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Search - "don't be evil"
So... A random morning moment:
(c - Cient, m - me)
C: Help!!! Our users are complaining that our website is not working as intended!!! This is crucial!!!!
M: What's the problem? What is not working?
C: EVERYTHING!!!! FIX IT!!!!
M: Could you be more specific...?
C: Look at the bugsnag - it has all the errrors!!!
M: *looks there - no errors* - But... It has no errors...
C: Okay, so client told me he's using Galaxy SII - does that ring a bell?
M: *thinks that I'm fucked* - Asks, which browser?
C: Why do you need it? It's a browser after all...
M: Yeah but not all browsers are the same and I need type and version to investigate...
C: It's Samsung default browser... Last updated 2012 January.
M: Well, tell that user to update the browser, the site is working fine on newer versions...
C: No, you update it.
C: Yes, what else?!
M: Of course, I'll fly 3000 kilometres to press UPDATE button on clients phone...
C: Well, he's not doing it himself - he's afraid!
M: Well, that is his problem. Site is working fine for other users with newer browsers.
C: But... He's a client
M: I get it but he's a client that uses 6 years old browser and tries to visit our website. Don't you remember that we ditched IE support on your behalf for the same reason?!
C: Oh... I see... Can you make something that it works with 2005 browsers?
M: Of course... *evil laugh starts* I'll make the website work on EVERY single device EVER - make it plain text.
C: Are you joking?
M: Are you?
And since then, we ditched the actual need for supporting users with old browsers that don't update to modern standards... Feels great!13
So I have complained to our landlord about a noisy neighbor who keeps blasting shitty music at midnight, and technically its against the law as well, but this bitch ass joke of a human being ignored even the most highest of authority.
Seeing I can't solve it with democracy, I finally gave up with any reasonable type of way to restrain this motherfucker (even calling police didn't help) and went full asshole with him
I know his WiFi uses WPS PIN, but I'm not gonna throttle his network, I want to piss him off so much he'll regret living beside me, or at our place entirely.
So I performed a Evil Twin attack, I had my Raspberry Pi act as a both cloned AP and a deauther. Finally the plan came to effect.
I ran the deauther in his AP, effectively disconnecting his devices, and had the devices connect to the cloned network. The primary aim of my attack is to annoy this bitch ass to the point of no return. The project I used serves a website on the cloned AP like a update for his router. I intentionally made it run overnight, blasted Lo-fi hip hop and went to sleep. Before I dozed off, I can hear their scream of rage because they can't blast their music at full volume (waddaya guess, they use Spotify).
I finally woke up the next day, and I find neighbor complaining about me, and they were trying to tell the landlord I was hacking them. It's technically true but its not as bad as domestic disturbance for a full fucking week.
Landlord asked me if I did it, I declined, she believed me (I know she does because she knows I'm a pure soul unlike this mofo). Then he left frustrated, threatened to sue me for hacking.
I just smickered, he can't really prove anything unless I was being sloppy.
Nowadays I get good sleep and finally we live in a quite peaceful place now. Now you may ask, what happened to that guy? After he threatened me, the next night he found his things outside his own room, he was kicked out by the landlord.
Moral of the story: we ain't hating on your music taste but don't showcase it like its the most important thing in the world when everyone is sleeping. Case and point, don't be an asshole21
Unpopular opinion about Microsoft buying GitHub.
Are people seriously mad that their code has gone from one capitalist corporation to another, with no foreseeable change in privacy or data policy? I have respect for those that switched to self hosted long ago since that's going from corporate to private, but if you throw away the UX and community GitHub has developed because a multinational corporation (with so many branches, products and divisions, which happens to have a few products you don't like) will soon own it, are you actually making a rational, guided decision?
Also just throwing it out there that GitLab is also a company. They've also had issues with keeping data intact in the past. They do, however, have free private repos (although I can't ever trust someone who gives me "free" privacy) as well as builtin CI. There are some definite upsides to it, although the UX has a ton of differences. If you're expecting the same dashboard and workflow you've used on GitHub, don't, GitLab has cool features but the bells and whistles aren't the exact same.
If you're switching to GitLab solely because of Microsoft, step back and think, regardless of how popular it might make you to hate Microsoft, is it really worth changing your development ecosystem to go from one corporate entity to another solely because you don't like the company?
I use GitLab and GitBub as well as Bitbucket and selfhosted git on a daily basis. They each have their upsides and downsides; but I think switching from one to the other solely because of Microsoft is not only totally irrational, but really makes light of/disrespects the amazing tools and UX the teams behind each one have carefully developed. Pick your Git hosting based on features and what works out for your use case, not because of which corporate overlord has their name plastered on it.
(Also just throwing it out there that lots of devs love VS Code, and that's Microsoft owned too... They did also build and pioneer a bunch of really cool shit for devs including Typescript so it's not like they're evil or incapable in any sense?)16
Fuck you, devs who quote Knuth:
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil"
I agree with the spirit of the quote. I agree that long-winded arguments comparing microsecond differences in performance between looping or matching constructs in a language syntax is almost always nonsense. Slightly slower code can even be preferable if it's significantly clearer, safer and easier to maintain.
But, two fucking points need to be made to you lazy quickfix hipsters trying to sell your undercooked spaghetti code as "al dente", just fucking admit that you had no clue what you were doing.
So here we go:
1. If you write neat correct code in one go, you don't need to spend time to optimize it. Takes time to learn the right patterns, but will save you time during the rest of your career.
2. If you quote Knuth, at least provide the context: "We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time [...] Yet we should not pass up our opportunities in that critical 3%"
YES THAT CRITICAL 3% IS WHERE YOU MESSED UP.
I'll forgive you for disgorging your codevomit into this silly PR.
BUT YOU'RE QUOTING KNUTH IN YOUR DEFENSE?
Premature optimization is the root of all evil... 6300 SQL queries to show a little aggregate graph on the dashboard... HE WOULD FUCKING SLAP YOUR KEYBOARD IN HALF IN YOUR FACE.3
A lot of the people are complaining about working in inhumane conditions. I want to debunk some bullshit that I think is causing this.
Devs are hard to find. That makes you valuable. A good dev that actually works for 30-40 hours per week is extremely hard to find.
The relationship with your employer / client should be simple: you work, they pay. What you do NOT:
1. Do not take responsibility for other people's decisions
2. Do not internalize other people's problems (you've got your own, better stick to them)
3. Do not let ANYONE guilt trip you into anything that you're not indeed guilty of.
4. Do NOT work for an effective rate that's significantly lower than you know you can get elsewhere.
There are indeed some utterly evil assholes out there that will try to manipulate you, into thinking that you're "part of the project", or that "you're all a team". Yeah, you are, but when it comes to making money, you'll only get the salary, regardless of how successful your work will be. THEY have a motivation to stay up late, to work extra hours, etc. You DO NOT. If you do that, and don't get paid extra, you're working for free, which means that you're not a professional.
Are you a professional? Then have respect for yourself, and bill for every fucking second of your time. Don't let the assholes think they own you.
As a professional, you MUST do EXACTLY what you're paid to do. No more, no less. Well, if you're feeling good about it, then you can do slightly more. And anyone that's demanding more, basically has no respect for you, and doesn't consider you a professional. That is the plain truth. See it as it is, and handle those scumbags accordingly.5
This rant is a confession I had to make, for all of you out there having a bad time (or year), this story is for you.
Last year, I joined devRant and after a month, I was hired at a local company as an IT god (just joking but not far from what they expected from me), developer, web admin, printer configurator (of course) and all that in my country it's just called "the tech guy", as some of you may know.
I wasn't in immediate need for a full-time job, I had already started to work as a freelancer then and I was doing pretty good. But, you know how it goes, you can always aim for more and that's what I did.
The workspace was the usual, two rooms, one for us employees and one for the bosses (there were two bosses).
Let me tell you right now. I don't hate people, even if I get mad or irritated, I never feel hatred inside me or the need to think bad of someone. But, one of the two bosses made me discover that feeling of hate.
He had a snake-shaped face (I don't think that was random), and he always laughed at his jokes. He was always shouting at me because he was a nervous person, more than normal. He had a tone in his voice like he knew everything. Early on, after being yelled for no reason a dozen of times, I decided that this was not a place for me.
After just two months of doing everything, from tech support to Photoshop and to building websites with WordPress, I gave my one month's notice, or so I thought. I was confronted by the bosses, one of which was a cousin of mine and he was really ok with me leaving and said that I just had to find a person to replace me which was an easy task. Now, the other boss, the evil one, looked me on the eye and said "you're not going anywhere".
I was frozen like, "I can't stay here". He smiled like a snake he was and said "come on, you got this we are counting on you and we are really satisfied with how you are performing till now". I couldn't shake him, I was already sweating. He was rolling his eyes constantly like saying "ok, you are wasting my time now" and left to go to some basketball practice or something.
So, I was stuck there, I could have caused a scene but as I told you, one of the bosses was a cousin of mine, I couldn't do anything crazy. So, I went along with it. Until the next downfall.
I decided to focus on the job and not mind for the bad boss situation but things went really wrong. After a month, I realised that the previous "tech guy" had left me with around 20 ancient Joomla - version 1.0 websites, bursting with security holes and infested with malware like a swamp. I had never seen anything like it. Everyday the websites would become defaced or the server (VPN) would start sending tons of spam cause of the malware, and going offline at the end. I was feeling hopeless.
And then the personal destruction began. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I was having panick attacks at the office's bathroom. My girlfriend almost broke up with me because I was acting like an asshole due to my anxiety issues (but in the end she was the one to "bring me back"(man, she is a keeper)) and I hadn't put a smile on my face for months. I was on the brink of depression, if not already there. Everyday I would anxiously check if the server is running because I would be the one to blame, even though I was trying to talk to the boss (the bad one was in charge of the IT department) and tell him about the problem.
And then I snapped. I finally realised that I had hit rock bottom. I said "I can't let this happen to me" and I took a deep breath. I still remember that morning, it was a life-changing moment for me. I decided to bite the bullet and stay for one more month, dealing with the stupid old server and the low intelligence business environment. So, I woke up, kissed my girlfriend (now wife), took the bus and went straight to work, and I went into the boss's office. I lied that I had found another job on another city and I had one month in order to be there on time. He was like, "so you are leaving? Is it that good a job the one you found? And when are you going? And are you sure?", and with no hesitation I just said "yup". He didn't expect it and just said "ok then", just find your replacement and you're good to go. I found the guy that would replace me, informing him of every little detail of what's going on (and I recently found out, that he is currently working for some big company nowadays, I'm really glad for him!).
I was surprised that it went so smoothly, one month later I felt the taste of freedom again, away from all the bullshit. Totally one of the best feelings out there.
I don't want to be cliche, but do believe in yourself people! Things are not what the seem.
With all that said, I want to give my special thanks to devRant for making this platform. I was inactive for some time but I was reading rants and jokes. It helped me to get through all that. I'm back now! Bless you devRant!
I'm glad that I shared this story with all of you, have an awesome day!16
I'm getting ridiculously pissed off at Intel's Management Engine (etc.), yet again. I'm learning new terrifying things it does, and about more exploits. Anything this nefarious and overreaching and untouchable is evil by its very nature.
(tl;dr at the bottom.)
I also learned that -- as I suspected -- AMD has their own version of the bloody thing. Apparently theirs is a bit less scary than Intel's since you can ostensibly disable it, but i don't believe that because spy agencies exist and people are power-hungry and corrupt as hell when they get it.
For those who don't know what the IME is, it's hardware godmode. It's a black box running obfuscated code on a coprocessor that's built into Intel cpus (all Intell cpus from 2008 on). It runs code continuously, even when the system is in S3 mode or powered off. As long as the psu is supplying current, it's running. It has its own mac and IP address, transmits out-of-band (so the OS can't see its traffic), some chips can even communicate via 3g, and it can accept remote commands, too. It has complete and unfettered access to everything, completely invisible to the OS. It can turn your computer on or off, use all hardware, access and change all data in ram and storage, etc. And all of this is completely transparent: when the IME interrupts, the cpu stores its state, pauses, runs the SMM (system management mode) code, restores the state, and resumes normal operation. Its memory always returns 0xff when read by the os, and all writes fail. So everything about it is completely hidden from the OS, though the OS can trigger the IME/SMM to run various functions through interrupts, too. But this system is also required for the CPU to even function, so killing it bricks your CPU. Which, ofc, you can do via exploits. Or install ring-2 keyloggers. or do fucking anything else you want to.
tl;dr IME is a hardware godmode, and if someone compromises this (and there have been many exploits), their code runs at ring-2 permissions (above kernel (0), above hypervisor (-1)). They can do anything and everything on/to your system, completely invisibly, and can even install persistent malware that lives inside your bloody cpu. And guess who has keys for this? Go on, guess. you're probably right. Are they completely trustworthy? No? You're probably right again.
There is absolutely no reason for this sort of thing to exist, and its existence can only makes things worse. It enables spying of literally all kinds, it enables cpu-resident malware, bricking your physical cpu, reading/modifying anything anywhere, taking control of your hardware, etc. Literal godmode. and some of it cannot be patched, meaning more than a few exploits require replacing your cpu to protect against.
And why does this exist?
Ostensibly to allow sysadmins to remote-manage fleets of computers, which it does. But it allows fucking everything else, too. and keys to it exist. and people are absolutely not trustworthy. especially those in power -- who are most likely to have access to said keys.
The only reason this exists is because fucking power-hungry doucherockets exist.26
I fried my laptop's lithium-ion battery by overheating it too much when gaming for 1.5 years now. Was only getting 20 minutes on a charge. Bought a replacement battery to install.
My laptop is full-body aluminum, and when removing the difficult-to-remove backplate, I sliced my thumb deeply on the razor-sharp internal edge of the backplate.
Hurt like hell. Took a while to get the bleeding to stop. I had to finish what I started, so I swore I'll be careful the rest of the time.
Yet somehow, my hand eventually slipped and I ended up slicing my OTHER thumb, on the exact same component! And the gash was even deeper and hurt even more! And took 3x as long to stop bleeding! I lost so much blood... 😫
Moral of the story: Be careful when dealing with full-body aluminum laptops. They're fucking evil and dangerous. Also, don't let your laptop reach temps above 82-85 degrees Celsius.
Thankfully, no tetanus from any of this. 😓25
Every single one of them, and every one that will come after them.
Google, it started out as 2 people in their garage, wanting to make a search engine that was better than the others. Nothing else, nothing evil. Just make the world a little bit better. And look what it's become now. A megacorporation with little to no regards for their user base. Because who cares about users anyway?
Microsoft, it started out with Bill Gates - young high school computer nerd - who wanted to make an operating system for the world to use. Something that's better than the competition. And boy did he do so. Well "better than the competition" aside, he did make it for the world to use. And the world adopted it. And look what it's become now. A megacorporation with little to no regards for their user base. Because who cares about users anyway?
See where I'm going here?
Apple, it started out with Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak in their garage, just like Google did, wanting to make hardware that was better than the others. Nothing else, nothing evil. Just to make the world a little bit better. And look what it's become now. Planned obsolescence has been baked into it, just like it is in every other piece of technology. Quality control and thinking through the design has become a thing of the past. User choice, yeah who cares about that.
Samsung, it started out centuries ago actually, and I don't really remember the details of it.. ColdFusion has a video on it if memory serves me right. Do watch it if you're interested. Anyway, just like all the others they started out as a company which wanted to make the world a little bit better. And damn right did they do so.. initially. Look what they've become now. Forcing their stupid TouchWiz UI upon their customers (or products?), a Bixby button that can't even be reprogrammed.. and the latest thing.. Knox, advertised as a security feature, but as everyone who likes rooting their devices and mucking with it knows, it is an anti-feature that only serves for lockdown. Why shouldn't you be able to turn in a phone for RMA when a hardware error occurs, when all you've personally modified is the software? Why should changing the software blow that eFuse, so that you can be sure that you can't replace it without specialized equipment and a very steady hand?
I could go on and on forever about more of the tech giants out there, but I feel like this suffices for now. Otherwise I won't have anything else left for future rants! But one thing I know for sure. Every tech company started, starts, and will start out with a desire to make the world a better place, and once they gain a significant customer base, they will without exception turn into the same kind of Evil Megacorp., just like the ones before them. Some may say that capitalism itself is to blame for this, the greed for more when you already have a lot. Who knows? I'd rather say that the very human nature itself is to blame for it. We're by design greedy beings, and I hate it. I hate being human for that. I don't want humans to be evil towards one another, and be greedy for ever more. But I guess that that's just the way it is, and some things do actually never change...20
*reads JSON license*
"The Software shall be used for Good, not Evil."
Well that's actually a nice license.. if only nuclear research etc could be licensed like that.
Wait actually.. WanBLowS is using XML for its "diagnostic data", right? I always found it so weird that they don't use JSON for that.. but I guess that this is why 🙃20
My new glasses are coming soon :)
Now I won't be as blind as a blindfolded grandmother inside a dark cave at night!
Everytime I code, my nose practically touches the screen, because even my mom's old glasses don't really help.
I can barley use Devrantron because of my blindness, but at least I can see well on mobile.
If you are wondering how my old ones broke, well, my little sister sat on them. That little demon, I love her, but she's pure evil.
Oh, and she did it on purpose btw. I asked her why and she said she wanted to know how it feels like to sit on glasses. She's not crazy, she's 6 years old lol.65
Story Time. Inspired by another rant.
Context: I'm In a coding camp years ago, it's the first day.
We're doing introductions (name, why you're here, etc). Always fun to do that....
The folks running the camp are excited to introduce a student who also at one point was a teacher for some sort of girl power coding organization. So this raises questions, why would someone who teaches be a student in this camp?? And even a bigger question is raised when this person introduces themselves for a long time, and as an aside puts down the girls she taught in this program they taught ... like who does that?
horribleLady does that ...
A few hours later horribleLady asks her 12th question of the day (we haven't even started talking about code). Before she asks her question actually says:
“I know, I’m going to be a problem.” -laugh-
🚨🚨🚨 ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ﾉ 🚨🚨🚨
Fast forward to group projects and she's this sort of emotional storm, tears, and a sort of angry shouting that isn't angry enough for some folks to say she's yelling at people ... but she is. Fortunately I'm not in the first group project with her, but because we're all working in the same room we all get to see the train-wreck unfold.
The moment she doesn't get something (all the time) everyone in her group has to STOP and figure out what they're going to do about it, then again STOP because she thinks someone is doing something different than what was planned. STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP.
In a way, everything had to go through her, she didn’t declare it that way, she didn't present herself as any sort of authority, she would just stop everyone the moment she thought anything was wrong, or she didn't understand it (all the time), and either inject herself or demand help from her team. Everyone around her had to be drawn into whatever problem she had. It was horrific to watch.
Private slack channels would light up like crazy with "OMG", "WTF", "I DON'T UNDERSTAND HER", "FUCK" and "SHE"S HOW OLD!?!?"
So finally it happens to me and guyWhoDoesPotConstantly (capable guy, nice dude, pretty sure he was high all the time).... we're teamed up to work with horribleLady. Thankfully for just one day. I accept this because I figure one day with her is enough penance to try to avoid any further contact later on.
My approach is straight stone face. I refuse to respond to her sulking, or sighing, or general emotional bait she throws out constantly. I saw other students unwittingly take her bait (they were trying to be helpful) only to have her crap all over them with her frustrations or whatever it is is going on.
Still we're teamed up with her her for the day so I'm going to be a good team member and I explain what guyWhoDoesPotConstantly and I are doing / trying.... and so forth. But she's just too upset that she's even assigned to work with us, and tells me I'm just not doing it right, and her explanations about how we're not doing it right makes less than 0 sense. I ask her to show me what she means but she won't type anything on her keyboard, she'd just talk about how she’s thinking conceptually in circles and sulk about it rather than listen. I don't respond to any of her shit and say "I'm going to try this." and guyWhoDoesPotConstantly and I just keep working.
She would later call the instructor over and complain to him for a while and say: "These guys just get it, they're not helping me, I want to be assigned to another group." She doesn't get her way so she just moves to another table in front of us.
After that day I figured it was a great time to ask .... to NEVER be assigned to anything with her because "If I told her what I thought it would just get a lot worse." I got my way ;)
Other students weren't so lucky. Tears, sulking, her special way of yelling at people that somehow never got her in trouble (she should have been kicked out of the program) just kept going on. She refused to even present one group project she deemed not good enough despite the fact that she contributed nothing functional to the project that the TA's didn't write for her...
Amidst the stories she would tell to students was one of how she sued her totally sexist/racist/evil former employer. She never said what came of it, but that combined with her inability to do things reminded me of a rant I read on here.
I sometimes fear being hired someplace and walking in my first day to find I'm assigned to work with .... horribleLady. In this scenario she managed to get hired and they're too afraid to fire her so they assign the new guy to work with horribleLady...
I've no idea what happened to her after the camp.
(I rewrote this rant a few times because it kept circling back to a larger story about the coding camp I wrote about a few years ago, so if this seemed sort of broken up and wonky, yeah it was / is / yeah)5
I get sucked in for 10 minutes through some news article, and my blood is boiling.
I think the platform does not even deserve to exist.
And I didn't think I would ever say that.
I used to be a staunch defender of the free & open internet, even with it's ugly and extreme sides, because I was convinced the good would outshine the evil.
I displayed the Pirate flag with pride on the mast outside of my house, I was intimately involved in the founding of their political party in my country. I was convinced of the power of the internet, I believed it would empower democracy and debate.
So why do simple tweets, even just the ones about technology, incite an endless stream of vile ultranationalist & misogynist hate?
How is it that those who are reasonable get drowned out?
That fucking character limit is a cancer.
The orator's wings are clipped. The richness of language is wilting before our eyes. All that remains are a bunch of caged chickens pecking every argument to death.
I will defend the right to free speech, even when it comes to the most disagreeable and controversial opinions.
But Twitter does not promote free speech. It's poison to free speech.
It's an endless torrent of non sequiturs, which constricts all reason and intellect. It replaces free speech by pretending to have equal value.
I really don't care if you are left or right, socialist or libertarian, globalist or nationalist.
You can argue to me that we should close all borders for immigrants, that Apple makes great products, that genocide has its pros, you could try to convince me that Heineken tastes acceptable (sorry AlexDeLarge), that Linux should be outlawed or that we should really try to bring this Eugenics thing back again.
Just be fucking rational -- and "Rationality implies the conformity of one's beliefs with one's reasons to believe"
You can NOT fit both your beliefs and their supporting reasons in 140 or even 280 characters.
So what's left is just your beliefs.
Stripped of all reason.
Repeat it often enough, keep spewing, keep throwing out incomplete arguments, and you'll train yourself to forego ratio in your convictions completely.
All social platforms should get a forced captcha for every spelling/grammar error, and a 1000 character minimum.
The world would be a slightly better place.6
I have seen it. They say it doesn't exist; just a story we tell our children so that their innocence does not lead them down into a nightmarish adulthood from which there is no salvation. But the evil lives. So vile that were you to look inside its soul, all you would find is a terrible desperation for suffering. To cause it. To revel in it. To bathe in the tears of those it considers less than human and feed off the emotional detritus.
It was 2009. The financial crisis. I was one of the lucky, having found refuge in a large company right before the jobs dried up. General IT: system administration, documentation, project management, telephony, software training, second level help desk. No software development, but with a two-year-old at home and Ph.D.s lining up outside the local Olive Garden whenever a help wanted sign was posted, I grabbed the health insurance and entered into darkness.
The Thing did not need to hunt it's prey. A manager title with 21 reports brought it new opportunities for fresh meat by the hour. But I was special. I resisted. I needed to know my place.
My first mistake was incomprehension. I did not understand the Thing's lust to be right at all costs. I was reviewing some documentation it had brought forth from its bowels. I mentioned that two spaces were being used between sentences. That proportional type made that unnecessary. It insisted, I was wrong. It insisted that Microsoft itself, the purveyor of all good technical writing, required two spaces. I opened the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications that it demanded its staff use and showed it that the spec was one space. It was livid. I was a problem.
From that point on my work life became exponentially more wretched. I was given three Outlook calendars to maintain: one with my schedule, one with the team's schedule and one with the Thing's schedule. Every time I had an appointment, I was to triple schedule it. If I was going to be away from my desk for more than 15 minutes triple schedule. Triple schedule my lunch, vacations, phone conferences.
Whenever it held a meeting, I and a colleague would be taken off mission critical IT projects to set tables with name tents and to serve as greeters as attendees arrived.
I was called into its crypt to be told never to say anything in a meeting unless I told the Thing beforehand what I was going to say. Naive, I mentioned that I often don't know what I will say as it is often in reply to someone else. Of course the response was that I should not say anything.
I would get emails 10-20 times a day asking about a single project. I would regularly complete work that was needed to be completed ASAP, only to have the Thing rake me over the coals for not completing it a week later. And upon resending the emails proving I notified it of the work being competed, disparaged at length a second time for not sending repeated notifications of the competed work.
I would have to sit in two-hour meetings to watch it type. Literally watch it try to create cogent thoughts. In silence.
I received horrendous annual reviews. At one, it created a development plan that stated a colleague would begin giving me lessons on the proper ways to socially interact with personnel. I pointed out to HR that this violated privacy concerns and would make the business liable in many areas, not least of which would be placing a help desk person in the role of defining proper business practice. HR made the Thing remove this from my review. She started planning to remove me.
I had given a short technical training to a group of personnel months earlier. Called into its tomb I was informed that feedback surveys on my talk were disturbing. One person stated that they did not think I was funny. Another wrote that I made an offensive statement. That person did not say what the offensive statement was. Just that I had said something he or she didn't like.
The Thing interviewed the training attendees. Gathered facts. Held three inquest-like meetings where multiple directors peppered me with questions trying to get me to confess to my offensiveness. In the end the request to fire me was brought to the man who ran the business at the time. The statement on high: "Humor is a subjective thing. Please tell This to be sensitive to that."
The Thing had failed, but would no doubt redouble its efforts. I had to find a new job. I sent hundreds of resumes. Talked to dozens of recruiters. But there were no jobs. And I had a family. And the wolf was at the door.
So I didn't say a word to the creature. For six months. Silence. At one group meeting it shrieked at me "what are you smirking at? If you've got something to say then say it!" I just shrugged. For my salvation was revealed. The Thing could not stand to be ignored. And at the end of my penance I was transferred to another group: Software Development.
I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.4
*logs out of Google on Android*
*has this persistent Google search bar on launcher which I keep on accidentally tapping*
Alright, so I'm not logged into Google to see how it goes. Kind of an experiment to see just how intertwined Android and my life are with Google. And it's going quite well actually, except for my prime apps that I can't seem to get around.
"We protect your data by keeping it secure!"
Hmm, yeah.. you and 3 letter agencies are keeping it secure and out of the hands of other individuals.. that makes sense.
Don't be evil.. unless you're the devil, right?
Fuck you, I won't login like this.
*accidentally opens Google*
*le trending results show up*
- KSI vs Logan Paul weigh-in!
- KSI vs Logan Paul Manchester!
- KSI vs Logan Paul arena fight!
*opens up NewPipe in which I am not logged in either*
- KSI vs Logan Paul!!!
- Did you see the KSI vs Logan Paul stuff yet?!
*logs back into Google straight away*
Personalized search engine.. many hate it, but boy do I fucking love it.4
I fucking hate holidays. Every goddamn time when it's a holiday, that's when I need to go to the store and get something, only to find out that they're closed. And what for.. holidays are - to me at least - no more than an excuse for people to not go to work for the day.
So, now I ran out of booze, and can't continue developing and testing my breathalyzer until Monday.
Then it hit me.. what if I take all my Arduino equipment (laptop, jumper wires, ...) to the café and deploy my build environment on a table there?
Eh, no no no. I don't want some idiot to come up to me saying "YOU EVIL HEKORMAN!!!" and have to explain that just like when you call a banker who's working with the money vaults a thief, it's wrong to call someone that's developing shit an evil hacker.. one should strive to not throw mindless accusations out of unknowingness. Not that I'm a good example of that though. But still.
It's probably that or some stupid bitch coming up to me asking to hack her boyfriend's Phasebuk.. that said, that could probably be an opportunity to get in her pants. But then, I don't wanna insert my meat in an idiot like that... ._.
So, no booze it is then? Thanks national holidays!
"Ok Google, remind me every day before a holiday because I really couldn't care less about them!!"16
Microsoft be like :
"Oh, you're moving away from your computer for a while with all this stuff open? It would a shame if some were to.. UPDATE it!"
It asks with a pop up, and if you don't answer it, it thinks "Oh, you're not telling me if I should update now or not, but I think you probably want me to update. UPDATE!"
For me, if I keep ignoring the update, it starts to create problems for me out of nowhere. It starts to lag and then the task manager starts to lag. EVERYTHING IS NOT RESPONDING.
When I finally update it, it acts like there were no issues at all. Everything is fine..
Even with Xbox, if it wants to update, it doesn't let you go online until you do. If it loses connection mid-update for some reason, it begins the update again from the friggin START. All that time updating gone to waste. Recently, I'm having a lot of issues with it. It doesn't let me sign in a lot of times. "We couldn't sign you in" for some reason. It JUST CAN'T. If you have a slow internet connection, you can't play any game at all. I contacted Microsoft Support about that issue and they concluded that it was all because of the slow internet connection and there were no issues on their end and they told me to GIT GOOD (Not exactly those words). If it does sign you in, it kicks you out mid-game for some reason with the evil pop up saying "Bye User_Name". The game says that YOU signed out (Dumb game, doesn't understand Microsoft shenanigans) and returns you to the main menu. If your game didn't save, well, GOOD luck to you!
Everything takes forever to load, if it decides it's not gonna load, it gives me a really helpful error saying "Something went wrong".
Maybe it's just me, it just hates me particularly. It makes me think that Microsoft intentionally acts like a douche just to get attention..
(In the end I think, maybe, this all is not a big deal if you surrender and accept Microsoft as your overlord)
I tried a few ways to stop Windows from updating automatically, but nothing worked (Maybe, I should try again).
Maybe I should dual boot Linux, but that brings a whole new set of things that I'd have to deal with, doesn't it?
Karma...you're the best.
An ex-team member was complaining to me about his manager reviewing his code. Shortened version of the convo:
Mgr: "Why didn't you use the new C# built-in extension methods?"
Dev: "No reason. I thought using the straight forward approach would be easier to maintain"
Ha!..you conceded, arrogant mother <bleep>er. How many times did I have to listen you berate other developers in code reviews for not using some random C# syntax sugar? Comments like "If you bothered to read the new C# 7.0 language specification like I did...you would have known not to use the string.Format anymore..."
Now you're pissed that the manager embarrassed you? How does it feel d-bag?
That's too evil...so I simply responded "I don't think Nick meant anything negative about your code, he's just trying to help."
Seeing him stir around all pissed off does make me giggle like a little schoolgirl.8
I think I broke my boyfriend or did I?
He used to be one of those travelers who posted scenic photos on Instagram. He likes connecting to people from different parts of the world. Now, he said he doesn't like what he sees and wants to disconnect. He started noticing things he used to ignore before like the shops, targeted ads, bugs, the goddamn tiktok clips, etc.
One day, we turned off our video during video call. He took a screenshot several minutes later and sent me a photo that it still showed our face. I don't know if he's trolling me or what but I'm pretty sure we'll both end up in the lunatic asylum at some point and I'm not complaining.
After all, I've seen him watch a Resident Evil gameplay with a pocket knife beside him. He said it was to cut a banana but I'll entertain myself and imagine it was PTSD from Warhammer necron-like zombies from Afghanistan.16
So... Some fake accounts on Twitter claimed to be Elon Musk and to give shitloads of Bitcoin to those who sent a little amount first. They stole... Wait for it... 180 grand.
That's basically your everyday 419 scam. Existing since before the internet, done with the names of Gates, Buffet, Bush, Obama...
They say "the big bad evil criminals and the poor little innocent victims" I say natural selection. Sorry, in those lion vs gazelle scenarios I always thought that it was fair, no matter how it went.
Just when did humanity get so brainless? Have we always been, is the internet just a catalyst for stupidity?
Just why the fuck must I be an infosec sheepdog instead of a wolf? Man, I could live the life, drink beer and smoke herb while working... Get up at 12, don't give a shit, no boss, no taxes, no social security payments that I don't see jack shit from, and the pay would be better to.
Can someone explain to me why the fuck I should even care about the fact, that some companies collect, use and sell my data? I'm not famous, I'm not a politician and I'm not a criminal, I think most of us aren't and won't ever be. We aren't important. So what is this whole bullshittery all about? I seriously don't get it and I find it somewhat weird that especially tech guys and IT "experts" in the media constantly just make up these overly creepy scenarios about big unsafe data collecting companies "stealing" your "private" information. Welcome to the internet, now get the fuck over it or just don't be online. It's your choice, not their's.
I honestly think, some of these "security" companies and "experts" are just making this whole thing bigger than it actually is, because it's a damn good selling point. You can tell people that your app is safe and they'll believe you and buy your shit app because they don't understand and don't care what "safe" or "unsafe" means in this context. They just want to be secure against these "evil monster" companies. The same companies, which you portrayed them as "evil" and "unfair" and "mean" and "unrepentant" for over a decade now.
Just stop it now. All your crappy new "secure" messenger apps have failed awesomely. Delete your life now, please. This isn't about net neutrality or safety on the internet. This is all about you, permanently exaggerating about security and permanently training people to be introverted paranoid egoistic shit people so that they buy your elitist bullshit software.
Sorry for my low english skills, but please stop to exist, thank you.65
Mozilla executive claims that Google has made YouTube slower on Edge and Firefox ... what a surprise /s
"don't be evil"
"Google Removes 'Don't Be Evil' Clause From Its Code of Conduct"
I'm coming off a lengthy staff augmentation assignment awful enough that I feel like I need to be rehabilitated to convince myself that I even want to be a software developer.
They needed someone who does .NET. It turns out what they meant was someone to copy and paste massive amounts of code that their EA calls a "framework." Just copy and paste this entire repo, make a whole ton of tweaks that for whatever reason never make their way back into the "template," and then make a few edits for some specific functionality. And then repeat. And repeat. Over a dozen times.
The code is unbelievable. Everything is stacked into giant classes that inherit from each other. There's no dependency inversion. The classes have default constructors with a comment "for unit testing" and then the "real" code uses a different one.
It's full of projects, classes, and methods with weird names that don't do anything. The class and method names sound like they mean something but don't. So after a dozen times I tried to refactor, and the EA threw a hissy fit. Deleting dead code, reducing three levels of inheritance to a simple class, and renaming stuff to indicate what it does are all violations of "standards." I had to go back to the template and start over.
This guy actually recorded a video of himself giving developers instructions on how to copy and paste his awful code.
Then he randomly invents new "standards." A class that reads messages from a queue and processes them shouldn't process them anymore. It should read them and put them in another queue, and then we add more complication by reading from that queue. The reason? We might want to use the original queue for something else one day. I'm pretty sure rewriting working code to meet requirements no one has is as close as you can get to the opposite of Agile.
I fixed some major bugs during my refactor, and missed one the second time after I started over. So stuff actually broke in production because I took points off the board and "fixed" what worked to add back in dead code, variables that aren't used, etc.
In the process, I asked the EA how he wanted me to do this stuff, because I know that he makes up "standards" on the fly and whatever I do may or may not be what he was imagining. We had a tight deadline and I didn't really have time to guess, read his mind, get it wrong, and start over. So we scheduled an hour for him to show me what he wanted.
He said it would take fifteen minutes. He used the first fifteen insisting that he would not explain what he wanted, and besides he didn't remember how all of the code he wrote worked anyway so I would just have to spend more time studying his masterpiece and stepping through it in the debugger.
Being accountable to my team, I insisted that we needed to spend the scheduled hour on him actually explaining what he wanted. He started yelling and hung up. I had to explain to management that I could figure out how to make his "framework" work, but it would take longer and there was no guarantee that when it was done it would magically converge on whatever he was imagining. We totally blew that deadline.
When the .NET work was done, I got sucked into another part of the same project where they were writing massive 500 line SQL stored procedures that no one could understand. They would write a dozen before sending any to QA, then find out that there was a scenario or two not accounted for, and rewrite them all. And repeat. And repeat. Eventually it consisted of, one again, copying and pasting existing procedures into new ones.
At one point one dev asked me to help him test his procedure. I said sure, tell me the scenarios for which I needed to test. He didn't know. My question was the equivalent of asking, "Tell me what you think your code does," and he couldn't answer it. If the guy who wrote it doesn't know what it does right after he wrote it and you certainly can't tell by reading it, and there's dozens of these procedures, all the same but slightly different, how is anyone ever going to read them in a month or a year? What happens when someone needs to change them? What happens when someone finds another defect, and there are going to be a ton of them?
It's a nightmare. Why interview me with all sorts of questions about my dev skills if the plan is to have me copy and paste stuff and carefully avoid applying anything that I know?
The people are all nice except for their evil XEB (Xenophobe Expert Beginner) EA who has no business writing a line of code, ever, and certainly shouldn't be reviewing it.
I've tried to keep my sanity by answering stackoverflow questions once in a while and sometimes turning evil things I was forced to do into constructive blog posts to which I cannot link to preserve my anonymity. I feel like I've taken a six-month detour from software development to shovel crap. Never again. Lesson learned. Next time they're not interviewing me. I'm interviewing them. I'm a professional.9
Adapted for DevRant from my Reddit account, u/vzen
Hello world, I'm an aging code monkey. [...] I have a confession to make.
One of the most common things folks like me do is ask each other questions. So we have sites like StackOverflow, mailing lists, chats, etc. These all have the same problem: New users who don't do their own research before asking the same goddamn question that's been answered a thousand times before. Working in a support context is a crazy, often thankless job, and you can't be asked to spend hours on people's problems when the solution is next to them, and they'd see it if they bothered to look.
But hold on.
Do you feel that contempt in my writing? Like I'd grit my teeth if I said it?
I think that mindset is wrong, it's unfair of me to have it, and I want to be better at controlling it. I actively have to push that feeling down when trying to be supportive of the new and the returning.
It's not right for me or us to resent some genuinely curious person who came in with a perfectly innocent question. But why would I feel that way? I got to thinking and realized that's basically how I "grew up" as a developer. When I was new, I got a BIG dose of "feedback" that I had to "take" all the time, in all holes. On the one hand I'd like to say that the "do-your-homework-or-don't-even-speak" culture made me better at asking questions, but that's the same rationalization stand-up comedians give for their parents hitting them. It also gives you a kind of Stockholm Syndrome where you feel oddly attracted to the same brainwashed personalities. I think that's why I can't quit Reddit even though almost all of you want to start an argument out of THIN AIR! You may as well "TA-DA!" when you start antagonizing.
I'm just saying: No Paul, your survivor bias doesn't make hitting your kid a parenting technique. And just because you were left unsupervised on Newgrounds.com for too much of your childhood doesn't mean you can shit all over this poor little developer! Maybe when you've been hurt, that made you appreciate love more, so you somehow twist that into these cross-eyed dogshit moral fantasies where punching your only infant son in the face will make him love and thank you. I already see what he's going to do when he gets bigger. It's in his eyes, man.
If you AREN'T a stereotypical nerd (or even if you are), you know the kind of toxicity I'm talking about. If you don't know what I'm on about and think I'm meandering off the point like a drunk, then bear with me: You remember talking to an Alpha Pedant, right? Maybe you spoke to the classic Grammar Nazi who makes a snide remark for Every! Single! Grammatical! Error! including my use of those exclamation points just now. Oh! Or maybe you've spoken to the scraggly-beard contrarian who will take everything you say literally, because his moral barometer is the law of supply and demand.
You know, those pricks.
Those personality types are my peers, even across workplaces. I am ashamed.
If you walk in as a beginner in some of my circles with a "hw doI shot web"-level question, you'll be treated like you just tracked mud. And not enough people are calling us out for it. I'm much better about it today because I give praise openly, and criticism only when asked (this post nonwithstanding). I'd like to think that enough of us has learned that to make for a welcoming community, but maybe that's a question better suited for the one woman in a techbro startup.
StackOverflow in particular has so many rules and nuances on how to ask a question and whether it can be considered a question that they have a whole "meta" site dedicated to how to interpret it all. Some years back XDA Developers did a funny video that captures the attitude you will actually encounter in developer communities: https://youtube.com/watch/...
But even if you have a thick skin, and you are still expected to read the many, MANY rules of technical forums diligently. And you know what? Not everyone can be asked! I HATE it when a new developer comes in with a valid question that's hasn't been answered before, but it broke clause (i) of subsection blappity fap.
Yeah, ignorance of the law isn't an excuse, but even the most evil cops know that no one memorizes a legal code. How about YOU just paste the answer from the documents you find so conveniently easy to reference, Mr. Moderator! Because if you make me read another sticky about how the users are ruining the life you so generously signed up for, I will give your wife everything she didn't have to settle for tonight. She already consented, too. Like, you gave her a drought, dude.
This isn't going to go anywhere just because I want people to be nicer. Even though I'm just as much of a prick as the peers who made me. Even though I know we're supposed to see "people being nicer" as a puppy-dog's dream.
I love people. But I hate what programmers turned me into.14
Voting feels like shit.
Seriously. Why? Because I have to vote for parties and representatives that might have one interest in common with me but go against my points of view almost all of the time. "We'll introduce a freedom of information act and legalize weed for better drug policy and youth protection!" -- WOW Great I'll vote for yo .. " ...and we'll also come to your home kill your dog, rape your family and shit in your back yard." -- oh f*** WHY? why do I have to live in a system were I am constantly forced to trade shit for even worse shit? Why can't I vote for policies or at least some kind of 'single' - issue representative?
I know that solving this problem is not easy and I do not claim to have the magical solution. "Not voting is even worse" sure but I am getting so fucking tired of it. It doesn't feel like progression and it sure as hell does not feel like it matters because in the end of the day you are just voting for the party that's at least going to use lube when raping you. I hate these ad hominem politics where we don't discuss the ideas but the people who represent them. I honestly don't give a fuck about who you are, if you're gay, married, or are left-wing, right-wing, conservative or liberal, in the end its about finding a good solution for everyone and not about the people implementing it. I don't care about politicians private lifes or worldviews (in terms of ideals, morals, religion etc.) , I care about finding the solutions to problems and having a wide array of opinions in order to discuss ideas and to find a valid and good way to go forward. "you can't agree with that person at all, because he's evil", yeah you know what? I don't care. It's about the ideas, arguments, discussions and solutions, not about the people who discuss them.
"I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I
screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me...
Or feels threatened by me...
Or thinks I'm a smart ass...
Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike."60
I'm looking forward to natural language programming.
The ability to code by explaining what you want to happen and having a neural network work out the fine details in an optimal fashion with evolutionary techniques.
I look forward to the super AI. I don't think they will necessarily be evil, however above a certain point we would seem like ants to them... And when was the last time you checked if there was an ant where you were to put your foot? It's not malicious... It's just not worth your or their time.35
I wrote a node + vue web app that consumes bing api and lets you block specific hosts with a click, and I have some thoughts I need to post somewhere.
My main motivation for this it is that the search results I've been getting with the big search engines are lacking a lot of quality. The SEO situation right now is very complex but the bottom line is that there is a lot of white hat SEO abuse.
Commercial companies are fucking up the internet very hard. Search results have become way too profit oriented thus unneutral. Personal blogs are becoming very rare. Information is losing quality and sites are losing identity. The internet is consollidating.
So, I decided to write something to help me give this situation the middle finger.
I wrote this because I consider the ability to block specific sites a basic universal right. If you were ripped off by a website or you just don't like it, then you should be able to block said site from your search results. It's not rocket science.
Google used to have this feature integrated but they removed it in 2013. They also had an extension that did this client side, but they removed it in 2018 too. We're years past the time where Google forgot their "Don't be evil" motto.
AFAIK, the only search engine on earth that lets you block sites is millionshort.com, but if you block too many sites, the performance degrades. And the company that runs it is a for profit too.
There is a third party extension that blocks sites called uBlacklist. The problem is that it only works on google. I wrote my app so as to escape google's tracking clutches, ads and their annoying products showing up in between my results.
But aside uBlacklist does the same thing as my app, including the limitation that this isn't an actual search engine, it's just filtering search results after they are generated.
This is far from ideal because filter results before the results are generated would be much more preferred.
But developing a search engine is prohibitively expensive to both index and rank pages for a single person. Which is sad, but can't do much about it.
I'm also thinking of implementing the ability promote certain sites, the opposite to blocking, so these promoted sites would get more priority within the results.
I guess I would have to move the promoted sites between all pages I fetched to the first page/s, but client side.
But this is suboptimal compared to having actual access to the rank algorithm, where you could promote sites in a smarter way, but again, I can't build a search engine by myself.
I'm using mongo to cache the results, so with a click of a button I can retrieve the results of a previous query without hitting bing. So far a couple of queries don't seem to bring much performance or space issues.
On using bing: bing is basically the only realiable API option I could find that was hobby cost worthy. Most microsoft products are usually my last choice.
Bing is giving me a 7 day free trial of their search API until I register a CC. They offer a free tier, but I'm not sure if that's only for these 7 days. Otherwise, I'm gonna need to pay like 5$.
Paying or not, having to use a CC to use this software I wrote sucks balls.
So far the usage of this app has resulted in me becoming more critical of sites and finding sites of better quality. I think overall it helps me to become a better programmer, all the while having better protection of my privacy.
One not upside is that I'm the only one curating myself, whereas I could benefit from other people that I trust own block/promote lists.
I will git push it somewhere at some point, but it does require some more work:
I would want to add a docker-compose script to make it easy to start, and I didn't write any tests unfortunately (I did use eslint for both apps, though).
The performance is not excellent (the app has not experienced blocks so far, but it does make the coolers spin after a bit) because the algorithms I wrote were very POC.
But it took me some time to write it, and I need to catch some breath.
There are other more open efforts that seem to be more ethical, but they are usually hard to use or just incomplete.
commoncrawl.org is a free index of the web. one problem I found is that it doesn't seem to index everything (for example, it doesn't seem to index the blog of a friend I know that has been writing for years and is indexed by google).
it also requires knowledge on reading warc files, which will surely require some time investment to learn.
it also seems kinda slow for responses,
it is also generated only once a month, and I would still have little idea on how to implement a pagerank algorithm, let alone code it.4
Google's slogan is (was?) "don't be evil" but all of their new MD apps are blindingly white light themes!
Retinas?, no don't need them. Thanks Google.20
Me as a mobile app developer trying to add a button to a page of a .Net website:
So, what do i need to do?
Aaand... take care of new js features and css features. Most browsers don't support them. Those cool C#7 features you love so much... not in this project. Our build servers don't support C#7. Those new features are evil anyway.
Everyone talks about crappy categories of user on Stackoverflow - help vampires, rep whores, etc. - but the category of "people who don't care about the stupid mind games, politics or internet points and just want to help others" is so small people apparently don't even think it can exist.
I mean sheesh, I answer on there in my free time to just lend a hand to people, usually in a couple of niche tags that have very little info elsewhere, even for beginners. Of course there's questions that are beyond salvaging and just random homework dumps, but the majority are from genuinely confused users who simply don't know the correct terms to search for.
A question is not inherently evil just because its asker has misunderstood a key concept.
I'm not even asking you to help the poor sods, I'm just asking you to allow me to help without calling me a rep whore or a moron who'd be better talking to bots on reddit 🙄3
Really getting into Rust. It has taught me so many things.
1. Null is evil
2. Sum types are amazing
3. Compiler can actually have good error output
4. Multi threading is actually really scary if you don't have a compiler to back you up
I had to deal with SSIS. It has also taught me many things:
1. No matter how 'mature' a product is, it can be awful. Simply dump a random error code, the user can figure out what went wrong, no need for good error messages.
2. The modern concept of the database is crap. It's a gigantic global state that is used by everyone and owned by no one.
3. Don't use tools that aren't made to be used with version control.
4. Even when you tell your team that it's bad, you will be ignored.
I have started using the input lockout when supporting colleagues.
The phrase "don't touch anything" must be code for "close all my windows"
Last one actually rebooted her machine in the middle of a (manager requested) intervention...
I got some very strange looks in the office to my "good afternoon, I'm calling to inform you that you will need to speak to HR to reinstate your credentials as I have accidentally marked you as a leaver while doing some database maintenance, I'll transfer you now, please hold" phone call, especially as we don't actually have access to do that lol
I put her on hold to myself while I finished then advised that "I'm sorry HR are busy, but I've managed to undo the mistake anyway, my apologies"
Kept her away from the machine so it was lawful evil right?1
Yesterday, i had to use neovim for a task on my friend's laptop. There was no WiFi and I couldn't install Emacs. This guy uses Vim a lot. He recently moved to neovim from vim. He had some Ruby codes going. I had to debug some codes(performance issues). I was reluctant to work on it but i had to. After looking at some keybindings and the plugins that guy had written, using vim was pleasure. It was fast. I could shoot up multiple terminals work on that and was instant. I wrote some plugins to indent my code which worked as it's supposed to. I used spacemacs(as it's configured properly) Emacs but there is some load time on spacemacs and there are some issues shooting up multiple spacemacs on terminals. I had just configured and started using prelude which is beautiful Emacs configuration and is fast.
After using neovim that day something hit me that i had blindly had faith in Emacs without using Vim and i use Emacs only for text editing task and terminal. I don't use it for listening music, browser and other task i can always use modern browsers and Spotify for that. Modern browsers and music players are amazing and using those in Emacs there is always a lack of functionality and UI.(modern people don't use those i think and some Emacs users i know use stripped down version of Emacs i.e. microemacs or XEmacs.
I know vi is present by default on every Linux distribution. That keybindings are same as vim and it can be configured so, it is useful for embedded devices and system architecture. I love terminals and love working on tty. That's why i guess i felt instantly tempted to keep on using vim and i loved it's performance. I checked on evil layer before but there are some issues with evil layer in Emacs like it isn't too efficient like vim. I love lisp though and clojure can be edited nicely in Vim.
Is this sin against the church of Emacs? Should i join vi vi vi? I have already dedicated my life on Emacs (check my bio). Am i tempted by the devil?4
After following the recent events and announcements, I'm thinking
Is Google seriously turning into an AI overload..?
What happened to "Don't be Evil"..?6
I've been working for a company as freelancer for almost a year now .
Anyway 4 to 5 months ago I've finished what I was supposed to do and the CEO called me to help him finish a project . This project took way more then it's suppose to be (more then 2 years instead of 6 month) and this is because it was designed and written by the devil himself as the most evil thing on earth. Adding to that the constant demands and changes given by the client kept this project always in a mess. When I agreed to help they gave me a list of the remaining tasks, just finish them and we're done .
A month and a half later , we've had a meeting with the client to present what I thought was the last version of the project , and as usual he kept on adding changes and new features .
Another month later I completed those changes and told the company I'll be quitting working with you because I found other opportunities .They told me we'll just do this last meeting and we're done . But guess what ? BINGO same fucking thing happens but this time with big changes and the client wants it in like 2 to 3 weeks.
Now the CEO is begging me to complete these tasks before leaving (because he won't get the final check if I don't ) and on the other hand I've got a lot of the other work to do and it's really hard to setup a schedule for everything .2
Nearly same time as the "don't be evil" got removed from google pages, an old internal video leaked about some futuristic concept, where the AI would try to gather as much data as possible from a user and if not possible, suggest devices with discount (e.g. a scale), that can return that data to the AI or if there's no fitting product, just print or make it based on the previously collected data (favorite color, ..) and suggest that to the user to buy, all since google duplex, anything mentioning google has been outscoring the previous idea 😶
These ignorant comments about arch are starting to get on my nerves.
You ranted or asked help about something exclusive to windows and someone pointed out they don't have that problem in arch and now you're annoyed?
Well maybe it's for good.
Next comes a very rough analogy, but imagine if someone posts "hey guys, I did a kg of coke and feeling bad, how do I detox?"
It takes one honest asshole to be like "well what if you didn't do coke?".
Replace the coke with windows.
Windows is a (mostly) closed source operating system owned by a for profit company with a very shady legal and ethical history.
What on earth could possibly go wrong?
Oh you get bsod's?
The system takes hours to update whenever the hell it wants, forces reboot and you can't stop it?
oh you got hacked because it has thousands of vulnerabilities?
wannacry on outdated windows versions paralyzed the uk health system?
oh no one can truly scrutinize it because it's closed source?
yet you wonder why people are assholes when you mention it? This thing is fucking cancer, it's hundreds of steps backwards in terms of human progress.
and one of the causes for its widespread usage are the savage marketing tactics they practiced early on. just google that shit up.
but no, linux users are assholes out to get you.
and how do people react to these honest comments? "let's make a meme out of it. let's deligitimize linux, linux users and devs are a bunch of neckbeards, end of story, watch this video of rms eating skin off his foot on a live conference"
short minded idiots.
I'm not gonna deny the challenges or limitations linux represents for the end user.
It does take time to learn how to use it properly.
Nvidia sometimes works like shit.
Tweaking is almost universally required.
A huge amount of games, or Adobe/Office/X products are not compatible.
The docs can be very obscure sometimes (I for one hate a couple of manpages)
But you get a system that:
* Boots way faster
* Is way more stable
* Is way way way more secure.
* Is accountable, as in, no chance to being forced to get exploited by some evil marketing shit.
In other words, you're fucking free.
You can even create your own version of the system, with total control of it, even profit with it.
I'm not sure the average end user cares about this, but this is a developer forum, so I think in all honesty every developer owes open source OS' (linux, freebsd, etc) major respect for being free and not being corporate horseshit.
Doctors have a hippocratic oath? Well maybe devs should have some form of oath too, some sworn commitment that they will try to improve society.
I do have some sympathy for the people that are forced to use windows, even though they know ideally isn't the ideal moral choice.
As in, their job forces it, or they don't have time or energy to learn an alternative.
At the very least, if you don't know what you're talking about, just stfu and read.
But I don't have one bit of sympathy for the rest.
I didn't even talk about arch itself.
Holy fucking shit, these people that think arch is too complicated.
What in the actual fuck.
I know what the problem is, the arch install instructions aren't copy paste commands.
Or they medium tutorial they found is outdated.
So yeah, the majority of the dev community is either too dumb or has very strong ADD to CAREFULLY and PATIENTLY read through the instructions.
I'll be honest, I wouldn't expect a freshman to follow the arch install guide and not get confused several times.
But this is an intermediate level (not megaexpert like some retards out there imply).
Yet arch is just too much. That's like saying "omg building a small airplane is sooooo complicated". Yeah well it's a fucking aerial vehicle. It's going to be a bit tough. But it's nowhere near as difficult as building a 747.
So because some devs are too dumb and talk shit, they just set the bar too low.
Or "if you try to learn how to build a plane you'll grow an aviator neckbeard". I'll grow a fucking beard if I want too.
I'm so thankful for arch because it has a great compromise between control and ease of install and use.
When I have a fresh install I only get *just* what I fucking need, no extra bullshit, no extra programs I know nothing about or need running on boot time, and that's how I boot way faster that ubuntu (which is way faster than windows already).
Configuring nvidia optimus was a major pain in the ass? Sure was, but I got it work the way I wanted to after some time.
Upgrading is also easy as pie, so really scratching my brain here trying to understand the real difficult of using arch.22
[DISCLAIMER : Potential Troll Topic here] I am self taught python and js (not considering myself as a real developer as I don't push much on github and work in a complete other field than anything related to CS right now) and would be interested to learn another language, with another paradigm. So, as I love you all, I would be interested In your highlights as I am currently considering either C, C++, Rust or Go.
with C, I know I could interface it with python. With C++ (despite Linus considering it evil) I know I could interface it with Node. I don't know currently what to do with Go, but some people seem really enthusiastic about it (not really relevant I know) and Rust seems like the C of today, with a bunch of new cool kid stuff. My main goal, after all, is to learn something new, to have another sight on programming. Either understanding more about hardware or learning another way of coding (like different from oop).
I know it sounds like a troll, but I promise it's not, just a serious genuine question (hopefully it won't be closed here like on SO)
So what do you think devranters ?
Being eternally grateful to all of you, I wish you a good night.10
I am a good person. I can even say I am a good programmer. I have worked hard to get where I am and that shows perseverance. Although, where I am right now is not what I expected, I am somewhere. I can do something. I have good intentions.
Someday, I will build software which will be used by millions of people around the interwebs. And they will love me, for I will have made their lives better....in some way. Some will even consider paying me for it. Not because the well placed and non intrusive donate button I put there, but out of pure adoration and bare necessity to preserve someone as brilliant and precious as me. I shall be the definition of success. But I long for neither adoration nor wealth, for I am humble or at least that is how I will be perceived.
Like flies to the honey my success will attract big evil corporations to acquire my business. And I shall spit on their wretched face....at first. I would like to be wooed. Such display of integrity shall inspire generations of programmers. Let ye be inspired. There will be those who envy my achievements and they will be mocked and shunned by my true believers. But being the kind soul that I am, I will bring back my minions, for it could a PR nightmare.
All these events will take place in a not too distant future. Sure, I am going through a dark time now, it will pass. 'tis nothing but me transitioning from a lame ass PHP coder moth to this totally badass software engineer who is also a cool bro. This eclipse of my brain shall pass. My neurons will fire in all directions like photons from the sun during late winter, for it may overheat and we definitely don't want that.
I pray to the gods of engineering to grant my wishes. Trust me guys, you will be thanking yourselves when donate my money to charities that will help me set up. But that's another scheme. Amen.4
Remember that one day someone says "lets make a game about a fat italian guy that save the princess from the evil big monkey by jumping some barrels and a hammer".
Do not be afraid of your own ideas, you always miss the shots that you don't take.1
Sadly I just had to switch to android, I was in a shop and a notification popup: "Are you enjoying this shop? share some comment, picture, review...) ... the notification was from google maps, it was the latest google app to be disabled, now there is only play store. google account is used only for the play store... fun facts that most of people complains about windows 10 telemetry, but almost nobody complains about "don't be evil" google9
Just having a thought that might label me as "stupid" into the eyes of an anonymous community, but whatever.
I hate money. I don't like the fact that it is the new god, the sole motivator, the sole distinction between successful and failure, and the only way to achieve happiness.We as a living being have come so far into getting entangled to just green chits of paper.
I don't know man, maybe i haven't seen much money to be really wanting it . My family has always been not very wealthy, i was often told to "adjust", but after a while that doesn't sounded like a bad option.
Maybe i am too lazy, but in the past few weeks , when i was working from home in my internships , or simply learning new things, i would stand up after 2-3 hours and go sit with my mom, or she would just yell from her room to get milk from the store, .. and that felt satisfying.. being with family, doing chores other than work.
I clearly remember my horrible internship experience.. wake up at 7 , reach office at 9 , burn your brain in front of screen for 9-10 hrs while being in a constant pressure of doing stuff fast, checking out at 8 , reaching home at 10, eating , shitting and back to sleep.
Like why do i want money? to get happiness. Am i happy? fucking no. Your experiences might be better, but this is the way it is: get money somehow and buy your happiness.
Imagine a world with no money. You are free to do whatever you want, you can have whatever you want, you can ask others to provide services they usually provide , and they would, and likewise from your side.
looks like a stupid vision, right? "Why would Someone do anything for free?Why would 'I' do anything for free for anyone?" i can't give you of practical examples(coz this vision is already hypothetical) , but i believe there won't be long before you would accept to do work if money is not the driving factor, out of sheer boredom or curiosity. I believe its like Eating free Pizzas forever, how long before you get fed up of eating that fat and rather hitting the gym?
Similarly you won't be really liking to not do anything if money is not a motivator. and if you do, evolution would probably handle you by making you extinct. This is usually the dream of most people "To earn so much that one day we will have a nice home, we will be focusing on our health, doing good deeds", etc . So why not now?
(damn i have started to sound like some priest or baba, let me say some fuckoffs and window sucks , fuck apple stuff to be back into the reality)
Money just brings the negativity with itself. Even the 2nd richest man in the world is accused of using mal-practices in his 20s to achieve the wealth he is using so positively today. did money really brought you a good image for everyone? probably not.
I have to usually think between applying for jobs, to decide my worth. "No i shouldn't be applying for a job paying $20/h, i am worth $200/h" why? why can't i just go for a work that is more interesting and not care about the fact that if am not paid enough, i might loose the opportunity to be happy?
People kill for money, they demean for money, they hate each other for money, when its just a dead piece of paper. likewise they die with absence of money, they die due to excess of money, they buy happiness due to money, why?
I can think of 100s of examples where money is the root-cause of evil. The best one i find in the recent netflix series i watched : narcos . A guy sells coke to the whole wide world to buy happiness for him and his family . He also distributes his money among a particular poor village which ends up getting better due to his deeds and everyone there treats him like a god.
money fucks this story.
- "why a guy needs to sell poison to others?" >> to earn money.
- "why" ? because he deserve happiness.
- "So is he bad now?" Not really because he also donated his money to poor
- "why ?" because others also deserved to be happy and maybe because he also felt bad for selling poison.
- "So is he good person now?" um..16
Who the fuck thought that carieer grade NAT would be a great solution instead of just switching over to IPv6 and have functioning internet?
I don't want to share my IP with some bastard who fails every reCaptcha so that pictures take 5 fucking seconds for me to fade out and in again.
Neither Chrome nor Firefox have a reliable way of forcing IPv6 if possible so Google still thinks I'm an evil bot.
I'm waiting for my PayPal to be frozen because of "suspicious actions from 'my' internet connection".
I don't want to share my IP. I want to be responsible myself for everything that happens to it.
Please replace that old switches that are too slow to manage serious traffic anyway and are just wasting their power for being turned on so that I can have an IP address to myself2
The dangers of PHP eval()
Yup. "Scary, you better make use of include instead" — I read all the time everywhere. I want to hear good case scenarios and feel safe with it.
I use the eval() method as a good resource to build custom website modules written in PHP which are stored and retrieved back from a database. I ENSURED IS SAFE AND CAN ONLY BE ALTERED THROUGH PRIVILEGED USERS. THERE. I SAID IT. You could as well develop a malicious module and share it to be used on the same application, but this application is just for my use at the moment so I don't wanna worry more or I'll become bald.
I had to take out my fear and confront it in front of you guys. If i had to count every single time somebody mentions on Stack Overflow or the comments over PHP documentation about the dangers of using eval I'd quit already.
Tell me if I'm wrong: in a safe environment and trustworthy piece of code is it OK to execute eval('?>'.$pieceOfCode); ... Right?
The reason I store code on the database is because I create/edit modules on the web editor itself.
I use my own coded layers to authenticate a privileged user: A single way to grant access to admin functions through a unique authentication tunnel granting so privileged user to access the editor or send API requests, custom htaccess rules to protect all filesystem behind the domain root path, a custom URI controller + SSL. All this should do the trick to safely use the damn eval(), is that right?!
Unless malicious code is found on the code stored prior to its evaluation.
But FFS, in such scenario, why not better fuck up the framework filesystem instead? Is one password closer than the database.
I will need therapy after this. I swear.
If 'eval is evil' (as it appears in the suggested tags for this post) how can we ensure that third party code is ever trustworthy without even looking at it? This happens already with chrome extensions, or even phone apps a long time after reaching to millions of devices.11
Through life, I've heard some people say horror movies are bad, that they promote violence (usually religious people).
Of course I think that's pure bs, but I think I could provide one argument that is hard to deny, so here it goes, although I might go off rails at the end.
I'll preface with this: life itself is violent. Violence, the word, is mostly used to describe immoral inflictions of harm on other beings.
But you can also say that some deaths are violent by themselves too, event those that weren't caused by humans, like a disease or a natural disaster.
This would be the "visual" meaning of the word, "the way it looks", the shock of humans when observing something gruesome/violent.
That described, it's not hard to also think that technological advancements in modern western life has made such observations of violence very unfrequent for people.
And naturally, modern people get accustomed to the lack of these observations. So accustomed that when they happen they become traumatic.
Because of this, people react weirdly to death. One reaction is censoring the topic. Another reaction is trivializing it, as if it doesn't really matter.
Sometimes they can't even accept old people dying at 90, an awfully stupid reaction in my opinion.
Another interesting reaction is personifying diseases as if they were villains ruining lives intentionally.
Or at least that's what it feels until you look at them through a microscope and realize that diseases aren't more evil than bread changing flavour after toasting.
All of these irrationality and cowardice comes from low exposure to violence, and that's where horror movies balance things out.
Some diseases in the real life can put some of the worst horror movies to shame.
The human body itself is pending violence. Why? Because when you die all sort of worms eat your fucking flesh. And sometimes that happens even before you die.
We bury humans because of the diseases corpses transmit, but also because we don't like the spectacle and the aesthetics of the rotting process.
Just picture for a second bad things happening to your body, and if you feel that is making you too uncomfortable, then maybe you got too used to this too.
I think horror movies help us to remember the reality of our inminent and intrinsic violence.
In ancient times, you would live outdoors, stepping on dirt, and be very used to "bad" things happening to humans.
Nowadays, most homes are sterile clean, and it's unlikely to observe violence.
Oh, some family member is pucking blood and dying from something? Send em to a hospital, or an elderly care center. Don't need to witness that!
I understand and accept grief. What I don't understand or accept is the vilification of death, describing it as something wrong that shouldn't happen.
it almost feels like a burden, like you shouldn't die when you're young, that it's an unforgivable thing to happen.
Well thanks, society, you can't even fucking die in peace.
I would love to die (no suicide) in a mildly celebratory way, watching people around me smile. I think that would be a good ending for me.
But no. Most of my relatives would be fucking crying like the chickenshits they are, ruining it for me.
And that scares the shit out me: people usually say the scary part of dying is that they die alone.
Well that's what dying alone would mean to me: watching people cry instead of smiling at me.
When my grandma died at 80, with all the achievements she made, I considered her death a success, also considering how quick it was. And because of that I didn't mourn for too long.
In fact, I don't even consider her dead, and not because of some religious mumbo jumbo. I guess the memories are still alive in me, I don't know.
Some famous chunk of coal said once that he felt people don't believe they're gonna die. And I agree with him.
Another upside of horror movies is that they hurt nobody, which is why you can enjoy it and not get ptsd, unlink watching a snuff film.
I will also be fair and add that this might a be a cultural thing, but deep down desire for survival is a genetic thing could play a big part in this too.4
Let me introduce you to sys. admin + network admin + teacher at our school... She gave us "materials" to study for our school-leaving exams (called matura here - wiki that shit) so I looked at it and just had to comment everything that's wrong (and that's only the first paragraph)...
Apart from making utterly useless documents she also likes to think she is the best in the world and what she says is right and everyone is wrong. Networks that she builds crash 8 times a month, she can't install proper drivers and believes that open source and GNU/Linux is evil. (She also lives by herself, is around 48 years old, is a lesbian(not that it is a bad thing - just for context) and got one brilliant teacher who actually knew what she was saying and doing fired because she broke up with her)
Thinking about it - no wonder my classmates are all so confused and stressed... she can't teach and says bullshit like printers work with the RGB color space and when confronted she would shout that there are no printers that use CMYK, she has never seen one so they do not exist. (only to proceed changing CMYK ink cartridges in the printer)... I mean it's good for me because I get to teach pretty girls programming and informatics but I am sorry for the boys... Unfortunately I don't have the patience to teach someone programming and informatics unless they are a girl and I see a chance to evaluate that person's qualities to be a girlfriend.7
Since I'm getting back into gamedev, here's more gamerant for you. Today's topic?
Sometimes the baddies are not as cool, not as memorable, not as satisfying to fucking kill and then teabag their decaying corpses.
And a bunch of times the enemy is a downright pain in the ass rather than a challenge. Like the fucking lost souls in DOOM, screw those flying bitches a million times up the fucking ass.
But then take the kind of foe you actually ENJOY fighting. THAT is your classic enemy. You have a goddamn blood feud with these fucking bastards, you have a reason to face them and perhaps even the motivation to carry out mass genocide.
This is not to say you would want to *always* have to fight only this type of enemy; some variation is alright -- but when they DO show up, shit gets real. But what happens when they STOP showing up altogether?
WELL, you know what happens don't you? "I'd rather be fighting X than these annoying pieces of shit"
I like bashing in some fucking goblin skulls, that is my reason to live. I'll go through some skeletons and zombies, SURE. But when I get back to the surface, you let me spill some more GOBLINOID blood. OR ELSE.
Eh, and what about those times when you fight other humans and that's very nice but midway through the game some demonic/undead/otherwordly bitches pop up and you'd rather restart the game and go through the 'good part' one more time than face a single satanic nazi magical zombie ever again? Yeah, fuck that.
Change it up and all that if you will so the pacing and atmosphere and whatnot isn't always the fucking same; but FUCKED if sometimes you mess the whole goddamn thing just for a breath of 'fresh air'. Well, sometimes, we DONT want any fresh air you fucking idiot.
It's like the 'do the unexpected' bullshit in TV and cinema. Specially if you're doing it at like, right at the end of the fucking thing. We're too goddamn close to the ending you can't just do a narrative 180 at this point you fucking moron. YOU have led me to draw some CONCLUSIONS by now. Betray them and you betray ME.
As in, WHY should we trust the story if the story's only aim is to "suprise" us? There will always be a """TWIST""" that ooooh we didn't expect, except it doesn't make any fucking sense and is only there because I wouldn't see it coming, precisely because it doesn't make any fucking sense.
So RESPECT your audience. If we're playing GOOD vs EVIL, then make EVIL interesting. Don't make me campaign against EVERY FUCKING FORM of EVIL. Give me a LIMITED EVIL. An EVIL I can HATE. An EVIL I can feel like FIGHTING.
In conclusion, give me FEW but GOOD fucking enemies.
I don't need """THOUSANDS""" of anyshit. I only need SOME foul sons of bitches whose names I can pronounce and more importantly fucking remember. I need GOBLINS.
BRING ME some NASTY fucking GOBLINS, for my SWORD is at the ready. I will BATHE in their VENOMOUS blood and DEFILE every last one of their SANCTITIES. THAT is my mission.
But WAIT. What is that?! GOBLINS?! THEY'RE AT THE GATES! And they brought some WORG RIDERS?! AAH, you GREEN pieces of SHIT! I will SLAY you ALL!
*multiple stabbings later*
Ah, doesn't that feel nice you whores. When 90% of what you do is fighting and the fighting isn't a PAIN in the ass? When you're HAPPY and WILLING to take part in it?!! EH?! ISN'T THAT NICE?! ISN'T IT???!!!
Fuck every developer that doesn't understand CLASSIC ENEMY and has me deal with their new dumbass, ill-conceived idea of what a foe is and then change it up for another terrible fucking idea, never to be consistent with who the fuck I am facing. FUCK. THEM.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to ride this horse into the sunset. TA-TA!4
A bit late.. and not much about how to learn to code..but more of a figuring out if the kid has a right mind set to do so..
If the kid is not the type to question everything, not resourceful, not a logical/critical thinker, gives up easily and especially if not interested in how things work then being a dev is most probably not for them.. they can still persue coding, but it will end badly..
From my experience, people who have a better education than me, but lack those skills turned out to be a crappy dev.. not interested in the best tool to complete the tasks, just making 'something', adding more shit to the already shitty stack.. and being happy with that.. which of course is not the best way to do things around here..or in life!!
Soo.. if the kid shows all that and most importantly shows interest in learning to code.. throw him the java ultimate edition book and see what happens.. joke!
There are plenty of apps thath can get you started (tried mimo, but being devs yourself it's probably not so hard to check some out and weed out the bad ones) that explain simple logic and syntax.. there is w3schools that explains basics quite well and lets you tinker online with js and python..
so maybe show them these and see what happens.. If it will pick their interest, they will soon start to ask the right questions.. and you can go from there..
If the kids are not the 'evil spawns' of already dev parents or don't have crazy dev aunties and uncles, then they will have to work things out themselves or ask friends... or seek help online (the resourceful part comes here).. so google or any flavour of search engines is their friend..
Just hope they don't venture to stack overflow too soon or they will want to kill themselves /* a little joke, but also a bit true.. */
Anyhow, if the kid is exhibiting 'dev traits' it is not even a question how to introduce it to the coding.. they will find a way.. if not, do not force them to learn coding "because it's in and makes you a lot of moneyz"..
As with other things in life, do not force kids to do anything that you think will be best for them.. Point them in direction, show them how it might be fun and usefull, a little nudge in the right direction.. but do not force.. ever!!!
And also another thing to consider.. most of the documentation and code is written in english.. If they are not proficient, they will have a hard time learning, checking docs, finding answers.. so make sure they learn english first!!
Not just for coding, knowing english will help them in life in general. So maaaaybe force them to learn this a bit..
One day my husband came to me and asked me how he can learn.. and if it's too late for him to learn coding.. that he found some app and if I can take a look and tell him what I think, if it is an ok app to learn..
I was both flattered and stumped at the same time..
Explained to him that in my view, he is a bit old to start now, at least to be competitive on the market and to do this for a living, but if it interests him for som personal projects, why not.. you're never too old to start learning and finding a new hobby..
Anyhow, I've pointed out to him that he will have to better his english in order to be able to find the answers to questions and potential problems.. and that I'm happy to help where and when I can, but most of the job will be on him.
So yeah, showed him some tutorials, explained things a bit.. he soon lost interest after a week and was mindblown how I can do this every day..
And I think this is really how you should introduce coding to kids.. show them some easy tutorials, explain simple logic to them.. see how they react.. if they pick it up easily, show them something more advanced.. if they lose interest, let them be.
To sum up:
- check first if they really want to learn this or this is something they're forced to do (if latter everything you say is a waste of everybodys time)
- english is important
- asking questions (& questioning the code) is mandatory so don't be afraid to ask for help
- admitting not knowing something is the first step to learning
- learn to 'google' & weed out the crap
- documentation is your friend
- comments & docs sometimes lie, so use the force (go check the source)
- once you learn the basics its just a matter of language flavour..adjust some logic here, some sintax there..
- if you're stuck with a problem, try to see it from a different angle
- debugging is part of coder life, learn to 'love' it4
People don't read them.
They are longer than they should be.
Mostly to hide evil shit the developers are doing.
I am now going to start including the complete works of Shakespeare in my license files.
This means it will have evil shit other people have done included in the file. Will most likely make it meaningless. Nobody will read it anyway.
At the very end I will just write: Don't be a dick.4
stupid gmail when you export contacts it exports only email address without name and surname ... google should burn in hell with their "don't be evil" abuse of dominant position6
Eval is evil. I heard it often. So apparently, they put it there just merely to test you, whether you are a sinful coder deserving eternal damnation or not...
So, one thing I don't really like from people is sometimes they just believe in things without questioning anything. And worst... sometimes they get offended when some random poor guy ask a sensible question regarding to the belief.
Just because Richard Stallman said vi is evil, then they hate every vim users in the world.
Just because this easy-but-effective solution is not PSR-3 compliant, then they ditch it at all...
Ok, back to the eval-is-evil thing.
Yesterday, I show some part of code using safe-eval npm package to someone. And the reaction is like "yike... it's eval..."
So yes, eval is evil. But only if it's miss-used, just like anything else...
The drawbacks of eval are:
2. Performance. Eval is slow. Yes it is, because it is running a parser inside a parser. So it is just a mere calculator. And yes, it is slower 100 ms than native program. Problem?
3. Untrace-able error stack. But again, you just use that eval once. And if it is trowing an error, just catch it and let the user know that his input is wrong. Problem?
No, there is no real problem here. It's just eval is evil and it is...10
I have a file manager that's only halfway done. While I'm working on it, I'm using the features it already has to create files for other parts of the project so I don't waste like 30 seconds copy-pasting the usual boilerplate. Totally reasonable.
Now, there is no delete button in the barebones UI. There is a function for deleting files or entire directories, I can call these manually by printing, of all things. $:NUKE DIR;> is weird enough that I wouldn't write it by accident. But there is no buttons for these things. Because there is no checking, no "are you sure" type safeguard. And I don't trust myself to remember.
There IS one safeguard however. The manager will refuse to delete a folder identified as the source directory of a project. But everything INSIDE /src/ is fair game. And so I realize, this a stupid safeguard that does nothing. I can't accidentally delete the whole folder but I can accidentally delete each subfolder one by one.
So I disable deleting of files through the manager until I figure this out. It's not hard. I could just sneak a getch in there and call it a day. But I need the UI to be painfully obvious about what it's doing before it does anything, else I will screw myself over unknwingly at one point or another. It has happened before.
Meanwhile I'm working on three other fucking tasks and my brain is spaghetti. Commit message reads utter fucking mess, disdain for python has increased. I'm slowly hating it more and more. I need a minimal python version so I can build the build system. I need the build system to compile the manager. I need the manager to not go crazy shuffling libraries and listing files. But the manager isn't complete. Back to step one.
This is very much an endless, hardcoded depedency cycle until at least one piece is finished. Break the wheel. Or rather this monolithic piece of shit. I've gone rogue. No syntax highlighting and haven't checked documentation in weeks. I somehow know how all of this works and at the same time I don't. I wrote it, and THERE IS a function for that, I just can't find it. Debugger says error @KVNSL.RUN but I know it's actually buried deep within the asscracks of draw. One hack saved me five minutes of thinking through the implementation and now I am paying the price.
$:ADDITEM TEST;> but the linewrap is broken. Again. I am drawing out of bounds. I know what's the problem, let me scroll for five minutes real quick so I can copy paste this ridiculous fix from an unrelated file I forgot about until now. How do you like that, you fuck. Look, there's that call I commented six weeks ago in case the new system was worse, maybe I haven't decided yet, except I have. I should delete it but I'm leaving it there for posterity. Look son, that's the useless fucking zombie method your grandad was too much of a wanker to get rid of, still there to this day.
Breaktime. Eat, drink. Random find a video of myself fucked on rum and alkokayine holding an electric guitar with my knees and pulling on the broken strings to produce artsy noise as I convulse on the floor in a den of evil. Huh. Guess I used to be pretty fucking rock n roll. But does that make me a literal rockstar programmer I don't fucking think so. Rockstar is a weird, corny-ass language. Eighties are greasy and I prefer my shit mid colon. This is not making a lot of sense, and I have not misplaced my pills again. I don't think so.
More likely I'm just losing my mind here. So tired I can't sleep. Or so bored entertainment isn't entertaining. About a month since I turned 27. Check devrant before bed. Spicy content. Satisfaction.
Lie in bed. My code is nightmare fuel and it chases me in my dreams. Finish this feature before venturing off into the goblins cave, there is a genderfluid mustardbag cryptogargle baggle baggle at line 8 through your fucking momma; critical failure. Last night you did me so dirty soon as I ran downstairs it was thirty wide pages worth of endless turdlicking logs, the cache you flushed, unexpected EOF but no sweat it's just a bad escape\\. But I'll always be your slave keyboard monkey, bitch. Now come fix my leaks, you fuck.2
HOW THE FUCK IS THIS LEGAL?! This isn't even their fucking research! So much of this was either done decades before they existed, or done by others. In the first place, since when can you patent fucking math?! Sure we haven't seen the full patents but they should focus on specific implementations if anything and the titles clearly do not reflect that.
So much for "don't be evil", fuck Google
This story happened to everyone, and i am sure that if i search, i will find dozens of similar stories, but the different here is, i tried, i really tried, in a hundred different ways to achieve my goal !
When you are stuck on a problem, let's say, that you have a program, project, website ... and need to achieve something technically weird (or hard) and need some help to save you time on experimentations. The first thing a lot of people do is : Google.com && put search dorks.
But, at a moment, google gets "dirty", you use it so often that he always think to know better then you what you are looking for.
It reminds of "Ted", the movie (for thows who know it) where they asked : "Hey ! Why does google always suggest us to look for black dicks ??"
It is exactly what happened to me, i got results who doesn't have anything to do with what i was looking for !
You can give it a try now : type "semantic web RDF to RDB"
You won't find anything, except results related to : NOSQL DBs, which is totally annoying.
Something else, i once google swift to get some updates, what results did i got ? Taylor Swift ... (musician)
I often get 2 or 3 results from google, which made me thinking that i somewhat reached the end of internet, or that people are so dumb that i will have spend hours trying to figure my solutions, but, before doing that, other solutions had to be tested.
1- TOR : Google tracks his users and uses its algos and bullshits to return results as close as possible to the user's demand (big fail ...) so how about moving to a different country ? DL TOR browser, open, setup, go to US, open google (got us version YAY !) enter my keywords, and, nothing, still nothing, more results for sure, but nothing related to what i was looking for.
Pop a VM, launch TOR, use Hidden mode, delet all cookies and stuff (it is a new VM but who knows).
Use keywords (now in UK). Here they are !! my results !!! i finally found some decent results about my keywords !
But, i have the required knowledge to do this kind of stuff, but how about people who rely heavily on google ? they can't change country, clear everything, trick google to think you are a new user, they have almost biased and flawed results. I tried duckduckgo (i love them) but they are not that efficient.
Google says not to anything evil, but they ARE EVIL, miss guiding people, suggesting corrections who have nothing to do with the keywords, or results totally unrelated in any way to the keywords while results exist in other countries ???
Ever since, i don't pay attention to google at all, and started thinking that google's algos are manipulating people, i don't know if it is done on purpose or not, but the result is the same, people have biased results based on their country, on their tag, on their ID, and the recent keywords.
During that period i was cursing google every funcking day, and i am still doing it, too much trackers, too much manipulation, i will end-up enclosing myself in darknet.4
Just discovered something really shady that Google does. (wow, how unexpected right!)
On YouTube, you can have multiple channels under one Google account. When you do so, you create a "brand account", which is a holdover from the Google Plus days - which has a different public-facing profile from your main Google account but you still sign in the same way.
When you create it, you have to tick a box that says "I understand I am creating a new Google Account with its own settings, including YouTube search and watch history".
Here's the kicker: this includes all your privacy settings like Ad Personalisation - they are all reset to the default (i.e. yes, oh baby give me that data *slurrp*)!
Hiding behind that seemingly boring "legalese" checkbox is some very nefarious behaviour.
Don't Be Evil ™5
I go to add a method call in a business logic class that's used exclusively in a particular service, and get blocked in the PR by some other guy-
Other Guy: refactor this into the shared framework referenced by all our microservices
Me: it is only and would only be used in this service
OG: what about the other business logic class in this service?
Me: it's not used there, and if it does end up used there then we can refactor it into a class that they both reference then
OG: I need to know when the abstraction of this function will be done. is it going to be delivered next sprint?
Me: YAGNI - better to avoid doing extra work when we don't know if we'll even need it
OG: tbh you can still abstract it with some generics and lambda magic, but im not gonna enforce that
Me: premature abstraction is the root of all evil (tongueout)
OG: not really, its the root of not having a million miles of tech debt in 2 years
I just can't win for losing with the anti-YAGNI yogi.1
welcome to stupid sprint management class 101.
annotations >> Stream Lead : SL , DevJesus :Dj , Other Dev : OD
SL: Hey guys this sprint is going to be have a complicated task .we are integrating a new type of payment system and all the flows are changetting a revamp , ui wise as well as apiswise. There are going to be 6 screens for this screen. Dj, you take the old 3 screens where you will be making modifications . OD , you take the new 3 screens where you will be making the new UI. both of you will be adding changes to old apis as well as add new apis. We will also be needing another sprint to finish the modifications because this task is so much big.
Dj and Od : Cool
*takes 2 days to understand all the old changes*
*takes 1 day to understand new changes/requirements*
*has to start, but still no apis. so starts with assumptions, and mock jsons he created on its own*
*meanwhile keeps on asking new questions everyday ,making pms , BE and other people realise the missed points*
*able to deliver everything by day 10 with minor things left as BE also provided all the apis iteratively till day 5-8 and still has to provide an additional api*
*No discussions in daily standups. everytime status: "Yeah am on it" *
*On Day 8 : "Yeah am blocked by BE since BE Hasn't provided the api for my screen. I am also blocked since Dj hasn't finished their screens yet and am dependent on data from his screens"
SD : "So have you completed the ui of your screen"
Dj: "Ummm... yeahhhh sure, i made by ui. but since i had no data, i could not test"
SL :"welcome to new sprint discussion everyone. we have 4 more screens that SD is supposed to make. and Dj will be improving the code quality, fixing bugs for his screen if anything occurs , and finisihing integration of the api that is still missing"
Day 13 :
SL : "Hey Dj, since OD is still working on his screens from last sprint, can you take 3 of his new screens and integrate them?"
WTF. Like yeah i did my work slowly, but steadily and honestly. OD must have some issue for which he could not do, but why am I supposed to get fucked by more work when someone else is slacking. and its not like i had already finished my work. Your stupid BE hasn't provided the api that is still responsible for 2 of my screens, you need me to make 3 more screens?
You know i hate those organisations, which are counting the hours of each devs life. like yeah , this guy is going to be free this weekend and therefore getting free salary from us. lets just give him some work from other people too.
This is a culture which would make you an evil person even if you don't want to. i would usually sit for even 12-15 hours with my code, on weekends and in my free time too, but lately am not doing that because of the tasks, but rather because of the sheer amount of work that is coming , and the sheer amount of dirty hacky code that i have to interact with everyday. if they give me some moments to breathe, then can i only make it more optimised, scalable and easy to work with and even learn more stuff to improve it. but nope. lets just fuck the dJ1
Whenever I see the name @CoffeeBoy come up I think to myself:
-Umm hey I think we just ran out of coffee,
-Aw shit and we are working overtime till we finish.
-Are you thinking what I'm thinking ?
-Are you thinking about how good it would be to be a cat.
-Uuh no why do you want to be a cat ?
-Well duuh cat's sleep all day. It's great !
-They also live for only 15 years so I would think in total you will sleep more than cats do.
-You like to ruin things for me don't you.
-I call it productive refactoring. But getting back on topic. I hear we have a new intern ?
-Yeah, that's Jim over there.
-Well lets tell him to get us coffee.
-Oh yeah that's a good idea, because interns already have the bare minimum of expectations from their life anyways !
-Hey Jim, yeah you Jimmie buddy can you get us a few cups of coffee we really need those to stay functioning right now.
-Yeah sure, what do you need.
-George drinks cappuccino, you can get me whatever. Thanks man here is the money. Buy yourself a cup too it's on me.
*Jim walks out of the room*
30 minutes has passed...
-Dude where is Jim at ? It shouldn't be that hard to get 3 cups of coffee from just a few blocks away.
-I hope he didn't get robbed or something he has MY money on him.
*22 minutes ago, jim walks out of the coffee shop carrying the 3 cups securely held under his arm *
-I thought he was just gonna use me as an errand boy or a coffee boy to be exact in this case. But it's nice of him to also pay for my cup. Maybe they are not such bad--
His sentence got cut off by the sudden impact with a metal surface at high velocity. He got hit by a car while he was crossing the street, too deep in thought to notice the speeding car in time.
After hitting Jim the car suddenly come to a halt with a screech noise from it's tires.
But it was too late the impact shattered his lower spine. Leaving a blodied body on the ground. Coffee from the smashed cups merged with his blood. Little did anyone know that day would be the birth of a new hero.
He,he,he he is the COFFEE BOY,
Fighting the evil villain Sleep Deprivation day and night, but mostly night. And his sidekick Mugatron always covering for Coffee Boy !!!
Google’s SEO glitch over the weekend resulted in both a ruined weekend for my client and I but also a little billable time for me and extra moolah in my bank account. I only wish I had seen this article, but it did help us uncover a nasty hotlinker to block and disavow. Thanks, Google?
I don't even know if the shitty rant gets through this unreliable service I pay for with my money. I want to fucking wrap my hand in that money, light it up and fucking beat your teeth out while shoving this fucking money down your greedy, second arseholes. Honestly, what am I paying you for. These last couple of days your service was less reliable than a drunkard behind the wheel trying to drive in a straight line. Exactly this fucking week where there's a fucking hackathon. This very fucking week l where I got to be the team leader, you make me look like a fucking unreliable internet twat who just talks big. This very fucking week I'm given a internet service that doesn't even let me communicate with my team mates. Why do you dare to display fucking 3g? Is the the force my fist should take? Is it the fucking amount of gallons of acid you want to be showered with? Well fucking pay that shit with the money you earned. Just let me fucking work, let me give my best, give me a fucking way to look at the docs, give me a fucking way to test my code (chat bot), give me a fucking way to tell you to go fuck yourself using your fucking antennas, maybe thst will help.
Kindly, a pissed of customer who's rage makes the heatwave look like a lesser evil.1
I would have wanted to bring up SICP again, with the great big warning about the evil assignment operator and state and all the troubles that ensue (just think: concurrency).
But in a way, nothing has really come up from this or my attempts to dig deeper into "everything is a file/object" (Unix, smalltalk), neither from formal languages or the Curry-Howard correspondence. - Maybe there's just nothing, no firm bottom ground to discover. Like the physicists going for their world formula, but instead of a grand, beautiful symmetry that explains everything, we face a shattered world of (incompatible) theories, that is ever so more complex and chaotic through our theories applied to it. There may not be a Platonic ideal world of ideas, but rather partial constructs explaining some particular perceptions.
Similarly the one perfect programming language to rule them all, the perfect abstraction, pattern is probably just another prepubertal fantasy to be sunk.
So maybe instead of seeking the perfect epiphany, we should go for something quite different: the nagging, brooding uneasiness that something is wrong there, that there's something to be fixed... that even negative feeling would propel us to search further, not to stay in whatever is touted as the real thing.
Such irritations I found with Pieter Hintjens' writings. For example when he actively engaged in conspiracy theories. And I'm still not sure, if he just went off the cliff or he's even right alluding that these theories are an act of sanity, a self-defence against the hidden evil mights. I just don't know. Anything.
Persisterising derived values. Often a necessary evil for optimisation or privacy while conflicting with concerns such as auditing.
Password hashing is the common example of a case considered necessary to cover security concerns.
Also often a mistake to store derived values. Some times it can be annoying. Sometimes it can be data loss. Derived values often require careful maintenance otherwise the actual comments in your database for a page is 10 but the stored value for the page record is 9. This becomes very important when dealing with money where eventual consistency might not be enough.
Annoying is when given a and b then c = a + b only b and c are stored so you often have to run things backwards.
Given any processing pipeline such as A -> B -> C with A being original and C final then you technically only need C. This applies to anything.
However, not all steps stay or deflate. Sum of values is an example of deflate. Mapping values is an example of stay. Combining all possible value pairs is inflate, IE, N * N and tends to represent the true termination point for a pipeline as to what can be persisted.
I've quite often seen people exclude original. Some amount of lossy can be alright if it's genuine noise and one way if serving some purpose.
If A is O(N) and C reduces to O(1) then it can seem to make sense to store only C until someone also wants B -> D as well. Technically speaking A is all you ever need to persist to cater to all dependencies.
I've seen every kind of mess with processing chains. People persisting the inflations while still being lossy. Giant chains linear chains where instead items should rely on a common ancestor. Things being applied to only be unapplied. Yes ABCBDBEBCF etc then truncating A happens.
Extreme care needs to be taken with data and future proofing. Excess data you can remove. Missing code can be added. Data however once its gone its gone and your bug is forever.
This doesn't seem to enter the minds of many developers who don't reconcile their execution or processing graphs with entry points, exist points, edge direction, size, persistence, etc.2