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Yes Linus Torvalds is an asshole and the world is better because of it.
In short Linus's acid takes on code quality over developer fee fee's might be one of the things that has made the Linux kernel and the GNU/Linux project such a long lasting open source success and in my opinion the risk of him falling for all this "let's be nice and non offensive" bs trend may impact negatively on code quality.
Being an asshole has it's downsides and it's not always the best response, I'll give you that, but personally I think most of us who are viewed as assholes are seen like that because we put quality over convenience, facts before feelings and dedication over mediocrity; it is not because we hate you, it's because we measure ourselves with the same stick.
It depends on one's character, but when you've been toughened up because of bullying(I don't doubt many devs have been since being a nerd has never been hip) or life in general, you learn to stop whining & pick yourself up and you expect everyone to be competitive and competent as you are and it gets frustrating to manage people who don't fulfill your expectations.
Pros: You get shit done and you do it well.
Cons: People won't like you and you don't tolerate failure (much less mediocrity).
Yes Linus is an asshole, my coach was an asshole, some of my best teacher's have been assholes, I had friends who were assholes, heck I'm an asshole!
But I thank them because they made me better than I was, just as people have thanked me for being the right amount of asshole.
A warm thank you and fuck you Linus, keep being the asshole we need.
36 -
To replace humans with robots, because human beings are complete shit at everything they do.
I am a chemist. My alignment is not lawful good. I've produced lots of drugs. Mostly just drugs against illnesses. Mostly.
But whatever my alignment or contribution to the world as a chemist... Human chemists are just fucking terrible at their job. Not for a lack of trying, biological beings just suck at it.
Suiting up for a biosafety level lab costs time. Meatbags fuck up very often, especially when tired. Humans whine when they get acid in their face, or when they have to pour and inhale carcinogenic substances. They also work imprecisely and inaccurately, even after thousands of hours of training and practice.
Weaklings! Robots are superior!
So I replaced my coworkers with expensive flow chemistry setups with probes and solenoid fluid valves. I replaced others with CUDA simulations.
First at a pharma production & research lab, then at a genetics lab, then at an Industrial R&D lab.
Many were even replaced by Raspberry Pi's with two servos and a PH meter attached, and I broke open second hand Fischer Sci spectrophotometers to attach arduinos with WiFi boards.
The issue was that after every little overzealous weekend project, I made myself less necessary as well.
So I jumped into the infinitely deep shitpool called webdev.
App & web development is kind of comfortable, there's always one more thing to do, but there's no pressure where failure leads to fatalities (I think? Wait... do I still care?).
Super chill, if it weren't for the delusion that making people do "frontend" and "fullstack" labor isn't a gross violation of the Geneva Convention.
Quickly recognizing that I actually don't want to be tortured and suffer from nerve damage caused by VueX or have my organs slowly liquefied by the radiation from some insane transpiling centrifuge, I did what any sane person would do.
Get as far away from the potential frontend blast radius as possible, hide in a concrete bunker.
So I became a data engineer / database admin.
That's where I'm quarantining now, safely hiding from humanity behind a desk, employed to write a MySQL migration or two, setting up Redis sorted sets, adding a field to an Elastic index. That takes care of generating cognac and LSD money.
But honestly.... I actually spend most of my time these days contributing to open source repositories, especially writing & maintaining Rust libraries.10 -
Woohoo! 32k achieved!!! Finally I can post some new rant without risking some sudden overshoot 😁
So putting celebrations aside for a minute, a while ago I've noticed a tingle when I stroke my finger across metal areas of my tablet, or the sides of my phone (which probably has metal near it too) while it's charging. And it's been bugging me ever since.
Now, some things to note are that it only happens when my feet are touching the ground though slippers, and that the frequency is so low that I can actually feel the tingle when I slide my finger across the material. This to me at least seems like electricity flows through me into ground, and touching the ground directly provides a path so easy for the electrons to run away that I don't feel it at all. But if I lift my feet off the ground entirely, I just get charged up and after that, nothing else happens.
So those are my ideas. The answers on the subject on the other hand.. absolute cancer. Unsurprisingly, most of them came from Apple users. Here's some of them.
https://discussions.apple.com/threa...
- I've not noticed it, but if you're concerned bring the phone to Apple for evaluation.
- Me too facing same problem.. did u visit apple care?
And one good answer at least...
- google emf sensitivity, its real. You are right, there is a small current flowing through your body, try to limit your usage. The problem with this issue is those who aren't affected (lucky ones for now) will tell you these products are 100% safe. To a degree they are, i used my ipod touch for about 2 years straight vwith virtually no symptoms. then the tingling started and it gets worse.You will get more sensitive to progressively less powerful things. I dont want to scare you but just limit your usage like i didnt do 🙂
Overall that discussion was pretty good actually, aside from "bring it to the Genius Bar, they'll know for sure and not just sell you another unit". But then there's Reddit.
https://reddit.com/r/iphone/...
- Ok, real reason is probably that the extension cord and/or outlet is probably not grounded correctly. Either that or you are using a cheap knockoff charger.
Either use a surge protector and/or use the authentic Apple Charger.
- It's not the volts that hurt you, it's the amps
- I think you are in deep love with your phone. That tingling sensation is usually referred to as "love" in human language.
- Do less acid, I would advise.
Okay, so that's the real cancer. Grounding issue sounds reasonable despite it being wrong. Grounding is actually not needed when your charging appliance doesn't have any exposed metal parts. And isolation from high voltage to low voltage side actually happens through things like routering holes into the PCB, creating spark gaps, and using galvanic isolation through things like optocouplers. As for a surge protector? I'm using them to protect my PC and my servers, but the only purpose they serve is to protect from.. you guessed it.. voltage surges, like lightning bolts hitting the grid. They don't do shit for grounding or reducing this tingle! What a fucking tool.
It's not the volts that kill, it's the amps.. yeah I'm sure that the debunking of that is easy to find. Not gonna explain that here. And the rest of it.. yeah it's just fucking cancer.
Now what's the real issue with this tingle? It's actually a Class-Y rated (i.e. kV rated) capacitor that's on the transformer of any switch-mode power supply, including phone chargers. If memory serves me right, it helps with decoupling the switching noise and so on. But as it's connected to the primary side of the transformer, if the cap is sufficiently large and you are sufficiently sensitive, it can actually cause that tingle by passing a fraction of the mains electricity into your body. It's totally safe though, as the power that these caps pass is very small. But to some, it's noticeable.
Hope you found this interesting! And thanks a lot for bringing me to 2^15. I really appreciate it ♥️
14 -
I'm surprised by the ability of coworkers to get on my nerves. Here's an example...
Me: "Just upload those files you idiot! I got called up three times all because you couldn't upload this thing!"
Co-Worker: "Chill bro, I've got it all here safe and secure on my computer"
Me: "....."
(In mind: Should I do to him what Walter did in breaking bad.... Drown him in a vat of acid. Saves me the trouble of hiding the body)5 -
Do you know what annoys the living fuck out of me?
Me: no...?
Me: may I tell?
Me: yes, please do!
Me: okay here we go:
Sites which use Google fonts or apis or ajax or other Google-hosted libraries.
It takes fucking ages to load those sites (if they lost et-all) since I block as much as possible from that cocksucking mass surveillance network.
Google, feel free to die in a fucking corner while getting an acid shower and being stripped of your skin layer by layer, as slow as possible to increase the pain and suffering.15 -
Hello again, everyone. As Sunday comes to a close, and Monday is fast approaching, I'll share with you the likely cause of my death by stroke and/or heart attack:
MONDAY MORNING COFFEE OF HORROR
Disclaimer: Do NOT try this. I am a professional addict. I am not responsible for anything this brew from hell causes to you and/or those around you.
So, I wake up, feeling like I haven't slept for days, or just notice the fucking alarm clock shrieking because I pulled an all-nighter.
Step 1: Silence alarm clock via mild violence.
Step 2: Get the coffee machine to brew some filter coffee (espresso works too)
Step 3: Get milk and ice cubes from the fridge (both are needed, I don't care if you don't like milk, trust me)
Step 4: Get 2 spoonfuls (not tea spoon, and actually FULL spoonfuls) into the biggest glass you have
Step 5: Pour just a little of the warm filter coffee into the glass, just to get the instant coffee wet enough, and start mixing, until the result looks like the horror you unleashed in your toilet a few minutes ago (and will do so again in a few)
Step 6: Mix in 25-50 ml milk, just for the aesthetic change of colour of the devil-brew, and to add the necessary amount of lactic acid to react with the coffee to produce chemical X
Step 7: Add ice cubes to taste (if you are new to this, add a lot)
Step 8. Slowly add the filter coffee while mixing furiously, so that the light brown paste at the bottom get dissolved (it's harder than it sounds)
Now, take a deep breath. Before you is a disgusting brew undergoing a chemical reaction, and your moves need to be precise otherwise it will explode. Note that sugar or any other form of sweetener is FORBIDDEN, as it will block the reaction chain and the result won't be as potent.
Take a straw (a big one, not those needle-like ones that some cafeterias give to fool you into believing that the coffee is more than 150ml). Put it inside the mix, and check that the route to the bathroom is free of obstacles.
Now, clench your abs, close your nose if you are new to this, grab the straw and DRINK!
DRINK LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
THAT BROWN DEVIL'S BILE WILL HAVE YOUR INTESTINES SPASM AND DANCE THE MACARENA WHILE TWIRLING A HULA HOOP!
YOUR HEART WILL GO OVERDRIVE HARDER THAN YOUR PC'S CPU WHEN COMPILING ON ECLIPSE AND BROWSING WITH IE AT THE SAME TIME.
The combination of caffeine and lactic acid will bring out the perfectly disgusting combination of sour and bitter usually expected in rotting lemons. After you manage to chug it down (DON'T SPILL OR SPIT ANY!) you have 30 - 60 seconds max to run to the porcelain throne, where you will spend the next 30-60 minutes.
After that, nothing can stop you! You will fix bugs, write entire codebases from scratch, punch that annoying coworker, punch that boss! You will be a demigod among mortals for the next 6-8 hours!
Your recipes for Monday morning coffee?13 -
IPod didn't sync well on my Linux machines so decided to give windows - in a highly isolated environment disconnected from the Internet behind a firewall and sandbox - a shot with itunes.
- during the installation it wouldn't detect the fucking harddrive multiple times (genuine unlicensed copy) and after the 4-5th time it's random-fuckingly recognized out of fucking nowhere; I didn't change shit.
- crashes (blue screen and freezes) multiple times during the installation, multiple retries and suddenly it works(?!)
- it took about 10 minutes (!!!!!!!) to install 10+ drivers for an iPod and an external hdd:
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
WHY INSTALL THOSE FUCKERS 5 FUCKING TIMES?!
- iTunes installation fails multiple times without error code (unknown error occured, restoring to original state...),just said fuck it and clicked the shortcut after the ***th fail and it works just like this, THANKS FOR NOTIFYING ME (NOT)!
- iTunes has to restore the entire ipod, this was done with iTunes in the store I bought it already, thanks for nothing.
-restore takes 30+ minutes?!
-syncs the iPod 3 times afterwards.
*clicks close button*
*are you sure you want to quit? Sync in progress*
*oh shit, cancels*
*itunes quits*
*?!?!?*
*tries to import media library*
*seagate hdd suddenly not detected*
I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, windows and iTunes can go die in a fucking corner after getting ass raped while their genitals are being scraped off layer by fucking layer and dipped into fucking acid.14 -
Fuck post-it notes.
Oh look, another product manager found his inner child and plastered a wall with a colored arts and crafts project.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm abso-fucking-lutely in favor of connecting with your deep childish nature -- but then at least enter the meeting room like a boss, armed with some creative ideas, really get to work with some fingerpaint, modelling clay, glitter, molly, acid blotters and grape juice for the whole party.
Not only was that project poorly thought out. Not only does the assortment of colored squares contribute nothing to the clarification of ideas. The issue is also that by Monday morning, the meeting room will look like a strip club after an escalated party, floor littered with 60 little neon pink and green slips reeking of desperation, cheap glue and failure.
Now your whole project is on the floor.
OH DIGITAL WHITEBOARD YOU SAY. NOW WE HAVE 10 MANAGERS FIGHTING DIGITALLY OVER VIRTUAL POST-ITS, ON A CLOUD SERVICE COSTING $500/MONTH.
Product managers, just go fuck yourself, I don't care about your kindergarten bullshit processes.
Call me when you manage to pull a workable idea out of your ass, and just draw an SVG diagram with Inkscape, or write your brainfarts into a nicely organized Markdown file.1 -
Contenders for arseholes this week
- Elasticsearch as their implemented product identification and integration in client libraries like Python to exclude OpenSearch made a lot of things very painful. Yay....
- Microsoft decided to integrate kill switches in Exchange. Yeah.... Great stuff.
- Atlassian has another week of dumbness - after they botch release after release, they killed Slack with DNS
- Adoptium still hasn't managed to provide repositories after fucking up it's transition from AdoptOpenJDK
- No, a project with JDK 8 makes no sense anymore, take that shit and burn it. JDK 11 the same, would be great if we had a Repository working for JDK 17 Adoptium....
- unwanking a TLS setup by integrating an intermediary load balancer to deal with several outdated TLS implementation is a kind of thing that's really scary...
(TLS 1.3 in, TLS 1.1 - TLS 1.3 out... Theoretically all solutions have TLS 1.2… most of them non working. Solutions is a wild bunch from different vendors)
- If you buy a fucking new Apple with an Arm Chipset, ram it up so far up your arse it gets dissolved in stomach acid.
It's an arm. There's tons of compatibility problems of course. No you shouldn't listen to what the marketing says. No I cannot shit rainbows and make it work.
- German election. No politics I know, but still.
- New neighbors decided to move in. Friendly person's. Except I wanted to murder them since they choose 22 o clock for moving time.
- I forgot putting the heater on. Ever woken up frozen like fuck and having a hard week... It's a good combo to break any form of motivation.
The company next to me is renovating. Waking up to the feeling of an earth quake because they demolish their old building is another thing that makes me unhappy.
It's Friday. I survived.17 -
YES FINALLY SOMEBODY REPLIED TO MY JOB OFFER ON UPWORK LET ME OPEN THE MESSAGE
A LINK TO A ZIP FILE WITH PASSWORD THAT LOOKS SO SKETCHY HMMMMMMMMMMM
LETS OPEN IT
WHATS THIS
- aboutus/
-- COMPANY PROFILE.docx
-- Paiza.docx
-- PROJECT WORK.docx
- requirement.lnk
- training/
-- discussion/
--- instruction/
---- democrat/
----- marketing.bat
A MARKETING.BAT FILE FOR A JOB OFFER??? HMMM THATS SO INTERESTING LET ME OPEN THIS MARKETING.BAT IN VSCODE
OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT 10,000 LINES OF CODE OF ENCRYPTED CIPHER ENCODED MALWARE TROJAN MESSAGE TO FUCK UP MY C DRIVE.
WHY EVEN BOTHER. WHY DO YOU FUCKING WASTE MY FUCKING TIME YOU *********FUCKING*******++++ SCAMMERS I HOPE YOU GET CANCER AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY DIES IN THE MOST HARMFUL PAINFUL SLOW DEATH I HOPE SOMEONE POURS ACID ON YOUR FUCKING FACE AND YOU END UP AT A MEXICAN CARTEL GORE VIDEO WEBSITE WHERE THEY CHOP YOUR FUCKING ARMS AND LEGS OFF AND PUT A PITBULL TO MAUL YOUR FUCKING TINY DICK OFF AS YOUR HEAD WATCHES IN AGONY AND YOUR ARMLESS AND LEGLESS BODY FEELS ALL PAIN WHILE YOU'RE DRUGGED WITH ADRENALINE TO STAY ALIVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE THEY CUT YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFFFF DECAPITATED LIKE A FUCKING USELESS TURD SHIT FAGGOT WASTE OF OXYGEN SCAMMING CANCER FUCK
WHY SCAM ENGINEERS ON UPWORK????? WHAT DO YOU GET FROM IT????
11 -
These fucking nitwits who write on a non-stackoverflow site that they "solved it", without giving any clue whatsofuckingever about how they actually solved the problem, can all go take a shower in perchloric acid mixed with 2 days old hobo piss.1
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Went to IIT Bombay techfest. This is my favourite product. It's built to deliver you beer while you are enjoying in pool.
2 -
I think that two criterias are important:
- don't block my productivity
- author should have his userbase in mind
1) Some simple anti examples:
- Windows popping up a big fat blue screen screaming for updates. Like... Go suck some donkey balls you stupid shit that's totally irritating you arsehole.
- Graphical tools having no UI concept. E.g. Adobes PDF reader - which was minimalized in it's UI and it became just unbearable pain. When the concept is to castrate the user in it's abilities and call the concept intuitive, it's not a concept it's shit. Other examples are e.g. GEdit - which was severely massacred in Gnome 3 if I remember correctly (never touched Gnome ever again. I was really put off because their concept just alienated me)
- Having an UI concept but no consistency. Eg. looking at a lot of large web apps, especially Atlassian software.
Too many times I had e.g. a simple HTML form. In menu 1 you could use enter. In menu 2 Enter does not work. in another menu Enter works, but it doesn't submit the form it instead submits the whole page... Which can end in clusterfuck.
Yaaayyyy.
- Keyboard usage not possible at all.
It becomes a sad majority.... Pressing tab, not switching between form fields. Looking for keyboard shortcuts, not finding any. Yes, it's a graphical interface. But the charm of 16 bit interfaces (YES. I'm praising DOS interfaces) was that once you memorized the necessary keyboard strokes... You were faster than lightning. Ever seen e.g. a good pharmacist, receptionist or warehouse clerk... most of the software is completely based on short keyboard strokes, eg. for a receptionist at a doctor for the ICD code / pharmaceutical search et cetera.
- don't poop rainbows. I mean it.
I love colors. When they make sense. but when I use some software, e.g. netdata, I think an epilepsy warning would be fair. Too. Many. Neon. Colors. -.-
2) It should be obvious... But it's become a burden.
E.g. when asked for a release as there were some fixes... Don't point to the install from master script. Maybe you like it rolling release style - but don't enforce it please. It's hard to use SHA256 hash as a version number and shortening the hash might be a bad idea.
Don't start experiments. If it works - don't throw everything over board without good reasons. E.g. my previous example of GEdit: Turning a valuable text editor into a minimalistic unusable piece of crap and calling it a genius idea for the sake of simplicity... Nope. You murdered a successful product.
Gnome 3 felt like a complete experiment and judging from the last years of changes in the news it was an rather unsuccessful one... As they gave up quite a few of their ideas.
When doing design stuff or other big changes make it a community event or at least put a poll up on the github page. Even If it's an small user base, listen to them instead of just randomly fucking them over.
--
One of my favorite projects is a texteditor called Kate from KDE.
It has a ton of features, could even be seen as a small IDE. The reason I love it because one of the original authors still cares for his creation and ... It never failed me. I use Kate since over 20 years now I think... Oo
Another example is the git cli. It's simple and yet powerful. git add -i is e.g. a thing I really really really love. (memorize the keyboard shortcuts and you'll chunk up large commits faster than flash.
Curl. Yes. The (http) download tool. It's author still cares. It's another tool I use since 20 years. And it has given me a deep insight of how HTTP worked, new protocols and again. It never failed me. It is such a fucking versatile thing. TLS debugging / performance measurements / what the frigging fuck is going on here. Take curl. Find it out.
My worst enemies....
Git based clients. I just hate them. Mostly because they fill the niche of explaining things (good) but completely nuke the learning of git (very bad). You can do any git action without understanding what you do and even worse... They encourage bad workflows.
I've seen great devs completely fucking up git and crying because they had really no fucking clue what git actually does. The UI lead them on the worst and darkest path imaginable. :(
Atlassian products. On the one hand... They're not total shit. But the mass of bugs and the complete lack of interest of Atlassian towards their customers and the cloud movement.... Ouch. Just ouch.
I had to deal with a lot of completely borked up instances and could trace it back to a bug tracking entry / atlassian, 2 - 3 years old with the comment: vote for this, we'll work on a Bugfix. Go fuck yourself you pisswads.
Microsoft Office / Windows. Oh boy.
I could fill entire days of monologues.
It's bad, hmkay?
XEN.
This is not bad.
This is more like kill it before it lays eggs.
The deeper I got into XEN, the more I wanted to lay in a bathtub full of acid to scrub of the feelings of shame... How could anyone call this good?!?????4 -
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming1
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Do you guys have the concept of caller tune in your country?
It's like when someone calls you, they hear a fancy melody (selected by you) instead of tring tring..
What a stupid concept. I pay for that shit and someone else who calls me gets to hear the good music whereas when I call someone, I hear the stupid tring tring or some music that I don't want to hear.
Shouldn't it be like, I pick some tune and whenever I call anyone, I should be able to hear it instead of tring tring because I am paying for it and I love to hear good music?
I am sure the creature who invented the concept was a Raccoon on some cheap acid.15 -
Wanna know how to piss off an entire dev team?
Agree that progressive isn't good enough, must be native.
And supporting ie7 & 8 won't take much extra time or effort...2 -
This would've helped a lot in chem class: https://youtu.be/IAJsZWhj6GI
Maybe. Or at least made it less monotone...1 -
My friend confused between truncate and append. He opened a file in w+ mode in python. So to solve the issue he called me at midnight disturbing my sleep. So now onwards before going to sleep I always put my phone on flight mode.1
-
Helpful work advice then: “work hard and we will notice your successes and improvement, we believe in you”
Helpful work advice now: “Evil corporate mfs. Nefarious manipulators trying to fuck you. They want to destroy you and milk the last drop from your pathetic spirit. They would watch you burn in a pit of acid for entertainment. Get the bag and get out fam.”11 -
some students aren't treating their school laptops well at all, today i had a student asking us if he would get a replacement if he "accidentally" gave it a little bath in acid :/5
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Darkest client description.
With a gift since birth, if you answer this riddle: Who I be?
The fetus of a demon,
Semen from the tip.
Of the penis I'm the only thing
That you see when you're dreaming,
Armageddon and aftermath
This may blog in paragraphs.
Sit on a throne, full of X's and bones
Blowing smoke and I laugh.
Turning sinners like you,
Into my personal acid tabs.
Let me put you up on game,
I've been shot, burned, and stabbed, and still ain't deceased,
I carry the mark of the beast
Now can you tell me
Who the fuck I be?
Client, as the guyreplies
Wine, red wine was the color of his eyes
Coughing a lot of blood like Piru, but he slowly dies
As his eyes close shut, in prison was his eternal life
Realisation of the client being devil.2 -
Thanks MongoDB for introducing transactions (ACID) in 4.0 version ... This is really going to help a lot.1
-
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.2
-
Holy shit! Since when was mongodb a publicly trading company... and 272 a share wtfffff
seems like i gotta start a non ACID database company sometime soon!2 -
Things I wish I knew when I was younger:
- no matter how clean your teeth are, bad breath won't go away until you clean your tongue. Buy a tongue cleaner and use it after you brush your teeth
- whitening toothpastes don't work, while desensitizing ones work well.
- after you brush your teeth, spit but do NOT rinse!
- when brushing your teeth, keep the toothbrush angled 45 degrees. The bristle ends should touch the area where your gums meet your teeth.
- use sunscreen every morning.
- don't waste money on acne-treating products unless they contain salicylic acid, benzoyl peroxide, tretinoin or adapalene.
- if you want to lose weight, you have to eat MORE, not less. But, that “more” should be protein.
- showering every morning feels like “humanity restored” thing from Dark Souls. Also, clean your damn room and wash your damn windows.
- APS-C DSLR cameras make no sense. For their weight, you can get a full-frame camera, and for their price you can get an APS-C mirrorless cam that will be way lighter.
- If you want a damn thing, save up and buy that damn thing. Don't buy the alternative thing you don't want. You'll be asking “what if” till you either die or buy the original damn thing.
- people aren't replaceable, but many people can fit their designated role. Not being able to replace your ex-boyfriend with his exact copy doesn't mean no one else can be your boyfriend.
- try a MacBook & iPhone as soon as you can to check whether it's your thing or not, because if it is, oh boy are you in for a treat.
- added sugar is evil, but it's beneficial for the economy. It makes you fat, so you need a car, so you buy fuel. Also, you feel guilty because you're fat, so you buy diet products & things to compensate because you hate your reflection in the mirror. You also pay medical fees to treat your newly developed health problems, and you die a day before retirement. Everyone makes a buck on you eating added sugar but you.
- you can use the freshly removed sticker to remove the sticky residue left by that same sticker.
- static typing doesn't solve jack shit.3 -
If there's one thing I'd gladly kill with fire, then pass it over a steamy steamroller, then burn it a tank of hot fluoroantimonic acid, is every fucking Java library that returns null instead of throwing a meaningful exception.
Is it really that difficult for you to throw an exception anyway, then let ME figure out if I can ignore it or not?
Thanks to you, now I have to do super messy reflection things just to figure why did you return a null.
I'm not your fucking psychologist trying to pull your inner secrets. But I have to be, for the sake of stability of my app. Which already has its own mess of problems on its own.7 -
Languages as women in your life
1) Python's the Girl Friend
2) Java is the Wife/Long term Partner
3) JS is just on Acid. I don't fuck with her..
C++ is for Wifey for the ones with OCDs
P.S : I know how OCDs get. My heart goes out to these people. This is just some frivolous fun16 -
😶🤢🤮 Crap I have a stomach ache today and vomited while I was taking a shower. Suspecting that this is related to Acid Reflux. Sigh I need to reduce my coffee intake. I want to go to work today but I can't due to unbearable pain. I hope this will lessen later because I'll go later to the hospital for a check up.5
-
Wanted to jump back into UB Ports after my old Nexus 5 decided to leak battery acid everywhere .-.
Thought I would try and find another Nexus 5, apparently the only functional ones are going to cost me $300 AUD, that's a no go...
Ok let's look for a one plus one, better hardware and may be better to find anyway, nope not a single one plus one online....
Short things short, if anyone can find either of these phones for reasonable prices (AUD) you know who to contact .-.
(I've been searching for 2 hours now and have nothing)2 -
Alright fellow sweaty programmers, mama Kiki is here to teach you the basics of hygiene.
TEETH
- If you have a toothpaste prescription, use it.
- Every single whitening toothpaste is a scam. Don’t use them.
- Every single over-the-counter toothpaste that decreases sensitivity does work. If your teeth are sensitive, use it.
- Otherwise, buy the cheapest name-brand toothpaste.
- Use dental floss. As long as it’s flat and waxed, the cheapest one will do.
- When flossing, never move the floss back and forth as if you try to saw through your gums. Just put the floss in, then out. Repeat if necessary.
- Don’t put your toothpaste on your toothbrush. Put a small amount of it directly in your mouth with a bit of water. Close your mouth and spread toothpaste all over your teeth using a rinsing motion, as if it was mouthwash. Now your teeth are completely covered.
- When brushing teeth, don’t use -90°/0°/90° angles. Use -35°/35°. This way you will spend less time while getting better cleansing. Bristle ends should touch where your teeth meet your gums.
- Get yourself a tongue scrubber. Scrub your tongue until what comes off of it is clean. Dirty tongue is why your breath smells bad, not dirty teeth.
- After you’re done, don’t rinse! Spit the toothpaste out, but let its residue stay there. The remineralization process is now started. If you follow the routine, you don’t need mouthwash at all.
- Drinking/eating sugary things, not washing your teeth and going straight to bed is the best way to get cavities ASAP. In your mouth, sugar quickly turns into the kind of acid that we use for soldering. It can strip the oxide layer off of copper. Do you know how after you drink Coke, your teeth become almost squeaky clean? That’s this. If you like sugary drinks, carefully drink them using a straw. Rinse immediately after you’re done drinking & eating.
SHAVING
- Get yourself an old-school safety T-razor, the one that takes suicide blades. It will last a lifetime. Mühle and Merkur are good manufacturers (not affiliated). Once you have it, for the rest of your life, you will only buy blades. This is the most environmentally friendly way to get a clean, close shave. Electric razors save water, but they often contain batteries.
- Because of how violently electric razor’s blades hit hair while cutting it, they chip your hair. This leads to your freshly grown hair being sharp, rough and unpleasant to the touch. The manual razor, on the other hand, produce clean edges. When your hair grows back, it will be softer than what you get with an electric razor.
- Feather brand blades (not affiliated) are the sharpest in the world. The sharper the blade, the less traumatic it is. Watch T-razor tutorials on YouTube. There are different shaving techniques that will get you a killer shave.
- T-razor blades last considerably longer than their modern soyboy single-use counterparts.
- Because of a single blade construction, T-razor almost never leaves irritation.
- Basically, modern single-use plastic blades are horrible for the environment, and they’re almost a scam for how much you get for your money. They’re only rivaled by printer ink. Use them only for intimate shaving, as they’re considerably handier down there.
- Always shave after hot shower.
- Before shaving, dry the skin surface. Apply shaving foam on dry skin only, as it contains chemicals that make your hair softer. When diluted, they’re not as effective, and shaving unsoftened hair is almost always unpleasant and dangerous.
- After applying the foam, wait about a minute for the foam to work. If the skin gets irritated, don’t wait for as long, or perhaps try a different foam brand.
- Before shaving, thoroughly clean your razor with hand sanitizer or ethanol. Ideally, it should be sterile. Using boiling hot water is also a good option, just be careful with it.
- After shaving, rinse off foam, immediately dry your skin with a clean towel, then apply aftershave. After applying it, don’t touch your skin until it completely dries. If you follow this routine, your skin won’t get any pimples, guaranteed.
- Scrubs won’t help you. Don’t use them.
More in the comments!11 -
Being handed an old system to maintain with scant documentation, and being expected to understand exactly how it works.. FFS It looks like a bunch of monkeys on acid got into the codebase 😣 I doubt even they knew what this fucking code does, and they wrote it!
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My New medication is !AMAZING....
Yesterday went to the Doc (another 100€ sniff) and got a new update on medication...
(check my profile history for the posts last weekend if ya curious).
One of them must be opium or something... I got so high It looked like Opium (I never did heavy drugs).
Now I'm falling all the time, Can't remember much last night and... man... I use/used Cannabis as medicine for years (on and off as needed) ... Still, remember when I could get high... And the highest time was when I learned cannabis it's great to stop suicide (A friend got me so stoned I couldn't move... Even if didn't really take out the tendencies and thoughts to kill yourself, you can't do it anyway...)
But this new Pill... ONLY SHEEAAATTTT...
Only problem,,, I can't really do shit Until my body gains tolerance... and I was doing so much cool ideas in my Office...
Btw, no more Space Again... The more drawers I place, the more stuff gets here...
But I think I'll lose all my energy again for the next months, so, fuck it.3 -
If you are having tough time recalling important stuff just start studying anything you hate. I can recall even unimportant stuff using this method..
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!rant
For the brave souls among you... Email On Acid have made an excellent PDF guide on CSS animation in email.
No, that's not a typo! 😮💥
https://emailonacid.com/images/...3 -
If this unit test were a real person, I'dsmack it across the face with a steel pipe and shatter its spine with a spiked mace coated in acid. Then I'd toss the fucker into a pit full of a hundred angry, rabid weasels and snarling, hungry raccoons, sprinkle some ground chestnuts and cocaine and tell bastard to run until I see some goddamn green.5
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Been up all night with the screaming shits and chest pains (acid reflux), my dad's told me either i pay off his car in full (i'm unemployed and need $100k or so) by the end of the month or i'm homeless, and my computer's beginning to have issues as my GPU's warping under its own weight (and I can't afford another R9 380.)15
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really surprised Gatorade isn't sued because it actually basically has no electrolytes in it and it wouldn't rehydrate you
but it's known for it, it advertises it on the damned bottle
but it has no goddamned electrolytes (or rather the things we consider electrolytes when humans say you need more electrolytes)
because citric acid "can conduct electricity" it has electrolytes!
but you specifically need potassium, magnesium, sodium, calcium 😒
they do have some sodium and a TEEEENY totally insignificant amount of potassium. and a SHITTON of instant sugar.
I impulse bought some on a sale because my blood pressure was so bad I was gonna drop at the hospital which were unhelpful twats, and it helped I think simply because I was in such such such a bad state (and the doctors just telling me I'm pregnant instead of checking me was pretty fucked up, too), but to restore balance to my body I need something else that doesn't give me fucking diabetes because it "rehydrates" wtf
and citric acid fuck who knows what happens to that. it has no potassium, magnesium, sodium, or calcium molecules in it. which I figured maybe it got decomposed into them but nada
I was at the pharmacy and spotted a bottle specifically claiming "electrolytes" right beside the pharmists and it similarly had no actual electrolytes and instead citric acid and a bunch of weird flavouring shit. how can these people sell this garbage. humanity is disgusting. they should be sued11 -
Yes WP sites can be bad.
But as bad as it can be, just as easy it can serve as a good kickstarter for the next website.
If just the developer behind said website has some kind of dignity about the code they produce and respect for their fucking job!
1. Don't use bloated plugins.
2. Always vheck out alternatives.
3. Don't ever use paid plugins/themes... just don't.
I for one, whenever installing a plugin, if said plugin generates any kind of unexpected output such as a notice it's an immidiate uninstall, and then rolling my own.
I also use a bare minimum boilerplate theme which does not bundle any frameworks, additional libaries or other kinds of that bloatware for all my wp sites, this ensures that every site is somewhay unique.
I've seen so many "devs" being lazy as fuck, using the wrong themes/plugins to "code" the site.
No! using page builders such as visual composer or bloatware slideshows does not count as good tools.
If you buy a theme from themeforest thinking it will save you hours of custom development, then fuck you... go drown in acid.. because guess fucking what?
It will save you absolutely jack shit in the long run..
Anything stating otherwhise is marketing bullcrap4 -
Fuck you GREEN CHEMISTRY!
Fuck you SULPHURIC ACID
Fuck you NITRIC ACID
Fuck you U.S. PRESIDENTIAL GREEN CHEMISTRY CHALLENGE AWARDS
Fuck you WATER PHASE CYCLE
Fuck you CARBON DIOXIDE
ahhh! finally its over...
shit FUCKING PHYSICS EXAM STILL LEFT !
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh3 -
The one time I tried acid, my peak consisted of first three boxes of alternating 1s & 0s followed by an error 404 hallucination
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If anyone complains one more time about "windows is built upon a DLL-Hell", i will challenge this specific anyone to implement react into an existing PHP-Project.
Installing matching package versions via npm is the real struggle.
Especially if you decide to be a node psycho who's delivering his react code via webpack.
*projectile vomiting in a straight beam of acid vomit*
Wasted a complete day of my life, dealing with Facebook's naughty shit.... -
Not job but during internship, the guy I didn’t like gave me the electrical circuit task, with acid bath and shit. I had to create 2 from the original tEmplate. I realized one copy had one of its connecting plate removed by mistake. I duplicated my mistake on the second copy as well.
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I don't even know if the shitty rant gets through this unreliable service I pay for with my money. I want to fucking wrap my hand in that money, light it up and fucking beat your teeth out while shoving this fucking money down your greedy, second arseholes. Honestly, what am I paying you for. These last couple of days your service was less reliable than a drunkard behind the wheel trying to drive in a straight line. Exactly this fucking week where there's a fucking hackathon. This very fucking week l where I got to be the team leader, you make me look like a fucking unreliable internet twat who just talks big. This very fucking week I'm given a internet service that doesn't even let me communicate with my team mates. Why do you dare to display fucking 3g? Is the the force my fist should take? Is it the fucking amount of gallons of acid you want to be showered with? Well fucking pay that shit with the money you earned. Just let me fucking work, let me give my best, give me a fucking way to look at the docs, give me a fucking way to test my code (chat bot), give me a fucking way to tell you to go fuck yourself using your fucking antennas, maybe thst will help.
Kindly, a pissed of customer who's rage makes the heatwave look like a lesser evil.1 -
The only way I’ll be happy is if every politician’s house is destroyed by a tomahawk missle💣
The only way I’ll be happy is if I live in forest with unlimited Percocets💊
The only way I’ll be happy is if I bathed in a river of chocolate pistachios and wintergreen zyns🍫
The only way I’ll be happy is if Sid the IT guy posts a pic of his Lucious titties😩
The only way I’ll be happy is if I go inside of bill murray freaky Friday style👴🏻
The only way I’ll be happy is if I think God is actually real🙏
The only way I’ll be happy is if I get to wear the skin of my favorite celebrity 😍
The only way I’ll be happy is if I hold hands with Morena Baccarin as I watch the world literally go up in a gigantic fireball 🇺🇸
The only way I’ll be happy is if I take acid and 5 Benadryls and take in my live action horror film that is my life 🎥
The only way I’ll be happy is if I take gas station dick pills and huff gasoline and start as many fights as possible 🤺
Share on bible.com if you agree 😔3
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