When you don't have money to pay a designer so you decide to do it by yourself.

It's my first try...

- Girl: I don't understand how some people can be so foolish and decide to study computer science.

- Me: Hm, true. So what did you study?

- Girl: Tourism and sports science. And you?

- Me: Nothing. I'm a truck driver.

During a meeting with customer I explained him two different options we could realise for his requirement.

Customer: "That sounds good! Do it!"
Me: "Well, you have to decide which option you want to be realised."
Customer: "Yes!"
Me: "You need some time to decide that?"
Customer: "No!"
Me: "So Option A or B"
Customer: "Yes!"

When you decide to TeamView yourself

I fucking hate people,

I provide a free service for people, and some decide it is a great idea to abuse the shit out of it.
Fuck you

When you decide to use a model for an engineering picture this is what happens. (Look at her hand)

Manager: I just think you are being too negative. Like sometimes other people have opinions too and we should hear them out before saying no.

Me: Well your opinion is the devs shouldn't be able to estimate their own tasks and you should decide on our behalf how long something should take.

You also want to decide what tech stack we use, because you followed a "Hello World" tutorial last night and it worked out for you.

Just because you got a simple webpage up and running in 2 hours doesn't mean all websites take 2 hours with the tech. Were not sitting in the corner laughing that you think its taking us 3 weeks to build this.

I'm not being negative simply because I don't agree with you. I'm not being unreasonable if I say I can do 6 weeks work in 2 weeks. And although it sounds offensive, i'm actually doing you a favour by telling you to get your head out of your ass

Typical situation when ur laptop feels laggy and you decide to close chrome.

Dear clients.

Putting your support subject or content either in uppercase letters or telling US that your matter/ticket has 'the utmost priority' doesn't mean anything to us. You'll just have to keep in line.

WE decide the priorities. Also, calling us when we haven't looked into your very fucking high priority ticket yet for about 5 FUCKING minutes is NOT going to help YOU.

- One of the Linux Support Engineers.

Mmmokeeey... Can you please decide which one is the problem now?!

Please for the love of god name your variables in a sensible way! How the FUCK am I supposed to read your shitcode if you decide to write 6 (!!!) nested loops with variables each named by exactly one character. With no comments whatsoever!

I would rather crack password hashes than this nonsense.

When you decide to update the framework during development

Fuck the imperial system. For centuries everyone used meters and kilograms to measure shit so why the FUCK did the U.S decide to use pounds and inches. Like i see most articles and videos comfortably using the metric system, EVERYTHING uses the metric system. then i stumble on an idiot who makes me go to a converter so I can understand his pound-inch-based lingo. FUCK YOU

That moment your javascript has a bug but its a cool one so you decide to leave it and call it a "new feature"

When you over-engineer so much your error throwing library that it ends up as an OS and you decide to call it Windows.

When you decide to clean your PC for the first time in years.

I quit my job today, after 2 years as a developer. I can't remember the last time I felt so peaceful. I've yet to decide what I'll do instead. Wish you all the best, adios!

When you have one problem and you decide to use regular expressions...

You need to know this: you have two problems now.

TLDR: Fuck you, Client A

1. Want to change the business flow during UAT and decide the deadline to be less than 4 weeks, even though that's how the business flow stated on the docs
2. He threatening us not to pay if it isn't done, even though he's not the one paying us
3. He said time isn't a problem because he can provide a table and chair that is put in front of his table

Fuck you, Client A

When you introduce your girlfriend to your Best friend and after some time they start dating each other and you are unaware of the situation but after sometime you get to know about their relationship , now you're really pissed and want to take revenge, then you remember that the girl's parents are strict af and you know that they won't tolerate that their daughter is in relationship
so, you tell her parents about her and
they decide to send her to a different school located in another city
The End

tl;dr
When two pointers are pointing to a same memory location then if any one of them deallocates the memory, the other pointer becomes a dangling pointer
:v

Decide to open torrent web site from your smartphone.

*popup: your phone is hacked, click here to scan
*popup: you are the 1000th visitor, you win a gift
*popup: see hot pictures
*popup: Hello [somebrand] phone user, click here for tips.

Shit, why I came here in the first place??

You write code.
A strange issue prevents you to proceed further.
Try one fix. Fails.
Try another Fix. Fails.
...
Try fix #28. Fails.
You decide to ask for help in the support forum.
You start writing your post, mentioning everything you've tried so far. You feel your social anxiety and fear the humiliation of being told "because you didn't try X, you idiot". Then you come up with an idea for fix #29.
(fix #29 normally involves Wireshark or similar low-level inspection tool)

Try fix #29. It succeeds :)

My colleague wanted me to examine a script issue. I open it up, and it took several minutes to comprehend how it worked. Once it finally clicked:

Me: I can’t decide if this is idiotic or genius.
Colleague: Well, YOU wrote it.
Me: Oh… Genius it is, then!

Hi

Aaand, I can't even post a rant with so little chars... Yet coworkers and customers find it ok to only write hi and wait for me to respond.. Just write what the fuck you want in one go so I can decide if I really need to jump, or I can get back to this later..

A female boss I worked for, pulled an employee retention tactic that still gives me the chills.

She paid dogshit salaries to all her employees. And yelled at them enough to keep them overworked and burnt out.

When one of them tried to resign, she said "fine you can leave us but I won't be giving you any salary slips, no experience/recommendation letter and neither acknowledge that you ever worked here.
You get to leave the company when I decide for you.
You have already stayed here so long that if you decide to disappear tomorrow it will leave a gap on your resume in your next interview."

That horrible moment when you decide to continue working on a task at home, only to find out you didn't commit your changes in work. Fuck.

Should you use webpack in your next front end application? Well heres one question to ask yourself to help you decide:

While developing your application, do you feel your application could benefit from the introduction of 14,372 impossible to understand errors, each requiring hours of research to debug ...

you do? well boy are you in luck!

I found an interesting job post on SO, I decide to apply. It comes with a programming test. A simple unit test that must pass (see current-1 post). I get it passing, go to send off my resume and code and the fucking email they supplied isn't valid or active. Fuck you. Eat dicks. Useless fucking HR.

When you have to do some live coding in front of highly technical people during a presentation, and the coding Gods decide to take away all your typing skills.

Anyone ever entered a password and it keeps saying wrong password, so you decide to reset the fucking password and now the problem is ....the systems/website tells you that you can't reset the password to your current password or a password you are already using... like okay what the fuck!!!!!.....

1. Decide to learn optimisation algorithms
2. Realise that you have forgotten calculus
3. Decide to learn from the beginning
4. Search for tutorials
5. Go through the introduction parts
6. You know that you can't complete
7. You watch other entertainment things on YouTube.

Stories of a lazy programmer...

Always remeber:
The interview goes both ways. Ask the interviewer how he likes to solve problems, and how he works with ppl. This will give you the information to decide if you want to work with him or the company.
This is especially effective on HR: ask about thier corporate culture and how they deal with promotions/good people and how they deal with bad people.
And make sure you visit glassdoor.com before the interviews begin.

This is what happens when you decide to send error messages as url value

I'm speechless :\

that feeling when you code from 11 pm to 2 am to solve a problem and then decide to google it and see that you could solve it in 2 min or less

Biggest distraction while coding?

When a colleague (or even worst, your boss) decide to staring at your monitor...

WTF
I don't know you guys, but I suddenly become disable and not capable of using a keyboard.
Leave me f*king alone!!!

Is it normal for a dad to jump into his son's decisions?
Recently he accepted a job offer that was directed to me. I got mad and asked why on earth he would do that.
He provocatively answered "Who are you to make this decision? I'm allowed to decide over you! Don't be so disrespectful towards your dad!".
If he was not my dad, I would have beaten the shit out of him.
PS: I'm still in college that's why I can't leave atm.

Boss: "is it done yet?"

Me: "I've been telling everyone we have a problem and I need all hands on deck. I've already analyzed the issue and explained it to you and the options but YOU PEOPLE NEED TO DECIDE or I decide and probably break things along the way..."

Why does everyone ignore me when I need help but are ok asking me when they need help?

/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻

Client be like :

I want this feature to be added

No I don't,
No I want,
No I don't,
let me fuck you up then I will decide.

LEARN. TO. GOOGLE. YOUR. PROBLEMS. BEFORE. YOU. DECIDE. TO. PING. ME !!!!

Can't decide if I should buy a Macbook Pro or a fucking car. Both would improve my productivity in different ways. What do you suggest?

When you constantly make poor decisions and get backlash from your community so you decide to deliberately hide the main way normal users see news. Butthurt much, ShitOverflow?

Dear fellow mate,

I can't reject your request to leave. You have your right to request casual/medical or any suitable form of leave. It's up to the HR to do their calculation and process your leaves.

All I can do is tell you the overview of our team's tasks status. And status of tasks assigned to you. Then tasks status of possible colleagues who can cover your position.

The reason I shared those with you is that you act like you have no knowledge about them.

That's all I have for you. Decide on your own what to do. But consider with this new information.

Regards,
Cursee

If you decide to use Plesk or cPanel (cancerPanel) I wont help you

B - Ok guys, here we are to decide who's gonna do what.
What part of the app needs to be developed
P1 - The UX
P2 - The Statistics
P3 - The calls to the server
Me - The flow of work

B - Uhm, right, well scratch that, I'm gonna need you to make a website for a costumer.

Me - But this app is due to the next two weeks!!

B - I'm sure you'll manage.

I’m sick of these kinds of error messages. “Could not be downloaded at this time.” Ok...but why? Are the stars out of alignment? Did the CEO of the company decide that every other Tuesday at noon, you can’t download this app?

How hard is it to give a reason in the error message??

When it's 10pm and you decide to install Arch Linux.

Suddenly, it's 6AM and you still don't have it working correctly...

When you can't decide between lisp and python:

(print("Hello world!"))

When you haven't touched a project in a month and you decide you need to get back into it.

I have pages of dated notes, pseudo-code and function in the still need written. I have about 75% of the actual code up and functional, but I have no idea what I was working on when other things got in the way. I've been staring at this mess that I swear was once organized and made total sense and I'm completely lost.

Why do our brains do this!!

THis one goes out to the fucktards that decide to fucking change things on api systems to meet new business requirements and fail to fucking scope out the change requirements of dependent systems that YOU are FUCKING UPDATING via THIS FUCKINg API!
You fucking morons!

At least have the fucking decency or balls to walk 10 fucking metres from your stupid ass chair or send a fucking email about the changes rather then me finding out you fucktards change things through an end customer who want to know where there order is!!! FUCK!

Relationships and gaming on Linux have a lot in common. When it works, it's glorious, though it has its quirks. When it doesn't... You let it drive you mad until you decide that the compatibility issues just aren't worth the effort anymore.

I hate it when marketing people decide they're technical - quote from a conference talk I regrettably sat through:

"The fourth industrial revolution is here, and you need to make sure you invest in every aspect of it - otherwise you'll be left in the dust by companies that are adopting big data, blockchain, quantum computing, nanotech, 3D printing and the internet of things."

Dahhhhhhhhhh

I hate it when you are enrolled in a college for a cse degree but they decide to teach you quantum mechanics and environmental sciences cause you never know, may need them someday. However in the name of cse they teach you what was magnetic optical drive and about mice and printers cause as a cse student you should know how the mouse, the keyboard, printers work. How is electricity that powers your tools is generated? How much energy is generated or required to display the colour on you monitor? And programming, well thats what the company train you in after recruitment!!

When your internet doesn't work for 2 hours and you decide to create a stupid script to check the extension of each files and it works at the first try... WTF is happening?

When you decide to cover for a co-worker and end up having to face a disciplinary meeting ...

Q: What's a "muscle memory"?

A: It's when you open up devRant, skim through several posts, get bored, decide to visit some other website for more stimulation, close the tab with devRant, open a new tab and your hands type in devrant.com [ENTER] before you know it

You give up romancing for some time because you're tired of getting mixed signals all the time. Decide to focus on programming instead and then shit like this happens:

Linux is an amazing, stable operating system.

Until you decide to upgrade it, then you realise the update failed, your DE is broken and after using Timeshift to restore the system, your GRUB decided to commit seppuku.

My boss is the head of IT.
I am the head of software, I have nothing todo with user rights in our software, this is head of IT things...

So my boss is gone, holiday.

User T calls in: Hey, I need rights for finance software X. Now.
Me: Yeah, my boss is gone for good, which rights exactly you need?
T: I don't know. Give me admin rights.
Me: I am not going to do that.
T: I will call my boss (head of her department, same level as my boss). He will tell you to do that.
Me: I will not listen to him, he don't decide about rights. IF you talk to the head of finance and he tells me you can have admin rights in the finance software, I could give it to you. Let him write a email to me about it.
T: Okay.

2 Minutes later.

Email, Head of finance: Hey Wasseratem, I don't decide for rights for the finance software X, normaly Head of IT does that.
(CC to T)
Email back: Yeah, he is gone, he will be back in 2 days, then he can decide.

Email from Head of Department of T: Give T admin rights. now.
Email back, CC Head of Department of T, Head of finance: No I will not do that (etc. explain why)

What the fck is T joking me?

Now She will not get any rights for thursday even when she will walk into my office with a gun.

"new features" - new spywares?
"You decide" - Yeah right.
"could take a little longer." - I KNOW THAT!

I didn't... Some of y'all might argue I'm not even a proper dev.. and I'd agree..
I'm fixing bugz & implementing a thing or two.. but all within how project was done.. you give me a blank project, I'd probably spend days reading up on how to do it properly and still couldn't decide what sounds good to me.

you got a problem

you decide to use multithreads

two problems now you have!

That moment when, after having Spotify crash on you several times during the day, you decide to attach a debugger to the fucker in case it decides to do it again...

That moment you receive your salary but decide to hold off paying your dues for a few hours just to take a break from being poor 🙄

I like like my boss and my coworkers and the place I work but for the love of goat cheese this org has the attention span of a toddler on meth.

Seriously, it's like this is your #1 priority, next week, wait we have a different emergency you have a new super critical urgent thing, then "hey team Y has a vendor coming in next month to integrate these two pieces and they need you to have half of it wired up by then so make sure you get that done." Like SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY

HERE"S SOME LIFE ADVICE IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU PLAN OR SCHEDULE OR PRIORITIZE IF YOU END UP CHANGING ALL OF IT EVERY WEEK!

It's like painting a mural of a field, and then 10 minutes in you decide you'd rather paint a space ship, then you realize you don't like the space ship so instead you decide to change your painting to Elvis with a mullet, and you keep doing this. The end result is not beauty it's the mad deranged scribbles of a man past the point of sanity.

But for the love of Haliburton if they ask me why X or Y wasn't done I'll probably end up going full BOFH on somebody.

In a world of password managers that can generate complex passwords of any length, please for the love of God include why my chosen password was rejected.

Don't decide to truncate the password without informing the user because, and this is key, they won't be able to use your service.
Looking at you GoDaddy.

This is what happens when you decide to trust your clients’ intuitiveness

That moment that you finally decide to buy some bitcoin, purchase it, want to transfer.... aaaaaaand some random error shows up on your web wallet.

Fucking. Great.

Reading a Ray Wenderlich book to try give RxSwift a go. Book is well written and going well. But I’m grinding my teeth at the fact all the code samples use 2 space indentation. Despite the fact apples standard is 4 ... and you know tabs would let us decide.

I know it’s a small thing, but it’s really pissing me off

Fffuuuck you Nvidia, you worthless piece of shit company. There's a part of the world that doesn't use Windows. Grow the fuck up. Torvalds gesture makes complete sense when you get a new kickass laptop, load kickass fedora 25, but are unable to tap into it's graphic potential. You spend 2 days trying to install the fucking driver. The next day you decide to follow one blogpost instead of 2 and You're forced to reinstall fedora and the cycle repeats. The past 4 days have been painfully unproductive.

If you could randomly decide that a specific software platform (like an entire OS) will not exist tomorrow, what would it be? And why iOS?

It kills me that a lot of people on here choose Linux distros based solely on desktop environments. Its Linux guys, you can make it whatever you want. You should decide between distros because of package managers or frequent updates or active communities, not because of how pretty it is out of the box. You can make it as pretty as you want.

That moment when you decide to look why Vim's regex rules are a bit inconsistent and find out this program has a setting called "very magic".

Today is a good day.

When you decide to refactor 5 months of work in one weekend to leverage a new technology

Youtube, I don't live in Slovenia. I'm nowhere near Slovenia. I don't know slovenian nor have I ever had anything to do with the country or the language.

Why the fuck did you decide to show me only slovenian ads for the last weeks?

Swift changes syntax again! Apple is treating their language like an Apple product. Why can't they decide? What's that? you have a project? Goodluck converting your code when we decide to change everything ;)

Have you ever been at at that magical point where you have to decide if it's worth putting the effort in to understand the legacy code, or just delete it all and start again?

Why is it so fucking hard for people to follow basic rules? FFS you're supposed to stay at home to limit contact between people, that doesn't mean you can play volleyball with your friends or go to the local park! And if you decide to go hiking, choose a place where you'll be alone, not the most popular trails around the city! You're the fucking reason government needs to make new quarantine regulations every day, not this virus, and you deserve no help if you catch it! Fuck you!

Worst part of being a dev,

When you find a problem that is very similar to the one you have on stackoverflow, but it's slightly different and the solution doesn't work for you.
So then you ask your specific question and you immediately get some downvotes and comments referring to that solution that didn't work.

And then after weighing all the options, you decide to rewrite the whole program or script or whatever.

Dear PyCharm,
When you decide to change the default templating language from Django to Jinja2, please tell me.
You owe me for psychiatrist bills

Hey Spectrum! It'd be pretty wicked if you could email me or shoot me a text the next time you decide to do maintenance that will result in service outages!

It's not that hard to shoot a text that says "Hey Stuxnet! We gonna be doing some maintenance, so ya internet's probably gonna be down for a bit. We'll get that shit up and running asap tho my man."

* You can barely keep your eyes open
* Reading rants becomes impossible
* You decide to go to sleep

Brain uses overload

* You mind is flooded with creativity
* You don't feel tired anymore
* Your phone is suddenly back in your hand

"Brain, why did you so that?"
Brain: "Because fuck you I guess. I wanna read more rants!"

When you are done with classic variable names and decide to get creative. F#ed up names.

when you go check your phone for the weather forecast to decide what to wear but get sidetracked by devrant, so you go back to try again, but get sidetracked again

Legacy code is like overgrown bangs 😋 It's very hard to decide if you have to let it grow out or trim it.

when your devrant stickers show up, but you can't decide where to put them.... and your SO keeps trying to steal them

if you're reading this, go post joey's code yourself

Her: How do you make an app?
Me: Well, first you have to decide what language you want to use as the basis for coding it, or what system you want to start on ex: ios/Android
Her: What

Hey you!

Yes you!

You think you can finish those 3 tasks this evening?

WELL PREPARE TO BE STUCK FOREVER AT TASK 1 BECAUSE OF A FUCKING STUPID BUG THAT YOU COULD'VE FOUND IN 2 MINUTES HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR YOUR DROWSINESS

And obviously after doing that you don't have any energy for task 2 and 3, so you decide to do that in the train ride over

Here's something not quite a rant, but relatable. And an issue. For me at least.

------

You get really proficient with a set of tools.
- Can solve things in an efficient & elegant manor.
But it's now boring.

You find some new exciting stack, research like a madman. Possessed.
Your perfectionist self, seldom doesn't want to settle.
You burn out from pressure & deadlines.
You feel inadequate, imposter syndrome settles in.

You reminisce of the easy days when you (thought) knew everything.

Decide to rebuild using that past stack.

Gets bored.

You notice something new & exciting.. loop iterates to next repetition.

Imagine being a software engineer:
You invent a new CMS called "WordPress"
and you decide to store all internal links as complete URLs in the fucking database.
PEAK BRAIN USAGE

Random rant: You should always look for a new job, even after landing a good(seemingly) one. It keeps you on edge and synchronized with the market.

Employers also should not shun people who are looking for new job, if they somehow find out. A developer who looks for a job, gets offer but decide to stay is better than who lost his/her/xir fire.

That bad feeling when you leave a project aside for a few weeks and then when you finally decide to continue it you don't understand the code you wrote...
I'm searching a solution for something I already solved once again. FUCK!

I'm studying Computer Science and Engineering in Uni.

People don't understand the most fundamental principles of programming at all. Variables and functions are like a foreign language to them.

I get that not everyone knows everything but if you decide to go to uni to study programming, and you have never programmed before. Are you really in the right place?

*opens the code of an old project still running today*
*see the horror spaghetti code*
*decide to modernize it with good code and practices learned by the years*
*can fucking decide where to start *
*réalise it is impossible *
*rewrite it from scratch in a few hours*
*be proud*

It's really rewarding to go back to old projects and give them a good hug. You réalise then you really got better

Yes, thank you motherfucker. Please change the fucking specification again one fucking day before the deadline.

These project managers and clients are like little children who can't decide whether they want a lego set or a video game for christmas except little children don't blame santa for their own stupidity.

Guess what? I'm not santa fucking claus and can't do miracles in one day. It's on you little project manager children if we miss this deadline.

My gods, fuck WordPress in the backend!
Why did my company decide on writing a data collection api with many dynamic pages on top of WordPress. It's a blog, not a wonder tool you dumbwits.
Never have I had more fuck this moments per hour..

what is the purpose of a degree?

what value does it convey?

isnt it better if you just show all the work and projects youve done on github as proof of what kind of knowledge do you actually have? plus where you worked before on linkedin? thats not enough, right? a paper needs to decide how much knowledge you have? is that it?

You have 2 options:

a) Work together with a "C player" (low skills/ talents)

b) Work alone

How would you decide and why?

After struggling with some bugs for the final hours of your day, when you are laying in bed, it hits you right as you are falling asleep just to make you excited about the solution. So you can't sleep anymore and decide to start coding again in the middle of the night. Oh wel...

When you send an email to yourself and Google decide to troll me with their "Magic sauce"

This is the real times. This is not that it's happening right now, this is pretty regular. Lesson? Rethink before you decide the variable type

should I get into front end or back end development?

having a bit of experience in both I can't decide on what to focus or where to stay. throw some impressions or JS frameworks on me. Tell me what you love or hate. I don't know.

help?

When your non-dev gf gets angry on you for not responding to her texts through out the night but you decide to stay quiet because she would never understand that you were trying to fix the code.

Hi everyone here's a question which has caused many arguments in my lurking spots on discord.

What is the worst type of bug? (logic, type, syntax, etc)
//you decide what "worst" means

Fucking android framework. Sucks my huge ass balls. What is wrong with the people that wrote this?
You implement a fba and hide it when the recyclerview in the corresponding is scrolled down.
Then you change to API level 25 and they fucking decide it would be a good idea to refuse to send the onNestedScroll when the visibility for a fba is set to GONE which is itself not bad, but they also think setting the visibility for the fba when you call the hide() method to... yea you guessed it FUCKING GONE would be an amazing decision. Oh yea you smart ass nice decision I'm so glad you did it.

The moment a client tells you to decide what they should pay and there is no deadline. I am amazed, really.

You know when you decide to choose a language/framework/platform not because it's the best for the job, or the one with most developers, or the one with most job offers, but simply... because it makes you feel good, even just by looking at the code...!

Gifts from company
Why are you sending me something which I don't want? Isn't the concept of gifting is to give something which the receiver can utilize. Just send me the bonus and let me decide what I want for myself. I don't want expensive chocolates and cookies with unconventional jars. I want a nice a pair of headphones or maybe a smartwatch. The price is the same as what you are sending me, so please stop this.

dont you just hate it when u want to hire devs but they ask for too much money so you decide to hire interns with experience ?

i became what i always despised

If you work on a tool alone: Front-end first or back-end first? Because I can't decide.

When you decide to take a brake from coding and open reddit to laugh a little, then suddenly your adderall kicks in along with your 3rd cup of coffee and then realize 4 hours have gone by and you have not done shit but laugh at memes.... 🤦🏼‍♀️

!rant

Just ordered my new notebook :)

Now I have one week left to decide which distro I should install

I know that there are plenty of linux users here so please: comment your favourite one with some reasons why you like it so much :)

Why the fuck would you decide to make it virtually impossible to just deactivate Windows Defender in 20H2? This is so incredibly stupid!

Agree or disagree: as a developer guaranteeing your work, when you accept a deposit from a client as a milestone payment, you should not spend that money until the client signs off on the milestone in case they decide your work is unsatisfactory and want to go elsewhere.

If you ever decide to become a manager, I hope every time you sit down, your chair makes a farting sound, but just once, so you can’t repeat it to demonstrate that it was in fact your chair and not yourself.

You're asked if you know how to use git, you say you can but you can't.
You decide to change your entire codebase because you realized your previous approach was a bad idea.
You ask how to change the old repository-content for the new project, you receive answer but you can't get it to work, you don't ask again for help.
What's the logical consequence? Create a public GitHub-Project and dump the entire customer-project under NDA into it -.-*

If you start coding in Python3, don't use both tabs and spaces. Just decide for one. It'll save you a good amount of time on bigger projects 😉

When it's 1AM and you decide to try and write a database from scratch....

When you decide it's not worth of your time to go through lengthy code documentation and just run that stackoverflow snippet straight on production.. 🤠

You ever dig a hole?

You ever realize that you are digging yourself into a hole?

You ever look at the hole and decide to keep digging because you think digging more will help?

When you start a website get the domain setup and to save money decide against using the domain privacy. Than you get 12 calls the next day from India. Or web "development companies."

Started with some inspiration for making a 2d MMORPG.
These are how i make the world generator:
Decide you want to generate paths/roads.
Realize you need pathfinding function.
Realize you totally forgot how astar pathfinding works.
Search for implementation.
End up getting bored and implement other cool feature instead.
I literally made a bunch of stuff before writing a 20 or so lines long astar cause its boring.

Good recruiters do not ask who are the other companies or recruiters who contacted you.

Good recruiters understand that potential applicants have greater needs than purely monetary compensation in their offers.

Good recruiters do not threaten you with a hard deadline to decide whether or not you'll accept their offer.

Good recruiters do not ask for referrals if you turn them down.

I've yet to meet a good recruiter.

When you're working on a project and and face a task you solved like 1000 times before so you decide to bring some fresh wind and implement a fancy design pattern... and it works with the first compile!! *badass meme* ( someone send me one I dont have)

You know when you have a project and everything is fine. Then everything turns into this big mess that you have no idea what does. And then you don't even know how to continue on the project so you decide to just start from scratch after working on it for a year?

Well that happened today.

Your life is a line. You don’t decide how long it is, but only you decide how wide it is.

Dear Client,

If you could go ahead and decide your product pricing instead of having me publish the wrong pricing and get all your customers excited only for them to see you double the price later? That'd be greeeeaaaat. M'kay?

P.S. I make money when you make money. You're gonna lose money now. Lots of it.

When you decide to create a startup and then look for someone on freelancer.com to create your Million Dollar product with a budget of 750-1500

>Be a dedicated server owner
>Fuck up and have an issue you do not know how to solve
>Ask us for help

Huh... Okay, fine
>Machine has apt repos from 4 different system releases

>Nope.elf

Some folk should never decide to admin a machine on their own :|

When you've got shit to complete and decide to work hard but your computer thinks Nope and starts trolling you

From my experience you can't really avoid bad companies with 100% success ratio. You can pay attention to the surroundings during an interview, you can research the company online, but in the end whether the company is good or bad is a purely subjective feeling. I think the most important thing is to make sure you don't get too attached to the company either emotionally or legally, so you can just gtfo when you decide it's not right for you.

I got a question at an interview today asking what type of developer do you want to be and what's your long term technical goal. Right now I'm a senior software engineer at a pretty well known solid mid sized tech company. I work across the stack but I really don't know what type of developer I want to be.

Which way technically are you directing your engineering career? How and why did you decide this is the type of work you want to do?

This is really sucks 😠😠😡 and you know you cant extend your f......ing storage cause they decide who want more storage.

That moment when you finally decide to close devRant ... but before the closing-animation even fully stopped some kind of reflex moves your finger and opens devRant again.

When you dual boot ubuntu and windows, then decide to remove Ubuntu because,who ate you kidding, you're not actually using it, then you get bored and want to try the new Linux distro that branched off from arch and vms at the same time so now you're experiencing the wonders of chakra on oracle virtual box....🤔

!Rant

When you can't decide on a font

I'm using Zooper widgets, tasker and my Python assistant.

I want a clean looking font, but I can't decide

Me: This story doesn't account for certain edge cases. Who do I talk to?
Scrum master: Talk to the PO.
Me: Ok. Wait, the PO is out today to watch the eclipse.
SM: you can also talk to person2, 3 or 4.
Me: they're all out. I'm going home.
Ping me if they ever decide to get work done.

What the hell Windows !!!
I go for a 15 minutes break, and you decide to close everything and make an update??

Let me do my job you sob.

Be happy or offended. You decide.

When Project Owner congratulate your team that the app is not crashing on QA.

I struggle with naming things. Projects especially and particularly if I intend to make a library in C and want to prefix the routines with something.

How do you decide on a name for your software projects?

If you ever did decide to get a piece of code tattooed. What would it be?

I will let you decide what this is referring to:

To be able to create whatever yo want WITH your own hands (and an IDE). It feels like playing to be a god. You decide what to create and how will it work. Giving life to those lines of coding and seeing how the program starts "breathing". Watching how your creation "takes life" feels incredibly satisfying.

That fucking awesome feeling when you go to a Mozilla Code RSprint and the next day you get decide to build firefox and get it done right in the 1st try. Guys thats something which i can't just explain.
FOSS I adore you!

When you’re working on a React-Native app and decide to remove a library, don’t accidentally type a space instead of a hyphen when trying to remove something like ‘react-native-svg’. Xcode/expo get super mad when you remove react-native.

Don't you love when you start feeling down because you once again shelve/abandon yet another project because you simply don't know where to start and can't decide how things should be done.

Why can't I seem to get a project off the ground without it looking like total ass!

If for some reason you decide to write a shim for a VERY COMMON LIBRARY in your project:

1. DON'T
2. If you decide to ignore (1), at least make sure the SHIM WORKS THE SAME WAY AS THE LIBRARY

Two days of debugging sudden untraceable errors led me to find that a .so wasn't copied correctly during maintenance. fml

C# or c++. Hi im starting to learn programming and i have to decide between c# or c++. I use linux as my os. What do you think?

When you are modifying a test to accomadate for a new class implementation and manually calculate the expected output. Theoretically, this should not be much of an issue as its parent is an abstract class.30 mintues later and still banging my head, I decide to walk my dogs and then it hits.. I calculated the expected value incorrectly, the test was fine. Time for bed , its late -_-.

I wanna make a c+friends language and it'd be dev friendly and will throw lots of errors on compile to show love. Also it'll compile slower with each newline so you can always say "it's compiling" there will be classes but people instead and then instead of new I'll have create. As for loops let's go with a friendly do while loop and dontdo while as normal while or dowith i while to have a friendly for loop. Instead of ifs let's say decide() and instead of else let's have or. Instead of functions I'll have well you need no functions you'll have jumps and tests before jumps just like assembly has. Oh and everything will be a pointer because then it runs nicer. To create a variable you can't use = because that's the equal sign in decide you need to use "var int myint is 69" because why not. Then to print to the console "console.outputstream.out(myint)" instead of threads I'll have please like "please work" where work is a jump target. I hope you'll enjoy this language ^^

the best part about being a computer science student is the lecturer can't decide either you are programming or in game

I want to dual boot my win10 PC with Linux, but I can't decide if I want Debian 8 or Ubuntu. What do you guys think?

I'm totally confident until you decide gleam over my shoulder, breathing down my neck, staring at my computer making un-helpful comments.

Hello guys, I really need some advice today...

I'm currently 18. I got accepted in two pretty equivalent colleges. One is in my city, 1h with the bus, and the other one is in another city.

Both are somewhat equivalent schools, the one in another big city is much nearer to other colleges I'd like to go to later (this one will last 2 years, then I'll have to go to engineering school for 3 years).

I have to decide monday where I'll go. It's horrible.. here, in my city, I have the person I love and the comfort of living by the parents (even tho it's a discomfort too). But the other city attracts me a lot too, independance does too.. it's horrible, I can't decide, I don't know if it's a good idea to leave, and I fear having regrets if I stay.

Have you some experience to tell me about? Some regrets you have? Or basically some advice?

It would help me so much, thank you!!

I have made a lot of small changes in my app like minor bug fixes, Animation, optimizations, better database management, new options, overall interface improvements, ... to give the application a better overall appearance. Then I decide to show it to my Client.

"From what I can tell, you haven't done much since last time"

Dear Windows,
Just because you've got an update, it doesn't mean you can overrule my preferences and decide about the preferred languages behind my back. I've already decided and set it up. It's the first thing I always do. So don't try to be clever for fuck's sake.
Thank you

"Please unlock my account."
"You locked it by ignoring our password policy and having it not changed it within 24 hours."
"Please unlock it!"
"Please follow the instructions to unlock in the many E-Mails we sent you. You can unlock yourself."
"Please!"
"I filed a support ticket for you. Someone will get in touch with you and guide you through the process described in the mails. You still can decide to read the Mail and help yourself."
"Ey f@@"€& you! All I want is to have my account unlocked..."

Every day one of them. But I love you all. :)

I really dislike micromanagement. I don't want to dictate details. I don't like hierarchies where my direct reports obey me.

The only thing that obeys me is my hands, with them, I write the exact code I want. I don't hire another pair of hands. I hire another brain.

When you see your direct reports as professionals, you can give declarative tasks: "make a pretty website footer", "make that page load quicker". If you leave implementation details for your direct reports to decide, this doesn't mean they'll fuck up. They are professionals too, and if you personally interviewed them, you better believe they can handle it.

To senior devs: How do you manage half a dozen projects at once and decide when to prioritize time and do the small tasks yourself and when to let your team members learn and let them take their time...all while you're working on something exhaustive yourself?

Its time to remind ourselves the wonderful time of the year, where people look back and decide to be better and learn from your mistakes...

For example never test in prod and wake me up with notifications you dumbfucks... Someone has exams to do..

Seriously, I have seen a lot of push notifications lately, its some kind of Letstestinprod-uary?

A coversation with a classmate:
(We embraced Node and Javascript but he had no interest at all)

Me: So what tech stack do we use for this project?
Him: You guys decide... I'm fine with anything.
Me: So you're fine with any tech we use? No opinions?
(We need confirmation from all members but he, being the uninterested person he was, gave half-hearted replies)
Him: I'm actually a ROR person, not interested in node.
Us: ....

Dude we understand that you prefer ruby but at least help us decide! We studied all of this together... sheesh

When you finally decide to upgrade to a new Mac Book, and there's not a single unit in stock in Finland and earliest new stock ships early next year. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, I NEED THAT MACHINE RIGHT NOW!

I don't like when client decide which tech use in the project. I got some weird tech request like:
1. Move existing database from postgresql to Hadoop because hadoop is Big Data (is kinda move from amazon rds to amazon s3 just why? have you index, cluster your postgresql table?)
2. Move from mysql to postgresql because mysql cause deadlock (maybe their previous developer just fucking moron)
In this situation we just explain why we don't use that and propose alternative solution. If they insist with their solution either ignore it or decide not continuing the project.

So another infamous code (or smart code) you decide, there's class 'error' in the template/html and here this genius is removing it and adding it back? is this even logical at any level,

I mean just hide() and show() would do the job

I giggle a little bit every time I see a Microsoft Employee on Social Media because it's always "Derp McDerpington [MSFT]" and I ALWAYS read the "MSFT" as "Misfit"

Pro-Tip: If you change your `div` to `li` and then decide to change them to `span`, check before you replace all lest you end up with `Navspannk` from ‘react-router-dom’. Why are my styles not working? Ah, they are ‘spannkStyles’ now.

So you're working on a product that basically the main thing it does is fire off http requests and parse their responses into a nice model. We've made some nice helper class that allows you to do this easily, but a simple piece of functionality is not in there yet.

You agree to add this one simple function and decide to:

- Not conform to coding standards set by the team
- Document its behavior which does NOT match the implementation
- Not write a single fucking unit test to prove it's functionality

ARE
...
YOU
...
FUCKING
...
MAD?!

Don't you hate it when you have too many GB or RAM occupied and then you decide to launch a VM without realizing that Virtualbox will not only take the remaining space left but will also cap your RAM and everything freezes!? Uugghhh!

Could never decide which one is better. So i just use both randomly. What about you? Chrome or Firefox?

@zlice I am going to ...subtweet you? (Screenshot included)

Basically, so much what you said. 100%.

You stumble your way around different companies until you find something that sits right with you.

There are so many contributing factors to the "good company" and as many definitions as everyone will value different aspects of work. Good management? Tech stack to your liking? Kick ass colleagues? Interesting product? Good work life balance? Company contributing to world's welfare?

I can go on. Each of you will decide what is good, good enough, or decent and what sacrifices and tradeoffs are acceptable.

Every one of our sprint "planning" meetings.
We would sit and be told to estimate a bunch of defects we had never seen before. And then we wouldnt actually decide as a team what to commit to because it was assumed that we had to deliver everything in the backlog every sprint. This is what happens when you try to apply scrum to a maintenance team.

Hello everybody,

I am 17 years old, I love to code and I cannot decide which new language I should learn.

What do you think of Rust and Crystal? What would you prefer? What is better?

!dev Just realized I think I have a over diversified stock portfolio...

Now half 30 different stocks... Some of them etfs....

So many possible themes... Health care, ev, tech, recovery, US vs China debt...

How do you decide?

Don’t fall for the “language A is better than language B” -it’s all just syntax (within the same paradigm). Learn higher concepts such as: data structures, abstraction, loops, variables, conditionals, functions.

Only then can you decide that your favourite language is better than anyone else’s...

PM: "I have an easy question for you."
me: "Well let me decide if it's easy."
PM: "Where do the images for X in project Y come from?"
me: "Good question. No idea. I will come back to you."

planning to program a fun virus and plant it in my room mates computer, what shall it do? you decide

That moment when you decide to build clean code and declare every variable as private or protected but then you have to change that later on anyways to public again because you're to lazy to create setters and getters.... :/

Interviews... How many of you practice technical questions like from HackerRank, foobar?

How many try but then get so frustrated after 3hrs of getting stuck that you give up and decide to just wing it?

That moment when you are not able to find the functionality you intend to use in any of the libraries.... And then you decide to write your own. #devPower

When you don't quite know what a dongle is but you decide to misinform 150+ million users anyway

That moment when you've been slaving away after hours and before work and you decide to push all your local code (at least only the last week's worth) to BitBucket. But because everything you know about Android Development and SourceTree is self taught you manage to delete not only your online repository but all your local code as well. fml

The moment you decide to make your bug a feature! 👻👻👻

!rant
I got to work on this project written in PHP that is literally unsalvageable so I will need to redo it from scratch, it's an e-commerce/social network mix that allows you to resell your clothes and I will have to work with PHP-only server-side so I was looking for a JS framework that has all these cool features like Angular but does not require node.js and I stumbled upon React and Vue and I can't decide between them. I was wondering if anyone knows both of these frameworks and could help me decide which one to use. (I have almost no knowledge about these frameworks)

PS: The server-side will be PHP with MySQL because that's the only option that the client's hosting offers.

Why Unity, why did you decide to need a graphic card from 3080 to run smoothly?!?! Even in low graphics configuration...

Users complain about advertising and how it is annoying to have to see these ads just around the page while they just want to see the main content. So what do they do? They decide to use adblockers which start pushing web admins to find another method to make money. So half the time they offer the service for a lot more than normal which makes people not want to pay for it. So now I decide to push into the embedded crypto miners, which sadly cut in half my earnings but it’s so I can still make something and then people start to complain about this even though it doesn’t bother them in anyway

WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT

When planning a side project how do you decide what language/framework/whatever to use.

I have an idea for a web app that I want to build, but I just can’t decide what to build it with.

At the moment I’m leaning towards rails, but that’s because it’s probably the thing I’m least bad at.

There aren’t really any technical considerations, as it’s basically a system to record details of football matches I referee.

I can’t decide whether to stick with what I know and use it to build knowledge/experience or to use it as a vehicle to learn something totally new.

When you are at a crossroads, what helped you to decide?

I have two great job offers, and though my gut feeling is telling me to go one way due to tech stack and first communications, the other opportunity is (slightly) better paid and the company is much larger and nationwide active.

I'm too embarrassed to show my team leaders code to other developers..

unreadable, no tests, parameters hardcoded..

But managers want to "help him grow"..
When do you decide you can't fix a lemon?

Don’t let anyone tell you what to do in your life. Be whatever you want to be.

...if you do decide to be a coder, remember no language is better than the other. No language is perfect. You’ll never be a perfect coder. You’ll always need to search for basic things.

If at any point of time you disagree with any of this, you’re on the wrong path.

If you are posting a job and you decide to force candidates to create an account on some third party website just to submit a resume, I hope you only get the least qualified people.

Accepts placement at ** insert big Bank here ** reconsiders when:

1 - they forget to send a contract
2 - they lose your CV so they can't decide what you'll do for them.
3 - Forget to send you the email for one of the stages and you have to do everything past do.
4 - when after having to create accounts in 5 different of their systems they send you a Single Sign-On. Which doesn't work. And you spend 3 times on the phone to get it fixed.

I'm not due to even start in the next 2 months.

!rant
So I’m thinking about buying my very first MacBook but I can’t decide which one to get. Im between the 2017 MacBook Air 256Gb or a 2015 MacBook Pro 128Gb. I’m afraid that if I don’t get 256Gb it won’t be enough for college and work. Just a little background for you guys, I’m a software engineer student and also an iOS/RoR intern at a software development company.
Please help me decide which one to get!

Imagine you decide to spend a few hours to contribute to an open-source project wiki/documentation that hasn't been updated in years, to actually make it useful for new users, and then the maintainers start expecting further modification and corrections from you before pulling the PR, like you work for them, instead of just fucking pulling it in and then editing what they want themselves. It's just another example of how stupid and nonsense the open-source community can be.

From log debug to taking care of a whole software written by a guy who does not work in the company and did not spend any time commenting the freaking code.
The best part? The code is not finished and guys above you do not decide what needs to be done but expect stuff from you.

"Don’t you miss doing creative stuff, as an engineer? Don’t you miss the creativity of the art world? You can say: I’m working on an infinite canvas capable of any size and shape, that’s already glowing every color possible into the eyes of just about everyone on the planet. And I get to decide the kind of experience, feeling, and emotion they are going to have. How is that not creative?" - Natalya Shelburne

Every developer thrives to be the best. But, it's not only the skills, hard work or knowing infinite languages makes you the best. It only makes you the good.

Along with skills, hard work & the languages, the best one needs to have those instincts about the possible solutions to a problem and ability to decide and implement the most efficient solution cleanly in least amount of time.

I'm thriving to be the best. Are you?

That moment you decide to use your nephew as the rubber duck and it works surprisingly well