that could remove the virus!
Me: That's horrifying..7 -
I work in a computer repair shop. A COMPUTER repair shop. And every day, I get asked "Do you repair phone screens?" No. No, I do not. Stop asking!11
-
Coworker: According to science, people who work with math or computers are least likely to get divorced.
Me: Well that's because they're least likely to get married.
Coworker: ...In order to participate in the study you had to be married at least once
Me: It was a joke, man!
Coworker: Well it wasn't a funny one!
Me: ...it was to me...7 -
Customer: So I have operating system corruption? What does that mean?
Me: *thinks for a moment* Okay, so you have a bag of potato chips, right? And you're looking forward to eating those potato chips. However, when you open the bag, there are only crumbs because the guy in front of you in line had accidentally stepped on the bag and crushed them all.
Customer: ...Okay...
Me: So what we can do is we can grab a can of Pringles--because Pringles are delicious--and dump those in the bag. That way you have a good, full bag of uncrushed digital potato chips.
Customer: I like that, let's do it!
Coworker: ...why are you talking about digital potato chips?8 -
Storytime!
>purchased Sublime Text a few years ago
>used it a bit, mostly on Ubuntu, but eventually fell away
>mostly because notepad++ or just not coding
2017.apng
A wild DevRant has appeared!
>see people using Sublime Text
>remember the good old days(tm)
>download Sublime Text
>search email for key
missing-key.html
>work up courage to send email to Sublime Text team
theyRespond.jar
>turns out I was looking in the wrong email address
>still sent me my old key to the email address I sent the email from
i-am-ok-with-this.svg
10/10 would purchase Sublime Text code again8 -
I've dealt with dusty computers, REALLY dusty computers, computers owned by smokers.
I've seen dead beetles and earwigs and spiders with their cobwebs in computers and dealt with them.
I've even seen live moth larvae wriggling about in a computer.
But never, have I ever had to deal with fluids. Until today.
I had to take apart a laptop that had been used as a toilet by a cat. It was still wet, but not warm.
And I had to try to get data off of it. But no, the urine was not compliant.
So, already pissed off customer was less happy about the fact that her data would still be a few days away from recovery to a new computer.
At least her frustration wasn't at us.6 -
The Linux desktop marketshare. Every year support gets better and better and soon I think it will be higher than the Mac desktop marketshare.
-
!rant
Storytime!
I'm on the phone with an elderly customer.
Customer: Yes, I just got my computer back and now it's not talking to my monitor.
Me: Okay, and the monitor cable is plugged in?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Okay, I think I remember that you had a graphics card. Do you have a horizontal blue port?
Customer: No.
Me: Okay. So let's look near the middle of your computer. Do you see a blue port?
Customer: I don't know. I know the blue monitor cable is plugged in, but I don't know what color it is.
Me: Alright, let's unplug the cable for a second.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now let's look for those two blue ports...
Customer: I only see one.
Me: And it's near the middle of the computer?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Okay, let's plug the monitor in.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now does the monitor come up with anything?
Customer: Let me get to where I can see it... No, there's nothing.
Me: Even if you wiggle the mouse a little?
Customer: What?
Me: Does the computer talk to the monitor if you move the mouse a little?
Customer: How do I do that?
Me: ...You take the mouse... and move it from side to side
Customer: Oh! I understand. Um, no. Nothing.
Me: Okay, well let's bring the computer in. I think I know what the problem is, I just need to put a piece of tape somewhere.
Customer: Oh, okay. Fine.2 -
Me: *reading work order* Customer states Mac does not have sound
*Me turns on Mac, it makes the signature "BONNNNG" sound*
Me: Uh huh...
Coworker: Rule No. 1 of tech support: The users always lie
Me: True, but still! How do you miss the start up Mac sound?!3 -
Is it weird to be one of those people who prefer to use open source software, but will use proprietary software if I have to?
Is there anyone else on devRant like this?!12 -
Customer: Do you need my computer password?
Me: Yes, I do. Why don't you write it down for me? *fills out work order form while she writes down her password*
Customer: Here you go *slides me sticky note with password on it*
Me: *usual spiel about computer repair stuff*
Customer: *leaves*
Me: *to Coworker* So this lady's password is "AmishForLife* (modified for security purposes).
Coworker: On her iPad?!
Me: And her computer, yes
Coworker: *laughs*
Me: I wonder how well that's working out for her... -
I feel dirty. I just talked someone into buying a Macbook Air.
I mean, it's a good fit for them, but I just don't feel good about it.12 -
Customer: *brings in laptop and printer* My internet has been terrible lately, so this printer hasn't been working very well as a wireless printer. Could you fix it?
Me: Well, it wouldn't help much because it would be hooked up on our network, so when you take it home it won't work on yours.
Customer: I don't understand...
Me: *thinks for a second* okay, so it's like you have two streams of water. Whatever you do in the first stream doesn't effect the second stream of water.
Customer: I still don't understand....
Me: Never mind. Just go home and give us a call. We'll be able to help you better that way.
Customer: Okay, thanks!
Coworker: You can't cross the streams, Rider!2 -
Customer wanted us to put XP on a netbook after having us look at her XP tower.
This is what we all want to say about her "new" PC
6 -
Local time: 10:45 AM
I get a call from a customer. "My computer isn't working," she says. "I can't get to Google."
"What does it say?" Ideas swirl through my mind as I ask the question. I've seen this problem before.
"'Your connection is not private,'" says she. "I just want to buy a program."
I instantly know what the problem is.
"What time does your computer say it is?" I say it calmly, almost with a knowing smile. Yes, this has to be the issue.
"Um... 1:40," she says, a drip of confusion in her voice.
"That's your problem," I say. "Just fix that and you'll be good to go."
The problem was resolved and all was good.8 -
A customer had spilled beer on his Macbook and brought it in for us to run diagnostics on.
Me: So it looks like his Mac got cultured...
Coworker: I'm not even going to respond.3 -
Customer: Do you have a 2GB RAM stick?
Me: Yes, we do. Do you know what you have and what you need?
Customer: Yes, I have a one-zero-two-four M-B stick and a two-zero-four-eight M-B stick.
Me: So... a 10-24 Meg stick and a 20-48 Meg stick
Customer: Yes.
Me: Ok.... and do you know if it's going to be DDR2 or...?
Customer: Yes, DDR2.
Me: Okay, yes, we do have some. And will you want us to install it?
Customer: No. I can install it. I've been putting computers together for 30 years, so I think I can do it.3 -
My coworker and I are both novice programmers: we both know a little about several languages.
So it's really cool when we learn something new from each other. I learned how to properly open a file in Python, and he learned that "\t" is the tab character.
It's a Win-Win for both of us!2 -
Knowing the Linux command line saved my bacon!
I was on a plane, unable to connect to wifi, and needed to take a note... while not having any note taking applications or text editing applications on my phone. but what I DID have was a terminal application.
So, I made a file in my documents folder and echoed my notes into the file! A bit longer and more complicated than it needed to be, but it worked when I needed it to!12 -
!rant
Do you folks listen to podcasts? What are your favorite ones? The ones I listen to weekly are Geekrant, Linux Gamecast Weekly, and Linux Weekly Daily Wednesdays (done by the LGC group). I'm looking for more tech related ones, though.7 -
"I'm not very smart with computers"
Why do people say that? Obviously you may not know 100% of what you can do with a computer, but NO ONE does! I get that some people know slightly more than others, but it all comes down to how much time you put into learning it!
And how do you even respond to that? "I know, I'm dumb." You can't ignore it or affirm it, you just have to awkwardly acknowledge and then change the subject. Ugh...4 -
Storytime!
I got a ticket near the end of the day, asking to install a printer on a computer. The branch in question was in a different time zone (I'm in US-Pacific [GMT-07] and the computer was in US-Eastern [GMT-04]). I figured I wouldn't worry about it; after all, I had other tickets to work on that were much higher priority.
The next day I come into work and immediately get a message from one of my East Coast coworkers, telling me that this branch is calling and asking how the printer is coming. I told him to tell them I would call them a bit later. I do a couple of easy jobs and then begrudgingly call the branch. I listen to the phone tree that they have (which requires two button presses instead of one in order to speak with someone) and finally get in contact with a person... only to have the call disconnect.
I call back and ask for the person who called in the ticket and then followed up, who had apparently gone to lunch. I informed the person that I was just going to install the printer and it would be good to go. This would be fine... up until she mentioned she needed scanning functionality.
Now I wasn't sure if the driver we have in AD is set up with the scan functionality, so I said okay, but that meant I would have to get the driver from the website. The connection to our branches are about 1Mbps, so even downloading Java updates (60-ish MB) take about 5-10 minutes on a good day. The file for this printer was about 700MB (thanks HP). So I went and did other stuff while that downloaded.
I come back after it finished and started the install process. Right away it asks to re-seat the USB cable. So I call the branch. The call disconnects. I call again. It disconnects. I call one more time, and finally get the person who called the ticket in. I instruct him to re-seat the cable. He does. The driver starts doing its thing. I tell him I'll call back if I run into any issues and we hang up.
The driver goes through the install process for about 20 minutes, stops at 99%, then fails. I want to restart the computer, just in case there's a conflict somewhere, but that would require calling the store again, so I put it off.
About an hour later I get a message from another East Coast coworker, telling me the branch is calling about the printer again. I was in the middle of another call and said I would call back later. I do. It disconnects. I call again, and get the person who called the ticket in again. I tell him I want to restart the computer, but wasn't sure if it was okay. He checks with the people using it, who says it's okay, so I reboot. I hang up.
Once the computer comes back up I start the install process again. It asks to re-seat the cable. Fuck. I don't want to call the store again, so I open notepad and say "Please take out the printer's USB connection from the back of the computer."
Three. Fucking. People. Saw it. They moved the window and one even tried to close it, but they didn't re-seat the cable. I opened another window, telling them to call me at my number. They didn't. I called them. Got disconnected. I called them again, finally got someone, told them to re-seat the printer cable again. They do, thank god.
I say thank you and hang up. Continue the installer. It stops at 99% again and fails. I reboot the computer; screw it, I'm just going to install the driver from Active Directory. Check Devices and Printers. It's installed successfully. Hallelujah!
I get the printer set up for the various programs they use and print a test page. I call them one last time; their phone system sounding like they were connected via an underwater line connected by tin cans. I get someone.
$me: Hi, I want to know if the printer has printed something.
$them (garbled): -et me shee... yesh, it -rint-d a *beezelborp*.
$me: Perfect, I'm going to close this ticket! Thanks, goodbye! *hangs up*
tl;dr - I hate printers -
One of my customers' laptop background (removed sensitive information and desktop icons).
Coworker: When you really love Chrome, but don't know what hi-res is!
8 -
There's always that great feeling of accomplishment when you finish a project.
Even if it is only 23 lines.
And FizzBuzz...
But it's in a new language and you mostly did it with your own logic!4 -
Showed my coworker this. He sat there staring in agony and groaning.
Coworker: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
Me: "Is your coworker broken? Fix them in just three easy steps!"
-
My coworker found out that Powerpoint is Turing Complete, so now he wants to write an operating system in Powerpoint. Kill me now...1
-
A customer brought in an older, beat-up machine and told us it wasn't booting. We noticed that his power supply was damaged, but checked it in for other diagnostics.
I found out he had a corrupted operating system, but with everything else on the computer, I didn't recommend fixing the computer.
Now, for reference, this is a Windows 7 computer with 10GB of RAM. But it also has a bent side-panel, the front-panel is hanging on by a thread, and it would also need the new power supply -- all of which would be over $200 USD.
When I finally relayed this info to him over the phone, we started talking about the system.
Him: So what do you think?
Me: I mean, this computer has some good specs, but with the damage, I wouldn't recommend repairing the computer. Now, this is your computer and you are more than welcome to tell me to shove it, but I'd recommend replacing it. We're at the breaking point of doing whatever you want to do, and it's your money that you're spending, but in my professional opinion, I don't think it's worth saving.
Him: Well, okay. I'll come in later and see what options I have6 -
I'm looking for a Python mentor. I need someone I can PM for clarification so I can wrap my head around things.
Is anyone up to the challenge?15 -
Good news: my company has received more calls today since I can ever remember
Bad news: It's because a telemarketing company spoofed our phone number, so it's not drumming up any business. -
!rant
Coworker: I've been working on this computer for an entire day now and it's still having issues
Boss: Well, we can give the client an option to get another SSD and clone to it before reinstalling the OS.
Coworker: But he doens't have an SSD...
Boss: Yes he does
Coworker: *opens computer* let's see, two 1TB hard drives... but no SSD... Oh, there it is. It's hidden. But it's booting too slow to be....
*epiphany*
Coworker: Oh my god. I've been telling the computer to boot to the wrong hard drive. That explains everything!1 -
I just set up SSHFS so I can play my media library on my TV without moving all my data!
Basically my setup is something like this:
*Gaming PC (with a total of 10TiB - 6TiB being used for my /home) located in my office
*Home Media PC (with total of 150GB) located in my living room
Everything I have is on my 6TB HDD, and just my Videos folder is larger than the hard drive in the Home Media PC, so I decided to set up SSHFS. After about 15 minutes of reading man pages and trying different configurations, I ended up just needing "sshfs -o nonempty -o allow_other [user]@[location]:/home/$USER/Videos /home/server/Videos/"
This is so great guys; I love Linux so much!3 -
I can't believe I've been here for a year already. Where has the time gone?
Well, here's to another year of ranting with like-minded people!1 -
I just got out of working 10 hour days and alternating Saturdays at work for the head honchos to say "Yeah, you guys have a month before you're all laid off. We're giving your job to the group that helped you during the busy season."
So guess what I get to do: job hunt!
Except no one in my area is hiring Linux System Administrators and my wife doesn't wanna move.1 -
!rant
Coworker: I yelled at Sony for the PS3 having 7 USB ports... I said that devices only need 2 USB ports. But now, I have this laptop here that has two USB ports and I'm yelling at it! So who's the hypocrite?
Me: You?
Coworker: Sony. Though to be fair, this laptop was made back before we really needed a lot of USB ports. Keyboards and mice were PS/2.
Me: What about printers?
Coworker: They have printer cables....
Me: WHICH ARE USB!
Coworker: ....Oh yeah...2 -
I just spent 45 minutes trying to make my HP printer work in Arch Linux (actually Antergos, but close enough).
Finally had enough and booted into an Ubuntu MATE LiveUSB that I had... Which saw the printer, connected to it, and printed without needing to install anything extra.
I gotta say, while not a big Ubuntu fan, I'm certainly impressed it was stupidly simple!11 -
I've been slowly but surely writing the skeleton of a game on my Github.
Now to actually learn the basics of Github so I don't have to copy and paste my code every time there's an update....6 -
I received a computer to work on for work and needed a knife to open the box. That's when my coworker pulled out this nugget of wisdom:
Coworker: My knife has a knife on it.
Me: Really?! Who would've thought?4 -
So I'm kind of a fledgling webdev. Where would I go to learn how to do backend in order to do logins, manage inventory, create posts, that kind of thing?
I know a little bit of PHP, HTML, and CSS, but only enough to make static pages... it's kind of bad...1 -
So some people will be happy, but LibreOffice 6 will introduce a MS Office 2007-like ribbon thing.
It's optional for people who prefer the old version, but it may bring more people into LO. That's cool.
source: https://wiki.documentfoundation.org/...1 -
I like wallpapers, but I hate having to download them by hand. So I made a Python script.
Now I have more wallpapers than I know what to do with!
https://gitlab.com/RiderExMachina/...11 -
$FEATURE_REQUEST
Show notifications in the favicon. There's a prebuilt js library under the MIT/GPLv2 here https://github.com/ejci/favico.js -
I really want to like Fedora, but it feels like they're trying too hard while also not trying hard enough...1
-
Dual-booted Gaming Computer: A Saga of Frustration, Alcoholism*, and Relief
So a while back my gaming computer was booting Antergos Linux and Windows 10. It took me a few months, but I finally became fed up with Windows 10's bullshit of putting ads in the OS (Suggested Apps, OneDrive, etc.) and reinstating all of their defaults after an upgrade (Edge, privacy settings, the People Button in 1709).
So, I backed up my data and installed Windows 7. Windows 7 has a bright, consistent look, and in my opinion still holds up as a good operating system.
However, I couldn't boot into Antergos after that. For whatever reason, no matter how hard I tried, I just wasn't able to. So, I decided to reinstall. Might as well, anyway.
Now, I have an nVidia card, which does not play well with the OSS drivers, so it's basically normal for me to have to unplug my card and use the on-board graphics. So I do that and boot into the LiveUSB, do the install, boot into the desktop, install the nVidia drivers package, shut down.
I reinstall the card, turn the computer on... and nothing. Just a black screen with a flashing underline. I can't even get into a TTY session.
I ended up trying a few other distributions--Gecko Linux, Arch Labs, Manjaro--but all had the same issue. I was about to give up, but decided to try Antergos one more time, but with the newest install media.
And it worked! I was so freaking happy! I can finally play my Linux games again!1 -
Right now business is kind of slow for my company, so I've been working on Documentation. It's been kind of cool to make the gitlab repo, write the Markdown documents, and then push them to the repo when finished, but it's also hard because it's only me really doing anything...
-
Update on the kid with computer parts in his hand (ref: https://devrant.com/rants/1098717)
The old man came in and bought a refurbished computer. He didn't fart, thankfully.2 -
Update on SSHFS:
I have now moved over to a Samba share that auto-mounts via fstab. It took way too goddamn long....4 -
Trying to install Linux on an HP Stream 7 has been way more difficult than it should have been, even when you take into account that it's a 32-bit processor with a 32-bit EFI!
First off, the only thing I've been able to get it to boot right of the bat is Android x86 and BlissOS... kind of. You would think that Android x86 would be perfect for a tablet, right? Nope, performance sucked sooooo bad.
After reading some forums, I was finally able to get Ubuntus to load up... with the limiting factor being no on-screen keyboard.
So... at the moment I guess I'm stuck with a useless Windows tablet, and probably will be for a long time (you know, since 32-bit architecture is being dropped)6 -
I always love trying something new, especially when it's Linux.
In this case, I'm installing Plasma Mobile on my phone to see how it handles.1 -
Thanks to a couple of 'ranters I felt confident enough to throw this together.
http://bestdistrofor.me/
Watch this space 👀19 -
Kind of dev related, during a Firefly one-shot roleplay:
GM: So you have a data chip in your pocket. Do you want to see what's on it?
Me (hesitant): ...Kinda. *wait* Okay, I put the chip into one of my computers.
GM: The data chip shows random gibberish--it's encrypted. Your engineer may know how to decrypt it.
Me: Okay. Hey, Engineer! *holds imaginary data chip out to her* Decrypt this!
Engineer: No. *pause*, *sighs* Fine. But we need to be careful.
GM: Yes, now time for technobabble...
Me: So once we decrypt this, it's probably going to look for the MAC address, so we need an air-gapped machine--a machine that's never been online before--and a TAILS LiveUSB. We'll decrypt the data chip and then destroy the computer.
GM: ...Technobabble.
Fighter: ....I actually understood that and it actually makes sense. Good job. *fist bump*1 -
I'm more of a computer person (obviously, that's why I'm here), but I'm super proud of myself that I was able to replace a belt in my car!
Next comes the brakes, but that one can wait a week or so...3 -
As a novice programmer, learning about the logging package in Python and how to utilize it is really exciting to me. It's basically what I've been working with recently (besides the script for macOS that won't fucking work).
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For whatever reason my Nvidia card is not showing my desktop after a reinstall. I've installed the drivers, ran the xconfig script, and even manually gone in there and edited things. It still won't boot.
This is why the state of Linux needs to get better.10 -
I giggle a little bit every time I see a Microsoft Employee on Social Media because it's always "Derp McDerpington [MSFT]" and I ALWAYS read the "MSFT" as "Misfit"5
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I refactored a bash script written so badly that it had fewer lines of code even after added a few new features
Link: https://github.com/dasgeekchannel/...3 -
!rant
import analogies
Customer: So I have two emails and I'd like to be able to use them.
Me: Okay, I see you have both Windows Live Mail and Thunderbird...
Customer: Yeah, Thunderbird was the old one we used, we now use the Windows Live Mail, but it's always having problems.
Me: Well, Windows Live Mail isn't supported anymore, so I would recommend moving back to Thunderbird.
Customer: But that would mean I would have to get another email, right?
Me: No... *thinks for a moment* OK, imagine you have a garden hose that is connected to the main line of your house. You with me?
Customer: I guess...
Me: So the connection from your house is your email - or at least the server out on the internet. Now on the other end you have a hose splitter, and it splits off into two other hoses. Still with me?
Customer: Yeah...
Me: So on the end of the other two hoses you have two spray nozzles; one for each hose. Now one nozzle is from company A and the other is from company B. Both nozzles share some spray types on the heads, but there are a few heads on A that B doesn't have and vice versa.
Customer: OK...
Me: Those spray heads are Windows Live Mail and Thunderbird. They receive your mail from the same place, like the water, but they have different features. Does that makes sense?
Customer: I suppose.5 -
Last night I had a dream that knowing how to use Kali Linux was one of the requirements for a job I was looking at applying for.
So I was thinking to myself "hey, I know Kali, I should put that on my resume," but I was too lazy to do it right away, and when I did try to add it, my resume wouldn't compile (LaTeX) because one of the brackets was missing, but I couldn't find where the missing bracket was.
It was weird...1 -
Had to reinstall Linux on my gaming PC today. I tried Korora (Fedora based) but failed at installing the NVIDIA drivers.
So, back to Antergos I go. It's so much easier running [sudo pacman -S nvidia] than having to blacklist nouveau... -
Me: *tinkering on a webpage that spits out random characters, motivations, themes, and genres for the purpose of short story creation*
Me: Okay, so we have a young girl, with the motivation of The Power of Friendship, the theme of Crime, with the story structure of Dan Harmon, and set in a Fantasy genre.
Coworker: Dan Harmon? Improvise. Wait... A young girl, on a Purge planet who befriends Morty... I mean a young boy from a different universe.
Me: *a minute later* Wait a second, that was an episode of Rick and Morty!!
Coworker: I did that on purpose because you said Dan Harmon.1 -
When people tell me they're computer illiterate, they either know their exact Windows version to the Service Pack and can utilize the task manager effectively or they don't know that their computer desktop is different from their browser homepage. There is no in-between.
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Setting up my HTPC allowed me to learn how to set up a nextcloud server. Time to start saying goodbye to Google!
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I need people with Macs (running macOS) to help me make sure this Python script I wrote works. I'll upload it to git{hub, lab} and link to it in the comments.4
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Coworker: I SSH into my liver every now and again. It's mostly to make sure it's kept up and running because I've blocked all the other ports to it. Once my kidneys can' handle the alcohol and energy drinks I'll start enabling cookies on it to help filter out that traffic.
Weird conversations with my coworker -
I have a customer who has to look up why Operating System corruption happens on computers before he gives us the ok to reinstall Windows on his computer.
FML....6 -
So I'm looking at different fonts because I enjoy getting new fonts to try out that look nice... and I'm taken to this site: http://velvetyne.fr/
And while their fonts are nice, their layout is most certainly a disaster. Holy crap, I feel so claustrophobic going to that site...1 -
Well fuck...
Korora 26 finally came out and I wanted to install it on my new laptop. I'd previously put Ubuntu MATE on there, with Cinnamon kind of tacked on, but it wasn't great, mostly because it wasn't Korora.
Unfortunately, Korora (and Fedora) still have a bug in the installer where it will complain if your /boot/efi partition is not on /dev/sda, which in my case it was on my M.2 drive. However, I was able to eventually get it working.
But when I booted it up and tried to log in, it would take me back to the log in screen. I logged into a TTY, where I was reminded that when I had set up my Ubuntu install, I had chosen to encrypt the home folder.
Not knowing how to set up the eCryptFS with an existing encrypted home folder setup, I opted to wipe the drive and reinstall from scratch--I had a backup of most of my files from the Ubuntu installation. However, I lost some very important documents that I'd set up since then.
Fast forward to today where my laptop won't boot unless it is either a.) unplugged with just the battery or b.) plugged in without the battery, with a different power cable from the one I got with the computer.
Thankfully the people responded quickly after I mentioned I was having issues. Hopefully it doesn't get worse... -
!rant
Coworker: *Watching a DefCon talk*
Me: *walks over and notices an image on the slide of a woman sticking a cotton swab in her mouth with text saying "get paternity testing"*
Me: Paternity testing? But that's a woman!
Coworker: *silent for a second* What? Oh! *gets closer to screen, chuckles*
Coworker: It actually took me a second to catch that because I wasn't looking at the video, I was looking at the side "related videos" or the ad and I was like "no... did you mean Penetration Testing?" But even then, this is DefCon, so there aren't any women--or at least less than 3. And then I saw it in the corner and was like "Oh, I see it. But yeah, Paternity.... Oh wait..."
Me: Jeez, it really did take you a while...
Coworker: Yeah. All the while I was thinking "What the heck are you on," and then there was the "Oh, I get it" moment
Me: At least you got there -
Experience with Plasma Mobile:
After an hour of confusion and bash file trolling (as in scrolling through a bash file, not trolling someone with a script), I ended up needing to reinstall Lineage OS on my phone.
While it's a new and seemingly exciting expanse for modern Linux and Android phones, it's very obviously not ready yet.
Even after fixing some bugs within the bash file, my phone seemed to have a mind of its own; prematurely attempting to boot into the OS during a critical part of the setup. Even after finishing the setup correctly, my phone never actually boots into the system.
While I like the concept behind Plasma Mobile, it does still have a ways to go. But I have some hopes that the project will start getting bigger and better as the time goes on.1 -
Out of the Operating Systems, I think Windows has the best file moving system.
Yes, you're unable to transfer files if they're currently in use, but you can start new file moving jobs in the middle of a current file moving process, and as of Windows 7, files that are unable to be moved for whatever reason don't cancel out the entire move.
Linux is next best because files will move regardless of if they're in use or not, and a file that is unable to be moved for whatever reason also won't cancel the entire move. However, if a new file move process is started, it will pause until the current move job is completed, which is a pain if moving a lot of large files.
Mac is the worst. One failed move results in cancelling the entire process. If a file will be duplicated or is unable to be moved, if you cancel that specific move, you have to start it all over again. No way to cancel or skip, just start it all over.4 -
#Bug, I think
This is the second month in a row in which money has been taken from me to go towards the amazingness that is devRant, however, I do not have the cool [++] badge next to my name...
Not like that's the only reason I'm giving money, but it's a nice perk!!5 -
Customer (to me): I was talking to [my coworker] and he said to [generic fix]. I just wanted to let him know it worked!
Me: I'm glad to hear that--I'll be sure to let him know!
Customer: Thanks!
Me (to coworker): That person said your fix worked.
Him (an atheist): Thank Jesus... thank Zombie Jesus!
Me: More like "thank Barry Benson."
Coworker: Who is Barry Benson?
Me: *Googles Barry Benson to show him*
We both cracked up for like a full minute. -
So I'm at my work computer, logged into my laptop two feet away using No Machine, trying to access my home computer using Teamviewer. Where will it end?!
The reason I can't just go from my work machine to my home machine is because we use an older version of Teamviewer than what I have installed at home - just thought I'd clarify before someone asked.3 -
Experience with Plasma Mobile, part 2.
I was able to clone the official master repository and commit my hacks to it, but when I sent the pull request, the current active maintainer said that the master branch was actually severely out of date and to try the "halium-flash" branch.
So I did. I checked out the "halium-flash" branch and attempted to install Plasma Mobile. The bash file used to flash the phone still needed to be hacked around, though my previous commit was made irrelevant by the change. However, I did get it working on my phone.
So, here are my thoughts: It's most definitely not ready. The lock screen looks pretty and is well put together, and the "desktop" and icons for applications look very nice.
However, my phone does not have a physical "home" button, and Plasma Mobile to date does not have a digital "home" button. So, in order to close an application I have to literally reboot my phone.
As of yet there seems to not be any tactile feedback or visual feedback, which is odd when typing in the passcode to log into Plasma Mobile or trying to open an application.
Firefox crashes if you try to open it, and currently there are two choices of wallpaper. I haven't tried calling someone, but I'm fairly certain that Plasma Mobile does not support telephony on my phone type.
So, my verdict is still the same: I have great hopes for the Plasma Mobile project, but unless you are a developer who is interested in making it a better product, I would stay away for now.6 -
#WhatIf
Imagine you own the startup that becomes the next Red Hat--you're using Linux and open source technologies and selling support. Your company ends up being the most influential force on the Linux community.
What is the first command you make for Linux/open source technologies?6 -
!Rant
I'm helping a customer who calls in all the time for support. At the end of a call this exchange happens.
Customer: So I have this game...
*Points at a solitaire icon on his desktop*
Customer: If we open that up, there's this little thing here...
*Game opens and there's an ad in the bottom right corner*
Customer: Can you get rid of that?
Me: I can't, not in applications like this. This is the free version of the software and add are how they make their money. If you did want to play without ads, Microsoft has the Solitaire Collection for free
*Makes shortcut to Solitaire Collection on desktop*
Me: There you go -
I just had a customer who wanted the internet to be free. He didn't see why he needed to pay a company in order to get his internet...
Kill me now... -
I gave computer tech support to a tech support person.
I don't know how I feel about this...
Like, Yo dawg, I heard you like tech support, so I gave tech support to tech support. -
Just turned on a client's computer and am shocked that they keep their logins straight. Basically there are two logins, but one says "$USER1's Girl" and the other says "$USER2's Man."
If I were them, I would be clicking on the one with my name, not looking for my SO's name...3 -
Is anyone else excited about Mycroft and the Mycroft Mark II? If I had any disposable income, I'd throw money at their Kickstarter cause it looks very promising.1
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Last week I would have said https://bestdistrofor.me, but it's actually coming together.
So I guess I would have to say a city management game I was going to make called Head Honcho. It was basically just going to be if the end of GTA V was an idle game.
...but preferably without getting too scummy -
I've spent probably 2-3 hours working on this MAC Address lookup script.
Only 100 lines and I think it's decently documented.
https://repl.it/@RiderExMachina/...
Of course, I made a really quick version in Batch within 5 minutes that works decently well, but I'm more proud of this version... -
My top goal is work more on my project https://github.com/RiderExMachina/... and get it up and going.
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Does anyone know of good hardware testing tools on Linux? I'm wanting to put together a LiveUSB for computer testing purposes for my work.5
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Update on the HP Stream tablet:
I finally realized that I could have a microSD card in the device with the Onboard package on it to install on a LiveUSB in order to install anything.
Due to another 'ranter's suggestion, I started with all the Debian spins, but none of them had a graphical .deb package installer (which is really strange).
I finally went back to Ubuntu MATE, which does have the Onboard application already installed (which I'm not sure why I didn't notice that the first time), and it's now officially installing...
More updates at 11. -
What would be the best way to basically make a "visual poll" that takes clicks from users and calculates a "final score" for a website.
I've never really done something like this before...4 -
>opens up one of my four editors
>opens up with the barebones of a project
>no identifying information, just the start of a project
>file name is generic
What the hell was I even doing?!1
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