Boss: "I don't want to comply with the GDPR"

Me, DPO: "I've told you the house rules. You must comply, stop arguing"

Boss: "But I don't want it. Bobby doesn't have to, and Eve doesn't have to, their moms are cool"

Me: "I don't give a crap about the other kids, you're going to be GDPR compliant. Bob and Eve will end up being raped in prison. It's that what you want?"

Boss: "What if I just pretend to do it."

Me: "I'll take away all your marketing toys. No more mailchimp for you young man."

Boss, crying: "You wouldn't touch my Facebook pixel!"

Me: "Especially your Facebook pixel. I'm so sick of that thing...."

Me: "...Look, you can still play with your toys, all I'm saying is you need to be honest and ask your buddies for consent before you put your pixels up their various holes"

Boss: "But they will never agree!"

Me: "Maybe that is good thing"

Boss: "But how will we get people to like us if I can't feed them pills and insert probes into their holes to measure their responses?"

Me: "Maybe you should focus on being a nice kid, someone people like to play with. Your buddies will tell other kids that you're a nice guy. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. Much more effort than what you're doing now. But you know, those friends will stick with you for decades, instead of just until the marketing-drugs wear off"

Boss: "I think I want a new mom"

Me: "You signed a contract. You're stuck with me for the next 2 years. And as long as you're living under my roof, you will follow my rules."

I have made this RGB LED tie. One of my friends and me had the idea at 2 am and now it has come to reality :D

It runs on an Arduino nano, 8 rgb leds and is powered by a 9V battery.

I have prom tomorrow ('abschlussball' in german) I probably won't wear it during the official part but definitely at the party after prom.

The current animation is a bit too fast (I was listening to hardstyle while coding it) for the music they will play tomorrow at the party so I still have to make a slower one.

Tell me what you think about it :P

So my school got invited to this coding competition for high-schoolers and among them, I was a part member and part mentor along side our CS professor since I was the most proficient coding stuff (although most of I do were JS and Python stuff although i can read other code)

Then this guy showed up.

He was picked by the faculty to take the WebDev competition. He knows how to use Photoshop for Photo retouchings and stuff but here's a problem.

He can't code nor make a proper website design.

So being the kind person I am, I volunteered to teach him what I know about frontend and HTML. This goes on for 4 weeks of nonstop practices, coding sessions and finally, Code In The Dark-style practice (which involves the person to code a full website for only 15 minutes).

When he was able to finish and mastered some of what I taught. I gave him the go signal and we were on to the road to victory.

Unfortunately our first try, we won nothing.

He said after the competition "I give up man, I can't take this!" but I said, "Just because you lost a f*cking competition once, doesn't mean you're a motherf*cking loser in life. There's still one more chance."

So I pressured our WebDev guy to be more better, taught him about mockups, JavaScript and etc.

Then the second attempt a year later, me and the WebDev guy won and moved on the finals. However, he didn't win the finals and I was the lone champion reprsenting our school.

Although he didn't win, he was happy I carried the torch and win the prize.

Prior to that, he asked me "Hey, how to be like you?"

I only answered, "Achievements are just gold with cloth and paper. Wear it lightly".

Fast forward to today, he's now the school's head design coordinator and layout designer for their newspaper column. He also practices his coding skills by frequenting on our coding sessions even when the competition was over.

But whenever someone asks "who taught you this?" he would only look to me, smile and say "that person right there".

!rant

My shirt said "why do developers wear glasses... Because they can't c#" and this girl said she didn't understand my shirt, she asked what C-hashtag meant and wanted me to explain it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

My job requires us to use Mac. I've spent the week figuring how to get stuff done on it.

My best description of trying to code on mac is that it's kinda like having to extract your mangled penis from a blender before you bleed to death... Except you can't look directly at it, you have to wear a VR headset that's linked to a camera in the corner of the room.

And you can't use your hands directly you have to use an incredibly stylish and ergonomic looking steering wheel to control a robotic arm. The robotic arm has its own artificial intelligence and it desperately wants to help.

Unfortunately it doesn't understand anything about what you're trying to do and it keeps leaping to incorrect conclusions about what you want from it.

Everyone tells you it'll get better, but you're still in intense pain and your penis is still stuck in the blender.

Currently on an internship, PHP mostly, little bit of Python and the usual web stuff, and I just had the BEST FUCKING DAY EVER.

Wake up and find out I'm out of coffee, oh boy here we go.

Bus leaves 10 minutes late, great gonna miss my train.

Trains just don't wanna ride today, back in a bus I go, what's normally a 10 minute train travel is now a 90 minute bus ride.

Arrive at internship, coffee machine is broke, non problem, I'll just lose it slowly.

NOW HERE COMES THE FUCKING GOOD PART!!

Alright, so I'm working on a CMS that can be used just about on any device you want, mobile or desktop, it's huge, billion's of rows of scientific data. Very specific requirements and low error margins. Now, yesterday I was really enjoying myself here until today, Project manager walks in, comes to my desk and hands me a Samsung Gear S3, an Apple watch and some cheap knockoff. He tells me that before the Friday deploy, THE ENTIRE CMS SHOULD WORK ON THOSE WATCHES!

I mean, don't get me wrong, I like a challenge but it's just not right, I mean, I'm still not sure what the right way to handle tables on phones is, but smart watches, just no. Besides that, I've never worked with any Apple devices, let alone WatchOs, nor have I worked with Android Wear.

Also, Project Manager is a total dickhead, he's the kinda guy that prefers a light theme, doesn't clean up his code, writes 0 documentation for an API, 1 space = tab, pure horror.

So after almost flipping my desk, I just called my school coach to announce I'm leaving this internship. After a brief explanation he decides to come over, and guess what, according to the Project Manager I wasn't supposed to do that, I was supposed to test if it would be possible.

FUCKING ASSFUCKFACE

!rant

The Sound of Typing (an original dev parody of "The Sound of Silence")

Hello caffeine, my old friend
I've come to sip on you again
Because my mind continues sleeping
While overpiled work is creeping
And the deadline that is flashing upon my screen
Can't be unseen
Within the sound of typing

Down the lines of buggy code
I quickly switch to debug mode
What kind of moron wrote this function?
For this unnecessary junction?
Wrapped in a condition that will always return true
I need a brew
To forget the sound of typing

Boss said I you do not know
WordPress like a cancer grows
A one page website doesn't need that
Still I wear my debug hard hat
And when I sleep I still see the same terror
Fatal error
Echoed in the sounds of typing

And every time I leave my home
I must launch chrome on my phone
The constant messages and phone calls
The chiming echoes through the halls
While I frantically fix some FooBar'd CSS
BUT I don't have LESS
Deep in the sounds of typing

And when I think I have it done
Some scope creep ruins all my fun
So now I force through an all-nighter
While I forge on like a fighter
But the project I thought was due on next Friday
Changed to Monday
Within the sound of typing

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.

3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC

5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.

6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself

7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#

9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte

10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache

11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.

12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol

13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."

15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."

18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.

19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

I have to share because I'm so confused at the moment. After troubleshooting for months trying to figure out why my laptop would randomly go into sleep mode, as I was typing. (Imagine my frustrations working on exam projects to have the screen just go black on me every 30 seconds.)

Today I found a post on the Dell forums by another person with the same problem. Apparently a magnetic closure on my bracelet triggered a sensor to think I had shut the lid on my laptop. What. The. Fuck. Guess that explains why it would only happen sometimes, as I don't wear this bracelet often 🙃🔫 definitely the funniest and weirdest problem I've ever had with a laptop.

My start at one of the Big Four (accounting firms).

The first two days of each month they organise "onboarding days" for the new starters of that month. (I so hate upper management buzzwords!) They sent me a formal invitation that looked like I was being invited to a ball with the royals, and they included the following super-smarty-pants line: "Dress code: would you wear jeans and t-shirt when you meet a client?"

And I thought: "I'm an effing hardware and software engineer for internal services. I will never meet a client." But I dressed formally nonetheless, and I went to the onboarding, and I hated every second I spent in those effing high heels, and don't get me started on how I managed to get a run on my stockings in the first hour.

The first day of the onboarding we sat through eight hours of general talks from senior employees who wanted to explain the "culture" and "values" of our company, but the worst of all was the three-hour introduction to IT services where they "helped us set up our new laptops" and taught us how to send e-mails and how to use the Company Portal.

On the second day, they divided us into groups depending on our speciality (assurance, taxes, legal, etc) and exposed us to further 8 hours of boredom related to our speciality. However, since the "digital services" thing was still new to them, we didn't have a category of our own, and we had to attend the introduction to one of the other categories, and I didn't understand one word of what was being said.

On the third day I finally went to my office and they provided me with a second laptop. It turns out that we engineers got different laptops and were allowed to manage it ourselves instead of letting central IT manage it for us. So I simply returned the laptop they had given me the first day and started working. However, for some reason, the laptop I returned was not registered, and two weeks later they started pestering me with emails asking where was the laptop "I had stolen". It took me 3 weeks of emails and calls to make them understand that I had returned the laptop immediately.

Also, on the two onboarding days we had to sign attendance, and since I forgot to sign the paper list on the second day, they invited me to the event the next month again. I explained to them that I had already attended the onboarding and didn't go, so they invited me again on the third month, and they threatened me with "disciplinary action" if I didn't go. After a week of lost time writing emails and calling people, I ended up going to the onboarding again just to sign the effing list.

In the end, I resigned during the probation time. That company was the worst experience of my life. It was an example of corporate culture so absurdly exaggerated that it sometimes reminded me of Kafka's Trial. I think they have more "HR representatives" than people who do actual work.

Shopping for computers is so fun and relaxing than shopping for makeup.

So here's the scenario...
I walked into a makeup store and I was looking for lipstick. I was wearing my devRant shirt, jeans, and a laptop backpack. A sales lady approached me and just stared. She didn't even ask what I was looking for. The way she looked at me made me feel that I don't belong there. She should've just left me alone than giving a judgemental look. I got intimidated so I looked at her and gave the biggest smile, then fleed. I panicked. I salute those female developers who doesn't have problems shopping for girly stuff!

For the record, my sister encouraged me to wear a little makeup so that I don't look stressed. That made me decide to go to that makeup store. I'd rather order online now.

It's so hard to not be girly by nature.

College can be one of the worst investments for an IT career ever.

I've been in university for the past 3 years and my views on higher education have radically changed from positive to mostly cynical.

This is an extremely polarizing topic, some say "your college is shite", "#notall", "you complain too much", and to all of you I am glad you are happy with your expensive toilet paper and feel like your dick just grew an inch longer, what I'll be talking about is my personal experience and you may make of it what you wish. I'm not addressing the best ivy-league Unis those are a whole other topic, I'll talk about average Unis for average Joes like me.

Higher education has been the golden ticket for countless generations, you know it, your parents believe in it and your grandparents lived it. But things are not like they used to be, higher education is a failing business model that will soon burst, it used to be simple, good grades + good college + nice title = happy life.

Sounds good? Well fuck you because the career paths that still work like that are limited, like less than 4.

The above is specially true in IT where shit moves so fast and furious if you get distracted for just a second you get Paul Walkered out of the Valley; companies don't want you to serve your best anymore, they want grunt work for the most part and grunts with inferiority complex to manage those grunts and ship the rest to India (or Mexico) at best startups hire the best problem solvers they can get because they need quality rather than quantity.

Does Uni prepare you for that? Well...no, the industry changes so much they can't even follow up on what it requires and ends up creating lousy study programs then tells you to invest $200k+ in "your future" for you to sweat your ass off on unproductive tasks to then get out and be struck by jobs that ask for knowledge you hadn't even heard off.

Remember those nights you wasted drawing ER diagrams while that other shmuck followed tutorials on react? Well he's your boss now, but don't worry you will wear your tired eyes, caffeine saturated breath and overweight with pride while holding your empty title, don't get me wrong I've indulged in some rough play too but I have noticed that 3 months giving a project my heart and soul teaches me more than 6 months of painstakingly pleasing professors with big egos.

And the soon to be graduates, my God...you have the ones that are there for the lulz, the nerds that beat their ass off to sustain a scholarship they'll have to pay back with interests and the ones that just hope for the best. The last two of the list are the ones I really feel bad for, the nerds will beat themselves over and over to comply with teacher demands not noticing they are about to graduate still versioning on .zip and drive, the latter feel something's wrong but they have no chances if there isn't a teacher to mentor them.

And what pisses me off even more is the typical answers to these issues "you NEED the title" and "you need to be self taught". First of all bitch how many times have we heard, seen and experienced the rejection for being overqualified? The market is saturated with titles, so much so they have become meaningless, IT companies now hire on an experience, economical and likeability basis. Worse, you tell me I need to be self taught, fucker I've been self taught for years why would I travel 10km a day for you to give me 0 new insights, slacking in my face or do what my dog does when I program (stare at me) and that's just on the days you decide to attend!

But not everything is bad, college does give you three things: networking, some good teachers and expensive dead tree remnants, is it worth the price tag, not really, not if you don't need it.

My broken family is not one of resources and even tho I had an 80% scholarship at the second best uni of my country I decided I didn't need the 10+ year debt for not sleeping 4 years, I decided to go to the 3rd in the list which is state funded; as for that decision it worked out as I'm paying most of everything now and through my BS I've noticed all of the above, I've visited 4 universities in my country and 4 abroad and even tho they have better everything abroad it still doesn't justify some of the prices.

If you don't feel like I do and you are happy, I'm happy for you. My rant is about my personal experience which is kind of in the context of IT higher education in the last ~8 years.

Just letting some steam off and not regretting most of my decisions.

"WTH! Get the fuck out of here, bitch!!".

I started a new job today (remote) and my first task was to improve product sign-up process, basically the UX is shit and the backend is even worse, never felt so bad looking at terrible software design my entire life and career. My first assignment was to introduce some sanity. (Mr. Supervisor's exact words)

Anyway, I report directly to upper management but need to get onboarded by current technology expert who's highly skilled at writing shitty code and is also stupid, literally.

It took the whole day to get him to grant access to the private repo in order to start working but that's not the story.

So, I'm seated, demoralised about the structure of software I have to work on and here I was refreshing localhost:7878 consistently and was consistently getting the message:
"WTH! Get the fuck out of here, bitch!!".

So, this same codebase I have is suppose to be the exact same one that's powering the app in production. I was furious and confused. Is stupid calling me a bitch already??? He wants to fuck??? What the hell!!!

I called him and turns out, I was suppose to switch branches. The branch I had was suppose to show that message intentionally (??!???!???) (His words exactly), I couldn't even muster the words "Why" completely before he hung up.

So basically, I got onboarded today. Quite successfully, I must add, because I know exactly the battlesuit I have to wear to my new remote job going forward!

Q: What did the mermaid wear to math class?

A: An algae-bra.

So today I got an email about a job opportunity. The email was in romainian. This is the exact translation and bear in mind that in romanian as in every other language (I guess) alot of english phrases sound very cringy. This is the email:

We need a fearless hero for the IT realm!
X company, a thriving insurance community, is looking for a real hero of software development that can make code using the .NET mystical hammer that can only be lifted by a worthy, deserving and responsible warrior.

You can't fly? Can't shoot lasers? You are not wasting your night time by looking at the moon on tall blocks wearing a cape? Then you could be the hero we need.

Do not worry, the position does not imply superhuman strength :)) However, it requires intellectual strength and attention to detail. You can even use your powers from a comfortable chair in a welcoming team full of other heroes ready to help you. We won't leave you alone, after all even Batman has Robin :))

I have attached all the information you need. Only The Chosen One can open the document so you will know immediately if you are right. :))

If you want to be responsible with your strength, then I'm waiting for your updated English resume with all your heroic deeds in the past.

Remember, not all heroes wear capes!

... WHAT THE FUCK IS .NET MYSTICAL HAMMER??? AND WHO THE FUCK USES ":))" IN AN EMAIL??

!(dev || rant)

Dudes and dudettes, i shall ask you all one question: what is the thing/hobby (or things/hobbies) that you always wanted to get into and never gor the chance?

For me i thing first would be brewing, as i would love to refer to myself as a "Brewmaster" like in Warcraft (bonus points if i wear a panda costume) more then an "Engineer" (a trust worthy one even), but i think i might have the chance to as soon as i will have the chance (and means) to move alone as i already know a few things from my dad. The second would be something really cool i saw on reddut and made me remember the old times when i will watch timelapses in this topic on you tube: Crystal growing! Like, middle school chemistry, not meth! At least for now.. 🤔 Anyway, here is a nice pic with some dude's work, looking forward to hear abiut yours!!

PS: Bonus Points for a pic related to the thingie!

When you wear a dev shirt to public places and you know no one can recognize what it is...

To long to read. So don’t do it.

I feel disappointed. It’s not about job or stuff. I’m disappointed about world in general. I don’t see my future on this planet anymore.

The world more or less looks like that :

Politics are trying to help you by stealing more money from you. The more you’re lucky the more money you will pay for it.

Media punch you with some family stuff from everywhere, give you young rich and far away, beautiful picture photos of places, people and food that you at most could visit once or twice per year during holidays that are break from work concentration camps.

If you’re lucky you’re rich or got rich or wealthy and infamous so you can walk wherever you want and don’t give a fuck what you wear but again your old friends are not so lucky bastards so you need to find new friends that are probably assholes. At the end most of the days you you’re doing nothing except killing time to meet with people you like during weekends or evenings.

Then there are families and everyone want to tell you that’s important. Family is like herd of assholes, if you’re weak they will sacrifice you and tell that you’re looser behind your back but when you get wealthy they will come back to tell you that when you were young and stupid they played with you so now you have to buy them some stuff or get them a job.

At the end there are people with “I wrote that book” certificate of excellence try to sell you opinions on everything starting from sexual positions ending on how to take a good dump. The problem is that the moment they wrote that book it becomes obsolete. Teachers of useless knowledge from last century that forgot about google or wikipedia.

All of them are playing your emotions, cause impulses and hormones are what makes you weak and people are looking for your weaknesses to take advantage of you. Get your money or get your attention and maybe even both at the same time. Cause views matter you know it. So like and subscribe dumb fucks.

If you’re lucky you find couple of them who aren’t doing that. Who the fuck knows why but this shit happens. It doesn’t matter if they’re family or you met them month ago. Those are only to keep and hardest to find. Unluckily those also can change by other people they meet or when they’re young.

If you can’t find a friend get a dog or cat or whatever animal you like. Their love is unconditional and obvious to read.

Well that’s most of the “I want to be spotted” culture that is all boring as fuck. Personalized ass and glamorous pictures and short movies of everything you don’t need but looks awesome. And as you see it’s still growing with more specialized portals like onlyfans, twitch and tiktok. We all need to look at what everyone else have or want to have cause 99% of time 99% of us are boring and is bored as fuck. Most of us can repeat same small amount set of stories all their life cause we’re not created to entertain.

I don’t feel joy looking at this shit fucked full of shit people arguing who’s dick is bigger. Who can post most dumb thing. I think I need a break but how to break from everything ? How to break from culture of money where to live on your country land you need to pay property tax ?

That’s all fucked up. Life’s fucked up.

Client comes to me.

Client: So my business is colour matching, people visit me and I help match outfits they should wear that works with their hair and eye colour etc.

Me: Ok... and?

Client: Well. I'd like to do this online, someone sends a photo in and I assess it and send them a colour palette back.

Me: Right... How are you going to calibrate this?

Client: What do you mean?

Me: Well, it's a nigh on impossible task to ensure the exact tones and hues they send you in their photo to what you see, and likewise what you send back might look very different based on their brightness and contrast. Colour science is actually quite hard.

Client: But I don't understand they just send a picture right?

Me: Yeah, they can send one, but are you going to have a consistent baseline for your laptop, can you guarantee the brightness is at the same level each and every time?

Client: No... Why would that matter?

Me: I'm bored now, I'm not gonna take this project.

The reason I stick around at my current job is thanks to a mentor who has helped me reach greater potential.

He's our senior architect.

It began with him simply bouncing ideas off me. I was a rubber duck basically. After a while I began to understand these ideas. All sorts of design patterns, cache invalidation problems and solutions, and so much more.

It was almost as if through osmosis that I began to research things and learn more and more about topics I had only barely seen in high-level articles and papers.

Once I began to contribute to the discussion, he helped foster that. I went from being a rubber duck to a protege.

My pay here isn't what it should be. The problems we're faced with are stressful and often times wear me out. I stay because I'm self-taught and I yearn for learning as I always have.

This isn't just my job, but my passion. I love what I do, and I get up happy to come here every day knowing I'll learn something new while doing what I love.

People have been making fun of me for not having WhatsApp. They say that I am 'behind in technology', 'old fashioned' and that I don't know anything about computers and modern technology because I don't use WhatsApp.

They even kinda make fun of my family. One other family who made fun of us owns both Google Home and Amazon Echo.

What the heck is even going on anymore?

Anyway I am gonna put lights on a fez and wear it to school on monday.

*sips tea*

Startup-ing 101, from Fitbit:
- spy on users
- sell data
- cut production costs
- mutilate people's bodies, leaving burn scars that will never heal
- announce the recall, get PR, and make the refund process impossibly convoluted
- never give actual refunds
- claim that yes, fitbit catches fire, but only the old discontinued device, just to mess with search results and make the actual info (that all devices catch fire) hard to find
- try hard to obtain the devices in question, so people who suffered have no evidence
- give bogus word salad replies to the press

This is what one of the people burned has to say:
"I do not have feeling in parts of my wrist due to nerve damage and I will have a large scar that will be with me the rest of my life. This was a traumatic experience and I hope no one else has to go through it. So, if you own a Fitbit, please reconsider using it."

Ladies and gentlemen, cringefest starts. One of fitbit replies:
"Fitbit products are designed and produced in accordance with strict standards and undergo extensive internal and external testing to ensure the safety of our users. Based on our internal and independent third party testing and analysis, we do not believe this type of injury could occur from normal use. We are committed to conducting a full investigation. With Google's resources and global platform, Fitbit will be able to accelerate innovation in the wearables category, scale faster, and make health even more accessible to everyone. I could not be more excited for what lies ahead".

In the future, corporate speech will be autogenerated.

(if you wear fitbit, just be aware of this.)

Today I told 3 devs that they either get their shit together or they can pack their things and look for a job.

I can get easily pissed, but it's rather rare for me to get to that point easily.

Now my dear friends, can you guess what they did?

I give you a hint...

They made a test suite validating a network library.

So we have roughly 200 plus lovely splitted tests, neatly put in a directory structure - lovely organization.

(I might have written in the ticket that as a requirement... Cause I know my lil hellspawns)

But as I started looking at some tests, there was always something missing...

Network library...

So we needed to create an endpoint... And handle of course the tests communication with the endpoint *somewhere*.

I'd guess you know already what these mofos did...

Yeah. We have one class.... That handles all tests endpoints... Via different methods... Plus additional methods like utility functions....

The ticket was easy they said.

Me chewing their heads off was easy too.

Jesus Christ, I really doubt sometimes that some devs are able to go to a toilet.

Maybe thats the reason some wear baggy pants - easier to hide the pampers.

*rolls eyes*

I don't mind Apple marketing themselves as these revolutionary thinkers and innovators, because I figured most people see behind the marketing but appreciate Apple for what it is. It's a big company that makes well built products, that are efficient and give good support to those products.

But I'm sick to death of tech journalists talking about how every new feature is the death of Android. They have to be kidding themselves if they think what Apple's doing is innovating. Samsung's been designing screens for the bezelless market for a LONG time, and their technology in that is incredibly advanced (it's why if you use their iPhone x you'll be looking at a screen from Samsung!)

They finally adopted wireless charging and pretended it was brand new, but I remember when they came out with the Apple watch, marketing it like they'd broken ground when Android Wear watches had been out for a year!

I don't want people to think I hate Apple, I own a few of their products. I think they're remarkably invested in user privacy; homekit imo is one of the most forward thinking implementations of smart home technology that I've seen, and the new processor in the iPhone x is a Mammoth powerhouse. So, I'm not necessarily saying anything about that, but what I am saying is that they're iñcredible at marketing, but fanboys but are not self-aware can enough to recognize when the Designed-by-Apple hype over shadows the actual objectivity or the situation. There are articles already talking about Apple's wireless charging.

TL;DR I swear to god if an apple fanboy comes at me saying the bezelless design was Apple's innovation, I'm going to snap. I appreciate what Apple does well, but unfortunately people can't appreciate a product without needing to identify with it.

Lol
We, as a class, are in Austria for a week to do snowboarding and skiing. Today, when I woke up at 6 am to get ready for breakfast, I felt how ill I am.
I still managed to go to the buffet and eat some things.
After 15 minutes, I went to my room and rushed to the bathroom.
It was time to wear my snowboarding clothes and to go to the bus. But I wasn't able to do so. Told my room mates that I won't be able to get out of the bathroom. 10 minutes later one of my teachers knocked at my room's door and yelled at me that I should have told them earlier.

Like dude. Fuck urself. I can't hold my ass and I should fucking go to you and tell you what the situation is?! I can barely move, nga!

He also added that I should stay in my room and to meet him at night.
Like if I've done some heavy ass crime. Ffs

I always wanted to be an airforce pilot since I was a kid. Then snes came, spent a great deal of hours playing so many games. I got curious on how they were created and although I did it, I always wondered why people blow on cartridges if the game won't start. Fast forward to CS, Diablo 3, Red alert. I was fascinated whenever I type something on the console and something happened, that got me excited. Add that I was using wordstar and programming HTML/CSS in school when I was just 10-11. When I turned 12, I was programming using Borland C++. It just snowballed from there, curiosity and a series of my programs working made me focus a lot of my time talking to computers (especially when I built robots using lego mindstorms). While my classmates were having a hard tim deciding what course to take in college, I was already certain since I was just a sophomore in high school. I will write and talk to computers until I wear thick glasses.

So there it is, my dev story. Apologies for a lengthy post. 😀

So i am a diabetic and carry an insulin pump. Now being in India, the pump is not covered by insurance (for some god forsaken reason that I don’t know) and therefore is not a common sight here (contradictoraly India has a major diabetes problem). So I was at the metro station going through security check and the security personnel asks me what the pump was and asked me to show it to him. Now since insulin pumps are uncommon here I understood his concern and showed it to him. Now I like to carry the pump under my shirt with a clip pouch. So naturally I had to lift up my shirt to show it to him. But this isn’t the highlight of the story.
The guy behind me rised above and started peeking over my shoulder and constantly repeating like a 2 year old child what is this. And that too with my fucking abdomen exposed. I went into rage mode there and then like wtf dude, none of your business just step back a little.
Now my issue is that I do not understand that in their own curiosity, why do people forget to respect others privacy. And a very big problem with medical equipment manufacturing organisations (yeah you medtronic). Why are you only concerned with sales and why not awareness? I mean spreading awareness will only help your sales as more people will become aware about your product and it will be less awkward and concerning for people like me to wear your device out in the public

when you go check your phone for the weather forecast to decide what to wear but get sidetracked by devrant, so you go back to try again, but get sidetracked again

I don’t just want to learn how to scrap together applications.

I want to become an engineer; one that can wear that badge properly.

I spent a day or two reading my peers code base in .NET Core to start learning its wizarding ways. I found myself emulating some of the patterns.

Then I found a tutorial series on putting together a correctly decoupled RESTful API...the same chap wrote an SDK for Azure CosmoDB.

THIS is what I am talking about.

I can’t believe these guys at work have twenty years C# experience between them and they are churning out this shit for more than 1.5x my salary.

I want to become this but I swear half the coding world does NOT care.

I got a median-pay front-end job through a contractor (after a contract from hell...but yeah I didn't learn...) and I'm getting zero assignments after a month and nobody seems to know what my role is.

I'm one month in, and every week I have to email my boss to remind her to sign my paycheck, which is stressful because I'm charging for my time because my assignments are like "Research this" or "look at this Wordpress theme or brand guide". The team never communicates but once a week, and I'm beginning to believe that I'm not a good fit for the team because they are impossible to get a hold of and the sysadmin won't give me access to anything even when I CC my boss. (I don't want to grief this guy...) Despite this, I've been told privately by higher-ups on a few occasions that they plan to hire me full time by November...

My SO thinks that the reason people are so dodgy toward me is because they literally do nothing and I'm breaking the flow of that by asking for things. I'm used to agency output, which can be toxic and where everything is 'due yesterday', and I'm watching this team work on assignments ten times slower than normal. ("You want to change a phone number on a website footer? You'll get it next week...maybe." I can't step on toes because I don't have access...) I'm perfectly fine with having to wear several hats at a low-stress job, but I can't even get my first assignment and I'm still being asked who I am in weekly meetings, or asked things like, "Would you even be willing to relocate here?" (I actually live DOWN THE STREET FROM THE OFFICE!! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE REMOTE? Why am I being asked this question?) It feels like my boss impulse hired me, with zero input from the team, and had no real reason to hire me in the first place...

It could also be another issue: Yeah, my experience is in PHP/JS/React, "but here have a seven year old .NET project and a company laptop with zero documentation and make this form import data to a database we know nothing about." Lead dev won't even talk to me.

I feel like a joke.

I understand we are devs and allowed to wear what we want to a certain extent, but why must people wear flip flops. I don’t want to see/smell your feet for 8 hours

I love it when asshats, that wear testicles for sunglasses, like to ask me a question about my past experience with a given technology. Let's call it "X". After I've said my piece about the desired effect "X" was supposed to achieve, and describe the environment/scope where "X" was used, and describe the pain points I've encountered with it or the headaches "X" has caused in those environments, these camel spunk garglers then try to immediately rebut me by saying that every one of the times they've set "X" technology up it's worked just fine.

So, I kindly remind them that my past experience was in large enterprises where "X" technology just doesn't scale well so I've seen some issues with it.

Spunk Gargler: "Hmmm, must've just not been setup correctly."

I lose my shit (internally of course because I can't afford to be without a job right now.) and say, "I'm not so sure that it wasn't setup correctly, I just don't think that 'X' works properly at the scale of 500+ employee environments well. You've only ever set it up in small offices of like - what, 20 users?"

Shitlord McHerp-a-Derp who's Drunk on Spunk: "Maybe, but it just sounds like a bad configuration was causing those issues to me."

He shuffled back into his office shortly after I basically told him he's a fucking chump playing small team tactics and I've seen shit at scale so I've seen first hand what does and does not work well.

I'm writing this because this is the same fucking imbecile that has only ever encountered a /23 network once before from a client they inherited from a previous MSP team and they didn't know how to "safely change it" to a /24 so they just left it in place.

(BTW, just for the non-networking guys/gals out there, I'm sure you've already guessed it, but a /23 network is NOT a fucking problem!)

These puffy cancerous taint boils that call themselves IT engineers are the fucking problem!

I'm not a dev by trade or training, but trying to learn DevOps, and I can totally see why Dev teams can/sometimes get pissed with infrastructure teams... infrastructure/helpdesk side of IT is full of these fucking meat heads.

Best debugging trick ever:

Wear your fucking glasses while coding so that you do not mistake COMMA(,) with a DOT (.).

So by
1. Doing that (which obviously aren't a huge number) and
2. Cleaning my screen (yes that).

I was able to wrap my head around the issue that almost wasted one day.
So what I intended to pass as string concatenation join operation value actually was being passed as an argument to the underlying function (that wasn't taking care of it and returning a timestamp from thin air).

Murphy's Law in production and practice.
Nice!

Depressing music continues......!

My company is making is sit through what can better be described as "The Dundees".
Those useless, time wasting, self aggrandizing "award cerimonies" that companies use to... dunno, I think to stroke management's ego.
I guess it's part of their compensation package, right there with making the hottest employees wear revealing clothing in order to be "engaged" in "informal team building exercises".
Frankly, I'm glad my sixteen-years-after-my-navy-days ass doesn't qualify.

Fuuuck, why can't they just give themselves bonuses for being "such engaging person-bosses" and let the rest of us just work? Corruption used to be a quick and easy affair. Now it requires soooo much fanfare.

So today was a normal day at the office. My brain stopped functioning after helplessly trying to debug ES6 code for IE 11. So I put my headphones on and went to the loo. (Mind you my headphones have a heavy bass, so they are quite larger than other traditional headphones.)

As I was coming back to my desk, my project manager laughed, pointing to my headphones, and said, "What are these?"

"Headphones!", I said, silently judging him.

He said, "Can't you even put those down for two minutes? You wear them even in the loo!"

Baffled by his utmost stupid sentence, I did the most obvious thing, ignore him.

After about 10 minutes, the manager came to my desk and said, "See, when you walk around with these headphones, people get 'distracted' and are unable to work. So I'd suggest you wear them while still on your seat and remove them when you have to leave the seat. Even the clients might think of you as a weird guy. Okay?"

And I couldn't do anything. I just sat there, nodded and went back to work.

Okay, THAT was trippy.

Soo.. I slowly srart feeling uncomfortable. It's that feeling when you want to move your body to make it go away. Stretch an arm, move a leg or smth... Alright, no biggie - let's move something. But then my focus is overwhelmed by darkness. Hmm... I must be asleep. There's some soothing humming noise in the background. And that feeling's still there. Aaaahh, the numbness is now going away - I must've moved smth! Good job! Drowning back into sleep now. It's ssooo ssweet...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
huh? What's that? Oh, right, I need to move again. That humming sound is so relaxing.. I'll move smth to change that status quo. There, much better now. Let's keep the eyes closed and drift back to sleep. It's so dark though...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
ahh, that feeling again. Come on, I've moved like 4 times already. Well alright, alright, it's better to move that open my eyes or roll over.
Wait...
I can't roll over.
I can't even move my hands. Fuck, must be that sleep paralysis kicking in again. No biggie, it'll wear off if I stay aware long enoug........
*outage*

*...?...*
...nough. What? Did I nod off? That's weird. Meeh, nvm. Why is it so dark though... Okay, let's try to open the eyes. *attempts going on for ~a minute*. No luck. That humming sound, so soothing...
I feel some clothing on my - must be the blanket. So warm.. Nice.I'm feeling - prolly the paralysis is wearing off! Good. A few more minutes and I'll be free to roll over

let's try the eyes once again. Hhhrhrhhh! Nope, not working. Wait, what's that? I turned my body! But somehow...Weirdly. Too easy. There, I did it again! Why is it so easy and I am still feeling paralysed...? Wtf is going on...?

That humming. What IS it..?

Wait! My eyes opened! It's pitch dark in here. Why...? Usually there's at least *some* light in the room. Am I still asleep? Naah, that's not it.. I'm turning my body again. Why did I do that? Wtf is happening?

That humming sound is getting louder and louder, taking all of my attention now.
What is it I'm feeling with my feet? It's hard. And cold.

Wait... AM I STANDING??? What the fuck?!?

Why am i standing??? And that sound - that's... That's... A vent fan in my bathroom!!! Am I standing asleep in my bathroom...? In the middle of the night...? Facing the mirror...? With the lights off....?

WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN?!?!?
HOW THE FUCK DID I GET THERE?!?!?
How long have I been here...?

I HAVE QUESTIONS!!

Fuck it, I'm tired. Time to go to bed. It'll be one mindfuck of a storry tomorrow though...

I think I am strange because I cannot stand perfume.
The smell of perfume irradiate me, the same with smell of leather polish.
I know that most person are fine with perfume and think that they smell nice but for me perfume smell weird.
When I need to go to formal party where almost every person wear perfume (both man and female) , it drain me too quickly.
What are you guy stand of perfume?

Windows - what the fuck! I cannot understand why people WANT to use this - its' buggy, unstable and the user-experience leaves me with the same feeling as when i step on a dog turd barefoot.

I know Linux has been a hard road for many, even a few years back I would do an update and my day would be lost to fixing it. But it's literally made by people in their spare time! Ultra-corp Microsoft fuck it up all the time, with thousands of full time employees!

Gah. Come back steve jobs - I need a hug. (please wear your turtleneck)

What do you guys wear to work? I usually go to work in jeans and T-shirt. And I grow a mustache and beard. But my cousin is suggesting me to do clean shave and wear formals to work everyday. He says that it'll make a good impression in the workplace, like I take work seriously.

I do get his point because I automatically give more respect to people who come to office in formals. But I don't feel comfortable working in formals. Moreover my workplace is very casual and my manager, TL, VP all wear jeans (even torn) and tee.

Hey guys!!...how about the idea to know, what clothes should I wear today, depending upon my mood..using facial recognition

Recep Tayyip Erdogan had a problem — after his army service, he got so used to cold that he could only sleep on a raw, cold metal grill. Usually, normal people put mattress on top, but Erdogan didn’t feel right this way. So, in one of his personal prisons, he established a social project for making a full metal bed for himself.

For starters, to calculate the shape, he took the smallest man ever (3 inches high) with his fingers and sunk him into molten plastic. “What are you doing?! It hurts!” — man screamed. “Shut up. You’re on an important mission. Your motherland won’t forget you.”
After three months, the bed was ready. It was more of the same — metal bars, but this time with some kind of structure built of metal hinges, rebar and strong springs. This was the day — this was the big reveal event. It took place in the same prison — three prisoners were ready to lay on their new full metal beds, while news crews congratulated Erdogan and celebrated his greatness. “Well, it is time!” — he said.
Prisoners laid flat. An awful screeching sound. Prisoner number two is bleeding out. The spring mechanism broke out and impaled his chest onto a large metal bar. He’s not breathing.
“Shut it down. Shut it all down. No more cameras, no more news”, — said Erdogan.
“Yes, our master”, — said news crews.

They wanted to draft me to Afghanistan.
“No!”, — a young officer shouted, misgendering me — “He doesn’t know the stages of pain. Useless.”
“Are you perhaps arguing pain with a bipolar patient?” — I replied.
“You are a rave. Nothing but a rave.”

Raves spawned near your doors at night. Sometimes, they even spawned on the inside. I can’t say you were in danger, but it certainly wasn’t a pleasant thing to happen to anyone. They looked ugly. They dressed weird. They spoke in riddles.
“How do I move to Europe?”, — a rave asked.
“I…”
“Shut up!”
Rave took a door, suspiciously painted over and over multiple times, and started to slam my door with it, using it as a ram.
My door started giving in.

Alarm system.
On a separate note, to disable the alarm system, you have to speedrun Stanley Parable. It’s the hardest speedrun ever, specifically its hidden ending. It disables all alarm systems in three-mile radius IRL. No one knows how it works, but it does. Back to the danger zone!

“The better quality time you spend sitting on your toilet, the more you’ll live.”, — an officer said.
“I once had a girl blow me while I was shitting,” — Matthias replied — “You have nothing on me.”
“Fair enough!”

It is a little known fact, but the liquid that Northern cities use to clean up snow isn’t quite what it seems like. It’s not salt — in reality, there are bases on Mars, and they store pink goo that… “iMpRoVeS” dead bodies. The liquid is biological in nature, and it expires. Expired liquid is recycled as snow melter. You learn that in high school, but now, living on a train, you should know that there are special learning rooms here, in every. single. carriage. The small gym ball with two handles on its sides is called Gandhi ball. Fun fact: if you wear headless Segways on top of your shoes, and then lay flat holding a Gandhi ball, you can reach the speed of 270 kph!

Today’s news: a Reddit moderator and a legless woman gave birth to a living sex toy for their domestic boar.

bro look how cool i am haha lol i know java c c# angular react and php lol haha infact bro i created couple compilers haha lol bro vscode bro more like vssucks lol i use Google Docs for coding haha bro what is windows i use Ubuntu lol for that alpha sigma grindset life haha lol just update 1000 packages a week bro i play with the bootloader like messi plays football bro haha bro i can't exit vim bro i basically stay in it haha lol bro i know all about AI haha LLMs haha im taking an inteview, a shit and solving complex neurological simulations at once bro haha i wear dev related tshirts haha lol bro my house is built on Alexa bro haha ALEXA TURN ON THE LIGHTS see how cool it is bro haha i use OAuth everywhere bro to gain access to my toilet seat haha lol my thumbs hurt so bad lol bro cuz I code all day long bro what are weekends bro I never take leaves bro haha have to stay on that sigma side hustle culture right haha look how many stickers i have on my laptop haha im so cool haha lol.

But I am lonely and go online to tell people how cool I am from my mother's basement.

Got an interview at a financial tech firm. I asked them what I should wear:

Engineering is a casual environment, so we encourage you to wear whatever makes you feel most comfortable. We are focused on your knowledge and skillset, not your outfit, so please come as you are.

Not a suit, OK... but not sure if I should wear weekend casual or my usual business casual/work clothes...

Those mask bruises is the most beautiful and noble thing you can wear. It’s reserved for the most noble occupation only — The Doctor. If I was a doctor and got those bruises during covid, I would’ve worn them like they were the Medal of Honor, even better than that. Nurses said that some people passing by applauded them when they saw the bruises.

Miss me with Covid denial BS — it’s irrelevant here anyway. If you’re a nurse, all that matters to you is the patient in front of you who has the symptoms. You gotta make sure they’ll live. That’s it. And that was exactly what those nurses were doing.

Googled for about 2 hours now and can't get this shit working. Trying to launch the Android Wear Emulator through Android Studio using KitKat 4.4 API. I created a new device within the device manager using 512 MB RAM and 128 MB VM. Square Display.

I am running on osx 10.11 El Capitan on Software Acceleration (because hardware doesnt even boot to the android logo). I get the following error when running using ./emulator:

Error while connecting to socket '127.0.0.1:1970': 61 -> Connection refused
emulator: ASC 127.0.0.1:1970: Retrying connection. Connector FD = 25

What does it mean? I couldnt find an asnwer on the net.

As we’re moving into summer, I can’t help but fall into that “shit I hate this” mentality again. I’m a naturally sweaty person, but even on the edges of summer I feel like my skin has a layer of moist just… sitting there. My sleep is shit, I’m irritated and I never know what to wear to feel comfortable. Just a full season of discomfort. Wish I could just WFH to create a somewhat comfortable environment in summer.

I wonder what the time requirements would be to use a standard lib to animate a robotic arm that chokes people so hard their eyes pop out of their heads

What would be the N per cm2 ? How do I calculate things like mechanical advantage cumulatively over finger segments or should I make it one blunt clamp ?

Is there a sensor I could attach to determine the deformation force and yielding of the flesh beneath the hand so as not to ramp the actuator up too high causing the tips to simply go straight through

And can I wear the thing and operate it via a blue tooth enabled audio capture device so I don’t have to add the scope of a mechanism to lure these bastards close and can just chase them joyously down the halls and position the hand manually around their neck

I’ll call it the mechanized bionic joy inducer

Or maybe arm. The automated rectification machine

Maybe hand

But I don’t know how to fit any word but happiness into that acronym

I’ll think on it again
I hate you all you disgusting garbage filled diseased fucking wastes of space and air ! And who fucking said you people can breathe my air anyway ? It’s my air get your own you chomo fucking fucks !

I'd like to see some Android Wear functionality for the app like seeing which post or comment if mine was +1'd or what someone commented so I can see and +/-1 it.

And as a general inquiry, how many people here use Android Wear?

!tech (just unhappy thoughts , read on your own risk)

Just wanted to share life update that it's still sucking and getting worse.

5 months ago i shared an update regarding my testicle swelling up which i thought was caused by something that I did wrong. Well I didn't got to know what was the reason, but I got to know something: that it was indeed a cancer of stage 3.

And Yes, It went as shitty as it could:

- They took away my testicle, left me one balled.

- The they asked for a sperm test, turns out my remaining ball is no longer producing any healthy sperms and I am childless for life

- then they took some blood test and analysed my ball. turns out that not only I had cancer but rather a spreading cancer which has spread to my lungs and stomach. I would need one of the strongest chemo out there.

- then the chemo started and it also gave its gifts : i , an already short built , fat ass ugly looking guy now had its head/beard bald as a rotten egg . (this could take months to years to recover)

- I also now have a scarred lungs that feel pain when doing anything more than a speed walk (which could be permanent)

- I also have a tingling sensation in ears (which if permanent would require me to wear a machine for life)

- All my nerves in hand are super dark and looks like burn marks ( would probably recover in weeks) and feel painful

---------

All this was bearable in the hopes that after chemo , atleast the cancer will die. well the cancer ain't dead and blood tests are still concerning. they have given another 1 month to get a retest in case the chemo meds are still working internally but after 1 month ,if things don't go right then further treatment will be needed.

And only those folks know what would be the treatment. are they going to give me more chemo gifts , or are they going to take away more of my parts, choose your own dark shit, yay!

My 2024 already started on am awesome shitty note : i fractured my left arm and got a plate inside of me. All i was hoping for 2025 was to get that plate removed and hit the gym again. But nope, god had even more awesome shit for me .

at the age where some of my friends are getting married, some are having kids and some are travelling the world, I am here sitting in my room, being worse than a paper weight, being a burden to the family and living a useless life.

Thanks life, awesome workthere with the luck on this one. now do the final steps and KILL ME

I started thinking on how ML can help in hacking but before that I got another doubt on how you can be a effective hacker and started looking into all ways of being a hacker but later convinced myself that hacking is not just a tuxedo jacket to wear it's more of you watching duncrick movie multiple times and understanding what exactly the movie all about so any leads for resources to cultivate that mind set of being a hacker and any links/material to follow and practise would be of great help

@dfox
first, avatars are a great idea!

BUT I dont eant to wait until i have "n ++" to change the what computer (mac/non mac) is on my avatar/profile image. [the thing with the desk and watch is ok, but i think unnessesary. I wear a moto 360 every day so why schiuld i have none or another one that dose bot look like the one i am wearing on my profile picture]

COULD "BADGES" BE A SOLUTION ?

Just for fun, so if you don't like fun, or humor, stop reading.

Someone in a thread once suggested toppling KFC (a joke of course)

But really, think about it, topple KFC? Why? Everyone knows Chick-fil-A or Wendy's will replace them one day anyway.

Join the "fresh never frozen" rebellion today.

The colonel is some fucking confederate-type anyway.

Clearly KFC appears to be part of the giant commie pinko modern slave state.

If they were real homies they'd sell grape drink.

But do they?

No.

Because it's all about them profits.

They want to be Master.

What's next we're all gonna be forced to wear chicken suits and stand in line begging for tendies while praising a giant golden idol of colonel Sanders like some 2021 throwback to an Aztec god?

Probably Human sacrifices after that. It's an old ritual. When civilizations (we live in a society) run out of meat what do they eat?

Soylent green is people.

Finger licking good.

Praise Sanders. (And please don't sacrifice me next Mr. Sanders! Ill work harder at this writing thing I swear!)

So how does an experienced programmer break his own code in a such a terrible manner.

And why would someone try to make me embrace a bogus thing I KNOW doesn't work to make sure its broken ?
See this is what I hate about this shit.

No programmer would make the mistake that was made. They converted all their classes that interpret STRING VALUES using a parse to BitConverter.

(The input is a byte array) for like, ALL THEIR CLASSES.

Again this seems fucking intentional.
Instead of letting it remain a goddamn class that handed around an open file stream with a binaryreader around it which was simple, they tried some fucking fancy shit and throw readonlyspan<byte> at a read method which is where the code WILL fuck up ! wtf is wrong with you fucking dumb bastards ? IF YOU DONT WANT THE CHOMS GETTING AHEAD SHOOT THEM JESUS CHRIST !

Maybe this is some special interests shit to make sure ArcGis remains the dominant gis package and no ordinary lowly programmer can have a reader to get started with their own manipulations.

YOu fucking bastards screwed up the world and i want to eat your fucking hearts from your chests and wear your fucking scalps and ears on a fucking necklace while burning down your fucking houses !

AND FIX THAT GODDAMN STEAM RELEASE VALVE !!!

I know what I'll do !
I'll color and number code society by some strange esoteric set of unknown creepy crappy concepts and keep adding to them until a subset of people behaves like annoying stupid freaks depending on the color of the shirt I wear a specific day !

That will make everything so much easier than having a multi palette wardrobe !

That way I can reduce the world down to a bunch of retarded pygmy rejects with an extra layer of stupidity added !

Doesn't that sound like a good idea ?

I believed the only thing that could humble me was leg day. Guess clicking a shady update link can humble you quicker than a botched deadlift. I had developed my app from the ground up, and that Bitcoin reserve was meant to fuel our international expansion. One minute I was meal-prepping protein pancakes; the next, my wallet was thinner than my fridge on cheat day.

My pulse raced as though I was half-burpee. Panic. Sweating. Guilt. I refreshed the page like cardio, praying the money would somehow reappear. Spoiler: It didn't.

After a long night Googling “how to undo catastrophic life mistakes,” I landed on a cybersecurity webinar. The host casually dropped the name Mighty Hacker Recovery like it was common knowledge. To me, they sounded like the Gandalf of Bitcoin, so I figured they could probably handle my little meltdown.

I reached out to them in a panic, the equivalent of a person who's just discovered they double-booked leg day and pizza night. They responded quicker than my personal best sprint time. They were cool, they were professional, and, most importantly, they didn't laugh when I described how I basically bench-pressed my life savings directly into nothingness.

They got to work immediately. Their team of tech wizards (I’m convinced they actually wear robes) dissected the malware and traced the funds like a GPS tracker on my dignity. Every day, they updated me with progress reports that somehow balanced technical jargon and emotional support, the digital equivalent of a personal trainer shouting, “You got this!” while you struggle under a barbell.

Nine days later, I got the call. Funds recovered. I nearly did a victory lap around my living room but pulled a hamstring from pure excitement. Typical. Due to Mighty Hacker Recovery, I didn't simply get my money back; I got a crash course in cybersecurity that rivals my toughest boot camp. My new digital security routine now rivals my meal plan. I have more passwords than protein shake recipes and back-ups on top of other back-ups.

If you value your gains, both financial and physical, trust me, you want Mighty Hacker Recovery in your corner. They spot you when it matters most. What$app Numb3r + 1 4 0 4 2 4 5 6 4 1 5 email support (at) mightyhackerrecovery (dot) com

RECOVERING FUNDS FROM FRAUDULENT INVESTMENT WEBSITE HIRE ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST

The future was mine to shape. I had $675,000 in Bitcoin tucked away—fuel for my regulatory tech startup, designed to bridge the chasm between crypto’s anarchy and the rigid grip of government oversight. For once, I thought I had everything lined up. But then came MiCA—the EU’s Markets in Crypto-Assets regulation—dropping like a divine gavel. Overnight, my exchange account was frozen tighter than a tax audit, and my dreams of “simple compliance” were buried under an avalanche of bureaucracy.

For a week, I flailed in a purgatory of legal jargon and sleepless nights. Terms like “AML Directives” and “KYC enforcement” blurred together as I battled to stay hopeful. My startup was stillborn, a sandcastle erased before the tide had even turned. WhatsApp info:+12 (72332)—8343

I clung to the Bhagavad Gita: “It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of someone else’s life with perfection.” But what was I living now? Not destiny—just defeat.

Then fate arrived—wearing a name badge. At a Europol cybersecurity summit, over stale pastries and lukewarm coffee, a compliance officer leaned in and whispered a name: ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST. Her voice lowered with reverence. “They don’t just recover lost crypto,” she said, “they navigate regulations like Krishna on the battlefield.”

I reached out that day. Website info: h t t p s:// adware recovery specialist. com

From the first call, their team exuded both technical brilliance and legal fluency. They didn’t just understand blockchain—they understood bureaucracy. They worked directly with my exchange, leveraging my compliance documents and crafting arguments laced with regulatory nuance. No brute force—just legal kung fu. Email info: Adware recovery specialist (@) auctioneer. net

Every day brought updates, each one a balm. “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet,” one advisor told me, as I counted the hours. On day 14, the fruit ripened. My funds were released, glinting in my digital wallet like a blessing from Lakshmi. Telegram info: h t t p s:// t. me/ adware recovery specialist1

But ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST didn’t stop there. They secured my accounts with fortress-grade protection, brought me up to speed on evolving regulations, and helped lay a foundation that no wave could wash away.

Now, my startup is alive. Our platform helps others navigate the MiCA labyrinth. When people ask how I survived my first encounter with regulation, I smile and say, “There are ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST among us. They just wear suits.”

So if you’re caught between red tape and a hard place, call ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST . Sometimes, salvation isn’t a miracle—it’s just a well-written email.

Staunch Concrete Construction, LLC: Your Trusted Concrete Contractor for Parking Pads and Sidewalks in New Braunfels

When it comes to concrete construction services in New Braunfels, Staunch Concrete Construction, LLC stands out as a reliable and professional contractor. Whether you're looking to install a Concrete Parking Pad in New Braunfels or need a Concrete Sidewalk in New Braunfels, our skilled team has the expertise to deliver high-quality results that last for years to come.

We take pride in offering durable, attractive, and cost-effective concrete solutions that will enhance your property’s functionality and curb appeal. Let us help you create well-constructed, lasting concrete features for your home or business!

Concrete Parking Pads in New Braunfels: A Practical and Durable Solution
A Concrete Parking Pad in New Braunfels offers a convenient and durable place to park your vehicles, adding value and practicality to your property. Whether you need an extra parking space, a dedicated area for recreational vehicles (RVs), or a pad for heavy-duty equipment, we can design and install a solution tailored to your specific needs.

At Staunch Concrete Construction, LLC, we understand the importance of a sturdy and reliable parking pad. That’s why we use only high-quality materials and proven techniques to ensure your concrete parking pad can withstand the elements, heavy traffic, and everyday wear and tear. Whether it’s for residential or commercial purposes, we make sure your parking pad is level, secure, and built to last.

Concrete Sidewalks in New Braunfels: Enhance Accessibility and Aesthetics
A Concrete Sidewalk in New Braunfels is a crucial element of your property’s accessibility and appearance. Whether you're creating a walkway that leads to your front door, adds charm to your garden, or guides visitors around your commercial space, a well-built concrete sidewalk can make a significant difference.

At Staunch Concrete Construction, LLC, we specialize in designing and installing custom concrete sidewalks that are both functional and attractive. From basic walkways to decorative patterns and textures, we work with you to create a sidewalk that complements your property’s style and layout. Our expert team ensures the sidewalk is constructed to meet all safety standards while providing smooth, durable paths for pedestrians.

Why Choose Staunch Concrete Construction for Your Concrete Parking Pad or Sidewalk?
Here’s why Staunch Concrete Construction, LLC is the go-to choice for concrete parking pads and sidewalks in New Braunfels:

Expert Craftsmanship
Our team has extensive experience working with concrete, ensuring that every parking pad and sidewalk is installed with precision and attention to detail. We are committed to delivering the highest quality of work on every project.

Customization to Fit Your Needs
We understand that every property is unique, and we offer a variety of design options to suit your preferences and requirements. Whether you want a simple parking pad or a decorative sidewalk, we work with you to ensure your vision becomes a reality.

Durable and Long-Lasting Solutions
Concrete is known for its durability, and at Staunch Concrete Construction, LLC, we ensure that your concrete parking pad and sidewalk will stand the test of time. Our materials are high-quality, and our installation methods are designed to withstand the elements and heavy use.

Affordable and Transparent Pricing
We believe that high-quality concrete services should be accessible and affordable. Our pricing is competitive, and we offer transparent estimates with no hidden costs, so you know exactly what you’re getting.

Reliable and Timely Service
We value your time and aim to complete every project on schedule without sacrificing quality. Our team works efficiently to ensure that your concrete parking pad or sidewalk is finished in a timely manner, allowing you to enjoy your new features sooner.

Contact Staunch Concrete Construction, LLC Today!
If you’re looking to install a Concrete Parking Pad or a Concrete Sidewalk in New Braunfels, Staunch Concrete Construction, LLC is here to help. We are dedicated to providing high-quality concrete services that enhance the beauty and functionality of your property. Whether it’s for residential or commercial needs, we offer reliable, cost-effective solutions you can count on.

For a free estimate or to learn more about our services, give us a call at +1 (830) 660-1133 or visit us at 1175 Hilltop Oaks, New Braunfels, TX 78132. We look forward to working with you on your next concrete project!

Soft wear tech is a platform designed to help you recover lost coins, wallets, and cryptocurrencies.
When thieves stole a staggering $900,000 worth of Bitcoin from my digital wallet, I was devastated. As an experienced cryptocurrency investor, I had always taken pride in my security measures, believing my assets were safe. Nonetheless, these skilled hackers breached my defenses and made off with my hard-earned digital coins, leaving me not only with a significant financial loss but also with a feeling of violated trust and security.
Refusing to let the criminals get away with their actions, I took immediate steps to address the situation. I reported the theft to the authorities, fully aware that tracing cryptocurrency transactions is notoriously difficult. However, I was determined to pursue every avenue available. That’s when I discovered the innovative services offered by SOFT WEAR TECH, a company specializing in tracking and recovering stolen digital assets.
The dedicated team at SOFT WEAR TECH quickly sprang into action, meticulously analyzing the blockchain transaction data to follow the money trail. Thanks to their exceptional investigative skills and cutting-edge tools, they were able to pinpoint the location of my stolen Bitcoin and initiate the recovery process. It was a long and arduous battle, with the thieves attempting to cover their tracks and move the funds. Yet, the SOFT WEAR TECH team remained resolute, outsmarting the criminals at every turn.
After weeks of relentless effort, they successfully reclaimed my $900,000 in Bitcoin and returned it to me. I was overjoyed—not only was my investment restored, but I also felt a sense of triumph over those who thought they could escape unscathed. This experience has heightened my vigilance and commitment to security in cryptocurrency investing, and I am deeply grateful to have had the SOFT WEAR TECH team fighting to protect what belongs to me.
For inquiries, feel free to reach out via
Email: softweartech5@gmail.
Email: softewar.tech@yandex
Phone : +1 9594003352

Life can unravel in an instant. For me, that moment came when deceitful cryptocurrency brokers vanished with £40,000 of my savings, a devastating blow that left me paralyzed by shame and despair. The aftermath was a fog of sleepless nights, self-doubt, and a crushing sense of betrayal. I questioned every choice, wondering how I’d fallen for such a scheme. Hope felt like a luxury I no longer deserved. Then, Tech Cyber Force Recovery emerged like a compass in a storm. Skeptical yet desperate, I reached out, half-expecting another dead end. What I found, however, was a team that radiated both expertise and empathy. From our first conversation, they treated my crisis not as a case file, but as a human tragedy. Their professionalism was matched only by their compassion, a rare combination in the often impersonal world of finance.
What happened next defied logic. Within 72 hours of sharing my story, they traced the labyrinth of blockchain transactions, outmaneuvering the scammers with surgical precision. When their email arrived, “Funds recovered, secure and intact,” I wept. It wasn’t just the money; it was the validation that justice could prevail. Tech Cyber Force Recovery didn’t just restore my finances, they resurrected my dignity. But their impact ran deeper. They demystified the recovery process, educating me without judgment. Their transparency became a lifeline, transforming my fear into understanding. Where I saw chaos, they saw patterns; where I felt powerless, they instilled agency. Today, I’m rebuilding not just my savings, but my trust in humanity. Tech Cyber Force Recovery taught me that vulnerability isn’t weakness, and that seeking help is an act of courage. To those still trapped in the aftermath of fraud: miracles exist. They wear no capes, but they wield algorithms and integrity like superheroes. To the extraordinary Tech Cyber Force Recovery team, your work is more than technical prowess. It’s alchemy, turning despair into resilience. You gave me more than my funds; you gave me my future. May your light guide countless others through their darkest nights. From the depths of my heart: Thank you.

Consult Tech Cyber Force Recovery for help.

MAIL.. Tech cybers force recovery @ cyber services . com

Alternative to Knee Replacement in the UK: Regenerative Knee Therapy for Arthritis at Kneevolution, Hexham

Facing the possibility of a knee replacement can be daunting. While surgery may be necessary in some advanced cases, many people are searching for an effective, non-invasive alternative to knee replacement in the UK. At Kneevolution – 7 Non-Surgical Knee Solutions, we offer innovative and highly effective regenerative knee therapy for arthritis, helping patients find lasting relief without going under the knife.

Conveniently located at Halliwell Dene Hall, Hexham NE46 1HW, United Kingdom, our private clinic specialises in helping people manage knee osteoarthritis through science-backed, non-surgical solutions.

Why Consider an Alternative to Knee Replacement?
Knee replacement surgery carries risks: long recovery times, complications, implant wear, and, in some cases, persistent pain. At Kneevolution, we believe that many patients can avoid surgery altogether by addressing the root cause of their joint deterioration with regenerative therapies.

These therapies focus on stimulating the body’s natural healing processes—reducing pain, restoring joint function, and slowing the progression of arthritis.

What Is Regenerative Knee Therapy for Arthritis?
Regenerative knee therapy uses advanced, non-surgical techniques to promote healing and restore joint health. At Kneevolution, our regenerative treatments include:

Arthrosamid® hydrogel injections for long-term joint cushioning

EMTT (Extracorporeal Magnetotransduction Therapy) to improve cellular repair and reduce inflammation

Shockwave therapy to stimulate tissue regeneration and relieve pain

Hyaluronic acid injections to enhance joint lubrication

Rehabilitation protocols and joint offloading techniques

These therapies are ideal for patients who want a safe, non-invasive approach that supports long-term joint health—especially when used as part of our comprehensive, 7-step solution.

Why Choose Kneevolution?
As one of the few clinics in the UK focusing exclusively on non-surgical knee care, Kneevolution is uniquely positioned to help you avoid surgery and return to an active, pain-free lifestyle.

No surgery. No downtime. No general anaesthetic.

Fast access to cutting-edge treatments.

Private, serene setting in the heart of Hexham.

Expert team with years of clinical experience.

A full spectrum of options for every stage of knee arthritis.

If you're searching for the best alternative to knee replacement in the UK, our regenerative approach could be the answer you've been looking for.

Start Your Recovery Today
If you’re ready to explore regenerative knee therapy for arthritis or want to find a trusted alternative to knee replacement in the UK, call +44 1434 267111 to book your consultation at Kneevolution – 7 Non-Surgical Knee Solutions.

Visit us at Halliwell Dene Hall, Hexham NE46 1HW, United Kingdom and discover how you can take back control of your knees—naturally, and without surgery.

HIRE A BITCOIN RECOVERY COMPANY; A TRUSTED CRYPTO RECOVERY EXPERT| VISIT CYBER CONSTABLE INTELLIGENCE

Life can unravel in an instant. For me, that moment came when deceitful cryptocurrency brokers vanished with £140,000 of my savings, a devastating blow that left me paralyzed by shame and despair. The aftermath was a fog of sleepless nights, self-doubt, and a crushing sense of betrayal. I questioned every choice, wondering how I’d fallen for such a scheme. Hope felt like a luxury I no longer deserved. Then, like a compass in a storm, Cyber Constable Intelligence emerged. Skeptical yet desperate, I reached out, half-expecting another dead end. What I found, however, was a team that radiated both expertise and empathy. From our first conversation, they treated my crisis not as a case file, but as a human tragedy. Their professionalism was matched only by their compassion, a rare combination in the often impersonal world of finance. What happened next defied logic. Within 72 hours of sharing my story, they traced the labyrinth of blockchain transactions, outmaneuvering the scammers with surgical precision. When their email arrived “Funds recovered, secure and intact” I wept. It wasn’t just the money; it was the validation that justice would prevail. Cyber Constable Intelligence didn’t just restore my finances, they resurrected my dignity. But their impact ran deeper. They demystified the recovery process, educating me without judgment. Their transparency became a lifeline, transforming my fear into understanding. Where I saw chaos, they saw patterns; where I felt powerless, they instilled agency. Today, I’m rebuilding not just my savings, but my trust in humanity. Cyber Constable Intelligence taught me that vulnerability isn’t weakness, and that seeking help is an act of courage. To those still trapped in the aftermath of fraud: miracles exist. They wear no capes, but they wield algorithms and integrity like superheroes. To the extraordinary team at Cyber Constable Intelligence your work is more than technical prowess. It’s alchemy, turning despair into resilience. You gave me more than my funds; you gave me my future. May your light guide countless others through their darkest nights. From the depths of my heart: Thank you.
For More Info Visit
WhatsApp: 1 252378-7611
Email Info: cyberconstable@coolsite net
Website info; www cyberconstableintelligence com
Telegram Info: + 1 213 752 7487

Find Your Perfect Look with Our Women’s Clothing Online Collection

If you’re looking for the latest fashion trends in women’s clothing, you’ll find everything you need in our online collection. From casual wear to formal attire, we offer a wide range of stylish and trendy options to suit every taste and occasion. Shop now and discover your perfect style!
Browse a Wide Range of Styles.
Our women’s clothing online collection offers a wide range of styles to choose from. Whether you’re looking for casual wear, work attire, or formal dresses, we have something for everyone. From classic pieces to the latest fashion trends, our collection is constantly updated to keep you looking stylish and on-trend. Shop now and find your perfect look!
Find the Perfect Fit.
At our online store, we understand that finding the perfect fit is essential to feeling confident and comfortable in your clothes. That’s why we offer a variety of sizes and styles to fit every body type. Our detailed size charts and customer reviews make it easy to find the right fit for you. Plus, with our easy returns and exchanges policy, you can shop with confidence knowing that you’ll always find the perfect fit.
Shop for Any Occasion.
Whether you’re looking for casual wear, work attire, or a special occasion outfit, our women’s clothing online collection has you covered. From comfortable and stylish loungewear to elegant dresses and formal wear, we have a wide range of options to suit any occasion. Plus, with new arrivals added regularly, you can always find the latest trends and styles to keep your wardrobe fresh and up-to-date.
Shop now and find your perfect look!
Stay on Trend with the Latest Fashion.
Our women’s clothing online collection is constantly updated with the latest fashion trends, so you can stay on top of your style game. From bold prints and bright colors to classic neutrals and timeless pieces, we have something for every fashion-forward woman. Whether you’re looking for a statement piece to elevate your outfit or a versatile staple to mix and match, our collection has it all. Shop now and stay on trend with the latest fashion.

Enjoy Easy and Convenient Online Shopping.
Shopping for women’s clothing has never been easier or more convenient than with our online collection. With just a few clicks, you can browse through our extensive selection of stylish and trendy pieces, and have them delivered right to your doorstep. No more crowded malls or long lines at the checkout. Plus, our user-friendly website makes it easy to find exactly what you’re looking for, whether it’s a specific style, color, or size. Shop now and enjoy the convenience of online shopping.

Expert Garage Door Service: Professional Garage Door Tune-Up in Scottsdale, AZ

Your garage door plays a crucial role in the safety and functionality of your home or business. It’s one of the most frequently used parts of your property, and over time, regular use can cause wear and tear on its components. To ensure that your garage door remains in top working condition, it’s essential to have it properly maintained with a garage door tune-up. At Expert Garage Door Service, we provide expert garage door tune-up services in Scottsdale, AZ, and the surrounding areas. Our goal is to keep your garage door operating smoothly, extend its lifespan, and prevent costly repairs down the road.

What Is a Garage Door Tune-Up?
A garage door tune-up is a comprehensive service that involves inspecting, cleaning, and adjusting various components of your garage door system. Regular tune-ups are essential for maintaining optimal performance and ensuring that all parts of your garage door are functioning correctly. Just like a car needs regular oil changes and maintenance, your garage door requires periodic inspections and adjustments to keep it running smoothly.

Why Is a Garage Door Tune-Up Important?
There are several key reasons why a garage door tune-up is an essential service for your home or business:

1. Prevent Unexpected Breakdowns
A garage door tune-up helps identify potential issues before they become major problems. By catching issues early, such as worn-out springs or misaligned tracks, you can avoid costly repairs or complete system failure. Regular maintenance ensures that your garage door operates smoothly and reliably for years to come.

2. Extend the Lifespan of Your Garage Door
With routine tune-ups, your garage door and its components will last longer. By keeping springs, cables, tracks, and openers in good condition, you can delay the need for replacements and save money on long-term repairs. A well-maintained garage door can last anywhere from 15 to 30 years, depending on the quality of the system and how well it is cared for.

3. Enhance Safety and Security
A malfunctioning garage door can be a safety hazard. Worn-out springs or cables can lead to the door unexpectedly falling, which could cause injury or property damage. A garage door tune-up ensures that all safety features, such as auto-reverse functions and sensors, are working correctly, protecting both your family and your property.

4. Improve Performance
Regular maintenance ensures that your garage door operates efficiently. A well-tuned system runs more quietly, opens and closes more smoothly, and uses less energy. If your garage door is noisy or struggles to open, a tune-up can often resolve these issues, making your door work like new.

5. Increase Energy Efficiency
If your garage door isn’t sealed properly or its insulation is damaged, it can cause energy loss. A tune-up includes checking the seals and weather stripping around your door to ensure it’s properly insulated, helping you save on energy bills by keeping your home better protected from outdoor temperatures.

What Does a Garage Door Tune-Up Include?
At Expert Garage Door Service, we provide a thorough and detailed garage door tune-up that includes the following:

1. Visual Inspection
Our technicians will perform a complete visual inspection of your garage door system, looking for any signs of wear or damage. We check the tracks, springs, cables, rollers, and other components to identify any potential issues.

2. Lubrication of Moving Parts
We apply high-quality lubricants to the moving parts of your garage door, such as the rollers, hinges, and springs. Lubricating these components reduces friction, prevents premature wear, and ensures smoother operation.

3. Spring and Cable Tension Adjustment
Proper spring tension is essential for the safe operation of your garage door. We’ll inspect the springs and cables and make any necessary adjustments to ensure they’re properly tensioned. This helps maintain balanced operation and prevents unnecessary strain on your opener and other components.

4. Track Alignment and Adjustment
Misaligned tracks can cause your garage door to move unevenly or get stuck. We’ll inspect and adjust the tracks to ensure they’re properly aligned, which will keep your door moving smoothly without resistance.

5. Opener Adjustment
Your garage door opener is the heart of the system. During a tune-up, we’ll inspect the opener and adjust its settings to ensure it operates at peak performance. This includes checking the force settings, travel limits, and safety features.

You know it can be said that all our faculties have been developed from a hodgepodge of codeveloping chemical and physical processes
Consistently being reduced to survival only scenarios greatly diminishes the smartest of us

I mean I watch these people glut themselves on betraying their young but what else defines them ? They just wear the skin of the prior generations but they have none of the core attributes

If you ask me they have no core attributes worth mentioning and they’ve made me simple too

And why do they expect the sacrifice of actual life for the one thing that it combined with that life would remove all the problems ? Don’t get it

Gallery Dept Clothing: A curated collection that transcends fashion, it's a visual symphony where each piece is a brushstroke on the canvas of style. With avant-garde designs, hand-painted details, and a rebellious spirit, Gallery Dept transforms clothing into wearable art. This isn't just a collection; it's an exhibition of individuality, inviting you to step into a world where fashion becomes a form of expression. In the realm of Gallery Dept, clothing goes beyond the utilitarian and becomes a celebration of creativity, pushing the boundaries of conventional style. It's not just about what you wear; it's about the story you tell with each garment, making Gallery Dept Clothing a unique journey of self-expression and sartorial innovation.

How to write a great resume and Linkedin when im playing 3 roles at my current job?

Iwear many hats right now on my Job (you can check my LinkedIn, the link is on my devRant profile).

Right now im looking forward change job in 3 months or so, mostly due to non flexible working hours and somewhat toxic environment.

The problem im facing right now, id how to put all the stuff im doing right now in my profile without it sounding crazy or something like that.

I also see companies open positions for very specific roles, so i dont know how write a resume to apply to a job without excluding half of my skills from it to looks "specialized".

Other factor is that i really have fun doing diverse things on my Job, it is boring for me do a single thing for months.

How can i include everything i know in my resume? or what job title can resume all my expertise?

Thanks guys!

PD: If you are in an small startup, and trive working with people that wear many hats, contact me on LinkedIn! i can consider your offer

Transform Your Space with Expert Vinyl Installation from Herman Renovations in Florida

At Herman Renovations, we understand that choosing the right flooring for your home is essential to both its style and functionality. Vinyl installation is a popular choice for homeowners who want a durable, cost-effective, and stylish option that can withstand high traffic and everyday use. If you're considering updating your floors, our expert vinyl installation services in Florida are here to help you achieve a stunning, long-lasting result.

Why Choose Vinyl Flooring for Your Home?
Vinyl flooring has grown in popularity for its versatility, affordability, and durability. At Herman Renovations, we specialize in vinyl installation that enhances the look of your home while providing the benefits you need. Here are just a few reasons why vinyl flooring is a great choice for your home:

Durability: Vinyl is incredibly durable and resistant to scratches, stains, and water damage. This makes it an ideal choice for high-traffic areas such as kitchens, bathrooms, and hallways, as well as rooms exposed to moisture.
Affordable: Vinyl flooring is a budget-friendly option compared to hardwood, stone, and other premium flooring materials. It gives you the look of high-end flooring without breaking the bank.
Variety of Styles: Vinyl flooring comes in a wide range of styles, including designs that mimic wood, stone, tile, and more. Whether you want the look of hardwood floors or a sleek stone design, vinyl can achieve your desired aesthetic.
Easy Maintenance: Vinyl is easy to clean and maintain. Simply sweep or mop the floors, and they’ll look great for years to come. This low-maintenance feature makes it perfect for busy homeowners.
Comfortable Underfoot: Unlike harder flooring materials like tile or stone, vinyl offers a softer, more comfortable surface to walk on. It’s an excellent option if you stand for long periods or want a cozy, warm floor for your living space.
Our Vinyl Installation Services
At Herman Renovations, we specialize in professional vinyl installation for residential and commercial properties in Florida. Whether you want to upgrade a single room or your entire home, our skilled team is here to provide high-quality installation with attention to detail. Here's what we offer:

Residential Vinyl Installation
From living rooms and bedrooms to kitchens and bathrooms, we install vinyl flooring throughout your home. Our team helps you choose the perfect style and finish that suits your space and ensures a flawless installation every time.

Commercial Vinyl Installation
We also provide vinyl installation services for businesses and commercial properties. Vinyl is an excellent choice for offices, retail spaces, and more, thanks to its durability and easy maintenance. Our team works around your schedule to minimize disruption to your business.

Custom Vinyl Flooring Designs
Looking for something unique? We can create custom vinyl flooring designs that match your aesthetic. Whether you're interested in a specific pattern or want a bold, eye-catching design, we can help bring your vision to life.

Vinyl Plank and Vinyl Sheet Installation
We offer both vinyl plank and vinyl sheet installation options to suit your preferences. Vinyl planks are ideal for creating a wood-look finish, while vinyl sheets are great for achieving seamless, water-resistant floors in bathrooms and kitchens.

Vinyl Tile Installation
If you’re looking for the look of natural stone or ceramic tiles, vinyl tiles are a great option. Our team will install vinyl tiles with precision, ensuring an elegant and durable result.

Benefits of Choosing Herman Renovations for Vinyl Installation
When you choose Herman Renovations for your vinyl installation, you're partnering with experienced professionals who are committed to delivering excellent results. Here’s why our services stand out:

Expert Installation: Our skilled installers have years of experience with vinyl flooring, ensuring that your floors are installed correctly and last for years. We ensure every plank or tile is aligned perfectly, creating a flawless finish.
High-Quality Products: We work with top-quality vinyl flooring brands that are durable and designed to withstand everyday wear. Our team ensures that your floors not only look great but also stand up to the test of time.
Affordable Pricing: We understand the importance of staying within budget. Herman Renovations offers competitive pricing for vinyl flooring installation with no hidden fees, so you can transform your space without breaking the bank.
Personalized Service: We take the time to understand your specific needs and preferences. Whether you want a modern look or a more classic design, we help you choose the perfect vinyl flooring option that suits your home or business.