Phone conversation between me and a client:

CLIENT: "I see it weird..."
ME: "Which browser are you using?"
CLIENT: "The one you tech guys don't like"
ME: "Internet Explorer, isn't it?"
CLIENT: "Yeah, I'll switch to Firefox then."

*computer fell, broken in pieces*

Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?

Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,

Me: no, no I just-

Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?

Me: umm… no, look I'm just -

Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir

Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-

Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?

Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -

Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8

Me: no just check my-

Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-

Yup.

R: Random ass recruiter on LinkedIn
Me: me

R: Hey I was searching for X skill and your name popped up first. Would you like to work for our company? It's an urgent position with good pay and awesome latest tech

Me: I quit that very company 5 months ago, because the pay was low and the tech was from the 1990's.

R: :/

Me: :|

PS: I'm not 100% sure of this, but based off the tech stack, I'm pretty sure it was for the same fucking position I quit from.

Me: "My PC is sad what should i do? "
Tech-Support: "what do you mean your PC is sad"

i wonder whose(developer) idea was it to put just smiley instead of meaningfull error...

Storytime!

This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.

Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.

Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--

Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.

Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.

Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!

Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*

Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?

Customer: Yes, it has.

Me: On how many computers?

Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.

Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*

Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?

Me: *gives price*

Customer: And do you have any?

Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*

Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.

Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?

Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*

Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!

Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.

Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?

Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.

Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.

Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3

Customer: ...Okay, fine

Me: *updates the ticket*

When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."

If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.

If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?

If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.

If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.

If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.

IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.

I’m the tech support of my family and I’m proud! 😎

I only hate it if other people treat me like their personal tech support

Me: *updating Ubuntu using terminal*

Non-tech friend:
*looks at my terminal*
WOW! You must me real good at hacking and stuff!

Me: Of course i am, but keep it a secret though.

A seasoned colleague just wrote this and I think it was very valuable:

On tech debt:

So the big challenge with technical debt is making non-technical management (CEO, COO, CFO, directors) understand what it means, and just how it operates. Sometimes it actually makes good sense to incur technical debt to get to market sooner, just as it sometimes makes sense to borrow money to get cash now and repay that loan later with (hopefully) resulting greater revenues from that investment. But just like a loan, tech debt always has to be paid some day. The longer the tech debt goes, the more expensive it gets. And also like a loan, the cost compounds, like compound interest on a loan. Tech debt should always be chosen with a clear plan to pay it off at some point in the not too distant future. The longer one waits to pay it, the more expensive it gets.

!rant
Deployed my first website to production yesterday and the world isn't burning, the error logs have been empty and my (non-tech) colleagues think it is amazing.
I'm somewhat proud of myself.

For some reason my tech enthusiast mind gets really enthusiastic about the fact the Google calendar icon is now based on what date it actually is.

It’s official. I’m dating a girl.

She’s damn smart, tasteful, hot and really into tech.

Honest, talkative, a real keeper.

Studying IT-Security. Fuckkk I’m dropping spit out my mouth. ALL. DAY.

Just learnt Node JS a week back for a personal project. Started working on it and had to get hospitalized for Dengue. Feeling like a helpless non tech guy without my laptop 😓

Launching my own tech company, and bringing google down to it's knees with it 🤘

Family reunion weekend. I'm just wondering for how long this will stay a 'family reunion weekend' before it turns into a 'first person tech support weekend'

It time, when the old fat HiPPO in the tech team guns for Flash against HTML5 😕

Abstract CPU cooler art. Found this in my school tech room. No idea how it happened

// family tech support

Dad: *Opens Microsoft Word*
Dad: *Writes stuff*
Dad: *Saves the file as "Doc1.docx" (every time)*
Dad: Son, where did I save my file? I can't find it.

Overheard this today.

Client: I've tried running it but the batch file isn't working.

Tech: You're a batch file.

customer: make it black
me: if i make it black, text will be unreadable, also it doesnt fit with theme
customer: i dont care make it back
me: -makes it-
customer: it didnt fit with theme, revert it back

p2p working with people outside tech industry

Sometimes I feel I'm the live version of stack overflow for my family and friends...
Mom: The printer is acting up, how do I fix it?
Brother: I can't login to Netflix, help!
Grandparents: could you fix the radio/TV?
Gf: Apple can't validate my .uk mail

All to which I replied with the answer to life, the universe and everything...

FUCKING GOOGLE IT! Have you googled it?!

And the inevitable reply: no.

The only ones who get a free pass are my grandparents they were born in the 40's and think YouTube works on voodoo.

I downloaded this expecting it to be just guys arguing over stupid shit like iOS Vs Android, but I've been pleasantly surprised, everyone seems a lot nicer than the comments sections on tech websites

Tech Support Cheat Sheet

Keep it going in the comments (obviously tech related lol)

This is what I've been saying all my life but tech recruiters just don't get it....

Is it only me who wants to know the tech stack of Devrant! 😃

Oh the internet is a wonderful place

That moment when I realise why the CD of Ultimate Boot CD I have asked the tech team to burn for me does not boot... Because it *contains* the ISO file...

The link between one of the server units and our router has been disconnected and the sales dept. has gone completely offline,

Just because of this piece of crap:

If you could get rid of one tech company who would it be..

Mine would be apple - fuck apple

When you make a tech-ish joke and you have to explain it because your coworkers aren't that tech-ish.

Isn't it fantastic that someone right now, maybe, is building the next big thing in tech? Or that someone is building another JavaScript library to be released in the next 30 minutes?

“There’s too many Firefox quantum rants...”

Lemme let you in on a little secret:
It’s nothing new, get over it.

Apple released a new phone.
Windows updated.
Samsung or Google releases a phone.
Exam time.

Do any of you see a common theme? It’s the same people posting three metric fuck tons of posts about recent news. Wow, a tech person sharing tech news, imagine that. It’s just a phase, we all notice it. It’ll go away. Thanks. Have a nice day.

Well everybody knows it

I hate it when you try to be friends with a "Tech savvy" person and they don't know shit.

There should be a bossrant.com where bosses can rant about tech and devs. It would be hilarious.

Company that has tech != Tech company.

The amount of "Hey fellow programmers" I get from marketers of all people is cringeworthy. No amount of blockchain in your sentences will magically convince me you know anything about it.

When non-IT guys try to speak tech. For clients. Hilarity ensues :/

What support means to us!

Everytime a non tech friend start a conversation like "hello my lovely companian, I think I forgot my Instagram password.."

Always ends up with "..so can you hack it for me"
-_-

Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!

WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!

Guys! @dfox is doing an interview at my local tech radio show! Check it out on tunein WLJS . I can't wait to hear his inspiration for devRant.

"Eww that is not Dev-related!"
Shut the fuck up. For me, devRant is a social media for developers and not a social media about only dev-related shit.

"devRant is a fun community for developers to share and bond over their successes and frustrations with code, tech, and life as a programmer!"
You see?
"for developers"
"about code, tech and *life*"

For fucks sake... Stop crying around and just dislike it if you don't want it.

Controversial tech rant begins here:

You know, I'm sure a lot of you guys know that it is pretty uncommon to encounter a woman who is who is into tech (and ranting about said tech). This has always made people question why. I personally feel like that is the case because those that do like tech, and those that don't just find a different interest. I thought that would suffice, but now Google and Microsoft are advertising their diversity programs. I was fine with all that until I was personally affected by it. I intended to apply for scholarships from Microsoft. They turned me away because according to them, they began giving them only to people who were "marginalized". That and their commercials trying to pressure young girls to join the STEM field. Again nothing wrong with women in the tech field, but now that this is turning into favoritism I have to fight harder battles to compete in the tech industry. Not only that, but now I read a study about their employment. Despite the number of people they turned away and the money they spent on these programs, thr companies STILL haven't become any more diverse, and from what it seems, their reaction lately has been to double-down and try harder. I just want an open, honest, and fair tech community. Has anyone else felt the affects of this situation?

Tech/IT worker compass

Theory: zoomers are actually just boomers who come generationally full circle

Source: I work with clowns in their early 20s and the fact that they are young and were essentially born into tech and had it their whole lives literally has not contributed anything towards their understanding of basic tech concepts - if anything, it has made them more clueless.

The good news: now I know whatever is invented in the future, whatever tech comes to be, the next generation of clowns will always have many jobs to offer me.

That moment when you say you work as developer and someone respond : "Great, can you have a look at my microwaves?"

How. The. Fuck...do these people has a job:
Me: How much to repair my Nexus 6 screen? It's not full smashed.
Tech guy: We'll need to see the phone
Me: Why? I need the screen replaced
Tech guy: Ok...send us a screen shot. it could be a cheap fix

Fucking me side ways! Really?

New rule: if you come to me for tech help and didn't try turning it off and on, don't even bother.

When your parents expect you to be tech support and then fucking can't fix it, they get all like "You suck at programming". What does that have to do with fucking anything?!?!?!

I'm going to be all tech-snobby and share one of my favourite tweets.

I hate it when I see people doing this!!

Indian tech companies can put in weird skill requirements at times. See point 2, for fuck's sake is this real?! And it obviously contradicts point with point 5 right?

Let’s make an app like LinkedIn except for tech nerds who wanna date. We shall call it KinkedIn - Dating for Nerds!

Most of us might've seen our users doing it. Specifically, this happens if your are working on desktop product and users aren't much tech inclined.

I fucking hate non-technical founders looking down on the tech team as if it we're dispensable, and as a result, undervalue us in terms of money and equity.

This will definitely trigger some people.

New smartphone releases aren't 'tech news'.
An implementation of a technology ripped off from other devices (GPS, VR etc..) isn't 'tech news', it's just implementation of an existing technology.

So please, everyone who reads the self-called 'tech news' to look for a new phone release to waste money on - stop calling yourself a 'tech geek' - "Oh my god, I'm such a tech geek, it's embarrassing - this new iPhone was released and I just couldn't wait to get spend my money on it".

Just shut the fuck up - you are willingly dragging a tracking device everywhere you go and you are PAYING for it to look cool and be full of features you won't even fucking use.

How often do women bring up their own gender in tech interviews? I've never done it, and I've never interviewed anyone, but I'm curious about whether it's ever explicitly mentioned (beyond a, "I'm in a women in tech group" or "I mentor young girls in my free time").

I don't want to start any debates. Just curious about what people on the Other Side of the Table see.

Non tech coworkers before COVID-19: you don't need home office, it's only a way to avoid job responsibilities

Non tech coworkers today: yeah home office is a great idea, why we didn't think about it before

Bethesda is full of shit. Starfield somehow needs a super new PC because it alledgedly uses modern SW tech.

Strange point: while a high-end PC with 7800X3D and 4090 makes the performance bearable (though not great), the graphics don't look spectacular. In fact, they look outdated.

No Bethesda, you don't use modern tech. You require modern HW tech to make up somewhat for your shitty engine and incompetent devs.

Any one else’s kinda enjoy the process of removing tech debt? always thought it felt good to rip out old shit to put in shiny new shit

I finally got a job at a tech company (although it's not a tech job) with a very good work/life balance.

Therefore, I plan on getting more serious about properly learning how to program in my spare time, also because, being a tech company, programmers are all over the place and are generally willing to talk about code.

I must say that while job hunting, devRant has been very useful to me since it allowed me to understand what kind of environment I'd like to work in. So far, the first few weeks of work have been great.

Ah, and the view from the office is unbeatable.

When a tech loses his way into the development dungeon:
"PROGRAMMING MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!"

I decided to fix my car after car mechanic gave up... The backlight was blinking even the car was locked and turned off in the parking. Took me 4 days to figure it out. What I realised is that we are pushing tech to places where tech and electronics shouldn't be... My next car will be 1972 ford c, it doesn't have any of these modern problems.

Hey DevRanters,

You are tasked with living without tech in any shape or form (Lets say, for 2 weeks).

How you approaching it?

Working in a tech company as a project manager, the CEO asked me: a client requested to code the frontend with something call active java, are you familiar with it?
Me: well, it must be a new tech.."searched online..", no results found.
After calling the client, he was asking about React native.🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Terrible Dutch (!dev) tech pun I just came up with: (posted it earlier under the rant section but removed it due to that)

Wat moet een AMD CPU doen als'ie op vakantie gaat?

Ryzen.

This just needs to be here...

Made a full restaurant web-booking system for a customer...
Customer is so low-tech and don't use it at all....just print all mails received without notifying anyone else :(

A guy came to me with a laptop that wouldn't boot. After some poking around, I opened the machine just to find everything submerged in coffee. No sh*t your computer doesn't work..

As someone into the cutting edge research in tech, it is my pleasure to inform you that I finally bought a pair of Bluetooth headphones. 😁

Yeah, nah, the irony ain't lost on me.

Worst dev tech I have used must be Visual Studio in a virtual Windows machine.

I can't think of anything slower.
And also, I'm a Linux user so I just hate it.

Isn't it obvious?

He ran the most well known tech company at the time; who I wanted to become when I was a kid when I first started programming.

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keeps quiet for the moment)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech support: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech support: (hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE <nosmoke> at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech: (hush hush)

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of the power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

Tech Lead: We need to exclude logged in user from our all users API as we don't want to show user's self card on the frontend with other users.

Me (Backend dev): This should be handled by the frontend and they should exclude it by a condition in their loop:

If (user.id != loggedUser.id)
{
// Add card
}

We also need self user at several other places.

Tech Lead: Create a query param filter for that.

Me: We should keep our APIs as generic as possible.

(Real thing starts)

Tech Lead: Which has more processing power frontend or backend?

Me (confused): Backend

Tech Lead: This will add a break to our loop and Do you know how much processing power it will take because of this condition?

Me (dead): WHAAAA....?

I always hear "its impossible to talk to tech people, its like they're from another planet". Well get used to it, cuz the nerds shall inherit the earth!!

Levels of tech awareness:

0: Doesnt use tech at all
1: Uses tech only for work
2: Uses it for films/gaming
3: Has alexa/google home
4: Uses smart home system
5: Has a loaded shotgun under the pillow, which is used to shoot the only piece of tech in the house (a printer from 2004) when it makes an unexpected noise!

Got convinced to work with a boss who seem to know it all in tech.

I honestly thought he knew tech, to code at least.

And then one day he referred to Java as the same as JavaSrcipt.

Oh no.

If you woke up tomorrow and it was the year 2000, but you only remembered tech stuff from the future. What would you do?

Switch your tech stack or programming language or development framework to something that you enjoy more.
If it requires to switch the company, do it!
If it requires to learn something new and you think that you don‘t want to, then it‘s probably the wrong goal.

God, i fucking HATE tech that involves running it through legal!

Found this in "Origin" book by Dan Brown. I love it when tech jokes surface in novels.

Started a new job and our tech lead doesn't know how to use GIT in a team environment, has only ever used it while working by himself on one person projects. Kinda worried...

Is it just me or are tech recruiters like used car salesman?

Whenever tech support answers "yes, i can help you with that sir",

what they really mean is "no, but i will google it for you"

Honestly, this is me anytime I have to give legitimate tech support that is more than the wifi being down.

It sucks but I'm learning and Google,/DDG helps the process hahaha

Me and tech coworker opens office front door. Another coworker starts ranting how he accidentally hit som key combo and started some speech synthesis feature in Windows. Me and tech coworker both declared we had never heard of that feature before.
Ten minutes goes by, then muggle coworker comes by asking for help to turn it off. Tech coworker Googles solution in literally 6 seconds on the phone without even stopping the conversation we had going on when muggle interrupted.

How is it that muggles haven't found out that the Internet contains stuff?! And that it's searchable!!

Gaaaahhh

PM: We have 2 issues on server side and 2 on backend.

Tech lead: It's the same

PM: Is it? How?

🪙 The golden age of tech is coming to an end. We currently live in a world of tech built by engineers and great minds; both Windows and Linux are great in their own ways. PCs are the peak of engineering, both desktops and laptops because of how versatile, powerful and universal they are. They serve engineers, designers and end users. You can do anything you can imagine; because the great people who built it, did it in such way that they themselves could use and enjoy it.

📱 The tech of the future will become ever more limited. The next generation of humans will use Chrome OS gladly and not even feel limited because they never experienced the freedom provided by a true personal computer device. Android OS is already getting ever closer to restricting 3rd party APK installers. Big tech will do everything they can to limit freedoms and make everyone use cloud, where they can charge $ for every damn click.

☎️The consumer-facing tech will become increasingly dumbed-down over time. The programmers and engineers will be still able to use "true" tech, but only for work. In everyday life, they will have to be content with the dumb limited tech.

And there is nothing we can do to stop it.

"Come on, please try a bit harder. Why don't the IT students make an app to sell local goods online or something? Even I, without knowing anything about tech, consider this to be easy".

Wise words from a non tech substitute teacher I once had the honor of studying under. When he checked everyone's 1 month project proposals, he expressed his disappointment.

I wonder if he works in management now.

When your on the toilet and come across a tech video you want to watch but can't because of the audio. It would be weird... need to start taking headphones to the john.

Lately it's been DevRant. Honestly. I sometimes lose the drive to learn. Then see newer tech people are using on here and it reinvigorates me. So DevRant.

I wish I had been an “ex-Google tech lead” for a week - so that could tell everyone I was “ex Google” as if it were like being a Dr. or something.

(not)

I have lost every it job i have ever had. From programming to tech support. Am i the only one?

I finally came to that conclusion:

Customers doesn’t really know what they are buying.
IT company doesn’t really know what they are selling.

Got back to programming. After a failed period as tech lead at another company. It feels good to be a dev again.

When a Field Tech emails you about a problem and the screenshot is embedded in a Word Document. WTF, why can't they send it as a f'ing jpeg, gif, or IDK a png?

BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Blizzard clowns have done it again… they changed male/female to body type selection. Voices are still male/female, characters are still referred as he/she. Fuck these pandering piece of shits.

I hate non-tech people hijacking tech field inch by inch.

The CEO of Harley Davidson once said his was the only company logo that people tattoo on their body.

Anyone sad enough to have a tech tattoo...and brave enough to admit it?

Google Tag Manager is a complete abomination of UX. The whole concept is just ridiculous, it lacks at least 3 levels of automation. Non-tech people won't be able to use it and for tech people it's laughably inadequate while still being conceptually difficult. A perfect combination of a tool that does too much and too little at the same time.

When I see bullshit mostly about tech-related stuff, I usually imagine myself doing this. It makes me happy and in some situations almost tolerant to idiotism.

As I sit and stare at code, and then stare at the Bills I need to pay as the month starts. I began to think, what if I too was part something new in Tech. Everytime, I see people creating new Tech, getting noticed, I wish I was there on forefront.

Then it gradually dawns on me, "you are just here to make ends meet, survive in the corporate world. Why care about the world. Let it go as it is."

"A shitty life".

WTF do y’all mean when you say it just works “out-of-the-box”.

What’s one Tech buzzword or phrase that in your opinion, shouldn’t exist?

Father's friend ask if I'm gonna open printing and scanning press when I'm done with IT degree.
I said yes to avoid been his tech support

Bitcoin is a toy which got attention like Fidget spinner.. but Blockchain is an Art it is future..
Anybody wants to invest $$$$ in other Blockchain tech .

So I got sick of this "nodejs" bullshit around here and proposed a competition to define our next backend tech.

The node defender is already finding excuses as to why they might write bad code because of lack of knowledge , my answer:
If you don't know the tech we ain't gonna use it.

Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.

1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???

The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...

Fun game: find a random tech meme/joke and search it in google with "site:devrant.com". If you find it - you drink

Probably taking our tech directors mobile phone and putting in the ceiling. Kept ringing him from our desks and he couldn't work out where it had gone, but could hear the theme from Rocky, so knew it was close!

!dev but tech related...

Got a device configured in a location that is fairly far away from me. It operates only through a cloud service specifically for these devices, with one of the most unreliable web interfaces and smartphone apps I have ever used.

I email my issues to the tech support who don't seem to understand the problems and can't fathom the difference between "reset settings" and "restart device".

Eventually they need to log in to my account to find out whats wrong. I explicitly state that under no circumstances should any settings be changed.

Today I find that the device has been removed from the cloud account. I physically must be near it to register it on the account again. Tech support don't seem to know what happened and the best explanation is that it is "a glitch". They have no way to add it back themselves. I have to travel to the device.

Funny how this happened after I let them access the account...

Everyday tech support struggles:

- "I can't find my document."

- "Ok where did you save it?"

- "In Word."

- "I understand you saved it in Word but where did you save the file to?"

- "I'm not sure, Word did the rest"

Who the fuck accepted this garbage copy pasted code all over the place?! Ah, it was our "tech lead", cool.

Not my week for tech.

5 year old 21" desktop monitor burns out. 2nd monitor, so at least not completely down.

Then my toddler reached for my root beer and spills it on my 1 month old laptop. I quickly pull the plug and turn upside down, get it wiped off and pray. Next day, arrow and enter keys a little sticky and battery is blown. The 2 exact fucking reasons I bought the new laptop. (keyboard issues and battery)

Keep em coming tech gods.

When learning new tech, it takes me forever to get the environment/dependencies setup because of the million different errors I get.

Am I just too dumb to follow installation instructions?

When you think about it.. we, DevOps, are the Mario Bros of the tech world.

We do the building, maintenance and pipelining so that whatever shit developers produce, it would end up in the right place w/o getting stuck

Why do tech impaired people always break their tech and they have "no idea" how it broke...
Seriously? What did you do? You know what you were doing? Were you touching random setting again? For fuck sakes just tell me. You've fucking it up 3 times this week already it's not like I don't know your an incompetent prick.

Did well at a tech screen today. it feels good to NOT feel like an idiot after an interview.

I did it y'all, I just put in two weeks. Goodbye tech debt, goodbye anti-patterns, goodbye constant firefighting.

Have parents? Save yourself time with this general-purpose email signature.

One good thing about working at a shitty place is you end up knowing what not to do by just pure pain.

I once consulted for a company who had the latest tech - kubernetes, bit bucket, you name it. But it didn't matter. The code was shit. It's not about the tech, it's always about the people that use the tech.

love it when people rage quit when you fix the tech debt problem they created because they think the fix is too stupid 🤣BYEEEEE!

We had only one product UX designer in our team.

She quit and I habe accelerated my job hunt.

And when I quit too, the tech team will collapse with both of us gone.

Because then there will be no product manager and no designer, only tech who is arrogant and cocky to even built a simple button to refresh the fucking page.

God bless with this fucking tech team. The Tech Senior leadership is shit. They deserve it, but for now, it's us who are facing challanges.

Once you offer tech support to one person, you become the IT department to all people.

I have been interning at a tech company as a software developer. And it is a paid internship program where I haven't got any stipend for the past months. I have to pay rents, bills, even my transportation too. So o decided to startup a tech company along with my friends. Later this month we are launching our first product.

Just reminiscing about the time I needed to recover my ldap password and the procedure consisted of an asthmatic tech support dude showing it to me in a giant spreadsheet.

Why would companies ever hire a manager from a non-tech background, at least for managing engineers? After reading @IAmNotARobot's latest rant I just have to ask because it makes absolutely no sense to me. Surely non-tech people should be reserved for managing non-tech roles like sales, HR, and maaaaybe team leads, right? How can you manage someone if you don't understand anything of what they do?

The company I work for now has so much tech debt. When I find an issue, I can’t necessarily fix it right away because I have other priorities. If something isn’t a site-breaking issue, then I only fix it when a user or staff member reports it.

The website is a mess because it was built and maintained by an outside dev agency. It was so expensive to outsource that my employer decided to bring development in-house.

That’s where I came in. I found so many issues. Tech debt. UX weirdness. Newish features that no one seemed to use. It goes on.

So I’m balancing new feature development, fixing bugs, and trying to lessen our tech debt. I’m a team of one.

New years resolution: no more tech support period. No one appreciates it and if anything breaks in the future youre expected to fix it. Lol, no thanks

Wait for it to be “slightly old” tech , don’t chase shiny when it’s still brand new.

Just use the variable on the line after the promise, it will be populated then…

From a “tech lead”

worst dev tech ever for me was intel x86 assembler. I developed on motorola 68k before and i loved it. x86 was horror.

WTF IS THIS? Been popping up all day.... I tried googling but official support says to uninstall Office and Visual Studios....

WTF MSFT!!!! Quite frankly it feels even tech support at tech companies aren't very competent.... just staffed by a bunch of call center monkeys?

"Java and C++ Spring Boot and Angular Ansible Jenkins Azure Hosting"

nice, a stack for boomers lost in the 2000s

stop it. just stop it.

"Some other tech buzzwords we use"... yeah, "typescript" and "big query" are not "tech buzzwords" they're literally the names of languages and/or tools

tell me you're an HR rube without telling me you're an HR rube

😩😩😩 <- love this one, literally called "weary face"

Does anyone writes any kind of tech blogs in their free time? If Yes, can you share it.

Eli5: senior dev here, 18 years experience in tech. I don’t get why spring boot/batch is so highly rated. I absolutely hate it. Please tell what I’m missing?

when a senior and tech lead write conflicting PR comments ~1 week apart

i dont give a fuck, ill do it either way you want but you 2 need to sort out how the fuck you want it

It amuse me when managers are trying to be smart, so they pretend to understand all tech stuff but they just fool themselves and no one threat them seriously XD

A music community! A Real world one with tech to organize it.

Actually working on it with finite time and money

In Fireship's last video, the guy talks about how Amazon moved Prime video's architecture to old-fashioned monolith, from Serverless, and saved a bunch of money and improved performance doing so.

It makes me wonder, what old tech have we put behind us already that will later make a comeback as an 'improved' version of that tech? What do you think?

Continuing my rant from Yesterday....
As I was strolling though Walmart yesterday...
Tech Support 1: $Customer is having issues with their tablet they bought from us.
Tech Support 2: tell them to shut it off and shut it back on
Me: ❓

ignoring a broken unit test suite. although ive just convinced the tech lead to let is look into getting it working again.

Nitrux OS
I feel that this piece of wonder isn't getting the recognition it deserves.
One of the most beautiful UIs out there, revolutionary tech like znx(booting from the main iso ALWAYS and keeping user data across reboots, in a nutshell) and it has weird ass virtualization stuff that allowed them to run windows with very little virtualization overhead(tech details yet to announce).

Imma stop here before getting labelled another fanboy, just check it out and see for yourself
Thanks for reading, i use arch btw

I once met a guy who said tech guys chose windows over Mac's because windows goes wrong often so it keeps the tech guys in work!

And Mac's hardly ever break so they didn't want their business to use them

He clearly hasn't met tech guys we don't want to be dealing with your fucking problems

It made me furious internally... I said nothing.

Seriously do you think all tech guys in the world joined a union and went 🤔 how can we make sure we have more work ... Fuck off you ponsy twat

Google did it again. Damn.
Create a project in flutter -> Android code AUTOMATICALLY GENERATED is full of errors that i can't even fix.
One of the biggest tech companies, 2020.

Just finished watching "Halt and Catch Fire" on Netflix. If you haven't checked it out, you definitely should. It's about 80s tech disruptions. Also, any other suggestions for tech related TV series / movies? Silicon Valley, Mr. Robot etc.?

How the tech industry works:
> Find a task that makes you go outside to do that task
> make an app to do it from home

when your IT policy means that you have to submit a tech request for each nuget package you know you're in for a long day

I find it hard to pickup a new tech unless i need to build something with it. I guess i learn better by doing than just reading.

Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.

H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.

Any H&CF fans have an opinion?

Your tech will power off forever after two years of warranty is over. You agreed to that, it was in terms and conditions.

Setting up an FTP & Plex server for our house.

>> This was in my infancy of programming and tech, so it made me feel like a complete fucking BADASS.

any dev pioneering techs here watched "black mirror". if didnt do it, it just might change your life and views about tech.

All Tech meetings: I think over 50% of people open the video and keep it on mute, 45% use it as background noise while they code, and maybe 5% of people actually pay attention.

I tech write, I am also learning coding on the side. You guys have all the same complaints/issues I have at my day job already... tech writers just copy paste, it can be done in a week right, damnit...

Interviewer (project manager):
We are great company and we need high skill in lots of languages and technology like js, python, es6, docker, vagrant, linux and ..., we are always use new tech in fact we are on the edge of technology
Me: wow your company is the best

After hired:
Project manager:
Forget about new tech
Just make this project alive with wordpress and plugins,do it man just do it

Me: 😑😑😑😑😑

I actually learned alot about software development after getting a job and doing it for a year, but not in my 4 years of B. Tech Education.

- Frustrated Indian

The feeling when you've spent a good week working on making super new tech work with super old tech... and finally get it working.

On cloud nine ATM.

Me: Hey, that modification though it will fix the issue, it will add a lot of tech debt in the future.
Lead CoWorker: We'll take care of that when that happens.
Guess who's fixing that TODAY?

After weeks of constant rush, I finally managed to have one week dedicated entirely to reduce Tech Debt.
It felt so good to close all these todos, finally write those tests, that documentation :)

Oh, you think because you are technical and work in tech, then you won't be blown out by technological innovations?

I hate to be the one to break it to you — you. Fucking. Will.

What do you tell non-tech-savvy ppl that you do? So far I've narrowed it down to: "I'm a programmer of sorts...". "I make websites" just doesn't cut it anymore. With others I'm safe to say I'm a full stack developer.

Asus. I had an asus laptop and everything was fine for a year, but after a year it stopped working on battery and their tech-support representative was really rude to me + they refused to fix it.

Do these stupid tech writers even research what they talk about, if it's not the same 5 points as every other article on the topic then it's an article written this week on '5 Open Source HTML and CSS Editors and they mention Brackets.

Fair enough... but they link to the adobe Gitub, saying it ""isn’t super actively maintained"" which I guess is accurate since it has been dead for 2 years. Rather than the more recently updated 'brackets-cont' project that had a release back in October 2022.

Like fuck it's like these tech writers just pump out content years after it's relevant without any research or editing.

Pointless complaining I know but it bothers me how mindless mainstream tech writing is, it's all the same regurgitated ideas, or outdated information. Not saying I could fix it, but I'm sure someone out there can do something.

tech D&D
dev = fighter
ops = cleris
network = wizard
design = bard
dba = warlock
infosec = rogue

it is not mine but i think its great analogy. and because i always choose the warlock

I can write articles to tech sites. I used to be editor at one Windows news site and kinda liked it. Although, they've kicked me for being Windows Mobile sceptic 😐

When a non-tech friend who does not know many English words and slangs wants to talk about Google Assistant and abbreviates it to GooAss.

The other week a Comcast tech was out to install some new equipment. He was unsure whether an antenna could be placed outdoors, so he asked on a Comcast tech group chat. Within seconds he received a response from another tech: "Google it". It just amused me slightly that it's not just developers who get this response, and also made me a little bit mad because I know the frustration of being told to Google something even when I am asking in the right place.

Rate my high tech setup, i spent alot of time putting it together.

I am talking with the tech lead for a solution he is proposing for the project.

I already finished coding it yesterday because of our "just deliver" culture. Our tech lead is opposing this culture. The deadline established by the manager is basically tomorrow.

Is this right approch for a tech lead? To oppose the management established deadline?

What is tech stack of DevRant? someone asked this earlier but cant find it anywhere

How come that everytime I learn a new tech/framework, I find that one flaw after 5 minutes which has been there forever, dozens of people complain about it yet nobody fixed it?

!Rant

Was just wondering using which tech devRant website was built?
Sorry its a reRant I recall seeing it before but can't find it again
I know the app is using React right?

Tech lead: so for this sprint, please implement this HTML page in Angular

Me: do we know what kind of Angular table we are using yet?

Tech Lead: just use the Angular UI one

Me: do we know if that supports drag and drop and custom filters?

Tech Lead: that's not needed for this page

Me: yeah but like 5 other pages of this web app does

Tech Lead: so? We will find a different table then.

Me: but they will look and feel very different and it will be totally obvious that it's patchwork, and we will need to rewrite this page you want me to write now...

Tech Lead: so what if they look completely different. Stop thinking about future sprints. can you have it done next week?

Me: ummmm.....

... this is going to be a fun project. Oh, not to mention I'm only supposed to work on it for 20% of my time....

Dear <<First Name>>
I Was going through my mails and I saw this shit!! I call it WHEN TECH GOES WRONG 😂😂😂 but nevertheless it could happen to anyone

I like the idea of it but for tech support this won’t work. Ugh I just wish they could make a GUID for every NVR model.

>be me a tech nerd

>see sexy women

>try to engage in conversation but only make werid gurgling noises

>never live it down

!rant

A (non tech) friend just showed me tensorflow and I am pretty intrigued. Has anyone here ever tried it and what have you done with it?

Have you ever managed to land a job a d immediately realised: what have I done?!

I start an IT tech and web dev for. 100+ user company as the one and only IT guy. Immediate anxiety.

I don't get it.
The job listing is for a developer. I applied as a developer.
Why do they ask me whether I'd be willing to do tech support? What's their motive?

I might ruffle some feathers with this one...

But..

If you've been working in the tech industry for 4+ years and still SOLELY rely on your tech stack to land you a job, and then fail at it, then it's your own fault and no one else's.

Mind blown.
If google improves their tech at this rate, what's gonna happen? Is it for the good or bad? They are getting access to the world data. Random thoughts.

My fiancee was a developer and is now starting recruiting. The recruitment agency knows that she's a tech girl. I'm trying to push her to get all the IT recruitment jobs, because we all know that java != javascript, she does too, but 99% of recruiters do not. Whats the best way you were approached by a recruiter? And should she show to the recruitees that she has tech knowledge? Would you , yourself look at a recruiter that knows about IT differently? Advice appreciated :)

Being made tech lead on a team looking after 5 unrelated apps that are all shit.

Anyone else find the role of tech lead just a complete pain in the ass or is it just me?

As soon as I got told this I wanted to quit on the spot

First you code, than manger asks you to prepare a ppt to explain it to non tech people.
Suck in demands.

Tech celebs

If you're unfamiliar with this term, tech celebs are certain people in tech who are actively followed by many people (especially on Twitter).

What are your opinions on tech celebs?

I think that only a few of them are worthy of fame because of their work(actual contributions) in the field of tech. Most of them seem to be famous because of (one or combination of such reasons):
1. Regular generic tech posts on Twitter including garbage questions (to draw engagement) like "what advice would you give to your younger self?"
2. Creating controversy and getting involved in a controversy (especially when it involves womenInTech).
3. Playing victim by posting screenshots of weirdos in their dms or people who blocked them because this engages a lot of hate from people as a sign of support.
4. Work at a FAANG.

Tech event in Prague next week.... Chance to geek out by day and by night for a few days.... Question is... Should I enter the hackathon or just take it easy?

when your tech lead admits she doesn't know what's going on, but is confident she'll figure it out through archeology

is it possible to learn this power? im malding with jealousy